The Umbrella Academy (2019) s02e10 Episode Script

1
Your father is ready to
give the eulogy, children.
The world is full of injustice.
Good people die along with the bad.
This cosmic equation will never change
unless evil itself is
wiped from existence.
Thankfully, there are
powerful forces pushing back
against the wicked and iniquitous,
individuals who have the
strength to pull together
against insurmountable odds
to face adversity with
unblinking courage,
and not to hesitate to sacrifice
themselves for another.
Unfortunately,
none of you are such people.
Despite years of training
and weeks of preparation,
you allowed Number Six to die
on this mission.
- It wasn't our fault.
- Excuses?
I will not hear them.
The Umbrella Academy has
failed one of their own,
the consequences of which are dire.
Hold on to this feeling, children.
Let it fester in your hearts
so there is never a next time.
Training will be canceled today
out of respect for your brother.
We resume tomorrow at 6:00 a.m.
It wasn't anybody's fault.
How would you know, Vanya?
You weren't even on the mission.
- Nice going, asshole.
- What?
We were all thinking it.
Oh, so you're thinking, Diego?
That's a first.
- Screw you!
- Hey!
Dad was right. We should've done
more. This didn't have to happen.
Excuse me?
I couldn't do it all by myself.
You're supposed to be Number One
Klaus?
Where Where am I?
You're back in the land of the living.
It's been a total shitshow
since you died.
The family's a mess.
Listen, um I need to go back.
What? No. Why?
- You just got here.
- I know.
But there's a light, and
they told me to walk into it.
That thing? Pfft. Don't worry about it.
- You can go whenever you want.
- Are you sure?
Yeah, 1,000 percent.
Trust me, Benerino.
It's not goin' anywhere. I'm the
expert on the dead, remember?
Hey, wanna watch me
piss in Dad's gas tank?
Yeah, sure.
Authorities are asking
for help identifying
several persons of
interest at Dealey Plaza
at the time of the assassination.
The FBI believes they may
have been acting in concert
with the alleged shooter,
Lee Harvey Oswald.
Vanya Hargreeves,
wanted in connection with the
deaths of several FBI agents
inside the federal
building at Dealey Plaza.
A Cuban exile known only as Diego
- Cuban?
- who recently escaped
from the Holbrook Sanitarium.
A bare-knuckle boxer
with suspected Mafia ties
who fights under the alias "King Kong."
Allison Chestnut,
a Negro radical responsible
for instigating and organizing
the recent riots at
Stadtler's lunch counter.
And finally, Klaus,
the controversial cult
leader and known tax evader.
The FBI is asking the public
to be on the lookout for
this unidentified boy,
who they believe is being held hostage
by the suspected terrorist network
Well, it's true.
I do feel like I'm being
held hostage most days.
- God, I hate that photo.
- They're saying I instigated the riot?
- That's unbelievable.
- Look, the good news is
that we restored the timeline
and we stopped doomsday.
- So
- Yeah, a bunch of real goddamn heroes.
We let Kennedy die.
Yeah, and now we're officially the
most wanted people in the world.
The FBI is after us, the Dallas
police, the Secret Service.
It's only a matter of time
before they hunt us down here.
Well, where are we supposed to go?
I have this yurt just outside Reykjavik.
We could totally lay low there.
Folks there are a little
weird, but lovely.
- Hey, numbnuts.
- Welcoming
Hiding's not gonna make
a difference here.
The Commission will hunt us down
wherever and whenever we go.
He's right. They'll never stop.
I'm sorry, since when are you
an expert on the Commission?
Since I got back from there.
- What?
- Yeah, they headhunted me,
offered me a job.
Full time with benefits,
which I had to turn down.
They headhunted you
the village idiot.
What, am I not allowed to be headhunted?
Only the almighty Five
needs to be in demand?
Diego, you're not Commission
material, all right?
Got an obstinate nature to ya.
Who do you think it was that
figured out Vanya was the one
that causes doomsday and stopped it? Me.
- Hey!
- That's who.
I figured it all out on
the Infinite Switchboard.
- You were on the Infinite Switchboard?
- Hell, yeah.
I made that machine my bitch.
Y'all need to recognize
I got shit going on
y'all don't even know about.
- Oh, sorry. You've got things going on?
- This isn't helpful.
Look, I met the Résistance
in their secret lair.
All right? I went through orientation
and I passed and I stopped doomsday.
Sissy, why aren't you picking up?
Help me!
Harlan!
At least I wasn't busy
playing with myself
Can you dispense with the
dick-measuring for five minutes?
Unless you can literally,
'cause Ben and I
We don't have time for this.
The Feds could be here any minute.
That's what I've been saying.
- I'm agreeing.
- Okay, calm down, Hairy
Hey, it's King Kong.
And I'm sick of your ass, okay?
- Yeah, okay, you win.
- Guys, we need to move, okay?
That is more important here.
That is our only option.
We need to box those windows
- and stay here.
- I'm leaving.
What? To go where?
Sissy's farm. Something's
wrong with Harlan,
and I need to help him.
Vanya, we need to stick together, okay?
Now more than ever.
That's why I'm telling you this.
Whatever's going on with Harlan,
I think I might've caused it.
How?
He drowned, and, uh, somehow
I was able to bring him back to life.
And now it's like we're connected.
Wh What does that even mean?
I don't know. I can't explain, but
I know that he needs my help.
I need your help, too.
I'm scared.
And for the first time in my life,
I don't wanna do it alone.
I want my family by my side.
Look, I'm sorry.
We have other priorities right now.
Diego's right.
For once.
We need to make our stand here and now.
Okay.
I guess I'll see you when I see you.
So, so, so
Ben, huh? Gone forever.
Isn't he?
He traded his life for mine
while he saved the world in the process.
Pfft. Show-off.
But did he say anything about
me?
He wanted me to tell you that he
was too scared to go to the light.
It wasn't you that made him stay.
Oh, that little shit-heel.
All these years, and I
thought it was my fault
that he didn't take
his ticket to heaven.
Look, I'm sorry, but
you should get out,
- 'cause I need to
- Oh, no, I'm coming with.
I can't let you face the
unknown alone, right?
Got room for two more?
What about the Commission?
Well, might as well do some
good before we die horribly.
Whoo-hoo!
Oh!
Five, you you don't have to
I know. You owe me one, sis.
- Children ride in the back.
- Okay.
Whoa!
Oh, Christ.
Guys, I don't know what to say.
Anyone makes a fat joke,
and I'm outta here.
You think whatever's going on
inside is causing the cold front?
Well, the correlation is high.
- Sissy! Sissy!
- Get back!
- All of you, just get the hell back!
- Sissy!
Hey! Hey! What's wrong?
- Carl.
- What did he do to you?
He's
He's dead.
Harlan tossed him aside like a rag doll,
same way you sent those
policemen flyin'.
- What did you do to him?
- No
What the hell did you do to my son?
- Don't have time for this.
- Where you think you're going?
- To help your son.
- Look, Sissy, I found my family.
These are my brothers and my sister.
Ma'am.
Were you lyin' to me the whole time?
Of course not.
Look, I didn't know who I was.
But I do now.
And we are not the monsters
that they say we are.
We did not kill the president.
We are not terrorists.
We're not here to hurt anyone.
Then
who are you?
The only one who can help Harlan.
Harlan?
Harlan, it's Vanya!
Look, Harlan, I know you're really
scared, but I can help you.
I need you to listen to me,
okay? Can you do that?
Careful.
Harlan?
I don't know if you can hear me
Uh
- guys?
- What?
You don't have to do this!
- Ah, shit.
- What, who are they?
One's the Handler,
the other's Diego's girlfriend.
- Lila. That's my ex-girlfriend.
- What?
You know what? Doesn't matter.
They both look angry.
- Yeah.
- Our brother has that effect on people.
I'm gonna go find out what they want.
You guys stay with Vanya and the kid.
I'm coming with you, too. Come on.
Harlan!
Harlan, I can help!
I love the smell of
that fresh country air,
- don't you, darling?
- Makes me want to vomit.
What do you want?
- To watch you suffer.
- What about me?
You're not even worth my wrath.
Easy.
We're here on official business.
And what business is that?
As the head of the Commission,
I've decided to eliminate
the criminals responsible
for the assassination of the
former board of directors.
Yeah, right. We didn't kill the board.
Uh, actually, Diego,
that's not entirely accurate.
You didn't tell them.
Oh, Five.
What do you think they're talking about?
I don't know.
Which one's the girlfriend?
Five, what the hell did you do?
What I had to to get my family home.
Until somebody reneged on our deal.
Somebody wouldn't have reneged
if somebody could've
met a simple deadline.
- Alas.
- You set me up to fail.
You set yourself up to fail, friend.
You and your brothers and sisters.
Kinda the running theme
of your little life, isn't it?
Dude, I can't believe you
killed the board of directors.
You have no idea how messed up
the Commission is right now.
- Messed up? Who's saying that?
- Everybody.
Christ, even the janitors
think it's going to shit.
That's not all he killed.
What are you talking about?
Don't play dumb,
you prepubescent piece of shit.
Enough. The point is, all of you
are going to die today. Hmm?
Oh. Well, I don't like your chances.
Seven of us, two of you.
You know, you're right.
Let's change that.
Oh, my God.
So what do we do now?
Well, we got two choices: fight
and die now or run and die later.
- Either way, we're food for worms.
- Preference?
Wouldn't mind a few more
minutes breathing air
- through the old windbags.
- All right.
Let's get this over with, shall we?
Run!
Go! Go!
Harlan! Listen to my voice.
I know you don't want to hurt anyone.
Yes, Harlan. Harlan, listen to me.
Listen to my voice.
Harlan, you're okay.
You're gonna be okay.
You're okay.
Harlan!
Get down!
Whoa!
Sissy! Sissy, are you okay?
Yeah! But Harlan!
- Go check on him!
- What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna end this thing.
We're not gonna make it!
What are you doing?
- Five, I think I'm gonna puke.
- No time!
- What now?
- We blink into the house, man!
Okay.
- What?
- Shit, I'm out of fuel.
I'm too tired.
Go! I'll I'll cover for you.
- Diego, what are you
- Go!
Shit.
Whoa!
It's over.
How are they doing that?
Your turn, dear.
What the hell?
That's not normal.
Shit. Shit.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Catch me! Catch me! Catch me!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Oh, thank God.
Aah! Well done, darling.
Let me know when you've
killed them all, will you?
Okay, Mum.
Luther, you all right?
Oh, I think I swallowed my tongue.
Luther, if you swallowed your tongue,
you wouldn't be talking, you big moron.
Come on, on your feet.
Hey, what the hell happened?
- What was that?
- She must've redirected
- Vanya's energy wave.
- Yeah, I know, but how?
Luther, watch out!
Five!
Five!
What are you?
Someone who wants to kill your brother.
Well, that's understandable.
Diego can be a lot to handle.
Yeah, I was talking about Five.
Him, too.
But, unfortunately, they're family,
so you're shit out of luck.
How is this possible?
Gotta believe in yourself, big boy.
Luther! Luther!
Luther, Luther, Luther
are you okay? Hey!
Oy.
Hi.
- We haven't officially met. I'm Lila.
- Yeah.
It is so nice to meet you.
Yeah, I like you.
Is that the best you got?
- I heard a rumor
- you stopped breathing.
No! Allison!
No! No!
You gotta fight it. Allison, fight it.
Fight it. Breathe, Allison. Breathe.
Breathe. Shit. No, Allison!
- Breathe. Fight it.
- You looking for me?
Breathe.
You little turd.
Let's dance.
You can fight this. Breathe.
Breathe, Allison.
No.
Look at me! Breathe!
Breathe, Allison.
Breathe, come on.
Fight it, Allison. Breathe!
Come on, breathe.
Breathe, Allison. Come on.
Breathe!
Shh.
You okay? You okay?
I'm sorry. I had to do the thing
- because I Yeah.
- Shh.
- Okay.
- Allison, help!
Luther!
Oh, shit. Come on.
Careful, now, or you are
going to tire yourself out.
How are you doing this?
Oh, anything that you
can do, I can do better.
Is that you, Vanya?
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm his new mama.
Magnificent.
And you don't talk back.
I like that.
Help!
Vanya! Help!
Come on, man!
Hey!
What took you so long?
Well, we're here now.
Do you wanna stop complaining?
- Or we could just leave you here.
- What he said.
Does everything in this family
have to be a discussion?
Go, go, go, go!
- Are you out?
- Yeah!
- Team Zero! Unstoppable.
- All right.
- Uh
- Okay, has anyone seen Five?
I don't know, he's around somewhere.
By the way, your ex-girlfriend
can blink like Five.
Yeah, that bitch just rumored
me so I couldn't breathe.
And destroyed, like, half the farm
with a shock wave. So unoriginal.
If she can do everything we can,
she might as well just be one of us.
Yeah.
No.
No, there's no way. It can't be.
It's a reasonable conclusion.
Eh, but there were only seven of us.
Maybe we need to consider that
there's more of us out there.
Are we surprised?
Dad never told us the whole
truth about anything.
But she's not our biological sister
right?
Okay, so, if she can mirror our powers,
that means anything we throw
at her, she can match, right?
Yeah, but she can only mirror
one of our powers at a time.
You sure about that?
Harlan, my love
I can take you to a place where
you will be properly understood,
listened to, even without a voice.
I understand your kind.
Doesn't feel so good, does it?
I can tap into your potential,
and together, just the two of us,
we can do incredible things. Hmm?
Eat shit and die.
Come on. What are you waiting
for? Let's finish this thing.
No.
This isn't gonna be quick.
You are going to suffer
for what you did.
Lady, I got no idea what
you're talkin' about.
Ronnie and Anita Gill.
- Mean nothing to me.
- 1993, East London.
You hog-tied them and
you shot them in the head.
The flower merchants.
No, no! No!
They were your parents?
No, don't! No, please
And they never did anything to anyone.
They didn't deserve to die like that.
You're right, all right?
I killed them. But I killed a
lot of people over the years.
It was all just a job. All right?
That was never personal.
"Never personal," my ass.
Yeah, I've killed.
It's always, always personal.
That's why you're not cut
out to be an assassin.
- Bet your life on that?
- You wanna blame someone?
Blame the Handler, all right?
She faked the kill order.
Bullshit. I saw the kill order.
AJ Carmichael ordered it,
and you carried it out.
Lila, listen to what I'm
telling you, all right?
The Handler gave me the kill order.
She came on the job,
which she'd never done before.
You're Commission.
You know execs never go on jobs,
but that day in London, she was there.
- Ask yourself why.
- Stop trying to muddy the waters.
I never realized what she
was up to at the time, but
now it all makes sense.
What?
She never cared about your parents.
She was looking for you.
Why?
'Cause you're one of us.
The Handler stole you, Lila.
Just like our asshole
father took all of us.
- No. It's not the same thing.
- You're right.
Because he didn't have
our parents murdered.
Listen to me, Lila.
You were born October 1, 1989,
the same day as all of us.
- Stay back!
- Hey! Hey, stop! Wait. Wait. Hey!
- Lila? Lila, stop.
- I trusted you.
I got you a job, I even
introduced you to my mother,
- and then you took off on me.
- Because I needed to save the world!
She's using you, Lila.
The Handler.
You're wrong. She raised me.
- She loves me.
- Yeah, you know what?
Love shouldn't have to hurt this much.
- All right, I tried.
- He's right. We have to kill her.
Hey! Five! Five, stop.
I got it.
Hey, Lila.
Truth?
She's dangerous.
And you're scared of what she'll
do with all that new power.
That's why you dragged
me to the Commission.
Because I know what it's like
to love dangerous people.
Difference is
they love me back.
- Shut up.
- The only thing she loves is power.
Now, the minute she can't use you,
she will turn on you, and deep
down, I know you know that.
You don't know me, Diego.
Don't I?
I know that we can be your family
if you just let us.
Diego, no
Aww.
- It's true, what Five said, isn't it?
- Darling,
I need to know that
we can get past this,
be a happy family again.
Hmm?
They're my real family.
Do you even love me?
Qué será, será.
Oh, good.
You're still alive.
Lucky you.
You got to see how this all played out.
This doesn't have to be the end.
We use my ability to time travel.
You're the genius who
said we should jump.
Right? You're the one
who got us stuck here.
Maybe your appetite is disproportionate
to the size of your abilities.
Start small.
Seconds, not decades.
I know that we can be your family,
if you just let us.
It's true, isn't it?
What Five said.
Answer me! Is it true?
Well
- The case!
- No!
Enough.
Enough.
I almost had her.
Why the hell did you stop me?
Because
I love her.
Who the hell was that guy?
- Vanya! Help!
- Harlan.
Sissy?
Harlan? Harlan!
Whatever it is I gave you,
I can take it back, okay?
We just, we need to stop this.
Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Oh!
Yowza.
I should've brought my parka.
Yeah.
Oh, wow. Excuse me, pardon me.
- Ooh
- Watch your step.
- Herb. Dot.
- Sorry.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Sup, Herbie?
Hey! My man.
- All good?
- Good to see you guys.
I can't believe it.
Is she ?
- Really dead this time?
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh.
- Now that the Handler's gone,
what happens at Commission?
- Just tell them.
- Eh Well
we need to elect a new
board of directors.
But, until then,
I, um
I've been voted in as
acting chairperson.
No shit.
Congrats, Herbie. That's huge.
I'm so goddamn nervous.
- You'll do fine.
- Oh, thank you.
Herb, we need a favor.
- Oh, sure, anything.
- A briefcase.
Get back home, where we belong.
Take your pick.
Sissy?
We gotta get Harlan packed.
Hey. The sooner we leave,
the safer it is for everyone,
and we can figure out the
next steps from there.
We can't go with you.
Why not?
To the future?
Vanya, that's crazy talk. I mean,
what would that even look like?
Well, we could be a family.
I mean, just the three of us.
- We could have a whole life together.
- What about Harlan?
What if something happens to him?
And what if we're separated?
I can't risk losing him.
What if they, like,
blame you for Carl or
Vanya
I saw you.
Outside the barn.
I I saw you fl
float.
So, what, you're
you're scared of me now?
Is Is that what this is?
No, no. Scared for you.
Tell me we could have
a normal life there
and no one would ever come after us
for being with you like they did today.
I can't.
Vanya, I would do anything for you.
To protect you.
But Harlan has been through enough.
I can't I can't put that
child in any more danger.
I can't.
You have given me
the greatest gift of a lifetime.
You let me feel alive
for the first time.
You helped me find hope again.
That's a wonderful thing.
Where will you go?
I'm not sure. Um
I have, um
uh, a friend in California.
You go there,
and you live a beautiful
and wonderful life.
You ever find a safe way
back to me, you take it.
You hear me?
the crack of an assassin's bullet.
A nation mourns, the world grieves.
The man who became the 35th
president less than three years ago
is dead.
He led his country boldly
through the treacherous
shoals of Cold War crises.
His firm commitments
to support the cause of democracy
throughout the world
won him acclaim almost unprecedented
in the history of the presidency
Ray:
We should've known I'd find a
way to get the last word in.
The good news is
we did it.
The world is safe again.
But the president is dead.
And I am long gone.
I wish I could be with you
right now, in your arms.
I don't belong in 1963,
but my time here has changed me.
It's changed all of us.
I wish I could tell you it's
gonna be easier from here
but it's not.
It's going to get worse
Let's go, Marine. Get on the bus.
before it gets better.
So, I need you to hold on.
Hey, fellow traveler.
You need a ride?
Keep faith.
Believe that good things will happen.
Because the fight for a better world
is never over.
threats with such
firm shows of force
that Khrushchev backed down in Cuba
and softened the hard
red line on Berlin.
He brought to the White
House the vigor of youth
And we all have choices
to make.
And we have to live with
the consequences
before we find the right way home.
Everyone ready?
Let's do it, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
- All right.
- Wait!
Fifty bucks if we leave him here.
Oh, good God.
Wh What day is it?
April 2, 2019.
- Day after the apocalypse.
- Wait, so we stopped it.
- My God, it's over?
- Did we
actually succeed at something?
That's incredible!
Oh!
All right!
I don't know about you
guys, but I need a drink.
- Yes.
- In fact, I need several.
I'm in. I'm in.
- I should go find Claire.
- Oh, come on, one drink.
No
Why is there a painting of
Ben over the mantelpiece?
I knew you'd show up eventually.
Dad.
You're alive.
Why shouldn't I be?
Yeah.
Y-Yeah, you're right. I'm I'm
just happy that we're home and
together again.
"Home"? This isn't your home.
What are you talking about?
- This is the Umbrella Academy.
- Wrong again.
This is the Sparrow Academy.
Dad, who the hell are these assholes?
Shit.