I Didn't Do It (2014) s02e11 Episode Script

Synced and corrected By Katniss Everdeen Whoo! Whoo! Come on.
Come on, Delia, get that ball! Where is everybody? We didn't come to school on President's Day again, did we? What! Come on ref, that wasn't a foul! Boy, when there's no crowd, you know you really stand out.
Um, how many points do they get when they shoot from outside the circle thingy? You're Vice President of the Pep Club, shouldn't you know how the game works? You don't have to know about sports to be good at Pep.
Really? What are the requirements? Energy, school spirit, and great hair.
Check, check and so check.
Yeah, it's so shiny and manageable.
What are you doing? Why aren't you in the game? No, I fouled out.
I can't jump, I can't shoot, all I got are these.
Deels, watch the elbows! Sorry.
The girls are still in game mode.
Why is it so quiet in here? Where are all the cheerleaders? None of the girls sports have cheerleaders.
That doesn't seem right.
The girls teams should be supported just like the boys teams are.
I think we should talk to the cheerleading coach.
Yeah, you should.
I said "We.
" And I changed it to "You.
" You've obviously never talked to Mrs.
Clegg before.
What's wrong with Mrs.
Clegg? Oh, she's tough.
She made me do push-ups once, and that was in her English class.
I'm still going to talk to her.
I know how to handle adults.
You just have to be calm, cool and polite.
That wasn't a foul! Are you out of your mind? Of course, you know, you had the better view.
I'm here.
I'm here.
Ah! Dude, we're in high school now.
If you want to play dress-up, you have to lock the door.
I'm not playing dress-up.
I got a job as a superhero at kids' parties.
Who are you supposed to be? Mr.
Awesome.
Mr.
Awesome? That sounds made up.
You know that all superheroes are made up, right? I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
So, what powers does Mr.
Awesome have? I don't know.
What planet are you from? What's your weakness? Who's your nemesis? Dude, I'm making nine bucks an hour and wearing tights.
Don't make me do homework, too.
Well, at least tell me you have a catchphrase.
Oh, oh I do.
"I'm here!" It's a "catch" phrase.
It has to be catchy.
Um.
.
Ooh, how about "Crime time's over, pal!" "Crime time's over, pal.
" That is catchy.
I know what I'm talking about.
I've spent years studying superheroes.
You mean reading comic books? Graphic novels.
And playing with dolls? Action figures.
Whatever lets you sleep at night.
And and please don't tell the girls or anyone else in the universe about this.
Don't worry.
When you play with action figures, you know how to keep a secret.
Hi, Mrs.
Clegg, can I talk to you? I'm in the middle of something here.
"Chuck Wagon of Love.
" It's about Chuck Wagon, a ruggedly handsome, tough-as-nails trail cook.
He puts the "Wild" in "Wild West.
" Actually, I'm here to talk about cheerleading.
Oh, fine, you want to try out? Show me what you got.
No, no, I wasn't Cut the chatter.
Give me a one-handed cartwheel and end with the splits.
Yeah, I don't know how Do it! I've never done that before! I am a powerful motivator.
Mrs.
Clegg, I really just wanted to ask you why none of the girls' sports have cheerleaders.
Girls cheering for girls? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What is next, a lady president? What's funny about a woman president? Oh you're one of those.
Listen, missy, I grew up in Texas, where we honor a little thing called tradition.
I grew up in Illinois, where the state bird is the cardinal and the state flower is the violet.
What are you talking about? I don't know.
You scare me a little.
Now look, things are the way they are for a reason.
If there weren't rules, there would just be chaos.
Is that what you want? Chaos? But it's not fair.
It just because something's always been done one way doesn't mean it should stay that way.
Honey, if its and buts were candy and nuts, then every day'd be Christmas.
What does that mean? It means we're done here.
Hey, Mr.
Awesome, what's going on? I'm locked out of the house, my parents are at work, and I can't find Lindy.
So, why are you standing out here? I don't want anyone I know to see me like this.
Yeah, that costume totally needs a utility belt.
Not the hot issue right now.
I get off in 15 minutes, you can come hang at my house.
Help! Help! Help! Help! Stop him! He took my purse! Oh Here's your purse, ma'am.
Oh! Thank you so much! Wait, are you a superhero? No, no, no! You're kind of dressed like one.
What's the A stand for? Mr.
Awesome.
Well, that's a pretty superhero-y name.
Oh, wait I want What happened? Well, someone stole my purse, but a superhero saved the day! A superhero? You mean the kind that only you can see? No, he was real.
He had a cape and a big A on his chest.
He said his name was Mr.
Awesome.
Did he say anything cool, like Crime-time's over, pal! No, he just he just ran off.
Why do I even bother? And then she said, "If its and buts were candy and nuts, every day'd be Christmas.
" Doesn't that just burn your grits? What? Sorry, the Texas rubbed off on me.
Guys, we have to do something.
Why do we always have to be the ones to do something? Just for once, can't we be passive observers and let someone else change the world? Passive observers? That doesn't sound like fun.
These girls want to crack some skulls! Down, girls.
Hey, they only listen to me.
Down, girls.
See? Well if we want to change something, why don't we circulate a petition? Petition? That's just words on paper! You could write an article for the school blog.
That's just words on a computer! You guys got something against words? No, we are past words.
What we need is some action! Hey, what if we form our own cheerleading squad? And only cheer for the girl sports.
I love it! I could cheer for myself while I'm playing! Of course you could! We could even make up our own cheers! You mean something like Yeah, something like that.
Oh! We can even make our own uniforms.
Something fun, but a little edgy.
Okay, now that we're talking fashion, I'm in.
This'll be so great! And guess what? I can do a one-handed cartwheel! Huh.
Maybe I only had one of those in me.
Thank you Juanita.
We're standing outside a local smoothie shop where It's called Rumblejuice.
I'm the owner and operator, Betty LeBow.
Where apparently, a superhero foiled a purse-snatching.
Can you tell us what you saw Can we just slide over a bit? I'm not sure you're getting the sign.
Can you tell us what you saw? Oh, well, I was serving several of my loyal customers here at Rumblejuice, 2624 Birkner Avenue, open seven days a week, available for special events and holiday parties.
Getting back to the crime Well, it was exciting.
I was standing behind the counter, making one of our delicious smoothies mango/passion fruit, it's our Flavor of the Month.
Thank you.
Thank you, local business owner.
We have an artist's rendering of what the superhero, a Mr.
Awesome, looks like.
At least they got my body right.
Where do you think you're going? Into the gym, to cheer for the girls volleyball team.
Or you could take the advice on your T-shirts and "go, girls.
" Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm just trying to avoid push-ups.
Oh.
Ha ha ha! Ohh Ha ha ha! Ohh What in the Sam Hill are you wearing? Oh, well, I was going for bit of an alt cheerleader thing.
You know, sporty yet sophisticated, tough yet feminine, bold yet understated.
Annoying, yet still talking.
Now why don't you turn it around and head for the barn.
Unless you want trouble.
I wouldn't mind a little trouble.
Drop and give me ten.
I had to test it.
Guys, guys, guys wait.
Maybe Mrs.
Clegg is right.
She is? Yes, she is.
Instead of wasting our time cheering for girls, we should spend more time doing more traditional things, like doing each other's hair or writing dreamy things about boys in our notebooks.
There you go, now you're getting it.
I'm glad y'all came to your senses.
Wait, wait, wait.
We're not really doing each other's hair? I want in! Who are you? It's me, Garrett.
Yeah, I know that.
I mean, who are you supposed to be? I'm Roid-Boy! Roid-Boy? You see, when I was a baby, my home planet was under attack, so my parents sent me to Earth on an asteroid.
And that's why I'm called Roid-Boy! Oh.
I thought it was about hemorrhoids.
Why would my space parents send me to Earth on a hemorrhoid? Why would your real parents let you out of the house dressed like that? I've always wanted to be a superhero.
You're a superhero.
No, I'm not.
I just entertain at kids' parties.
You foiled a crime, you were on TV you're a superhero.
That's how it works.
And I should know.
I've spent thousands of dollars on comic books.
You mean graphic novels? They're comic books, who am I kidding? Dude look, if you want to be a superhero, be a superhero.
I'm just a guy who looks great in a tight costume.
Or in street clothes.
The point is, I look good.
Next time you work a party, can I come with you? I could be your sidekick.
Mr.
Awesome doesn't need a sidekick.
That's what makes him awesome.
Oh, now you have a back story.
Whoo! Whoo! Okay, okay, pyramid! Whoo! Yes! Let's do it.
Whoooo! Yeah! Okay, pyramid's a little weak.
Yeah.
Guys, have you noticed there's only one team here? And they're not in uniform.
I think they're just practicing.
Well, then, so are we.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Hey, kids! I'm Mr.
Awesome, and I'm here to make Timmy's birthday party the most awesome ever! Who are you? I'm Mr.
Awesome's sidekick, Roid-Boy! Like a hemorrhoid? Why does everybody think that? I came to this planet on an asteroid! Mom! Hemorrhoid Guy's yelling at me! It's Roid-Boy! Don't wreck this for me.
I won't.
But everyone should know that Roid-Boy is a serious crime fighter.
Ooh, pigs in a blanket! Hey, I'm Professor Terrible, Mr.
Awesome's arch-enemy.
Oh I I didn't know I had an arch-enemy.
You do if the family orders the deluxe party package.
Well, what are we supposed to do? First we taunt each other, then we do some fake fighting.
And we should also throw in some sound effects.
But I get to win, right? Oh, yeah yeah, of course.
But I get paid more.
How is that fair? Believe me, I earn it.
At the end of the fight the kids usually attack me.
Well, should we get started? Yeah, why not.
Mr.
Awesome, we meet again! Ohh it's my arch-enemy Professor Rotten! It's Terrible.
Sorry, it's my first time.
Prepare to be schooled, Professor! Ohhh Whoo! Whoa! Uhhh! Ohh! What kind of sidekick are you? Mr.
Awesome's getting his butt kicked! Guard these pigs with your life! I'm coming, Mr.
Awesome! Garrett, what are you doing? I'm not Garrett, I'm Roid-Boy! Crime-time's over, pal! You see how it works? Professor Terrible's down! Get him! Here we go.
That was amazing! I feel like a real superhero! Oh, you got mustard on your R.
You don't have to thank me.
I wasn't going to.
So, what's next, Mr.
Awesome? We pass out cake, then I get my check from Timmy's mom.
To the cake! I need a new job.
You are in a whole heap of trouble, little ladies.
We were just standing up for what we believe in.
And I'm glad we did.
By the way, I am not afraid of you anymore.
Give me a round-off to a herkie! I told you guys! Principal McLean.
Thank you for joining us.
Well, I'm sorry that I'm late, but the freezer broke in the science lab and all the frogs defrosted.
Why is that my problem? I just want to say, I think it's wrong that we dissect frogs.
Deels, one battle at a time.
So, Mrs.
Clegg, what is this about? These girls have formed a rogue cheerleading squad.
Well, that is a new one.
I hate new ones.
Okay, were you cheering for the other team? No, no we would never do that! Well, then I don't see the harm.
Cheerleaders at this school have to be sanctioned.
They must meet certain standards set by me! It is written on a piece of paper, in the office! Well, then my hands are tied.
So, girls, I am shutting you down.
Now, unless there's something else No, no, there is something else! There always is.
No one cheers for the girls' teams at this school.
That's all we're trying to do.
It's a wrong, and we're trying to right it.
We're wrong-righters.
And if it's wrong to right a wrong, we don't want to be right.
Or is it wrong? Anybody want to jump in? Nope.
Bernie, these girls can't just do what they want willy-nilly! We never wanted to cause trouble or hurt anybody.
We just wanted to make the girl athletes feel as valued as the boys.
And Mrs.
Clegg said we couldn't do that because of tradition.
But you know what? This is America.
And in America, we have the freedom to change traditions we think are unfair.
Women have always had to fight for equality.
To stand up for what's right, even in the face of adversity.
And that's all we're doing now.
Right, ladies? Okay, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So, Mrs.
Clegg, unless you have something to sing, I have made a decision.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
The rogue cheerleaders can stay.
Oh ho ho! Chuck Wagon of Love.
Ha ha! Great series.
Yeah, we should go, too.
Oh, uh, Mrs.
Clegg, I hope there's no hard feelings.
Nope.
It's all good.
Okay, well we'll see you around then.
Oh, you sure will.
Let's get out of here before she runs out of pencils.
Hey, Betty, what's going on? My appearance on the news didn't create the publicity I was hoping for.
Maybe you shouldn't have smacked the reporter with your banana.
That was an accident.
And I'll say the same thing in court.
Anyway, I thought I'd try a little live entertainment.
Aw! And you saved these seats for your favorite customers? Sure did.
But they couldn't make it, so you can have 'em.
Okay everybody, let's give a warm Rumblejuice welcome to RaeLynn! "After a long, hot day on the cattle drive, Chuck Wagon was happy to be rustlin' up some supper.
Chuck's muscles bulged as his strong hands kneaded the biscuit dough, which he made with four cups of flour, a cup and a half of water, salt and sugar to taste" Hey, wait, this is this is just a book of recipes.
And not a very good one.
How do you make biscuits without yeast? Who cares.
Keep reading.
Why are you dressed like that? You're asking us that question? We've been changing traditions and breaking glass ceilings.
What's your excuse? We've been fighting crime and saving the world.
For nine bucks an hour.
I'm doing it for free.
Who are you supposed to be? I'm Roid-Boy! Like a hemorrhoid? That's it, I'm changing the name! Dad!