Young Dracula (2006) s02e10 Episode Script

Happy Birthday, Ingrid! MUSICAL BOX TINKLES Robin, it's perfect.
Unlike you.
Next! Happy Birthday, Sis! "Peace, Love And Transylvania: How To Be A Happy Blood-free Vampire"! You haven't read it already, have you? Don't worry, I kept the receipt.
Presents?! Oh, the un-mortification! Vladdy, I've forgotten your birthday! MY birthday! My sixteenth birthday! Oh, nonsense.
If it was, the castle bell would be tolling to summon you for your vampire transformation BELL TOLLS LOUDLY I can't hear anything at all, can you? All right, so it's Ingrid's "special" day! Here, have a "vintage" fang brush.
- Is that it? - It's more than you got from your mother.
I see she couldn't even be bothered to show up.
Happy Birthday, darling! Mum! My first coffin! Just a little something from Patrick and me.
That's right, just waltz in and steal all the glory! Where were you when their nappies needed changing? Out.
Drinking blood.
With you.
Exactly! A shamefully irresponsible mother! Whereas I have done everything I could for this girl! So you've organised her "Coming of Rage" Party? - You have laid on someone to bite? - Of course.
- Robin, what are you doing this evening? - Erm - Pathetic! - Oi! No-one is biting anyone! Oh, you just try and stop me! - Ingrid, wait! - What? I just wanted to say - goodbye.
- I'm only gonna be in there two minutes.
- Yeah, I know but when Boris "changed", he became selfish and evil and Well, I'm already selfish and evil.
Only now I'll come with added fangs.
Come on then, let's get this party started! This is starting to get boring.
Great, now I'm talking to myself.
Patience Ingrid Bad things come to those who wait.
Oh, I look so evil.
Together we will bring darkness where there is light and .
.
death where there is life Bring it on! The breathers aren't going to know what's bit them! Hello, Ingrid, what a nice surprise! SHE SCREAMS Cool.
Wait, there's more - Will! - Hey, Ingrid! HE YELLS But that's my boyfriend! He's a breather, Ingrid.
Surely you wouldn't stoop so low? Back off, sister.
I decide who I go out with.
Call yourself a vampire? Don't you know the more powerful of the two of us will rule supreme? So I'll be making the decisions from now on.
And I say, - Will dies! - Over my dead body.
My thoughts exactly.
Open the door! Let me out! Don't do it, it's a vampire trick.
- Vlad! Help me! - There's no escape Ingrid! Vlad! Time for the old Ingrid to die! Vlad! Help me! Please! I, the son and heir of Count Dracula, order you to stand aside and open the door! Vlad! SHE SCREAMS, ROBIN SCREAMS Where did she go? I don't know but I'm coming, ready or not! Did you feel that? - Feel what? - Come on.
I am really proud of you both.
A whole month without saying the "V" word.
Yeah, and I feel, um, at peace with the world.
Er, me too.
So I shouldn't be worried about this then? - Ingrid's birthday! - She's getting her fangs! Jonno, tool up! - Today is a slay day! - Remember the mantra.
Sure as boy scouts sing round campfires, There are no such things as vampires, Drinking blood, the living dead, It's not for real, it's in our head.
Good! This is real progress! I think you're ready to move on to the next stage.
Oh, wicked! What's the next stage? Destroying all your weapons.
Shouldn't we be getting to school? Suddenly maths doesn't seem so scary.
Shhh! I don't know what it is, but there is something in here, I'm telling you.
Yeah, a sleeping vampire! No, something else - an evil presence.
- Oh, yeah! A sleeping irritated vampire! Hmm, the instincts are strong in this one.
SHE HISSES HE WHIMPERS Sshhh It's Ingrid! She's Gone! For the love of garlic! Gone to wreak havoc at school! Robin, she can't go outside.
She'll burn.
Not with sun block 75 , she won't.
Let's go.
We've got to find her! You know what, he's actually really superficial.
And his trainers are so last year.
Ow get out of my way! You, girl! No smoking! Happy birthday! - Whatever.
Have you seen Will? - Yeah, he just went That way.
SCHOOL BELL RINGS - Right, we'll meet up at break and destroy these.
- What if we need them? Jonno, we promised your mum.
So it's the birthday girl.
Or should I say birthday vampire? - Looking for your first victim to sup on? - Dad! The mantra! Sure as boy scouts sing round campfires, There are no such things as vampires, Drinking blood, the living dead, It's not for real, it's in our head.
That's it.
You're all right.
Give me the stake.
You two really are a couple of freaks! You're right, Dad, we need to get rid of these as soon as possible.
How's this, Mistress Magda? Fabulous.
Waaargh! What's going on here? I'm organising a party for Ingrid, seeing as you've completely failed to do so.
What sort of example is that for the kids? Says the woman who ran off with a werewolf! Don't forget the jelly and icicle scream, serf, and wake me when it's done.
You traitor! You're helping her make me look bad! Sorry, Master.
Have you tried saying no to her? Of course not.
I'm undead, not brain dead! I just wish I could be rid of her once and for all! I could always squirt garlic in her perfume.
- What? Kill her? Don't be stupid, Renfield.
- Oh, yes, even you aren't that evil.
Mistress Magda said the same thing only today.
Oh, did she, really?! - Where could she be? - I don't know.
Robin, this is a disaster.
We've looked everywhere.
Come on, I thought you were the clever one.
Think! Think! Maybe we should be looking for Will, not Ingrid.
- Maybe we should be looking for Will, not Ingrid.
- Will? That's who she's trying to find, isn't it? That's who she's trying to find, isn't it? Of course! Robin, you're a genius! Ah! All the weapons of the slayers I've defeated.
I knew they'd come in useful.
So you're gonna stick that great big stake in Magda? No, Renfield.
YOU are.
- Dad, we've got to get rid of them all.
- But this was - my first ever stake! Can't I just keep this one? - No! - We're destroying everything?! - Look, you said it.
If we're gonna keep Mum around, it's the only way.
Will! Happy birthday! Wait.
We need to talk.
About what? Are you dumping me? I'm leaving Stokely forever and I want you to come with me.
What? Where? - I don't know.
Look, meet me up at the castle at first break? - But Trust me please? No! Mmm, he looks good enough to eat You idiots! You've brought it with you! Brought what? That! Look I've got to go.
Promise you'll meet me later? SHE LAUGHS EVILLY Vlad, shouldn't the vampire be chasing us? But she's not a vampire, are you, Ingrid? You didn't go through with the transformation.
If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll - well, I can't bite you, but I'll do something evil! - I don't get it.
I thought you had to transform? I thought so too.
But there's a way out of it, isn't there? None whatsoever.
Run! So that's it, our slaying days are over.
Yeah, it feels good to be free.
SCREAMING Eeeergh, stake dust! - Ingrid! - You'll never get me! I'll fight you all the way to the grave! The garlic! Go, go, go! - They attacked us! - With garlic! The final insult! Well, it's lucky I didn't crush this little baby! Dad! The mantra! Sure as boy scouts sing round campfires, This whole school is full of vampires, Biting necks, inflicting pain, I will not rest until they're slain.
Dad! It's not working, Jonno! I need to slay! And they need to pay! ALARM RINGS Look, vampires aren't allowed to stake each other.
It's part of our evil code of conduct.
But it's all right for me to do it? Well, no, but at least this way, it'll be you they execute.
Ready? I can't do it, Master! I can't! Renfield, you big girl's corset! Give it here.
One, two, three, go So beautiful and yet so very cruel.
Argh! Magda! We were just checking to see you were OK.
How very thoughtful of you! Come now, let's not settle this with stakes.
You're right.
Renfield, get the pistols! ALARM RINGS Nice and calm now, nobody panic.
Going somewhere? I don't think so.
You, you, you.
Has she gone? Coast is clear.
- Aaaaaah! - Aaaah! What am I meant to be screaming at? Come out, come out, wherever you are Go! Hello.
We'll find you.
Go, go, go! Boo! THEY SCREAM Looks like this is the end of the line for you.
No! Stop! SHE HISSES (DEEP VOICE) I said leave her alone! What a time for your voice to break.
Can I come out now? So, at the request of the Stokely Fire Service, the school will be closed for the rest of the day.
KIDS: Yes! Ingrid's presents.
They're still inside! We might as well go home then.
Dad forget it.
We don't even have any weapons.
Apart from the ones at the HQ.
Oh, yeah! There's some real crackers in there! Well, I'm just going to - help the firemen.
- Yeah, I've got to go over there.
Hey, Will - Where are you two knuckle-draggers going? - Sorry? Oh, you will be bog-brain.
Oh, you will be bog-brain.
I'll take you and your ugly sister on any day.
Oi, you leave Chloe out of it! No, duh! He meant you! Paul! Don't do it, he's not worth it, bro.
How about you teach him a lesson he won't forget? Second thoughts.
Let's teach him a lesson he won't forget.
Vampires, choose your ammunition.
Ah, the old-style garlic bullets.
Didn't the Duke of De Montfort try and slay you with these? Yes, and he was a very bad shot, but a rather excellent dessert.
- Well, let's see how you fare with me on the menu.
- Right Erm, Vlad, your Mum and Dad are fighting.
Robin, they're always fighting.
Is this some sort of joke? Nice work, boys.
Now, let's go party! OK, very funny.
Jokes over! Let me out! So if Ingrid's reflection never finds her, she won't become a vampire? Exactly.
Which means there's still hope for me after all.
Oh, come on, Will, you're late! He is going to come, isn't he? Of course he is, he'd be mad not to.
And if he doesn't, you know where I am.
Prepare to be dust, you two-timing traitor! Eat garlic, you pathetic toad! Your skin is too pink! Your fangs are too short! You're so fat, we could carpet the castle with one of your enormous dresses.
Yes, and we could sandblast the stonework with a whiff of your wormy soil breath! I hate you! I hate you more! Fire! I haven't felt this undead for ages! You know Patrick's problem? He's just so nice! Not too early for the party are we? Ingrid! You have company! Will! Going somewhere, vampire? Oh, and by the way, you haven't seen me, all right? Jonno thinks I've given up.
I won't tell Mum, if you don't.
- You're making a mistake.
- I'm not a vampire! Only one way to find out for certain.
MOBILE RINGS Sorry.
Mina! We're fine.
Oh, you heard, yes, they've shut the school.
Slaying? No, of course we're not.
We're just in the car on our way home now.
IMITATES CAR ENGINE No, we're just at some lights, that's all.
Picking up speed now.
See you soon.
It's weird, but I'm kind of gonna miss those losers.
- Will? - Surprise! Happy Coming of Rage! Now let the party games begin! We've got a gatecrasher.
Who?! My reflection.
You didn't merge! Girls, they are nothing but trouble! Oh, typical, you selfish maggot! Thanks, Mum, you tell him.
I was talking to you! I promised your hand to Patrick's brother! He certainly won't want to marry you now! So that is why you're really here? You didn't think I'd come to see you? Well, thank you for ruining my marriage, again! Families, eh? Always there when you need them.
I don't need them.
I've got Will.
Oh, I think you'll find I've put that relationship on ice.
What have you done with my boyfriend? Be a good little girl and surrender your body and you'll find out.
This "little girl" doesn't surrender to anyone! - Now tell me what you've done with Will! - Never! Well, in that case you leave me no choice.
- Ingrid, what are you doing? - I'm taking control.
It's the only way I can win.
But I'm the powerful one! We'll see about that.
BOTH SCREAM AND STRAIN Ingrid? Is she dead? Not quite I just hope she's going to be a good vampire.
What with those fangs? She's going to be a really good vampire.
Thanks.
I thought I was going to freeze to death in there.
It's all right.
You're safe now