Young Dracula (2006) s02e11 Episode Script

Ungrateful spawn! I'll banish you to the darkest pits of Hades! Yeah? Well, bring it on! You'll never see the light of day again.
I won't anyway, I'm a vampire now.
Ingrid, remember what happened to the last daughter who challenged me? I'm your only daughter.
You are now.
What is it this time, Zoltan? Mistress Ingrid wants to go on a date with her boyfriend.
- And your father doesn't approve.
- Vampires and Breathers do not date.
Well, they do now.
You set one fang outside of this castle and your death won't be worth living.
- Woah, woah.
Can't you talk about this sensibly? - Don't tell me! He's the one overreacting.
You think that's overreacting? I'll give you overreacting.
HE ROARS Oh, stop it, the pair of you! Before we have the police banging on the door.
KNOCK AT DOOR Sorry about that.
We're getting it fixed.
PC Brown.
Stokely Police.
- Your mum or dad in? - Yeah.
No, no, no.
He was but he's gone out.
Know when he'll be back? Tonight? Late tonight? GLASS SMASHES - Is everything all right in there? - Yeah.
Renfield, turn down that TV! I'll come back tomorrow then.
One o'clock OK? Yeah, yeah.
One more thing.
Have you seen this man? No.
- Why? - He's missing.
Well, look, if you do happen to And don't come up until I tell you! - That was a policeman.
- And what did this policeman want? To speak with you.
Something about a missing person.
Oh, that's the, uh - Nothing to do with me.
- That's not what the police think.
- He's coming back tomorrow.
- So? A simple man of the law is no match - for the might of Count Dracula! - That's what I'm worried about.
Five minutes with you and it won't just be a missing persons enquiry.
- It'll be a full on vampire hunt! - Hmm.
Perhaps you're right.
- What do you suggest? - For starters, this place needs a serious makeover.
- A make what? - A makeover.
I'm terribly sorry I couldn't be of any further assistance, officer.
Perhaps I could offer you a cup of blood Tea! Tea! A cup of tea.
Brilliant.
Why don't we just put a big neon sign above the front door - saying "vampires live here"? - Shhh.
Silence! And where do you think you're going? Aaaaaaaargh! Oi! Bring that back.
Total eclipse, tomorrow.
Will, it's me.
Yeah, sorry I couldn't get out.
My dad's being a right pain.
Listen, I've got to be quick.
Can you meet me at the cinema tomorrow? One o'clock.
Don't be late.
I play golf.
I enjoy cooking and holidays in the Lake District.
And Oh, come on, we've been doing this all night.
No, I know this one I think teenagers should be banned from wearing hoodies in shopping centres.
- Perfect.
- Then strung up and drained of every succulent drop of blood in their bodies.
This is hopeless.
And that skull is not helping.
- Or the bottle of blood.
- Or the talking wolf.
I'll be in my basket.
There's still a few hours before the police get here.
I think this place needs brightening up.
Just keep practicing.
Relax, Vladdy.
This is my lucky tie.
One, please.
ID.
Date of birth, 1990.
Yep, that all seems to check out.
This is a train ticket.
With a child's fare.
Next! Graham! The sink's blocked again! Thanks for coming over, Mina.
No, thank you.
I like living in Stokely, but there's not an awful lot to do socially.
Not that that bothers Eric.
He's a complete workaholic these days.
Can you believe he's over at the school now marking papers? - On a Saturday? Well, that's dedication.
- Exactly.
Ha! In your face, vampire scum! Jonathan! I thought we'd agreed, this place is out of bounds! I'm sorry, I just wanted to Wait a minute.
What are you doing here, then? I was, er tidying the weapons away.
Look, I know how difficult this must be for you, Jonno.
But if I can give up slaying, then you can too.
I only wanted a disguise.
A disguise? Well, why didn't you say so?! Let me see.
I'd say you're about a size eight? Oh, yes.
- Are you sure you want all this? - Oh, yeah.
This is great.
That policeman won't suspect a thing.
Must be pretty serious if the police are involved? I'm sure he's innocent.
Dad's only ever brought back rabbits.
Maybe a sheep if it's a special occasion.
- Is that a crime? - Come on, you lot.
Let's get this stuff shifted.
See you, Chloe.
We'll have this place looking lovely in no time.
Look at the size of these CDs! Agadoo.
Line Dancing Legends.
You don't think it's too much, do you? You might be arrested for crimes against cool.
Robin, this is serious.
We could get chased out of town again.
If anyone found out Dad was a - Your dad's what? - He's a You know He's a Come on, Vlad.
If your father's in trouble you can tell me.
I can't keep this a secret any longer.
The truth is, Dad's Hunting? - That's why he's in trouble with the police.
- You could say that.
Line dancing? That's not bad.
Tell that to the people who chased them out of their last village.
Usual thing, I suppose? Illegal traps.
- No licence? - Er yeah, it's horrible.
Foxes, rabbits, pigeons.
He'll eat anything.
Goodness! Well, we're a lot more open-minded here.
I've always fancied trying it out myself.
Maybe we could set up a group, arrange some classes? Great! Dad'll be thrilled.
I'm not sure.
- Try the peach one again.
- I've told you, Dad, I'm not wearing a dress! I just want to look older.
You've got to have something here.
I don't want to know.
Escapology, Jonno.
In our line of work, it's inevitable that we'll be captured and tied up.
Here, check those.
That was cool.
You think that was good? Hand me that straitjacket! Ooh.
You'll never guess what dark secret our Mr Count is hiding.
Chloe told me.
I've always thought there was something unwholesome about him.
- Graham, don't be such a kill-joy.
I think it sounds like fun.
- Fun! In fact, I think I'll give Mina a call.
I'm sure she'd be up for trying something new, even if you're not.
Is that five minutes yet? The dress, Jonno! Take the dress! - It never fails.
- Whatever.
Yes, yes! Yes! Vlad! Sorry, I'm just a bit nervous.
Relax.
Your dad's going to do his innocent breather routine, and Ingrid's safely tucked up in her coffin.
What can go wrong? - Later, losers.
- See ya.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm worrying about nothing.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Ingrid! It's only one o'clock! What's going on? It's the total eclipse, innit.
Didn't you see it on the news? Probably should've mentioned that.
- Yeah.
- Afternoon.
- Oh, hello! Just watching the eclipse.
Right nuisance.
Brings out all the weirdos.
Have we met before? I'll just get my dad.
Er, make yourself comfortable.
It'll be fine.
Dad'll deal with the police.
I'll find Ingrid and - Dad? Dad! - He's got to be here somewhere.
Unless The eclipse! - DOORBELL RINGS - Come in! The door's open! Ow! Ow! Ahhhhhh.
What a nice surprise, Mr Count.
We were just coming to see you.
Really? - Woo-hoo! - Through here, Mina! Now, there's no need to be embarrassed.
Vlad told me all about your dark secret! Oh, he did, did he? So what are you going to do? Spread it around town? Sharpen your pitchforks? - No, we'd like to join you.
- We were just saying only this morning how difficult it is to find exciting things to do in Stokely.
And I've got plenty of other friends I could rope in if we need any new blood! Blood? - Well, umyes.
- How about today? Could we use the castle, Mr Count? There's not much room here.
Yes.
Fine.
This really IS my lucky tie! Very nice.
One ticket for Vampire Vixen 3, please.
- Ow! - Next! - Two tickets to Vampire Vixen 3, please? - Stop stressing, Vlad.
Stop stressing?! There's a policeman upstairs and two fully-grown vampires running loose in Stokely.
You don't know that.
Your dad might have been fried to a crisp by now.
Sorry.
At least it can't get any worse.
- Where did you get that hat, Renfield? - It was a reward for good service.
Renfield! Master told me to burn it, but I quite like it.
Oh, no, he's really gone and done it now! Right, I'm gonna find Dad.
Robin, stall the policeman.
Renfield, get rid of that hat and have the day off! Day off? Day off.
One, please.
- Certainly, miss.
That's £5.
30.
- What? £5.
30.
Yep, thank you.
Enjoy the film.
Thank you.
Magazine, Madam? Vampire Vixen 3?! You've got to be kidding.
We can go if you want.
- Hi, Ingrid! - Great! Don't mind if we sit here, do you? Don't fancy yours much.
He won't be long.
Trying to find his glasses.
Are you sure we haven't met? April 2005.
You reported seeing a UFO landing in Stokely Wood.
Oh, yeah.
That.
Had all the emergency services out at three AM.
- Well, I definitely saw something.
- Not a single shred of evidence.
Exactly! No evidence that there wasn't a UFO.
RINGING - Hello.
- Mina, Mina! Listen, it's me.
I'm in a spot of bother.
Eric, I can't talk now, I'm on my way up to the castle - with Elizabeth and Mr Count.
- No, no, no! Wait! Don't go to the castle.
What d'you mean? Look, we've been through this before.
I'll see you later.
No Mina! Wait! Mina! Mina, you're in danger! Arrghhhhh! CREAKING Hello? Hello? Is anybody home? - SPOOKY FEMALE VOICE: - Yes, can I help you? My car's broken down in the storm.
I need to call for help.
Yes, come inside.
You're justin time.
- In time for what? - For dinner! Why don't they just bite him and get it over with? They're so pathetic! I dunno.
I think they're pretty hot! Sorry, but I do.
I'd love to go out with a vampire.
Attractive and deadly.
- What a great combination! - Shhhhh! Off we go, then! Mr Count, can I have a word? I'm on to you! There are rules and laws in this country that must be abided by.
Just exactly what are you insinuating? You can't just go around hunting and killing as you please.
Ready, Mr Count? Yes, of course.
We'll see about that.
- More tea? - No.
But you can tell me where the toilet is.
Could you hold it just a bit longer? I'm sure they won't be Right.
Mr Branagh.
Have you seen my dad? You've just missed him.
He took off.
- Feeling guilty, I suppose.
- What? It's barbaric, that's what it is.
Bloodsports like that might be acceptable in Transylvania, - but not here.
- Look, you don't understand! So we come from Transylvania and live in a spooky old castle.
But that doesn't mean we're vampires! Mr Branagh? I just thought he was hunting without a licence.
- Ah.
- Good grief! Elizabeth! - I've got to save her! - Wait! Come back! It's in here.
There's a light in here somewhere, you've just got to Ah.
Sierra Oscar from 280 requesting immediate back-up.
I repeat, immediate back-up.
CRACKLY VOICE ON RADIO Will? Did you mean what you said? About going out with a vampire? Yeah, of course.
Why? - There's something you should know about me.
- Mmmm? - I'm a vampire.
- Oh, OK.
No.
Really.
I am a vampire.
I believe you.
CRASHES - Aaargh! - Aaargh! - Aaargh! - Where are you going? - As far away from you as I can get! Ay ay.
Looks like trouble! They fight.
Then they kiss.
What's that about? Women.
Come on.
Stop her! She's biting him, she's a vampire! Of course she is, it's a vampire film! No, her! Come on you, out! They're vampires! D'you hear me?! Vampires! I'm coming, Elizabeth! Wait for me! I'm a professional! LINE-DANCING MUSIC Officer! Arrest thatthat vampire! Graham! Your making a spectacle of yourself.
Oh, no.
I've seen that look before.
Where is he? Get away from him, Mina! Run! He's a vampire! You'll never change.
I don't know why I believed you ever would.
Who are you people? That's my dad.
Ah.
Makes sense.
UFOs.
Vampires.
I can see where you get it.
For your information, this man has single-handedly caught one of the most dangerous criminals in Britain.
A man we've been after for years.
You should be proud.
Thanks to your dad, we can all sleep safely in our beds tonight.
He's a hero.
Hero? - I'm telling you, Dad, she was biting him right there! - On the neck? - No, in the cinema! - The vampire arrogance of it! No question about it Jonno, they're getting out of control.
- We've got to do something.
- I intend to.
Attacking a slayer is one thing.
But preying on the blood of innocents is a different matter.
- So it's war.
- And I know whose side I'd rather be on.
Jonno, load the guns.
Good shot.
You've disobeyed me, Ingrid.
I am veryvery angry.
- What's that on your collar? - Nothing.
Blood! Human blood.
So? I've bitten a breather.
I guess that makes me the only real vampire in this castle after all.
Never underestimate the Prince of Darkness.
Mr Count! What a pleasant surprise.
Yours, I believe? Of course.
Thank you.
Sorry for leaving in such a rush.
Can I offer you a cup of tea? A bite to eat? Wellif you insist.
Come on in.