Dawn of the Croods (2015) s02e11 Episode Script

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [Grug.]
Hunting: smiley face.
Gathering: smiley face.
Not Dying: smiley face.
You're doing great in school, Eep.
Oh, and a smiley in grunting.
[clears throat.]
[grunting.]
Uh, it's a dead language, I'm telling you.
Thunk, where are your marks? [chewing.]
What marks? [chewing, grunting.]
[gagging.]
[choking.]
Oh, Thunk, I'm sure it's not that bad.
[screams.]
How could you have gotten an "incomplete" in Not Dying? I really tried to die.
I did.
I'm just I'm no good at anything.
[shrieks, grunts.]
You're good at hurting yourself.
[sighs.]
Honey, you'll find something you're great at.
Someday.
Don't ask when.
But tonight, as a reward for Eep's great marks, how 'bout we all go to the Laughing Pit? Amber's doing that whole "telling jokes" thing that always cheers us hunters up when someone moves away into the belly of an animal.
Eh, I also failed at cheering up.
What? That can't be wow.
Didn't even know that was a subject.
Uh, let's go.
[crowd laughing.]
Why did bear owl cross valley? To get to other side and eat family.
Amber says what I only think.
[sighs.]
Glad you like it, because I don't get any of it.
What? Amber's hilarious.
Do you got something in your ears? Just the usual protective gunk.
Now, see, Mom, it's funny because bear owls do eat families.
- [laughs.]
- [chuckles.]
I understand Amber's jokes.
I just don't find them funny, is all.
How many gatherers it take to kill bear owl? Eight hundred, because gatherers weak and no hunt well.
[guffawing.]
[groans.]
Gatherers are usually quite strong despite their mostly frail bodies.
Oh, we have gatherer here tonight.
Hey, Amber no go where you work and knock tiny fruit out your hand.
[chuckles.]
Am Amber right? Wow! Must feel good to make people laugh, and on purpose.
I can almost picture myself up there.
Thunk tell chickuna it taste bad.
Chickuna ask for second opinion.
Thunk say, "Okay, you smell bad, too.
" [laughing.]
[sighs.]
Thank you for coming.
Amber, out.
Guys, guys.
I think I have a joke.
[clears throat.]
What did the mosquitoad say to the hunting rock? We gotta stop beating like this.
[guffaws.]
Oh, see? That is funny, and without being mean.
[gasps.]
This could be what I'm good at! Take that, school! I didn't even need to pass "Not Dying.
" [grunts, sighs.]
Oh, man, I love that joke where you were like, - "That not mouth.
" - Uh Amber jokes better when Amber say them.
[gasps.]
You made fun of me.
[chuckles.]
I'm honored.
Great show, Amber.
Killer jokes, especially the ones about killing.
Amber talk about what Amber know.
Any chance I could try telling jokes at the Laughing Pit, too? That depend.
Grug son have one chance to make Amber laugh.
- Go! - Now? Here? Okay.
Sure.
Uh there are three pig rats.
No! Two pig rats.
No, three.
And and you don't know that they're pig rats yet.
[sighs.]
Let me try again.
But first, do you know Womp? Oh, kinda need to know Womp for that joke.
- One joke, one joke.
- [buzzing.]
Got it! What did the [gags.]
- [choking.]
- Yeah.
Grug son never perform at the Laughing Pit.
[chuckles.]
Maybe Grug son try Choke Hole.
[chuckles.]
Amber joking.
Grug son never perform anywhere.
[gasping.]
[chuckling.]
Oh, boy! She really tells it like it is.
[sighs.]
I could be good at jokes if Amber gave me another shot.
What do I do? I'm not talking to myself.
I really need advice, Sandy.
Sandy? [growls.]
[shrieks.]
These bones want revenge.
Please, don't eat me.
I didn't even like the way your meat tasted.
- [giggling.]
- Oh, it's just you, Sandy.
[as puppet.]
"You made me sound like I was alive.
" - [laughs.]
- You think I'm funny? - 'Cause the last guy thought I was tasty.
- [giggling.]
You know, if Amber won't listen to Thunk Crood, maybe she'll listen to [as puppet.]
Me, Funk Rood, all-around funny guy.
- Ooga booga! - [laughs, clapping.]
Uh, Amber no like prop comedy.
[shudders.]
It actually in there.
- Take half day tomorrow.
- Thank you.
Not everything's a joke.
[sighs.]
I'm so nervous.
You think you got problems? I don't even have skin.
[laughs.]
You're always on.
I'll never get tired of that.
Let's go! [clears throat.]
Sorry about that.
Tough to clear your throat when some caveman ate it for breakfast.
[guffawing.]
You said it, talking skull.
Seriously, my parents used to say I was skin and bones.
Now I'm just bones.
Ooga booga! [laughing.]
[laughing.]
Ever notice how hunters talk like this: "Hey, how you doin'?" But gatherers talk like this: "Duh, I got fruit!" Duh.
[imitating.]
Anyone can do silly voices.
Mom, please.
Leave the jokes to the professionals.
[sighs.]
Hey, who's got two thumbs and a full belly? The guy who ate my thumbs! [laughing.]
See? Making people laugh is what I'm good at.
Take that, earlier Thunk who didn't think he was good at anything.
Ow! [laughing.]
[crickets chirping.]
Funk, Funk! [crowd chanting.]
Funk, Funk, Funk, Funk, Funk! Are you saying, "Thunk, Thunk, Thunk"? [chanting.]
No, no, no, no, no! It's like they don't get that I am Funk.
Because you're not.
But don't worry.
We're a team.
The brains and the beauty.
And you.
Ooga booga! [crowd laughing.]
Anyone here from Ahhh! Valley? [cheering.]
Those who can't do, teach.
And those who are too lazy to teach are named Squawk.
- Ooga Booga! - [guffawing.]
Uh, mind if we get a picture? Uh, sure.
Yeah.
Uh, no.
Who are you? I'm talking to the funny one.
[Grug.]
How was your day, son? Not great.
Oh, I was talking to my other son, Funk.
Um, you don't mind if I call you son, do you? You don't mind if I call you ugly, do you? This guy Wait.
I know this meat.
I used to be this meat.
[yelps.]
[impact grunts.]
Ow! Mom? You're missing Funk.
[Grug.]
Funk's "playing dead" bit is so funny! - It's like he's really dead! - [everyone laughs.]
[groans.]
I know everyone finds Funk funny, but not me.
He's loud and obnoxious and the whole making jokes about death thing? Death isn't funny.
I for one agree.
[screams.]
Thunk, maybe I don't know jokes, but I know you, and you are a lot funnier than that jerk skull.
- [all laughing.]
- [Eep.]
Funk, you're hilarious.
You are Funk Rood, right? [sighs.]
I am and I'm not.
But yeah, I got into this to make people laugh, at me.
And that's what I'm going to do.
[grunting.]
[screams.]
[chuckling.]
Hey, Ugga, you gotta see Funk's impression of you at the Laughing Pit.
[chuckling.]
Oh, man, he's got you down.
[groans.]
Straight from belly of bear owl, Funk Rood! [sighing.]
The chickuna asks for a second opinion, so I say, "Okay, you smell bad, too.
" [chuckles, sighs.]
Hey, where Grug son going? Grug son going to tell jokes.
[laughs.]
That funniest thing Grug son ever say.
- [gasps.]
- But still not very funny.
You no take stage ever.
Where Funk? Funk's not here tonight.
Oh, yeah? Then where am I? [yelping.]
How did you even get here? I've always been here.
- [screams.]
- You forgot Funk, Thunk.
Hey, your names rhyme.
[chuckling.]
There a joke in that? That one's free, on me.
Come on, you wanted laughs? I'm getting them.
Where's the problem? I wanted to be good at something.
Me, not some skull on my hand.
You are good at something.
You do that great impression of a dummy.
[growls.]
That's it! [grunting.]
Stop hitting yourself.
Stop hitting yourself.
Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.
You stop hitting yourself! Oh, wait, I control you.
[gasps.]
- Is this a bit? - This isn't what I wanted.
Maybe I'm not good at making people laugh.
Don't look at me.
I'm just your anxiety talking.
Everybody, I'm [screaming.]
[grunting.]
[screaming.]
[sighs.]
Oh! I'm [screaming.]
[grunting.]
[sighs.]
Oh, I'm [grunting.]
I'm okay.
[crickets chirping.]
[guffawing.]
[crowd laughing.]
Now that was funny.
Our son hurt himself And survived! So funny! Grug son fall, make Amber laugh.
That funniest thing Amber ever see.
[chuckles.]
Really? Me? Grug son? Yeah! Grug son even funnier than Funk.
Funk over-rely on catchphrase, "Ooga booga.
" Grug son rely on pain! Much funnier! [sighs.]
You're gonna live with me now, Funk.
You've still got it.
Ooga booga! See? First the buffalippo smell to find out if they like each other.
[sniffing.]
[Ugga.]
Ooh, he is really sniffing up what she's sweating out.
Then they do a courtship dance, ending with them touching horns, which means they're mates forever.
Aww! Or until we eat them.
[groans.]
Hey! That other male's trying to jerk them apart.
Well, sure, sweetie.
Every species has jerks.
[chuckles.]
Beat it, jerkalippo.
Looks like love wins again.
- Hey.
- Kevin? You watch animal courtships? Yeah, but I think of it as watching two hearts become one.
Isn't nature so beautiful? But the reason I'm here now is to ask you out to a romantic sunset dinner, Eep.
My mom will have to catch and kill the prey for us, but still - [birds chirping.]
- Sorry, what? All I hear is birds singing as if for the first time.
Oh, I said I came to ask you on a date.
[squeals.]
Oh, Kevin.
A thousand times yes Eep, you are not going out on a date with him, and that is final.
- But, but, I I'm cute.
- No, nope.
Forget it.
Don't even make eye contact.
Hey.
Okay, I'll go.
But I'll never forget you, Eep.
- Hey, Mal, wanna go on a date? - Me? Am I Mal? I am Mal! Yes, yes! [giggling.]
Well, I'd say I handled that, uh, what's a word that means better than perfect? [snarling.]
Eep, I can see you're angry, but I know what is best for you.
Kevin is no good.
He's the kind of jerk I was talking about.
And you're not gonna change my mind by foaming at the mouth.
- [shouts.]
- [shrieking.]
Just go to the hunt, Grug, and run! - [Eep snarling.]
- No, Ugga.
If I show fear now, then any time I do something she doesn't like, she'll think I'll just - [growls.]
- [shrieks.]
[grunting.]
Okay, I'm calm.
You can get off now.
[scoffs.]
Nice try, but your hackles haven't even gone down.
[hissing.]
[bellowing.]
- Huh? - [bellowing continues.]
Hey, look.
The buffalippos are getting ready to touch horns.
- Aww.
- Aww.
Wait.
Am I old enough to see this? Yes, yes.
Be with him! Be with your Kevin.
Before your heartless buffalippo father ruins it.
Eep, your dad was only looking out for you.
He's not heartless.
He's actually a sweet and gentle caveman, who Kill the meat, kill the meat! With the worst timing possible.
[screaming.]
No! He can't destroy another young romance.
Not for some stupid meal.
Wait, Eep, no! Kids, stop! Eep, Thunk, do you not hear me using my Mom voice? Or have you realized it's an empty threat with no real power to control you? Well, it's all I got, so you come back here right now! [groans.]
I'm going home.
[panting.]
Careful, Munk.
Make sure you have a clear shot before you throw.
You got it, buddy.
[imitating Grug.]
Just kidding.
Throw now! You got it, buddy.
Wait.
I didn't say that ow! [grunts.]
Guys, what are you doing? That was going to be our dinner! And my new head hair.
She just fell in love! And I'm not letting you crush her dreams, Dad! We're not trying to crush her dreams, just her entire body! Buffalippos have dreams? Huh.
I wonder if they're the same as mine.
[thunder rumbling.]
That's it.
Run, girl! No one can stop you from reaching your one and only.
[panting.]
Love makes you brave.
Love makes you strong.
Love makes you go number one.
No! Don't stop! Hunters are coming! [Grug.]
We are right on your tail [stammers.]
wherever you are! Fine, fine, you did your thing.
Now let's, uh Oh, come on! Move! Do it for true love! [bellowing.]
[shouts, grunts.]
She's being difficult.
Can't say I blame her.
These are delicious.
Which means we need something even tastier to lead her away.
And I know just the thing.
Oh, buffalippo.
Dinner's served.
If I were you, I'd start here and eat to the top, where you'll find a tiny surprise my brain.
Mmm.
[screaming.]
- [grunting.]
- [straining.]
What gives? I'm offering you the meal of a lifetime here.
Now eat! - [grunts.]
- Food isn't the answer, Thunk.
Romance is out there waiting for her.
We just have to get her to hear its call.
Okay, Munk, set your rock to stun.
And fast! Thunk, go hide and lure her with a buffalippo mating call.
Me? Why would I be able to do that? 'Cause it's weird, and you're Thunk.
[chuckles.]
Hey, yeah.
Watch and learn.
[wailing.]
Wrong call, wrong call.
Yeah, it was more like, um [howling.]
[growling.]
[hissing.]
[sighs.]
Maybe it's more like - [buffalippo bellowing.]
- [gasping.]
[gasps.]
Her Kevin! [laughing.]
[shouts, grunts.]
Have fun finding your love.
But you'll never find a meal as good as me ever again.
Time to bonk some prey! Aw, it's just my son.
Well, dinner's dinner.
[sighs.]
I just cannot get eaten today.
[panting.]
Almost there.
This is all I've ever wanted.
[stammering.]
I mean, you've ever wanted.
[gasps.]
No! No, stop! That's not your Kevin.
[grunts.]
No! No way.
You are not going with this jerk, and that's final.
[nervous chuckling.]
And by jerk, I was just "jerking" around.
[chuckles.]
[bellowing.]
[screams.]
[panting.]
[screams.]
Eep! Are you okay? No, I'm mad.
Can't she see this guy's no good? And I'm just trying to look out for her.
[winces.]
Oh.
I guess that's all you were trying to do for me, weren't you, Dad? [panting.]
Help! Hey, don't throw that rock, Munk.
You might hit Eep.
No, don't throw that rock, either.
[bellowing.]
[Eep screaming.]
I've got a better idea.
Yoo-hoo! Loverboy! Graze this field often? Dad? I don't think he's into you.
[exclaiming.]
Um [chuckling.]
But he's definitely on to you.
[shrieking.]
[screaming.]
[straining.]
[panting.]
[straining.]
Pucker up.
[buffalippos bellowing.]
- Dad! - Eep! Tree! [moaning.]
Sorry I foamed at the mouth at you, Dad.
No, it's all right.
I overreacted when Kevin asked you out.
I should've known you'd learn the lesson yourself after we both nearly died.
Well, at least everything's settled now.
- [stomach growling.]
- Almost everything.
[buffalippo grunting.]
Eh.
[bellowing.]
[Eep clears throat.]
Go ahead, you crazy kids.
Looks like love wins again again.
What are you doing here? Asking you out on a date.
Only this time, we won't let your heartless father come between us.
What about your date with Mal? Oh, that? That was amazing.
Ready to go? [laughs.]
You know what, Kevin? My dad isn't heartless.
You are.
So take a hike, jerkalippo.
But but but I'm I'm cute.
Hey, but [whimpering.]
[sniffing.]
[wincing.]
[whimpering.]
Aw! Pretty sweet.
Huh, Dad? It sure is, honey.
[stomach growling.]
Now how about we go hunt some lonely animals? Yeah.
I am starving.
[laughing.]
Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum ba-dum