Big City Greens (2018) s02e11 Episode Script

[theme song plays]
One, two One, two, three, four ♪
[vocalizing]
[chicken clucks]
Gah! Whoa! [grunts]
Upsy daisy, Gramma!
C'mon, family!
Follow the sound of my voice!
[Gramma] Where the heck are you takin' us?
This way now, not much further!
[Cricket] OK! Take off your blindfolds!
[gasping]
Welcome to the best
family eatery in Big City!
Crispy's!
[folksy music plays]
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
Isn't it wonderful?
Yes, but what are we doing here, brother?
We're eatin' dinner! And I'm buyin'!
Tonight we feast like kings.
-Wow!
-Well, hot chow!
Table for five please, Madam-gazelle.
Sure thing! We'll buzz you
when your table's ready.
I'm sorry, did you say
you're buying dinner?
Well, yeah. Every kid dreams
about taking their family
out for a nice meal!
But no ordinary kid can pull it off.
Fortunately, Cricket Green
ain't no ordinary kid!
-You got that right!
-You got that right.
Well, I don't care who's paying for dinner
as long as it ain't me!
That's mighty kind of you, brother.
-[buzzing]
-Huh?
It's a bomb! Hit the deck!
[buzzing]
Oh, hello, you must be my table for five!
My name's Gina, and I'll be your waitress.
But think of me more as your friend!
Well, lead the way, Gina ol' pal.
Hey, wait! Am I really
the only one who thinks
Cricket paying for dinner is,
heh, completely weird?
[all] Yep!
Good. I'm glad I'm the only one
who feels this way.
So, what can I get you today?
Look at all the choices!
With all these options,
we'll never decide!
We don't have to decide!
We'll order it all!
Gina, put us down 15 racks of ribs,
three dozen chicken tenders,
five crispy chocolate milkshakes,
a kiddy pool of popcorn shrimp,
four dozen crispy eggs,
scrambled and dry, please.
And what the heck,
a trough of crispy seasoned French fries!
Anything else for ya?
You want something special, big guy?
I'm not hungry.
Interesting because am I wrong,
or have you been staring at that bacon
cheeseburger since we sat down?
It has caught my eye.
And this guy will
have one bacon cheeseburger!
What, no! Cancel that!
No bacon cheeseburger!
Aw, he's just fussy
'cause he hasn't eaten yet.
-He'll take two!
-Cricket, stop!
Three it is! Wanna go for four, mister?
This doesn't make any sense!
We can't afford all this food!
How could Cricket pay for all of it?
Hey, are you going
to be like this all night?
Cricket's trying to do something nice.
Can you get on board?
Thank you, Mother.
[sighs] You're right.
I'm sorry, son.
I'll take one bacon cheeseburger.
All righty-tight-tighty then!
Your food will be out in a jiff!
There we go. Enjoy yourself!
Hear hear for Cricket!
Provider of crispy foods and goodwill!
-To Cricket!
-To Cricket!
To Cricket!
Ah, what the heck. To me!
-Ha ha!
-OK!
[munching]
[exclaiming]
[exclaiming]
-[Cricket] Oh, wow!
-[Bill burps]
What a meal!
I'm in a world of shrimpy bliss.
And how's this all tasting, friends?
It tasted great!
But you already knew that,
didn't ya, Gina, you sly dog!
Anybody in the mood for some dessert?
Oh, dessert sounds good.
What do y'all say?
I couldn't eat another bite!
I'm gonna have to pass on the sug', sug'.
Boy, y'all ate so much,
it looks like you forgot
to save room for dessert.
Heh heh. Uh, hey, Gina.
[whispering]
Oh! You got it! Coming right up!
What'd you order, son?
Oh, just a li'l ice cream.
That sounds excellent, brother.
I hope you enjoy it.
[thud]
Well, I hope we all enjoy it.
We're gonna have to.
Whaddaya mean by that, son?
-[lights click]
-[rhythmic clapping]
Yippie yippie hoo-ray
It's too good to be true ♪
The Crispy's Sundae Challenge
is on its way to you ♪
-Here's a little secret ♪
-You didn't hear from me ♪
If you beat our challenge
Your family eats for ♪
[harmonizing] Free, free, free ♪
[deep voice] Free! ♪
Family eats for free?
What did you do, Cricket?
Settle down, Dad, it's really not a big--
[rapping] Brace yourselves
'Cause this challenge is cold ♪
Fifty pounds of ice cream
in a plastic bowl ♪
Whipped cream, bananas
And a mountain of dairy ♪
-Ya gotta eat it all ♪
-Yeah, even the cherries ♪
Only one hour to devour the 'dae ♪
So you better scarf it down
If you don't wanna pay ♪
Alrighty, and your one hour starts now.
Enjoy!
Mmmm, welp! Let's dig in!
Come on, Dad, you can't eat ice cream
without a spoon.
This is how you were
planning on paying for everything?
Cricket, if this was your plan,
why didn't you tell us?
We're too full!
Well, I didn't want you
holding back on dinner!
Besides, there's
always room for ice cream!
Now I've heard enough of this.
I'm just gonna pay for dinner
and get us out of this.
Cricket, where's my money?
Well, I knew you wouldn't go
through with my brilliant plan
to treat y'all if you knew all the steps,
so I replaced all your money
with Cricket Bucks!
They have no monetary value.
Boy, have you lost your mind?
All we have to do is eat some ice cream.
Ice cream's not a problem, it's a treat!
Looks like Cricket's left us
with no other option!
So we're gonna have to eat
our way outta this mess.
That's the spirit!
All right, everyone, dig in.
I've found with a slow
and methodical approach
any challenge can be overcome.
It won't work, Tilly!
We gotta eat fast, too!
Oh, right!
Hm? B-b-brain freeze!
Forget the spoon. I only require my fists!
Yah! Yah! Yah!
There ain't a frosted treat in the world
too tough for Alice Gree--
-Aaaah!
-Yeah, I'm out.
Ugh, I need a breather.
OK, just means more for me!
Ahhhh-- Huh?
[thinking] Huh. That's odd.
My body can't seem to eat
any more ice cream.
Hmm. If we can't finish
all this ice cream,
that means I didn't actually
treat my family to a meal.
Hmm Oh! Gina!
Gene-meister! Gina-tina-bobina.
Hey, since we're friends,
you're cool with cutting us some slack
on this challenge, right?
We don't need to eat it all.
No one is exempt
from the Official Crispy Rules.
But you're just saying this
as a formality, right, buddy?
[menacing] No one breaks the Crispy Rules.
[nervous chuckle] Yeah, I know.
Just seein' if you knew.
OK, have fun.
Yeesh. Some friend.
[Tilly] Cricket?
Were you talking to someone?
I can't hear anything on account
of Gramma's moans of agony.
[mumbling moans of agony]
Oh, curse this Crispy's Rule book!
[gasp] Rules! That's it!
If there's this many rules,
there's bound to be a loophole somewhere!
Let's see, let's see. A-ha!
"If the sundae is contaminated,
then it must be thrown out!"
-Bingo bango!
-[fly buzzing]
[menacing giggle] Perfect.
[fly] Aaaahh!
Yes! I mean, uh, excuse me, Gina!
I'm oh so afraid that I have found
a fly in our sundae!
Hmm. Yes, this sundae is contaminated.
-I'll take care of it right away!
-[snaps]
Hup hup hup hup!
Hup hup hup hup!
I can't believe it, we're freeee!
-[rhythmic clapping]
-Huh?
A fly died in your sundae ♪
But stay right where you're sitting ♪
We're gonna start your challenge ♪
Back at the beginning! ♪
You see, when a Crispy's
Sundae Challenge has been contaminated,
it is immediately replaced
with a new sundae.
Sorry for the inconvenience, sir.
Here's a coupon for 5% off
your next meal at Crispy's.
That's it. I give up.
-Yep.
-I can't do this, either.
Son, I'm disappointed in you.
Wait! Sure, my plan was stupid,
and I'm sorry for that,
but I just wanted to treat
my family to a free meal!
Isn't that a nice thing?
You call this a nice thing?
Everybody's miserable!
Don't throw up, don't throw up.
[gagging]
C'mon, Gramma, let's go.
Just leave me here to die.
This is all because
you tried to take a shortcut,
but there's just
no such thing as a free meal!
Speaking of which,
I'm gonna go talk to the manager
and figure out how
we're gonna pay for dinner.
Dad, I--
Cricket, nice things
in life must be earned.
How will you earn this?
How will I earn this?
Come on, champ,
you'll never finish in time.
Throw in the towel.
Uh, did you hear me, bucko?
It's quittin' time.
-No!
-Wha-whuh?
I came here to give my family a meal.
And now it's time to earn it.
Yaaaah!
Hyah!
[loud chomping]
Look at him go!
What do you mean you don't have money?
You're a bank!
Hey, would you be interested
in purchasing this fine leather jacket?
Or how about a motorcycle? Or my trailer?
I've got a real nice trailer!
Fancy these teeth, young man?
One of them is gold.
It's useless.
[customers, chanting] Eat that cream!
-Eat that cream!
-What is that?
-Ooooh!
-Wow!
Excuse me, pardon me.
Now what in the world is-- ?
No, it can't be.
Is that Cricket?
[chomps, groans]
That boy is destroying himself!
Son, you don't have to do this!
Yeah, we'll find another way!
Kid, listen to your family!
If you explode, it'll be horrible
publicity for Crispy's!
I'll knock 50-- No, 75% off your meal
if you stop right now!
[grunts] My. Family.
Eats! Free!
Aaah yaaah!
[ethereal singing]
[chomp]
-[cheering]
-You did it!
It it's not possible!
No one's ever finished
the Crispy's Sundae Challenge!
Yeah!
Cricket!
Easy, easy now. We got ya, son.
[groans]
Well, now we got ya!
Cricket, I have to hand it to ya.
You really earned that meal.
Ya done good, boy!
You really pulled through, Cricket!
You're my hero, brother.
Eh, thanks, everyone.
And I'd just like to say--
[belching]
Heh, s'cuse me.
Just a couple more pieces oughta do it!
Ahh. C'est magnifique.
Hey, Tilly, have you seen my slingshot?
Whoa! Tilly, what the heck is that?
-[hair dryer whirring]
-This, dear brother,
is "Potato Papa!"
It's my gift to Papa for Father's Day.
Father's Day? Oh, dang, that's today?
I totally forgot.
[stretches] Well,
guess it's time to whip up
the ol' Cricket standard!
Oh, Cricket, no. Please don't tell me--
[muttering]
And now, with nothing but a pen
and these gently used napkins,
in less than 15 seconds,
I will have the perfect
Dad present.
Voila! Cricket Coupons!
Let's do the standard one free hug,
20% less whining for an hour, and
Aw, what the heck,
Dad never cashes these in, so
I will paint the whole house.
Cricket! Those coupons
are not a real gift!
While I'm normally not inclined
to toot my own horn--
-[snickers]
-I am an expert on giving great gifts.
A real gift shows someone
how much they mean to you.
That's why every Tilly gift
takes time and effort.
And it's also why Papa always loves 'em!
Aw, Tilly, Dad loves your gifts
'cause he loves every gift!
Even the ones that take
ten seconds to make!
Well, there's no way you're gettin' away
with that again this year.
After all, you're not as young
and adorable as you used to be.
I beg to differ!
Tilly, trust me, you're working too hard.
Dad's gonna react
just the same way to my gift
as he does to yours.
Oh, brother, you could not be more wrong.
Could you wrap these up for me?
[documentary narrator]
After a long day of lying in the sun,
the iguana finally decides
to make its rest.
But what's this?
Ah, it's a cute little spider!
[stuttering] Spider!
Oh! My goodness,
it's quite upsetting up close.
Aah! [panting]
OK, Bill, say the poem.
One two three, spiders don't scare me.
Four five farden,
they're good for your garden.
Get ready for the best
Father's Day ever, Billy Boy.
'Cause this year, your Ma's gettin' you
a card!
Nothin' too fancy though.
[both] Happy Father's Day!
[chuckles] Oh wow! No way!
Ha ha! What?
-You're welcome.
-This one's from me!
Aw, would ya look at that.
Wow! It's, uh, me!
[chuckles] I do make that face a lot!
Tilly, I love it. Thank you.
That must mean this one's from Cricket.
That's right! Hope you like it.
[thinking] Come on, Papa,
see that gift for what it really is.
A buncha dirty old napkins
thoughtlessly covered in empty promises.
Here it comes.
Cricket, I love them.
Thanks, you two! You kids are the best!
Aw, you too, big guy.
Also, this does count as your free hug.
You guys sit tight.
I'm gonna find a good place to put these.
OK, Dad, buh-bye!
Well, Tilly, let's hear it!
That classic radio hit
"You were right, Cricket."
What are you thinking about?
-I see what's going on here.
-Hm?
Cricket, Papa was lying
to you about liking your gift!
Ha ha! What're you talking about?
Dad is the most honest guy we know!
No, Cricket. I know Papa is lying
about liking those coupons.
And I know how we can prove it.
All right, sister, I'm in.
Let's prove once and for all
that Cricket is brilliant!
-Pssh! We shall see.
-We shall see!
-Yes, we shall.
-We shall.
[humming]
-[Cricket and Tilly] Ahem!
-Hmm?
Oh, hiya, kids!
Is this for me?
-Yes.
-Yes.
Huh. Fun!
Well, mm-hmm, beautifully wrapped kids.
Oh! Uhh
It's a sweater.
[harsher] It's a sweater.
We made it, Papa.
Yeah, it's two kitchen towels,
a pair of sweat bands and some striiiing.
[sniffing]
We did not wash the kitchen towels.
Hm.
[Tilly] And how do you
feel about this gift?
Well I love it.
Thank you, kids.
[kisses]
[humming]
Hm! [groaning]
Tilly wins!
I made Papa a terrible gift,
and he lied about liking it,
just like he lied
about your Cricket Coupons.
He was just being nice to you, brother.
Mm, I dunno.
Dad's still wearing that thing.
Maybe you're just really good
at making stuff for him!
Hmm, you might be right.
Curse my natural talents!
We need to step it up.
I know a present
that Papa could never love.
-Oh, no, not
-Yes!
We can't do that to Dad. He birthed us!
We have to, Cricket.
I have to prove
that I'm the greatest gift giver
the Greens have ever seen!
OK.
[Gramma mumbling]
I can't believe this! Blech!
[muttering]
What's this one? Hmm
"Happy Father's Day to a loving"
Blech!
[grunts]
Where are your cards that don't stink?
[frightened gasps]
Ha! OK.
Good, good.
-[Card playing "Barry-cuda"]
-No!
[grunting]
One potato, two potato,
three potato, good enough!
Uh ma'am? You have to pay for that.
Oof!
[Bill humming]
[Cricket and Tilly] Ah-ha-hem!
Hi, kids! Another present?
-Yes.
-Yes.
You kids are super!
Three gifts? This truly is a Father's Day.
Now let's see what this one is.
[blood curdling scream]
[bleating]
[stuttering] Spid--
Spiders. You're deathly afraid of them,
but isn't the opportunity to overcome
your fears an excellent present?
What I'm really asking is,
Papa, what do you think
of this heartfelt gift
from your loving children?
Thank you, I love it.
-Honest?
-Yeah.
Well, if you love them so much
[whispering] I do.
Then kiss one of them.
[whimpering]
[kissing sounds]
No! I hate it!
I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!
I knew it!
Papa, you lie about bad presents!
I don't know what to say, kids.
You're right, I wasn't truthful.
I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me?
Forget about it!
I knew everything.
I just needed to prove it
to my baby brother here.
Yeah, that's why we've been
givin' you all this weird stuff.
Yeah, it was a test.
A test?
Ha ha, wow, you two banana nuts!
That explains it!
These terrible gifts! The spiders.
-Mm-hmm.
-This sweater.
Mm-hmm.
That weird popsicle stick thingy.
Mm-h-- Weird popsicle stick thingy?
Wuh? [gasp] Hmm!
You guys got me good!
I mean, look at this guy!
[chuckles] Weird.
[dizzy moaning]
Yes weird.
Well, this has been a really fun
and interesting Father's Day.
Come here you!
[woozy muttering]
I'm tired, so I am going to bed.
OK, sleep tight!
Ha! She's a good kid.
[Cricket]
Cricket is smarter than Tilly, oh! ♪
Cricket is smarter than Tilly! ♪
Da-da ba-da ba-da ba-da ♪
Oh, Cricket was right about Dad ♪
Oh! Tilly, what happened to you?
Oh, hi, Cricket, yeah, I'm in mourning.
In mourning for Tilly.
Did you color your dress
with a black marker?
Cricket, you've been right all along.
Nice.
It doesn't matter how much I try.
I'm the worst gift giver in the world.
I'm awful!
Oh. Uh, no. Hey
Hey, come on now
Kiddo.
And Papa's been lying to me
for years about it!
The turkey jerky necktie,
the jug mug,
the boot vase, the boot vahze,
the jellybean frog,
the corncob reading glasses.
And every time, every single time, it's
"I love it."
"I love it."
"I love it."
Lies! All lies!
And all the terrible gifts
I've ever made are still out there.
[gasps] Cricket, this cannot stand!
I must right this wrong!
Sounds like she's gonna be juust fine!
[grunting]
Tilly theft.
[narrator] There's not
enough gazelle to go around,
but like any good family,
the hyenas have learned to share.
[shuddering]
Made it! Go Gramma.
Guess I should see which card I grabbed.
"With deepest sympathy.
So sorry for your loss."
Eh. I can work with that.
Now, that is how you build a dam.
Quit talking to yourself! Here's a thing.
Hm. Huh! That's certainly me!
Oh, very abstract!
"Dear son, you're a good Dad.
I'm proud of you."
Aw, Ma, you're the sweetest!
-Come here!
-[crunch]
Oh, no! Did I hug too hard?
Don't insult me, boy. This body is cut!
I believe the disturbance
came from outside.
Hmm.
[gasp] Tilly!
What the heck are you doing?
I'm sorry, Papa.
I should have done this a while ago.
-[Tilly grunts]
-[jug shatters]
But sadly, I was oblivious
to the crumminess of my gifts.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Wait! Oof!
[gasp] Sorry about that!
Oof. Ahh
Heh heh, barely felt it!
[groans]
Sweetie, your gifts aren't crummy.
I really do like your presents.
I don't always understand 'em,
but I do like 'em.
But why should I try
to make something special
if you like 'em just the same
as Cricket Coupons?
Gift giving isn't a competition.
We give gifts so we can
share a bit of ourselves.
For you, that means sharing something
thoughtful, sweet, and original.
Because that's who you are.
Also, I like that your gifts often have
an excellent use of craft materials.
Mmm. Can you keep making me
Tilly gifts? Please?
-OK.
-Yes!
You know, all this talk of
Cricket's Coupons reminded me.
I've been holding onto these for years.
What say we cash some in?
Papa, I would love nothing more.
[laughing]
Uh-oh.
I've got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got bit by 100 flies ♪
I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by a dog ♪
Licked by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my legs ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters in seven and ten ♪
And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪