Robot Chicken s02e11 Episode Script

It's alive! Robot Chicken Smiley Meals?! All right, mom! You're sitting in that chair until you finish all your fries.
That's right, corporate America.
Robot Chicken is ready to sell out.
This Humping Robot Back Massager really hits the spot.
Available for parties.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! First words! Available for motivational speeches.
Successful office synergy means breaking down the paradigm between the can-do chickadees and the can't crows.
I've been motivated by his speech! Available for escort and personal massage.
Madame, are you ready to level up? Oui! Available for merchandising.
With my official Eagle Eye Smith BB gun, I'm a champion.
- My eye! - Awesome! Now, that's a douche I can trust.
Robot Chicken.
We're ready to sell out.
This peace treaty will finally end the violence between the Israeli and the Palestinian people.
Mr.
Prime Minister, let us sign.
¤ Want a Fanta? Don't you want a Fanta? ¤ What the hell is going on here? I don't know, but those girls are making me thirsty.
¤ Fanta is nectar of the Gods ¤ ¤ So let's not declare Jihad ¤ ¤ Fanta helps you keep composure ¤ ¤ There's no pork, you Jews, it's kosher ¤ ¤ Fanta tastes so mediocre ¤ ¤ Let's play Gaza strip poker ¤ Those Fantanas were really something else! - Where's the treaty? - Where's my wallet? And where are my pants? So, are you gonna rape me tonight? I have a headache.
Leave me alone.
Fine.
- Be good.
- Good-bye, E.
T.
- E.
T.
Home.
- Oh, my God! Look, everyone, that retard we ditched on earth somehow found his way home.
E.
T.
Phoned home.
What the hell are you calling yourself E.
T.
For, spaz? Your name is Kleborp, Kleborp the retard.
Kleborp the retard with only one glowing finger.
Oh, now you're fucking dead.
And this time, stay lost! Loser! Friend.
Our house is gonna have the best pumpkins on the block.
Schneiderman, you suck at carving pumpkins.
Who's the freak? Quiet.
Trick-or-treaters.
Trick or treat? Smell my feet.
Now, now.
Be nice.
Milf! Milf, Milf! - Quiet.
- Milf! Did you get a load of that Milf, retard? Yeah.
- You idiot! - Oh, no! - Boys.
- Trick or treat? Smell my ass! Shut up, dude.
Let's just smash them.
Holy f ing ass crackers! For God's sakes, retard, call for help! That is so foul.
Yeah! Hope they enjoy their crap-o'- lantern.
Smash the other one.
Looks like somebody already smashed it.
Pumpkin crap is the best.
Shut up.
Jim, I'm gonna need by the 4:00 meeting.
- Yes, sir.
And try to keep your balls off the glass this time.
- Yes, sir.
- Now! Yes, sir.
The best spaceship ever would fly out in space.
It would have fins like a shark and a clown for a face.
Its wings have propellers its sails catch the breeze.
It runs on marshmallows, and its wheels are skis.
The pilot is brave, he drinks like my dad.
He rarely takes showers, and yells when he's mad.
Billy, what the hell is wrong with this damn thing? The steering wheel is a frickin' pretzel, damn it! Holy shit! Then it plunges straight into the sun and that bastard is never heard from again.
What? Billy.
Billy, I'm breaking up.
Oh, my God, it's a sauna in here.
What smells like burnt marshmallows? Dear God, I'm sorry for everything I've ever And that's the best spaceship ever.
Now, children, in a few minutes we're gonna find out who ate the poison cookie.
- Won't that be fun? - Yeah! - Horsie! - Thank goodness you found me! Little girl, please set me free.
Don't move.
I'll be back.
I thought you were getting help.
Those will not cut through the tra What the hell are you doing?! Here.
Eat these magic healing oats.
OK.
Smell kind of funny.
Did you drug me? There.
Don't you look pretty! I'm in a catastrophic amount of pain.
Sunny Muffins, you're my bestest friend.
My name is Pegasus.
Sunny Muffins.
- Pegasus.
- Your name is Sunny Muffins.
It's Pegasus.
- Oh, God! God, why? - Sunny Muffins.
Say it! - You bitch! - Come on.
Say it.
Say your name.
What's your name? - Sunny Muffins.
- What's your name? My name is Sunny Muffins.
I love you.
- Sunny Muffins.
- Who are you? Honey Flake, apparently.
Would you like fries with that? Would you like fries with that? Would you like flies with that? Damn it! Damn it! Good morning, Uncle Gadget.
Muffins! Go, go, Gadget Butter Knife.
Oh, boy.
- Time to replace that arm.
- "Cyberdyne"? Uncle Gadget, why aren't you using your normal parts? Not to worry, Penny.
I'm always on duty.
That's totally not what I asked.
Skynet 8 on line.
Uncle Gadget, are you all right? - Uncle Gadget? - Must terminate.
Go, go, Gadget Circular Saw.
With Skynet on line Gadget is under my complete control and I'll use him to wipe out my true nemesis that meddlesome Hello.
Yes.
This is Dr.
Claw.
Well, did the tests explain all the diarrhea? Well, no.
The meds don't seem to Oh, dear! Feline leukemia? How long does he have? I'm too young to have a license, Brain.
You drive.
You're a dog.
I'll plot us a map to safety.
Who bookmarked Doggone Dog Porn in my browser?! As if I have to ask? - Oh, crap! - Better take evasive action, Brain.
Brain, that's still Uncle Gadget.
We need to remember that deep down inside Ram that son of a bitch! Uncle Gadget, say something.
- I have a mission for Gadget.
- Perfect! Wait, that message will self-destruct! No duh! Always on duty.
- Always on duty.
- Please, Uncle Gadget, no.
Go, go, go, go, Gadget Mallet.
Go, go, Gadget Skis.
Go, go, Gadget Back Hair Trimmer.
Go, go, Gadget Pizza Cutter.
Go, Gadget Nail Clipper.
- Sorry, uncle.
- Go, go, Roller Skates.
Disco Ball.
Roller Skates.
Disco Ball.
Go, go, Gadget Lipstick.
Well, at least that's over.
- What did he just say? - He says there's a storm coming in.
I know.
Give me $4.
00 for this photo, or my father will beat me.
Go, go, Gadget Foot.
I would just like to say a few words, if I may.
Next time, Gadget.
Next time!