Wander Over Yonder (2013) s02e11 Episode Script

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Stunning views until Dominator set everything on fire.
Ruined by Dominator.
- Ruined by Dominator.
- Dominator! Huh.
She must've missed this one.
Oh, this is great.
This place is so small and dark that no one knows it exists.
It's the perfect place to hide from Dominator.
It sure is.
I'm gonna record a review, and let everyone know about this planet so they can all come and enjoy it, too.
No, not so fast, pal.
We can't tell anyone.
If word gets out, then Dominator will show up and ruin this place.
This has to be our little secret, okay? Sh! Oh, a secret.
I can keep a secret.
It's no secret that I am a great secret keeper.
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna go figure out a shelter.
Just remember sh! Secret.
Oh, I'm sure they've got things under control.
Yeah, they're fine.
- What are you doing? - Oh, nothing.
Just doing a dance to celebrate finding this still totally secret planet.
Yeah, well, tone it down.
You haven't said anything about this planet to anyone, have you? - Said anything? No.
- Good job, buddy.
Now why don't you help out and gather some palm fronds - for the thatching.
- Yes, perfect.
It will give me a chance to go check on all the other secrets this secret planet has to offer.
Sh! Hello.
- Is everyone okay over here? - Oh, it's the king of the planet.
- King? Oh, no, I'm not - O gracious king, have mercy on us.
We are but poor refugees fleeing the crushing might of Dominator.
Give us sanctuary, we beg of you.
Well, of course you can stay.
But can you keep your voices down - just a little because - The king has granted us sanctuary! Let us raise our voices in tribute to his graciousness! Huzzah! Hail to the king! Hail to the king! Wise and generous king, we have prepared a lavish feast in your honor.
Well, that was very kind of you I really don't want any The king is displeased with the feast.
- Prepare a bigger feast! - No, no.
I meant It was very thoughtful of you to prepare this feast, and it will be quite adequate for me to satisfy my kingly hunger.
I'm just going to go eat this in the jungle.
If you please, just keep it down.
Ugh, the service at this resort is terrible.
Ugh.
We've been waiting for at least two minutes.
I'm going to find the manager.
I will give him a piece of my mind.
Yes, and make a big, loud fuss doing it.
Harumph.
Harumph, harumph! Thank you for your patience, monsieur.
Now.
if you'll come this way, I will show you to your table.
Oh.
We saw your fire pit as we were passing by.
This is a most charming resort you have.
We are, of course, Clancy and Nancy Schmancy of the Fancy Schmancys.
We too are in the resort business.
Oui.
Very good, monsieur.
Although I must ask you to keep off the beach, s'il vous plait, as it is being sanded.
Is there anything else I can do for you? - Fruity drinks, ja? - Mm, ja.
Excusez-moi.
Oop.
Excuse me.
I don't mean to be a bother, but would it be too much trouble for you to whip me up a couple of fruity drinks? The king demands fruity drinks! Oh.
Thank you.
This will do nicely.
We are your eternally loyal subjects.
Hail to the king, hail to the king! Hail to the king! Hey, thanks, buddy.
I am parched.
Ah! - What are you wearing? - Nothin'.
Okay.
Still waitin' on those palm fronds.
I'm gonna get you those fronds.
Only the best fronds for my best friend.
Ooh la la.
Much too bright for such a lovely moonlit night, no? Ahem.
The Fancy Schmancys do not share.
Wow! Good thing we saw that fire and that disco party, or we totally would've missed this secret and exotic planet.
Dad, when are we gonna see some animals? Look, a wild Zbornak.
Sh.
Don't spook it now, son.
Whoa, monkey! Wh Hey! That monkey stole my juice box.
Danke.
Sacre bleu! We'll put the pool here, and the hot tubs over there, and I think sun lamps everywhere so it won't be so dark all the time.
We are going to make this the hottest new vacation spot.
If only there were a real estate agent.
As you can see, these distant foothills are the perfect spot for your resort.
Great views and plenty of room for expansion.
And most importantly, as far from the beach as possible.
Ja, that is perfect.
Whew! - Men, blow up the foothills! - What?! These are Dominator's spies, sent to threaten our king.
Wander! King disco monkey want schmancy palm fronds! What in flarnation is going on? Be right back.
Wander, are you keeping secrets from me? No.
Yes.
I mean, I was trying to keep the planet a secret, but then there were these people who needed help, so I told them about the planet, and they built a fire to me, their king, and then more people came, so in an attempt to keep all of them secret naturally I had to be a waiter, a monkey, and a real estate agent and now they're all fighting, and it's all my fault and I never did get you those palm friends, because I'm a bad frond, but worst of all I'm a big ol' liar.
Okay, I'm gonna pretend I understood that, and focus on the problem at hand.
All this commotion is gonna attract Dominator's attention! I don't think we're attracting that much attention.
Buddy, it's time to fess up and fix all this.
I have a confession to make.
I'm not really a king.
Waiter.
Monkey.
Or real estate agent.
I'm just a goofy, wandering wanderer who wanders around the galaxy trying to help people and not make a mess of things like I did today.
Sorry.
Wait.
You're Wander? We've heard tell of you.
- So have we.
- Ja.
- We all have.
- You've helped so many people.
How can we help you? Hide the lights! The statue! Shh! But how can folks stay here now? If we light the place up again, Dominator will see us.
- I've got a secret.
- Ooh, that's nice, Sylvia, but I don't know how we're all gonna Knowing you, I assumed we'd have guests.
Help, Dominator.
Sanctuary.
What's the password? The monkey stole my juice box.
Best secret hideaway ever! Some secrets are worth sharing.
Sir, what were you thinking, giving Dominator flowers?! Girls are supposed to like flowers.
It's her stupid fault she doesn't know that! Should've given her a cooler gift, like chocolates, or maybe a toaster.
No.
No presents for the enemy! Wake up, Syl.
It's a beautiful morning.
I got just the thing to stop your snornin'! Oh, no! Where's my banjo? Banjo? Banjo! Banjo? - Uh, buddy, everything okay? - Where's my banjo? - Banjo? Where's your hat? - Oh, no, my chapeau! Now I want you to go to your room and think about what you've done.
Oh, yeah? You go to your room! Think about what you've done! Love killer! Stupid Peepers doesn't understand me.
Doesn't care about my needs.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Wander, I'm really upset right now.
The last thing I need is your stupid sunshine games.
Raah! Get out of there! What the what? Oh, yeah.
That hits the spot.
Kinda dry.
Wander, if this is some kind of trick Oh, this is exactly what I needed.
Oh, my grop, it's magic! It's a magic hat that can give me exactly what I need to impress Dominator! Ah, silly me, it's probably under this rock.
Or maybe under this rock.
I know.
It's under this rock.
Or this rock.
Or this rock.
- Or this rock.
Or this rock or - Maybe try retracing your steps.
Super duper idea.
We'll just orbble back to the last planet No hat, no orbble juice.
Well, then I'll just check the map No hat, no map.
Okay, an inspirational ditty should lift my spirits No hat, no banjo.
No hat! No hat, no map.
No hat, no orbble juice.
No hat, no Wander!! Easy, buddy.
Easy.
The hat is just a thing.
I've never known you to get so worked up over stuff.
You're right, Sylvia.
- It's only a silly hat.
- That's the spirit.
Oh, grop.
We gotta find that hat.
So, magic hat.
I have this friend named Hater.
I mean traitor.
And I I mean, my friend kind of likes this girl.
And I I mean, he was wondering what one would need to make her fall in love with me.
Him! "Overcoming Your Severe Temper.
" "Not Being A Jerk For Jerks.
" "How To Accept Your Flaws And Change Your Entire Personality.
" "So You're A Totally Different Person.
" Come on, hat.
Girls don't like to read! What will make her happy? Fine, Mr.
Smarty Hat.
What's the one thing she likes the least? Just give me what I need! Breath mints? Come on, buddy.
If your old hat's gone, we will find a new one you like just as much.
I forthwith hereby proclaim this hat to be most agreeable.
Pip, pip.
A chapeau is merely a construct of the mind, is it not? Hat's great! Best headpiece! Hat's great.
Best headpiece.
Why, I do declare! Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah You did it, Wander.
That one is perfect.
- Do you feel better? - But my hat is green!! So, hat, if you won't give me what I want, you should feel the wrath of my hat rack! Good one, me.
Now girls! Gimme something for girls! Fuzzy? Pink? Now we're talkin'.
More! More! Gimme more stuff girls like! Lipstick.
Salads.
A bag of glitter.
Dominator will love these! What else? What else? Ooh, I know.
A unicorn! Yes!! So stupid, so girly.
green! Okay, okay.
You want your old hat back.
I want to like these, Sylvia, I really do.
But none of them have that same magic.
Somebody say magic? We sell those.
Huh.
Firm.
Tall.
Voluminous.
- Can you pull stuff out of it? - Of course.
Go ahead.
Sylvia, look.
Just like my hat.
What else will it give you? Items that you need and not what you want, forcing you to improvise and take things as they come, sort of like a physical manifestation of the challenges we all face in life? A banjo? - Hmm, pretty much handkerchiefs.
- But it's magic? Not real magic.
You know how rare those are? Son, if I had a real magic hat, I'd never let it out of my sight ever.
Mrs.
Dominator Hater.
Hey, hat, monogram some Mrs.
Hater towels for me.
Thanks.
Sir, a unicorn is chewing up the engine room! What is going on?! Is that what I think it is? It's not a magical, mystical hat that gives you anything you want, if that's what you're implying.
Shut up, it's mine! I need it to conquer Dominator's heart.
Conquer her heart? We can use this to actually conquer her.
But it's really good at making lady presents.
Forget presents! We can make super weapons.
Gifts, gifts.
Nightgowns and baby dolls and leg hair wax.
She will be mine! Weapons, weapons.
Bazookas and laser blasters and sonic cannons.
The universe will be mine! Uh-oh.
- Really? You're sure you're fine? - Yeah.
I just have to face we're not gonna find my hat, and I'll never replace it.
But knowing that old hat, it's probably out there helping some other deserving soul who needs it more than me.
I guess, from now on, I'm just regular old Wander, the guy with nothing on his noggin.
Oh.
Did not see that coming.
My hat! Whoa, whoa, what makes you think the hat is up there? 'Cause this is exactly what happened - when I stole it.
- Wa When you what?! - You stole something? - Back in my past, I wandered to a galaxy in the middle of a civil war.
Two former allies discovered the hat could give them wonderful things, but they got too greedy and turned against each other.
In an attempt to conquer the galaxy, they forced the hat to give them whatever they wanted without a thought to how the poor, helpless hat felt.
I felt so bad for it, I did the only thing I could.
I took it, and kept it safe on my head.
Eventually, it learned to trust me and was nice enough to help me.
- And right now - We need to help it.
But how? We don't have orbble juice.
- What do we do, what do we do?! - Sir, get rid of the hat! But I still haven't found the perfect thing Sir! My hat! Hey, Hater.
I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble, - if I could get my - Take it! - Oh.
Hey, thanks.
- Sure.
No problem! - That's really nice of you.
- Whatever! It's fine! - Okay.
- Okay! - Okay.
- Okay! - Okay.
- Okay! - Okay.
- Okay, fine! - Just get outta here, take that stupid hat with you! - Okay.
This hat may give me whatever I need, but it turns out what I really need is my hat.
Looks like it needs you, too, pal.