Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s02e11 Episode Script
Chi of Steel
Yeah, look, Harlan.
It's not me, it's my wife, Alice.
Perry, Alice is a woman.
Safety, security, 3 percent, FDIC insured.
- It's how they think.
- Yeah, I know that.
You've seen how much I've made for the other members.
You did okay with that investment we tested the waters with.
Listen, I did more than okay.
I just wanna know that we're talking the minimum downside here.
Harlan you've got a sizeable chunk of my life savings.
It's only natural to have these kinds of fears, but, Perry, I'm telling you this is a brand-new way to manufacture microchips for pennies.
And unlike the typical Silicon Valley venture all our basic managerials are farmed out to low-cost specialization services.
So the pension alone will save us To get us into mass production fast, we need equipment.
Now, we've found an overseas company that's gone belly-up willing to sell its hardware, but they'll only deal in cash or bonds.
Wait a minute.
Are you telling me all my money is sitting there in bearer bonds, good as cash? Relax.
Perry, this is not my first rodeo.
I've got an armed guard on the way.
Once in transit, it's all fully insured and Well, there he is now.
Nothing like a single-malt Scotch, huh? What in the hell? You all right, Harlan? Well, you're a little late, pal.
That safe is locked and secured.
There's not a chance you're gonna get anything out of there.
Oh, my God.
Harlan, this is bad, isn't it? Oh, no.
So this hooded figure, now, did you get a good look at his face? - He was wearing a hood.
- Oh, right.
Yeah, a hood.
- Is this decaf? - What? Because I just can't take all that caffeine anymore.
I used to drink three, four cups every morning Do you mind if we get back to my robbery here? - Yeah.
Sorry.
- All right, now, see the way he stunned me, I never felt anything like that before.
Are these nonfat? I'm trying to cut down.
Will somebody get this man some nonfat muffins?! - Thank you.
Looks like post-traumatic stress is setting in.
Can you blame him? He has no idea if he'll ever see his life savings again.
Listen, can you do me a favor? Go in there with me.
He yells less when you're around.
- Boy, if I get less, I'd hate to see more.
- Olsen! - Muffins! - Yes, you would.
Realistically, Mr.
White, this is a big city.
There's a robbery every 10 minutes.
My advice is don't hold your breath.
That's it? - What kind of bonds were they again? - Bearer bonds.
- Bearer.
- Futures, chief.
That's the way to go.
- Isn't that risky? - Yeah, it can be, but the returns are huge.
I made 15 thou last week.
You made $ 15,000 last week on futures, and we've been paying for your parking? It's not real.
I do it on my computer.
It's my hobby.
My brother put me into - How did he know what you needed? - He asked.
Okay, see you.
- You'll be in touch? - About what? - About what? - Oh, right.
Yeah, sure.
Judas Priest.
Oh, boy.
Well, I'm done for, kids.
Those bonds were as good as cash.
They're gone.
They're not insured.
I suck up enough courage to tell Alice she's gonna boot me out the door faster than you can say "YMCA.
" Don't start packing yet, chief.
Clark and I can try and find this guy.
Well, I can't ask you to do that for me.
- Why? - Daily Planet.
Well, because it would be using Planet employees to help me solve my own personal problems.
I can't do that.
Chief, it's your wife.
Go.
Alice, how you doing, honey? That's fine, Mr.
Mallory.
You can go on up now.
Thank you, Charles.
Hi, we're Clark Kent and Lois Lane from the Daily Planet.
Perry White called and said we were coming.
Let's see.
Here you are, Mr.
Kent.
You can go on up.
- Thank you.
- I'm sorry, ma'am.
- You're gonna have to wait here.
- What? - It's a gentlemen's club.
- I'm a reporter on a story.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
Will you let go of my arm, please? Will you get off the step, please? Yes, I'm a female.
It's probably been a few years since you've seen one.
He's just trying to do his job.
- Why don't I go upstairs? - Are we partners or not? If you go without me, you're saying there is nothing wrong with this discrimination.
Fine.
Fine, what do you want us to do? We don't have to go in there.
Get the police report.
That'll tell us everything.
Okay.
Typical.
- Excuse me? - Lois, he's just trying to provoke you.
- Are you implying something? - And he's doing a great job.
That women are volatile and unstable prone to emotional outbursts? Let me tell you something.
We don't form organizations the sole purpose of which is to hide from the opposite sex.
I'm gonna go get a hot dog.
Some guy in a Halloween suit sneaks into my club busts into my safe and, trick or treat, steals my money.
Our people are out in force.
We should have a lead by Superman.
I heard about the robbery.
I thought I might look around.
The police have already been over the place, but of course your help would be more than welcome.
Have you ever thought of joining a men's club, Superman? Might be nice for you to have a place to relax where you could take your cape off and just be one of the guys.
Thanks, but I don't really have the time.
We have a full gym.
- What is this? - What? You mind if I take this with me and see what I can find out? Be my guest.
And if you change your mind about the club Maybe the news hasn't penetrated these thick walls but, you know, women actually have the vote now.
You are blocking the entrance and you're creating a nuisance.
A nuisance.
I'm a nuisance.
I could picket this place, call my congresswoman - Fine.
- Lois, look at this.
- I'm not finished with you yet.
- Fine.
I got this off a guard that I bribed inside.
He said that they found this design etched into the safe.
What is it? Well, see the dragon symbol, a yin-yang? They're power totems.
Some of the more obscure Chinese martial arts use them.
The design is cut into an artifact, like a necklace or a ring to bestow power upon its wearer.
If it's obscure, how do you know about it? I traveled through China.
I know some of them, not all of them.
I don't recognize this one, but I know who would.
- Chen Chow.
- Who? Chen Chow, a friend of mine.
The editor of the Chinatown Daily.
His grandfather and sister, Lin, are really big into this stuff.
- What? - My folks are coming to town.
- I have to let them into my apartment.
- You go ahead.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Where'd you say this guy Chen lived? The Heart of the Dragon? What is that, some kind of Bruce Lee movie? It's no joke.
You saw what he did to the safe.
He's a 10th-level Ye Chi master and with the dragon's heart bracelet, he's unstoppable.
Excuse me, did I just fall through a rabbit hole? I want this yahoo found.
And then I want him hurt.
And then I wanna dance at his funeral.
Are you reading me on this? Yes.
But I don't think you're reading me.
Hi.
I'm Lois Lane.
Clark Kent called.
I have an appointment with Chen Chow.
- Hi.
You must be Lois.
I'm Chen.
- Hi.
Nice to finally meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.
So I hear the hooded figure strikes again.
Yeah.
Clark said you'd heard about this guy? He's hit four Chinatown businesses in the last week.
But this is his first robbery outside Chinatown.
- Same m.
o.
A loan, big cash, no clues.
- Actually, one clue.
We found this.
We were wondering if you know what it means.
I don't know.
Hey, Grandpa? You recognize this? This one's heart and head are in different places.
That's good.
If my heart was in my head, I wouldn't have room for my brain.
It is the dragon's heart, the long sum.
Power totem of the Ye Chi discipline.
Two bracelets worn on the wrists taken from the Tao Monastery many years ago.
Where are they now? Only the one who took them knows.
Look, Chen, if you could get me a list of the robberies in Chinatown and the dates - I'll fax it to your office.
Thanks.
How do you know Clark? We go to the same optometrist.
Excuse me.
It was a pleasure to meet you, sir.
I just wanted to say that I've studied a little karate and tai chi.
I was watching you with your students.
I'd be interested in taking Women are not allowed in the master class.
Clark, I'm sorry the plane was so late.
Next time, maybe we'll just have you fly us in.
Well, you'd certainly be a lot gentler with our luggage.
What a day this has been! What a rare mood I'm in.
Hi, Lois.
How are you? You look a little tense.
We're investigating this story at the Metropolis Men's Club.
When Clark and I get there, they won't let me in.
Why ever not? Because I'm a woman.
And at your friend Chen's, I find out I can't take Ye Chi because I'm a woman.
- That's awful.
- But you can understand why it's like that.
- Dad.
- I'm talking about the men's club part.
You know, after a hard day, a man likes a little time alone with his buddies.
A hard day? So you're saying that men endure intrinsically harder days than women.
Well Now, Lois Tell her what I mean, Martha.
No, Jonathan, you tell me.
- What are you saying? - What I'm saying is men work.
And women work, of course.
And Clark, help me out, huh? I know nothing.
Excuse me.
- Hello? - So you'd be willing to switch jobs with me then, say, for the three days that we're here in Metropolis? Okay.
For the next three days, I'll do your chores, you do mine.
Deal? Deal.
My to-do list.
Okay.
Okay.
Number one, shop for dinner.
Okay, I'm off to the market.
I guess I should start getting busy doing Jonathan's chores.
Great.
Thanks.
That was Jimmy.
He got your fax from Chen.
Did a background check.
Turns out all four Chinatown factories robbed by the hooded figure are subsidiaries of the same Chinatown company: Son Kwan Industries.
So we'd like to talk to someone here at Son Kwan Industries about the robberies.
We understand you've been hit a lot recently.
It's just not your day with doormen.
And in exchange for your passage here you agree to work in our factories, live in our housing and set aside 50 percent of your wages until the debt is repaid.
The boy, we were hoping he would go to school.
Oh, he will.
As soon as he's worked off his debt.
- But he's - lf you don't wanna work here there's no problem sending you back.
There's still half a day left.
Go see the foreman, and he'll get you on the line.
- I've just brought in another family.
- We need 50 more.
A hundred.
Every day.
I could bring in thousands if only Superman didn't patrol the harbors.
Yeah, yeah.
Angels.
Pinheads.
Welcome to the wonderful world of "if.
" Tell me you've got good news about these robberies.
I do.
The dragon's heart bracelets were brought here, from China by a family that's known to us.
- The bracelets - Bracelets again.
What, are you working up a drag act? I don't care about bracelets.
You're into women's accessories, fine.
Shop on your own time.
But find this guy that's taking my money! Give me the gun.
Go! Around the corner! Look! It's the hooded Drop the bags and come with me.
Hey, I think your bracelet guy's about to have his butt handed to him faster than a speeding bullet.
That's great.
Superman, are you all right? Fine.
I'm a little mad, but I'll be better as soon as this guy's in jail.
You were saying something about women's accessories? - He can beat Superman.
- Wearing the Heart of the Dragon a Ye Chi master could kill Superman.
A dead Superman.
You know what that is? Good for business.
Nobody flying over the harbor with x-ray vision.
We could fill factories by the boatloads.
Welcome to that world of "if.
" Get them.
I don't care what it costs or who dies.
I want those bracelets.
Let's go! - Are you sure it wasn't kryptonite? - I'm sure, Dad.
Do you suppose he could be some kind of superbeing? Well, he wasn't strong.
He was just I don't understand what he really was at all.
- Light bulb.
- Your job.
Right.
Clark, where do you keep the light bulbs? I don't know, Dad.
Mom bought the last box.
They're in the storage space, under the window in the bedroom.
Dad, what happened to this shirt? What do you mean? - It was white.
- I just washed it.
It should be clean.
Well, it is clean, Dad, only now it's pink.
You didn't wash this with my cape, did you? Can't you fix it with your heat vision? Dad, there's not a superpower on earth that can get this out.
Speaking of heat vision, do you smell something burning? Dad, my cape! I got it.
It bugged me all night, and then I finally figured it out.
Hey, nice shirt.
You look good in pink.
Thanks, Lois.
Come on in.
So the moves that the hooded figure was using? I recognized them.
They're the exact moves that Chen's grandfather taught.
The Ye Chi.
Let's get out of here.
You may not find that quite so inconvenient.
- Oh, no.
- Chen? Lois, I think I hear something.
- Chen, what happened? - Four guys broke in, tore the place up.
- Who were they? - The Tong.
- The Chinese mafia? - What did they want? They think we have the dragon heart bracelets Grandpa was talking about.
That's part of the reason we're here.
The hooded robber hit Son Kwan Industries.
Lois saw him using the Ye Chi moves that you taught and he was wearing the bracelets.
- He threw Superman around like a rag doll and disappeared.
- I wouldn't say like a rag doll.
A Ye Chi master utilizes many devices: A smoke that paralyzes, a sound that confuses a dust that can create an image so real that even another Ye Chi master would be fooled.
And the dragon hearts bracelet? Your chi is strong.
Very, very strong.
Yes, I trust you.
I have the bracelets.
Grandpa, for real? When my grandfather died, he gave them to me to hold for the next worthy one.
I thought it would be my student, Jzuk-Mao but he was seduced by evil and greed.
The last thing I did before leaving China with my grandchildren for America was to have him arrested.
What's so amazing about the bracelets? I will show you.
Like so many the Tong search without seeing.
It's gone.
Someone has stolen them.
They were here yesterday.
I checked on it after you left, Miss Lane.
Chen.
Mr.
Lieu, where'd you get this? The hooded man left it with us.
Now I can pay back the factory.
My boy can go to school.
Please, Chen, you understand these things.
You can make arrangements to pay back these men so they don't bother me again? Don't worry.
I think I know who to talk to to straighten this out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Where do they work? Son Kwan.
Suddenly there's a thief hitting Son Kwan Industries.
And handing out donations.
We should go at this from another angle.
Maybe we should look into who's behind Son Kwan and how that connects to Perry.
I can tell you who everybody whispers about, but there's never been any proof.
Indentured workers? Sounds like something out of the Middle Ages.
Kind of like a men's club.
Well, what has this got to do with Harlan and my club? The buzz in Chinatown is that Harlan Black is Son Kwan Industries.
Good Lord.
He told me he'd found a way to cut production costs.
He didn't say indentured labor was a part of it.
If an investment sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
I'm just quoting the Wall Street Journal.
As far as the hooded robber was concerned your money was dirty.
- To get your money back we've gotta find him and convince him that you were just an innocent dupe.
No offense.
No, no.
Lois, I deserved that one.
You know, I was wondering, what if Chen is the hooded robber? A mild-mannered reporter really a superhero? Clark, please.
Now, Chen, do I look like a 9-year-old? - No.
- Then why are you telling me fairy tales? You stole this from me.
I told you, I just wanted to help the Lieus.
What, you think I never read Zorro? There's only one reason you're not dead.
You have something I want.
Now, where are the bracelets? I don't know.
Kid, you can either tell me or you can tell Jzuk-Mao.
You recognize the name? Your grandfather practically raised him.
His star pupil, I'm told.
Tenth-level Chi master.
Whatever that is.
This is a mistake.
I'm not the guy who robbed you.
Either you are and it's gonna be one heck of a fight or I'm totally wrong in which case, you're one dead nerd.
I swear, I'm not the guy.
I'm not.
Really.
Even if Chen isn't the robber, he can put the word out that we wanna talk and straighten things out.
We should be digging deeper into Son Kwan trying to get some connection to Black.
This is a waste of time.
- Lois, we flipped a coin.
You lost.
- Let me see the quarter again.
I guess we keep looking.
Make it look like an accident.
Help! No.
No! Help! It's all right.
You're gonna be okay.
All right, people, let's brainstorm.
- Lois! - I got it, chief.
How about we? Do you think you can rustle us up some coffee? Black with sugar.
- Cream.
- Cream, four sugars.
Hold on a second.
Why should I get the coffee? - I got it last time.
- And you're already up.
Oh, boy.
Women.
What? What'd you say? He said, "Women.
" - As in? - As in women.
You know, like table, chair, lamp.
It's a word, Lois.
Like "coffee.
" - She sure is sensitive today.
- That's how they get sometimes, huh? Yeah, but God love them, huh? - Easy on the eyes, hard on the ears, right? - Oh, yeah.
Lois! Coffee! We need coffee! So go get us some coffee! Lois, how about some coffee? - Lois, coffee? - Get your own damn coffee.
What? Coffee.
- Thanks.
- Sure.
I just got off the phone with the hospital.
Chen is gonna be fine.
What about his family? I can't get them on the phone.
None of the neighbors have seen them.
They're probably out looking for those dragon whatevers.
- Hearts.
- Clark.
Dad, what are you doing here? I was wondering if I could leave these packages here while I finish shopping.
Sure.
Thanks.
Hi, Lois.
You look a little pooped.
Martha always spends a day while we're in Metropolis stocking up on linens, kitchenware, stuff like that for the house.
So, what's Mom doing? Well, so far, she's beaten herself at checkers 12 times in a row.
Alice is taking this a whole lot better than I thought.
Well, I mean she's basically barred me from any and all fiduciary responsibility but that's probably a good thing.
You know, I'm real good at making money but holding on to it? It slips through my fingers like water.
There's no real trick to it, chief.
It's just a little common sense and a little research.
But anybody can have bad luck.
I mean, I took a bath on that phone-stock deal last year.
Lost $80,000 like that.
Well, did you make it back? Are you kidding? I got a tip from a buddy, right? Put my cushion fund into minerals tripled what I would've made on the phone deal.
If only it was real money.
Anyway, gotta go.
Lots to do.
- All right, bye, Dad.
- Oh, I almost forgot.
Martha wants to throw a party on Friday nothing fancy, and we'd like you to come, Lois.
- You cooking? - I am.
Wouldn't miss it.
Okay, kids.
What's our status? We've hit a dead end figuring out who that robber is.
- It's gotta be a Ye Chi master.
- I don't think it's the grandfather.
Unless that hobbling with a cane is just an act.
Okay, but we know it's not Chen.
Getting thrown off that building was no act.
We've been running checks on the grandfather's students but that could take forever.
- Our next option is to go after Harlan.
Yeah, but how is that gonna stop the robber? If we help put Harlan away, we might have some leverage to convince the robber to return your money.
- Lf we ever figure out who he is.
- The problem is, from all public records Harlan's attachment to Son Kwan Industries is nonexistent.
Yeah, well, we're gonna need some hard evidence.
I doubt there's much at his factories or businesses.
- What about his home? - Or the club.
The club.
You know, he does an awful lot of business down there.
Including trying to raise money from members like me.
I bet there's something in those computer files.
- Chief, do you think you can get me inside? - Well, yeah.
That's no problem.
We'll just act like you're a prospective member.
I'll show you around, and when the coast is clear l'll duck into Harlan's office.
- Maybe I should do the ducking.
Excuse me.
Lois Lane here.
Remember me? Award-winning investigative reporter, emphasis on "investigative.
" - Specializing in covert break-ins.
- Lois, you may not go on this mission.
What am I supposed to do, sit here knitting, waiting for the hunter-gatherers to return? Clark, explain it to her, will you? Chief, have you ever heard the expression "pulling a Schultz"? Hogan's Heroes.
"I know nothing.
" - "I see nothing.
" - "I hear nothing.
" Yeah.
So we got the pool, gym, billiard room squash courts, racquetball courts and right in there, the president's office.
- Chief, you should let me do this - Now, look, Clark I know you're some kind of hotshot.
But, son, I invented the word "hotshot.
" - I understand that, chief - Hey, Donovan.
- Hi, Perry.
- I want you to meet Clark Kent.
- He's a prospective member.
- Pleasure to meet you.
Think you can show him the squash courts? - Certainly.
- Sure would appreciate it.
Great.
See you in about 20.
We haven't had a squash court since '83.
- Evening, Jim.
- Evening.
- Perry.
- Harlan.
I was just looking for you.
I talked to the insurance company again.
This whole thing is just a nightmare.
I feel so I mean, I know it's not my fault No, Harlan, look, I think you're being too hard on yourself.
- Tell you what.
I'll buy you dinner.
- No.
No.
I can give you a detailed account of why this is such a morass.
- No - I feel terrible, Perry.
Really, I do.
- Really, Harlan - No, no, I insist.
I insist.
Now, wait a minute.
See, I got something - Bye, now, Perry.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Chief, it was just bad luck running into Harlan like that.
I don't know.
Somehow I think I should've found some way around it, you know.
I - Why don't you go back to the Planet.
- Hey, bud, you got a light? Oh, yeah.
On second thought, smoking's a bad habit.
Lois? Oh, Lord, she's gone around the bend.
Hardly.
Harlan's financial records? Lois, you didn't get into my club? - Yep.
- But not the billiard room.
Banged a few balls with a guy named Krell.
- The bar? - Had a few belts.
Charged them to you.
Yeah, but you didn't You didn't go to the? Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Lois, you are amazing.
Hey, what the hell you looking at? It's a girl.
Hey, it's a Lois, tell him you're a girl.
Chief, people are gonna see what they wanna see.
- That's it.
- What? It's not the grandfather or Chen.
It's a master, or maybe somebody who's been around a master their entire life.
Like his granddaughter, Lin Chow.
So it is you.
What you have done is a shameful thing.
You have stolen the dragon's heart.
I'm sorry.
Grandpa, I thought that Do not think.
The long sum is mine to give, not yours to take.
You have dishonored me.
Give them back.
- Lin, no.
- Grandpa.
Jzuk-Mao, to have called you a student is my greatest shame.
Unhand her.
Okay, everybody calm down.
Daddy's home.
Let him go.
Sure.
Just kidding.
Of course I'm not gonna let him go, and there's nothing you can do about it as long as old Jzuk here has got those bracelets on.
And aren't they smart.
Accessories for any and all occasions.
All right, you've got them, now get out.
There's a few other things I'd like to know, like, oh, I don't know where's the rest of the money you stole from me? You'll get it when you let my grandfather go.
You know, I like this.
Your arm's about to get torn off, and you're Little Miss Spunk.
Tell you what, we'll table the money thing for now.
There's something I want even more.
Superman.
Maybe we should try the Chow loft again.
Chen said that she likes to come down to this market at night to buy her grandfather's tea.
This is it right here.
Now, see, part of the key is planning ahead.
- Planning ahead, right.
- You should get into pharmaceuticals.
- It can be risky, but - Jimmy, look.
I don't even have my money back yet.
See, that's what I'm talking about with planning ahead.
You will have your money back.
And when you do you've gotta know what to do with it.
Now, here, I put together this chart to illustrate.
Now, wait.
Jimmy, this goes all the way up to 2024.
Big picture, chief.
I want you thinking big picture.
Please.
I need Lois Lane.
I can't believe, with all those different types of tea, you like lapsang souchong.
- What happened to classic orange pekoe? - Lois! C.
K.
! Black said that unless Superman comes at 11:00 he'll kill Grandpa, and there's nothing I can do to stop him.
- Ten minutes.
- What does he want Superman for? With Superman dead, Harlan's smuggling business gets easier.
That's something the police should know.
I'll be right back.
I fought Superman.
He has a chi of steel.
And if I could show him how to use it, he could beat Jzuk.
I'm sorry, Lin.
I don't know how to call him.
I mean, he usually just shows up when I need him.
And I always will.
Against Jzuk, your strength is your weakness.
He'll use it against you.
How is Superman suppose to fight without being strong? It's five to 11.
If only he had more time to learn.
Which he would if the grandfather wasn't a hostage.
Lois.
Superman has saved us dozens of times.
This is our chance to help him.
Guilt.
The kung fu of emotions.
Remember, the more you fight the more you give him.
And the reverse is also true.
Don't make a sound.
We're too late.
Eleven o'clock, good.
I like my superheroes punctual.
Jzuk.
A contest.
Super strength against super chi.
Personally, I'd put my money on Jzuk.
Wouldn't you, Miss Lane? You are Lois Lane, aren't you? A great reporter, but a lousy commando.
Nobody's perfect.
You're a good dresser but a lousy human being.
Really? You like the suit? I've come to take the dragon's heart back to its rightful owner.
May I have it, please? Don't say I didn't ask nicely.
All right.
Just in time, baby.
Kill him.
Jzuk, get up! Jzuk-Mao, you have lost.
Do what's honorable.
Give up the dragon bracelets.
Oh, please.
Give me a break with this bowing crap.
Come on, Superman.
You wanna get crazy, huh? Come on.
What the? The power.
He cannot control it.
It controls him.
That'll be Clark with the police.
Everybody back up.
Not bad.
Thank you.
But they are not mine.
They belong to Lin my granddaughter.
Tenth-level Ye Chi master.
Glad we're on the same side now.
Smells great, Mr.
Kent.
Since Lin returned all the money, the police aren't pressing any charges.
Except against Harlan.
Lots of charges there.
Jimmy is gonna start investing Perry's money tomorrow morning.
And Perry asked me to tell you, Lois, that he has reviewed his financial records and has a little more cash to play with every month than he thought now that he has quit the men's club.
Well, welcome to the 20th century, chief.
Okay, folks, here we are.
Hot stuff.
- Eat hearty.
- Oh, Jonathan, it's beautiful.
It's delicious.
Dad, I am impressed.
It's beginner's luck.
Beginner's nothing.
Mr.
Kent, I haven't had Chinese food this good since I've never had Chinese food this good.
You look a little perturbed.
Is something wrong? Martha, do I really just sit around all day and play checkers? No.
Sometimes you watch football.
Read.
Take amazingly long naps.
When we're visiting Clark.
But at home, you're up at 4 a.
m.
Every morning running a farm.
Well, so are you.
Honey, the point of all this isn't that I work harder than you but that we both work hard.
Except when we're visiting our son.
You know, this was fun.
I'm almost sorry things have to go back to how they were.
Oh, they don't have to.
What? You can keep making the meals.
You're good.
- Martha, I've got a confession.
- But personally l'd order from the Sichuan Palace.
Now, the House of Hunan is great but all this garlic just gives me gas.
Mom we're in front of company here.
I'm sorry.
She's family.
It's not me, it's my wife, Alice.
Perry, Alice is a woman.
Safety, security, 3 percent, FDIC insured.
- It's how they think.
- Yeah, I know that.
You've seen how much I've made for the other members.
You did okay with that investment we tested the waters with.
Listen, I did more than okay.
I just wanna know that we're talking the minimum downside here.
Harlan you've got a sizeable chunk of my life savings.
It's only natural to have these kinds of fears, but, Perry, I'm telling you this is a brand-new way to manufacture microchips for pennies.
And unlike the typical Silicon Valley venture all our basic managerials are farmed out to low-cost specialization services.
So the pension alone will save us To get us into mass production fast, we need equipment.
Now, we've found an overseas company that's gone belly-up willing to sell its hardware, but they'll only deal in cash or bonds.
Wait a minute.
Are you telling me all my money is sitting there in bearer bonds, good as cash? Relax.
Perry, this is not my first rodeo.
I've got an armed guard on the way.
Once in transit, it's all fully insured and Well, there he is now.
Nothing like a single-malt Scotch, huh? What in the hell? You all right, Harlan? Well, you're a little late, pal.
That safe is locked and secured.
There's not a chance you're gonna get anything out of there.
Oh, my God.
Harlan, this is bad, isn't it? Oh, no.
So this hooded figure, now, did you get a good look at his face? - He was wearing a hood.
- Oh, right.
Yeah, a hood.
- Is this decaf? - What? Because I just can't take all that caffeine anymore.
I used to drink three, four cups every morning Do you mind if we get back to my robbery here? - Yeah.
Sorry.
- All right, now, see the way he stunned me, I never felt anything like that before.
Are these nonfat? I'm trying to cut down.
Will somebody get this man some nonfat muffins?! - Thank you.
Looks like post-traumatic stress is setting in.
Can you blame him? He has no idea if he'll ever see his life savings again.
Listen, can you do me a favor? Go in there with me.
He yells less when you're around.
- Boy, if I get less, I'd hate to see more.
- Olsen! - Muffins! - Yes, you would.
Realistically, Mr.
White, this is a big city.
There's a robbery every 10 minutes.
My advice is don't hold your breath.
That's it? - What kind of bonds were they again? - Bearer bonds.
- Bearer.
- Futures, chief.
That's the way to go.
- Isn't that risky? - Yeah, it can be, but the returns are huge.
I made 15 thou last week.
You made $ 15,000 last week on futures, and we've been paying for your parking? It's not real.
I do it on my computer.
It's my hobby.
My brother put me into - How did he know what you needed? - He asked.
Okay, see you.
- You'll be in touch? - About what? - About what? - Oh, right.
Yeah, sure.
Judas Priest.
Oh, boy.
Well, I'm done for, kids.
Those bonds were as good as cash.
They're gone.
They're not insured.
I suck up enough courage to tell Alice she's gonna boot me out the door faster than you can say "YMCA.
" Don't start packing yet, chief.
Clark and I can try and find this guy.
Well, I can't ask you to do that for me.
- Why? - Daily Planet.
Well, because it would be using Planet employees to help me solve my own personal problems.
I can't do that.
Chief, it's your wife.
Go.
Alice, how you doing, honey? That's fine, Mr.
Mallory.
You can go on up now.
Thank you, Charles.
Hi, we're Clark Kent and Lois Lane from the Daily Planet.
Perry White called and said we were coming.
Let's see.
Here you are, Mr.
Kent.
You can go on up.
- Thank you.
- I'm sorry, ma'am.
- You're gonna have to wait here.
- What? - It's a gentlemen's club.
- I'm a reporter on a story.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
Will you let go of my arm, please? Will you get off the step, please? Yes, I'm a female.
It's probably been a few years since you've seen one.
He's just trying to do his job.
- Why don't I go upstairs? - Are we partners or not? If you go without me, you're saying there is nothing wrong with this discrimination.
Fine.
Fine, what do you want us to do? We don't have to go in there.
Get the police report.
That'll tell us everything.
Okay.
Typical.
- Excuse me? - Lois, he's just trying to provoke you.
- Are you implying something? - And he's doing a great job.
That women are volatile and unstable prone to emotional outbursts? Let me tell you something.
We don't form organizations the sole purpose of which is to hide from the opposite sex.
I'm gonna go get a hot dog.
Some guy in a Halloween suit sneaks into my club busts into my safe and, trick or treat, steals my money.
Our people are out in force.
We should have a lead by Superman.
I heard about the robbery.
I thought I might look around.
The police have already been over the place, but of course your help would be more than welcome.
Have you ever thought of joining a men's club, Superman? Might be nice for you to have a place to relax where you could take your cape off and just be one of the guys.
Thanks, but I don't really have the time.
We have a full gym.
- What is this? - What? You mind if I take this with me and see what I can find out? Be my guest.
And if you change your mind about the club Maybe the news hasn't penetrated these thick walls but, you know, women actually have the vote now.
You are blocking the entrance and you're creating a nuisance.
A nuisance.
I'm a nuisance.
I could picket this place, call my congresswoman - Fine.
- Lois, look at this.
- I'm not finished with you yet.
- Fine.
I got this off a guard that I bribed inside.
He said that they found this design etched into the safe.
What is it? Well, see the dragon symbol, a yin-yang? They're power totems.
Some of the more obscure Chinese martial arts use them.
The design is cut into an artifact, like a necklace or a ring to bestow power upon its wearer.
If it's obscure, how do you know about it? I traveled through China.
I know some of them, not all of them.
I don't recognize this one, but I know who would.
- Chen Chow.
- Who? Chen Chow, a friend of mine.
The editor of the Chinatown Daily.
His grandfather and sister, Lin, are really big into this stuff.
- What? - My folks are coming to town.
- I have to let them into my apartment.
- You go ahead.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Where'd you say this guy Chen lived? The Heart of the Dragon? What is that, some kind of Bruce Lee movie? It's no joke.
You saw what he did to the safe.
He's a 10th-level Ye Chi master and with the dragon's heart bracelet, he's unstoppable.
Excuse me, did I just fall through a rabbit hole? I want this yahoo found.
And then I want him hurt.
And then I wanna dance at his funeral.
Are you reading me on this? Yes.
But I don't think you're reading me.
Hi.
I'm Lois Lane.
Clark Kent called.
I have an appointment with Chen Chow.
- Hi.
You must be Lois.
I'm Chen.
- Hi.
Nice to finally meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.
So I hear the hooded figure strikes again.
Yeah.
Clark said you'd heard about this guy? He's hit four Chinatown businesses in the last week.
But this is his first robbery outside Chinatown.
- Same m.
o.
A loan, big cash, no clues.
- Actually, one clue.
We found this.
We were wondering if you know what it means.
I don't know.
Hey, Grandpa? You recognize this? This one's heart and head are in different places.
That's good.
If my heart was in my head, I wouldn't have room for my brain.
It is the dragon's heart, the long sum.
Power totem of the Ye Chi discipline.
Two bracelets worn on the wrists taken from the Tao Monastery many years ago.
Where are they now? Only the one who took them knows.
Look, Chen, if you could get me a list of the robberies in Chinatown and the dates - I'll fax it to your office.
Thanks.
How do you know Clark? We go to the same optometrist.
Excuse me.
It was a pleasure to meet you, sir.
I just wanted to say that I've studied a little karate and tai chi.
I was watching you with your students.
I'd be interested in taking Women are not allowed in the master class.
Clark, I'm sorry the plane was so late.
Next time, maybe we'll just have you fly us in.
Well, you'd certainly be a lot gentler with our luggage.
What a day this has been! What a rare mood I'm in.
Hi, Lois.
How are you? You look a little tense.
We're investigating this story at the Metropolis Men's Club.
When Clark and I get there, they won't let me in.
Why ever not? Because I'm a woman.
And at your friend Chen's, I find out I can't take Ye Chi because I'm a woman.
- That's awful.
- But you can understand why it's like that.
- Dad.
- I'm talking about the men's club part.
You know, after a hard day, a man likes a little time alone with his buddies.
A hard day? So you're saying that men endure intrinsically harder days than women.
Well Now, Lois Tell her what I mean, Martha.
No, Jonathan, you tell me.
- What are you saying? - What I'm saying is men work.
And women work, of course.
And Clark, help me out, huh? I know nothing.
Excuse me.
- Hello? - So you'd be willing to switch jobs with me then, say, for the three days that we're here in Metropolis? Okay.
For the next three days, I'll do your chores, you do mine.
Deal? Deal.
My to-do list.
Okay.
Okay.
Number one, shop for dinner.
Okay, I'm off to the market.
I guess I should start getting busy doing Jonathan's chores.
Great.
Thanks.
That was Jimmy.
He got your fax from Chen.
Did a background check.
Turns out all four Chinatown factories robbed by the hooded figure are subsidiaries of the same Chinatown company: Son Kwan Industries.
So we'd like to talk to someone here at Son Kwan Industries about the robberies.
We understand you've been hit a lot recently.
It's just not your day with doormen.
And in exchange for your passage here you agree to work in our factories, live in our housing and set aside 50 percent of your wages until the debt is repaid.
The boy, we were hoping he would go to school.
Oh, he will.
As soon as he's worked off his debt.
- But he's - lf you don't wanna work here there's no problem sending you back.
There's still half a day left.
Go see the foreman, and he'll get you on the line.
- I've just brought in another family.
- We need 50 more.
A hundred.
Every day.
I could bring in thousands if only Superman didn't patrol the harbors.
Yeah, yeah.
Angels.
Pinheads.
Welcome to the wonderful world of "if.
" Tell me you've got good news about these robberies.
I do.
The dragon's heart bracelets were brought here, from China by a family that's known to us.
- The bracelets - Bracelets again.
What, are you working up a drag act? I don't care about bracelets.
You're into women's accessories, fine.
Shop on your own time.
But find this guy that's taking my money! Give me the gun.
Go! Around the corner! Look! It's the hooded Drop the bags and come with me.
Hey, I think your bracelet guy's about to have his butt handed to him faster than a speeding bullet.
That's great.
Superman, are you all right? Fine.
I'm a little mad, but I'll be better as soon as this guy's in jail.
You were saying something about women's accessories? - He can beat Superman.
- Wearing the Heart of the Dragon a Ye Chi master could kill Superman.
A dead Superman.
You know what that is? Good for business.
Nobody flying over the harbor with x-ray vision.
We could fill factories by the boatloads.
Welcome to that world of "if.
" Get them.
I don't care what it costs or who dies.
I want those bracelets.
Let's go! - Are you sure it wasn't kryptonite? - I'm sure, Dad.
Do you suppose he could be some kind of superbeing? Well, he wasn't strong.
He was just I don't understand what he really was at all.
- Light bulb.
- Your job.
Right.
Clark, where do you keep the light bulbs? I don't know, Dad.
Mom bought the last box.
They're in the storage space, under the window in the bedroom.
Dad, what happened to this shirt? What do you mean? - It was white.
- I just washed it.
It should be clean.
Well, it is clean, Dad, only now it's pink.
You didn't wash this with my cape, did you? Can't you fix it with your heat vision? Dad, there's not a superpower on earth that can get this out.
Speaking of heat vision, do you smell something burning? Dad, my cape! I got it.
It bugged me all night, and then I finally figured it out.
Hey, nice shirt.
You look good in pink.
Thanks, Lois.
Come on in.
So the moves that the hooded figure was using? I recognized them.
They're the exact moves that Chen's grandfather taught.
The Ye Chi.
Let's get out of here.
You may not find that quite so inconvenient.
- Oh, no.
- Chen? Lois, I think I hear something.
- Chen, what happened? - Four guys broke in, tore the place up.
- Who were they? - The Tong.
- The Chinese mafia? - What did they want? They think we have the dragon heart bracelets Grandpa was talking about.
That's part of the reason we're here.
The hooded robber hit Son Kwan Industries.
Lois saw him using the Ye Chi moves that you taught and he was wearing the bracelets.
- He threw Superman around like a rag doll and disappeared.
- I wouldn't say like a rag doll.
A Ye Chi master utilizes many devices: A smoke that paralyzes, a sound that confuses a dust that can create an image so real that even another Ye Chi master would be fooled.
And the dragon hearts bracelet? Your chi is strong.
Very, very strong.
Yes, I trust you.
I have the bracelets.
Grandpa, for real? When my grandfather died, he gave them to me to hold for the next worthy one.
I thought it would be my student, Jzuk-Mao but he was seduced by evil and greed.
The last thing I did before leaving China with my grandchildren for America was to have him arrested.
What's so amazing about the bracelets? I will show you.
Like so many the Tong search without seeing.
It's gone.
Someone has stolen them.
They were here yesterday.
I checked on it after you left, Miss Lane.
Chen.
Mr.
Lieu, where'd you get this? The hooded man left it with us.
Now I can pay back the factory.
My boy can go to school.
Please, Chen, you understand these things.
You can make arrangements to pay back these men so they don't bother me again? Don't worry.
I think I know who to talk to to straighten this out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Where do they work? Son Kwan.
Suddenly there's a thief hitting Son Kwan Industries.
And handing out donations.
We should go at this from another angle.
Maybe we should look into who's behind Son Kwan and how that connects to Perry.
I can tell you who everybody whispers about, but there's never been any proof.
Indentured workers? Sounds like something out of the Middle Ages.
Kind of like a men's club.
Well, what has this got to do with Harlan and my club? The buzz in Chinatown is that Harlan Black is Son Kwan Industries.
Good Lord.
He told me he'd found a way to cut production costs.
He didn't say indentured labor was a part of it.
If an investment sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
I'm just quoting the Wall Street Journal.
As far as the hooded robber was concerned your money was dirty.
- To get your money back we've gotta find him and convince him that you were just an innocent dupe.
No offense.
No, no.
Lois, I deserved that one.
You know, I was wondering, what if Chen is the hooded robber? A mild-mannered reporter really a superhero? Clark, please.
Now, Chen, do I look like a 9-year-old? - No.
- Then why are you telling me fairy tales? You stole this from me.
I told you, I just wanted to help the Lieus.
What, you think I never read Zorro? There's only one reason you're not dead.
You have something I want.
Now, where are the bracelets? I don't know.
Kid, you can either tell me or you can tell Jzuk-Mao.
You recognize the name? Your grandfather practically raised him.
His star pupil, I'm told.
Tenth-level Chi master.
Whatever that is.
This is a mistake.
I'm not the guy who robbed you.
Either you are and it's gonna be one heck of a fight or I'm totally wrong in which case, you're one dead nerd.
I swear, I'm not the guy.
I'm not.
Really.
Even if Chen isn't the robber, he can put the word out that we wanna talk and straighten things out.
We should be digging deeper into Son Kwan trying to get some connection to Black.
This is a waste of time.
- Lois, we flipped a coin.
You lost.
- Let me see the quarter again.
I guess we keep looking.
Make it look like an accident.
Help! No.
No! Help! It's all right.
You're gonna be okay.
All right, people, let's brainstorm.
- Lois! - I got it, chief.
How about we? Do you think you can rustle us up some coffee? Black with sugar.
- Cream.
- Cream, four sugars.
Hold on a second.
Why should I get the coffee? - I got it last time.
- And you're already up.
Oh, boy.
Women.
What? What'd you say? He said, "Women.
" - As in? - As in women.
You know, like table, chair, lamp.
It's a word, Lois.
Like "coffee.
" - She sure is sensitive today.
- That's how they get sometimes, huh? Yeah, but God love them, huh? - Easy on the eyes, hard on the ears, right? - Oh, yeah.
Lois! Coffee! We need coffee! So go get us some coffee! Lois, how about some coffee? - Lois, coffee? - Get your own damn coffee.
What? Coffee.
- Thanks.
- Sure.
I just got off the phone with the hospital.
Chen is gonna be fine.
What about his family? I can't get them on the phone.
None of the neighbors have seen them.
They're probably out looking for those dragon whatevers.
- Hearts.
- Clark.
Dad, what are you doing here? I was wondering if I could leave these packages here while I finish shopping.
Sure.
Thanks.
Hi, Lois.
You look a little pooped.
Martha always spends a day while we're in Metropolis stocking up on linens, kitchenware, stuff like that for the house.
So, what's Mom doing? Well, so far, she's beaten herself at checkers 12 times in a row.
Alice is taking this a whole lot better than I thought.
Well, I mean she's basically barred me from any and all fiduciary responsibility but that's probably a good thing.
You know, I'm real good at making money but holding on to it? It slips through my fingers like water.
There's no real trick to it, chief.
It's just a little common sense and a little research.
But anybody can have bad luck.
I mean, I took a bath on that phone-stock deal last year.
Lost $80,000 like that.
Well, did you make it back? Are you kidding? I got a tip from a buddy, right? Put my cushion fund into minerals tripled what I would've made on the phone deal.
If only it was real money.
Anyway, gotta go.
Lots to do.
- All right, bye, Dad.
- Oh, I almost forgot.
Martha wants to throw a party on Friday nothing fancy, and we'd like you to come, Lois.
- You cooking? - I am.
Wouldn't miss it.
Okay, kids.
What's our status? We've hit a dead end figuring out who that robber is.
- It's gotta be a Ye Chi master.
- I don't think it's the grandfather.
Unless that hobbling with a cane is just an act.
Okay, but we know it's not Chen.
Getting thrown off that building was no act.
We've been running checks on the grandfather's students but that could take forever.
- Our next option is to go after Harlan.
Yeah, but how is that gonna stop the robber? If we help put Harlan away, we might have some leverage to convince the robber to return your money.
- Lf we ever figure out who he is.
- The problem is, from all public records Harlan's attachment to Son Kwan Industries is nonexistent.
Yeah, well, we're gonna need some hard evidence.
I doubt there's much at his factories or businesses.
- What about his home? - Or the club.
The club.
You know, he does an awful lot of business down there.
Including trying to raise money from members like me.
I bet there's something in those computer files.
- Chief, do you think you can get me inside? - Well, yeah.
That's no problem.
We'll just act like you're a prospective member.
I'll show you around, and when the coast is clear l'll duck into Harlan's office.
- Maybe I should do the ducking.
Excuse me.
Lois Lane here.
Remember me? Award-winning investigative reporter, emphasis on "investigative.
" - Specializing in covert break-ins.
- Lois, you may not go on this mission.
What am I supposed to do, sit here knitting, waiting for the hunter-gatherers to return? Clark, explain it to her, will you? Chief, have you ever heard the expression "pulling a Schultz"? Hogan's Heroes.
"I know nothing.
" - "I see nothing.
" - "I hear nothing.
" Yeah.
So we got the pool, gym, billiard room squash courts, racquetball courts and right in there, the president's office.
- Chief, you should let me do this - Now, look, Clark I know you're some kind of hotshot.
But, son, I invented the word "hotshot.
" - I understand that, chief - Hey, Donovan.
- Hi, Perry.
- I want you to meet Clark Kent.
- He's a prospective member.
- Pleasure to meet you.
Think you can show him the squash courts? - Certainly.
- Sure would appreciate it.
Great.
See you in about 20.
We haven't had a squash court since '83.
- Evening, Jim.
- Evening.
- Perry.
- Harlan.
I was just looking for you.
I talked to the insurance company again.
This whole thing is just a nightmare.
I feel so I mean, I know it's not my fault No, Harlan, look, I think you're being too hard on yourself.
- Tell you what.
I'll buy you dinner.
- No.
No.
I can give you a detailed account of why this is such a morass.
- No - I feel terrible, Perry.
Really, I do.
- Really, Harlan - No, no, I insist.
I insist.
Now, wait a minute.
See, I got something - Bye, now, Perry.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Chief, it was just bad luck running into Harlan like that.
I don't know.
Somehow I think I should've found some way around it, you know.
I - Why don't you go back to the Planet.
- Hey, bud, you got a light? Oh, yeah.
On second thought, smoking's a bad habit.
Lois? Oh, Lord, she's gone around the bend.
Hardly.
Harlan's financial records? Lois, you didn't get into my club? - Yep.
- But not the billiard room.
Banged a few balls with a guy named Krell.
- The bar? - Had a few belts.
Charged them to you.
Yeah, but you didn't You didn't go to the? Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Lois, you are amazing.
Hey, what the hell you looking at? It's a girl.
Hey, it's a Lois, tell him you're a girl.
Chief, people are gonna see what they wanna see.
- That's it.
- What? It's not the grandfather or Chen.
It's a master, or maybe somebody who's been around a master their entire life.
Like his granddaughter, Lin Chow.
So it is you.
What you have done is a shameful thing.
You have stolen the dragon's heart.
I'm sorry.
Grandpa, I thought that Do not think.
The long sum is mine to give, not yours to take.
You have dishonored me.
Give them back.
- Lin, no.
- Grandpa.
Jzuk-Mao, to have called you a student is my greatest shame.
Unhand her.
Okay, everybody calm down.
Daddy's home.
Let him go.
Sure.
Just kidding.
Of course I'm not gonna let him go, and there's nothing you can do about it as long as old Jzuk here has got those bracelets on.
And aren't they smart.
Accessories for any and all occasions.
All right, you've got them, now get out.
There's a few other things I'd like to know, like, oh, I don't know where's the rest of the money you stole from me? You'll get it when you let my grandfather go.
You know, I like this.
Your arm's about to get torn off, and you're Little Miss Spunk.
Tell you what, we'll table the money thing for now.
There's something I want even more.
Superman.
Maybe we should try the Chow loft again.
Chen said that she likes to come down to this market at night to buy her grandfather's tea.
This is it right here.
Now, see, part of the key is planning ahead.
- Planning ahead, right.
- You should get into pharmaceuticals.
- It can be risky, but - Jimmy, look.
I don't even have my money back yet.
See, that's what I'm talking about with planning ahead.
You will have your money back.
And when you do you've gotta know what to do with it.
Now, here, I put together this chart to illustrate.
Now, wait.
Jimmy, this goes all the way up to 2024.
Big picture, chief.
I want you thinking big picture.
Please.
I need Lois Lane.
I can't believe, with all those different types of tea, you like lapsang souchong.
- What happened to classic orange pekoe? - Lois! C.
K.
! Black said that unless Superman comes at 11:00 he'll kill Grandpa, and there's nothing I can do to stop him.
- Ten minutes.
- What does he want Superman for? With Superman dead, Harlan's smuggling business gets easier.
That's something the police should know.
I'll be right back.
I fought Superman.
He has a chi of steel.
And if I could show him how to use it, he could beat Jzuk.
I'm sorry, Lin.
I don't know how to call him.
I mean, he usually just shows up when I need him.
And I always will.
Against Jzuk, your strength is your weakness.
He'll use it against you.
How is Superman suppose to fight without being strong? It's five to 11.
If only he had more time to learn.
Which he would if the grandfather wasn't a hostage.
Lois.
Superman has saved us dozens of times.
This is our chance to help him.
Guilt.
The kung fu of emotions.
Remember, the more you fight the more you give him.
And the reverse is also true.
Don't make a sound.
We're too late.
Eleven o'clock, good.
I like my superheroes punctual.
Jzuk.
A contest.
Super strength against super chi.
Personally, I'd put my money on Jzuk.
Wouldn't you, Miss Lane? You are Lois Lane, aren't you? A great reporter, but a lousy commando.
Nobody's perfect.
You're a good dresser but a lousy human being.
Really? You like the suit? I've come to take the dragon's heart back to its rightful owner.
May I have it, please? Don't say I didn't ask nicely.
All right.
Just in time, baby.
Kill him.
Jzuk, get up! Jzuk-Mao, you have lost.
Do what's honorable.
Give up the dragon bracelets.
Oh, please.
Give me a break with this bowing crap.
Come on, Superman.
You wanna get crazy, huh? Come on.
What the? The power.
He cannot control it.
It controls him.
That'll be Clark with the police.
Everybody back up.
Not bad.
Thank you.
But they are not mine.
They belong to Lin my granddaughter.
Tenth-level Ye Chi master.
Glad we're on the same side now.
Smells great, Mr.
Kent.
Since Lin returned all the money, the police aren't pressing any charges.
Except against Harlan.
Lots of charges there.
Jimmy is gonna start investing Perry's money tomorrow morning.
And Perry asked me to tell you, Lois, that he has reviewed his financial records and has a little more cash to play with every month than he thought now that he has quit the men's club.
Well, welcome to the 20th century, chief.
Okay, folks, here we are.
Hot stuff.
- Eat hearty.
- Oh, Jonathan, it's beautiful.
It's delicious.
Dad, I am impressed.
It's beginner's luck.
Beginner's nothing.
Mr.
Kent, I haven't had Chinese food this good since I've never had Chinese food this good.
You look a little perturbed.
Is something wrong? Martha, do I really just sit around all day and play checkers? No.
Sometimes you watch football.
Read.
Take amazingly long naps.
When we're visiting Clark.
But at home, you're up at 4 a.
m.
Every morning running a farm.
Well, so are you.
Honey, the point of all this isn't that I work harder than you but that we both work hard.
Except when we're visiting our son.
You know, this was fun.
I'm almost sorry things have to go back to how they were.
Oh, they don't have to.
What? You can keep making the meals.
You're good.
- Martha, I've got a confession.
- But personally l'd order from the Sichuan Palace.
Now, the House of Hunan is great but all this garlic just gives me gas.
Mom we're in front of company here.
I'm sorry.
She's family.