Big Nate (2022) s02e12 Episode Script

[dramatic music]
[bugs buzzing]
- So my recent trial run
for Rackleff's
Inaugural Bug Olympics
did not go as planned.
We had the 50-inch dash
- [screaming]
- Number two pencil toss.
- [groans]
- But the Matchstick
Relay Races I was sure
were destined for glory.
[bugs screaming]
- Get 'em off! Get 'em off!
- My dad's obviously
a little upset about this.
- I'm freaking out!
- Okay, he's a lot upset.
Hey, don't worry, Pops.
I'll de-pestify us in no time.
- Oh, no, you don't.
No, no, no, bad Nate.
- "Squash-No-More?"
What's that,
some sort of anti-gourd group?
[chuckles] That's a joke
for the vegetarians.
- Good show.
- It's a service
to safely relocate bugs
without exterminating them.
- Is exterminating them
really that bad
if they don't have a brain
or a heart?
- Nate, you brought
these things into our home,
so you have to take
some responsibility here.
I need you to help pay
for their humane removal.
- Ugh, fine.
What's this Squash-No-More
thing gonna run me,
like, 10, 15 bucks,
something like that?
- $3,000.
- We're gonna have
to get creative here.
[upbeat music]
- Don't want to go
to school today ♪
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪
Detention again ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- Ah, Zora's
Famous Pierogi Day.
My favorite lunch of the month,
at least when you compare it
to Zora's
Vegetarian Surprise
- [roars]
- [screams]
- Zora's
Pescatarian Surprise
- Aah!
- Or Zora's Vermin Surprise.
[both scream]
- Who brought
all these hamsters here?
Aww, look how cute they are!
[giggling]
- Zora's pierogies
almost make up
for me having
to join the workforce.
- You know, jobs aren't
that bad, Nate.
- [laughs] Oh, Francis,
you corporate stooge.
- Too bad you can't get paid
to eat Zora's pierogies, brah.
- [thickly] Tell me about it.
I could eat, like,
ten more of these bad boys.
- [burps] I snuck a few extra
in my water cup.
Look, a couple stragglers.
Mmm, moist.
- Clever, but not
as clever as me.
- You're enjoying the lunch,
children?
all: Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my Bubbe would be
so happy, for she inspired Zora
to make delicious pierogies.
She taught me treasured
family pierogi recipe
and also how to use hammer
to fight angry mole rat.
Please excuse me,
as next batch requires
attention.
Do not tell others.
Here is extra for you.
[all clamoring and screaming]
[bugs chattering]
- All right, guys.
Since we're gonna be
living together for now,
we need to set up
some ground rules.
I shower at 8:00 a.m.
Lights out at 9:00.
If you want to borrow
my clothes, just ask first.
If you finish any condiments,
replace them yourself.
And lastly, never--
I repeat, never touch
the Fabergé egg in my room.
It was my Pop Pop's,
and he was a very special man.
Huh? Well, good talk, guys.
[bell rings]
[soft tense music]
♪
- [grunts] Huh? Um--
- We hear you got some 'rogies.
- Uh, some what?
- [whispers indistinctly]
- Oh, ha ha, Zora's piero--
- Shh!
- Be cool, man.
'Rogies are worth
a fortune outside of school.
And word is, you have
a pipeline to the source.
So what do you want
for 'em, huh?
Candy? Homework help? Cash?
- Well, how much you got?
Cook up a few more batches
of these bad boys,
sling 'em to desperate kids,
and my dad can consider
our little bug problem
paid for.
- You're going to cook
Zora's pierogies and sell them?
- Yep.
- Uh, what about
that tiny little problem called
"not knowing the recipe"?
- [scoffs] Silly Francis,
I won't be making them.
[frog croaks]
- Oh, I don't know.
I come to this country
to feed hungry schoolchildren,
not to turn profit.
- But this is about so much
more than the money, Zora.
You'd be sharing Bubbe's recipe
with more hungry people
than ever before.
- Oh, so many hungry mouths,
all fed by Zora.
All right.
- Yes!
- I will turn capitalist
and help.
But I must keep cafeteria job,
which means PS 38 kitchen
will not work for cooking.
- Not a problem.
I know a kitchen
that's barely ever used.
- Hey, Nate.
Hey, PS 38 cafeteria lady.
Huh? Nate, why is PS 38's
cafeteria lady here?
- Oh. [chuckles]
Zora's my friend, Dad.
- Work friend.
- We launched
a business together.
- Is your business called
"Let's Feed the Bugs
in Our House Dinner"?
- Please relax, Dad.
With Zora's help,
we'll have enough cash to get
rid of these guys pronto.
- Hmm, I see you have many
large bugs in your kitchen.
I have solution.
[both gasp]
- What are you doing?
- In Koheshesberg,
cockroach is pleasing snack.
[bugs screeching]
Mmm.
[bugs squeal]
- Okay, that's enough.
- I should have offered
to you first as homeowner?
- No, nobody dies
in my kitchen.
Kindly take
this crime-filled operation
and hit the road.
- Hit the road, huh?
- Ta-dog!
- Dare I ask why you have this?
- As a young boy, I dreamed
of owning an RV
that looked like a hot dog.
- Yeah, that tracks.
- She is so beautiful.
Oh, state-of-art
miniature icebox with door,
built-in oven
for burnishing viscera,
bone knives for filleting
woodland creatures!
- We can sell to customers
right out of this window here!
- How much is asking price?
- For you, my little chica,
just fill her up before
you bring her back, huh?
- Oh! Very generous.
- Holy pierogi!
This truck is amazing!
- Oh!
- Zora, my friend,
we've got ourselves
a food truck.
- Order up, Chefs!
- Thanks, Chef!
[Peter Bjorn and John's
"Young Folks"]
- Okay, people, look alive!
We got two potato, two cheese,
three cheese and potato,
one plain.
- Got it, Chef.
[crowd cheering]
- All right, all right.
Hang tight, everyone!
You'll all get your pierogies.
Just, uh, get out those wallets
and enjoy some pleasing music
from Zora's home country.
- [inhales]
[discordant music]
[all groan]
- Nate, Zora,
you've got yourself a hit here!
With all these kids eating out
of the truck,
we don't even need
to keep the cafeteria!
- We don't need cafeteria?
- Nope! [chuckles]
- Ha! You hear that, Zora?
Now we can focus all our energy
on the truck.
- Yes, but, uh, of course,
this is wonderful.
- Day one, and practically
all of Rackleff is here.
My dad can consider those bugs
good as guh-guh-guh-guh-gone.
- [whistles]
Aah!
- [clears throat]
- All right, Mr. Beetle.
You already broke
rule number one.
Since I'm a nice roommate,
I'm gonna let this slide.
But rules are rules.
- [whines]
- Be free, Mr. Beetle. Free!
- [coos]
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
[rhythmic rave music]
[serene music]
- [squeaks]
[chirrups, snickers]
- Aah!
[bugs squeal, chitter]
[dramatic music]
- Nolan Vaughn,
the board has summoned you here
because one of
those delinquents from PS 38
is becoming, shall we say,
troublesome.
- His name is Nate Wright,
and his food truck is pulling
students out of our cafeteria!
- A cafeteria
that is a major source
of revenue for us.
- You do want
that equestrian center
stocked with genetically
modified Clydesdales,
don't you, Nolan?
- Oh, you know I do.
So what's the play?
- Well, that should
do the trick.
You guys stay on your side.
I stay on mine.
Everybody's happy.
Now let's get some lunch.
[bugs laugh]
Ugh, I'm such a bozo.
- [chitters]
- [pants]
[phone beeping]
Pick up, pick up, pick up!
[Baltimora's "Tarzan Boy"]
[phone beeps]
- Excuse me, children.
Duty calls!
- Butterflies are
very exciting.
- Let me take a selfie ♪
[kids cheering]
[upbeat pop music]
[Peter Bjorn and John's
"Young Folks"]
- Potatoes ready, Chef.
- Thank you, Chef!
For the Chef, Chef.
- Chef, Chef!
- Pounding, Chef.
- Grating, Chef.
[gasps] Oh, no, Chef!
- Chef!
All right, Chefs.
We open for lunch
in three, two--
one?
- Uh, where is everyone, Chef?
- [laughs] Ah!
Aah!
- Maybe the whole town
was wiped out
by a sudden tragic
molasses flood, Chef?
- Nope. Way, way worse, Chef.
[tense music]
- Have a delicious day!
- Nolan!
- Pierogies!
Steaming hot pierogies!
Half the price of Nate Wright's
and double the deliciousness.
You, sir.
- Me?
- Would you like to try one?
- Well, I do like cheap food.
- Of course you do.
- Wow. Thanks, young man!
- What do you think
you're doing?
- What's the matter, Natey-poo?
Afraid of a little competish?
Worried you can't compete
in our little tug-o-war?
Do fluorescent sea creatures
give you night terrors, hmm?
Do they?
- [growls]
- Whoa! Easy there, fella.
- [grumbles]
- Hey, Nate.
Don't get mad, man.
Get even.
[playful piano music]
- So they just moved in
with no warning?
- Well, uh, not--not quite.
Uh, Nate brought them in
and fed them a lot.
And now they won't leave.
- Oh dear.
And you've tried pesticide?
- No, I haven't.
- I see.
What about
a Fipronil powder bomb?
Highly effective.
- Nope, not that either.
- What about
Septritide butoxide?
- Mm-mm.
- Uh, how 'bout
a large beek-heeled clog?
- Mm-mm.
- Deer blood?
- Mm-mm.
- Uh, essence of corn?
- No, no, no.
And did you say "deer blood"?
- That one is a tad risky.
- Look, I don't wanna harm
the bugs.
I just want them out.
- Aah!
- Well, why didn't you say so?
We'll just have
to reason with them.
Fortunately,
I speak fluent bug.
Ooh!
Kah-kah-kah-kah-kah!
Sh'ksh.
Sha-la, sha-la-la, sha-la-la.
Cluck, cluck, cluckity, cluck!
Dee-dah, dee-dih, dee-dih,
dee-dih, dee-dih, dee-dee.
Goo!
- [whistles]
- There, that should
take care of--
[rumbling]
Aah!
- How are we supposed
to compete with this?
- The business plan
doesn't even make any sense.
How can they turn a profit?
- It's like all they care about
is forcing us to shut up shop.
- All right, well,
I guess we just need
to cut our prices too.
- We're barely above water
as is, Nate.
- Oh. [laughs]
Uh, not for long.
[folk music]
- Rise, potato.
Be free for Zora.
Hello, Nate.
Did you come to join Zora
for potato coaxing?
- Coaxing ingredients
is a thing of the past, Zora,
and something you don't have
to worry about anymore!
- [gasps] But Zora was
not worried, Nate.
- Okay, maybe not, but
Jefferson is kicking our butts.
And if there's anything
I've learned from searching
the word "business"
on the Internet,
it's that we have
to use canned potatoes.
- But--but Nate--
- Canned potatoes,
or we're going out
of business, okay?
- Okay, I understand.
You can stay in the
ground, potatoes.
- By the way, your mole
looks really nice today.
[customers chattering]
Back in business, baby!
Chopping our prices in half
and using these canned potatoes
totally worked!
- I do not think this is made
from real potato, Nate.
- [laughs]
- Ah.
No time to be precious, Z.
The people are hungry,
and they want your 'rogies!
- [sadly] Oh.
Forgive me, Bubbe.
[whirring]
- Uh, does anyone else
hear that?
[customers clamor excitedly]
[Richard Wagner's
"Ride of the Valkyries"]
- Uh, are those--
all: Drones!
- Get down! Everyone, get down!
♪
- Woo-hoo-hoo! Yeah, baby!
- Sick of waiting
in Nate Wright's dumb lines?
Not anymore.
Call up
Jefferson's Pierogi Drones!
Free delivery, food on the go!
[customers cheering]
- Yeah!
- Aah!
[pants]
This means war!
[grumbling]
[dramatic western music]
[breathes deeply]
Attention,
Rackleff pierogi fiends!
Nate Wright here
with some important changes
to our brand!
all: Huh?
- Hit it, guys.
[bright dance music]
Introducing Zora's
brand-new Unicorn Pierogis!
- Whoa!
- That's so cool!
- Our signature pierogi dowsed
in every flavor of icing
that ever existed.
Can you say,
"Yummy, yummy, in my tummy"?
- Nate, Bubbe's recipe
has no unicorns.
There is no flavor icing.
It is simple pierogi.
- No, no, no. Trust me, Zora.
This is all the rage these
days--very influencer-friendly.
Uh, okay, okay.
Next up,
our Chicken and Waffle-rogi,
made with real maple syrup
flavor chunks!
- Wait, waffles? No!
No waffles!
- Don't worry so much.
This is gonna make us huge.
- No!
- We've got charcoal-infused
cold brew, meatless wheatgrass,
grilled cheese,
and much, much more!
- [whimpers]
[crowd cheering]
- I'll take
ten grilled cheeses.
- I want a unicorn one, Mom!
- Gimme ten of the vegan,
please.
Uh, what?
- [chuckles]
Isn't this amazing?
- [laughs uneasily]
- [gasps] My house.
[bug chitters]
- Sweet Tallahassee Moses.
You really should have
called a professional.
- I thought I did. Gah!
Good heavens, it's penetrating
the floorboard.
Pop Pop's Fabergé egg!
- Come back to your old job?
But your food truck
is doing so well!
I tried the unicorn pierogi.
It didn't taste very good,
but I got this fun photo.
Nice, right?
- Bubbe's pierogies
were never covered
with icing or syrup,
and Zora's should
not be either.
Please, principal of school,
I would like to come back
to work to PS 38.
- Well, I'm very sorry, Zora,
but there is no work at PS 38.
I've already repurposed
the cafeteria!
[motor revving]
[giggles]
Go, go, go, ha ha!
[Julius Fucik's
"Entrance of the Gladiators"]
♪
Ha ha! You did it!
[giggles]
- So Zora's cafeteria is now
circus for guinea pig?
- Hamsters!
[laughs excitedly]
Oh, the first-ever
cirque de souris!
That means "hamster"
in French, I think.
Ooh, look at that one!
Be careful, little man!
[laughs]
- [sighs sadly]
[wolf howls]
[bittersweet music]
- "Dear Nate, this is
very difficult letter for me
to write, mostly because I am
using carrot as pencil."
- [snores] Huh? What's this?
"I have made
discomfortable decision
of leaving Rackleff forever."
Forever?
"But I assure you,
I have thorough explanation."
- When I was young girl,
my Bubbe told me
everyone in Koheshesberg
had life's purpose.
Bubbe's was
to bake magnificent pierogi.
And one day, I would have
my own life purpose.
As I grew into woman,
I became quite good.
Then one day, Bubbe was bitten
by a virulent arachnid.
- [grumbles]
- Aah!
- And that was the end
for my Bubbe.
It was then that mydedushka
told me of my life's purpose.
It was to bring pierogi
to Rackleff
and share Bubbe's recipe
with the hungry children
of PS 38.
And she specifically said
"PS 38," even wrote it down
with what was left
of her rotting fingers.
But I failed.
I set aside Bubbe's recipe
just to be capitalist
and make money.
Now there is only one thing
left for Zora to do--
return to Koheshesberg
to receive new life's purpose
from village mayor.
Farewell, Nate Wright.
Please remember me fondly.
- [gasps]
- Heaven is the whole
of our hearts ♪
- What have I done?
[peaceful music]
♪
- [gasps]
[moving orchestral music]
♪
- Zora! [grunting]
- Nate, what are
you doing here?
- [spits] I came to find you.
I came to bring you back.
- I am sorry,
but I cannot stay.
I must return to Koheshesberg.
[horn blows]
- No, no! You said it yourself!
Your life's purpose was to feed
the hungry children of PS 38!
- Yes, it was, but
- But I ruined it.
- All aboard!
- Apologies, Nate Wright.
I must be going now.
- Wait, no!
[sighs]
I can't believe
how selfish I was.
[horn honks]
Zora!
[wailing]
- Nate! I come back home now!
- Don't worry, Zora!
This time,
we're gonna do it right!
[bugs chittering]
[both gasp]
- Pop Pop.
- Okay, Martin.
Now don't do anything rash.
I'll grab the egg,
and we'll get out of here.
You could start a new life
in a new house.
- No, no, no, no, no!
You have all crossed the line!
Galvin, suit up! This is war!
- Well,
I'm a pacifist typically,
but these bugs aren't typical!
Mallet me, baby!
- This is my house, my rules.
Nobody takes a bath
in my tub but me,
everybody replaces
their condiments,
and nobody touches
my Pop Pop's Fabergé egg!
[The Bangles' "Eternal Flame"]
- Close your eyes ♪
Give me your hand, darling ♪
Do you feel
my heart beating? ♪
Do you understand? ♪
Do you feel the same? ♪
- [laughs]
[screams]
- Am I only dreaming? ♪
Is this burning ♪
[both screaming]
- An eternal flame ♪
I believe it's meant
to be, darling ♪
- [yells]
- Sleeping ♪
You belong with me,
do you feel the same? ♪
Am I only dreaming? ♪
Or is this burning ♪
- You ready, Zora?
- Zora born ready.
- Welcome back, everyone!
Oh.
[wind whistling]
I don't get it.
There's nobody here.
What happened?
[drone whirring]
[suspenseful music]
- Your heart was
in right place, Nate Wright.
Bubbe would be proud.
[people screaming]
- Ugh, if only that would help
my dad.
- It's okay.
I know different way
to fulfill life's purpose.
- Ugh.
- Oh, good to be home.
- And a blessing in disguise
that the city shut down
my questionably moral
hamster circus.
I'll take two, please.
- [screams]
[all wince]
[bell rings]
[all scream]
- Well, I think
I did the right thing.
We used all the money we made
to get Zora's kitchen back
in working order,
but now the only thing
getting exterminated
is our budget.
And my dad may not
take the news so well.
- [mumbling]
- [chatters]
Um, uh, hey, Dad?
I've got something I have
to tell you.
- New business
didn't turn the profit
you were expecting, did it?
- Not even close.
- It's okay, Nate, really.
- It is?
- Yup, because I took care
of the bug problem.
- You did?
[gasps]
[horror music]
- [yelps, pants]
- [gags] It's a massacre.
- All you have
to do is clean up!
[hums]
[bright music]
[bugs chittering]
- Aah!