Alfred Hitchcock Presents s02e11 Episode Script

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
A special word to those of you who have been arrested while speeding home to see this show.
I can do nothing to bail you out.
And I'm afraid the magistrate is only slightly in my debt.
I shall, however, do everything I can to make you forget your troubles.
Tonight's narrative is about gangsters.
And I thought I'd best test some of the props.
I would like to play The Flight of the Bumblebee.
But we must get on with the show.
Uh King? Yes? Cutter's here again.
Well, have him come in.
Honest, boss, is that jerk really an eye? He's one of the best in town.
He just don't look bright enough to tail anybody.
Look, if I want your ideas, I'll ask for them.
In the meantime, tell him to come in.
Okay, boss.
Come on in.
How do you do, Mr.
Koster? Hello, Cutter.
Well, it certainly is a nice day.
Sit down, please.
Thank you.
My assistant outside thinks you're the kind of man who isn't bright enough to make a good detective.
Me? I disagree.
Thank you, Mr.
Koster.
You're an insignificant runt.
Yes, indeed I am.
Why, you're like a bug in a patch of grass.
No one would look at you twice.
Absolutely.
It helps me in my job.
All right, bug.
What'd you find out on this job? This is my first report.
Let's see it.
Oh, it isn't typed out.
I'll have to read it to you.
My handwriting isn't very good.
Go ahead.
Shoot.
"July 12th.
"Trailed woman to the zoo.
In the birdhouse " Birdhouse? She seems to like birds of paradise.
Yeah.
She likes birds, all right.
All kinds.
Go on.
"In front of a cage, she again met the same man "as she did yesterday in the bar.
"About 30.
Looks like a young professor or executive.
"Dressed conservatively, in a dark suit " All right.
Skip the coat and tie and come to the point.
"Followed couple out of the zoo to taxi stand.
"Woman got into cab and drove away.
"Trailed man to hotel lobby, "but lost him in convention crowd.
" This same man has now been seen half a dozen times with your wife.
Doesn't prove my wife's cheating on me.
It's just what the law calls circumstantial evidence.
True enough, but Why shouldn't a woman half my age have a man as a friend? You think I can't face the truth, huh? Mine is an extremely cynical profession, Mr.
Koster.
We always assume the worst.
It's refreshing to find a husband who refuses to make two and two add up to five.
Now, look, Cutter Now, you needn't try to convince me.
What if she has met this man? What does it prove? They went to the zoo a couple of times? So, she likes birds.
What if he did buy her a drink a couple of times? So, she likes a cocktail.
She didn't want to tell me about it, that's her business.
Isn't it? Yes.
Who is he? What's his name? What does he do for a living? Well, I wasn't able to find out yesterday when I lost him.
But believe me, I'll get a line on him the next time they meet.
Oh, you do want me to follow up, don't you? Of course.
Day and night.
Good.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Come in, Marian.
Meet Mr.
Cutter.
How do you do, Mr.
Cutter? It's a pleasure, Mrs.
Koster.
Well, goodbye.
Who was that? Oh, that's one of my accountants.
He's doing the books.
Oh, well, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Of course not.
You know I'm always happy when you drop in.
I was just in the neighborhood and I wanted to ask you Yes? Well, you remember Claire Bigelow? She was my dearest friend when we were in show business together.
Yes, I remember.
She married that car dealer in Cleveland.
Yes.
Well, she's been very lonely since he died I didn't know he was dead.
When did it happen? Oh, I thought I'd told you.
Two months ago.
So, she called me this morning and asked me if I'd come and visit her for the weekend.
I said I'd ask you.
Well, how long will you be away? Oh, just a couple of days.
But if you don't want me to go, dear No, it's all right.
Have enough money for the trip? Yes, plenty.
Thank you.
Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye? I'm only going to be away for two days, dear.
Louis, not so rough.
My hat.
It cost you $85.
Have I paid for it yet? Yes.
Goodbye, dear.
Bye.
Have a good time in Cleveland.
Baldy? Yeah? Come in here.
What is it? Pass the word along.
I want Harry Silver to get in touch with me.
Harry Silver? Yes, Harry Silver, you dumb ox! Harry Silver! Sure, but But what? But you've never given a job to anybody as big as him.
Who said I had a job for him? Don't you? Maybe, maybe not.
But if I do, I want the best killer in the business.
How've you been, Harry? Not bad, King, not bad at all.
Haven't seen you for a couple of years.
Where've you been? Here, there.
What's on your mind, King? I might have a job for you.
Don't your own boys carry guns anymore? I know this could be a very special job.
I wouldn't trust those morons that work for me.
It would have to be special if you'd be willing to pay my fee.
Oh, I'd pay.
Would you? I don't work very often these days.
But when I do, I come high.
I'll pay you $10,000.
It may go higher.
What do you mean? And to me, this is worth I'm not interested in what it's worth to you.
I'm interested in the job.
I fix my fee accordingly.
It may be more than 10,000 or maybe less.
I can tell better after I hear what it is.
More than 10,000? Sure, if I think it's worth it.
So tell me the story and I'll quote you my fee.
Like a doctor with an operation.
So much for an appendix, so much for an amputation.
It'll be a "take it or leave it" proposition, because I never bargain.
If you say, "Harry, it's no," that's okay by me.
Well, I understand your setup, but as I say, there is no job yet.
You mean, this is just a little social get-together? Yes.
Kind of.
You see, I'm not certain yet that I want anything done.
Well, that's not like you, King.
You usually know who's doing the dealing and how the cards are coming up.
Usually, yes.
Well, how come this time you goofed? Look, Harry, let's cut out this shoptalk, shall we? Let's have a drink.
All right.
For all I know, there won't be anything for you to do.
So, let's just have a friendly little chat, shall we? Fine.
You're looking good, King.
Kept your weight down.
I go to the gym a lot.
Over the rocks? Yeah.
See any of our old friends lately? No, not since I got into real estate, etcetera.
So, you're a legitimate businessman.
Mmm-hmm.
Yes, now I'm legitimate.
Since I last saw you, Harry, I got married.
Heard about it in Detroit.
My wife's 25 years old.
Oh? Yes.
I'm twice her age.
That could be good or that could be bad.
I've given her everything.
You were always generous with young chicks.
I made a will and left her all I have.
The house, the stocks, the money in the bank.
It isn't peanuts, Harry.
It's millions.
She can have anything she wants in the world.
Except one thing.
Another man.
I'm ahead of you now.
Well, don't be.
It might be just a false alarm.
You see, it's a matter of geography.
What do you mean? You know a detective named Cutter? No, I don't think so.
Well, it all depends on whether or not Cutter is in Cleveland.
And if he's not in Cleveland? Then, I'll have a job for you.
Painful or quiet? That's up to you.
You see, it's a guy and a dame.
Both? Both.
I hope that Cutter went to Cleveland.
So do I.
You know, King, if by any chance I have to do this job, the fee is going to be higher than you want to pay.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean? Don't get upset.
Well, why are you boosting your prices on me? Because I don't like killing women.
And then, for doing the job on two people, that means a knife, no noise.
All together, for old times sake, I'll let you have both of them dead for a real bargain.
Oh? What do you call a bargain? Now I have another reason for hoping Cutter doesn't have bad news for me.
Let's hope.
You know where to reach me, King.
Yes.
So long.
So long, Harry.
Go on.
Mr.
Koster? Yes? I did what you told me.
Well, what took you so long? She's been home since noon.
Mr.
Koster, your wife's girlfriend's husband All right, let's have it straight.
Well, he isn't dead.
And your wife didn't go to Cleveland.
All right.
Let's have the details.
Well, they aren't pleasant details, Mr.
Koster.
What happened? Let's have it! She met the same man in a bar on Carroll Street.
I sat in a booth behind them.
May I read what they said to each other? I pride myself on total recall.
What I am about to read to you is their exact conversation.
All right.
Spill it! Your wife: "Where will we go?" The man: "Anywhere, so long as you are with me, princess.
" Your wife: "I love the word 'princess' the way you say it.
" The man: "But you are a princess, in the kingdom of love.
" What's the matter with this fellow? Why is he talking that way? Well, he is that kind of a man.
Poetic.
Poetic? Go on.
Your wife moved closer to him.
And now the man says, "Shelley expressed my feeling "better than I can ever hope to.
" Who's this Shelley character? Well, he's a famous English poet.
He's been dead 100 years.
Oh.
Well, lucky for him.
Go on.
So the man quoted to your wife, "'The fountains mingle with the rivers, "'The rivers mingle with the oceans "' All right.
That's enough of that stuff.
Now, get on with it.
Then the man says, "Am I never to learn who you are, princess?" Then your wife says, "Let's not start that again, darling.
" She called him "darling"? The man: "I'm only human.
I've a natural curiosity.
"You walk into my arms out of the blue "like some goddess from a Greek myth.
" Is this fellow a Greek? No.
He's just being poetical again.
Shall I go on? The man: "Why can't I ever know who you are?" Your wife: "If I told you my name, you'd know who I was "because my father's name is famous.
" Her old man wasn't famous.
He was a junk peddler.
Well, your wife was lying.
I think that she meant you because Well, you are famous.
And I'm old enough to be her father, is that it? Go on, say it! Your wife: "Now stop asking questions "and take me somewhere where we can be alone.
" All right.
What's his name? Well, he rented a car under the name of Kenneth Jones, obviously a phony.
From my experience, I'd say that he's a teacher of English literature at the state college or something like that.
But don't worry, I'll get his name the next time.
There won't be a next time.
I'll take care of the professor myself.
Here's your fee.
There's a $50 tip.
Now, drop the case.
I don't understand.
I said, "Drop the case.
" Aren't you satisfied with my work? Yes, you did fine.
I just don't need you anymore, that's all.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, Mr.
Koster.
Let me talk to Harry Silver.
Harry? King.
Yeah.
I'll pay that 20,000.
Oh, hello, Mr.
Silver.
Yes, he's waiting for you.
Go right in.
I ordered this last week to surprise my wife.
Birds are stupid.
Yes.
Well, I got the report.
What's the story? Guilty.
Tough.
Looks like you're stuck with these birds.
Yeah.
When do you want me to go to work? Tonight.
Where will I find them? I have one of my boys tailing them right now.
Wait a minute.
Yes? Here? Wait downstairs for her.
Yes.
That was my boy now.
It seems my wife's paying me a little visit.
I'd better go.
No.
Sit down.
I want you to meet her, so that you know that you have the right woman.
Maybe Cutter was wrong.
No, Cutter wasn't wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong to trust that Louis, darling, I Oh.
Baldy didn't tell me you were busy.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
Come in, honey.
I want you to meet an old friend of mine.
Harry Silver.
Harry, my wife.
How do you do, Mr.
Silver? I'm very glad to meet you.
Louis, what beautiful birds.
You like them? Oh, they're lovely.
I love birds.
What are you doing with them? I got them for Baldy's kid.
Oh.
What's on your mind, honey? Well I'll wait outside.
No, Mr.
Silver, please stay.
I'll only be a minute.
Darling, I was feeling a little blue, so I thought I might buy myself something nice.
Something extra special.
Like what? Promise not to scold me? Buy what? You know that little red sports car, the one we saw? I remember.
Well, I know it's awfully expensive, but It's too expensive.
Oh? It's not like going out and buying a new hat.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
Just don't buy it.
I got you a new car only a few months ago.
Sure.
He's really the most generous husband in the world.
You're right.
It was just an idea.
Goodbye, honey.
Bye.
Goodbye, Mr.
Silver.
Oh, goodbye.
No wonder you're crazy about her.
She's beautiful.
Most beautiful thing in the world.
Harry.
Yeah? I can't let you kill her.
You've gotten chicken.
I'm crazy about her.
Can't blame you.
I couldn't live without her, no matter what she does.
You don't care if I change my mind, do you? No.
I'd hate to take something as warm as that and turn her into something cold and dead.
She's all I have.
What about the guy? Let him have it.
Where would I find him? I'll know by tonight.
I'll call you.
Okay.
Harry? Yeah? That brings it down to 10,000? Yeah.
10,000.
Well, so long, King.
So long.
And thanks.
This is Louis Koster.
Who's this? Look, that red sports car in the window, I want it.
Well, how much if I pay cash? That's all right.
Yeah, send the papers over to my office and drive the car to my home.
Yes.
Good.
Sorry to disturb you, King.
But I came back to say that I've changed my mind.
About what? I'm not gonna do it.
What do you mean? I'm not gonna kill that guy.
Why not? I'm just not in the mood to kill myself.
Not in the mood? What are you talking about? It's like the way you see a woman and the way I see one.
I don't follow you, Harry.
It's simple.
You just don't appreciate the wonders of a woman.
The way she's put together, the way she can love and hate.
You think that you can own a woman with money.
Well, it's not enough.
You just never learned the secrets of a woman in love.
"She walks in beauty, like the night "of cloudless climes and starry skies.
" So, you like poetry, too, huh? You wouldn't understand, King.
The only two things that a man should die for or live for are a poem or a woman like Marian.
Marian? You shouldn't have told me that you left everything to Marian.
Because instead of just $20,000, I'm going to marry a rich widow who loves me.
Don't try to reach Baldy.
He's outside with a broken neck.
No charge.
Listen, Harry Once, centuries ago, there was a French hoodlum called Francois Villon.
He was just like me.
A no-good crook and a killer.
But whenever he was in love, he'd turn into a poet.
He wrote some great things.
Just listen to this, King.
"When death, that cheater of cheats, comes knocking "and his voice grows near, "where are the snows of yesteryear?" Do you like that, King? Yeah.
Good.
Now I think I'll kill you.
To summarize the next reel, Harry did as he threatened, and Marian lived happily ever after.
She had a rich, full life.
It was too bad Harry was not there to share it with her, but, of course, crime does not pay, murder will out, etcetera, etcetera.
And now, good night until we again bring you a saga of suspense and or mystery.
Good night.