Batman (1966) s02e11 Episode Script

NARRATOR".
In Gotham City, when the social set goes diamond shopping there is only one place to go.
And that place is Harry Hummert's.
A veritable treasure house among the jewelers catering to the Gotham City elite.
Oh, what an exquisite clock, Harry.
I didn't see this when I was here last week.
Oh, actually Mrs.
Frontenac, I only acquired it yesterday.
It's a shop piece, not for sale.
- Oh.
-You wanted to see something in a set of diamond clips, didn't you? -Oh, yes.
Yes, I'd love that.
Perhaps one of these would please you, Mrs.
Frontenac.
Hmm.
Hummert would be astonished if he knew that the lens of a transistorized TV camera unit is hidden in that antique clock.
-Oh.
Control calling Second Hand.
Number 3 to Control.
Reading you.
The time is at hand.
Get ready to strike in 10 seconds.
We're wound up and ready, Control.
Stand by, Second Hand.
That's odd.
Shouldn't be striking the hour now.
There must be something wrong with the mechanism.
Such adorable cherubs.
Hummert's? Robbed? Broad daylight? Commissioner, did you hear the news? Yes, Chief O'Hara.
And ominous news, I'd say.
The knockout gas the criminals used came from an antique clock.
Then it's himself, that conniving crook who uses time for crime, the Clock King.
I fear we're in over our heads, Chief O'Hara.
I'll contact the Caped Crusaders at once.
One moment, commissioner.
I shall expedite his presence.
I don't pay enough attention to the two of you.
Oh, you do.
You do.
Just run along and enjoy yourself, Aunt Harriet.
We'll be fine.
Ha, ha.
Hmm.
- Check.
-Oh! - The Batphone, sir.
-Hmm? - The Batphone.
-Oh.
That was perfect timing.
I quite agree.
From what you say about the robbery at Hummert's it clearly indicates the modus operandi of Clock King.
Clock King? Apparently, Dick.
But this time, we'll bypass police headquarters.
What? When one is dealing with a villain like Clock King, one must use time wisely.
We'll go directly to Hummert's gem shop and try to pick up the lead from there.
To the Batpoles.
Excellent.
Every move right on schedule.
Just look at all these goodies.
You're marvelous, Clock King.
That, my dear, is because I plan every move like a timetable.
As my archenemies, Batman and Robin, will soon find out to their detriment.
Thinking.
Every minute, every second.
Thinking.
Men.
You've done well.
I'm proud of you.
Thanks, Your Highness.
Ah.
I see it is almost the hour.
Zero minus seven, six, five Here it comes again.
Three, two, one, zero.
Lovely.
Lovely.
What an exquisite, exciting rhapsody of sound.
Millie, back to your dusting.
Second Hands we have work to do.
That's all I know about it, Batman.
I bought the clock at the Parkhurst Galleries.
I go there nearly every week.
Every Wednesday, as a matter of fact.
Benson Parkhurst is an old friend of mine.
Obviously, Clock King learned that it was Mr.
Hummert's habit to go to that particular auction gallery.
And he had the clock put up for sale knowing he'd be sure to bid on it.
Thank you, Mr.
Hummert.
Come, Robin.
Let's pay a visit to the Parkhurst Gallery.
Men.
And Millie.
According to my crime table our next target will be the Parkhurst Art Gallery.
Gee.
After which, we will strike at the home of one of Gotham City's wealthiest young socialites.
No kidding, Your Highness.
A triple hit in a day? Another of my clever little clocks was bought by a dear old lady who lives in the home of a millionaire.
Then, after that pair of jobs I have a real coup in store.
In fact, it may well be the biggest clock crime of my distinguished career.
Biggest, Clock King? Your Highness, please don't hate me for mentioning them but what about Batman and Robin? Batman and Robin.
The nights I've lain awake, scheming, plotting my revenge against those flat-foot prints in the sands of time.
Those shadows on the sundial of true criminal genius.
However, if Batman and the Boy Blunder, ha, ha "Blunder.
" If they should attempt to cross my plans they'll find they're just in time to count their final seconds.
And when they do, I'll strike hard.
I'd be glad to help you in anyway, Batman.
Things are little hectic here today.
We're getting ready upstairs for our first Pop Art show.
We'll try not to detain you, Mr.
Parkhurst.
Do you recall the man who brought the clock here to be auctioned? The one Mr.
Hummert bought.
I'll have to consult the auction book for that day.
Now, let me see.
Oh, yes.
Here it is.
Now I remember him.
He was a heavyset man with a small beard and, urn, his name was Mr.
Chronos.
Chronos? - The Greek word for "time.
" -Correct, Robin.
Thanks to your diligence in foreign languages we can now safely assume that the mysterious Mr.
Chronos is actually Clock King in disguise.
Amazing.
The way you two figured that out.
I could have never done it.
Don't feel bad, Mr.
Parkhurst.
You haven't been trained in deduction as we have.
Come, Robin, we must be going.
We must find something that will give us a clue as to where our evil enemy, Clock King, will strike next.
I think I have an idea where we might find that lead.
- Where, Batman? -Dunbar's Drive-In.
Good afternoon, Gotham City viewers.
This is your roving TV reporter, Fred Forbes welcoming you to the What's New in Art? segment of our Gotham City report.
Coming to you today from the famous Parkhurst Galleries.
For years, the Parkhurst Galleries have been known for their exhibitions and auctions of art that have stood the test of time.
But now, Mr.
Benson Parkhurst, the owner of the galleries, has bowed to the inevitable and the galleries are having their first exhibit of Pop Art.
And it seems to be a hit.
- Out of the way.
Make way, please.
-Something that's not on the program.
- This way.
Careful.
Gently, gently.
-Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What is going on here? What's going on here, my dear sir is certainly not an exhibition of true Pop Art.
This way.
Out.
Forward.
Ah.
Inferior.
All definitely inferior.
- And just who are you, sir? -Heh.
I am Progress Pigment, the king of Pop Art and apostle of its culture.
A little more to the left, boys.
Now, I will let you have the honor of viewing my latest masterpiece.
Off.
I call it Time Out Of Joint.
- What--? -What is this? This is certainly an incredible machine.
- It is really a work of art.
-Get this junk out of here.
Junk? Do you realize what this is? You are looking at the symbolization of time.
Time, the ever-moving balance wheel of the universe.
Observe.
Everything will be all right.
Please, don't go.
Yeah, wait.
It'll be all right.
Hey, it's the Batmobile.
- Just look.
-I am looking.
And isn't Robin too much? At the risk of sounding naive, Batman how do you expect to find a lead to Clock King in this drive-in? At one point, in his sordid criminal career he had a feminine accomplice named Thelma Timepiece.
Oh, of course.
Welcome to Dunbar's, Batman and Robin.
What will it be today? We're looking for someone who might be working here.
Thelma Timepiece.
Oh, yes.
Thelma.
Sorry, Batman.
You can't win them all.
She quit last week.
I think she went back to her hometown in the Midwest.
But I'd be glad to take your order.
I am a little hungry.
Of course, Robin.
Even crime-fighters must eat.
And especially you.
You're a growing boy and you need your nutrition.
Hamburgers.
Medium rare.
May I recommend, Batburgers? Batburgers? -"Trouble stealing your appetite?" -"Arrest it with our new Batburger.
" I'm honored by this tribute, miss.
Two Batburgers, medium rare and two glasses of orangeade.
Uh, doubles.
Turn on the Bat-scope, Robin.
Let's see what's on the Gotham City TV news report.
FORBES".
There it is, folks.
An uninvited entry here at the Parkhurst Galleries.
As you can see, the artist Progress Pigment has his contraption working.
And the only word to describe it is "wild.
" He even has a name for it: Time Out Of Joint.
Time Out Of Joint? - Time? Do you suppose--? -If only we could only get a closer look at him.
FORBES".
We're going to bring Progress Pigment in for a closer look.
I want all you folks to see a most unusual artist.
Progress Pigment? The beret, the beard, dark glasses.
There is a way we could make sure.
The Bat-photoscope.
Sure.
It'll activate the microfilm crime file in the Batcave and transmit a normal photograph of the Clock King to us here.
Yes.
Ah.
How does it look, Robin? Holy masquerade.
It's Clock King.
- Miss? Would you take our baskets, please? -Oh, sure.
Men, the hour is at hand.
- It worked.
-Naturally.
Few people can stand the vibrations of supersonic sound.
Now let's get what we came after.
That fool, Parkhurst.
The sound of this mechanical sculpture covered up the buzz of the saber saw as it was cutting through his stronghold.
And right in front of his eyes.
Ah.
Here it is.
My favorite clock masterpiece.
And now it's mine, all mine.
Come, my good Second Hands.
Careful with it.
Careful.
Careful.
Ah.
Right on schedule.
We've completed another foolproof crime.
Let's go.
You can only fool some of the people some of the time, Clock King.
Batman and Robin.
At them, men.
I'll give a personal bonus to the first man who knocks out Batman.
Four against two.
I would say that the odds are in our favor, Robin.
Come on.
Fight, fight.
Go.
Wait.
This valuable painting might be damaged.
Isn't it beautiful? Please, let me put it down so it won't be hurt.
Agreed? Agreed.
I seem to have hurt my wrist a little bit.
Just give me a moment.
Anytime you're ready, Clock King.
Just give me a minute.
A minute to touch my counterattack activator.
Holy mainspring.
I can't move.
Perhaps I should've titled my creation: The Dynamic Duo: Caught in the Coils of Time.
The cops.
That'll be Chief O'Hara.
I contacted him with the mobile Batphone on the way here.
I'll have you free in a jiffy, Robin.
Batman.
Dynamic Duo, are you all right? Yes, Chief O'Hara.
Only our pride has been hurt.
Clock King and his cohorts escaped.
Robin.
Look.
Clock King dropped one of his watches.
He must have accidentally dropped it when he massaged his hurt wrist.
And it's not the seal type, either.
Quickly, Robin, to the Batcave.
I want to examine this watch carefully.
According to the Bat-chemical Analyzer the dust in Clock King's watch contains aluminum oxide.
- Is that important? -indeed it is, Robin.
Aluminum oxide is used in the manufacture of synthetic gems.
I still don't get it.
How does that connect to Clock King? It's obvious, Robin.
Synthetic gems are widely used in jeweled watch movements.
- Holy sundials.
Then you mean-- -Exactly, Robin.
Clock King's hideout is-- ls a place where they make synthetic jewels for watches.
We'll just feed the necessary data into the Batcomputer.
Well, this has to be it, Robin.
"Tick Tock Synthetic Rubies incorporated.
" According to this card, that firm went out of business four months ago.
A wise idea to make a surprise entrance through the rear of the building.
Wiser yet, old chum, if we make it up the outside of the building.
This should be good practice if something ever takes us to Mount Everest, Batman.
I think we'll be confining our campaign against evil to Gotham City for some time to come, old churn.
It needs us.
Hey, Batman and Robin.
- What are you guys doing? -Just routine crime-fighting.
Would you like to come in? I'm rehearsing.
Thank you, citizen, but our pursuit of justice allows us few diversions.
- Be seeing you.
-Bye, Robin.
Hey, you guys come and catch my act sometime.
I dig yours.
All right, fellas, one more time.
From a whip-or-will Ha, ha.
Welcome.
I've anticipated your visit.
That's why I coated that section of the floor with super slick watch oil.
Second Hands.
Batman we're inside a giant hourglass.
You grinning devils.
Looking for your utility belts? They're over here.
Naturally, I removed them to prevent your escape.
Batman.
Sand.
It's starting to pour down.
Your Highness, your alarm is ringing.
I'm well aware of it.
Well, Dynamic Duo, we'll have to leave now if we're to keep to our timetable of crime.
We certainly don't want to disappoint Mr.
Smith, do we? After all, he's going to be of invaluable help to us at exactly 5:00 this afternoon.
Some people kill time.
But this time, time is going to kill you.