Parenthood s02e11 Episode Script

Go ahead.
Are you serious? Yep! If you tell your mother, you're dead.
Alex is the volunteer coordinator here.
Oh, hi.
I'm an alcoholic.
I've been in recovery for five months.
And I'm telling you this because relationships, romantic relationships, just aren't good for me right now.
Okay, Drew, pay attention here.
This is like a very important man lesson.
See, it's psychologically purging.
You got the old, miserable disgusting oil here Yeah, I can tell.
It's kind of like Like popping a pimple or something.
Oh, man, you got to get out of my head.
What is going on down there? Hey! Well, nothing.
We're changing the oil in the beast.
Well, I don't know how that's going to look in a note to your teacher.
"Drew was changing the oil in a Yeah, I should get going, though.
You're a mess.
Go change your shirt.
You look like you work at a gas station.
Man, I can't believe I forgot about school.
I think Are they starting earlier? No, Dad, same old regular time.
Oh, well.
So, um, was he talking to you? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I had to tell him to shut up.
Thanks for spending time with him.
I love him.
He's my grandson, you know.
I love you and the tractor and I love him.
Who comes first? Tractor.
I knew it.
I'm going to school.
I'll be home by 10:30.
Whoa, Nelly.
Okay, I'll be come at 10:00.
Where are you going tonight? Exactly.
To a friend's house, God! Whose house are you going to? Jenna's.
I don't know.
Yes, you do.
Mom! Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Fine.
Can I go? Fine.
Call me.
Great.
Thanks.
See you.
- I love you.
- Bye! She's lying.
Haddie's lying? You think? Yep.
I think she's lying.
I think she's going to see that boy, Alex.
Well, wait a minute.
We don't know that she's lying, okay? You know, she needs a consequence because she lied.
What? Max.
If she's lying she needs a consequence or she's gonna keep lying.
I would.
How's that oatmeal? Mmm.
Tastes kind of mushy.
Mmm.
Do you know that oatmeal is what they call porridge in fairy tales? Oh, my What Oh.
No.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
Oh, wait, don't touch it.
Oh! What? I got to.
Is it hurt? Ugh.
I think it's stunned.
Well, will it be okay? Yeah, sweetie, it'll be fine.
Hey, you know if you go find a shoe box, we'll make a bird hospital.
He'll be fine, right? We'll see.
Oh, babe, don't take it in the house.
What? No, it's not hygienic.
It's not hygienic? No, it's not.
- Come on.
- No, it's not sterile.
Hi, my name is Alex, and I'm an alcoholic.
Hi, Alex.
They say you have to hit rock bottom before you can humble yourself and give up your dependence.
They also say if you give up that dependence, you start to feel life again.
And I'm here to tell you that it is true, that piece by piece, step by step, you start to feel your life coming back.
Now, I made a friend.
And she really showed me that I had something to offer.
You know, she showed me my worth.
I never thought that I would meet someone that was so kind, unselfish, so caring.
So, I want to thank her.
I want to thank my sponsor.
I want to thank all of you for reminding me what I'm fighting for.
So thank you.
Thanks for coming with me.
You didn't have to.
I mean, thank you for letting me come.
Um, your friend who you were talking about, it's me, right? Yes, of course it is.
I feel really lucky.
Hey, Jabbar, what happened in your room? Did something explode in there? Um No.
No? Did you see his room when you were getting him dressed? Clothes, toys, crayons everywhere.
It was a mess.
I didn't notice.
Jabbar, you've got to be more responsible with your things.
Put them away when you're done using them.
I wasn't done using them.
If you're going to bed, you're done using them.
I need you to get up right now, go in there and clean up your room.
Get some done before school.
Let's go.
I guess your mom wants you to do it.
You'd better go.
"I guess your mom wants you to"? What's that? You should want him to, too.
And by the way, a shrug doesn't constitute having my back on this.
I don't think I shrugged.
But I don't No, you totally shrugged.
Okay, well, I'm sorry if I don't think it's important for a little kid to clean his room.
I mean, he's a little kid.
It's just going to get messy again.
All right, he has to learn responsibility.
Okay.
And that's our job as parents to teach him that.
Okay.
Okay? We need to be on the same page.
We have to discipline him.
I need you to back me up on that.
Okay.
Okay? We're a team.
You know, this is good, but Judge Gayner's a hardass.
I need you to find evidence that they were actively involved in the infringement.
Knock-knock.
Hey, sorry.
Hi.
Um, what are you doing? Why Why are you here? I'm sorry.
Okay, anyway, you've got that, right? You're all over it? I'm on it.
Okay.
Yeah, you should take lunch anyway.
Hi.
Okay.
Why Why are you here? "Hi, Sarah.
Great to see you.
Are those cupcakes? What an unexpected treat.
" All of the above.
And why are you here? Well, because I have some exciting news and I brought us some lunch.
Okay.
Let's hear it.
I made a New Year's resolution, one I can really keep.
Cool.
What? I've decided I'm never going to date anyone ever again.
Good.
Right? Because I want to have fun this year and my relationships are not fun.
Ergo, to wit, don't have any.
I'm using a little legal jargon there for your comfort.
Mmm-hmm.
I noticed that.
I'm going to do fun things.
I'm going to go to museums and, uh, you know, read more.
I'm going to have a girls' night out with my sister.
When was the last time we had a girls' night out? I don't know that we've ever had a girls' night out.
Come on.
Wouldn't it be fun? You're asking me to hang out with you? Is that what's happening? Yes.
Do you want to party like it's 1999 or what? Okay.
That's kind of my 13-year-old fantasy coming true, actually.
It is? Did you think I was so cool? Yeah.
Aw.
We get to hang out, my cool older sister.
Well, now I think you're cool, and I really need you as a friend.
So, what do you say? Okay.
Good.
We're going to have fun.
Yo, Holt, catch! Whoa, nice catch.
What's up? How was your baseball camp? Aw, dude, it was awesome.
That's good, I guess.
Yeah, man.
And it got me away from those crazy relatives, which I could not be happier about.
Yeah.
Um, so what did you end up doing? I actually spent time with relatives.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
No, that's fine.
My grandfather's cool.
He let me drink beer and stuff.
And we just hung out.
Wait.
Shh.
Wait.
Your grandpa let you drink? Oh, yeah, totally.
He always has like a case of beer in his fridge in the garage, and we go back there and chill out.
He just let you You guys just drink casually together.
Uh, yeah.
That's awesome, dude.
It's so rad.
His grandpa has got a bar in the garage.
I think that that sounds like a field trip.
Yeah, it does.
Well That'd be cool if we came over after school and, um, got some brewskies? Yeah, totally.
Rock on, man.
Hell, yeah.
Party.
You're awesome.
Yeah.
This is going to help you, little guy.
Well, crap.
Oh, that's dead.
Oh, man.
How's Amelia? Oh, uh, she She's great.
She just, uh, drank some water.
And now she's, um, sleeping.
Shh.
We should be quiet then.
Come on up into my room and play.
Okay, good idea.
You'd never know it because she's always wearing that green dress thing, but Miss Watson is super hot.
Miss Watson? Yeah, I saw her last summer playing volleyball in booty shorts.
She pulls it off.
Nah, I'm all about Miss Gonzales.
Oh, that's true.
They should not let 28-year-olds teach Spanish to high school dudes.
Every time she rolls that "R" I can't concentrate.
I just want to get right under that tongue and Uh, I wouldn't really mind being in one of those teacher-student sex scandal things with her.
Yo quiero sexo with Miss Gonzales.
Is that even Spanish? You're full of it, dude.
How would you conjugate "Let me see you naked," in Spanish? I don't think that's really I failed.
Shut up.
BRADLEY: I'm going to let you all know.
Yeah, yeah, I think that would be Hey.
So, guess what? The bar is now closed.
I didn't see any cars in the driveway, so I guess you'll be walking home, correct? - Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
Okay.
I'll see you after school.
- Peace, man.
- Sorry.
Hey, gringo, you got my beer there.
Sorry, sir.
Later.
Grandpa, I'll pay you back for these if you want.
Grandson, when I gave you that beer at Thanksgiving, this isn't what I had in mind.
I know.
I totally know that.
Drew, you look at me.
You are such a good kid.
Now, you don't need to impress anybody.
You hear me? All right.
And I don't want this to happen again.
All right? Okay.
The thing is, you never know what's going to be in these boxes.
Why? What do you mean? Excuse me.
People will donate anything.
We got to go through these boxes and figure out if people actually wear these clothes.
Why? What's like the weirdest thing that you've found? You know, this rates up in the top five at least.
That does? This is hot, right? That's disgusting.
That's disgusting.
You know why? It shouldn't be in here.
This is not clothing.
This is so weird.
I mean, somebody wants, um, clothes This shirt is horrible.
Like my grandfather would not even This stuff is horrible.
Hey, Dad.
Hey.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Well, I was in the area and I wanted to stop by and see where you've been spending so much time.
Right.
Yeah.
Alex.
Adam Braverman.
Nice to meet you, Mr.
Braverman.
Pleased to meet you.
Oh, you can just call him Adam.
You have a great girl.
She's been a huge help to me around here.
Well, thank you very much.
She's a good kid.
Okay.
Uh, I was going to take the bus home, but since you're here, why don't we just go now? Okay.
I'll see you.
Nice to meet you, Alex.
Nice to meet you, too.
See you.
Bye.
Dad? Say, Alex? I was wondering if you'd like to come over some night for dinner.
Dad, he's really busy here.
One One second.
You know, I'd I'd actually love that.
Yeah? Yeah, a lot.
How's Wednesday? Wednesday works.
Great, see you then.
See you then.
See you then.
Come on, honey.
Hey, Haddie, I'm going to go to the market today.
What do you think your friend would like for dinner? Hey, it's your thing.
You should really go wild.
Well, I know, but We don't want to double up on anything you guys make at the soup kitchen.
Like soup.
No soup.
No soup.
Just kidding.
Real funny.
Mom, are you going to make something weird? Because usually when guests come over, you make weird stuff.
I don't cook weird stuff.
We don't want to make anything weird.
Who's the guest? We're gonna make something nice It's nobody.
Who's the guest? Just somebody I work with that Dad wants to come over.
Is it the boy from the food bank that you lied about? Okay, great.
Okay, stop this.
No! No hitting! Hey, hey, hey, hey.
That's uncalled for.
You don't have to shove your brother's head.
Exactly.
- We were playing.
- How about rosemary chicken? Fine.
All right.
Things look sad when they're dead.
Great observation, honey.
Mortality makes you snippy.
I just feel uncomfortable lying to Syd.
Well, all right, we'll tell her.
Yeah? Good.
Yeah.
What should we say? I was thinking something along the lines of, um "The bird is dead.
" Do you like that? Uh, yeah, well, that's a little harsh.
Well, what else can we say? I mean, it's nature.
It is harsh.
Well, does she need to know at age six that nature is harsh? If Syd lived on a farm, she'd have seen death 100 times by now.
Let's move to a farm.
She's so innocent and happy and she doesn't understand.
It's just Who wants to bring that little surprise to the party? Well, if we bring up heaven, it will be a lot less scary.
No.
I mean, I know you and I are probably not going, but Funny.
What exactly are you going to tell her about heaven? The normal stuff.
You mean the made-up stuff? Yeah, the made-up stuff.
I don't want to lie to her.
You don't know that it's lying.
You don't know.
Well, exactly.
You don't know.
That's the point.
That's what faith is.
You don't know.
Is Amelia awake yet? Hi, sweetie.
There she is.
No, she's still asleep.
She's sleeping a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
You know, um, birds, when they're recovering from a concussion, which is what Amelia is recovering from, they do tend to sleep a lot.
Tons.
I mean, a day or two days.
Even three is not uncommon for a bird.
Yeah.
And because glass is so hard and their brains are so very, very soft.
Okay, but I can't wait till she wakes up! Mmm.
Yeah.
Me Me too.
Get out of here, guys.
Okay, time for school.
Bye, Daddy.
Goodbye, turnip.
Love you.
Love you.
Have a good one.
- This can't go on! - I know.
Hey, your mom's going to be home soon.
You want to clean up your room a little bit? After I'm done playing.
Excuse me? After I'm done playing.
Oh, yeah, when's that going to be? When you're 11 and start liking girls? What? All right, listen.
Let's have a little talk.
Let's have a little man talk.
All right.
Okay, now I don't want to do that generic dad thing and bark orders at you or bribe you.
I want to talk to you like a man.
I mean, you're a mature young man.
I think we can talk about this logically.
Can we have a man talk? Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
You don't like cleaning your room.
I get it.
I don't like cleaning my room either.
But it's important.
Hey, look at me.
It's important to your mom, okay? So, that means we got to do it.
'Cause our job as guys, we got to make our ladies happy.
All right? Okay.
Does that make sense? Mmm-hmm.
Okay, good.
So, you'll clean up your room? Yep.
Okay.
All right.
You know what? I'll even help you this one time.
But then you got to do it yourself after that.
It will be our secret.
Secret on three? One, two, three.
Secret! All right.
Great.
See, that's how you communicate.
You make a plan and you get it done.
Just two guys teaming up on a hard job.
The work just blows right by.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, hey, I heard you had some of the guys over.
- Grandpa told me.
- Uh, yeah.
What were you guys doing, making trouble? Look, Mom, it wasn't that big of a deal, okay? We just What? We had a few beers.
No one was drunk or anything.
What? Nothing.
No, I'm Look, Mom, I had the guys over.
Who gave you beer? Nobody.
I knew that it was in Grandpa's barn.
So, I invited them over and we had a few beers.
And, I mean, me and Grandpa had a beer on Thanksgiving and I told them about it and they kind of invited themselves over.
And, I don't know, they were just using me, obviously.
So, Grandpa gave you a beer on Thanksgiving? Uh, yeah.
Okay, well, you're not to have them over again.
Look, Mom, can we talk about this later? Sorry.
- Hey, Dad? - Yeah? Did you give Drew a beer at Thanksgiving? Yeah.
Yeah, and I gave one to Adam and Crosby at about the same age.
Why? I really wish you hadn't done that.
And I hope you won't do that again.
Well, sweetheart, I don't know.
I think it's a good idea to teach guys how to handle alcohol before they go out there and make idiots out of themselves.
Maybe that was okay for Adam and Crosby, but they didn't have a father who was an alcoholic.
Well I don't know if Seth was an alcoholic.
I know that he was a self-indulgent bum who couldn't get a job.
Seth is an alcoholic.
Seth is a drug addict.
And you should have told me you found those guys in there drinking.
Okay.
Okay, now, wait a minute here, now.
I shut it down, honey.
I handled it.
So, I really don't see what the problem is here.
The problem is that I chose an addict to be the father of my children and I worry every day that they have that in them, too.
So, please, let me handle this, okay? Okay.
Thank you.
Let me answer the door.
No, we'll get the door.
Just let me answer it.
We got it.
We got it.
We got it.
We got it.
We got it.
Hi, Alex.
Hey.
How are you guys doing? Hi, how are you? Thanks for having me.
Hi, I'm Kristina.
- Hello.
Pleasure.
- Nice to meet you.
It smells great in here.
I cooked all day.
Um, thank you.
You didn't have to bring flowers.
Well, they're not actually for you.
They're for your mom.
Oh.
You're kidding.
That is so sweet of you.
Thank you.
Is this Haddie's boyfriend? Uh, this is my brother, Max.
Hey, what's going on? I heard a lot about you, little man.
You're black.
Sorry.
I'm sure Haddie told you about Max.
Max, that is not polite.
No, it's quite all right.
You're absolutely right.
I am black.
Technically a little brown.
You know, my uncle Crosby is marrying a black woman, and they have a son who is half black.
And if you and Haddie had a kid, he'd look just like Jabbar.
Oh, God.
We're going to go and check the chicken.
Jabbar would have a twin.
Wouldn't that be so awesome, guys? That's probably not going to happen tonight.
Yeah, probably not.
So, the cool thing about the Hercules beetle is that it's sexually dimorphic.
Mmm, I knew there was something special about that beetle.
Now, the female Hercules beetle does not have horns.
It's larger bodied, but shorter than the male.
Yeah, I have a book in my room that shows you the difference.
Well, that's cool.
I want to see it.
You know, I like bugs, too.
I had to live with them sometimes growing up.
Why? Because bugs tend to live in old buildings, buildings that haven't really been taken care of.
Oh, you're poor.
Max.
I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.
- I prefer honesty in people.
So, Alex, how did you get involved with the food bank? Um, that's a funny story.
I used to eat there.
Really? Yeah.
The place saved my life.
Wow.
That's something.
Yep.
Yeah, um, my mom passed away a few years ago, and it was I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't know that.
Thanks.
No, it's okay.
I'm all right.
It was a while ago.
But my dad He never really recovered.
He was in a bad place.
Had some demons he couldn't get rid of.
He wouldn't get help.
So, I ate quite a few meals there.
Wow.
That must have been a difficult time.
I mean, it was.
But you can't make people's choices for them, right? So, when I was 16, I emancipated myself.
Mmm-hmm, which was really brave.
Wow, so you've been living like an adult since you were Haddie's age? Sixteen.
Mmm-hmm.
Wow.
Very impressive.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I mean, to be completely honest, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
But I'm in a good place now.
I'm getting my credits together to finish high school, I'm managing the food bank.
What I really want to do is have a career in social services.
Or politics, remember? Or politics, but I really want to give back to the system first.
- I know.
But, I mean, we talked about - You would do well.
I I guess.
Do you want to go to college? College? Yeah.
I'd like that.
I'd have to figure some things out first.
Mmm-hmm.
But right now I really want to get through a year on the program.
What program? I'm in AA.
What does that mean? I've heard it before.
It's, uh, Alcoholics Anonymous.
So, you're an alcoholic.
Well, not anymore.
Well, you're always an alcoholic, just, uh, I've been sober for six months.
Good for you.
Um, yeah, this is really boring.
My bug book would be so much more interesting than this.
I am going to go get it.
All right.
I just got my six-month chip.
Haddie went with me.
She did? Mmm-hmm.
- Congratulations.
That's great.
You should be really proud of yourself.
That's tough to do.
Good for you.
Um I'm solid.
I want you guys to know that.
I get that you guys are parents, and I understand how crazy all this must sound.
But you go down the road you go down when you're younger.
You learn what you learn from From watching, imitating what you see, what's right in front of you.
But when you grow up, you get to make your own choices, choices that are going to define who you are, you know, your morals, what you will stand for and what you'll fall for, who you want to be.
Well, I want to be completely honest with you guys.
So, thank you for letting me be.
Thank you.
Thank you for being so honest.
All right, honey? Hmm? I was very impressed with him.
Mmm-hmm.
Just the way he handles himself is incredibly mature and decent.
Yeah.
I agree.
He's been through a lot.
Yeah, it's amazing how grounded he is.
Mmm-hmm.
He's a great guy, honey.
He's charming.
He's sweet.
He's very nice to Haddie.
He's a very hard worker.
He's very sincere.
He's obviously a smart kid.
He's very smart.
He's gracious.
I mean, he lives by himself.
He lives like an adult.
He has his own place.
He didn't finish high school, either.
Well, he's working on that.
I know.
But still.
Look, I give him a lot of credit for that and for getting sober.
Yeah, I do, too, but But all of that is just It's too much to put on the plate of our 16-year-old daughter.
I completely agree.
If she were 21 years old, different story.
Totally different.
Completely different.
But she's not 21.
She's 16.
And That's way too young.
We have to tell her tomorrow.
It's better to end it now than to let it continue and get serious.
It's the right thing to do.
Definitely.
She's gonna hate us.
She died? When? Uh, just like an hour ago.
Yeah.
Maybe if we put water on her, she might wake up.
Actually, sweetie, no, that's When you die, that's it.
Forever? Yeah.
Well, that's sad.
It is It is sad, bug.
It is sad.
So, everything dies? Yeah, pretty much, hon.
But, you know, um That's kind of the beauty of the world, you know.
It's not It's not permanent.
Are you and Daddy going to die? Am I going to die? Not for a really, really long time.
Yeah.
Like 100 years.
I don't want you to die.
I would miss you.
Well, you don't have to, because we'll see each other in heaven.
Heaven is a beautiful place, and that's where you go when you die.
It's peaceful there and it's happy.
And everyone that you love, everyone that you miss, is there waiting for you.
You know, I don't know if you remember this, but, um When you were really little, Daddy's mom died.
And she's there.
And you get to see her when you go in 100 years.
- Okay.
- That sounds good.
Will Amelia be there? Yup.
Absolutely.
She's probably there already with your grandma.
Okay.
You just like her because she has big blue eyes.
Hey, you guys No.
She likes you.
It's so obvious.
I could hook something up for you, if you're interested, 'cause I think it's gonna I'd have to know happen within the next year.
she felt the same.
She does.
I'm telling you, I talked to her about you You guys I don't know when the right time is to bring this up exactly, but I've been wanting to talk to you.
She's really cute, but just make sure you're not settling because Hey.
When am I I'm not going Hey, you guys, I want to I want to talk to you about drugs and alcohol.
- Yeah, okay.
Really? Sorry, it's a little late.
I know you know everything.
I know how smart you are, okay? - She's on both right now.
- I just want to say, you know, 'cause, Drew, when that thing with the beer and stuff What thing with the beer? You drinking beer? I haven't told you I drank a beer.
You could have sent me a text message.
Listen, you guys, please.
What? Your father had problems in this area.
A lot.
And, you know, that can be a hereditary kind of problem.
You have to be more careful than other kids.
You know that, Drew? Yeah.
Do you understand? Yeah.
Do you hear me? Yeah, I think I hear you.
You have to be careful.
I'll be careful.
Jabbar, I'm really proud of you.
Your room looks beautiful.
Daddy cleaned my room.
He said it was our secret.
Oh, he did, huh? You cleaned his room? Uh, no, that's not I just helped.
No, you did the whole thing.
Well, no, it was a team effort that I might have done the most of.
Finish up with this, okay? Okay.
That is totally not cool.
That's not cool.
I did not mean to do it.
It just happened, okay? It was the easiest thing to do in the moment.
"Easy" is not good parenting.
And easy is lazy, and you're teaching him bad habits.
Oh, I'm a lazy, bad parent I didn't say you're because I don't think a dirty room a lazy, bad parent.
For a 6-year-old is a big deal? I think it's stupid.
This has nothing to do with a clean room or even him! It's you! You won't discipline! You always want to be liked and be the good guy and leaving me with the dirty work.
That's not fair.
You're not his friend, you're his father.
- Even like a restaurant that has a bar.
- We don't have to Yeah! That's number two.
Or we could go to a club and dance or something.
We'll find someplace to go, and we'll have a lot of fun.
Yeah! And guess what? Wherever we are going Yeah I will be drinking some more.
Mmm.
Because I am not pregnant.
Okay.
Yup.
I've actually I've been I've been trying for four months.
Hmm.
Um This is going to be better, right? This is Very nice.
Thank you.
I don't know, the real kind of bummer is that I keep thinking that I am pregnant.
And then I I start to get all sentimental, and I think that there's actually There's a baby inside of me, and then it kind of breaks my heart every time there's not.
So Anyway When did it get so hard to get pregnant? I wasn't really intending it either time, so Right.
See, that's all I need to do, not want to get pregnant.
Dad gave Drew a beer the other day, and I realized I have to tell them what the real story is, that their father could be missing for days at a time, and he wasn't "on tour" like I said, you know.
I just don't know when to tell them how bad it actually was.
I don't want them to be afraid, you know.
Yeah.
How much truth is too much truth? Yes, or enough, but not too much.
You know, this whole thing, again, with Sydney and the afterlife and the death and the bird - Bird? - Bird.
Why did that dumb bird have to die? I mean, couldn't it have just healed itself? Would that have killed it? Birds are so self-centered.
Yes.
And then, poor Joel has to deal with me being so controlling, which I hate about myself, but what I mean, what are you gonna do? You should get those control issues under control.
Thanks.
You should really control those better.
Uh-oh.
Hey, it's okay to come in? Mmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
- Hi, boss.
- Now that's interesting.
- What? See, I keep walking into different rooms in my house and finding people drinking.
Should I be taking it personally? Is it a bad time? Come in, Dad, - and have a drink.
- Right.
I will get you a drink.
Okay.
That's what I will do.
We okay? So, how much do you want? That's good.
Phew.
Okay, may I say something? Please.
You two ladies have done an incredible job being parents.
And I am so proud to have you two beautiful girls.
Thanks, Dad.
Dad We're supposed to be partying right now, not crying.
Jeez! It's girls' night, Dad.
We're supposed to be thinking about boys and lipstick.
- I think I should go with you.
- I do, too.
I think you should get all gussied up.
Let's go dancing.
We'll take Dad dancing.
Yeah.
Your mother and I had a long talk last night, and we have decided that it's best if you don't see Alex anymore.
Uh, is this because he's black? Haddie, come on.
Absolutely not.
Your mother and I are not racists.
Not at all, honey.
Um Then, I I Why? 'Cause I He was sitting here, and you liked him.
I saw you liked him.
We like him very much.
He's a wonderful person, but it's just Right.
So what's the problem? We feel that he's too old for you.
He's just He's He's too grown up.
You know, he has no parents in his life and What does that mean? So? He doesn't even have a high school diploma.
So? I give him a lot of credit for working on it right now.
The AA thing is scary.
But this is too adult a relationship for you.
The fact that he is in AA is scary.
What do you think is gonna happen? I'm not comfortable with him having his own apartment.
Why does it matter what you're comfortable with? - I feel comfortable - Because we are your parents, honey.
and I feel happy.
- We're your parents.
- No, I don't care! Why do you guys get to tell me what I get to do? We know what we're doing.
This came out of nowhere! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, this conversation is over.
No! No! Wait, please! Please, wait! What? Please! We have made our minds up.
You are not to see Alex anymore.
We're sorry.
Great.
Pathetic.
We didn't party like it was 1999.
We didn't even party like it was 1998.
Shh! You shh.
Good morning! Hey! Ow.
How was girls' night out? Ugh.
Pathetic.
Ow! We didn't make it out.
We didn't make it out of the house, Dad.
Uh-huh.
How come you're not hung over? Oh, come on.
That was girly drinking.
Amateur hour.
Okay.
Oh, this is hazelnut.
Man! God! I hate hazelnut.
He's right.
We're flavored-coffee- brewing losers.
Okay, I'm gonna go home, so my husband can make fun of me.
Okay, but we're gonna do this again next week, right? Yeah.
It's girls' night.
It's the year of fun.
It's the year of fun, right? Whoo-hoo.
Hey! Head 'em up.
Move 'em out.
Where are we going? I don't know, getting some air.
We'll go take a hike, whatever we want to do.
All right.
I know we're gonna get in that truck.
I know, we'll go have some coffee because men drink coffee.
You understand that? Uh, yeah, I guess.
It makes sense.
I mean, not all male bonding is done over beer.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of it is, probably way too much of it.
Yeah, but here's the important thing.
Mmm-hmm? Men don't squeal on one another.
Right? Um, okay.
Even under torture.
What are you talking about? You're like a little Chatty Cathy.
Here, hop in.
I'll explain it to you.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Oh, honey, I wish my mom was here to see how great she's turning out.
Aw.
Yeah, I know.
And I I like thinking about her in heaven with that stupid bird.
I kind of hate you for that.
Well, I love you.
Come here.
Holy mackerel, you're sweating alcohol.
Mmm-hmm.
How much did you guys drink last night? A lot.
Yeah.
You look good.
Oh, God.
You look really good.
Jabbar, I just got a call from a walrus who wants to know when we're gonna be getting to the zoo.
Oh, my Buddy, what happened in here? It was just clean.
You could clean my room again.
It could be our secret.
No, no, we're not doing that again, buddy.
I'll clean it up after the zoo.
No, you need to clean it up now.
No! Okay.
Yes.
You You have to clean your room now or we can't go to the zoo.
All right? Listen, Jabbar, you have to clean your room right now or we're not going to the zoo.
I'm not going to do it! Hey, look Don't Oh, then we're not going to the zoo.
That's not fair! Yes, it is fair.
What's not fair is me letting you just go through life thinking that someone's gonna do everything you need doing, okay? That would make me a crappy dad.
Fine, I'll clean it.
Okay, I'm cleaning.
No.
Buddy, it's too late.
It's too late.
Please, Daddy, please.
I really want to go.
No.
I was very clear.
Okay? Please.
Look, I'm cleaning.
See? Cleaning.
No, buddy, I said now we're not going, okay? You're a meany! Okay, stop throwing your stuff.
I hate you! You're so mean! You're the worst.
Mmm! Mmm! I hate you! You're the meanest dad in the world! You're a meany! Hey.
Hey.
What's up? So, what happened? What'd they think about me? Did Did I pass? They thought you were really impressive.
Impressive? I mean, that's it? They loved you.
Okay.
All right, great, 'cause I liked them, too.
You have a really awesome family.
Lunch is in an hour.
Do you wanna go give Donna a hand in the kitchen? Yeah.
Okay.