Resident Alien (2021) s02e11 Episode Script

Previously on "Resident Alien"
I killed him.
How do I live with myself?
Nobody else knew about our meetup.
The men in black took Dr. Ethan.
I thought that would make you change.
As soon as they figure out he's human,
they'll know the alien
is still in Patience.
The alien baby has not returned.
I need to find it so I can get
the rest of Goliath's message.
An alien!
The ball is the only thing
that could've saved your life.
There has to be a mole.
Congratulations, we're
on the same side now.
- Burger.
- Oh, thank you.
What do you have for me on our mole?
Nothing yet.
Well, you better find him,
because whoever it is wants that ball
and will happily kill both of us for it.
You gotta help me.
I shouldn't be in here.
Don't touch me.
We have something happening here.
I'm not an alien.
The aliens are the ones who took me.
They know not to touch the guards.
It's nothing.
Keep looking.
You remember.
You're not supposed to remember.
You're one of them.
You want to stay alive,
don't forget you belong to us.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Did you hear about Gerard?
Ugh, yeah.
It's really sad. He was such a nice man.
He left this cashmere scarf here
last time he was in.
Okay. Um, we have his niece's address,
so we can send it to
No. Absolutely not.
Fine. I'll cold-neck it.
But it's on you if I get the flu.
It's coming on.
I may not be in tomorrow.
I would not mind that.
- Did you hear what I said, Asta?
- Mm.
I said, "I would not mind that,"
if she does not come in.
That was funny.
Ah, yup.
Uh, Gerard Hundemer died last night.
The death certificate's on your desk.
You have to sign it.
He was riddled with disease,
and his breath smelled
like an open grave,
but I am surprised.
I am not surprised,
because I am the one who
killed him last night.
I did not mind Gerard.
He liked me and said I could have
his refrigerator milk after he was dead.
I also took one of his hats.
Mm.
I am going to look for
the alien baby later
if you want to come.
We can get some of those pretzels
that you like.
No, thanks.
Why is she not looking at me?
Are you angry at the pretzels
Or at me?
I'm fine.
She does not seem fine.
I miss happy, smiley Asta.
That one did not live very long.
Coffee?
Honey, I can't have caffeine.
Pregnant.
I'll just, uh, have an herbal tea.
Lucky me.
Hey, I just signed
up for band at school.
Really?
I didn't know you wanted
to play an instrument.
That's great, bud.
Yeah, I'm playing the drums.
The music store is delivering
the drum set here tomorrow.
You have to call them to pay for it.
Oh, honey, I don't think so.
Yeah, buddy, we're not
buying you a drum set.
We can't have noise
like that in the house.
- Why not?
- Well, because you are
about to get a little
I'm about to get a little what?
You're about to get a little visit
from Cousin Frank.
And Frank doesn't like loud noises.
I thought Cousin Frank died
in that boating accident on Nantucket.
He did.
But they found him on the beach,
living on fish and coconuts.
You know, they're calling it a miracle.
There are coconuts in Nantucket?
That was part of the miracle.
I can't believe Cousin Frank's alive!
I'm gonna go write him a letter.
- Honey?
- Yup.
You know you're not
supposed to tell anyone
about a pregnancy this early.
I did not know that.
- I think you did.
- Well, it sounds familiar.
I thought it was, uh, Cousin Andrew
who died on the boat.
Cousin Andrew had dinner
with us two months ago.
Well, you have too many cousins.
I do not know why Asta
is not talking to me.
Maybe she is jealous
because I can control my emotions now.
Ugh, dickhead spiders.
Aah!
Sometimes humans are
quiet when they are upset.
But Asta cannot be upset.
I have not even told her
about the evil alien race
that is hiding here on Earth.
I need to find this baby
so I can get the rest
of Goliath's message.
The three pads my
people have on each foot
will make this alien easy to track
Unless
Unless the baby has taken human form
and for some reason put
on a pair of small shoes.
This is a human hybrid.
It must have an innate knowledge
of how to fit in here on Earth
Which means this hybrid baby
must be very intelligent.
This is a flower.
Baby pooping.
No! Please don't go in your pants again.
I can't stand the smell in here.
And I've sprayed, like,
all my perfume bottles.
They're they're done.
They're done, okay?
So can you go outside behind a tree?
Done pooping.
She was just sitting
there waiting for me.
My God, poor Jay.
Yeah, it was awful.
She came up to me on the street.
She was so upset, and
she has every right to be.
I missed her birthday.
I keep messing things up
with Jay over and over again.
I am a horrible person.
Okay, no. You are not a horrible person.
You are incredible.
You are loving and kind and thoughtful.
And you were just distracted
because you had to kill a guy
and bury his body.
Which was really awful.
Whoa, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Really?
I'm not great.
Elliot and I had sex.
Wha
Oh. Oh, God. Was it bad?
No.
No, it was it was really good.
It was
It's always the quiet ones.
Oh.
I guess it's just like, here I go again,
dragging another guy into my mess.
Except this time,
the mess isn't me sleeping at The 59.
It's hiding dead bodies.
Okay, you're not dragging
him into anything.
He chased you.
I know, but I'm like one
of those condemned buildings
that doesn't have a sign outside
that says, "Unsafe,"
just filled with asbestos.
And, you know, it's not
gonna kill you right away,
but it'll take years off your life.
That's this guy.
I'm sorry.
I really thought you were okay.
It was easier when it was
just my stuff, you know?
And now it's
Elliot's becoming a thing, I don't know.
- Yeah.
- I gotta go to the gym.
I'm sorry, D'Arce.
Hey, he was a bad guy, right?
He deserved it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey, if you see Harry, tell
him he owes me for a pie.
He forgot to pay last night.
You know, contrary to
popular belief, Dad,
Harry and I are not Bert and Ernie.
You should collect from him yourself.
Sorry I asked.
No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I just need space from him.
Being friends with Harry is like
It's like raising a child
who lies and tells secrets
and has weird alien powers.
Okay.
Why don't you tell me what's going on?
You look like you got
the weight of the world
on your shoulders
No, thanks.
Um, I can deal with it.
Next time Harry comes in,
you want me to send him
home without any supper?
No, he's, like, responsible
for half your sales.
You can take his money.
I just don't want him
taking any more of my time.
How you doing, Asta?
I'm Detective Torres, Jessup PD.
Some of my people found
Sam Hodge's medical files
in the back of our victim's car.
- Oh.
- We were trying to figure out
if there was a connection.
Did you ever see Sam with the victim?
Have you ever seen the
two of them together?
That seems very similar
to the question I asked.
Do you remember his face from anywhere?
I I never saw him before the autopsy.
Sure about that?
'Cause I'm pretty good at reading faces,
and I think I saw a flash
of recognition there.
I took a facial recognition course.
I got a perfect score even though
I had to take the test
when I had pink eye.
All right, look, here's the deal.
All these records are of Sam's patients.
Do you see anything
there that connects them?
These people are all from town,
but I I don't know them well.
They barely came to the clinic.
They're all Sam's house calls.
All right, well, if you
do remember anything,
you know how to get ahold of us.
You got it.
Well, "us" includes me,
if that wasn't clear.
I do not know which human
the alien baby turned into.
I have been looking at feet all day,
looking for a shoe match,
and have learned nothing,
except that if you search the internet
for someone with small feet,
you get so many naked people emails
that your computer stops working.
But there is another tool
I can use to find an alien.
And his chicken ass just
walked through the door.
I have a secret.
There is another alien in Patience.
What? That's crazy.
Yes, yes.
I need you to look for it.
It is disguised as a
human with small feet,
but you will be able
to see its alien face.
I'll do it if you
give me your milkshake.
What kind of
No aliens. I'm keeping the milkshake.
No, I need you to help
me search the town.
Looking for an alien seems
like a lot of work for my eyes.
But I'll do it
If you buy me a drum set.
No, that is too expensive.
On "Law & Order," a generous
older gentleman
went to jail just for buying
a young boy a camera
and a chicken sandwich.
What if you pay me to do chores?
I like this compromise.
He gets money and I get an alien
and someone to clean
bird shit off my deck.
Okay.
We have a deal?
Deal.
Ugh!
Ugh.
Can't get a decent
bagel in this damn town.
That's the one thing I
miss about D.C., the food.
Hell, last week, I was halfway
through a Rocky Mountain oyster
before realizing I
was eating a bull nut.
I didn't even know to be
on the lookout for that.
Nobody ever told me,
"Someday somebody gonna
put something on your plate
"and you gonna think it's food,
and it's actually gonna be a bull nut."
Did you want me to get
you, uh, the corn dog
from the kids' menu at the diner?
No, I only order that
'cause it comes with
a free coloring book.
I've already done all the pictures.
Guess what.
This wallet was found this morning
on a street a few miles
outside of Patience.
Belongs to Vincent Grillo.
Isn't that one of our hit men?
Damn right, it is.
Nobody drops a wallet from a car either,
so that means they're probably on foot.
They could still be in town.
Oh, Jesus Christ, this thing smells
like it was puked out of an ass factory.
Where exactly did you find that?
Old Mill Road near Ridgeview.
Yeah.
We used to go hiking
there in high school.
Sir, that trail system would be
a perfect place for someone to hide.
Wait a second, if it's
a great place to hide,
maybe that's where our hit men are.
That's a brilliant idea, Detective.
Yeah, this is pure genius.
The human race would
be much more productive
if they made children work.
Even a baby can be hired
to lie on your papers
so they do not blow off your desk.
Yes.
I do not feel a thing.
It's on the highest setting.
Yeah, that that's good.
I like I like that.
Do these guys ever move?
Not since we found them
in that New Mexico
warehouse last spring.
Still don't know how
Ethan did that to them.
Yeah.
I've been wondering about that too.
Here, look at this.
He's writing in his alien language.
No, that's a crossword puzzle.
He's made a bunch of them.
It's a coping tool that
people in captivity use.
Maybe aliens like crossword puzzles.
Yeah, maybe.
But this isn't the only thing.
Look, I've been tracking events and
I've been tracking internet chatter
of some events in Patience, Colorado,
since we took the doctor.
Unexplained power surge,
blip detected at the Ute Reservation
a half hour away,
woman posted a UAP video,
octopus stolen from
a Japanese restaurant
which probably isn't
related but sure is weird.
Your point?
I don't think this guy's an alien.
I think the real alien
might still be in Patience.
Max.
Max!
Isn't it cool?
Where did you get this?
The music store.
They delivered it while
you were on the treadmill.
Didn't you hear them come in?
No, I did not.
You should turn your music down lower.
Loud sounds are bad for your ears.
Max. Max!
We told you that you
could not have a drum set.
No, you said you wouldn't pay for it,
so I paid for it myself
with the money I made from my job.
What job?
Mm.
Excuse me, did you give my son money?
Yes. What is the problem?
Were the bills not ironed well enough?
I will speak to him.
Uh, the problem is,
there is now a drum
set in my living room.
That is only a problem
if you do not like
the pounding of drums.
- I don't.
- Then that's a problem.
- Mm-hmm.
- I gave him money for chores.
What?
Why am I just now hearing about this?
Asta, did you know about this?
- Hmm?
- Max doing chores for Harry?
- Yes, she knew.
- No, I didn't.
No, she didn't.
I'm sure there's a perfectly
logical explanation,
isn't there, Harry?
The truth is, he told me that you knew.
He even said that it was your idea.
- What? He said that?
- Yes.
He called me.
He told me you wanted
him to come work for me
to pay for the drum set because
you're poor.
Well, that is not true.
Do not be ashamed of being poor.
You can sell the drums and buy food.
We are not poor, okay?
I mean, there's nothing
wrong with being poor.
It's fine to be poor.
It's well, it's not fine.
There's a whole, you
know, terrible class system
that puts listen.
Max lied to you is the point, okay?
I cannot believe he said that.
He even said that the
purple workout shirt
you have with the zipper on it
Said it was ugly.
Okay.
Well, next time, could you
please check in with us first?
I mean, we can't even get
him to clean our own house.
Probably because you
don't pay him enough
because you're poor.
You get that straightened out?
Yeah, I'm just apparently
dealing with a child
who has honesty issues.
Ah, I get that.
Hey, you know, I'm glad I ran into you.
You remember that whole
"I'm pregnant" thing
- from the party?
- Yeah.
Yeah. I just need to be sure
that it wasn't a false positive.
Can you give me a blood test?
Yeah, come on.
Good, nice calm upper body. I like that.
Another great run.
You still got it, Coach.
What the hell?
It's the ghost of D'Arcy Bloom.
Nice to see you.
I keep missing you at Thanksgiving.
Susan keeps making that
cranberry pie you love
in case you show up.
I don't like for people to
make a big fuss about me.
- D'Arcy Bloom!
- In the flesh.
I have a poster of you in my bedroom.
She's obsessed with you.
She's seen all your videos,
like, a million times on YouTube.
Dude, shut up.
No, no, no. Do not
shut up. Keep it coming.
Okay, time to head back up there.
Can we get a photo with you?
Hell yeah, let's do it.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Say "cheese!"
- Nice.
- Thank you!
- You're welcome.
- Thanks so much.
- Thank you.
- Now, get out of here.
Bye.
"Say 'cheese'"? Such a dad move.
Such a kid move only texting me,
what, three times a year?
To be fair, that's more than
I text my actual parents.
Yeah. I know you're busy.
I mean, not really.
Maybe that's the problem.
Who said there was a problem?
You, when you showed up here
instead of just texting me.
I don't know.
Got a lot going on, I guess, and
I don't really know where to start,
so I just came up here to clear my head.
You remember when we first met?
I gave you a whole bunch
of stuff to work on.
It was a disaster.
You got your head all turned around.
But then we pared it
down to just one thing:
keep your tips on the snow
run after run, that's right.
And you did! And then you'd work
on the next thing
until you got that too.
Eventually you had
the fastest zipper line
in the country.
And then I fell.
Everyone falls.
Question is, then what?
You know, the Hardpack
Tournament's coming up.
No, it's been way too long.
Never too late for a comeback.
Maybe you just need to find
that one thing to focus on
and then the rest will follow.
Okay, nice.
Nice calm upper body,
but I need you to keep
those knees good and tight, all right?
I got in trouble for being
your butler, you know.
I shouldn't even be helping you anymore.
Have Ms. Twelvetrees help you.
Asta isn't talking to me right now.
Oh!
What about that funny girl?
She's walking on those stick legs.
Nope.
- But you didn't even look.
- Don't need to.
If it's a girl, it's not him.
How do you know it is a him?
I didn't say "him."
I said "shepherd's pie."
That is a terrible lie.
They do not even sound alike.
And shepherd's pie,
that is it's not a pie.
It should be called
shepherd's meat vomit.
Fine, I lied.
But I promised Sahar I wouldn't tell.
She's my friend.
Well, what about me? I am your friend.
You don't treat me like I'm your friend.
Well, you are not my friend.
I am your friend.
See? There's a difference.
Sahar's my best friend.
Well, if Sahar is your friend,
then you should want to protect her.
That baby eats meat.
And even though your best friend
is mostly gristle, she
will still be tasty.
You need to tell me
where she is right now.
Jesus.
You people are crazy.
Don't do anything stupid.
I just want to give you this.
It's alien technology.
I need you to tell me
how your people use this.
Stay back.
This is an alien laser.
Don't move, or I will blast you.
Shit.
You really are just a stupid human.
That's a pool ball.
This
is alien technology.
Don't let go of it.
Oh, what the hell?
I guess it works for everyone.
How did I live?
You may be worthless,
but this is not.
Hey, Liv. How you doing?
So I've been looking at
these medical records.
I was thinking of talking
to the families of the deceased.
You know, maybe they can
shed some light on it.
Yeah, um, that makes sense.
The problem is,
if I pull them into the station,
they may clam up.
Like, you're a nurse.
They may feel more comfortable with you.
Maybe we could talk to them together.
Like, here, where they feel more safe.
Oh. I don't know.
Do you remember my Aunt Cathy
who passed away about ten years ago?
Yeah, of course.
You guys were really close, right?
Yeah.
If something nefarious led to her death,
I'd want to know.
These people's families deserve to know.
Maybe this guy had something
to do with Sam's death.
Maybe we can find out what and why.
Give me those.
Think Cletus got an advantage.
His stubby legs keeps his
nose close to the ground.
May not even need the dogs.
Way that wallet smelled,
I'd probably be able to
sniff them out myself.
Yeah, we'll find it.
Name of the game is determination.
You search hard enough for long enough,
you always find it.
Seems like you were born for this work.
Makes me wonder how a city cop ended up
in the Colorado woods.
What, you sniffing down a
new trail now, Detective?
Better be careful.
You're not the only
one who's determined.
Yeah, I'm a long way from home.
Being in these woods
of Patience is a far cry
from chasing diamond
thieves off of bridges.
Whoa, whoa.
No way, that was you?
I read about that,
cop jumps in the water,
recovers millions in diamonds.
You're the D.C. Merman?
Well, it was Mer-Mike
through the department, yeah.
But I snatched the diamonds
right off him mid-swim.
Oh! He's got a scent.
You got something,
boy? You got something?
Where you going?
Oh, yeah, there he go. Go on, boy.
Can you tell us why Sam
was treating your mother?
Diabetes, asthma, herniated disk,
and she had this weird nerve thing.
It made her hand look like this
I remember your dad.
He had that panel van with
the painting on the side.
Neptune, god of the sea.
He used to take us fishing every weekend
on Hawthorne Creek.
Uncle Rick was in a ton of pain.
It was colon cancer,
so they had to take
out all his plumbing.
By the end, he was just skin and bones.
Not that it looks bad on you.
You're skin and bones and you're cute.
And cancer, course. Pancreatic.
Uncle Rick used to
take us to the creek
and we'd catch frogs.
And we'd race 'em, but
we'd never eat them.
Only sometimes.
And she had this rash, wouldn't go away.
Made her hand look like a pizza.
So this but a pizza.
He just he never got
to meet Kevin, you know,
before he died.
And he really loved animals.
Not that you're an animal.
No, no. You're a baby.
You're a human skin baby.
Screw cancer, you know?
But you're not gonna
get cancer, are you?
No, because we put lotion on your body.
Gotta protect your
little baby pinky skin.
Oh, that feels so good.
Oh, that feels so good for your belly.
Do you recognize this man?
- No.
- Nope.
Kevin! This is for your health.
Kevin.
Did you notice they each mentioned
spending time at Hawthorne Creek?
Yeah.
And everyone had a rash
on either their hand or feet.
Look, cancer, kidneys,
nerve issue, rash.
Heavy metal poisoning could do that.
Poison in the water at Hawthorne Creek.
Yeah.
And someone was covering it up.
How did he get in here?
There you are,
you sneaky little ninja boy.
Come on, we gotta get your coat on.
Come here, get it on.
I mean, how do you say no
to this little baby angel face?
Ugh, you are so heavy.
See you guys.
Bye.
Where is this stupid hideout of yours?
We have been on this
path for 20 minutes.
The RV is deep in the forest.
RV, that stands for recreational vehicle
that you drive.
Why did you not tell me? I own a truck.
It's a fun walk.
See? The police like it too.
What are they doing here?
Looks like they're heading to the RV.
I thought RV stood for "real big van."
Your skull is very hollow.
Good. Helps me run faster.
We need to keep them from
finding the alien baby.
I will distract the
wolves with a special call
that confuses the brains
of intelligent animals.
Also stupid humans. You
should cover your ears.
- Where's he going?
- What are they doing?
Maybe the wind shifted.
All right, come on, Cletus.
Whoa.
Cool.
I didn't know you could control animals.
Yes, it is more than cool.
It is just another example
that my people are far
more advanced than
What was that?
A bird that was, uh,
confused by my call.
Bird attack!
Wait! Bird attack!
Son of a bitch!
Ugh, take the little one!
Now, this is a female pinecone.
Yes, there's a difference.
That baby belongs to me.
The only surprise is,
I'm somehow disappointed in you.
- I should have expected less.
- I'm sorry
I thought it was, like, gonna
eat your face off or something.
Why is he dressed like a sad bear?
His diaper doesn't fit in pants.
Come to me.
Baby, remember what I told you.
Don't go anywhere with strange men.
Baby.
No!
Baby, come back, please.
Remember what I taught you.
Stay with me.
See? He feels safe with me.
He is safer with me.
Do not talk to me like that.
I will send you to the ice wind desert
for two weeks with no food.
The cold will creep upon your body
to steal your life.
Resources are scarce.
The only thing to drink will be
the blood of your siblings
that you have killed
to maintain dominance.
Doesn't sound safe.
Run, baby!
And remember, look both ways
when crossing the street.
Oh!
Shit, shit, shit.
Shit.
What the hell?
Ugh, damn it.
Ugh.
You know what a best friend is?
It's someone you feel comfortable
telling anything to,
that you can share the
biggest secrets with.
I said I'm sorry, okay?
See what you did?
Now the baby's gone and
Sahar doesn't like me.
This is why you have no friends.
I do too.
Asta is my friend.
No, she's not.
She won't even talk to you.
And now Sahar won't talk to me.
Yes, I will.
You made a mistake,
but friends also forgive.
Plus, it's against my
religion to hold a grudge.
Come inside.
Harry can stay out here
with all his friends.
I am going to find the baby and teach it
to poop on your doorstep.
Are they right?
Is this why Asta won't talk to me?
Because I'm a bad friend?
You can go now, bad alien.
You are the one stealing babies.
Plenty of evidence to suggest
that there's hazardous
water at Hawthorne Creek
and some kind of cover-up happening.
Now we just have to figure out
how Corrington was involved.
Impressive
Using small-town connections
to dig up information,
just friends gossiping with friends.
Or, "Good police work, Deputy."
You're right. Good police work, Deputy.
Thanks.
Well, you did better than we did.
Old Cletus here, he struck out.
No offense there, boy.
Although he did do 8,821 steps today.
I got him a Fitbit for his birthday
and I put it in his collar.
Although the real number is double that
'cause, you know, he got four legs.
Although you gotta subtract, like, 200
'cause his little nub tail,
that helps keep him balanced, right?
And I don't want to
give him credit for that.
Dog fitness has come a long way.
Oh, yeah.
Anyways, good day today, Detective.
Guess we can talk about that
Hawthorne Creek situation tomorrow.
Actually, um, I'm free to talk now.
We could grab a bite if you want?
- I'm starving.
- I could go for some food.
But I'm buying.
It's the least I can do
after you shared your water
with Cletus on the trail today.
I hate seeing that little
man panting like that.
Couldn't help but notice
the big man was panting
- a little bit too.
- That's just how I hydrate.
See, I got the ability to pull moisture
directly out of the air into my mouth.
Oh, yeah? Is that one of
Mer-Mike's superpowers?
One of Mer-Mike's many
superpowers, not just one.
I got a whole bunch of them.
Cletus.
I've been like a super
I'm like the guy that
they come to sometimes
to find new superpowers.
Your dad was flirting.
Dad, can I talk to you for a second?
In a minute, sweetie,
I'm in the middle of a
Everybody out!
Seems like you were protecting Harry.
You saved his life.
I know.
This guy is just
responsible for Sam's death
and somehow involved in the deaths
of some other people in town.
He's obviously a bad guy,
but I feel horrible.
So horrible, I can't function, Dad.
I mean, how how am I
supposed to get through this?
You know, I don't talk
much about the war, but
we all left a piece of
ourselves over there.
I killed people.
I'm not proud of it, but I had to.
That's what I was trained for.
And they trained us to do it
over and over and over again
without feeling anything.
You took someone's life.
Doesn't matter if
doing it saved the lives
of 100 people.
It's supposed to feel bad.
It means you have
compassion and empathy.
You still have your soul.
I'm really glad I told you.
I was afraid to.
Well, it's a gift to
share something hard
with someone you love.
Means you care about them enough
to let them help you.
Hmm.
I can't go on like this forever.
You won't.
Now that you've told me
I'll carry that guilt, some of it.
It'll be a little less for each of us
if we share the weight.
Thanks, Dad.
Your provisions.
Still nothing on the mole.
Listen, I have to go
on a solo mission.
And you were right about Ethan.
He's not an alien.
I was afraid of that.
Wait.
You didn't kill him, did you?
Of course not.
We're not monsters.
Take your medicine.
You'll be all right.
Hey.
- Hey, hon.
- Hey.
I, uh I got your message.
Is, um, everything okay?
We need to talk about something.
I took a blood test today.
- Oh, the pregnancy.
- Mm-hmm.
Wow, yeah, um, can you tell the sex yet?
I mean, I'm fine with anything.
Maybe a girl?
Probably would smell better than Max.
Well, it's it's not that.
I'm not pregnant.
What?
Uh, are you sure?
I'm sure. I'm so sorry, honey.
I know how much you wanted
to have another baby.
I just want to be here for you.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I know it's a loss.
- It's sad.
- Mm-hmm.
Pitcher of margaritas.
I know you said you only wanted one,
but you also said
you're celebrating, so
Oh, uh, sad people
don't usually celebrate.
Well, I'm sad for you.
But you're also happy.
No. No, I think it
just seemed happy in
Oh, yeah In comparison.
You know, because you are so sad
about not having a baby.
Wouldn't count on it.
But of course, you know, I want a baby.
Uh, but, you know, not having to wake up
at 3:00 in the morning,
it's not too bad.
No, of course, you know,
I want a baby too.
It's just not the end of the world
not to have to give up
sushi for nine months.
Sushi, yeah.
I'm kind of happy.
Me too.
Oh, my God.
Right?
Thank God.
- A toast
- Yes.
- To not having kids.
- Well, we have one.
Eh, let's pretend.
The Hardpack Tournament?
My God, we used to watch that on TV.
Can you do it?
I don't know. It's a lot.
I have to get back in
shape. Like, really in shape.
- No more drinking.
- Mm.
Unless, of course, you want to toast me
for my bravery in returning to skiing.
- No, we don't have
- To my comeback.
Oh.
I've been looking for you everywhere.
I need to talk to you.
I do not need to talk to you.
Your mom needs to talk to me.
God.
I know you work with him and everything,
but what do you even talk about?
Nothing,
except the fate of the entire world.
Okay, Harry, what's going on?
I need to tell you something,
and you're not going to like it.
Let me guess, you
sideswiped my car again?
That would be funny. I wish.
The reason my people are not coming here
is because another alien
race is already here on Earth.
I do not know who they are
or what they are doing here.
It's dangerous.
How do you know this?
It was part of Goliath's
alien baby message
the night of the party.
Why didn't you tell me then?
Because I'm a bad friend.
Oh.
Oh, Harry.
But I want to be a good friend.
I feel better now. Ah.
- We're in danger.
- Okay.
Well, that is not good
news, but I'm used to it.
So thank you for sharing that with me.
I know that was hard for you.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
Friends tell each other the truth.
They trust each other.
Yes, they do.
We'll deal with it together.
Okay?
Humans have discovered
there is strength in numbers.
But maybe the strongest
thing in their life
is the person they are closest to.
Everybody needs a friend,
especially when they are in danger.
Hey.
Is this a place where a gal can get
a shot of Jeremiah Weed?
Well, if you want hair on your chest.