True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e11 Episode Script

True Jackson, VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Big news, people, tonight's the night.
You're taking a shower? You're learning to read? I've got two tickets to cairo spooky: Revenge of the mummy's son- this time it's personal 5.
What time's it at? - 10:30 - 10:30? I don't think that's a good idea.
Why? Because it'll end past midnight.
You've never been up past midnight.
Still, I have a general sense of what midnight's like.
Oh yeah? Midnight is the witching hour.
It's when the sun and the moon come together right? Maybe you should bring somebody with you.
Yeah, you don't do so well when it gets dark.
I've seen you fall asleep when a cloud moved in front of the sun.
Hey, Jimmy, you wanna go to the movies tonight? No, thanks, I've already seen it.
I didn't even tell you what I was seeing.
What are you seeing? The new John Cena movie.
Oh, I really want to see that.
So you want to go? Nah.
I have two free passes.
Well, I guess I could take 'em off your hands.
No, you would have to come with me.
Oh, no thanks.
Do either of you want to go? Sure, I guess we could take them off your hands.
No, I'm going.
One of you have to come with me.
Oh, I'm probably busy.
You are busy, my pajama party's tonight, remember? My mom's been planning it for a month.
She made sleeping bag-shaped invitations and everything.
That's tonight? I never got my invitation.
Really? I mailed it to you here.
I wonder where it went? Thanks for the lovely invite, true.
What? And what is the significance of the cinnamon bun? It's supposed to be a rolled-up sleeping bag.
Ah, and what is that? You know, a big polyester bag you sleep in.
If I'm ever sleeping in a polyester bag, I hope there's a coroner standing over me trying to figure out how I died.
Like that awesome scene in spooky hospital 3: Autopsy turvy.
Anyway, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to attend.
I have a previous engagement.
Awesome, for you.
Bummer for us.
I've been invited to a fundraiser at the mayor's mansion.
You should definitely do that.
It's got the word "fun" in it.
And "raiser.
" try to put on a brave face and enjoy your party without me.
We'll try.
Whew, we were dangerously close to seeing old lady pajamas.
from my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool is just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown up job never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as a new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messing around and we're making new grounds for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's going down 'cause I'm the new vp this is gonna be so much fun.
I've never met true's mom before.
What's she like? She's great.
Just don't get her mad.
This one time we went to a petting zoo and she was all, "don't you eyeball me, goat.
" yeah, I remember that day.
She was like, "this goat's got an attitude.
Get the car, Larry.
" good evening girls, are we ready to have fun? Yes, ma'am.
Then get your scrawny butts in here.
This is cool.
I'm glad you changed your mind and decided to come to the movie.
Yeah, well it was either that or be home alone, choking on my shame.
Wrong delivery is a violation of the code, "primum non nocere mailere," which is latin for "do no harm to mail.
" I'm up.
Sorry, if I'm boring you.
It's not you.
I'm just not used to staying up this late and your story was incredibly boring, but what's that? Well, it's just little something to keep my energy up, raisins, it's nature's coffee.
Isn't coffee "nature's coffee"? I'm not allowed to drink coffee.
I once had something called a latte and swam to staten island.
Hey, quiet down there.
it's staring.
Ahhhhh! I did not see that coming.
Yeah, I kinda figured.
Sorry.
Shhh squadron 5 checking in.
All clear.
You should put a bandage on that.
I've made your favorite, crab legs.
They're not my favorite.
Aren't they dad's favorite? Well, when your dad heard that you were having a house full of girls over tonight, he decided to go fishing with your Uncle Reggie instead of helping me.
So we're eating his food? Oh, don't be silly.
I'm just making a few snacks for you girls.
Mm-hmm, prime rib's ready.
Dana, sweetie, can you go turn the broiler down to 200 and give it a little baste? Now, I'm going to throw Mr.
Jackson's good shoes out on the street.
Anybody wanna play board games? I've got llama-llama land.
What's llama-llama land? Only the best board game ever.
We've been playing it since we were kids.
Sounds fun.
I'll play.
It's too early for board games.
Don't you wanna talk first? You start, true.
Last night, I had a dream that I could fly.
I flew across the country all the way to mount rushmore, got tired and took a nap in Lincoln's nose.
Last night, I had a dream that I went to dinner with Mikey J.
Wait, what? I had a dream that I had dinner with Mikey J.
My boyfriend, Mikey J? Keep it together, Lulu.
I'm cool.
Shelly can eat with Mikey J.
I was there too, right? Oh yeah.
You were our waitress.
We're sure having some fun now.
This is gonna be the best pajama party ever.
There's an Amanda here to see you.
I hope I'm not too late.
Amanda? What are you doing here? Oh, it turns out I got that invitation to the mayor's house by mistake.
There must have been a mix-up in our mailroom.
Man, Jimmy's in a mail slump.
Anyway, I have a strict policy about being at a party seven nights a week, and well, here I am.
Well, make yourself at home, the more the merrier.
You said what now? True, you know the house rules, everyone's welcome.
I hope you like crab legs? I do not.
It was my nickname in the seventh grade.
This is for you.
It's a rare indonesian orchid.
You need to rub oil on its stem six times a day.
That's some gift, more like a part-time job.
True, be nice.
Well, looks like this case is unwrapped up.
I couldn't have done it without you, Dr.
Kavanaugh.
Call me Trish.
Talk to me.
What? The pharaoh's risen? You book me two tickets on the next flight to cairo.
It's time to kick some tut.
Pack your science stuff, we've got work to do.
That was awesome.
You really liked it, huh? Of course, but this is what I'm talking about.
I can't believe I did it.
I feel like anything is possible.
You want to go get a yogurt? Are you insane? I need to go to bed, okay.
I can't stay up another minute.
Ladies and gentleman, we have a surprise treat.
Action star and wwe superstar John Cena.
Woooo.
And I'll be out in the lobby, ready to answer the first 300 questions you kids may have.
Then I'll make sure to take pictures with each and everyone of you.
Holy smokes.
Where are my raisins? Anybody want anything from the kitchen? No thanks.
What's with her? What do you mean? Don't you wanna make fun of her? She just left the room.
Why would we do that? She's our friend.
Aah, when I was your age and we had sleepovers, we'd always make fun of whoever left the room.
When you were our age, weren't you afraid a dinosaur was gonna eat you in your sleep? Lulu, do you actually think I'm 64 million years old? I don't know? Phew.
Anybody wanna play a board game? Sure.
Or we could make prank phone calls instead.
Yeah.
Who should we call? Allow me.
It's ringing.
What should I say? Something creepy.
You do it.
I'm in your closet.
Now, this is a slumber party.
Do I smell baked Alaska? Probably, my dad's favorite.
Don't talk about me while I'm gone.
Why would I do that? What's with you kids? All right.
Let's break out llama-llama land and really get this party started.
What was that? What was what? All you guys looked at each other.
Probably, just a coincidence.
Okay, who wants to play first? There it was again.
What's going on, don't you guys like llama-llama land? We like it.
Then, what's the problem? It's just that you get a little competitive when you play.
No, I don't.
Sorry, Ryan, that gorge is a deadend.
Awe man, the bridge is out, there's no way across.
Another victory, yes.
Okay, take your last turn so we can get this over with.
I'm late for a tea party with Lulu.
Power of flight? All I have to do is fly across the gorge and I win.
One time, that happened one time.
Okay, so maybe I do get a little competitive.
When we were in the fifth grade, you almost blinded karey Burke.
That's why she wore an eye patch that year? It wasn't because she loved pirates.
Fine, I don't have to play if no one wants to play me.
I'll play you.
Choose your llama.
See, I don't have to be overly competitive.
I can just have fun.
Take one item from your opponent.
Your llama doesn't need a saddle, does it? No worries.
Take his saddle.
Yeah, you're doing great.
Ed velvet cupcakes.
True's mom really went all out.
Yeah, red velvet, delicious.
So just out of curiosity, what else did you and Mikey J do in your dream? Well, we had dinner and then yeah, you told me that part, what else? Nothing really, just walked on the beach, collected sea shells and then went to kisser's rock.
Kisser's rock? What's that? Tell me it's a place where you kiss rocks.
Okay girls, five minutes and we're gonna turn off the lights, it's getting late.
Dana, sweetie, there's some barbecue sauce that's spilled in the kitchen.
Mop it up, will you? But mom, I'm in the middle of very important game.
But, it's bedtime, sweetheart.
So we have to start winding down, winding down winding down hello? What do you mean, you're lost? How lost? And what does the map say? You're lost, not blind Larry.
Now look at the map, look at the map, Larry.
winding down, winding down winding down quick question.
In sniper alley, why didn't you tell the general he was in grave danger? Let me stop you right there, man.
I wasn't even in that movie.
Yeah you were.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, could you make it out to my good personal friend, Tom doozie? No.
Okay.
How are you kids doing? In your international box office hit, Shanghai spooky 7: Rise of the python, what was the code you punched in to open the weapon suitcase? That is the single greatest question I've ever heard in my life.
It's 3-29-7 I knew it.
I totally knew it.
Back me up.
He totally did.
Hey, I'm shooting a scene downtown in like half an hour.
You wanna come? Yeah, whatever, I'll come.
You better like stunts.
We're blowing up a truck full of mummies.
Don't cry, don't cry.
Hey, I'll be outfront in 20 minutes.
Look for the monster truck limo, okay.
You're next, sister.
What's with you? I just can't get over the fact that I delivered a piece of mail to the wrong person how could I do that? Okay, Jimmy, can we put a pin in the mail talk? You're ruining the best night ever.
Here, have a raisin.
Its empty.
Just lick the plastic.
It still has a raisin taste.
Night, night.
Where were we? I believe you were about to lose, no? Not even close.
Wow, you're just as competitive as true is.
That is an insult.
I'm much more competitive.
How dare you? Nobody beats me.
I'm the best, the best.
You're a scary lady.
Why, thank you.
How about we make this a little more interesting? What do you have in mind? Loser has to take the other to lunch for a week.
I hope you like carnival food.
Maybe you guys should just pause the game until tomorrow morning.
It's really late.
I bet everyone in the city is asleep right now.
Oh boy, I'm getting tired.
You want me to punch you in the ear? Will that help keep me awake? I don't think so.
Yeah, sure.
And action And cut wow.
That was awesome.
So, what do you guys think? That was the all time highlight of my life.
My favorite part was when the truck full of mummies blew up.
You guys are all right.
Hey, I'm going to a secret underground hockey club.
You guys wanna come? Maybe you should just call it a draw.
Can't do that, Lulu.
The game doesn't stop until somebody wins.
You mean, until I win.
Don't you guys think you're being a little childish.
Hey, you poked a hole in my llama llama's basket.
Oh, did I? Guess you have to return it to the stable.
I'll return you to the stable in a box.
How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? Guys.
Sorry.
Hey Shelly, I hope I didn't wake you.
You kicked me in the shin.
Anyway, we never got to finish our conversation about you and Mikey j at kisser's rock.
Lulu, you're overreacting.
It was just a dream.
Kisser's rock isn't even a real place.
You have to climb a rainbow to get there.
Well, if anyone's climbing rainbows with Mikey J, it should be me.
Lulu, I do not wanna date Mikey J.
I don't even like him.
You don't? That's awesome.
That makes me feel a lot better.
Why not? Why not what? Why don't you wanna date my boyfriend? He's really strong and funny.
You two would make a cute couple.
I'm confused.
I'm going back to sleep.
Lulu.
Yeah? I don't understand what's going on.
Normally, I'm awesome at llama-llama land, but for some reason I can't beat Amanda.
I have a confession to make.
Promise, you won't be mad? Okay.
Promise? Yeah.
You're not that awesome at llama-llama land.
What are you talking about? I haven't lost a game since I was 8.
That's 'cause we've all been letting you win.
You said what now? Why would you guys do that? You're kind of a bad sport when you lose.
So we figured if you never lost what are you girls still doing up? Mom, do you and dad let me win at llama-llama land? Ooh, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
We would never she knows.
We do it all the time.
Mom.
I'm sorry, sweetie, but you can be a bit of a hothead when you lose.
I have no idea where that temper comes from.
Hello what do you mean, you're at the border? What border? Describe the flag, Larry.
Describe the flag.
That was your daddy.
He's either in Mexico or Canada.
Either way, his gitsu, out on street.
How come you never told me I was too competitive? I guess we didn't want you to lose your drive.
My drive? Your drive to succeed.
It's one of the reason' you're a 16-year-old vice president.
It's part of who you are.
An ugly part.
It can be.
You just have to learn how to control it.
A person isn't measured by how many wins they have, it's how they handle their losses.
Now, that'll be good on a pillow.
Thanks, mom.
You're welcome, baby.
Back for more? Let's do this.
"advance to the Gate of the golden pan flute.
" I can't believe this.
One more space and true wins.
"switch places with your opponent and advance one space.
" I win, I win.
Congratulations, Amanda.
You played a great game.
Thank you.
You want to flip the game board over, don't you? A little.
Go ahead.
Best two out of three? This is insane.
John Cena didn't say it was an underground hockey club for celebrities.
Sorry, kids.
Frank woo you're my favorite actor.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
Stay in school.
Check it out, John Cena's about to destroy Ellen.
Oooh.
Okay, I've gotta admit, this has been a pretty amazing night, and it really took my mind off work.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
You guys see, that is pop tv's Ellen in the jaw? It's frozen respect.
She's still dancing.
I can tell you, this has been the greatest night ever.
Do you wanna hear the craziest part? I'm not even tired.
You know what? I'm supposed to be starting a new movie next week.
You guys wanna be in it? Are you serious? Dead serious.
That's the title.
Hope you guys like racing speed boats and kissing supermodels.
Oh, my hey.
I'm up.
Where were you last night? I waited outside the stupid movie theatre for an hour and you never showed up.
What are you talking about? We went to the movie together, met John Cena, watched him blow up a truck of mummies and then went to a celebrity hockey club where he asked if we wanted to be movie stars.
Oh.
Catch you later.
I can't believe the best night of my life was just a dream.
Hey, Ryan.
Hey, you liked the movie? I don't really feel like talking about it.
Slept through it, huh? Yep.
How was the slumber party? Great.
And we played llama-llama land.
Oh, you're the best.
You are unbeatable at that game.
She knows.
Really? Yes, and I'm fine.
From now on, no one has to let me win anymore.
If I'm gonna win, I'll do it on my own.
Ya, like that's gonna happen.
Watch it.
I'm kidding, you're the best.
True, have you seen Kopelman? He was supposed to put his report on Max's desk this morning.
No, I haven't seen him at all.
Well, that's odd.
I wonder where he is?