The Magicians (2016) s02e10 Episode Script

1 Previously on "The Magicians" This contract initiates our services in exchange for Unlimited manual and magical labor? You signed that insane contract? - Yeah, it's okay.
- How the hell is that okay? Because I get magic back.
Did you do this for me? I'm Bayler, a proud soldier of Fillorians United.
We will not rest until a Fillorian sits upon the throne.
The fairies can bring back The Wellspring? - They can.
- And in return? A royal child of Whitespire.
We're getting married.
Apparently all monarchs are entitled to one of each: a wife and a husband.
Alice, I hope you meant it.
I hope you just go and do beautiful magic.
Quentin says go free.
You fed him to Reynard.
He knew how to survive.
Yeah, by doing what you want.
That's all you see anymore, is what you want.
You don't feel anymore, Julia-- not the way a human does.
Do you remember the gift that Jane was given in the book "The Girl Who Told Time"? Ember gave her the ability to fuck with time on a cosmic scale.
Jane used it to create a time loop.
In each loop, Jane alters something to see if it'll change the outcome.
What's different this time? I was at Brakebills.
You were supposed to be.
Or you were, like, 39 times.
You were the thing they changed.
Very impressive, Ms.
Wicker.
Let me do it again.
I was wondering what would happen if I connected the sequence with Atsuko's Spectral Refraction.
All right.
[exhales.]
[calm music.]
[chuckles.]
That is a second year spell.
I--I read ahead.
More than that, you-- you understood the theory behind the spell, and-- and you reshaped it.
Your discipline is meta-composition.
You are a Knowledge student.
- Knowledge? - Part psychic, part physical.
There really is no branch it doesn't touch on.
The short version: you are drawn, mind and body, to the discovery of magic.
Is it true that they-- um, well that we-- live in the attic above the Library? I assure you it is much more luxurious than it sounds.
No, I mean, it sounds like bliss, actually.
I enjoyed it.
You were a Knowledge student? I am a Knowledge student.
It doesn't end with your degree.
You have a rare gift, Julia, and I must admit I'm envious of the many rich discoveries that you have ahead of you.
Welcome.
Thank you.
[door opens.]
You are free to go.
Why would you let me go? Because, Ms.
Wicker, you are not a student here, and I'm not running a jail.
Kady locked me up for a good reason.
I should feel terrible about what I did.
But I don't.
I just think it's terrible, and I think I would've never done it if I were me.
One thing I've learned about you, Ms.
Wicker, is that you are a searcher.
You don't know me.
39 times I've known you.
Which is why I trust that you'll put aside your fear and self-pity and look for the answers that can save you.
Why am I the only one worried about this wedding? Congratulations.
You failed.
Oh, hey, hey, um, King needs more wine.
Of course, sire.
I feel bad; I forgot your name.
It's Smedley, sire.
Smedley.
Thanks, Smedley.
Hey.
I'll take that.
Oh, no, wait, I'm-- I'm not done.
I think you were.
Not cool.
Those grapes died for nothing now.
Those grapes died so you might live.
Because if you keep drinking, I will seriously cut a bitch.
You never yell at Eliot for being drunk.
Because Eliot's fun.
You're depressing.
It's been three months.
Technically, it's only been a couple of days on Earth, so Three months on Fillory of emo Quentin.
Not my favorite Quentin.
I didn't know that you liked any of the Quentins.
[sighs.]
I had to let Alice go.
I'm sympathetic.
Okay? But meanwhile, Groomzilla is suddenly my full-time job.
I need your help.
Bambi! This is an emergency.
These are all wrong.
You're banished forever.
Thank you.
He's just so mean when he needs things.
Eliot needs a friend, asshole.
It's your turn to be button boy and run his random Earth errands.
I need a free moment to rub one out in a hot bath before I fucking kill someone.
That someone being you.
Message received.
And get your feet off my throne.
This is insane.
Why the fuck would Fogg let Julia go? Haven't you ever noticed? Fogg isn't that helpful.
Plus, you knew he couldn't keep her in there forever.
Yeah, well, I thought she'd at least be in there long enough for us to figure out what to do next.
Where are you going? I still have Reynard to deal with.
And I really don't want to run into Julia.
Fine, let's go.
Okay, no.
Penny, Reynard is my problem.
We've been over this.
Rapist monsters are a universal problem.
And the last time you tried to help, you signed, like, a billion-year contract with The Order.
When does that start, by the way? Not today.
Takes 'em four weeks to process a book request.
Let's go.
[eerie music.]
Uh where are we? Penny, we've processed your application and would like to formally welcome you to The Order.
Shit.
[enchanting music.]
Congratulations! [clears throat.]
Kady, we've allowed you here to assist in Penny's transition.
But I'm afraid I'm not allowed to discuss the business of The Order with you present.
Yeah, fine.
I'll fuck off.
Uh, no eating or drinking in the Library except where posted.
Now, Penny, we need to go over some of yourobligations.
I just don't get it.
I mean, I did head off a famine-- personally staved off a war.
Not to mention, The Wellspring is back online.
And yet the people don't like me any more than they did.
How can you possibly know what they actually think of you? There's this Earth magician, Nate Silver.
I adapted one of his polling spells.
Right now, my approval rating is at 26%, which is not good, Bayler.
Not at all.
But still, why ask me? Mmm, I don't know.
I figured you might know why they hate me so much, seeing as you tried to murder me.
Okay, that was before I got to know you.
And before you introduced me to this Earth delicacy-- na-chos.
Wait till you try your first margarita.
Mmm.
Listen If you're really worried about what the people think of you, let's talk about your wedding.
Ugh.
Can we not? Historically, a royal wedding is the perfect time for a monarch to make their appeal to the people.
Idri prefers a private ceremony.
But what if you went public? Might improve your polling.
One for $20, three for $50.
Which gets you the highest? Highest? This is grown locally from heirloom seed stock, paired with the ideal pastry for a curated drug experience.
This will make you levitate.
This is like being hugged by a rainbow.
This is like being blown by a rainbow.
Do not mix these up.
Yeah, I'll take six.
So the High King needs me? Yes, he asked for you specifically.
A command performance.
Righteous.
[chuckles.]
How are-- how are you doing? The last time I saw you, you weren't doing so good.
Whatever happened with the whole, uh-- I let her go.
I'm fine.
I've been self-medicating, so-- uh, they don't have Abilify in Fillory, but I have been improvising.
Well, this is Dr.
Josh's prescription.
I mean, we don't have to race off to Fillory right this second.
We have a minute.
What's it do? Dude, lets you see into other worlds.
It's rad.
[mystical music.]
[muffled voices.]
This is rad.
[muffled voices.]
[girl humming.]
Is that you Quentin? Um you look familiar.
Holy shit, Julia? Why do you look like a 12-year-old? Because I'm her Shade.
Oh, Q, I'm so happy to see you again.
I really, really missed you.
Her Shade? I thought that you were gone.
I'm lost.
I can't find my way home.
This is getting less rad.
Please, Quentin.
I've been looking for a way out, and then suddenly I could see you.
Yeah, you're in another world.
Um where are you? I have no idea.
I can't stay here.
Time is running out.
- Can you help me? - Yeah, I'll try.
H-how can I find you? I don't know.
I don't even know how I got here.
Please, Quentin.
I have to get back to Julia.
You have to find me before it's too late.
Holy shit, are we at war? - [ Sighs .]
- I wish we were at war.
These are the place settings for the wedding.
Much more dangerous.
How's Josh doing in the royal kitchens? Uh he's declared them "adequate.
" Eliot, I have to go back to Earth.
Don't be ridiculous.
You have far too much to do here.
I had a vision, okay? A way that I can maybe help Julia.
[sighs.]
I can't ignore it.
Can't you? It was a motherfucking vision, El.
Look, I don't know how else to say it.
I just--I feel like this is something that I-- I have to do right now.
I can see that.
[whispering.]
Yeah.
If you miss my wedding, I will kill you.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[sighs softly.]
Hey, uh, can you help me find some information? Of course.
What are you looking for? Well, say you have a-- a being with an enormous amount of power.
I'm looking for how someone might you know, defeat them.
How much power? Let's say god-like? So classical myths? No, more like a how-to manual.
Let me check upstairs.
[whooshing.]
So do we just wait? Oh.
I'm afraid we don't have any books available on that particular topic.
There's nothing in the entire Library of the Neitherlands on killing any kind of god? Have you considered that it might not be strictly possible to do so? Didn't the Norse Gods kill each other, like, all the time? The Library is full of stories.
It happened.
I know it has.
In Fillory, The Beast killed Umber.
Sounds fascinating.
Unfortunately, there is no written record of the type you seek regarding the mechanics of such an event.
Terribly sorry.
[sighs.]
Struck out looking for a god-murder spell.
It can't be that no one in all of history ever-- Well, apparently, no one ever wrote it down.
Look, if a way exists, I'm finding it.
So what's up with your hands? They told me there are books to help me, but I'd have to do the research on my own time.
Seriously? What are you supposed to do in the meantime? My job.
Apparently, I track down overdue books, and this one has been checked out for over ten years.
You got to be kidding.
Since I still can't cast, I thought you could help me out with a little locator spell? [clears throat.]
My King.
Hi, Fen.
Are you all right? Yes, fine.
How go the wedding preparations? Oh they're fine.
Is there anything I can help with? Is that something that you'd actually want to help with? You're acting like you think I'd disapprove of it.
Your husband is about to welcome another husband into his bed.
You're a king.
Of course you will.
I gather a three-person marriage isn't normal on Earth? Not outside of Utah.
Or some websites.
Those are cities made of pixels, right? Close.
My mission, so you understand it, is to protect our growing family.
Your marriage to Idri means a stronger kingdom to raise our child in.
You are being way more understanding about this than I would be in your shoes.
That's my job.
Look, I'm gonna go talk to my royal chef.
Care to join? Thanks.
I'm not feeling good.
It's morning sickness.
[gasps.]
[eerie music.]
[knocking on door.]
[sighs.]
Q, leave.
I'm not going anywhere.
Just open the door.
Fuck, I could've-- I could've killed you.
You know, I never-- I never once stopped to ask if I was doing the right thing.
And now it's all I ask.
If I did this, would Q look at me like I'm evil? I can't really feel any of it anymore.
I'm doing it from memory.
[somber music.]
I'm broken.
And that makes me dangerous.
So you should go.
Jules I talked to your Shade.
Wait, so you saw her in a-- Yeah, uh, I mean, there were drugs involved.
But I--I know that it was real.
And she's still alive? Yeah.
Well, I don't really know if that term applies here, but she's not gone.
So where is she? I don't know.
But wherever she is, she wants us to find her.
- What is this? - Culinary classic.
Oysters and pearls from the French Laundry.
I had to get Thomas Keller so wrecked before he'd show me the secret to that recipe.
Mmm.
I just don't think it's "Fillory" enough.
But half of Fillory eats boiled mutton.
Let's introduce them to, like, actual food.
This is their world.
We have to meet them halfway, don't you think? Well, if half your recipe is shit, it's all going to taste like shit.
Okay, okay.
Fine, fine.
Forget the dish.
Let's start with, "What do you want people to feel when they eat it?" I want everyone to like me.
Then let's just make this easy.
I'll make a potion.
Poof! They'll like you! - Donesies! - I need this.
There's nothing in here either.
Got to keep looking.
[sighs.]
So scratchy.
Go away, Todd.
Stuff about the afterlife is super wonky.
It's too close to religion.
It's--it's hard to figure out what's not a flat-out lie.
Right? Hey, is this place real? No.
You're hungover, Todd.
Look, I found a passage here.
Sort of vague, but it mentions Shades.
One passage in a dozen books? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Shades.
I mean, something.
Nobody talks about Shades.
There's got to be a reason.
I know, right? I mean, when Fogg talked about 'em the other day, it was the first I heard about 'em.
What? My work study job-- I type up Fogg's memoirs.
I guess he has, like, a crazy book deal.
He's led a seriously weird life.
Did you know that he and Bob Ross had a dark artistic rivalry, and-- What did he say about Shades? Something like he knew someone who was obsessed with them? I do know-- or I suppose I knew someone who was interested in Shades-- was.
Ah, it's rather confusing.
Confusing why? Because you know her too.
It's Alice.
Honestly, I don't think that she knew anything about Shades.
No, of course not.
That Alice didn't.
This Alice is a different story.
What do you mean "this" Alice? Do you recall the time loop I told you about? The 39 lifetimes? No one remembers them except me.
Yeah, of course.
You knew another me.
The Alice from the 23rd timeline was the sole survivor of The Beast.
She became obsessed with the afterlife, how to commune with lost souls, and Shades.
[stammering.]
Would she know where one would go? I don't know what she knew.
She just talked about them a lot.
She was different than your Alice.
She was hurt--broken.
We need to talk to her.
Well, you can't.
It's already happened.
Essentially in another universe.
It's gone.
Well, what about a Tesla Flexion? What is it? It's how we could talk to her.
Can I ask you a woman question? Ugh.
I barely understand women.
I think my pregnant wife might be having weird pregnant wife feelings.
Ew.
Definitely not my rice bowl.
She just seems like her head is elsewhere all the time.
What do you mean? Every time I run into her, I feel like I'm interrupting a conversation.
Except there's no one else there.
What is it? Nothing.
[exhales.]
I need some air.
Fuzzbeat? It's, like, a website.
They do serious news and cat videos at the same time.
That's fucking dumb.
Well, it's where the tracking spell said to go.
We're looking for Harriet.
And you are? Just tell we're from The Order.
Is that the new Pilates place? - Yes.
- Sweet.
That's a fucking unicorn in a tutu.
[soft rock music.]
We're here for the book.
"Principles of Conjuring Elementals.
" It's ten years overdue.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! She's not casting.
She's signing.
Oh.
Yeah, I--I don't-- I don't speak that.
She said we don't look like librarians.
All right, well, you know, tell her we're looking for the book.
We need that book back.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Your signing is terrible.
Yeah, my signing's a little rusty.
[laughing.]
- What'd she say? - Uh, don't worry about it.
So what's your deal? You write listicles, and you do magic in your spare time? No.
This is my magic.
What are you talking about? Your clickbait site? Yeah, right.
- What the fuck is she saying? - Shh.
See for yourself.
"18 Pandas With Things That Look Like Pandas"? Half of those don't even look like pandas.
That's how to conjure dark matter! What did you do to the pandas? It's an encoded spell.
All these articles are.
Wait, wait, how about-- how about "Drunk Guys Eating Kids' Vitamins"? No! Really? [laughing.]
- Oh, my God, that's-- - Yeah, when you guys are done bonding, do you think you could ask her for the book now, please? Relax, kid.
I'll find it.
Oh.
Mm! Just give us a sec.
[groans.]
So I don't get it.
Why do all this? You're not wrong.
[laughs.]
Well, I was looking for the kind of knowledge the Library doesn't have.
Oh, the usual-- beauty tips, recipes, how to kill a trickster god.
Ah.
[dramatic music.]
- Here you go.
- Finally.
Let's go.
- Have a nice day.
- Fuck off.
Thank you.
Why am I staring at a plate of half-eaten nachos? A question I've asked myself very often at 3:00 a.
m.
- So I was doing the dishes-- - You're supposed to be cooking.
I know.
I kind of roofied the dishwasher.
Um, that is not okay.
No, not "roofied" roofied.
Uh, more like he loves everyone so much, he's catatonic.
It was an accident.
I was testing the potion for you.
Might have made it a little too strong.
Forget it.
Doesn't matter.
The point is, I found this.
"Wedding day.
Western gate unguarded.
Bring gifts there.
" I'm assuming they're not talking about actual gifts.
No.
They're talking about chopping our heads off.
Ooh.
That backgammon-playing prick.
Ah! I was so stupid.
After all the hours I spent down in the dungeon, I actually thought I'd won Bayler over.
I thought I had rehabbed his soul.
Oh, honey.
We both know rehab is about more than nachos and backgammon.
Is it? Is it, Margo? Wait, so you're upset because the guy who tried to kill you is gonna try and kill you again? I should've executed him.
It's not like anybody likes me anyway.
I'm down 5%.
And now the Fu Fighters are gonna red my wedding! No.
Okay? We won't let that happen.
Josh, where's that dishwasher? Still in the armoire.
Why is he in the armoire? 'Cause I'm not good in a crisis, okay? How were you ever a drug dealer? Look, that note was meant for the dishwasher.
He's probably been passing messages to the Fu Fighters this whole time, so here's what we do.
We help him sober up, and then-- We execute him.
No.
But it means so much to me that you want to.
We put the note back into the dirty dishes.
We let him find it and take it back to the Fu Fighters' base.
Josh? How much of that potion can you make? I--I don't know.
A buttload? That'll do.
[dramatic music.]
Bambi, what are you casting? Tracking spell.
Then we'll know exactly where to find those Dave Grohl-wannabe bitches.
Gotcha.
The Fu Fighters' encampment.
Okay, guys, here you go.
Aw, it's a shame, isn't it, El? [sighs.]
Utter shame.
I mean, I can't be the one to sneak into the Fu Fighters' base.
Certainly not.
You don't sneak.
Mm-mm.
And you can't be the one to dump that potion into whatever disgusting stew they're cooking for dinner.
Sadly, no.
My eminence is too easy to spot from afar.
Hmm.
If only we had someone they'd never seen-- Guys, stop the bit.
I'll go.
Eternal glory awaits you, O Joshua of Yonkers.
Eternal glory.
You done? I'm done.
Great.
Here's your overdue book.
Now can you find me some shit to help with my hands, please? I will look for some thing to help you with that in just a moment.
Are you okay? [ominous music.]
Uh, hello? Uh, I asked you a question, man.
- Are you okay? - No! I can't control my look out! [tense music.]
No! [grunts.]
I can't stop! [zap.]
The card was cursed.
A Modus Hex.
It forces you to perform an action against your will.
Yeah, but that dude killed himself.
Okay? The hex didn't make him do that.
His name was Howard.
And if it wasn't for his bravery, the hex would have forced him to do something incredibly dangerous.
Open a door? It isn't just any door.
Then what is it? As a novice of The Order, there are many secrets that will be imparted to you when the time is right.
I just watched a man kill himself! What's behind the door? The Poison Room.
The what? It's where we store books too dangerous for the public.
I suspect Harriet's curse was an attempt to steal its contents.
Wait, Howard kamikazed himself 'cause someone wanted some banned books? That's pretty fucked up! What is fucked up is that there is knowledge out there so dangerous we need a Poison Room so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
That is why Howard sacrificed his life.
It's something all Librarians would do.
So he had to die to keep someone from getting their hands on what? Some crazy battle magic? There is knowledge behind that door, Penny, that could destroy more than just people.
It could destroy worlds.
The Tesla Flexion has only been successfully employed once before.
Luckily, we're using the original equipment, left to Brakebills by the man who invented it.
Nikola Tesla? No, Fred Flexion.
Okay.
And it's only been used once before because-- Three people died trying to shut it down last time.
What's the tent for? The Flexion is a fold between two different realities.
The tented area is where they cross over.
Now, Ms.
Wicker and I will work together to cast the Flexion, but if we hold it longer than two minutes, we will all die.
Well, don't sugarcoat it.
Quentin Get the answers that you need, and then get out.
Understood? And try not to touch anything in there.
Okay.
Why? Matter from different realities occupying the same space can create a paradox.
More like an explosion.
As well a mess of problems for the people who'd find what's left of our bodies.
Touch nothing.
Got it.
Dude, their shit was seriously jacked up.
Their K-holes were inside K-holes.
Does that even make sense? I'm just saying, the Fu Fighters are out of "comish" for the foreseeable future.
Your wedding may proceed apace, sire.
And you, good sir, may shave any nymph in the kingdom.
- Like right now? - Like right now.
You are my once and future king.
Just floating this: would it be weird if I fucked Josh? I certainly hope it would be weird.
To my quick-thinking Bambi, who saved the day again.
Speaking of saving the day, did you ever manage to talk to Fen? Um, yeah.
She's fine.
Good.
That's a relief.
Fen? Fen! [eerie music.]
I want to talk to you about the terms of our deal.
[whispering.]
Oh, shit.
- Shit, shit-- - You saw it? You saw it too.
Fen! [sighs.]
I'm not going mad.
Well no.
You're not.
It was a fairy, okay? Look, the day The Wellspring failed, I made a deal to save Eliot's life.
You did, too.
I don't understand.
You agreed to do whatever it took to save him.
But I didn't.
Well, you did.
What do they want? Your baby.
- What? - Fen I can stop this.
You better fix this, because I will not let them take my child.
Fuck.
[somber music.]
[low hum.]
[electricity crackling.]
Quentin? Is that you? You're in a Tesla Flexion.
I'm from another timeline.
We only have two minutes.
I need you to tell me everything you know about Shades.
It is you.
Another you--you're alive.
No, stop.
We can't touch.
I'm sorry.
We have to go fast.
I understand.
Um I'll tell you everything I know.
It's just I thought I'd never see you again.
The Beast, he-- he tore you apart piece by piece, but not just your body, but your--your Shade, everything.
My Shade.
Do you know where it went? I searched everywhere for it.
You can't rest in peace without it.
But there are no books on how to do so I traveled the world in search of anyone, anything, that could help me.
What did you learn? Shades go to The Underworld.
There's an Underworld? It's only accessible to the dead.
But there's a catch.
Alice, what happened to your hand? Doesn't matter.
It's the least I gave up to learn this.
[electricity buzzing.]
The living can access The Underworld with the help of a Gatekeeper.
- A Gatekeeper? - An ancient one.
A being older than the world itself.
Okay, how do you find one of those? [whispering.]
I don't know.
I'm still looking.
[low hum.]
- I have to go.
- Please, please-- just one more thing.
[loud buzzing.]
We can't hold it much longer, Quentin! I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Sorry for what? When you died, we weren't in a good place.
We were--we were fighting, and I was too proud to-- to let it go.
I don't know what that other Quentin felt, but in this world, I love you.
Okay.
No matter what.
I love you.
[gentle music.]
Yeah, but Harriet didn't know the guy was gonna kill himself.
Are you defending her? No, I'm just saying that she's not totally wrong.
The Librarians are hiding something.
Yeah, things that are insanely dangerous.
They could have good reasons.
Okay, and who the fuck are librarians to decide who gets what? Do you really want every Hedge Witch with a grudge and a bad idea to get a nuclear bomb? Fuck you.
I'm not talking about you.
Yeah, you are.
No, I'm not.
Think we might be too late.
Motherfucker.
No.
No, no [sighs heavily.]
[foreboding music.]
"The Ars Deicidium"? "The Art of Killing Gods.
" Eliot? Oh, thank God.
I don't know what to do.
Margo made a deal with the fairies and they're coming for our baby.
[gasps.]
A deal is a deal.
[crying.]
You've been staring at that page for an hour.
Oh.
I just keep seeing her face.
I get that you're hurting.
I don't know what to say to make you feel better.
It's okay.
I don't really want to feel better anyway.
[dramatic music.]
Maybe I better not show you this then.
I think I figured out what an Ancient One is.
No fucking way.