Turbo FAST (2013) s02e11 Episode Script
The Day Mell Fell - Burn's Ex-Boo
1 [engine revvs.]
# - Whoa! - Woo! # Those snails are fast - # Turbo - F-A-S-T # That's the team you'll never beat Turbo, he got super speed Whiplash, he jets to the lead Skidmark, propeller flow Chet's safe, he'll take it slow Smoove Move with them speakers, baby Burn burnin' that fire crazy White Shadow, big with no fear Now you know the team is here There they go, gone in a flash - # Those snails are fast - Turbo # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # Those snails are fast, fast, fast, fast, fast - # Turbo - Woo! # [audience cheering.]
[laughs.]
[Mel Shellman.]
Whiplash isn't giving Turbo an inch as they speed towards the finish line! Much like how my boss didn't give me an inch about working the weekend.
And we're on the straightaway! Hey, Whiplash! Watch your back! What the [yells, grunts.]
[Mel.]
And Turbo wins again! Whiplash loses.
But he's not as big a loser as my boss, the Speedway manager, who will probably make me work late again tonight.
Because he's a miserable shell-head and no one likes him.
Am I right, Charlie? Yes, sir.
If I wasn't afraid of losing my job, I would shout to the heavens that my boss is the worst boss in the world, or my name isn't Mel Shellman! [echoing.]
Shellman, Shellman, Shellman Ah, well, that felt good.
Thanks for letting me bend your ear, Charlie.
I'm gonna grab some lunch.
Mm, today feels like a falafel day.
[crickets chirping.]
[loud chewing, gulps.]
Mmm, that's some good baba ganoush.
Hmm? [screams.]
[scream echoes.]
[Mel sobbing.]
[screeching.]
- [beeping.]
- [sobbing continues.]
Mel! You okay? This just in, Turbo.
The Speedway manager fired me! Oh! [gasping.]
Who will announce the races? Races don't count unless they're announced! Charlie! Oh, Charlie.
Oh, what'll you do without me, Charlie? Don't cry! Don't cry, my friend.
I'll be strong.
I'll be strong for both of us.
[dramatic sobbing.]
Wow, Mel, I'm sorry.
What do you do now? I guess I'll go crash with my brother for a few days until I find a new job.
Uh, you lost your job, not your house.
Actually, I've been living in the announcer's booth.
There's no bathroom, but the commute is great.
So, you walk out on the family business, then come crawling back and expect me to welcome you? You walked out! Dad wanted us both to become announcers like him! Dad was a doctor-slash-puppeteer, and I followed in his footsteps! Uncle Vinny was a puppet doctor.
Dad was an announcer! Are you sure? I thought Uncle Vinny was a haberdasher.
I don't know what that means.
No one does! Point is, if Mom was alive, she'd be ashamed of you.
[gasps.]
How dare you? I'm leaving! Wait, Mom's dead? [sighs.]
No.
I just wanted to make you feel bad.
Mom says hi.
- [voice shrill.]
Hello, dear! - Hi, Mom.
Oh, Melly-Belly, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't let you stay here? - In fact, if you wanted to move in - Well, let's just try the weekend and see how it goes, m'kay, sweetie? Listen, I have to get to work.
Could you keep an eye on Deuce? He's home with the sniffles.
Not a problem, Jennie! I'm Mel Shellman and I'm great with kids! Mwah! - [door opens, closes.]
- What's your name again? [crickets chirping.]
- Mel? Deuce? I'm home [gasps.]
- [Mel shivering.]
Mel? What's going on? This just in, Mel Shellman is achy and feverish, so no kissing or hugging, please! Hi, Mom! I think Mr.
Shellman caught my cold.
Don't worry, I made him some chicken soup.
He let me use the stove like a real grown-up! - [loud boom.]
- [chicken shrieks.]
[sirens wail in distance.]
- [alarm ringing.]
- [groans.]
Let's recap, Mel.
You've got no job, no money and nowhere to stay.
Oh, there must be someone looking to hire a skilled talker of words, but where? Come on down to the carnival, kids! Ride the Ferris wheel! Get your photo with Carny, the Carnival Koala! Fun fact about Carny.
He's actually a caterpillar in a koala costume.
His real name's Josiah, he's got one eye, and he's a close talker with bad breath.
- Hey! - [all shriek.]
I lost my eye buildin' this here carnival with my bare hands! And I got my bad breath from my momma.
You tell him, son! [all shriek.]
[all shriek louder.]
Leave yer straw hat at my office, Shellman.
Yerrrrrrr fired! [dramatic sigh.]
[Mel.]
Who'll give me a dollar? One dollar bid, now two Why, that's the best auctioneer I've ever seen! Two dollars! Thank you, sir! Now, two and a half.
Who'll give me two-fifty? Going once, twice, sold! Okay, folks, next item is an autographed poster of me, Mel Shellman.
Before I had my mustache? Oh, no! I thought I burned all of those! We will not start the bidding at five dollars.
Five dollars! Six dollars from me! So I can burn any evidence that I didn't have a mustache! Ten dollars! A bajillion dollars from me! Going once, twice, sold! Let me go! This world cannot know I used to be mouth-bald! [grunting.]
You can't do this to me! I'm an announcer! [horn honking.]
[register beeps, buzzes.]
Price check on orange juice.
It's not calcium-fortified, which would explain the customer's sunken eyes, slouching posture, and sagging midsection.
I like to add a little color to the price checks.
I'm an announcer of sport, you know.
Or I used to be.
Cleanup on aisle Mel.
[register beeps.]
[flies buzzing.]
You're stopping.
You're taking out money.
You're gonna give me a dollar.
You're putting your money away.
You're walking away from me.
You won't come back.
Mel, is that you? It's been one day! What happened? I don't know what happened.
There's been no one to announce it.
Okay, come on.
I think you need a hot meal.
[sniffs, chokes.]
And a shower.
[chewing loudly.]
If I'm no longer an announcer, then I'm nothing! Unless you all need an announcer.
But, uh, we're not racing right now.
I mean a personal announcer, for around the house.
Just think, the excitement of everyday life highlighted by Mel Shellman, the snail with a velvety voice of liquid gold! Besides races, why would we ever need an announcer? Why wouldn't you need an announcer? - Um - Good question.
He got me.
We're back with what appears to be a one-snail pie-eating competition.
Shadow's on his 17th pie and [burping.]
He's done it! White Shadow is the winner with 17 pies! Yes, 17 greasy, buttery blueberry pies laden in saturated fat and carbohydrates! When he says it like that, I don't feel like a winner.
[suspenseful music plays on TV.]
We're here live watching Whiplash watching TV.
It appears to be some sort of crime mystery.
There's a detective-looking fellow on a boat, and I think he's Yes, investigating a sea captain's disappearance.
He's heard a noise in a darkened room, and if he opens that door, he'll likely be disappeared himself.
And Whiplash has shut off the TV and is moving towards me with an angry face.
[Mel yelping.]
Oh, right in the spleen! Is that my spleen, Charlie? [groans.]
Charlie's not here.
Gah! I have no idea what I'm seeing.
Mel Shellman is gonna sit this one out.
[snoring.]
Two hours in and Turbo's still fast asleep.
Still asleep.
Still sleeping.
Possibly dreaming, but definitely still sleeping.
Still Still sleeping.
[shouts.]
[Mel.]
This is Paint Watch, Day Two.
After 41 hours, the paint remains dry.
All right, enough! Uh, Mel? We've talked it over and Stand by for a special announcement from the F.
A.
S.
T.
Crew! - [microphone feedback.]
- [sighs.]
We wanna try and get you your old job back.
Or just kick you out.
I'm good either way.
[gasps.]
My old job? Oh, impossible! The Speedway manager is the toughest, most unforgiving boss in all of Turbotown.
He fired me, and he'll never un-fire me! You don't need to be announcing Whiplash's bath time or Burn's shell-waxing, or how much toilet paper Shadow uses.
I use a lot.
Face it, Mel.
You belong up there, in that booth.
And not just because my bed and my teddy bear are up there.
That's right! You're an announcer.
And if there's one thing you know how to do, it's talk.
So march into that manager's office, and talk him into giving you your job back! - Yeah.
You can do it! - We just want you gone.
I'm Mel Shellman, and I can talk! [dramatic music playing.]
- [Mel.]
Best announcer in town! - [indistinct arguing.]
[Mel.]
Shellman! Look at this mustache.
Mel Shellman! I got my job back! - Way to go! - Glad you're gone! Yeah, it was tough in there, but I talked myself into it! [confused murmuring.]
Hang on, you talked yourself into what? I told myself that I'm the best announcer in town, so I gave myself one more chance.
Okay I'm just gonna ask, and I know it sounds crazy, but, - Mel, are you your own boss? - [Charlie clearing throat.]
Mmm.
Plus, I know a few of my dirty secrets and I told me that I wasn't afraid to go public with them.
[chuckles.]
Okay, I can't I can't even - He should have stayed fired.
- I'm gonna have some pie.
You are so weird.
[mechanical whirring.]
Ah, it's good to have the old team together again, eh, Charlie? How 'bout we go grab a bite for old times' sake? Shellman! You're on thin ice, pal.
Get back to work! Oh, yes, sir! This just in, Mel Shellman is back! [sighs.]
There! Slides are loaded, lens is clean, and here's the clicker.
- [mechanical whirring.]
- [roaring.]
Oh, wait.
This is the slide clicker.
Ooh, are we watching a movie? I'll get the hot butter.
What? We don't have any popcorn.
Who said anything about popcorn? [gulping.]
Sorry, guys, there's no movie.
[all.]
Aw! Because today, I'm gonna ask Burn to take a huge step in our relationship by becoming "online official.
" [all.]
Ooh! That's right.
If all goes well, I'll soon be one of those lucky guys whose online status reads "not single.
" Wow, that's serious.
What kind of big romantic gesture you have planned? Skywriting? Flash mob? Take her to a restaurant and complain you found something in your food and when she looks, it's a note asking her to be "online official"? And everyone applauds, and she's like, "What?" Even better! I've prepared a six-hour slide show presentation pointing out the statistical benefits of being "online official.
" Did you know that Burn and I could save over $12 a year by combining our ShopClub memberships? [snoring.]
Your slides put Shadow to sleep.
That was probably the gallon of hot butter he ate.
Nope, it was your slides.
Don't you think Burn is gonna want her "online official" boyfriend to do something more exciting than a boring slide show? Boring? Puh-lease! I spiced it up with a choice emoji on slide 37.
[laughs.]
- He thinks it's a real pie.
- [Burn.]
Hey, Boo? That's her! Get! There's a piece of cinnamon gum stuck under the bus bench.
It's a two-snail job.
Before we do that, there's something important I have to ask you.
What is it, Boo? Well, we've been dating a long time now, and Whoo-hoo! Coming through! [laughing.]
Ooh, yeah! Torquer in the hizzy! Ooh, Torquer! What you doing here? Hey, babe.
Just slammin' into town for a rad-acious stunt, as part of my Rockin' Extreme Games Tour.
So many buzzwords.
Are you guys old friends or something? [chuckles.]
We were more than friends.
Isn't that right, B? Oh, yeah! We used to date like crazy.
Remember when we started that band? Totally! How did that one song go? [playing rock music.]
[both.]
# We might date a nerd or three # But in the end, you'll be with me [electric guitar.]
Even when I'm with my Boo I'm really only thinking of you Then dump that dud you're speaking of And come back to me, your one true love Are you kidding me? - [both laughing.]
- Whoo! We still got it.
You know it! Hey, wanna see if our initials are still carved in that tree at Lover's Lookout? Sure! But I had a slide show, and we were gonna get gum.
Ah, the gum can wait.
Torquer's in town! - Who in the hot corn is Torquer? - Ah, Torquer's the best! We used to hang out before you and Turbo showed up.
Yeah, he's so cool! I always hoped he'd get back together with Burn.
[whimpering.]
Until she met you, that is.
Good save, Shadow.
Okay, am I crazy, or was he totally hitting on Burn? Ah, don't worry about Torquer.
Sure, Burn used to have a deep romantic connection with the guy.
But that's only because he's more fun, crazy and extreme than you.
And he plays the keytar.
So cool! Yeah, that is pretty cool.
Yeah? Well, I'm not giving up without a fight.
If Burn likes extreme, I'll show her extreme.
[heavy metal music playing.]
Oh, yeah.
It feels good to be bad.
Oh! - [electric guitar playing.]
- Ooh.
That's it, babe! You've still got it.
- Well, I have a great teacher.
- [both laugh.]
Hey, fellow righteous dudes.
- Who wants to jam? - [whirring.]
[shrill notes.]
Stop that! Why are you dressed like your closet threw up? Oh, this? Well, I've decided to start living my life a little closer to the proverbial edge.
What are you talking about? I'm going extreme, baby! Heck, I might even stay up past 8:00 p.
m.
tonight and catch the late newscast.
Okay, this is getting weird.
So, I'm gonna bounce and get preppin' for my big jump tomorrow.
You're gonna be there, right? I wouldn't miss it.
Torquer out! What the heck is wrong with you? Me? I don't know if you noticed, but your "friend" Torquer clearly still has designs on you.
Oh, please, he doesn't have designs.
We broke up years ago.
You're just being paranoid.
Paranoid like a fox.
[cars honking.]
All right, so here's the plan.
I'm gonna hop on my board, slingshot up the ramp, jackknife it over the freeway, and wha-bam! Stick the landing on the other side.
[all.]
Yeah! It's gonna be epic, Torque-man! You know it! But the real show is gonna be after the stunt when I ask the girl I've always loved to be "online official.
" - Ooh! - Aw, yeah! Big step, T! I knew he had designs.
I'm gonna have to put a stop to this.
This is it! I figured out a way to reverse engineer my very own pickle juice! [steam whistling.]
Ugh! Just another block of gold.
Oh, hey, Skid.
How are things? You know, uh, pretty rough, actually.
My career's at a standstill, the lawsuits are piling up.
And I got a call from the doctor with some serious news.
He said That's great! Do you still have that experimental rubber compound you created? You mean my Gaffy Taffy? [loudly.]
Oh, no, I got rid of all that! It's far too dangerous for this planet! [loud music playing.]
[softly.]
Meet me at the safe in two seconds.
[beeping.]
[dings.]
[Skidmark gasps.]
It's gone! Wait, no, I left it in the shoe box.
Let me make sure it still works.
Perfect.
[maniacal giggling.]
This one's for you, babe! For me? [gasping.]
To the extreme! [screaming.]
[all gasp.]
[maniacal cackling.]
Yo, whatchya cacklin' about? Uh, well, I was uh just laughing at the funny-looking hubcap over there.
[laughing.]
Oh, man! That's the funniest thing I've ever seen! It's just lying there! This is gonna be good! Yeah, something tells me it'll be out of this world.
I sure hope so! That's my boyfriend.
He said this is gonna be his biggest jump ever! Wait, Torquer's your boyfriend? Oh, you must be Janice! Torquer's told me so much about you.
- Sounds like you guys are pretty serious.
- You are? Well, we're not "online official" or anything, but he has been dropping a lot of hints.
He has? Knowing Torquer, he'll do it with some big, over-the-top, romantic gesture.
He will? I just hope nothing goes wrong with this stunt.
We've got Little Torquer to think about.
We just adopted him.
Oh, I've done a very bad thing! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - [horns honking.]
[grunts.]
- This is for you, Janice! - Whoo-hoo! Mwah! To the extreme! [Chet yelps.]
[all gasp.]
- [gasps.]
- [screams.]
This is gonna hurt! [all gasp.]
[screams, groans.]
- [all.]
Ooh! - [gasps.]
[screams.]
[grunting.]
[together.]
He's okay! [yells.]
[groaning.]
[screaming.]
[grunting.]
I'm telling you, our cactus-hauling business was a great idea! [moaning, grunts.]
- Ah! - [brakes screeching.]
- [groans.]
- [truck creaking.]
[Chet screams.]
Phew! [grunts.]
[all gasp.]
Now that was extreme.
[moaning.]
Why the heck did you do that? I was gonna ask you to be "online official," but then Torquer showed up, I thought he was gonna ask you first, so I got jealous, rigged his slingshot to launch him to the moon, but it was a misunderstanding, so I tried to save him.
Now I look like a pin cushion and everything in my body is broken.
You were gonna ask me to be "online official"? Uh-huh.
Well, it's about dang time! We've been datin' forever! And do you know how much we're wasting on two ShopClub memberships?
# - Whoa! - Woo! # Those snails are fast - # Turbo - F-A-S-T # That's the team you'll never beat Turbo, he got super speed Whiplash, he jets to the lead Skidmark, propeller flow Chet's safe, he'll take it slow Smoove Move with them speakers, baby Burn burnin' that fire crazy White Shadow, big with no fear Now you know the team is here There they go, gone in a flash - # Those snails are fast - Turbo # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # Those snails are fast, fast, fast, fast, fast - # Turbo - Woo! # [audience cheering.]
[laughs.]
[Mel Shellman.]
Whiplash isn't giving Turbo an inch as they speed towards the finish line! Much like how my boss didn't give me an inch about working the weekend.
And we're on the straightaway! Hey, Whiplash! Watch your back! What the [yells, grunts.]
[Mel.]
And Turbo wins again! Whiplash loses.
But he's not as big a loser as my boss, the Speedway manager, who will probably make me work late again tonight.
Because he's a miserable shell-head and no one likes him.
Am I right, Charlie? Yes, sir.
If I wasn't afraid of losing my job, I would shout to the heavens that my boss is the worst boss in the world, or my name isn't Mel Shellman! [echoing.]
Shellman, Shellman, Shellman Ah, well, that felt good.
Thanks for letting me bend your ear, Charlie.
I'm gonna grab some lunch.
Mm, today feels like a falafel day.
[crickets chirping.]
[loud chewing, gulps.]
Mmm, that's some good baba ganoush.
Hmm? [screams.]
[scream echoes.]
[Mel sobbing.]
[screeching.]
- [beeping.]
- [sobbing continues.]
Mel! You okay? This just in, Turbo.
The Speedway manager fired me! Oh! [gasping.]
Who will announce the races? Races don't count unless they're announced! Charlie! Oh, Charlie.
Oh, what'll you do without me, Charlie? Don't cry! Don't cry, my friend.
I'll be strong.
I'll be strong for both of us.
[dramatic sobbing.]
Wow, Mel, I'm sorry.
What do you do now? I guess I'll go crash with my brother for a few days until I find a new job.
Uh, you lost your job, not your house.
Actually, I've been living in the announcer's booth.
There's no bathroom, but the commute is great.
So, you walk out on the family business, then come crawling back and expect me to welcome you? You walked out! Dad wanted us both to become announcers like him! Dad was a doctor-slash-puppeteer, and I followed in his footsteps! Uncle Vinny was a puppet doctor.
Dad was an announcer! Are you sure? I thought Uncle Vinny was a haberdasher.
I don't know what that means.
No one does! Point is, if Mom was alive, she'd be ashamed of you.
[gasps.]
How dare you? I'm leaving! Wait, Mom's dead? [sighs.]
No.
I just wanted to make you feel bad.
Mom says hi.
- [voice shrill.]
Hello, dear! - Hi, Mom.
Oh, Melly-Belly, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't let you stay here? - In fact, if you wanted to move in - Well, let's just try the weekend and see how it goes, m'kay, sweetie? Listen, I have to get to work.
Could you keep an eye on Deuce? He's home with the sniffles.
Not a problem, Jennie! I'm Mel Shellman and I'm great with kids! Mwah! - [door opens, closes.]
- What's your name again? [crickets chirping.]
- Mel? Deuce? I'm home [gasps.]
- [Mel shivering.]
Mel? What's going on? This just in, Mel Shellman is achy and feverish, so no kissing or hugging, please! Hi, Mom! I think Mr.
Shellman caught my cold.
Don't worry, I made him some chicken soup.
He let me use the stove like a real grown-up! - [loud boom.]
- [chicken shrieks.]
[sirens wail in distance.]
- [alarm ringing.]
- [groans.]
Let's recap, Mel.
You've got no job, no money and nowhere to stay.
Oh, there must be someone looking to hire a skilled talker of words, but where? Come on down to the carnival, kids! Ride the Ferris wheel! Get your photo with Carny, the Carnival Koala! Fun fact about Carny.
He's actually a caterpillar in a koala costume.
His real name's Josiah, he's got one eye, and he's a close talker with bad breath.
- Hey! - [all shriek.]
I lost my eye buildin' this here carnival with my bare hands! And I got my bad breath from my momma.
You tell him, son! [all shriek.]
[all shriek louder.]
Leave yer straw hat at my office, Shellman.
Yerrrrrrr fired! [dramatic sigh.]
[Mel.]
Who'll give me a dollar? One dollar bid, now two Why, that's the best auctioneer I've ever seen! Two dollars! Thank you, sir! Now, two and a half.
Who'll give me two-fifty? Going once, twice, sold! Okay, folks, next item is an autographed poster of me, Mel Shellman.
Before I had my mustache? Oh, no! I thought I burned all of those! We will not start the bidding at five dollars.
Five dollars! Six dollars from me! So I can burn any evidence that I didn't have a mustache! Ten dollars! A bajillion dollars from me! Going once, twice, sold! Let me go! This world cannot know I used to be mouth-bald! [grunting.]
You can't do this to me! I'm an announcer! [horn honking.]
[register beeps, buzzes.]
Price check on orange juice.
It's not calcium-fortified, which would explain the customer's sunken eyes, slouching posture, and sagging midsection.
I like to add a little color to the price checks.
I'm an announcer of sport, you know.
Or I used to be.
Cleanup on aisle Mel.
[register beeps.]
[flies buzzing.]
You're stopping.
You're taking out money.
You're gonna give me a dollar.
You're putting your money away.
You're walking away from me.
You won't come back.
Mel, is that you? It's been one day! What happened? I don't know what happened.
There's been no one to announce it.
Okay, come on.
I think you need a hot meal.
[sniffs, chokes.]
And a shower.
[chewing loudly.]
If I'm no longer an announcer, then I'm nothing! Unless you all need an announcer.
But, uh, we're not racing right now.
I mean a personal announcer, for around the house.
Just think, the excitement of everyday life highlighted by Mel Shellman, the snail with a velvety voice of liquid gold! Besides races, why would we ever need an announcer? Why wouldn't you need an announcer? - Um - Good question.
He got me.
We're back with what appears to be a one-snail pie-eating competition.
Shadow's on his 17th pie and [burping.]
He's done it! White Shadow is the winner with 17 pies! Yes, 17 greasy, buttery blueberry pies laden in saturated fat and carbohydrates! When he says it like that, I don't feel like a winner.
[suspenseful music plays on TV.]
We're here live watching Whiplash watching TV.
It appears to be some sort of crime mystery.
There's a detective-looking fellow on a boat, and I think he's Yes, investigating a sea captain's disappearance.
He's heard a noise in a darkened room, and if he opens that door, he'll likely be disappeared himself.
And Whiplash has shut off the TV and is moving towards me with an angry face.
[Mel yelping.]
Oh, right in the spleen! Is that my spleen, Charlie? [groans.]
Charlie's not here.
Gah! I have no idea what I'm seeing.
Mel Shellman is gonna sit this one out.
[snoring.]
Two hours in and Turbo's still fast asleep.
Still asleep.
Still sleeping.
Possibly dreaming, but definitely still sleeping.
Still Still sleeping.
[shouts.]
[Mel.]
This is Paint Watch, Day Two.
After 41 hours, the paint remains dry.
All right, enough! Uh, Mel? We've talked it over and Stand by for a special announcement from the F.
A.
S.
T.
Crew! - [microphone feedback.]
- [sighs.]
We wanna try and get you your old job back.
Or just kick you out.
I'm good either way.
[gasps.]
My old job? Oh, impossible! The Speedway manager is the toughest, most unforgiving boss in all of Turbotown.
He fired me, and he'll never un-fire me! You don't need to be announcing Whiplash's bath time or Burn's shell-waxing, or how much toilet paper Shadow uses.
I use a lot.
Face it, Mel.
You belong up there, in that booth.
And not just because my bed and my teddy bear are up there.
That's right! You're an announcer.
And if there's one thing you know how to do, it's talk.
So march into that manager's office, and talk him into giving you your job back! - Yeah.
You can do it! - We just want you gone.
I'm Mel Shellman, and I can talk! [dramatic music playing.]
- [Mel.]
Best announcer in town! - [indistinct arguing.]
[Mel.]
Shellman! Look at this mustache.
Mel Shellman! I got my job back! - Way to go! - Glad you're gone! Yeah, it was tough in there, but I talked myself into it! [confused murmuring.]
Hang on, you talked yourself into what? I told myself that I'm the best announcer in town, so I gave myself one more chance.
Okay I'm just gonna ask, and I know it sounds crazy, but, - Mel, are you your own boss? - [Charlie clearing throat.]
Mmm.
Plus, I know a few of my dirty secrets and I told me that I wasn't afraid to go public with them.
[chuckles.]
Okay, I can't I can't even - He should have stayed fired.
- I'm gonna have some pie.
You are so weird.
[mechanical whirring.]
Ah, it's good to have the old team together again, eh, Charlie? How 'bout we go grab a bite for old times' sake? Shellman! You're on thin ice, pal.
Get back to work! Oh, yes, sir! This just in, Mel Shellman is back! [sighs.]
There! Slides are loaded, lens is clean, and here's the clicker.
- [mechanical whirring.]
- [roaring.]
Oh, wait.
This is the slide clicker.
Ooh, are we watching a movie? I'll get the hot butter.
What? We don't have any popcorn.
Who said anything about popcorn? [gulping.]
Sorry, guys, there's no movie.
[all.]
Aw! Because today, I'm gonna ask Burn to take a huge step in our relationship by becoming "online official.
" [all.]
Ooh! That's right.
If all goes well, I'll soon be one of those lucky guys whose online status reads "not single.
" Wow, that's serious.
What kind of big romantic gesture you have planned? Skywriting? Flash mob? Take her to a restaurant and complain you found something in your food and when she looks, it's a note asking her to be "online official"? And everyone applauds, and she's like, "What?" Even better! I've prepared a six-hour slide show presentation pointing out the statistical benefits of being "online official.
" Did you know that Burn and I could save over $12 a year by combining our ShopClub memberships? [snoring.]
Your slides put Shadow to sleep.
That was probably the gallon of hot butter he ate.
Nope, it was your slides.
Don't you think Burn is gonna want her "online official" boyfriend to do something more exciting than a boring slide show? Boring? Puh-lease! I spiced it up with a choice emoji on slide 37.
[laughs.]
- He thinks it's a real pie.
- [Burn.]
Hey, Boo? That's her! Get! There's a piece of cinnamon gum stuck under the bus bench.
It's a two-snail job.
Before we do that, there's something important I have to ask you.
What is it, Boo? Well, we've been dating a long time now, and Whoo-hoo! Coming through! [laughing.]
Ooh, yeah! Torquer in the hizzy! Ooh, Torquer! What you doing here? Hey, babe.
Just slammin' into town for a rad-acious stunt, as part of my Rockin' Extreme Games Tour.
So many buzzwords.
Are you guys old friends or something? [chuckles.]
We were more than friends.
Isn't that right, B? Oh, yeah! We used to date like crazy.
Remember when we started that band? Totally! How did that one song go? [playing rock music.]
[both.]
# We might date a nerd or three # But in the end, you'll be with me [electric guitar.]
Even when I'm with my Boo I'm really only thinking of you Then dump that dud you're speaking of And come back to me, your one true love Are you kidding me? - [both laughing.]
- Whoo! We still got it.
You know it! Hey, wanna see if our initials are still carved in that tree at Lover's Lookout? Sure! But I had a slide show, and we were gonna get gum.
Ah, the gum can wait.
Torquer's in town! - Who in the hot corn is Torquer? - Ah, Torquer's the best! We used to hang out before you and Turbo showed up.
Yeah, he's so cool! I always hoped he'd get back together with Burn.
[whimpering.]
Until she met you, that is.
Good save, Shadow.
Okay, am I crazy, or was he totally hitting on Burn? Ah, don't worry about Torquer.
Sure, Burn used to have a deep romantic connection with the guy.
But that's only because he's more fun, crazy and extreme than you.
And he plays the keytar.
So cool! Yeah, that is pretty cool.
Yeah? Well, I'm not giving up without a fight.
If Burn likes extreme, I'll show her extreme.
[heavy metal music playing.]
Oh, yeah.
It feels good to be bad.
Oh! - [electric guitar playing.]
- Ooh.
That's it, babe! You've still got it.
- Well, I have a great teacher.
- [both laugh.]
Hey, fellow righteous dudes.
- Who wants to jam? - [whirring.]
[shrill notes.]
Stop that! Why are you dressed like your closet threw up? Oh, this? Well, I've decided to start living my life a little closer to the proverbial edge.
What are you talking about? I'm going extreme, baby! Heck, I might even stay up past 8:00 p.
m.
tonight and catch the late newscast.
Okay, this is getting weird.
So, I'm gonna bounce and get preppin' for my big jump tomorrow.
You're gonna be there, right? I wouldn't miss it.
Torquer out! What the heck is wrong with you? Me? I don't know if you noticed, but your "friend" Torquer clearly still has designs on you.
Oh, please, he doesn't have designs.
We broke up years ago.
You're just being paranoid.
Paranoid like a fox.
[cars honking.]
All right, so here's the plan.
I'm gonna hop on my board, slingshot up the ramp, jackknife it over the freeway, and wha-bam! Stick the landing on the other side.
[all.]
Yeah! It's gonna be epic, Torque-man! You know it! But the real show is gonna be after the stunt when I ask the girl I've always loved to be "online official.
" - Ooh! - Aw, yeah! Big step, T! I knew he had designs.
I'm gonna have to put a stop to this.
This is it! I figured out a way to reverse engineer my very own pickle juice! [steam whistling.]
Ugh! Just another block of gold.
Oh, hey, Skid.
How are things? You know, uh, pretty rough, actually.
My career's at a standstill, the lawsuits are piling up.
And I got a call from the doctor with some serious news.
He said That's great! Do you still have that experimental rubber compound you created? You mean my Gaffy Taffy? [loudly.]
Oh, no, I got rid of all that! It's far too dangerous for this planet! [loud music playing.]
[softly.]
Meet me at the safe in two seconds.
[beeping.]
[dings.]
[Skidmark gasps.]
It's gone! Wait, no, I left it in the shoe box.
Let me make sure it still works.
Perfect.
[maniacal giggling.]
This one's for you, babe! For me? [gasping.]
To the extreme! [screaming.]
[all gasp.]
[maniacal cackling.]
Yo, whatchya cacklin' about? Uh, well, I was uh just laughing at the funny-looking hubcap over there.
[laughing.]
Oh, man! That's the funniest thing I've ever seen! It's just lying there! This is gonna be good! Yeah, something tells me it'll be out of this world.
I sure hope so! That's my boyfriend.
He said this is gonna be his biggest jump ever! Wait, Torquer's your boyfriend? Oh, you must be Janice! Torquer's told me so much about you.
- Sounds like you guys are pretty serious.
- You are? Well, we're not "online official" or anything, but he has been dropping a lot of hints.
He has? Knowing Torquer, he'll do it with some big, over-the-top, romantic gesture.
He will? I just hope nothing goes wrong with this stunt.
We've got Little Torquer to think about.
We just adopted him.
Oh, I've done a very bad thing! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - [horns honking.]
[grunts.]
- This is for you, Janice! - Whoo-hoo! Mwah! To the extreme! [Chet yelps.]
[all gasp.]
- [gasps.]
- [screams.]
This is gonna hurt! [all gasp.]
[screams, groans.]
- [all.]
Ooh! - [gasps.]
[screams.]
[grunting.]
[together.]
He's okay! [yells.]
[groaning.]
[screaming.]
[grunting.]
I'm telling you, our cactus-hauling business was a great idea! [moaning, grunts.]
- Ah! - [brakes screeching.]
- [groans.]
- [truck creaking.]
[Chet screams.]
Phew! [grunts.]
[all gasp.]
Now that was extreme.
[moaning.]
Why the heck did you do that? I was gonna ask you to be "online official," but then Torquer showed up, I thought he was gonna ask you first, so I got jealous, rigged his slingshot to launch him to the moon, but it was a misunderstanding, so I tried to save him.
Now I look like a pin cushion and everything in my body is broken.
You were gonna ask me to be "online official"? Uh-huh.
Well, it's about dang time! We've been datin' forever! And do you know how much we're wasting on two ShopClub memberships?