Big City Greens (2018) s02e12 Episode Script

[theme song plays]
One, two
One, two, three, four ♪
[vocalizing]
[chicken clucks]
[playing classical violin flawlessly]
Huh. That's a weird ending.
But I ain't no Stravinsky!
-[knock on door]
-[Vasquez] Master Remy.
You have a visitor. Shall I turn him away?
Hi, Remy! It's me!
It's me Cricket! I'm the visitor!
It's OK, Vasquez. Cricket's fine!
Yeah, Vasquez, Remy says it's OK!
'Cause we're fwends!
-Heh heh.
-Heh heh.
Master Cricket, it's important that Remy
is prepared for
his violin recital tonight.
[laughs] Oh, relax! He sounds great!
In fact, why don't we take a break
and roll on down to Burger Clown?
This baby boy needs a burgie!
Uh, actually, Cricket,
I really have to keep practicing.
Aw, come on, it won't take that long!
Just a couple of burgers, some fries.
Or you can skip the fries
if you're not a fry guy.
[intense] Cricket, you don't understand.
Making sure I play perfectly
at the recital
is the key to my entire future!
What's a recital today
got to do with the future, Remy?
Vasquez, bring out the book.
Right away!
The book? What the heck
are you talking about?
Here you are, Master Remy.
Behold! The book of all things Remy!
This book has every major event
in my life planned out.
And tonight's recital is the key moment
to the rest of my future.
You see, in my plan,
I'll ace tonight's recital,
and get first chair
-in the Youth Metropolitan Orchestra!
-[applause]
Being first chair
will look great on my résumé.
And years later, it'll help me
get into the prestigious
Big City University!
There I'll make connections
with members of high society!
So I said to the gentleman,
"This 17th-century painting isn't damaged,
it's baroque!" [laughing]
-[laughter]
-[man] Good one.
[Remy] I'll graduate with seven degrees,
and become a world-class surgeon.
And celebrity chef!
[diners] Whoa!
After a successful career,
I'll move into politics
and run for mayor of Big City!
Now that I'm mayor, smiles are money!
[ding]
From there, I'll use my fame and fortune
to start my own business.
One that I have quite the passion for.
My own ranch dressing!
Finally, I'll fade away
a happy salad dressing mogul.
Blech.
November 12, 2094, 5:22 p.m.
Your parents really have your life
all planned out, huh?
-Oh, no, I did this!
-No kiddin'.
I like to know what's coming next.
Now sorry, Cricket,
but I gotta get back to practicing.
This single sheet of music
will determine my future!
Bah!
Uh, so what're these
other sheets gonna do?
What? There's more?
I've only practiced the first page,
and the recital's tonight!
My entire life is ruined!
Whoa there, buddy, take it easy!
Aaaah!
Fight the feelings, Remy!
Fight the feelings!
Oh, geez, he's spiraling.
Master Remy! What can I do to help?
Freak out with me!
Yes, sir!
Aaaaaah!
Oh, man! Everyone's broken!
Fight the feelings! Fight the fear!
-Aah!
-There you go, buddy.
Easy, easy. All right, it's nighttime now.
-There we go. Just relax.
-[Remy panting softly]
Now, without freaking out,
let's consider the possibilities.
I mean, really, what's the worst
that could happen tonight?
The worst that could happen?
[playing poorly]
Fantastic performance, young man!
Oh, really?
Ha ha! Nope!
[grunting] Whew!
[Remy] Instead of getting first chair,
I'll get last chair!
[whimpering]
I'll be rejected from Big City University!
And the only college that'll accept me
will be Clown College!
-[clowns laughing]
-[beep beep]
Despite a faulty start,
I could still run for mayor,
but I'll have some tough competition.
And even if I gain traction in the polls,
I'll get demolished in the debate.
I think we should weduce taxes.
[all] Awwwww!
After I lose the election,
I'll wind up completely without options.
[sighs] Ranch,
you're the only friend I need.
Ptew!
[chugging, groans]
-I'll end up alone
-[thunder]
in the gutter!
Remy! Remy, Remy, Remy!
-Snap out of it!
-Aah!
Buddy, you are worrying
too much about the future!
You should be like me!
I've never thought about it, even once!
You've never thought about the future?
How is that even possible?
-Mm-mmmh.
-Well, fine!
If you've never thought of the future,
I challenge you to do exactly that.
Try picturing yourself 20 years from now.
What do you think it's gonna be like?
Hmm! Probably amazing.
In the future, everything
will be futuristic!
And of course, I'll be all grown up!
[yawns] Good morning, future Big City!
I'll still be living at home
since Dad couldn't bear to see me go.
-Morning, family!
-Morning, son!
-I made you breakfast!
-Thanks, Dad!
So when are you moving out, son?
-Never!
-Well, OK!
Hey, Gramma! Likin' the new look!
Thanks, boy! I finally
decided to cut the cord
and upload my consciousness to the cloud!
Best decision I ever made.
-[static crackles]
-[Officer Keys] Hello?
Can anybody hear me
in this cyberspace nightmare?
-Hello?
-[static crackles]
It's still a bit buggy,
but I'm hoping
they'll upload a patch soon.
Hey, any of you guys
seen Phoenix this morning?
-Oh, Phoenix!
-[barking]
Oh, there ya are, girl!
Hi, Phoenix! Hi, Phoenix Junior.
Hi, Phoenix Junior Junior.
Hi, Two-For-One!
Man, buying that clone machine
was the best thing I've ever done.
[barking]
[automated voice] Incoming transmission.
Oh, heya, future Tilly! What's new?
Hello, Cricket. Just checking in.
I've gone to live with the otters!
They've recently promoted me
to be their queen.
-[rock clacking]
-Ahhh!
My royal servants and I bid you adieu!
I always knew she'd go far.
Ha ha, classic future Tilly.
None of this has anything
to do with your life plans!
What're you gonna do for money?
Eh, probably the same ol' same ol'
Well, off to work! Bye, family!
[Cricket] I bet I'll still be
working over at Big Coffee!
[Remy] Hmph!
By then, Gloria will own the place!
Break time is over, Cricket Green!
Get back to work!
Ew, you're right!
Well, in that case,
I'll be a movie stunt guy!
[Remy] I dunno, Cricket,
stunts are pretty dangerous.
A lot can go wrong!
Aaaah!
[Cricket] Oh! Um
I could a reputable pyrotechnics salesman!
I definitely don't sell illegal fireworks.
Wink!
[Remy] And what if that
blows up in your face?
[Cricket] Oh, no, uh, uh
Then I'll be a banker!
Yeah, that's nice and safe.
[Remy] Now you're just
telling me what I want to hear!
Admit it, you don't know
the first thing about banking!
Aah! You're right!
[Remy] No plan, no options!
You're gonna end up
in the gutter with me!
Uh, I guess I've never
really thought about it before.
See? That's exactly the problem, Cricket!
You don't think about your future,
and how what you do now affects it!
Who knows how many wrong decisions
you've already made in your life?
Oh, my gosh, you're right!
The future is chaos! We're all doomed!
And what about my future?
Without Master Remy, I'll have to go back
to working in the special forces.
-[crunch]
-Gah! Uuhh
[sighs]
Life just wouldn't have the same spice.
[clock chimes]
Master Remy, it's time to go
to your violin recital.
Well I guess it's time
to face the music.
-[violin panting]
-Huh?
Hey! What are you lookin' at?
[stuttering] What?
[Cricket] Hey, buddy, you doing OK?
You don't look so good.
[babbling]
[Vasquez] Don't worry, Master Remy.
We can pull over
if you're feeling carsick.
[chorus, with ominous violins]
Remy! Remy! Not so ready! ♪
Doomed! Doomed! ♪
Your future's down the tubes! ♪
What will the world think ♪
When they realize you stink? ♪
Your life, you have spoiled it ♪
Flushed down the toilet ♪
Aaaaah! Oof!
[Violin King] Remy Remington.
You've completely ruined your future.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Please! I'm sorry! I just goofed up!
Well, now you can goof up all you want
in the Sea of Failure!
Aaaaaah!
Aah! No! No! Nooo!
No! No! No!
Remy! Remy! We're here.
[playing perfectly]
If this is the competition, Remy's doomed.
-Ah, well done, Kayla, well done!
-[applause]
Now our next performer is
Remy Remington!
Aah! I can't look.
Tell me when it's over, Vasquez!
[strained] Yes, sir.
[applause and cheers]
[making nervous noises]
[spotlight clicks on loudly]
[gulp]
[playing flawlessly]
Hey! The first part's
sounding pretty good.
-[stops playing]
-Uhhh
Uh-oh. He must be at the part
he doesn't know!
What's he gonna do?
-Mmm mmm mmm.
-[strings screeching]
[man coughs]
[playing silly tune]
This is bad.
So bad.
[plucks string]
-[bow and violin thud]
-[panting]
-[Cricket] Aaand he's gone.
-[door slams]
-Master Remy?
-Remy! Ooohhh.
[Vasquez] Remy?
[burp]
Heya, buddy, whatcha doing?
Just getting a head start
on my inevitable future.
Oh, Ranch, take me away!
Mr. Remington? You left so quickly,
I didn't get to tell you the good news!
I made first chair?
What? No. You got, um
third chair!
Third chair? What does that mean?
Well, it means you got third chair.
OK, Remy, here's the plan.
We go where nobody knows our names.
Start fresh in a new town.
I know guys in Witness Protection,
Master Remy.
We can get you a new life
-like that.
-[snaps]
Come on, let's hit the road!
Come on, Master Remy!
-[Remy] Guys, wait!
-[both] Huh?
I I don't feel bad about this.
I think it's gonna be OK.
I had this moment built up
in my head so much
that reality actually seems pretty tame.
So I'm not the best,
but I'm not the worst, either.
And that's OK!
Yeah, I guess the future's
kind of a surprise, huh, Remy?
Ain't that the truth.
Yeah, and that actually makes
the future kind of exciting.
I mean, who knows where we'll end up?
Yeah, who knows?
These new bodies are great!
-They sure are!
-[static crackles]
Boy, you need to get your own body! Now!
Well, family, I've been mulling
it over for 15 years now,
and I've decided today is the day,
the Greens are getting smartphones!
-Whoa-ho!
-What?
Does this mean we're rich?
We are rich in love.
And also there's a sale.
That's right! Big Tech's new Fun Fons
are perfect for families.
These phones are
practically indestructible!
Lookin' at you, kid.
-[thunk]
-Ha!
Wowee! A phone for Tilly!
[female voice] Hello, Tyler. I am Agatha.
How are you doing today?
Well, I'm doing just fine.
But I'm more worried about you, Agatha.
How do you fit in such a tiny device?
[gasps] Your essence is
imprisoned within this phone.
The temperature outside is 72 degrees.
Don't worry, Agatha.
I promise I will free you!
Now what can old Cricket
get up to with this?
Ha ha! I know!
-[phone rings]
-Hello?
Hello! My name is Bill Green,
uh Burgshire! Heh heh, yeah.
And I would like to order 91 lattes
delivered to 123 Stinky Street.
Wait a minute, is this Cricket?
[Cricket] OK, thank you, goodbye!
Ha ha! Got her good.
[Bill] Wow, look
at all these li'l buttons.
-[ringing]
-Ooh, my first phone call!
-[beep]
-Hello?
[on speakerphone] Hey, Mr. Green?
This is Jerry down at the autobody.
Heh, speakerphone.
I'm just callin' to let
you know your car's ready.
You know, the one your mom crashed?
What's this now?
Yeah, it's actually
been ready for a while.
This is like the tenth time
I've called you.
OK, yes! Have a lovely day, bye!
Heh heh, spam calls, right?
Bill Green, how could you?
I went to all that trouble
to get my license back,
and now I find out you've
been keeping my car from me?
It's just I still don't know
if I'm comfortable with you driving.
Fool's words! I'm an excellent driver!
Oh! Well, if that's true,
you should drive for Swyft!
-Swyft? Whazzat?
-It's this!
Swyft is a smartphone app
where you can make money
by driving folks around,
and if you do well,
they'll leave you a five-star rating!
I will do exactly that!
Get ready to eat your words, Billy boy.
I'm off to prove
that I am an excellent driver.
-Uh, wait, hey!
-[man] Jerry here!
Just letting you know you never
actually hung up the phone.
'Kay, thank you, Jerry!
[engine starts]
Ahhh good to have you back.
Now just gotta sign up for Swyft.
-Hey, look at that.
-[chime]
Five stars, here I come.
Uh-huh, yeah. OK, my ride just got here.
Yeah, be there soon.
Oh. Actually, my driver's
this little old lady.
I'm gonna be late.
We'll see about that.
I, uh Aaah!
Aah! Ohh! Aaah!
You need a mint or anything?
I got, uh, wintergreen or cinnamon.
-Aaaah!
-What's wrong?
Did I miss a turn?
Yeah, these guys think they own the road.
-[whimpering]
-So how long you been in Big City?
-[screaming]
-Heh heh, yeah, I hear that.
-Aah! [panting]
-Have a good day!
And don't forget to gimme five stars!
[chimes]
-[tires screech]
-Waaah!
-Whoa ho ho ho!
-[chimes]
-Wow.
-[screaming]
Heh, all in a day's work.
[whistling] Hm?
[grunts]
Hey, Gloria, get any wacky orders today?
Oh, Cricket!
Yeah, a Mr. Greenburgshire called
and asked for 91 piping hot lattes!
Can you believe it?
[snickers] Wow, such a big order!
But I gotta go on my mandatory break now,
so you have to fill it.
Ha! What? No, no, that's not what I--
They better be done when I come back!
Ninety-one lattes. Huh.
Not a bad first day.
Now let's see all those five-star ratings.
What? One star?
Was Was Bill right? Am I a bad driver?
Rats. Guess it's time
to play by the rules.
-[alarm ringing]
-[both laughing]
Coast is clear.
We can take off these disguises.
Nice crime back there, Bella.
The only thing I love more than crime
is you.
And the only thing
I love more than you, is us.
-[smooching]
-[getaway driver] C'mon, guys!
I'm sick and tired
of being your third wheel,
and literal wheels! I'm out!
Our getaway got away!
Don't worry, babe, I called a Swyft.
Ugh, I love your mind.
[Gramma] Pick up for Bella and Bash?
[Bash] Yeah-huh.
Don't worry, folks,
I'll getcha where ya need to go.
Nice and slow.
-[police sirens]
-Listen, we don't care how you do it.
-Just get us outta here!
-Drive, lady!
Wha-- Really? Now you're talkin'!
[Bella and Bash] Whoa!
-Aah!
-Whoo hoo hoo!
-[Bella] This is fun!
-[Bash] Yeah!
-[Bella] Whoo!
-[horns honking]
Ha ha! Yeah!
-Oof!
-Oof!
Huh, not bad, old lady.
You just earned yourself
a five-star rating.
Wow! Thanks!
I knew I was a good driver!
You know, we actually
have a few more errands to run
and plenty of stars to give.
More stars? Let's get started!
[Tilly] Still in there, Agatha?
[Agatha] I'm sorry,
Tammy, I didn't get that.
Now, I don't know how your soul
got trapped in this phone.
But I will break you out!
[inhales deeply]
Yaaaah!
Sorry, Tulip, I couldn't
find anything for "Aaaaah."
Curse you, Big Tech!
Don't worry, Agatha.
I am not giving up on you.
[giggling]
You're looking at
a five-star driver, Billy boy!
Ma! Knock! I don't have my socks on!
I'm indecent!
How's it feel to be wrong, huh?
It's eating you up inside, isn't it?
I'm just surprised you found someone
who puts up with your crazy driving.
I'll have you know that my riders
don't just put up with my driving,
they love it.
-[phone chimes]
-Hm?
Ah, there they are now.
Hey, you should tag along.
Then you can see for yourself
just how good a driver I am.
Fine, maybe I will!
Just let me put my socks on first.
I don't know how I'm gonna
get you outta there, Agatha.
I've tried everything!
I found six results
for trees in your area.
Don't worry, I'll figure something out.
[grunts]
Hey, uh, yeah,
I'm tired of using this crane.
Too tired to even turn off the crane.
Don't touch the crane, 'kay?
Hm. That'll do.
[Cricket] Almost there. Ninety-one!
Finally done.
Ahhh, what a good break. How's it going?
Oh, my gosh, you actually did it.
I mean, time to deliver them!
123 Stinky Street is 20 blocks away.
What? That's not true!
That's not even a real address!
Oh, it's not? But how would you know that?
Unless this order is some sort of prank.
123 Stinky Street, huh?
Great! See you when it's done!
OK.
[alarm ringing]
Got a little dirty, but we made out clean.
Clean or dirty, I love you either way.
-Oh, yeah?
-You know I do.
-I know you love dirt.
-I know you know I do.
[both] Ride's here!
All, right, Alice, let's go.
Who is this?
Where are my manners? Bill, Bella, Bash.
Bella, Bash, Bill. Bash, Bill, Bella.
Ohp! Hey, just getting a news alert
on my smartphone.
Not sure how to, uh Oh, it's playing.
We're getting reports
of two passionate criminals
robbing banks across Big City!
If you see this double trouble duo,
alert authorities immediately!
Sheesh. Better keep
an eye out for-- [gasps]
Ma, all this time, you've been driving
around criminals!
Is this true?
[grunts] Hey!
Thanks for the ride!
[grunt] I can't get the other one out!
We've got no time! Drive!
Hey! That's my car! And my son!
Ahhh, what a beautiful day!
And the perfect place for a lean.
-[crunch]
-Wow! That's no good!
Officer Keys! You gotta
go after those criminals!
They have my son!
Well, gosh I'd love to,
but my driving foot has a flat!
Then I'll drive.
[screech]
Hey, babe, can I drive?
Sure thing, babe, take the wheel.
Wow, babe, your hair smells so nice today.
I'm so uncomfortable!
[police siren]
Ugh, they're gaining on us!
How could I be so dumb?
I put my son in danger
all because I wanted a five-star rating!
Look, we've all done
crazy things for stars.
I mean, that's the only reason I'm a cop!
-Huh?
-Unh!
What a shame. All out of water bottles.
Maybe we should just pull over.
[both] Shut up!
Come on, old lady,
don't you have anything
besides expired mints?
Oh!
[laughs] Yah!
-Yaah!
-Aah!
What are you doing? We're gonna lose 'em!
And you're headed right toward
the Big City Ramp Museum!
[Officer Keys] Whoa!
Oof!
[wild scream]
[Officer Keys] Whoa!
Time to punch it, babe. You ready?
[both] Footsie!
[police siren]
[Tilly] OK, Agatha, just stay calm.
You'll soon be free of your phone prison!
I'm sorry, Toolbox,
I didn't quite get that.
Just let me do this for you!
[grunting and gasping]
I can't believe that yet again
my actions have had consequences!
-[phone ringing]
-Hmm?
Uh-- Uh-- Whoa!
Uh h-hello?
[Gloria with British accent]
Hello, this is Mrs. Greenburgshire.
I'm just letting you know
we won't be needing those lattes anymore
because Mr. Greenburgshire just got
dunked on, boi!
[Cricket] G-- Gloria?
How long have you known?
[chuckles]
The whole time.
Byeeeee!
[police siren]
They won't stop! What are we gonna do?
-Watch this!
-Whoa!
-Yeah!
-[all screaming]
Welp, today can't get any worse.
Never mind. It can.
Whoa-ohh!
-Agatha, be free!
-Aaah!
Woo-hoo! Oh, my.
Oof! Freedom!
Come on, babe! Let's get outta here!
-Huh?
-Huh?
Oh, hey, there. Need a lift?
Bella! Please, baby, don't leave me!
Bash! We've never been this far apart!
Remember me!
[straining]
OK! I think it's about time
you two got a room
in prison.
Oh, hey, Mrs. Green!
Great driving back there!
See, Bill? A fan of my driving
who's not a criminal!
Actually, make that two non-criminals.
Aww, really?
Your driving style's not for everyone.
But it sure saved my bacon back there.
Excuse me. Does this
extremely wet boy belong to you?
Oh, yep, I'll take that.
Well, whaddya say we head home--
Oh! Tilly, you're here.
Can't talk. Checking something.
[gasps] Agatha!
Thank you, Tilly.
You're the only one
who cared about meeee
Fly on, you crazy angel.
You're free!
That phone cost me $200.
I've got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got bit by 100 flies ♪
I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by a dog ♪
Licked by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my legs ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters in seven and ten ♪
And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪