Orange Is the New Black s02e11 Episode Script
Take a Break from Your Values
Super Storm Wanda is still gaining force moving steadily up the Eastern Seaboard.
Winds are expected to dissipate considerably before making landfall, but this is still going to be a very large winter storm.
Oh, hell.
Is this every year now? I hope my family's all right.
Michael and Crystal will be fine.
They have a roof over their heads.
Think about poor Jimmy.
You're the one who's opening your door to this shit.
- Stop.
- Hey, hey! Okay, so we want the B-Dorm bathroom repaired, restrictions on SHU as a punitive instrument, and non-toxic laundry detergent.
- Anything else? - Yeah.
Real maple syrup.
I hate that fake-o kind.
- So nasty.
- Actually, I like the fake kind better.
We're gonna have to discuss this more.
What? No! Turn in the damn demands.
We've been working on this for a week already.
Somebody's cranky.
Maybe if somebody hadn't just joined the strike this morning, they'd be cranky, too.
I'm sorry I thought this was a movement where everyone's ideas were valid.
Excuse me! Will you take your powwow somewhere else? We're trying to hear the television.
Well, we're trying to effect positive change.
Can you please do it quietly? I'd think it would be important to you, too, Sister.
Yeah, aren't you in here 'cause you chained yourself to a flagpole at a nuclear test site? It was for trespassing at a nuclear facility and the flagpole was at the School for the Americas.
And that's all behind me.
I'm old.
I have low blood sugar.
I was hoping that prison would give me a chance to find the time for solemn contemplation.
Yeah? Of what? Being a pussy? Sister Jane, you must remember to keep garments clean and ironed.
Yes, Sister.
- And don't be late for meals.
- I won't.
And don't speak at meals.
And don't ever talk to Sister Jen.
Why? Has she taken a vow? No, she's just terribly irritating.
Do you have any other questions? Well, I I do have one.
How long before Jesus speaks to me? Do you not speak to Jesus in your prayers? Yes, I speak to him.
It's been a one-sided conversation so far.
And the other sisters are always going on about how Jesus speaks to them and tells them he loves them The other sisters like to brag.
But Christ only comes to those humble in their devotion to the lord.
Focus not on what Christ may do for you but on what you can do for Christ.
Good tip.
Thank you, Sister Kennedy.
Constance.
Rally in Washington.
Stop the war in Vietnam.
What are you doing? There's a rally tomorrow.
A rally? I didn't even think we were allowed to read the newspaper - until we take the veil.
- Yes.
Put those away before Sister Constance sees you.
This is important.
Indiscriminate war is a crime against God.
Sister Constance gave her blessing for this.
She did? Oh, well, that's different.
"Rock Against Rape"? "Rape and Roll"? "Rape the Vote"! "Rape" has to be in the title to connect it with the story.
A small concert somewhere.
Good PR for the prison.
Right, the prison.
Mmm, this shameful sexual violation is really working out for you, isn't it? I am just happy that we have helped to start a dialogue.
And I wanna thank you, Joe, for your assistance in my handling of this.
You deserve recognition.
Hmm.
How about a token of your appreciation in the $200 to $300 range? In lieu of that, I have something else for you.
B-Dorm bathroom.
You're fixing it? With a contractor off the approved list.
We got a very good price.
That's great.
That's great.
How much? A very good price.
And I have some more good news! In light of the recent events, the warden is sending you some new riot gear.
Riot gear? How's that gonna prevent rape? Well, it's not gonna prevent rape, but if somebody is raped and it incites a riot We got some new gear in max and we're sending you the old stuff.
Just send the warden a thank you.
I will.
And by the way, if you end up doing this concert and you're looking for a band Oh, yeah, we we have that covered, but but thank you.
Got it.
Sorry the comic's not very funny this week.
Oh, no, I think it's great.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You're not just saying that because you feel sorry for me 'cause I'm, like, a victim? No, not at all.
And I thought what the horse said to the eagle was very brave.
Oh, it's a hawk, not an eagle.
Oh, yeah.
But thanks.
Hey, Chapman, sorry I'm late with this.
What is it? Our strike demands for the paper.
Oh, absolutely not.
Forget it.
It'll never get past Healy.
Besides, the paper's already laid out.
I've got 300 words on Scott O'Neill's love for Civil War memorabilia.
Please? Could you at least try? Fine I'll put it in, but I guarantee you it's gonna end up in the trash.
Thank you, Chapman.
History will remember you for this, although I still don't trust you personally.
Revolution makes for strange bedfellows, huh? Not like we're going to bed together Brook, have you heard of the Gandhi quote, "Speak only if it improves upon the silence"? No I haven't.
What was the context? I love Gandhi.
That was a man who knew how to revolt.
Did you know he was born and died on a Friday? And also, he had really bad handwriting.
Also, they say he slept with two naked women in his bed not Hey, can I can I talk to you for a minute? Is that an order? No.
Then no.
I'm busy.
You're back at work.
That was a nasty fall you took.
Hold up now.
Where you going? I'm trying to talk to you, stop.
All I'm trying to say to you is I can give you some Arnica for the pain.
Look like you're hurt and we're neighbors more than neighbors.
You live at my house.
Let me ask you something.
You come back to prison on accident or 'cause outside you're too weak for anybody to take serious? What, you got some kids think you hot shit? Big deal.
You're like a pedophile without the sex.
Bet the real players laugh in your face.
Probably fuck you for free, too.
How much worse do you want this to get? Hmm? How much worse you got? Bring it.
What do I got left to lose? Chapman, come in.
- You got the paper? - Yes, I do.
Good.
- You put the ad in? - Yes.
It's right here.
You know, some of the other girls aren't sure what you're advertising.
"Safe Place.
" It sounds like a preschool playgroup.
Well, I had to be subtle.
The word "therapy" scares people.
But if you engage people in creative play, they're more interested in opening up about what's troubling them.
Sounds like you've been reading up.
You have to with the social sciences.
The theories are constantly evolving.
It's a good thing, otherwise we'd all still be getting electroshock therapy for hysteria.
My mother had that.
Oh.
It's pretty effective, actually.
She made a lot of soups after.
Well anyway here, let's get this out.
Donaldson! Yeah.
Go down to the office and make me 100 copies of this.
- All right.
- Thank you.
While I'm here, I'd like to ask you something.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I want you to take this piece of paper.
I want you to take this pencil.
I want you to write down a feeling and put it in the Feelings Jar.
- Why? - You'll see later in Safe Place.
I'm very busy, but I'll be there if I can.
Write down the feeling, Chapman.
All right.
Would you mind signing off on this? I'd like to add someone to my call list.
Alex Vause? It's not a lesbian thing.
Still, you think this is a good idea? No, but she keeps writing me letters, and I think that it would help to give us some closure which is psychologically not without value.
Thank you, Mr.
Healy.
Tell it to the Feelings Jar.
That's a great word.
So what was it, Frieda? Why did you do it, huh? Is it because I didn't let you grow pot? Because I over-watered your tomatoes? What did it take to sell me out? Red, I don't know what you're talking about.
- I give you fiber supplements! - Red, come on.
I give you BENGAY! - And this is how you repay me? - Red! Hey, hey! I I don't know what she's talkin' about.
Fuck.
Red, come on, you just got your family back.
You wanna mess things up making crazy accusations? I know it's her.
She's the Judas.
Oh, and you're Jesus, huh? Come on.
You don't know she talked any more than Norma did.
Norma.
All right now I know you're paranoid.
Look all right, maybe Vee just put two and two together.
You know, we're not talking about Batcave-level secrecy here, right? Yeah, word.
And it's not like you don't talk about this shit in normal volume in public places.
Dummies.
This isn't your bathroom.
I can take a shit where the fuck I want.
And they got contractors on the black side.
Finally getting renovated.
Hell! Moving on up! Don't you have a conscience? Bringing drugs into this place? Don't you remember what happened to Tricia? Yeah.
I remember the Alamo, too, but that don't keep me from eating Mexican food.
And drugs in the prison ain't the craziest thing to ever happen.
I'll tell you what is, though.
You thinking you can open a road and say only white people can drive on it.
Uh-uh.
This America.
The bathrooms may be segregated but the market be free.
Oh, but, uh FYI, somebody did rat you out.
It was Boo.
Puff out.
Well that was a short mystery.
We got billy clubs and helmets and shields.
Man, this stuff is great.
Yeah, hopefully, we never have to use it.
Great, great.
Oh, my God! Is that tear gas? - What? Let me see that.
- Hey! Take it easy.
Careful! Just take an inventory and lock this stuff up in the armory.
Armory? Weapons holding.
- The big closet! - Oh, yeah.
Hey, O'Neill! Look, you're famous.
Hey, let me see that.
You should've used that other picture I took of you.
Okay, okay.
Shush your mush.
What the hell is this? Hunger strike? Oh, yeah, you didn't know about that? No I didn't fucking know about that.
Okay, do you guys know the human megaphone? No, what is it? It's like the Occupy hand signals.
So, what we do is up twinkles for "yay.
" - That means "yes.
" - Twinkle! Down twinkles for "nay.
" For God's sake, we don't need hand signals.
There's only four of us.
Now.
Thinkin' of the future.
Nay.
- Okay, fist up - fist up for "oppose.
" Fist up.
This means, "I have a question.
" All right, who's the leader? We are a leaderless movement, or rather leader-full.
- Let's just say it's you.
- Uh, I'd rather not.
I read your demands.
They're a little confusing.
Well, it's a work-in-progress.
Well, you say you want the B-Dorm bathroom fixed.
Done.
- We did it! Yay! - Yay! You didn't do anything.
It was already happening.
Oh.
You say you want restrictions on the use of the SHU.
What does that mean, exactly? There's no accountability.
People get thrown in for no reason for any period of time, arbitrarily.
Watson's been in there, like, every other month.
She brought that on herself.
As far as the duration of her stay, there is a system in place with strict guidelines, and we are under no obligation to explain to you how it works.
But as it so happens, your friend, Watson, is coming out today.
- Yes! - Congratulations, Yoga! Again, just a coincidence.
Nothing to do with this.
Oh.
Is there anything else? There is a maple syrup situation.
Anything I can take seriously? I have an issue.
What are you going to do about the quality of senior care in this prison? Excellent issue, Sister, but we haven't voted on that yet.
Maybe we could put a pin in it, talk about it later? The elderly are the fastest growing population in prison and they have special needs.
So-called "compassionate release" in lieu of care is completely unacceptable.
You can't dump sick old ladies on the street.
It's unconscionable, inhumane and illegal.
You must meet your obligations.
This just got real.
It's 'cause I called you a pussy, isn't it? It's for Jimmy.
'Cause I called her a pussy.
Thank you so much.
Are you sure we can't offer you money for gas? Just consider it a donation to your so-called church.
- Bye! - Bye! That was wonderful, truly.
It was incredible! Thank you so much for bringing me.
I was afraid nunning was going to be boring, but that was so exciting.
Sisters, where have you been? We were at the rally.
Sister Constance would like to see you immediately.
We aren't in trouble, are we? You told us we had Sister's permission.
- In spirit.
- What? "Open your mouths, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
" Proverbs 31:9.
You duped us.
I can't believe it.
I fell in with the bad nuns.
So, we'll do some penance.
We do penance all day anyway.
At least now it can be for something we're proud of.
I mean, what is the point? To keep our heads down and be well starched? We have no jobs no husbands.
If we don't fight to make the world a better place, who will? The pigs? You know I'm right.
It did feel good.
So, I heard they got a special cell for you in seg.
Got a plaque outside the door that say, "Reserved for Watson.
" Shut the fuck up! You got no idea what it's like, so don't even fucking act like you fucking know.
Take it easy now.
Easy, girl.
You all right, now.
You all right.
You're home now.
I got you.
I'm gonna take care of you now.
Sit down.
Me, too.
Can I get everybody's attention, please? This here is the last call for Safe Place sign-up.
I repeat, it is the last call for Safe Place sign-up.
What the fuck is Safe Place? It's Healy's new thing.
It's like some kind of snitching school.
You go and sound off on people and he gives you a shot off your record.
Serious? Word, I don't lie.
He even got a snitching jar in his office.
Hey, y'all.
Wanna sign up for Safe Place? We're not interested.
How do you know? Bald blacky signed up.
Nah.
You want me to sign up? I could keep an eye on her, like a like an eye-spyer.
Yeah, baby, you do that.
- Safe Place! Thank you.
- That is some good thinking.
- My brain will always be there for you.
- Hey, y'all.
Thinking things so you don't have to.
Safe Place sign-up, last call over here, anyone? Hey, Pennsabama! Wait up.
I know what makes a great radio story.
Alaska's an interesting place.
I wouldn't have gone there if I thought nobody wanted to hear about it.
Pete, can you come sit down? But I'm still venting! We wanna talk to you about something.
Uh-oh.
I sense an ambush here.
Come sit.
I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm Australian.
Sit down.
We don't care if you drink.
Hmm.
Mmm.
Okay, so while you were away, Larry and I spent a lot of time together.
Right.
And? And we became close.
Closer than before.
Okay.
This is awkward.
No, mate.
I know what you're gonna say.
You do? Yeah.
I'm not an idiot.
You think I don't know what's going on here? It's nothing we ever planned.
Of course not.
I mean, it all makes sense.
You Polly and me.
And you? Why not? We're all friends.
No, Pete, this isn't about having a threesome.
Oh.
No? My bad.
What is it? I'm leaving you.
Uh Uh, for him? It hasn't been going on long.
You cuckolded me? I never thought of it that way.
You fucked my wife without me being there, too.
You cuckolded me! Pete, let's admit something.
The moment I had the baby, you bailed.
You're not ready to be a grown-up.
And rebound boy is? Larry fucking shows up.
Look, you think this is easy? I'm ending a marriage, he's ending a relationship, I fucked my best friend's fiancé.
But it's real.
And I think it's the best thing that's ever happened to both of us.
I went away so I could be somebody for our son.
Come on, Pete you know that's not true.
You went away because - Shit! - Oh! Don't tell me what I know.
- Pete! - Fuck! Oh, fuck! - Oh.
Oh, my God.
- Shit.
You got a minute? What, you can't find your other mommy nowhere? Kidding.
What? You should be walking on air, the way this shit turned out.
The way what shit turned out? There's a dude going to jail because of me.
Yeah but at least you and Stumpy get to limp off into the sunset.
I can't even fucking look at him.
And now everybody knows I'm pregnant.
That is never gonna work.
I'm so fucking stupid.
Hey, it's all right.
It's all right.
A lot of people are stupid and still live full, productive lives.
At least you know you're getting paid.
Paid? Oh, Jesus, girl, didn't I teach you nothing? You get raped by a guard, you get to sue the government.
Plus, even better, you got a baby which means child support from Mendez and extortion money from Gimpy.
I'm telling you, this rape is the best thing that ever happened to you.
The only reason them bitches is talking is because they jealous.
And then what happens when the baby ends up with no daddy? Another fucking barrio baby.
You don't think about that.
You was raised in a non-traditional setting and you turned out great.
Thanks, Ma.
Sure, no problem.
Just remember me when them checks start comin' in.
An inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison is attempting to contact you.
To accept this call, please press one.
So, in your letter, you claim you tried to ask if I could get the same deal you got, but what you failed to explain is why after you coached me in exactly what to say in my testimony, you suddenly do an about-face and say the exact opposite thing.
You want the long version or the short version? I want the short version.
You have one minute.
Oh.
It's like that, huh? No, my phone credit is running low.
Look, Piper I was facing more time than you.
My lawyer told me that my testimony would put Kubra away for sure and that I could walk that same day.
Congratulations.
Your lawyer is a better lawyer than Larry's dad.
No, he isn't.
He was wrong.
Kubra walked.
What? There was a mistrial.
Some dumb fuck mishandled the evidence.
He's out.
So I'm the only one who went to prison? I tell you that Kubra's free after I testify against him and that's all you have to say? Well, I mean, they're protecting you, right? Yeah they're protecting me.
There's around-the-clock surveillance.
And by that, I mean I see my probation officer every week for about 20 minutes.
Oh, my God.
Alex Alex, are you serious? - Where are you right now? - Queens.
You're in Queens? I was just there! What? Never mind.
I can't get into that right now.
Alex, you shouldn't be in New York.
Alex, you should be in fucking Nevada or or Argentina or something.
That's fine.
Thomas Pynchon hid in New York for years.
And Queens isn't that bad.
No one comes to visit, but it has pretty good Greek food.
Besides, I'm not allowed to leave the fucking state.
It's part of my release.
You have 30 seconds remaining for this call.
Oh, shit! You couldn't have added more credit before calling me? I need to talk to you.
Well, I didn't plan ahead.
I need to talk to you in person.
Can you get me on your visitation list? Well, I'll try, but, Alex, are you sure are you sure that you're safe? Yeah, I'm fine.
Just get me on your list and we can talk about it then.
Okay.
Fuck! Motherfucker! You call that 30 seconds? Hey, that's federal property You're federal property! Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Menses, it's menses madness.
Ew, just go.
Come on, open up.
I know you're in there.
I saw you go in.
What do you want? You know what I want.
I want you to separate your damn recyclables.
And you can't keep leaving cardboard boxes outside.
You need to break 'em down first.
I see you! - What? - Oh, you're not Mrs.
Woo.
No, I'm not Mrs.
Woo.
I'm Alex.
Hey, I'm Jay.
I, uh I deal with the garbage.
I'm sorry about the boxes.
I'll break them down next time.
That's all I ask.
Welcome to the building.
Yeah.
Oh, Alex! Alex Vause? What? Some Arab guys were looking for you.
Maybe not Arab, but you know dusky gentlemen.
Well, you're right.
It was good you hid the Aleut whaling spear.
- Sorry.
- No I'm glad I was here to tell him with you.
I mean it was the right thing to do under the circumstances.
Honestly, Pete is secretly jumping up and down with joy to be let off the hook.
He just needed to affirm his manhood.
Maybe he can fuck Piper and we'll have reciprocity.
Well, Piper and I actually actually ended in a good place.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I still need to work some shit out with her, but I'm glad you two are good.
So that's it, huh? Piper knows Pete knows.
We're doing this.
We're doing this.
You can still leave.
Leave? Why would I leave? I guess I don't know what you get out of this relationship.
And I'm scared, because what happens when you wanna trek across an ice field? I can guarantee you that I will never wanna trek across an ice field.
I know.
You're so not rugged.
That is not true.
- I once did Israeli Army summer camp.
- Mmm-hmm.
I shot Uzis in a desert with a commander named Shmulik, so I can do rugged.
It's the cold I don't like.
Idiot.
You know, you're the only person I've ever met who can call me an idiot without actually making me feel like one.
Maybe I'm using the wrong inflection.
We all have feelings and some feelings that we feel are so strong that it's hard for us to be the person that we know in our hearts that we can be.
So what's the best way for us to deal with these kinds of powerful and dangerous feelings? Let 'em have it.
No talk about them.
If we talk about our problems, it makes it easier for us to process our feelings and it helps us to realize that we're not alone.
Who'd like to start the sharing for today? Oh, me.
Hold on.
Hey, let's let's start with Flores.
- Me? - Yeah.
This is a talking stick.
Whoever's gonna be talking in the group will be carrying that stick.
How do you feel? Good.
Good? You're sure? Yeah I feel very happy.
Okay, the thing is I don't believe you.
And for Safe Place to work, you're gonna have to be really honest about how you're feeling.
Here you wanna take a look at the feelings chart? Okay.
I feel very depressed.
- Good.
- Good? You just made her say that and now she feels crappy.
Hey! Excuse me, you can't talk without the talking stick.
Why? You don't have one.
Oh, doesn't apply to me.
I'm the group facilitator.
No no, you're not.
- I'm not? - No.
With that being said, I want this place to be a place where you all feel free to talk within the given guidelines.
Tell you what let's switch.
- Here, you take the stick.
- No.
- Come on.
- I I don't got nothing to say.
Sure you do.
Just tell us how you're feeling.
Bored.
Bored isn't a feeling.
What do you mean, it's not a feeling? It's not on the feelings chart.
Fine! Mad.
I feel mad.
Okay.
And why do you feel mad? 'Cause you told me I couldn't feel bored! Sorry.
You're late.
I thought it was in the chapel.
Take a seat.
Okay, Washington, you were saying? I wasn't saying anything.
What is the point of this? To get a shot off your record.
No the point is to help you to start to get in touch with your feelings.
Did it ever occur to you that we don't wanna get in touch with our feelings? That actually feeling our feelings might make it impossible to survive in here? Look I'm trying to look out for you.
Everybody in here, we have to look out for each other.
Now you look like you got hurt.
What happened? Nothing happened.
- What? - Washington what happens in Safe Place stays in Safe Place.
That's why it's called Safe Place.
Nothing happened.
I slipped in the shower.
Totally random.
We have a limited amount of time and the pressure needs to come from outside.
Who have you already talked to about this? I have some activist friends I told to get the word out.
- Who are they? - Terry and Gus.
Gus is a webmaster for an anti-logging blog, and Terry runs a bakery that sells anti-authoritarian cupcakes.
Contact the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, and the National Catholic Social Justice Lobby.
They can network with the major newspapers.
Okay okay back up.
I have to say something.
I was told this is a leaderless movement, and I'm feeling uncomfortable with the fact that you're really I feel, acting like a leader.
Because we all got ideas but you were the last one to join up.
Yeah, and I also feel that way.
I'm sorry that you feel I've been leader-y.
Everyone's ideas are important.
That's okay.
- It's water under the creek.
- We forgive you! Long as you know all our interests gots to be represented 'cause me and Angie got some new demands.
- We would like more dessert options.
- Yeah! And field trips.
And musical guests in the prison, like Johnny Cash.
Johnny Cash is dead.
I want what I want.
Oh, boy! You'll never believe this.
We ordered too many pizzas.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Anybody want a slice? - That's dirty warfare.
- Uh, maybe but that is one good-looking pie.
- Leanne, Angie! What are you doing? - Nothing.
We're smelling it.
We're just smelling it.
That's allowed.
It sure does smell good, doesn't it? Little Caesars.
It's the only thing better than getting what you want.
That should be their slogan.
Why are we punishing ourselves when we're already being punished? That makes no sense.
Yeah, we could still say we're not eating and nobody would know.
Leanne your mind is the enemy.
Don't listen to your mind - Angie! - I'm just licking it.
A lick is all right.
- It's all right.
Let them eat.
- What? Go ahead, girls.
Take a break from your values.
I am.
That is another good slogan! What did you do that for? We don't need them.
They confuse our message.
They're half our movement! What happened to everyone's ideas being important? - I changed my mind.
- Hey, look.
I'm Edward Pizzahands.
So when they arrest us that's 14 arrests for me.
That's two more than Sister JoAnn, and five more than Sister Patricia even though she's the little darling over there at Friends of the Earth.
- That's not what's important.
- It's a bonus.
I guess we should've brought more banners.
I know.
What a shitty day to do this.
I mean, does anybody work here? Hello! - We're trespassing! - Shh! Oh, Gene, take a picture.
What's that? When Sister Patricia was protesting the Portsmouth Plant, she threw a pint of blood.
So what, you brought a quart? Two quarts.
Fake.
Costume blood.
The blood that Sister Patricia threw was from an actual victim of radiation poisoning.
The pictures will look spectacular! What? I don't think you're doing this in the right spirit.
Don't talk to me about spirit.
Without me, you're just a couple of hippies on welfare.
I'm the one who gives you credibility, all right? You're ready, Gene? Get snapping.
- Help! - All right, pigs! Don't make another move or the bitch gets it! What did you do that for? That's the drill.
We don't negotiate for hostages.
So you let me kill her? Yeah, seriously, O'Neill? Okay, I'm pretty sure I knocked the gun away.
I'm pretty sure she's still alive.
No, I killed her.
I shot her in the face.
The bullet entered the left eye socket and exited through the back of her head.
There's blood and brains everywhere.
Hey, Watson.
Didn't mean to startle you.
Just wanted to say I'm happy you're back.
You know, one good thing to come out of all this? It got me motivated to join the hunger strike.
Do you know about that? I haven't eaten in a week.
So what? Am I supposed to be grateful? I'm not here to make you feel good about yourself, all right? You got guilt about something that's not my problem.
No, it's not anything like that.
Look I don't feel like being your token black friend.
So don't talk to me anymore.
Okay.
Fine.
Sure, baby you know, I can get you anything you want.
'Cause around here, I'm like King Bee, you know what I'm saying? Hey, Red.
Aren't you usually playing with the garden club about now? The greenhouse is closed for a little while.
There's a health hazard that needs to be sorted out.
Really? What? A rat.
What the hell? Hey, take a walk, bouncy boobs.
All right, none of you bitches better come near me.
Relax, we're not going to hurt you.
Here.
You asked for these.
Enjoy them.
It'll be the last favor I ever do for you.
Oh.
I'm out of the family.
What a shame.
Especially since our relationship has always involved such a high degree of mutual respect.
You need more love? I don't need shit.
Fuck your Jolly Ranchers.
There are houses on this block with much better candy.
You'd rather eat at Vee's table, would you? Yeah so what? Does that make me some kind of race betrayer? I mean, give me a fucking break.
You come down here with your scarecrows, trying to act all gangster? You buy loyalty with candy and skin care products.
I mean, your gang looks like a bunch of half-price Garbage Pail Kids Red you're a fucking joke.
You're right.
I'm a joke.
I'm sure you'll be better off on your own.
I know I fucking will! Boo got Boo and that's all Boo needs.
Boo.
Fuck.
Thank you for making those.
I should help.
It's okay, I got it.
You should conserve your energy.
Queens, huh? I should hook her up with my buddy, Michel.
He runs a strip joint underneath the Queensboro Bridge.
Well, it's full nude, but they don't serve alcohol.
It's just such a fucked situation.
I know, man, that's the law.
'Cause I I guess some schmuck decided that nudity and booze at the same time's just too much fun.
It's probably a Mormon with six wives.
I'm talking about Alex.
She should be under witness protection.
What do you care? I mean, didn't she screw you over in Chicago? Oh, that's right.
That's kind of how you two relate, isn't it? It's like Spy vs.
Spy, but sexual.
You know something, this guy, Kubra, he's no joke and they know that.
They're not taking responsibility for the fact that they put her in harm's way.
If it's not part of your deal, it's just not part of your deal.
Yeah, the system doesn't have a conscience and nobody likes extra work.
Oh, by the way we're gonna be helping to put sandbags around the lake in electrical this week.
What? What does that have to do with electrical? If the lake overflows during the storm, then we all get electrocuted.
I don't know.
It's not like there's a sandbag department.
Officer, confiscate those markers, paper, posters, all of it.
But these are just art supplies.
They are a privilege that has been abused.
It's not a privilege.
It's a right! Careful, Sister, don't stand up too fast.
We have freedom of speech.
You did and then you broke the law.
Where do you think you are? And as for this no more.
This little experiment in free expression, Waldorf-style prison is over.
Fucking cunt.
You didn't need to do that.
You let 'em get a rise out of you, gives them more power.
Oh, is that what your mommy told you when you were being bullied? A hunger strike, really? What should I be doing, force-feeding them? - Why not? - Because I can't.
Unless they're unconscious.
Then I can do it if they don't have a DNR.
Fine, then try and get them while they're sleeping.
We have a responsibility to feed these women three square meals a day, and I am a defender of women.
Do you want me to do anything else, sir? It's all right.
It's gonna play itself out.
An embarrassment? It should be a triumph.
I I was on the cover of The New York Times.
You see, that is exactly the issue.
It's not about service to God it's about you.
You're a narcissist.
That's not true.
No? You timed this protest to coincide with your book release and you didn't even credit your ghostwriter.
I'm giving all the proceeds to charity.
I'm doing God's work.
Hey you know what this stands for? Vatican II.
Are you not happy being a nun? No! I love being a nun.
If I seem prideful, it's only because I love the work I do and because I'm really good at it.
By your own estimation.
There is a page in your book I'd like to read for you.
"I have never heard Christ clearly in my heart.
"Either my heart's hard of hearing, or Christ can be a bit of a mumbler "and so I've learned to trust in my own moral instincts.
" It's a joke.
I'm comparing my marriage to Christ to a typical marriage.
"But it wasn't my moral instincts "that led me to Nicaragua in the summer of '88.
"It was a young freedom fighter named Carlos.
" Okay "With rock-hard abs under his jungle fatigues "Carlos was revolutionary in more ways than one "and overthrowing the Sandinistas was not his only objective.
" Okay, now, that chapter's there for the mommy book-club crowd.
They need a little beefcake with their politics.
I'm sorry, Sister, but the church has decided we can't support you any longer.
Support me? You mean you won't pay my legal fees? I mean we can't support you period.
What do you mean, she's not coming? She said she doesn't wanna do it anymore.
And no more contraband either.
But we just started.
Is this about the black one? What? Fuck you! Not you.
You're not one of the bad ones.
She means Vee.
Red would rather kill the tunnel than let her take it.
That's the one with the big hair.
I know her.
But I love being in touch with the soil.
I know.
This club is the best thing that's happened to me since work exemption.
Well, maybe Red isn't thinking straight.
When the pirates are boarding, you don't sink the ship, you fight the damn pirates.
Say again? How 'bout I kill the bitch? Then we played a game called Human Knot where we all held hands and tried to unknot the knot without letting go.
And Flores she got accidentally got tickled and started laughing and then we all started laughing and it was so Sounds mad gay.
Yeah, it was mad gay.
Yo, what y'all talking about? She went to keep an eye on Poussey in Healy's thing.
You didn't have to do that.
I told you, she ain't no fink.
You said that.
But you know what? I'm not really sure where your loyalties lie these days.
What do you think, Suzanne? Well, I don't think she's gonna talk, but I was a little disturbed by her contribution to the group poem.
It's a lot of anger.
It's a lot of fear.
Well, of course there was with you right there.
You would spook a vampire.
If you would've had me go, it would've been better.
And if ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.
And if snitches and bitches were wine and beer we'd all have a happy New Year.
Am I right? If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
Why do you keep defending her over your family? I'm not.
I I just think she's been through enough.
But you don't have to worry about her, Vee, for real.
Fine, I don't worry.
But from now on, she's your responsibility.
Anything happens again it's on you.
What happened? She fainted.
For a second.
I'm not unconscious.
I'm not unconscious.
Sister, I talked to your compatriots.
I think there's been a decision made.
Let me guess.
You gave up.
It's just not safe anymore especially for you.
That's an excuse.
Did you contact the media like I asked you? I tried.
Nobody took the bait with the story.
There's a storm coming.
You're damn right there's a storm coming.
No, I don't mean it that way.
There's actually a big winter storm that's dominating all the news.
It's just bad timing.
Wait a minute.
Sister's a nun.
You're telling me that's not a story? Yeah, it's less of one since she's been excommunicated.
Labels.
They told me that they'd reconsider letting me back in the church if I showed contrition in prison, but bad habits die hard.
Bad habits.
Get it? It's good to be back in the saddle.
Yeah, well, unless you get out of the saddle you're gonna be riding straight into medical seg and I don't wanna have to do that.
So let's call it a day, huh? I'll call it a day when you make meaningful changes to the way this prison is run.
I can't do that.
Didn't you hear what she said? There's no point.
You're all alone.
Nobody even knows you're doing this.
You know.
All right.
Have it your way.
Here she comes! Please, Sister, don't do this to yourself.
I'm fine, Sophia.
I feel good.
Almost blissful.
She's delirious.
- Rock on, Sister.
- You're all right.
Fight the power.
She thinks she's a rock star.
She is.
Whatever happened to humility? Isn't that a virtue or something? One of the highest.
People in power are always saying so.
Mr.
Healy, did you hear about the Bugle? I can't do anything about it.
But it was so good.
It really was.
People were taking responsibility.
People were opening up.
It's everything that you wanted to see happen.
- Chapman - I mean, as a as a counselor You're being transferred to Virginia.
What? I received a memo from the warden's office.
Yeah, your name was included on a list with 12 other girls.
Is this because of the paper? Is this because I published the strike demands? Is this Fig? It's not punitive.
We shuffle prisoners around all the time.
We're overpopulated.
The fact that you're on a list it's just a random thing.
When? Maybe in a week.
They usually pick 'em up on Saturday.
No, that's visitation day.
Alex was gonna come visit me.
I don't know if she can come before then.
She said that she needs to speak with me in person.
Chapman you're going down south.
Not having closure with Alex Vause would be the least of your problems.
How much longer? How much how much longer with this level of noise? Probably a few hours.
All right, as long as it gets done.
It'll get done.
I see B-Dorm bathroom is being fixed.
That's right.
Funny how things work out sometimes.
Yo, Vee! I'm not with Red anymore, so I'm all yours.
- Mine? - Yeah.
But why would I want you? I did right by you, Vee.
I gave you the 411.
I don't like snitches.
Why are you always so quiet? Why do I always have to do all the talking? Oh, rest in the Lord Wait patiently for Him What the fuck did I do? What did I do? I'm awake.
I'm awake.
I'm awake! I'm awake! I'm awake! No, don't feed me! I did not give my permission! This is not right! It's not fair! No, please! Please!
Winds are expected to dissipate considerably before making landfall, but this is still going to be a very large winter storm.
Oh, hell.
Is this every year now? I hope my family's all right.
Michael and Crystal will be fine.
They have a roof over their heads.
Think about poor Jimmy.
You're the one who's opening your door to this shit.
- Stop.
- Hey, hey! Okay, so we want the B-Dorm bathroom repaired, restrictions on SHU as a punitive instrument, and non-toxic laundry detergent.
- Anything else? - Yeah.
Real maple syrup.
I hate that fake-o kind.
- So nasty.
- Actually, I like the fake kind better.
We're gonna have to discuss this more.
What? No! Turn in the damn demands.
We've been working on this for a week already.
Somebody's cranky.
Maybe if somebody hadn't just joined the strike this morning, they'd be cranky, too.
I'm sorry I thought this was a movement where everyone's ideas were valid.
Excuse me! Will you take your powwow somewhere else? We're trying to hear the television.
Well, we're trying to effect positive change.
Can you please do it quietly? I'd think it would be important to you, too, Sister.
Yeah, aren't you in here 'cause you chained yourself to a flagpole at a nuclear test site? It was for trespassing at a nuclear facility and the flagpole was at the School for the Americas.
And that's all behind me.
I'm old.
I have low blood sugar.
I was hoping that prison would give me a chance to find the time for solemn contemplation.
Yeah? Of what? Being a pussy? Sister Jane, you must remember to keep garments clean and ironed.
Yes, Sister.
- And don't be late for meals.
- I won't.
And don't speak at meals.
And don't ever talk to Sister Jen.
Why? Has she taken a vow? No, she's just terribly irritating.
Do you have any other questions? Well, I I do have one.
How long before Jesus speaks to me? Do you not speak to Jesus in your prayers? Yes, I speak to him.
It's been a one-sided conversation so far.
And the other sisters are always going on about how Jesus speaks to them and tells them he loves them The other sisters like to brag.
But Christ only comes to those humble in their devotion to the lord.
Focus not on what Christ may do for you but on what you can do for Christ.
Good tip.
Thank you, Sister Kennedy.
Constance.
Rally in Washington.
Stop the war in Vietnam.
What are you doing? There's a rally tomorrow.
A rally? I didn't even think we were allowed to read the newspaper - until we take the veil.
- Yes.
Put those away before Sister Constance sees you.
This is important.
Indiscriminate war is a crime against God.
Sister Constance gave her blessing for this.
She did? Oh, well, that's different.
"Rock Against Rape"? "Rape and Roll"? "Rape the Vote"! "Rape" has to be in the title to connect it with the story.
A small concert somewhere.
Good PR for the prison.
Right, the prison.
Mmm, this shameful sexual violation is really working out for you, isn't it? I am just happy that we have helped to start a dialogue.
And I wanna thank you, Joe, for your assistance in my handling of this.
You deserve recognition.
Hmm.
How about a token of your appreciation in the $200 to $300 range? In lieu of that, I have something else for you.
B-Dorm bathroom.
You're fixing it? With a contractor off the approved list.
We got a very good price.
That's great.
That's great.
How much? A very good price.
And I have some more good news! In light of the recent events, the warden is sending you some new riot gear.
Riot gear? How's that gonna prevent rape? Well, it's not gonna prevent rape, but if somebody is raped and it incites a riot We got some new gear in max and we're sending you the old stuff.
Just send the warden a thank you.
I will.
And by the way, if you end up doing this concert and you're looking for a band Oh, yeah, we we have that covered, but but thank you.
Got it.
Sorry the comic's not very funny this week.
Oh, no, I think it's great.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You're not just saying that because you feel sorry for me 'cause I'm, like, a victim? No, not at all.
And I thought what the horse said to the eagle was very brave.
Oh, it's a hawk, not an eagle.
Oh, yeah.
But thanks.
Hey, Chapman, sorry I'm late with this.
What is it? Our strike demands for the paper.
Oh, absolutely not.
Forget it.
It'll never get past Healy.
Besides, the paper's already laid out.
I've got 300 words on Scott O'Neill's love for Civil War memorabilia.
Please? Could you at least try? Fine I'll put it in, but I guarantee you it's gonna end up in the trash.
Thank you, Chapman.
History will remember you for this, although I still don't trust you personally.
Revolution makes for strange bedfellows, huh? Not like we're going to bed together Brook, have you heard of the Gandhi quote, "Speak only if it improves upon the silence"? No I haven't.
What was the context? I love Gandhi.
That was a man who knew how to revolt.
Did you know he was born and died on a Friday? And also, he had really bad handwriting.
Also, they say he slept with two naked women in his bed not Hey, can I can I talk to you for a minute? Is that an order? No.
Then no.
I'm busy.
You're back at work.
That was a nasty fall you took.
Hold up now.
Where you going? I'm trying to talk to you, stop.
All I'm trying to say to you is I can give you some Arnica for the pain.
Look like you're hurt and we're neighbors more than neighbors.
You live at my house.
Let me ask you something.
You come back to prison on accident or 'cause outside you're too weak for anybody to take serious? What, you got some kids think you hot shit? Big deal.
You're like a pedophile without the sex.
Bet the real players laugh in your face.
Probably fuck you for free, too.
How much worse do you want this to get? Hmm? How much worse you got? Bring it.
What do I got left to lose? Chapman, come in.
- You got the paper? - Yes, I do.
Good.
- You put the ad in? - Yes.
It's right here.
You know, some of the other girls aren't sure what you're advertising.
"Safe Place.
" It sounds like a preschool playgroup.
Well, I had to be subtle.
The word "therapy" scares people.
But if you engage people in creative play, they're more interested in opening up about what's troubling them.
Sounds like you've been reading up.
You have to with the social sciences.
The theories are constantly evolving.
It's a good thing, otherwise we'd all still be getting electroshock therapy for hysteria.
My mother had that.
Oh.
It's pretty effective, actually.
She made a lot of soups after.
Well anyway here, let's get this out.
Donaldson! Yeah.
Go down to the office and make me 100 copies of this.
- All right.
- Thank you.
While I'm here, I'd like to ask you something.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I want you to take this piece of paper.
I want you to take this pencil.
I want you to write down a feeling and put it in the Feelings Jar.
- Why? - You'll see later in Safe Place.
I'm very busy, but I'll be there if I can.
Write down the feeling, Chapman.
All right.
Would you mind signing off on this? I'd like to add someone to my call list.
Alex Vause? It's not a lesbian thing.
Still, you think this is a good idea? No, but she keeps writing me letters, and I think that it would help to give us some closure which is psychologically not without value.
Thank you, Mr.
Healy.
Tell it to the Feelings Jar.
That's a great word.
So what was it, Frieda? Why did you do it, huh? Is it because I didn't let you grow pot? Because I over-watered your tomatoes? What did it take to sell me out? Red, I don't know what you're talking about.
- I give you fiber supplements! - Red, come on.
I give you BENGAY! - And this is how you repay me? - Red! Hey, hey! I I don't know what she's talkin' about.
Fuck.
Red, come on, you just got your family back.
You wanna mess things up making crazy accusations? I know it's her.
She's the Judas.
Oh, and you're Jesus, huh? Come on.
You don't know she talked any more than Norma did.
Norma.
All right now I know you're paranoid.
Look all right, maybe Vee just put two and two together.
You know, we're not talking about Batcave-level secrecy here, right? Yeah, word.
And it's not like you don't talk about this shit in normal volume in public places.
Dummies.
This isn't your bathroom.
I can take a shit where the fuck I want.
And they got contractors on the black side.
Finally getting renovated.
Hell! Moving on up! Don't you have a conscience? Bringing drugs into this place? Don't you remember what happened to Tricia? Yeah.
I remember the Alamo, too, but that don't keep me from eating Mexican food.
And drugs in the prison ain't the craziest thing to ever happen.
I'll tell you what is, though.
You thinking you can open a road and say only white people can drive on it.
Uh-uh.
This America.
The bathrooms may be segregated but the market be free.
Oh, but, uh FYI, somebody did rat you out.
It was Boo.
Puff out.
Well that was a short mystery.
We got billy clubs and helmets and shields.
Man, this stuff is great.
Yeah, hopefully, we never have to use it.
Great, great.
Oh, my God! Is that tear gas? - What? Let me see that.
- Hey! Take it easy.
Careful! Just take an inventory and lock this stuff up in the armory.
Armory? Weapons holding.
- The big closet! - Oh, yeah.
Hey, O'Neill! Look, you're famous.
Hey, let me see that.
You should've used that other picture I took of you.
Okay, okay.
Shush your mush.
What the hell is this? Hunger strike? Oh, yeah, you didn't know about that? No I didn't fucking know about that.
Okay, do you guys know the human megaphone? No, what is it? It's like the Occupy hand signals.
So, what we do is up twinkles for "yay.
" - That means "yes.
" - Twinkle! Down twinkles for "nay.
" For God's sake, we don't need hand signals.
There's only four of us.
Now.
Thinkin' of the future.
Nay.
- Okay, fist up - fist up for "oppose.
" Fist up.
This means, "I have a question.
" All right, who's the leader? We are a leaderless movement, or rather leader-full.
- Let's just say it's you.
- Uh, I'd rather not.
I read your demands.
They're a little confusing.
Well, it's a work-in-progress.
Well, you say you want the B-Dorm bathroom fixed.
Done.
- We did it! Yay! - Yay! You didn't do anything.
It was already happening.
Oh.
You say you want restrictions on the use of the SHU.
What does that mean, exactly? There's no accountability.
People get thrown in for no reason for any period of time, arbitrarily.
Watson's been in there, like, every other month.
She brought that on herself.
As far as the duration of her stay, there is a system in place with strict guidelines, and we are under no obligation to explain to you how it works.
But as it so happens, your friend, Watson, is coming out today.
- Yes! - Congratulations, Yoga! Again, just a coincidence.
Nothing to do with this.
Oh.
Is there anything else? There is a maple syrup situation.
Anything I can take seriously? I have an issue.
What are you going to do about the quality of senior care in this prison? Excellent issue, Sister, but we haven't voted on that yet.
Maybe we could put a pin in it, talk about it later? The elderly are the fastest growing population in prison and they have special needs.
So-called "compassionate release" in lieu of care is completely unacceptable.
You can't dump sick old ladies on the street.
It's unconscionable, inhumane and illegal.
You must meet your obligations.
This just got real.
It's 'cause I called you a pussy, isn't it? It's for Jimmy.
'Cause I called her a pussy.
Thank you so much.
Are you sure we can't offer you money for gas? Just consider it a donation to your so-called church.
- Bye! - Bye! That was wonderful, truly.
It was incredible! Thank you so much for bringing me.
I was afraid nunning was going to be boring, but that was so exciting.
Sisters, where have you been? We were at the rally.
Sister Constance would like to see you immediately.
We aren't in trouble, are we? You told us we had Sister's permission.
- In spirit.
- What? "Open your mouths, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
" Proverbs 31:9.
You duped us.
I can't believe it.
I fell in with the bad nuns.
So, we'll do some penance.
We do penance all day anyway.
At least now it can be for something we're proud of.
I mean, what is the point? To keep our heads down and be well starched? We have no jobs no husbands.
If we don't fight to make the world a better place, who will? The pigs? You know I'm right.
It did feel good.
So, I heard they got a special cell for you in seg.
Got a plaque outside the door that say, "Reserved for Watson.
" Shut the fuck up! You got no idea what it's like, so don't even fucking act like you fucking know.
Take it easy now.
Easy, girl.
You all right, now.
You all right.
You're home now.
I got you.
I'm gonna take care of you now.
Sit down.
Me, too.
Can I get everybody's attention, please? This here is the last call for Safe Place sign-up.
I repeat, it is the last call for Safe Place sign-up.
What the fuck is Safe Place? It's Healy's new thing.
It's like some kind of snitching school.
You go and sound off on people and he gives you a shot off your record.
Serious? Word, I don't lie.
He even got a snitching jar in his office.
Hey, y'all.
Wanna sign up for Safe Place? We're not interested.
How do you know? Bald blacky signed up.
Nah.
You want me to sign up? I could keep an eye on her, like a like an eye-spyer.
Yeah, baby, you do that.
- Safe Place! Thank you.
- That is some good thinking.
- My brain will always be there for you.
- Hey, y'all.
Thinking things so you don't have to.
Safe Place sign-up, last call over here, anyone? Hey, Pennsabama! Wait up.
I know what makes a great radio story.
Alaska's an interesting place.
I wouldn't have gone there if I thought nobody wanted to hear about it.
Pete, can you come sit down? But I'm still venting! We wanna talk to you about something.
Uh-oh.
I sense an ambush here.
Come sit.
I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm Australian.
Sit down.
We don't care if you drink.
Hmm.
Mmm.
Okay, so while you were away, Larry and I spent a lot of time together.
Right.
And? And we became close.
Closer than before.
Okay.
This is awkward.
No, mate.
I know what you're gonna say.
You do? Yeah.
I'm not an idiot.
You think I don't know what's going on here? It's nothing we ever planned.
Of course not.
I mean, it all makes sense.
You Polly and me.
And you? Why not? We're all friends.
No, Pete, this isn't about having a threesome.
Oh.
No? My bad.
What is it? I'm leaving you.
Uh Uh, for him? It hasn't been going on long.
You cuckolded me? I never thought of it that way.
You fucked my wife without me being there, too.
You cuckolded me! Pete, let's admit something.
The moment I had the baby, you bailed.
You're not ready to be a grown-up.
And rebound boy is? Larry fucking shows up.
Look, you think this is easy? I'm ending a marriage, he's ending a relationship, I fucked my best friend's fiancé.
But it's real.
And I think it's the best thing that's ever happened to both of us.
I went away so I could be somebody for our son.
Come on, Pete you know that's not true.
You went away because - Shit! - Oh! Don't tell me what I know.
- Pete! - Fuck! Oh, fuck! - Oh.
Oh, my God.
- Shit.
You got a minute? What, you can't find your other mommy nowhere? Kidding.
What? You should be walking on air, the way this shit turned out.
The way what shit turned out? There's a dude going to jail because of me.
Yeah but at least you and Stumpy get to limp off into the sunset.
I can't even fucking look at him.
And now everybody knows I'm pregnant.
That is never gonna work.
I'm so fucking stupid.
Hey, it's all right.
It's all right.
A lot of people are stupid and still live full, productive lives.
At least you know you're getting paid.
Paid? Oh, Jesus, girl, didn't I teach you nothing? You get raped by a guard, you get to sue the government.
Plus, even better, you got a baby which means child support from Mendez and extortion money from Gimpy.
I'm telling you, this rape is the best thing that ever happened to you.
The only reason them bitches is talking is because they jealous.
And then what happens when the baby ends up with no daddy? Another fucking barrio baby.
You don't think about that.
You was raised in a non-traditional setting and you turned out great.
Thanks, Ma.
Sure, no problem.
Just remember me when them checks start comin' in.
An inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison is attempting to contact you.
To accept this call, please press one.
So, in your letter, you claim you tried to ask if I could get the same deal you got, but what you failed to explain is why after you coached me in exactly what to say in my testimony, you suddenly do an about-face and say the exact opposite thing.
You want the long version or the short version? I want the short version.
You have one minute.
Oh.
It's like that, huh? No, my phone credit is running low.
Look, Piper I was facing more time than you.
My lawyer told me that my testimony would put Kubra away for sure and that I could walk that same day.
Congratulations.
Your lawyer is a better lawyer than Larry's dad.
No, he isn't.
He was wrong.
Kubra walked.
What? There was a mistrial.
Some dumb fuck mishandled the evidence.
He's out.
So I'm the only one who went to prison? I tell you that Kubra's free after I testify against him and that's all you have to say? Well, I mean, they're protecting you, right? Yeah they're protecting me.
There's around-the-clock surveillance.
And by that, I mean I see my probation officer every week for about 20 minutes.
Oh, my God.
Alex Alex, are you serious? - Where are you right now? - Queens.
You're in Queens? I was just there! What? Never mind.
I can't get into that right now.
Alex, you shouldn't be in New York.
Alex, you should be in fucking Nevada or or Argentina or something.
That's fine.
Thomas Pynchon hid in New York for years.
And Queens isn't that bad.
No one comes to visit, but it has pretty good Greek food.
Besides, I'm not allowed to leave the fucking state.
It's part of my release.
You have 30 seconds remaining for this call.
Oh, shit! You couldn't have added more credit before calling me? I need to talk to you.
Well, I didn't plan ahead.
I need to talk to you in person.
Can you get me on your visitation list? Well, I'll try, but, Alex, are you sure are you sure that you're safe? Yeah, I'm fine.
Just get me on your list and we can talk about it then.
Okay.
Fuck! Motherfucker! You call that 30 seconds? Hey, that's federal property You're federal property! Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Menses, it's menses madness.
Ew, just go.
Come on, open up.
I know you're in there.
I saw you go in.
What do you want? You know what I want.
I want you to separate your damn recyclables.
And you can't keep leaving cardboard boxes outside.
You need to break 'em down first.
I see you! - What? - Oh, you're not Mrs.
Woo.
No, I'm not Mrs.
Woo.
I'm Alex.
Hey, I'm Jay.
I, uh I deal with the garbage.
I'm sorry about the boxes.
I'll break them down next time.
That's all I ask.
Welcome to the building.
Yeah.
Oh, Alex! Alex Vause? What? Some Arab guys were looking for you.
Maybe not Arab, but you know dusky gentlemen.
Well, you're right.
It was good you hid the Aleut whaling spear.
- Sorry.
- No I'm glad I was here to tell him with you.
I mean it was the right thing to do under the circumstances.
Honestly, Pete is secretly jumping up and down with joy to be let off the hook.
He just needed to affirm his manhood.
Maybe he can fuck Piper and we'll have reciprocity.
Well, Piper and I actually actually ended in a good place.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I still need to work some shit out with her, but I'm glad you two are good.
So that's it, huh? Piper knows Pete knows.
We're doing this.
We're doing this.
You can still leave.
Leave? Why would I leave? I guess I don't know what you get out of this relationship.
And I'm scared, because what happens when you wanna trek across an ice field? I can guarantee you that I will never wanna trek across an ice field.
I know.
You're so not rugged.
That is not true.
- I once did Israeli Army summer camp.
- Mmm-hmm.
I shot Uzis in a desert with a commander named Shmulik, so I can do rugged.
It's the cold I don't like.
Idiot.
You know, you're the only person I've ever met who can call me an idiot without actually making me feel like one.
Maybe I'm using the wrong inflection.
We all have feelings and some feelings that we feel are so strong that it's hard for us to be the person that we know in our hearts that we can be.
So what's the best way for us to deal with these kinds of powerful and dangerous feelings? Let 'em have it.
No talk about them.
If we talk about our problems, it makes it easier for us to process our feelings and it helps us to realize that we're not alone.
Who'd like to start the sharing for today? Oh, me.
Hold on.
Hey, let's let's start with Flores.
- Me? - Yeah.
This is a talking stick.
Whoever's gonna be talking in the group will be carrying that stick.
How do you feel? Good.
Good? You're sure? Yeah I feel very happy.
Okay, the thing is I don't believe you.
And for Safe Place to work, you're gonna have to be really honest about how you're feeling.
Here you wanna take a look at the feelings chart? Okay.
I feel very depressed.
- Good.
- Good? You just made her say that and now she feels crappy.
Hey! Excuse me, you can't talk without the talking stick.
Why? You don't have one.
Oh, doesn't apply to me.
I'm the group facilitator.
No no, you're not.
- I'm not? - No.
With that being said, I want this place to be a place where you all feel free to talk within the given guidelines.
Tell you what let's switch.
- Here, you take the stick.
- No.
- Come on.
- I I don't got nothing to say.
Sure you do.
Just tell us how you're feeling.
Bored.
Bored isn't a feeling.
What do you mean, it's not a feeling? It's not on the feelings chart.
Fine! Mad.
I feel mad.
Okay.
And why do you feel mad? 'Cause you told me I couldn't feel bored! Sorry.
You're late.
I thought it was in the chapel.
Take a seat.
Okay, Washington, you were saying? I wasn't saying anything.
What is the point of this? To get a shot off your record.
No the point is to help you to start to get in touch with your feelings.
Did it ever occur to you that we don't wanna get in touch with our feelings? That actually feeling our feelings might make it impossible to survive in here? Look I'm trying to look out for you.
Everybody in here, we have to look out for each other.
Now you look like you got hurt.
What happened? Nothing happened.
- What? - Washington what happens in Safe Place stays in Safe Place.
That's why it's called Safe Place.
Nothing happened.
I slipped in the shower.
Totally random.
We have a limited amount of time and the pressure needs to come from outside.
Who have you already talked to about this? I have some activist friends I told to get the word out.
- Who are they? - Terry and Gus.
Gus is a webmaster for an anti-logging blog, and Terry runs a bakery that sells anti-authoritarian cupcakes.
Contact the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, and the National Catholic Social Justice Lobby.
They can network with the major newspapers.
Okay okay back up.
I have to say something.
I was told this is a leaderless movement, and I'm feeling uncomfortable with the fact that you're really I feel, acting like a leader.
Because we all got ideas but you were the last one to join up.
Yeah, and I also feel that way.
I'm sorry that you feel I've been leader-y.
Everyone's ideas are important.
That's okay.
- It's water under the creek.
- We forgive you! Long as you know all our interests gots to be represented 'cause me and Angie got some new demands.
- We would like more dessert options.
- Yeah! And field trips.
And musical guests in the prison, like Johnny Cash.
Johnny Cash is dead.
I want what I want.
Oh, boy! You'll never believe this.
We ordered too many pizzas.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Anybody want a slice? - That's dirty warfare.
- Uh, maybe but that is one good-looking pie.
- Leanne, Angie! What are you doing? - Nothing.
We're smelling it.
We're just smelling it.
That's allowed.
It sure does smell good, doesn't it? Little Caesars.
It's the only thing better than getting what you want.
That should be their slogan.
Why are we punishing ourselves when we're already being punished? That makes no sense.
Yeah, we could still say we're not eating and nobody would know.
Leanne your mind is the enemy.
Don't listen to your mind - Angie! - I'm just licking it.
A lick is all right.
- It's all right.
Let them eat.
- What? Go ahead, girls.
Take a break from your values.
I am.
That is another good slogan! What did you do that for? We don't need them.
They confuse our message.
They're half our movement! What happened to everyone's ideas being important? - I changed my mind.
- Hey, look.
I'm Edward Pizzahands.
So when they arrest us that's 14 arrests for me.
That's two more than Sister JoAnn, and five more than Sister Patricia even though she's the little darling over there at Friends of the Earth.
- That's not what's important.
- It's a bonus.
I guess we should've brought more banners.
I know.
What a shitty day to do this.
I mean, does anybody work here? Hello! - We're trespassing! - Shh! Oh, Gene, take a picture.
What's that? When Sister Patricia was protesting the Portsmouth Plant, she threw a pint of blood.
So what, you brought a quart? Two quarts.
Fake.
Costume blood.
The blood that Sister Patricia threw was from an actual victim of radiation poisoning.
The pictures will look spectacular! What? I don't think you're doing this in the right spirit.
Don't talk to me about spirit.
Without me, you're just a couple of hippies on welfare.
I'm the one who gives you credibility, all right? You're ready, Gene? Get snapping.
- Help! - All right, pigs! Don't make another move or the bitch gets it! What did you do that for? That's the drill.
We don't negotiate for hostages.
So you let me kill her? Yeah, seriously, O'Neill? Okay, I'm pretty sure I knocked the gun away.
I'm pretty sure she's still alive.
No, I killed her.
I shot her in the face.
The bullet entered the left eye socket and exited through the back of her head.
There's blood and brains everywhere.
Hey, Watson.
Didn't mean to startle you.
Just wanted to say I'm happy you're back.
You know, one good thing to come out of all this? It got me motivated to join the hunger strike.
Do you know about that? I haven't eaten in a week.
So what? Am I supposed to be grateful? I'm not here to make you feel good about yourself, all right? You got guilt about something that's not my problem.
No, it's not anything like that.
Look I don't feel like being your token black friend.
So don't talk to me anymore.
Okay.
Fine.
Sure, baby you know, I can get you anything you want.
'Cause around here, I'm like King Bee, you know what I'm saying? Hey, Red.
Aren't you usually playing with the garden club about now? The greenhouse is closed for a little while.
There's a health hazard that needs to be sorted out.
Really? What? A rat.
What the hell? Hey, take a walk, bouncy boobs.
All right, none of you bitches better come near me.
Relax, we're not going to hurt you.
Here.
You asked for these.
Enjoy them.
It'll be the last favor I ever do for you.
Oh.
I'm out of the family.
What a shame.
Especially since our relationship has always involved such a high degree of mutual respect.
You need more love? I don't need shit.
Fuck your Jolly Ranchers.
There are houses on this block with much better candy.
You'd rather eat at Vee's table, would you? Yeah so what? Does that make me some kind of race betrayer? I mean, give me a fucking break.
You come down here with your scarecrows, trying to act all gangster? You buy loyalty with candy and skin care products.
I mean, your gang looks like a bunch of half-price Garbage Pail Kids Red you're a fucking joke.
You're right.
I'm a joke.
I'm sure you'll be better off on your own.
I know I fucking will! Boo got Boo and that's all Boo needs.
Boo.
Fuck.
Thank you for making those.
I should help.
It's okay, I got it.
You should conserve your energy.
Queens, huh? I should hook her up with my buddy, Michel.
He runs a strip joint underneath the Queensboro Bridge.
Well, it's full nude, but they don't serve alcohol.
It's just such a fucked situation.
I know, man, that's the law.
'Cause I I guess some schmuck decided that nudity and booze at the same time's just too much fun.
It's probably a Mormon with six wives.
I'm talking about Alex.
She should be under witness protection.
What do you care? I mean, didn't she screw you over in Chicago? Oh, that's right.
That's kind of how you two relate, isn't it? It's like Spy vs.
Spy, but sexual.
You know something, this guy, Kubra, he's no joke and they know that.
They're not taking responsibility for the fact that they put her in harm's way.
If it's not part of your deal, it's just not part of your deal.
Yeah, the system doesn't have a conscience and nobody likes extra work.
Oh, by the way we're gonna be helping to put sandbags around the lake in electrical this week.
What? What does that have to do with electrical? If the lake overflows during the storm, then we all get electrocuted.
I don't know.
It's not like there's a sandbag department.
Officer, confiscate those markers, paper, posters, all of it.
But these are just art supplies.
They are a privilege that has been abused.
It's not a privilege.
It's a right! Careful, Sister, don't stand up too fast.
We have freedom of speech.
You did and then you broke the law.
Where do you think you are? And as for this no more.
This little experiment in free expression, Waldorf-style prison is over.
Fucking cunt.
You didn't need to do that.
You let 'em get a rise out of you, gives them more power.
Oh, is that what your mommy told you when you were being bullied? A hunger strike, really? What should I be doing, force-feeding them? - Why not? - Because I can't.
Unless they're unconscious.
Then I can do it if they don't have a DNR.
Fine, then try and get them while they're sleeping.
We have a responsibility to feed these women three square meals a day, and I am a defender of women.
Do you want me to do anything else, sir? It's all right.
It's gonna play itself out.
An embarrassment? It should be a triumph.
I I was on the cover of The New York Times.
You see, that is exactly the issue.
It's not about service to God it's about you.
You're a narcissist.
That's not true.
No? You timed this protest to coincide with your book release and you didn't even credit your ghostwriter.
I'm giving all the proceeds to charity.
I'm doing God's work.
Hey you know what this stands for? Vatican II.
Are you not happy being a nun? No! I love being a nun.
If I seem prideful, it's only because I love the work I do and because I'm really good at it.
By your own estimation.
There is a page in your book I'd like to read for you.
"I have never heard Christ clearly in my heart.
"Either my heart's hard of hearing, or Christ can be a bit of a mumbler "and so I've learned to trust in my own moral instincts.
" It's a joke.
I'm comparing my marriage to Christ to a typical marriage.
"But it wasn't my moral instincts "that led me to Nicaragua in the summer of '88.
"It was a young freedom fighter named Carlos.
" Okay "With rock-hard abs under his jungle fatigues "Carlos was revolutionary in more ways than one "and overthrowing the Sandinistas was not his only objective.
" Okay, now, that chapter's there for the mommy book-club crowd.
They need a little beefcake with their politics.
I'm sorry, Sister, but the church has decided we can't support you any longer.
Support me? You mean you won't pay my legal fees? I mean we can't support you period.
What do you mean, she's not coming? She said she doesn't wanna do it anymore.
And no more contraband either.
But we just started.
Is this about the black one? What? Fuck you! Not you.
You're not one of the bad ones.
She means Vee.
Red would rather kill the tunnel than let her take it.
That's the one with the big hair.
I know her.
But I love being in touch with the soil.
I know.
This club is the best thing that's happened to me since work exemption.
Well, maybe Red isn't thinking straight.
When the pirates are boarding, you don't sink the ship, you fight the damn pirates.
Say again? How 'bout I kill the bitch? Then we played a game called Human Knot where we all held hands and tried to unknot the knot without letting go.
And Flores she got accidentally got tickled and started laughing and then we all started laughing and it was so Sounds mad gay.
Yeah, it was mad gay.
Yo, what y'all talking about? She went to keep an eye on Poussey in Healy's thing.
You didn't have to do that.
I told you, she ain't no fink.
You said that.
But you know what? I'm not really sure where your loyalties lie these days.
What do you think, Suzanne? Well, I don't think she's gonna talk, but I was a little disturbed by her contribution to the group poem.
It's a lot of anger.
It's a lot of fear.
Well, of course there was with you right there.
You would spook a vampire.
If you would've had me go, it would've been better.
And if ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.
And if snitches and bitches were wine and beer we'd all have a happy New Year.
Am I right? If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
Why do you keep defending her over your family? I'm not.
I I just think she's been through enough.
But you don't have to worry about her, Vee, for real.
Fine, I don't worry.
But from now on, she's your responsibility.
Anything happens again it's on you.
What happened? She fainted.
For a second.
I'm not unconscious.
I'm not unconscious.
Sister, I talked to your compatriots.
I think there's been a decision made.
Let me guess.
You gave up.
It's just not safe anymore especially for you.
That's an excuse.
Did you contact the media like I asked you? I tried.
Nobody took the bait with the story.
There's a storm coming.
You're damn right there's a storm coming.
No, I don't mean it that way.
There's actually a big winter storm that's dominating all the news.
It's just bad timing.
Wait a minute.
Sister's a nun.
You're telling me that's not a story? Yeah, it's less of one since she's been excommunicated.
Labels.
They told me that they'd reconsider letting me back in the church if I showed contrition in prison, but bad habits die hard.
Bad habits.
Get it? It's good to be back in the saddle.
Yeah, well, unless you get out of the saddle you're gonna be riding straight into medical seg and I don't wanna have to do that.
So let's call it a day, huh? I'll call it a day when you make meaningful changes to the way this prison is run.
I can't do that.
Didn't you hear what she said? There's no point.
You're all alone.
Nobody even knows you're doing this.
You know.
All right.
Have it your way.
Here she comes! Please, Sister, don't do this to yourself.
I'm fine, Sophia.
I feel good.
Almost blissful.
She's delirious.
- Rock on, Sister.
- You're all right.
Fight the power.
She thinks she's a rock star.
She is.
Whatever happened to humility? Isn't that a virtue or something? One of the highest.
People in power are always saying so.
Mr.
Healy, did you hear about the Bugle? I can't do anything about it.
But it was so good.
It really was.
People were taking responsibility.
People were opening up.
It's everything that you wanted to see happen.
- Chapman - I mean, as a as a counselor You're being transferred to Virginia.
What? I received a memo from the warden's office.
Yeah, your name was included on a list with 12 other girls.
Is this because of the paper? Is this because I published the strike demands? Is this Fig? It's not punitive.
We shuffle prisoners around all the time.
We're overpopulated.
The fact that you're on a list it's just a random thing.
When? Maybe in a week.
They usually pick 'em up on Saturday.
No, that's visitation day.
Alex was gonna come visit me.
I don't know if she can come before then.
She said that she needs to speak with me in person.
Chapman you're going down south.
Not having closure with Alex Vause would be the least of your problems.
How much longer? How much how much longer with this level of noise? Probably a few hours.
All right, as long as it gets done.
It'll get done.
I see B-Dorm bathroom is being fixed.
That's right.
Funny how things work out sometimes.
Yo, Vee! I'm not with Red anymore, so I'm all yours.
- Mine? - Yeah.
But why would I want you? I did right by you, Vee.
I gave you the 411.
I don't like snitches.
Why are you always so quiet? Why do I always have to do all the talking? Oh, rest in the Lord Wait patiently for Him What the fuck did I do? What did I do? I'm awake.
I'm awake.
I'm awake! I'm awake! I'm awake! No, don't feed me! I did not give my permission! This is not right! It's not fair! No, please! Please!