The Looney Tunes Show s02e11 Episode Script
We're in Big Truffle
We could probably find free parking on the street.
- Porky.
You've got to learn to treat yourself right.
Enjoy the finer things in life.
All right Pay-yule.
It's "Paul".
Paul.
I am guessing you've never driven a vehicle Quite like this one.
- No, sir, I haven't.
Are those the Keys? - First of all, I could do without the attitude.
Second of all, these are obviously pliers.
Because the ignition key is obviously broken off In the ignition itself, Obviously due to a fit I had Regarding a personal matter.
And don't get any ideas! I locked the glove compartment.
Hey, sometimes you've got to treat people wrong To treat yourself right.
Tcch.
The Looney Tunes Show, Season 2, Episode 11 "We're In Big Truffle" I'll have the truffle risotto.
- Everything's kind of expensive.
Porky, we'll split the bill.
Aww.
He'll have what I'm having.
Porky, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
You have to learn to pamper yourself.
Valet parking, nice meals, French manicures.
These are the things that give you a sense of worth.
- What about hard work? Friendship? Ha ha ha ha ha! Good one.
what's that? Truffle.
It's a delicacy.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Ohh.
It's like eating gold! Mmm.
Truffle, where have you been all my life? Oh, it is delicious.
To treating yourself right.
- What's up, neighbor? - Hey, Bugs.
I was wondering if Gossamer could stay with you this weekend? Sure.
Where you going? The fifth dimension.
- Oh.
Uh, is that where you're from? - What?! Honey, I'm from Chicago.
The fifth dimension is where they're holding the witches convention.
They teach you all the new spells and broom tricks.
- Sounds great.
We'll take good care of him.
- "we"? Oh.
I forgot about Daffy.
Any chance you can baby-sit at my house? - Ooh.
I've never stayed at a haunted house before.
- It's not haunted! Mmm-mmm-mmm.
You make a lot of assumptions.
Mmm.
$500?! For risotto?! - For the truffle.
It should have been for free! The menu said "MP".
Yes.
"MP".
Market price.
Which, in this case, Is $250 a plate.
Market price? MP stands for my pleasure! Like, here, take it.
It's my pleasure.
What are we going to do? Pay the bill.
Here.
This is $5.
00.
You said we'd split it.
Right.
We're splitting it.
Me, $5.
00, you rest of dollars.
Splitting means 50/50! - Oh! And "MP" means market price? What planet are we on? I'll get the valet.
Hmmph! Bye-bye, baby.
- now you do what Mr.
Bunny tells you.
I'll be home Sunday night.
You take good care of my son.
We'll be great.
Don't worry.
You're gonna? - You can't see past the witchiness, can you? I'm taking my minivan.
Unbelievable.
What does he think I'm going to do with all this luggage? Ughh.
Hey, speedy? You got any truffles back there? - Truffles? Who are you, little Lord Fauntleroy? Do you know how much truffles cost? The big ones go for like $350,000.
$350,000? Where would someone get a truffle? - They grow on the ground, near oak trees.
But they're nearly impossible to find.
Needs pigs to sniff them out.
Pigs, huh? Where are we going? - It's a surprise.
All right, start sniffing.
Where are we? - Randall mcclintock national park.
What are we doing here? - Truffle hunting.
You're going to sniff 'em out, I'm going to dig 'em up, and we're going to be rich.
Sniff 'em out?! Daffy, I am not that kind of a pig.
I was born in the suburbs! I wear a blazer.
Will you please just try? It's getting late! Ehh.
- Ugh, your pig ancestors are rolling over in their graves.
Come on, Porky! Sniff like you mean it! There you go.
Find that truffle, piggy.
Ok, Gossamer.
Time for bed.
who could that be? Hey, bun bun.
Lola! I told you, I can't do anything this weekend.
I'm baby-sitting.
- I know.
I thought I could help.
- Well, that's very nice, but I think I've got it covered.
- Mr.
Bunny, I think there's a monster under my bed.
- Are you kidding? The monster's on the stairs! where?! - Let me handle this.
I put myself Through medical school baby-sitting.
Hey, Gossamer, how about I read you a bedtime story? Yeah! Tchh.
Dig, pig, dig! Dig, pig, dig! Dig, pig, dig! That is not helping.
Why aren't you digging? My manicure.
That's it.
I'm done.
Let's go home.
Where's the car? Hmm.
Hmm.
Huh.
- You don't know where the car is? - Well, you don't know where the car is! - That's because you blindfolded me! - Well, I thought if you knew where we were going, You wouldn't have come! - I wouldn't have! You just proved my point! Ughh.
Forget it.
I'll find my own way home.
Huh.
What is it? I don't know.
It's a Giant truffle! Porky! You did it! We're rich, we're rich.
We're rich! Um, Daffy? We're still lost, you know.
Lost and Rich! Oww! Bugs! What?! Is everything ok? - Everything's fine.
Nothing to worry about.
Totally no big deal.
But Gossamer kind of, um, he turned into a frog.
- What do you mean, Gossamer turned into a frog?! What's this? - Well, I thought it was a book of bedtime stories, But now I'm pretty sure it's a book of spells.
Wait! Before you go in there, you should know one more thing.
I think I might have also turned Gossamer's alarm clock Into a great, big, ferocious grizzly bear.
Gossamer! You poor thing.
- Well Looks like you got this covered.
So, you know, I should probably Head on home.
- I mean, uh, to get a terrarium.
To put Gossamer in until we can figure out Which one of these spells will turn him back Is what I was saying.
Oh, you thought I was going to leave you.
- I bet this baby weighs three pounds.
We're probably looking at a half a million dollars! What are you going to do with your ten percent? - Daffy? We've been through this.
If you say "split", it means half.
- Fine! So what are you going to do with your "half"? I don't know.
I've always been someone who saves their money for a rainy day.
- Come on.
This is your chance to treat yourself right.
I guess I could buy a shirt.
I mean, I never felt like I needed a shirt.
Considering I already had a jacket and tie, It seems so extravagant.
- That's why you don't wear a shirt?! Because you're cheap? - Well, why don't you wear clothes? Because I love my body.
Check out my pecs, Porky.
Check 'em.
Look at 'em.
- Shh! - What?! Shh, shh.
What?! I think I hear something.
- What do you think it is? - A bear? - Porky! There hasn't been a bear in these woods For a thousand years! Quick, fly us out of here! What?! I can't fly! But you're a duck! I'm not that kind of duck.
- I always knew I'd die this way! hi, yes.
I called 9-1-1 last night, But I think the dispatcher thought I was crazy.
Oh, ok.
Uh, well, I was baby-sitting this monster, see, And my girlfriend accidentally turned his alarm clock Into a grizzly bear, and he escaped and ran away.
hello? - I think I found the spell I did last night.
You think or you know? - I know.
I mean, I think I know.
Well, that's great.
But we need the spell that reverses the spell.
- It's this one.
It's definitely this one.
I think.
No, I mean, I know.
I mean, I think I know.
Just read it.
What? Uh, nothing.
Psst.
I think the bear's gone.
You ok? I'm fine.
Is the truffle ok? I mean, are you ok? We've been walking for hours.
Does any of this look familiar? - It all looks familiar.
Everything looks the same! I'm starving.
I'm going to eat into my half of the truffle.
- Are you crazy? That's like eating money.
This is our future.
No one's going to give us a half a million dollars For a truffle with a giant bite out of it! If you're hungry, eat some berries.
But what if they're poisonous? Then I'll know not to eat 'em.
We have to jump! But I can't swim! - You can't fly, you can't swim! Are you even a duck at all?! I'm not sure.
This comes off very easily.
- Porky! - I'm here! I lost the truffle! There it is.
I've got it! Ahh! I don't got it! I see it.
Whoa! I got it! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! I love you, Porky pig! - Lola, none of these spells are working.
What? - Nothing.
Maybe we should call the witch.
- Oh, no.
She entrusted me with Gossamer.
We got to fix this on our own.
Let's not panic.
Gossamer! We're saved! Aahh! Help! Whoa! Porky! Hold on.
I can't! Let go of the truffle! Are you sure? I'm not going to say it twice! I can't believe I said it once.
Ok! You saved my life.
It was MP.
My pleasure.
Turns out, treating others right Feels better than treating yourself right.
I just worry that this feeling Won't last as long as a half million dollars.
Here.
I got a truffle to catch.
Yeoowww! This is speedy.
Speedy, listen to me.
Gossamer went inside your mouse hole.
You've got to come home and get him out.
- Wait a second.
How could Gossamer get in there? He's giant! Lola turned him into a frog.
- Ok.
Something I don't appreciate is practical jokes.
The kind of people that like pulling pranks Has something seriously wrong with them.
I'm at work! Get help, man.
- No, no, no, no! He hung up.
Now what are we going to do? Hmm.
you don't believe me, do you? Oh, no, we believe you.
- So, um, Gossamer's in here, you say? What is it? What's wrong? Just, um, give us a moment.
We'll fix everything.
Oh, where do we begin?! Well, for starters, Why is all the furniture crammed against the walls? There's no flow, there's no balance.
One never places two large pieces of furniture side by side! - And, if you're going to have an area rug, It needs to be anchored by something.
It's just floating in the middle of the room! - Let's stop talking and start decorating! - We did it.
- Where's Gossamer? - Who is Gossamer? - The frog! - Oh.
There wasn't a frog in there.
But the back door was open.
Back door?! He could be anywhere! Oh, boy.
That's our neighbor.
Oh, boy.
How's the convention? Dull as usual.
I'm calling to check on Gossamer.
He giving you any trouble? no Not really.
- I may have accidentally turned Gossamer into a frog And have no idea of how to turn him back, But guess who just saved him from getting eaten By a tasmanian devil? Ahh! Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Where's the spell book? Wait a second.
The alarm clock was the frog? We should have been chasing the bear! What are you so mad about? You're back to normal.
What? Oh, uh, nothing.
My truffle! This ends now.
Mother! You're not understanding me.
It's not just a bear, it's a little boy! Well, actually, he's a big orange monster, But he's a boy that looks like a monster That's trapped in a bear's body.
I'll just hang up on myself.
Daffy's in trouble! - I don't have time to worry about Daffy right now.
Just listen! Daffy blindfolded me and took me into the woods Because he thought since I was a pig, I would be able to find him a truffle.
But then he got lost and a bear chased us And I almost went over a waterfall! But Daffy saved me-- - Porky.
- But then he jumped over the waterfall! - Oh, man, I wanted to do it.
Did you say a bear? Yes.
There hasn't been A bear in those woods for a thousand years! - That's because that bear is Gossamer! Gossamer? You killed him?! What, this? No, this is synthetic.
I bought it at the park gift shop on the way out.
Here.
I got you a keychain.
Daffy, where's the bear? - Oh, uh, he's on the front porch.
I bet he's an escaped circus bear or something.
He's completely harmless.
He's the one who led me out of the woods.
I'm thinking about keeping him.
Making him my personal assistant.
Gossamer! - Are you ok? - I'm fine! I mean, I was scared at first, But then I found Mr.
Pig and Mr.
Duck, And I knew I was safe.
- Well, it's getting late.
Why don't we get you home.
- If you want, I can read you a bedtime story.
Mmm, mmm.
- It is so good to be back in civilization.
Hey, speedy.
How about some more cinnamon breadsticks? How can you afford all this? - Oh, oh, oh.
We can afford it.
What are you talking about? - How much do you think this baby's worth? - I don't know, it's pretty big.
A dime, maybe? - A dime?! For a truffle this size? That's not a truffle! That's an old, dirty potato! You thought it was a truffle? They only got those in Italy and France, man.
There goes my self worth.
You still have me.
You feel like taking a trip To Italy or France? It would be MP.
- That means you're paying, you know.
I know.
What the? Am I on some kind of reality show? Hello?
- Porky.
You've got to learn to treat yourself right.
Enjoy the finer things in life.
All right Pay-yule.
It's "Paul".
Paul.
I am guessing you've never driven a vehicle Quite like this one.
- No, sir, I haven't.
Are those the Keys? - First of all, I could do without the attitude.
Second of all, these are obviously pliers.
Because the ignition key is obviously broken off In the ignition itself, Obviously due to a fit I had Regarding a personal matter.
And don't get any ideas! I locked the glove compartment.
Hey, sometimes you've got to treat people wrong To treat yourself right.
Tcch.
The Looney Tunes Show, Season 2, Episode 11 "We're In Big Truffle" I'll have the truffle risotto.
- Everything's kind of expensive.
Porky, we'll split the bill.
Aww.
He'll have what I'm having.
Porky, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
You have to learn to pamper yourself.
Valet parking, nice meals, French manicures.
These are the things that give you a sense of worth.
- What about hard work? Friendship? Ha ha ha ha ha! Good one.
what's that? Truffle.
It's a delicacy.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Ohh.
It's like eating gold! Mmm.
Truffle, where have you been all my life? Oh, it is delicious.
To treating yourself right.
- What's up, neighbor? - Hey, Bugs.
I was wondering if Gossamer could stay with you this weekend? Sure.
Where you going? The fifth dimension.
- Oh.
Uh, is that where you're from? - What?! Honey, I'm from Chicago.
The fifth dimension is where they're holding the witches convention.
They teach you all the new spells and broom tricks.
- Sounds great.
We'll take good care of him.
- "we"? Oh.
I forgot about Daffy.
Any chance you can baby-sit at my house? - Ooh.
I've never stayed at a haunted house before.
- It's not haunted! Mmm-mmm-mmm.
You make a lot of assumptions.
Mmm.
$500?! For risotto?! - For the truffle.
It should have been for free! The menu said "MP".
Yes.
"MP".
Market price.
Which, in this case, Is $250 a plate.
Market price? MP stands for my pleasure! Like, here, take it.
It's my pleasure.
What are we going to do? Pay the bill.
Here.
This is $5.
00.
You said we'd split it.
Right.
We're splitting it.
Me, $5.
00, you rest of dollars.
Splitting means 50/50! - Oh! And "MP" means market price? What planet are we on? I'll get the valet.
Hmmph! Bye-bye, baby.
- now you do what Mr.
Bunny tells you.
I'll be home Sunday night.
You take good care of my son.
We'll be great.
Don't worry.
You're gonna? - You can't see past the witchiness, can you? I'm taking my minivan.
Unbelievable.
What does he think I'm going to do with all this luggage? Ughh.
Hey, speedy? You got any truffles back there? - Truffles? Who are you, little Lord Fauntleroy? Do you know how much truffles cost? The big ones go for like $350,000.
$350,000? Where would someone get a truffle? - They grow on the ground, near oak trees.
But they're nearly impossible to find.
Needs pigs to sniff them out.
Pigs, huh? Where are we going? - It's a surprise.
All right, start sniffing.
Where are we? - Randall mcclintock national park.
What are we doing here? - Truffle hunting.
You're going to sniff 'em out, I'm going to dig 'em up, and we're going to be rich.
Sniff 'em out?! Daffy, I am not that kind of a pig.
I was born in the suburbs! I wear a blazer.
Will you please just try? It's getting late! Ehh.
- Ugh, your pig ancestors are rolling over in their graves.
Come on, Porky! Sniff like you mean it! There you go.
Find that truffle, piggy.
Ok, Gossamer.
Time for bed.
who could that be? Hey, bun bun.
Lola! I told you, I can't do anything this weekend.
I'm baby-sitting.
- I know.
I thought I could help.
- Well, that's very nice, but I think I've got it covered.
- Mr.
Bunny, I think there's a monster under my bed.
- Are you kidding? The monster's on the stairs! where?! - Let me handle this.
I put myself Through medical school baby-sitting.
Hey, Gossamer, how about I read you a bedtime story? Yeah! Tchh.
Dig, pig, dig! Dig, pig, dig! Dig, pig, dig! That is not helping.
Why aren't you digging? My manicure.
That's it.
I'm done.
Let's go home.
Where's the car? Hmm.
Hmm.
Huh.
- You don't know where the car is? - Well, you don't know where the car is! - That's because you blindfolded me! - Well, I thought if you knew where we were going, You wouldn't have come! - I wouldn't have! You just proved my point! Ughh.
Forget it.
I'll find my own way home.
Huh.
What is it? I don't know.
It's a Giant truffle! Porky! You did it! We're rich, we're rich.
We're rich! Um, Daffy? We're still lost, you know.
Lost and Rich! Oww! Bugs! What?! Is everything ok? - Everything's fine.
Nothing to worry about.
Totally no big deal.
But Gossamer kind of, um, he turned into a frog.
- What do you mean, Gossamer turned into a frog?! What's this? - Well, I thought it was a book of bedtime stories, But now I'm pretty sure it's a book of spells.
Wait! Before you go in there, you should know one more thing.
I think I might have also turned Gossamer's alarm clock Into a great, big, ferocious grizzly bear.
Gossamer! You poor thing.
- Well Looks like you got this covered.
So, you know, I should probably Head on home.
- I mean, uh, to get a terrarium.
To put Gossamer in until we can figure out Which one of these spells will turn him back Is what I was saying.
Oh, you thought I was going to leave you.
- I bet this baby weighs three pounds.
We're probably looking at a half a million dollars! What are you going to do with your ten percent? - Daffy? We've been through this.
If you say "split", it means half.
- Fine! So what are you going to do with your "half"? I don't know.
I've always been someone who saves their money for a rainy day.
- Come on.
This is your chance to treat yourself right.
I guess I could buy a shirt.
I mean, I never felt like I needed a shirt.
Considering I already had a jacket and tie, It seems so extravagant.
- That's why you don't wear a shirt?! Because you're cheap? - Well, why don't you wear clothes? Because I love my body.
Check out my pecs, Porky.
Check 'em.
Look at 'em.
- Shh! - What?! Shh, shh.
What?! I think I hear something.
- What do you think it is? - A bear? - Porky! There hasn't been a bear in these woods For a thousand years! Quick, fly us out of here! What?! I can't fly! But you're a duck! I'm not that kind of duck.
- I always knew I'd die this way! hi, yes.
I called 9-1-1 last night, But I think the dispatcher thought I was crazy.
Oh, ok.
Uh, well, I was baby-sitting this monster, see, And my girlfriend accidentally turned his alarm clock Into a grizzly bear, and he escaped and ran away.
hello? - I think I found the spell I did last night.
You think or you know? - I know.
I mean, I think I know.
Well, that's great.
But we need the spell that reverses the spell.
- It's this one.
It's definitely this one.
I think.
No, I mean, I know.
I mean, I think I know.
Just read it.
What? Uh, nothing.
Psst.
I think the bear's gone.
You ok? I'm fine.
Is the truffle ok? I mean, are you ok? We've been walking for hours.
Does any of this look familiar? - It all looks familiar.
Everything looks the same! I'm starving.
I'm going to eat into my half of the truffle.
- Are you crazy? That's like eating money.
This is our future.
No one's going to give us a half a million dollars For a truffle with a giant bite out of it! If you're hungry, eat some berries.
But what if they're poisonous? Then I'll know not to eat 'em.
We have to jump! But I can't swim! - You can't fly, you can't swim! Are you even a duck at all?! I'm not sure.
This comes off very easily.
- Porky! - I'm here! I lost the truffle! There it is.
I've got it! Ahh! I don't got it! I see it.
Whoa! I got it! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! I love you, Porky pig! - Lola, none of these spells are working.
What? - Nothing.
Maybe we should call the witch.
- Oh, no.
She entrusted me with Gossamer.
We got to fix this on our own.
Let's not panic.
Gossamer! We're saved! Aahh! Help! Whoa! Porky! Hold on.
I can't! Let go of the truffle! Are you sure? I'm not going to say it twice! I can't believe I said it once.
Ok! You saved my life.
It was MP.
My pleasure.
Turns out, treating others right Feels better than treating yourself right.
I just worry that this feeling Won't last as long as a half million dollars.
Here.
I got a truffle to catch.
Yeoowww! This is speedy.
Speedy, listen to me.
Gossamer went inside your mouse hole.
You've got to come home and get him out.
- Wait a second.
How could Gossamer get in there? He's giant! Lola turned him into a frog.
- Ok.
Something I don't appreciate is practical jokes.
The kind of people that like pulling pranks Has something seriously wrong with them.
I'm at work! Get help, man.
- No, no, no, no! He hung up.
Now what are we going to do? Hmm.
you don't believe me, do you? Oh, no, we believe you.
- So, um, Gossamer's in here, you say? What is it? What's wrong? Just, um, give us a moment.
We'll fix everything.
Oh, where do we begin?! Well, for starters, Why is all the furniture crammed against the walls? There's no flow, there's no balance.
One never places two large pieces of furniture side by side! - And, if you're going to have an area rug, It needs to be anchored by something.
It's just floating in the middle of the room! - Let's stop talking and start decorating! - We did it.
- Where's Gossamer? - Who is Gossamer? - The frog! - Oh.
There wasn't a frog in there.
But the back door was open.
Back door?! He could be anywhere! Oh, boy.
That's our neighbor.
Oh, boy.
How's the convention? Dull as usual.
I'm calling to check on Gossamer.
He giving you any trouble? no Not really.
- I may have accidentally turned Gossamer into a frog And have no idea of how to turn him back, But guess who just saved him from getting eaten By a tasmanian devil? Ahh! Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Where's the spell book? Wait a second.
The alarm clock was the frog? We should have been chasing the bear! What are you so mad about? You're back to normal.
What? Oh, uh, nothing.
My truffle! This ends now.
Mother! You're not understanding me.
It's not just a bear, it's a little boy! Well, actually, he's a big orange monster, But he's a boy that looks like a monster That's trapped in a bear's body.
I'll just hang up on myself.
Daffy's in trouble! - I don't have time to worry about Daffy right now.
Just listen! Daffy blindfolded me and took me into the woods Because he thought since I was a pig, I would be able to find him a truffle.
But then he got lost and a bear chased us And I almost went over a waterfall! But Daffy saved me-- - Porky.
- But then he jumped over the waterfall! - Oh, man, I wanted to do it.
Did you say a bear? Yes.
There hasn't been A bear in those woods for a thousand years! - That's because that bear is Gossamer! Gossamer? You killed him?! What, this? No, this is synthetic.
I bought it at the park gift shop on the way out.
Here.
I got you a keychain.
Daffy, where's the bear? - Oh, uh, he's on the front porch.
I bet he's an escaped circus bear or something.
He's completely harmless.
He's the one who led me out of the woods.
I'm thinking about keeping him.
Making him my personal assistant.
Gossamer! - Are you ok? - I'm fine! I mean, I was scared at first, But then I found Mr.
Pig and Mr.
Duck, And I knew I was safe.
- Well, it's getting late.
Why don't we get you home.
- If you want, I can read you a bedtime story.
Mmm, mmm.
- It is so good to be back in civilization.
Hey, speedy.
How about some more cinnamon breadsticks? How can you afford all this? - Oh, oh, oh.
We can afford it.
What are you talking about? - How much do you think this baby's worth? - I don't know, it's pretty big.
A dime, maybe? - A dime?! For a truffle this size? That's not a truffle! That's an old, dirty potato! You thought it was a truffle? They only got those in Italy and France, man.
There goes my self worth.
You still have me.
You feel like taking a trip To Italy or France? It would be MP.
- That means you're paying, you know.
I know.
What the? Am I on some kind of reality show? Hello?