Offspring (2010) s02e11 Episode Script

II don't know what this is.
You and me.
Takes the one, $696,000 $700,000! Sold! I-I lost a baby recently.
I lost my son.
At birth.
- Will you marry me? - Oh, marry me! Look, I'll probably work right through.
I'll call you.
He told me about his ex-wife and and losing his son.
Their son? Do you know what this breakfast is about? No.
And what is that you're wearing? - It's a small sombrero.
- Oh.
Of course.
I'm just trying to give Mick's business a dash of style.
He's got some rich new customer today.
Billie said croissants.
Oh, right.
OK.
Heya.
But I also need Amazing.
Hey, just wait until everyone's here before we tell them, OK? OK, OK.
Stop saying that.
Oh.
- Oh, I didn't know you were coming.
- Hey, Darcy.
- And a warm welcome it is.
- I asked him.
Oh.
Hey, Dad.
Nina and Jimmy are bringing croissants.
This is natural.
You two OK? Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
- Oh, where are the croissants? - Where's Jimmy? Oh, Jimmy's with the croissants and the bakery girl.
- When's he coming? - Why are we here? It was a lovely dinner last night, Nina.
Oh, thank you.
Patrick's a keeper.
He's not married, right? No secret wife? No, Mum.
He he's not.
He was married.
He's not anymore.
What baby? God, you've got a big mouth! Oh.
I didn't know it was a secret.
What baby? He and his ex-wife had a stillborn baby.
Oh, dear.
- Yeah.
- I wish you'd told me.
Well, I didn't actually know, Mum.
He chose to share that with Billie.
He told me last night.
It really helped me.
Don't get weird about the fact he didn't tell you.
You're getting weird about the fact he didn't tell you, aren't you? No.
No, I'm not.
You're doing that weird jiggy thing with your feet and your eyes are all twitchy.
No, no.
I-I No, it's fine.
It's OK.
It's a terrible thing, and he probably feels uncomfortable talking about it.
No, wait a minute.
Don't you two pick up the keys to your new house today? We do.
We do, we do.
Just for the record, you can't afford that house.
The record or the broken record, Mum? You have mentioned it.
We have enough for the house and $3,412 left for the wedding.
What wedding? Our wedding! Ah! - Oh! - Oh, darling! Yeah, we're getting married! Thanks, mate.
Good for you.
Why are we all hugging? Is Grandma dead? Oh, my God.
They all know about me and Patrick.
I forgot.
Patrick and Nina sitting in a tree F-U-C-K-I-N-G.
It'll be fine.
They're professionals.
Nina.
- Hi.
Uh, shenanigans in 3, jiggery-pokery 4, flat-out bedlam in 5.
- OK.
- And Nina, the Love Shack called.
They want to speak to you and Patrick immediately.
Patrick and Nina sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G I, N, G.
Could have been worse.
Hello.
Is-is Patrick still here? - What, still here? - He hasn't arrived yet.
Didn't he get called in last night? - No.
- Oh Nina? - Huh? Mmm.
Can I just have a a quiet word, quick, uh - Uh - Yes.
Sure.
Absolutely.
Uh, it's come to my attention, possibly due to all the songs and, uh, rhymes alluding to it that you have formed a relationship with Patrick? - Yes.
- Oh.
You run fast, Nina.
Um, no, I don't.
Dr Chris Havel, Dr Fraser King and now Patrick.
Oh, God! He thinks I'm the hospital bike! Fresh meat.
I'm not a slut.
That's not what I meant.
Nina, uh Never mind.
I just want to hug him.
Can I do that? Hi.
Look, sorry to abandon you last night.
OK.
He made up an excuse to get away last night.
What's the graceful thing to say? It's fine.
You had to work.
You missed a great tiramisu.
- That's a shame.
- Mmm.
- I have to scrub in.
- Patrick.
- Yeah? - Thanks for talking to Billie.
- Uh - No problem.
I don't know what you said, but it worked.
She and Mick are engaged.
- That's great! - I know.
- Huh.
- Oh! And she told me about your conversation.
About your baby.
Yeah.
I thought she might.
I'm I'm just I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
OK.
- Yes, Mum? - You forgot your mail again.
Oh.
Shit.
Sorry.
Well, you don't live here.
Change your address! - I took the liberty of opening it.
- Mum! Well, some of it looked official.
There's three parking fines, overdue, to add to the two speeding fines - in my car.
And a girl called Alice sent you a photo of her genitalia from Spain.
- Redhead? - I'm not answering that question.
OK.
Thanks, Mum.
You're the best.
Hey, fish.
Here you go, fish.
Hey.
Check out the fish.
Koi.
The owner wants to know where you got your hat.
It's not a hat.
It's a small sombrero.
OK.
Well, look, we'd better get to work.
- We've got to impress this guy.
- My sombrero's not enough? It's a $25,000 job, mate.
It'll take more than your sombrero.
Yes, brother-in-law.
- Hello, fiancee.
- I hate that word.
My betrothed.
Me bitch.
That's better.
I'm holding the keys to our incredible new house.
Get your arse over here and carry me inside.
Uh Billie, I can't.
I have to - I want to do it on the kitchen floor.
- 15 minutes.
Uh I've got to go pick up some sulfite.
After you have sex with my sister or before? Probably after.
Oh! - Come on.
- Hey! Hey! Sorry? Pick your dog's crap up off my path! Oh.
Sorry.
I haven't got a doggy bag.
- You've got a purse.
- My purse? You're joking! Do I look like I'm joking? Come on.
Quickly.
Hey! Hey! HEY! Hi.
I'm Dr Proudman.
This is Jane and John.
- Hi.
- Hi.
John, could you give us a minute? Ladies' stuff.
Thanks.
Hello.
OK, um my baby, it might be the wrong colour.
The what? No, not wrong.
Just Maori.
Is there any way of telling before the baby comes out? N-no.
So, you your husband doesn't know? Oh, look, I'm pretty sure it's his, but look, just in case it does come out the wrong colour You can't actually call the baby the "wrong colour".
Nationality.
You could tell him it's a statistical anomaly.
A statistical anomaly? Yeah - like, one in every thousand babies is Maori? Yeah.
He's not that smart.
I think he'd probably go for it.
Oh, I can't do that.
You'd rather break his heart? And break up a marriage? I love him! I can't believe that she's not going to be honest with him.
Well, it's her choice.
Maybe she thinks if he finds out, it'll hurt him.
He's going to find out anyway.
Why? Because having a secret is like carrying a box and pretending you're not? A box? Mmm.
And every time her husband tries to get close to her, he Well, he can't, because of the box.
Well, no, I meant, more The worst part about it is that he doesn't even know she's got a box.
No, he well, he just wonders why he can't get close.
And everyone's left feeling slightly alone.
Exactly.
And it's not as if the box is out of sight somewhere in a back room.
It's right there, front and centre, which is why it's better to be honest about everything.
You know you just did a complete - Did I? - Mmm.
Oh.
Where were you? Just meeting the neighbours.
Why's your shirt all ripped? Come on.
Let's go.
- Hey.
- Whoo! Ah, yes! Go.
Key, key.
Hey.
Are you avoiding me? No.
Yeah.
I'm just going to come out and say it.
I-I understand Well, no, I don't l don't understand.
I'm I'm not really, uh I'm couldn't possibly Nina! Babbling when you need clear sentences.
I found out something about you, something huge, and I found out second-hand, and that's that's OK.
Grief is personal and private.
And I also know that you didn't get called in to work last night.
I'm not angry.
But it does make me think that you're pulling away from me.
So I just I want You can talk to me.
About anything.
I like it when you do.
I just hope you know that.
- OK.
- OK.
Dammit! Oh, well, Jenny, while we are talking, I did also want to complain about those croissants.
Oh, no, they just lacked the expected flakiness, you know? No, no, no.
It's OK.
I am prepared to give you another chance.
Do you home-deliver? Really? Only at night-time? Alright.
Well, it Shit.
I'll call you back.
Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh! I'm scared.
Why? 'Cause I'm so happy.
Good.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to christen the house.
We just did! I can't believe you kept your socks on.
Yeah - so I could do this.
Whoo! Oh, you right? Hit the door.
Yee-hee! Oh! Oh.
Oh! You lazy prick.
Hey.
We're trying to make a good impression.
Hi.
Hey.
My son's name was Gus.
Oh.
Patrick, you don't have to No, I do.
Yeah.
I think I do.
I used to talk to Jodie's stomach.
I'd say, "Now hurry up, Gus.
"You're going to miss the bus, Gus.
" And we got the bedroom painted.
And a feeding chair.
It was her final checks.
All systems go.
Then a few days before he was due Jodie said to me, "He's not moving.
" He'd got the cord wrapped around his neck and He had long fingers.
And these little ears like shells.
You tell yourself these stories.
They become memories.
But they never happened.
You walk out of the hospital and you've lost something, without ever having it.
Oh! Hello.
Oh, hi.
Nina.
Sister.
Yes.
Do you have an apron, tongs and some cream? Oh, um I'll have to I don't know.
Who are you? I'm Jenny.
Ah.
Tongs.
Do you think yoghurt will work? Yep.
I don't know.
Ah! Jimmy! What's that little outfit you're wearing, eh? Yep? Two things.
One - who's she? Jenny from the bakery.
She delivers.
What? That's gross.
Second thing.
Yep? The parrot.
In the suit.
Jimmy! It works! I just found him.
He was walking along the street and followed me home.
You should have asked me if we could have a pet.
Oh, Nee, seriously - how cute is he? Isn't he meant to be in a cage, or isn't he going to? No, that's the beauty of the suit.
It has an in-built nappy.
NASA designed it.
$300.
$300? In-built nappy? Do we have have to change it? Yeah.
We can draw up a roster system.
And be careful when you open the windows, yeah? So, you can't pay me rent, but you bought a suit for a parrot? Well, you said rent was optional.
I said, when you could.
Right.
Well, I'm I'm a little bit short.
Because you bought a suit for a parrot? Think about all the joy he'll give us! Say 'latte' to him.
I've gotta get back up.
Latte.
Oh, it's cool.
And it poops heaps.
Does it? Yeah.
But it's got this, like, tiny little nappy that's really difficult to change.
Oh.
Bet it is.
Yeah.
How's the new house? Oh, Billie seems like she might be a new person, she loves it that much.
Yeah? What kind of person? Nice.
Oh.
Probably just a phase.
Yeah.
Whoa.
You right? What's going on? You'll be right.
Um II forgot my, um tool.
I'll be at the ute.
Just go with your mum for a second, alright? Mate, what's going on? I was going to ask you the same thing.
You've been here one day.
One day.
I can't believe this.
Look at them! Well, what happened to them? Mate, I'm getting the water tested.
I'll find out what's going on.
They're worth a fortune, mate.
The fish are dead.
Oh, shit.
He acted like a real prick about it, like we had something to do with it.
Oh.
What a jerk.
So now he's testing the solution to make sure no-one tampered with it.
Solution? Yeah.
It's not straight water.
They add sodium, carbon pellets.
They can't just live in tap water.
It might not be related What? I did have to refill the pond out of the tap.
Why?! I broke a pipe and all the water started draining out of the pond and they were just left there, flapping around in their little puddle! I had to save them.
You killed his koi.
I know.
Well, we have to tell him.
Do we? It's so wrong.
What's happened to people these days? Shut up.
It's just, honesty's supposed to be rewarded.
We did the right thing by telling him, and he Shut up, Jimmy! But sacking us is probably not even legal, and those fish costing 3 grand to replace - that's bullshit.
I reckon we should look into that.
But the main thing is, it was an accident.
I wasn't trying Shut up! I'm sorry, Mick.
I'm really sorry.
What were you doing near the pond? We weren't even supposed to be working there.
I wasn't.
Listen, you're angry, so you're looking for someone to blame.
I'm not "looking for someone" - you, Jimmy.
You are to blame.
Give me your phone.
No.
What Give me your Give it here! Ow! Aah! Oh! Call made to Bakery Treat, 11:36 to 12:07! Alright, alright.
I'm sorry.
I did make a call.
I was distracted.
I was tapping on the dirt lightly Get out of the truck! Out! What a beautiful man.
So, let's not be crass about this.
How would you describe your sexual compatibility? Oh Oh, I would describe it as a a private matter.
Oh.
That bad, huh? No, I didn't say that.
It I like to keep some things private.
Yeah, but if it was any good, you'd gloat about it.
No, I wouldn't.
Do we have to tell each other everything? How is he? Dud, apparently.
I didn't say that! Hey.
Hey.
You called me for an epidural for the woman in 7.
Yeah, I thought I thought you'd already done it.
Oh, it was too late.
She's 7 centimetres.
Well, it's there's still time.
I think it's fine.
Yeah, well, that's my call.
It's not.
Now she's screaming blue murder down there.
You'd better sort it out.
What just happened? We've talked.
He showed me his pain.
Doesn't that make it better? Do I want too much? I killed a bear and wrote a poem about how sad it made me.
You're perfect.
It's pretty simple, what a woman wants, isn't it? Hey, Jimmy.
What's up? Remember that development you worked on in Bulleen? - They had a koi pond, right? - Bulleen.
Ah.
Health Department offices.
Um, yeah.
There's a pond.
Why? Uh, it's it's best I don't tell you.
You need plausible deniability.
Jimmy .
.
what's going on? I killed the koi at this house Mick and I were working on, then we got sacked, and now they want 3 grand for the koi.
Right, well, it's good to hear you're having fun.
Big job, hey? Where are you now? - Nina's.
- Is he still at work? Work.
Yes.
Well, God's labours purify us, as my dad used to say.
What what are you talking about? - Uh are you off? - Yeah.
See you.
What are you doing, Jimmy? If I go and steal the koi from that place Government department, right? They had heaps there.
They won't miss three.
Then I can go to the guy with a peace offering and beg for the job back.
- Oh, Jimmy - Dad, I'm trying to fix things.
- Let me fix it.
- Go late at night.
OK.
Bye.
And be careful.
OK.
So, a little romantic speed bump today, but there's a sure-fire way to get us both over it.
You're in a trench coat.
Yes, I am.
Are you naked underneath? Yes.
I am.
Come on in.
Hey.
Hope you like cheap wine, 'cause it's all we can afford.
It was $2.
99.
It'd still be grape-based, though, wouldn't it? Oh, Mick, I love this street.
There are kids with a lemonade stall.
- How cute is that? - Billie There's something I have to tell you.
But not here.
There's too much glassware.
Vases.
That's worse.
OK.
OK.
In here.
In here.
- Mick, this seems really bad.
- What have you done? Mick? Jimmy killed some very expensive Japanese fish at the McLean job, so they sacked us.
I know it was worth more than 20 grand and I know we were really relying on it.
OK.
You might be in shock, but you should say something.
Just throw it.
I know it's shit.
I know we really needed the money.
But we'll fight back, Billie.
We always do.
It's so nice.
This house.
I know.
We can't keep it, Mick.
Ah, no - maybe another job will come in or we can get a flatmate or No.
We've got big payments due in three months.
You know how I structured it.
I know! I know.
But we've got to try.
All we can do is try.
I knew it.
What? I knew this would happen.
Wh-what did I do? I was just looking at you.
No, you're looking at me with pity and you're patting me.
No, not patting you.
I was stroking you.
Don't you like it? Uh-uh.
Oh.
I knew if I told you, this would happen.
What what what would happen? Uh, I'd feel something for you? Of course I do.
I um That's normal, isn't it? I don't know how to be with you now.
But what What? What are you doing, Patrick? I don't know.
Now the lid's off, it's just infecting everything.
Doesn't have to.
There's a reason I don't talk about it.
Sorry.
Maybe you should explain to me what the rules of this are, then, Patrick.
It's OK for me to turn up in a trench coat, naked - that's fine.
It's OK for us to cook dinner for our families - that's fine.
But feel things for you - not fine.
No, because now you're looking at me and you're seeing tragedy.
No, I'm not.
You're seeing a dead baby and a morphine addict.
No, that's not that's not Yes, Nina.
I knew sooner or later I'd have to tell you.
I just don't know how to live with you knowing.
And now it's too late.
Thanks.
Um, I feel like you're about to break up with me, so instead of that, I'm going to leave.
I think we both might need a moment to catch our breath here.
It's Mum.
Ring me.
Neens, it's Billie.
Ring me.
Hey, it's Jimmy.
Can you feed Ralph? I'm staying at Mum's.
No doubt he needs a nappy change as well.
Thanks.
He's not here.
Hello? That's not funny.
Latte! Latte! Yeah.
Phil D'Arabont was much too young for you.
No, he wasn't.
Hey.
You need a bit of maturity in a man.
Oh, I long for the day I find it! Well, maybe you'll just have to make do with me until then.
You'd better not.
Um, it's Jimmy.
So? I've got a feeling.
I had a feeling too and it just disappeared.
Hi, Jimmy.
Yeah, right.
Right.
Righto.
OK.
Will do.
What's happened? You Oh, it's no big deal.
That's what you say when something lS a big deal.
- Jimmy's been arrested.
- What?! - What for? - Stealing fish.
What's he doing in Bulleen, stealing fish? It's strange, I agree.
Maybe we were too nice to him.
- What? - Maybe because of the divorce.
We felt guilty.
We've always been overly nice to him.
Well, I did stop hitting him with my birch.
The male role model is particularly important.
Well, I might have been stronger if I could have got him out from your smothering embrace.
Ooh.
Let's not blame ourselves.
- Let's blame - Him? Maybe it's time we did.
What's that smell? Why are you all here? We're going to talk to you about your life.
All of you? Like like an intervention? I want to tear your eyelids off, but Mum said this was the more mature option.
Eat it.
- Is that? - A $1,000 breakfast.
Oh, look, I'm really sorry, Billie Oh, you're sorry? So, now I don't have to feel bad about losing our house.
I'm sure you don't have to give up your house Maybe we do, Jimmy.
That's what happens in the real world when people screw up.
Eat the fish.
Oh, no Eat.
It.
Oh! It's disgusting! Eat more.
Couldn't he have a wedge of lemon, or something? You need to think about how you're living, Jimmy.
You're not a kid anymore.
Neither are you, yet you insist on dressing like one and knocking up women half your age.
You need to show some responsibility.
I made a mistake! Or two.
Nina, say something.
I think I think what we're all trying to say, Jim, is that you just have so much potential.
She meant something mean.
I-I mean, you could start paying rent before you go outfitting parrots.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that's changed its nappy.
You're a surgeon! You have nimble fingers! Oh, stay focused! Jimmy, you you got arrested.
I was trying to fix this! To help! I remembered the koi.
Dad told me where they were.
I figured, like, everyone could just get what they wanted.
Good fathering, Darcy.
Well done.
Well, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't, aren't I? You're 28! You had a gap year and it's turned into a gap life.
You know what? It may stun you to know that I don't want to live like you.
I just want to travel light and have a good time.
I don't want a house I can't afford.
I don't want to have relationships that are anxiety-ridden.
Tammy, Tammy, Tammy! Yeah, good.
That's better.
I just want to be happy.
I am happy.
I'm sorry about what happened.
It was an accident.
It's nice to see you all turn on me so quickly.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the bakery for breakfast.
Billie! Billie! Sorry! Let me! I wasn't ready.
Forgot that you do this.
And how is your liaison with Dr Proudman progressing? I don't think it is.
Right.
I assume you're running scared.
I don't think human relationships are your strong point, Martin, so maybe you should just serve.
I told her about what happened.
I see.
And she? Patted me.
And this? Made me angry.
Serve, will you? If I have been to war and I have a scar and I show my lover, when she feels bad for me, do I throw her off the train? To travel on my journey alone with my scar, and now with my regret? I don't want her to see me as that guy.
You ARE that guy.
It'll be fascinating to see if you choose to be anything else.
I think I've screwed it up with Patrick.
And I really, really like him.
He really, really likes you, Neens.
You can tell by the way he looks at you.
I've tried space and understanding I just I really I really want to know him.
Do you remember you had the Barbie and the Ken that talked? And you kept on trying to open up Ken's chest so you could fix the mechanism so he'd say what you wanted? I did not! You so did.
Are you saying I broke my toy? I'm just saying that relationships aretwo parts flowers and wine and eight parts, "Is that really who I'm going out with?" You think Mick and I haven't had to look at some pretty ugly stuff about each other? That sometimes he doesn't go, "Wow, she's one mad bitch.
"Can I still love her?" You guys have to both work out if you've got the guts to show each other who you really are.
'Cause let me tell you, when someone loves you and you don't have to be perfect for them, boy, howdy! It's a relief.
Hey.
Had an idea.
Jesus, Mick! We're in the middle of something here.
Love you.
Oh, hi.
It's me.
- Hi.
Um c-could I come over? I want to talk to you about something.
Uh no.
Oh.
Right.
Hi.
I've been trying to prise you open like a Ken doll.
A Ken doll? Mmm.
I can be like that.
I can overthink things.
- I DO overthink things.
- You do.
You don't have to agree.
Sorry.
It's OK.
You can agree.
I try to fix people, instead of just letting them be.
When the going got tough in my marriage, I got into drugs.
And I abandoned my wife.
I was married.
- I know.
- You know why I married him? Because he adored me.
Put me on a pedestal and worshipped me.
I loved that.
But not him.
And it ruined him.
I suck at intimacy.
YOU suck at intimacy? So do I.
Rocket's left his paw prints everywhere.
If this place is going to be ready for buyers, it's got to shine.
You love this house.
We are keeping this house.
How? We live up there.
We rent this out, we live above our garage.
We rent the whole place out.
We save.
We get married.
We keep saving and when we're ready we move back into our house.
Hey? Hey? Who just saved the day? Uh, I think I did.
Yay! Mmm.
Mmm.
OK.
OK.
OK.
- And another thing - Mmm? Oh, it's bad.
It's bad.
- What? - It's really bad.
What? - I like Bon Jovi.
- Ooh No, it's worse.
I mean the new stuff.
Oh! Oh! That's Whoa, whoa - Don't sing it! - OK.
Mmm.
Do you want a coffee? Mm-hm.
Whoa, whoa, whoa God! Oh, dear.