Dynasty (2017) s02e12 Episode Script
Filthy Games
1 [narrator.]
Previously on Dynasty: There may be a job for you with the team.
Takes a fool to say no to Blake Carrington.
Takes an even bigger fool to say yes, but here I am.
I assure you Fallon has zero involvement with this team.
- Does this mean you're coming home? - Soon, yeah.
I've gotta run for now.
I love you, Sam.
I'm not sure the baby is Blake's.
I went home and made a huge mistake by sleeping with my ex-husband.
- You need to tell him the truth.
- We did that.
Oh, my God.
Liam? You are my one.
There was a time when I thought I couldn't live without you.
Now I can't stand the sight of you.
[man on TV.]
Wait a minute.
Haven't I seen you before? I know your face.
- Get out.
Or shall I call my servant? - Get out.
Or shall I call my servant? You're Norma Desmond.
You used to be in silent pictures.
You used to be big.
- I am big.
- I am big.
- It's the pictures that got small.
- It's the pictures that got small.
[door opens.]
- What are you doing here? - Checking up on you.
You haven't answered my texts in a week.
[groans.]
Well, I'm boycotting my phone.
And people.
Specifically boys.
Boycotting boys? How second-grade of you.
When was the last time you left your room? Or ate something other than candy? - Do gin-soaked olives count? - Liam really did a number on you.
He said that I was no longer the girl he knew and loved, the sophisticated, savvy businesswoman who wanted to start her own dynasty.
Did he really say "sophisticated"? You know what? It doesn't even matter.
We need to get you out of here.
How about this? I'm hosting a party tomorrow night at the club.
It's game night but high-end.
Aggressive competition always cheers you up.
Not this time.
I just wanna be left alone.
[Blake.]
Hit it.
[pop music playing.]
So, I think Cassius Cardinal is the best mascot option.
He's small, but he's fierce.
We're supposed to be presenting a mission statement to our board.
Our mission is to entertain the crap out of our fans.
I'm talking performers and fighter jets.
Hey.
Find me some trained cardinals to fly around during games.
- Okay, that's enough.
Go.
- We need to find more substantial messaging.
Our star is homegrown.
We focus on creating a strong local community.
I'm thinking of a "Together we will rise" philosophy, one that speaks to the all-inclusiveness of our team and fans.
Yeah, it's heartfelt.
- Exactly.
- It's heartfelt mumbo jumbo.
That's not why people watch sports.
I know what's best for my team.
Our team.
Then why don't we just present both? - Put it up for a board vote.
- Fine with me.
- It's a waste of everyone's time.
- We'll see.
I said make it dirty, not disgusting.
Just start over.
I just got a text from Steven saying he's extending his South American walkabout.
Did he mention? That you forgot how to knock? No, I have not spoken to Steven.
Don't take this personally, Sam, but I really don't wanna see anyone today.
Including you.
So, maybe take it a little personally.
I guess Steven doesn't wanna see me either, since he keeps not coming back.
Why do you think that is? I mean, is it me? I should've never let him go to Paraguay.
Or you should've gone with him.
I don't know.
But we all know you're not cut out to be the husband to a charitable missionary.
You don't know what I'm cut out to be.
You couldn't even last one night in Paraguay.
I don't know why Steven would think you'd wanna move there.
Besides, I'm sorry to say this, but you're just too materialistic.
Me? Are you kidding? Look at all this.
Too materialistic for Steven.
Thank you.
Much better.
So not sorry to interrupt, but the post-emo shoegaze feel-hard band that you requested is here.
- Through there.
- Are we done? Because I would like to enjoy all of my feelings in peace and accompanied by an appropriately melancholic soundtrack.
I'm too materialistic.
I've been doing some deep thinking and self-introspection and Sounds painful.
It was.
But I realized I have to reinvent myself to be the kind of man that Steven needs.
I've been doing a lot of reinvention research.
Pretty much all the experts say that I have to dematerialize.
Cleanse myself of worldly possessions.
I'm supposed to throw everything out.
Except the things that truly bring me joy.
I downloaded an app to get us started.
- Not sure what this has to do with Steven.
- Everything.
If I get more aligned with Steven's thinking and his new way of life, then well, he'll fall in love with me all over again when he gets back.
Very sweet.
I'm in.
On two conditions.
One: Can I please be your date for Monica's game night tomorrow? I hate going to those things alone.
You mean you hate not being on the invite list and need my plus-one? - What are besties for? - Thanks.
And two: I get first dibs on your so-called trash.
Mi trash es tu trash.
[Easter Island's "You Don't Have a Choice" playing.]
For the first time For the last time Play it again but sadder.
What do I have to do to get a little peace in this house? I don't know.
You tell me.
It's been the same song for the last hour.
You are now a human "do not disturb" sign.
Go.
Guard the door.
Is there anything I can do? Would touching my hair make you feel any better? I put in extra conditioner today.
Sadly, I don't even think that would help.
But thank you for offering.
Your stepmotherly duties are complete.
You may go.
I was hoping you haven't told anyone about my little secret.
What I told you in Sun Valley.
You still haven't told my father that he may not be the baby daddy? Not cool, Cristal.
I'm working on it.
It's a hard thing to just say to someone.
No, it's not.
Look.
Blake, I may be having another man's baby.
- See? It's not that hard.
- What if the baby turns out to be Blake's? Then I will make him upset for no reason by telling him.
Which is why I got this.
What is that? A time machine for undoing bad decisions? No.
It's a paternity test.
If it's Mark's child, I'll confess everything.
But if the baby is Blake's, then we can keep my moment of doubt between us ladies.
- Fine.
- Now - I'm gonna need a sample.
- Excuse me? Your DNA is close enough to Blake's to determine a match with the baby.
- If I do this, you'll leave? - Mm.
Don't stop playing because of this.
Sadder.
How much have we thrown out? - Well, that's impressive.
- That's the save pile.
That's the lose pile.
Well, clearly I can't dematerialize.
I'm too close to it.
This is exactly why dentists don't pull out their own teeth.
So, let's focus.
You and I, we've got this.
- Be merciless.
- No, I can't.
These things are like my own children.
And I'm in no place to make a Sophie's choice between animal prints.
I think we're gonna need professional help.
[scoffs.]
Seriously? - Give us five, fellas.
- [music stops.]
You'll recall agreeing to do a "day in the life" article for Contemporary Metropolitan Post? Yeah.
I was gonna inspire millions of little girls everywhere.
I scheduled it a few weeks after Culhane proposed.
- Back when life had meaning.
- Well, apparently you forgot to cancel.
- The reporter is downstairs.
- Well, that won't do.
- Can't you see I'm taking a little break? - From reality? Send him away.
Tell him I have tuberculosis or some other contagious disease.
I'll make your excuses.
Wait.
- Is the reporter still Kenneth Desai? - Yes.
Well, he can be a little snarky, so, make sure he's buying whatever excuse you're selling and tell him we'll reschedule the interview for a later date.
- Otherwise, he'll tweet something mean.
- Understood.
Anyone seeing the state of your life at the moment might think it was repulsive.
Not me, of course.
But people you care about.
Mr.
Desai, I regret to inform you that Ms.
Carrington is going to have to reschedule.
- She's not feeling well.
- I hope it's not serious.
I wish she could've told me before I spent four hours traveling here from New York.
Yes.
She's very sorry.
No, I completely understand.
Health, physical or mental, comes first, of course.
You're not tweeting about it, are you? Hashtag "we'll sue for slander.
" What's going on, Anders? I'm just explaining to Mr.
Desai here that Fallon is [Fallon.]
Here.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
All right, Mr.
Desai, I'm ready for my close-up.
[theme song playing.]
This profile could not come at a better time.
Now the whole world gets to see the real Fallon Carrington and how great I'm doing.
Love the enthusiasm.
So, the basic idea is for me to see what a typical day looks like in the life of a young top-of-her-game billionaire like yourself.
Now, will this be for print, online, or both? I just wanna make sure as many people see this article as possible.
The stronger the material, the more readers there will be.
- So, let's see what you got.
- [chuckles.]
You know, apart from a proclivity for tardiness and mysteriously vanishing illnesses.
Sorry about that.
I didn't realize the date, and You mean Anders gave you the wrong one.
He's had a lot on his plate.
Perhaps something was lost in translation.
Isn't he from New Zealand? His accent is thick.
If this is a bad time, we could always check back in a few months and see if there's space and interest in your profile.
- I just wanna do what's best for you.
- No, no, no.
The timing and my personal life could not be more perfect right now.
[Alexis.]
Fallon.
I dropped by to check in on you.
I assumed you'd still be in your room.
It's nice to see you finally made it out.
Mother, this is Kenneth Desai with Contemporary Metro.
He's writing an article about how wonderful I'm doing.
Oh, well, I would love to contribute.
My life is going marvelously, as well.
I mean, I am very busy, but I'm sure I could eke out four or five hours if that's what you need.
What a shame.
I was about to take Kenneth on a tour of the house.
Come on, get your bag.
You know, it's funny.
Jennings.
It's an odd surname for a woman of your background.
Where is it that you said you're from? - Oh, and are there other Jennings? - Why? Are you writing an article, as well? Because I doubt everyone is actually reading Ex-Wife Weekly.
[speaks Spanish.]
I know that you don't think that it's any of my business, but it is Blake's.
- Blake knows everything he needs to know.
- You mean only what you've told him.
And this whole "international woman of mystery" thing, it isn't fooling anyone.
The only fool here is you, Alexis.
I have no secrets.
Nothing to hide.
We'll see.
You know what they say.
Where there's smoke, there's a liar.
This is it.
Ground zero.
Who's this? This is the Insta guru I found to solve all my problems.
Lady Monk.
Though I prefer "mindfulness specialist" to "guru.
" Kirby Anders, friend specialist.
I was helping him declutter before you arrived, and I thought we were doing just fine on our own.
Actually, we were flailing, and that's exactly why you're here.
Your teachings really stood out from the sea of Insta self-improvement coaches.
That and your perfectly curated feed.
Before we get started, I let all my clients pick one item to save.
Here.
This is the shirt I was wearing the last time I saw Steven.
The last time we kissed.
- I know it's just a shirt, but it really - [shushes.]
What are you doing? [Kirby.]
Whoa! Not cool.
No, no, no.
The shirt is not Steven, Sam.
Objects are not the people they represent.
Wow, I never thought about it that way.
I gotta say, I I'm already feeling a little clearer.
[Tony.]
And why would I spy on Mr.
Carrington's fiancée for you? Because she won't tell me anything.
And that's what friends like us do for one another.
Fine.
If you won't do it, I'll just have to show Blake how utterly firable you are.
Since when is driving a car and having a girlfriend a crime? Well, when you're joyriding in Blake's Rolls-Royce and Joy, the housemaid, is riding you.
I would imagine that she'll be fired, as well, when Blake sees these.
And that would be such a shame.
- What do you want me to do? - Well, you're a gardener, Tony.
I want you to do some digging.
Which leads us to my third-favorite painting in the house.
I've seen the grounds, the cellar, your butler's duck-decoy collection, but I have yet to see the real top-of-her-game Fallon that you promised.
So, why do I get the feeling you're hiding something? I'm not.
I mean feel free to ask me anything.
Well, since this article was also supposed to be about a day in the life of a new bride, I have to ask, how have you handled the breakup? Wonderfully.
I mean, as well as could be expected.
Yes, the relationship did not work out, but it ended amicably.
- And it's as simple and boring as that.
- Good for you.
I couldn't write for two months after my last breakup.
Just buried myself in tissues and vodka.
I can see how that would be hard for you.
So, you don't mind if I call Michael Culhane, do you? - Especially since things are so amicable.
- Of course not.
But you don't even have to call him, because he and I actually have dinner plans tonight, and you're welcome to join.
- Well, that's perfect.
- Isn't it just? Okay.
Well, I If you'll excuse me a moment, I need to go ahead to my solo afternoon meditation.
Just like Oprah.
Oh, write that down.
[laughs.]
Joy.
Could you mail this for me right away? Please don't mention it to anyone.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
Hey, Joy, I'm headed to the post office.
You want me to take that for you? Actually, that would be super helpful.
Here.
[chuckles.]
Well, this will work.
Seems like our little angel has been spreading her wings in more than one bed, hasn't she? My name is Sammy Jo Carrington, and I am ready to free myself from the energy of material things in order to create a better version of me.
- Hi, Steven.
- And to Instagram it goes.
You are doing so wonderfully, Sam.
Now all you have to do to be who you want to be is to let yourself feel free.
Now it's detox time.
[Citizen Kay's "Yes! (Club Mix)" playing.]
Bye.
Yes.
I did it.
This and this and this.
Yes.
Oh, no.
This is staying.
It's Gucci.
We're not just making space for the new Sam.
We're also providing for others who are in need.
Can't argue with that.
This is insane.
You barely know this Insta crank, and you're gonna throw everything away? Kirby, I know you're distrustful, but negative thoughts lead to negative results.
And look at all the progress that Sam is making.
Isn't that what's really important? You weren't kidding.
I think this merits a selfie with my sensei.
Kirby.
- Are you trying to steal that? - No, I was saving it.
For when you eventually remember that you can't live without Gucci.
Negative thoughts, negative results.
Kirby, maybe you need to replenish, come back later.
Try a banana.
Potassium is a real lifesaver.
[scoffs.]
All we have to do is switch out the original paternity sample with a non-Carrington sample so the tests come back as not a match.
And then we make sure that Blake sees the results confirming that the baby's not his, and bye-bye, Cristal.
Non-Carrington DNA coming right up.
Yeah.
Good dog.
Good dog.
Dinner.
Dinner was the emergency? I'm picking up on a hostile vibe.
If we could take it down a notch.
- You 911'ed me.
- Because it is an emergency.
The writer does not have a story, so, he zeroed in on our relationship.
He's gonna keep looking for stuff unless we throw him off.
We have plenty of skeletons that need to stay buried, so, I needed to warn you.
It was not just a 911 for me.
It was a 911 for us.
Fallon, there is no us.
Not anymore.
I'm no longer at your beck and call.
I can't drop everything to save, what, your vanity? My vanity.
That's very funny.
Because wasn't it your vanity that made you wanna go work for that evil woman so you could feel all big and all macho? As a matter of fact, you owe me for destroying our relationship after I saved your ass.
Owe you? Everything I did was to protect you.
To close the Van Kirk deal.
To save you from Ada.
All you've ever done was treat me like a little plaything in your never-ending psycho drama.
- You put yourself in that position.
- Well, not anymore.
I don't know what happened to you, but you're not the Fallon Carrington that I used to love.
So, I was wrong.
There's definitely a story here worth telling.
Less "Fallon Carrington, billions and brains," more "Fallon Carrington, billion-dollar mess.
" We need to think of the game as more a show than a sporting event.
- People wanna be entertained.
- Isn't that what the match is for? You're not thinking big enough.
Every team plays a game.
But how many of them, I don't know, introduce their lineup by having them skydive into the stadium? - Probably none.
That's a huge liability.
- Bells and whistles are great, but we want our mission statement to be something deeper, more meaningful.
Exactly.
And MLS LAFC's motto is "Shoulder to shoulder.
" What's this team stand for? Great point.
Which is why I'm suggesting that our team's motto be "Together we will rise.
" It's inclusive of the team and the fans but also the community as a whole.
We can build a great ad campaign, even get local schools involved.
That sounds great.
You should've led with that.
We can discuss it more at our next meeting.
Wait.
You're leaving? I thought we were having dinner.
I'm sorry Michael couldn't make it.
He had a family emergency.
Yes.
It definitely sounded like some kind of emergency.
What do you mean, sounded like? I'm not sure what you thought you heard.
No, I didn't hear anything, but This is gonna be a beautiful piece.
I think that you're gonna be really surprised.
In a good way.
- So, that's it? We're done? - Let's just say I have everything I need.
Wait.
Wait.
Um I was holding back.
And I'm sorry for burying the lede.
But I told you I was working on something big, business-wise, so, at least give me a chance to show you.
You know, it's a little late, and I'm not hungry.
I already gorged myself on this tiny charcuterie plate.
Well, the launch party for my new company is tomorrow night.
How many chances do you get to profile Jobs and Wozniak before their Apple? It's one night.
A party at Club Colby.
And I promise, this is the groundbreaking, aspirational angle worthy of your skills as a journalist.
Okay.
I could stay another day.
But only 'cause I love a good party.
[line ringing.]
Monica, you were right.
I will definitely be coming to game night.
But I've got a different game to play.
Hey, guys, it's me.
I'm just here eating sustainably with food I foraged.
This is watercress and burdock.
Came right out of the ground.
You just steam it, salt and pepper it.
Voilà .
That must taste like dirt.
Lady Monk gave me a new outlook.
Food is just fuel.
It doesn't need to be anything more.
I get it.
But I think actual fuel might taste better than that.
Same with clothes.
I don't need anything more than this organic fair-trade zero-carbon-footprint tunic.
Maybe you should wear it tonight.
I'll try and coordinate.
I forgot to tell you.
I can't go with you to game night.
- I'm taking Lady Monk as my plus-one.
- Wait.
What? Why? I wanna introduce her to new clients.
She's made such a difference in my life.
Besides, think of how impressed Steven will be when he hears how much I've committed to this lifestyle.
I'm starting to worry about her influence on you.
You don't need to.
This is no weirder than a juice cleanse or Gwyneth steaming her vagina.
First of all, huge Gwyneth fan.
Second of all, I am not one to slam wackadoodle beliefs, but this woman seems super dodgy.
What do you really know about her? I know that I am happier than I've been in weeks.
Actually, Lady Monk warned me that this might happen, that you may try to stop me from being my best self.
She warned you about me? - Mm-hm.
- Brilliant.
I am just trying to prevent that culture-appropriating fake healer from taking advantage of you.
She said you're angry because you're not the center of attention.
And I think she's right.
That's just sad.
So, namaste.
You did what? I said to replace the sample with non-Carrington DNA, not dog DNA.
I thought you would appreciate that I went above and beyond.
There is no way the daddy DNA is gonna match the baby's.
Because it won't match any human DNA.
Okay, now the lab is gonna ask for more samples so that they can rerun the tests.
There's gotta be a way to save this.
I need you to keep trailing Cristal and see if you can't find out who that baby daddy could be.
Aside from Blake.
Okay, run along.
Get going.
[rap music playing.]
[Fallon.]
Wait, what happened to the giant battleships? I didn't realize by "cohosting," you meant taking over my game night.
Well I'm not taking it over.
I'm just making it larger-than-life.
Though I couldn't get jumbo Candy Land.
I was gonna have people dress up as the characters.
I always had a thing for Princess Frostine.
She is cute.
Wait.
So, all of this is for a reporter? No.
Well, technically, yes.
I just need him to write an article that Liam can read to see how great I'm doing.
Look, you are the one who said you're boycotting boys.
I need to make Liam see that he has no effect on me and he is missing out on the best Fallon Carrington.
One other thing to know: Tonight is also the launch party for my new business.
- You don't have a new business.
- Not yet.
But the night is young.
All I have to do is find someone here with a great idea, convince them to pretend I've always been their partner, and let Kenneth do the rest.
Sounds like a foolproof plan to me.
I don't need your sarcasm, Monica.
I need your help.
Please.
And a miracle.
[gasps.]
Speaking of miracles, the CEO of Spartan Force is coming.
This is shaping up to be the best fake launch party yet.
Thank you for letting me do this.
As if I had a choice.
Tell me you're not trying to pilfer another credit card.
I'm not pilfering anything, whatever that means.
- I'm trying to get Sam's stuff back.
- The things he willingly donated? To an Insta guru who says they're going to charity, but I highly doubt that.
Why do you doubt her? Sam seems happy.
I cross-referenced Lady Monk's feed with some other feeds.
There's just too many things that don't add up.
- All right.
Well, how can I be of help? - I already handled it.
His tablet he gave away is still on, and I pinged it.
It's wherever that is.
I can wait to get used at the next meeting.
- I didn't use you.
I used your idea.
- Without mentioning where you got it.
Hold on.
Is that what this is about? Credit and ego? I didn't realize it was that important to you.
I guess I should've seen it coming, given the games you played to get here.
I've learned those filthy games from a master: you.
I've also learned how to match you, Blake, so, watch out.
As far as ego, it's hard to tell whose is bigger: yours or your daughter's.
- Don't make this personal, Michael.
- It already is.
I've dealt with the two of you using me for years.
My days as a Carrington pawn are over.
So, what? - You're done with the team? - No.
But I am done with Fallon.
And I'm done with you treating me like I'm still your driver.
You're blowing this out of proportion.
It's just business.
Exactly.
And this is my opportunity to make something of myself.
And I'm not letting you get in the way.
So, if you want my expertise, you're gonna need to accept that we're partners.
[chattering.]
- That's right.
- I know.
Easy.
Hey, welcome to the launch of Fallon Unlimited.
Yeah, you really went all out here.
So, what was the thinking behind game night? Is this related to your new company, in some way? Well, once I reveal my concept to you and introduce you to my business partner, I think it'll all come together.
Let's get you a drink.
Or several.
[chuckles.]
Thank you so much for inviting me, Sam.
This gives me a chance to fund-raise for my charity, Lady Monk's Mindful Giving, and to spread my ideas to the uninitiated.
I think the tunics might be a little too biblical for this crowd.
Let's focus on finding people who are like-minded and open-minded.
Like her.
Isn't that your sister-in-law? Yeah, but that is not a mind you wanna open.
Trust me.
Why don't we try something new and split up? Double our reach, double our teach.
All right.
Well, I won't let you down.
[cell phone ringing.]
Carrington residence.
No, I'm not interested in a new cable company.
[ringing.]
Carrington residence.
Oh, I believe we're already given quite generously.
[ringing.]
Carrington residence.
This is Pacific North Bio Lab in Seattle.
I'm calling for Cristal Jennings.
Please hold.
Well, hello there.
This is Cristal.
Yes.
Mrs.
Jennings, we wanted to let you know that you need to resubmit your paternity test.
Unfortunately, the sample was contaminated.
Oh! How awful.
Well, I'm feeling a little nauseous at the moment.
You know, it's my first trimester.
Well, would y'all mind if I just transferred you to my husband? Well, my fiancé.
He's almost my husband.
All right.
One moment, please.
The new maid accidentally handed me the phone, but it's for Cristal.
Something about tests for the baby? This is Blake.
What do you mean, another sample? For what? A paternity test? I'm the father.
Why would she? Son of a bitch.
[chattering.]
It's sort of a hybrid tech-analog idea.
My favorite kind.
Are you looking for funding? It does involve a version of S and M using 4-D technology.
Because I don't have any funding.
- Is he your partner? - Him? [laughs.]
No.
I've been here for over an hour, and you still haven't told me the groundbreaking idea that's gonna relaunch Fallon Carrington to the world.
- Unless there isn't one.
- Oh, there is one.
Why else would I go through all this trouble? Oh, let me introduce you to Monica.
She is the club owner.
We've been friends since we were kids.
Monica Colby, this is Kenneth Desai, the reporter I was telling you about.
You throw a great party.
Really, it's all Fallon.
This is her launch.
Wait till you hear about her company.
It's gonna blow your mind.
- It's really a - Go back to work now, Monica.
Okay.
You know, Monica and I started a record label together.
- Who are your artists? - Uh - Fallon.
- Can I help you? Can you help me? A little in-joke between us girls.
Lady Monk, mindfulness specialist with a million Insta followers.
Fallon and I are collabing.
Partners.
- And you are? - Kenneth Desai, Contemporary Metro.
Excuse me, but Kenneth is interviewing me, Lady Granola.
- Come on.
- Hold on.
I'm glad to finally meet Fallon's partner.
I've been dying to hear all about this brilliant new company idea.
So, you threw everything away and now you're, what, hunting and gathering? No more gathering.
Just hunting for inner peace.
This has been a real trip, but I just contributed to Steven's foundation at the gala.
My checkbook is all worn out.
Sorry.
Namaste.
Are you gonna join me in bed, or just stare like a stalker? You just looked so serene.
Just so serene.
For someone who doesn't know whose baby they're carrying.
- How did you? - The lab called.
- About your paternity test.
- My God.
The results were contaminated.
They needed another sample.
- Blake.
- Were you gonna tell me? Or were you gonna let me carry another man's baby like Alexis? I was going to tell you if the baby wasn't yours.
But I think I feel in my heart it is yours.
It happened before I thought you and I could ever be together.
I went back to Arizona.
I saw my ex - Who the hell was that, huh, Cristal? - My ex-husband.
Mark Jennings.
We got married very young.
My parents partially owned a soccer team.
He was a player.
But they had a falling-out when he refused to throw a game for them.
They destroyed his career.
They would stop at nothing to ruin him.
It became too dangerous to be together.
We had to end it.
You had to? So, you still have feelings for him? No.
It was a long time ago.
- Clearly not that long ago.
- Blake, last time was a mistake.
I came back here and I completely fell for you.
You have to believe me.
I love you.
Please say something.
Anything.
This is fascinating.
You were mentioning something about a book? You caught me.
Lady Monk's brand is the company I've been hinting about.
And, yes, the book is gonna be huge.
We have a multi-platform attack scheduled so that we can take it international, as well.
We've been working on it for, what, months? We want to feature my philosophy and methods so that people can practice a mindful detachment at home.
I'm also working on an app.
"Fallon Carrington: from heiress to lifestyle savant.
" It's really surprising and interesting.
Not exactly the next logical step.
"Logic can take you from A to B.
But the imagination can take you everywhere.
" Einstein.
I'm curious about your initial investment in the project.
- We haven't really - Several million.
With a back end.
We are still working out the details, but, you know, details are just the grains of sand on the beach of life.
This is definitely an unexpected turn for the article.
I wanna run this new angle by my editor.
- Give me a minute? - Yeah.
I don't know who you are, but thank you very much for playing along.
- We need to talk about this more.
- There you are.
I didn't have any luck trying to find new clients or fund-raising.
Sorry.
But I have an idea.
I can give you money from the Steven Carrington Foundation so you can keep helping people.
I'm sorry.
Sam, we are discussing business, so, please take your toga party elsewhere.
This is my guru.
You can find your own.
- First of all, mindfulness specialist.
- Yeah.
And secondly, I can accept both of your investments and donations.
One Carrington's not enough? Trying to bag yourself a second? Kirby, you are making no sense.
This is no time for your crazy.
Right.
I'm sorry.
- Lady Monk here is a con artist.
- You're kidding.
- What? - Jealousy is so ugly - on such a beautiful face.
- I tracked your stuff to a warehouse.
It's all boxed up and ready to be shipped to a consignment store.
This is what she does.
She rips people off and has someone sell it online.
It's all here.
The proceeds from all of those sales are going to charities.
UNICEF, the Red Cross, all of them.
Right.
I'm sure once my father finishes tracking your money trail, we'll find that those proceeds go directly into your burlap pocket.
Oh, my God.
You convinced me to wear this ugly-ass outfit and to eat grass.
- I was about to give you millions.
- No, Sam.
Steven would be so proud of - Don't you dare bring him up.
- This is how she gets people.
When they're at their most vulnerable, which is clearly you two.
I mean, you miss your husband.
And you have barely left your room ever since Liam rejected you like a sad, moldy loaf of bread.
Well, that was a little harsh.
But true.
Look, I just met this crackpot five minutes ago.
I was so insecure that it was easier to let you convince me that I was the problem, but I'm not.
I mean, sure, I should be less materialistic, but I'm amazing, even if I'm work in progress, and Steven will realize that or not.
You even made me question my fashion sense.
Security.
Please get this pathetic Insta grifter out of here.
You're calling me pathetic? Look around.
You faked an entire party to impress one reporter? Takes a fraud to know a fraud.
You're the biggest one of them all, Fallon Carrington.
You're done.
Like I said, I do love a good party.
And I think I have everything I need.
Keep an eye out for the article.
It's gonna be a doozy.
- I just wanted to come by to - Just let me say what needs to be said.
I'm sorry I doubted you, Kirby.
I was just drowning in self-doubt and grasping at figurative straws when Well, when the real emotional lifeline I needed was here next to me the whole time.
You're the lifeline.
No one's ever said that about me.
I've always been the albatross or dead weight.
Or crazy Kirby.
But before I get weird and weepy, have you checked your Instagram today? No.
And the next time I check it will be the last time I check it.
- I'm deleting my account.
- You shouldn't.
Your Instagram is on fire.
Oh, my God.
How did this happen? When I got to the club, I put my phone on the bar to record Lady Shady's takedown.
I wanted to expose her.
But then you started exposing yourself in a way that felt more important and way cooler.
So, I posted it.
Now your hashtag-"love thyself" message is viral.
Or I look insane.
A hundred thousand views and 50,000 new followers beg to differ.
[knocking.]
- Permission to disturb? - Thank you for knocking.
Well, I know last night was a roller coaster.
More like a bungee jump without a bungee.
That's kind of an ominous visual.
Are you okay? If there's one thing I know for sure, it is that I am not okay.
You know, I spent a week in bed because of a guy, which is pathetic.
My business judgment is so off that I actually tried to make a deal with a woman who was clearly a fraud Hey, I fell for her too.
- Yeah, that doesn't really help me.
- Same.
I've been talking about doing all these things and haven't done any of them.
Now there's gonna be this article telling the world what a mess I am.
So things are good.
- How are you? - Well, crazily, my accidental self-love mantra is trending.
I never knew I could help other people just by telling it like it is.
- You're gonna be an influencer now? - I think I have to.
I have 421,489 followers.
And three sponsors have already sent me tunics.
- I would run from those.
- Never again.
Well, glad to see you've got it all figured out.
And to focus on the positive, I am going to start posting daily affirmations.
And I want the first one to be just for you.
You may be in a dark place right now, but the light will come.
You just need to find it.
- Dad? - There she is.
Knew you'd be back on top, back in fighting shape in no time.
Actually, I'm not.
I am not on top, and I am definitely not in good shape.
Everyone was right about me.
I need your help, Daddy.
- Blake, I - Before you say anything, I just wanna tell you I'm sorry I stormed out before.
- I needed space.
- I understand.
I thought I could wrap my head around the possibility that baby might not be mine.
But I saw the pain Steven felt about his confused parentage.
On top of that, you kept this a secret.
And how can I believe you now? - You say that Mark is out of your life - I'm telling the truth.
There is no Mark Jennings in my heart.
But I can only say it so many times in so many ways.
I found out that some guy named Mark Jennings could be the baby daddy.
- I'm guessing it's her ex-husband.
- There's more.
It wasn't easy, but I've got friends in all places.
I talked to my buddy who knows the barber who cuts the hair of a chef that works at the mayor's favorite restaurant, and he told me Can you get to the point? You really know how to suck the fun out of big reveals.
Mark Jennings' last contact.
Please leave.
[keypad beeping.]
Hello.
Is this Mark? [Blake.]
I was thinking about what you said yesterday, and I agree.
Partners should work together and respect one another.
- I'm glad to hear you say that.
- But let me remind you, you had one good move that got you this job, so, I figure I owe you one of my own before we get back to even again.
- What are you talking about? - You're in the big leagues now.
- Oh, hell, no.
- Oh, hell, no.
[closing theme playing.]
Previously on Dynasty: There may be a job for you with the team.
Takes a fool to say no to Blake Carrington.
Takes an even bigger fool to say yes, but here I am.
I assure you Fallon has zero involvement with this team.
- Does this mean you're coming home? - Soon, yeah.
I've gotta run for now.
I love you, Sam.
I'm not sure the baby is Blake's.
I went home and made a huge mistake by sleeping with my ex-husband.
- You need to tell him the truth.
- We did that.
Oh, my God.
Liam? You are my one.
There was a time when I thought I couldn't live without you.
Now I can't stand the sight of you.
[man on TV.]
Wait a minute.
Haven't I seen you before? I know your face.
- Get out.
Or shall I call my servant? - Get out.
Or shall I call my servant? You're Norma Desmond.
You used to be in silent pictures.
You used to be big.
- I am big.
- I am big.
- It's the pictures that got small.
- It's the pictures that got small.
[door opens.]
- What are you doing here? - Checking up on you.
You haven't answered my texts in a week.
[groans.]
Well, I'm boycotting my phone.
And people.
Specifically boys.
Boycotting boys? How second-grade of you.
When was the last time you left your room? Or ate something other than candy? - Do gin-soaked olives count? - Liam really did a number on you.
He said that I was no longer the girl he knew and loved, the sophisticated, savvy businesswoman who wanted to start her own dynasty.
Did he really say "sophisticated"? You know what? It doesn't even matter.
We need to get you out of here.
How about this? I'm hosting a party tomorrow night at the club.
It's game night but high-end.
Aggressive competition always cheers you up.
Not this time.
I just wanna be left alone.
[Blake.]
Hit it.
[pop music playing.]
So, I think Cassius Cardinal is the best mascot option.
He's small, but he's fierce.
We're supposed to be presenting a mission statement to our board.
Our mission is to entertain the crap out of our fans.
I'm talking performers and fighter jets.
Hey.
Find me some trained cardinals to fly around during games.
- Okay, that's enough.
Go.
- We need to find more substantial messaging.
Our star is homegrown.
We focus on creating a strong local community.
I'm thinking of a "Together we will rise" philosophy, one that speaks to the all-inclusiveness of our team and fans.
Yeah, it's heartfelt.
- Exactly.
- It's heartfelt mumbo jumbo.
That's not why people watch sports.
I know what's best for my team.
Our team.
Then why don't we just present both? - Put it up for a board vote.
- Fine with me.
- It's a waste of everyone's time.
- We'll see.
I said make it dirty, not disgusting.
Just start over.
I just got a text from Steven saying he's extending his South American walkabout.
Did he mention? That you forgot how to knock? No, I have not spoken to Steven.
Don't take this personally, Sam, but I really don't wanna see anyone today.
Including you.
So, maybe take it a little personally.
I guess Steven doesn't wanna see me either, since he keeps not coming back.
Why do you think that is? I mean, is it me? I should've never let him go to Paraguay.
Or you should've gone with him.
I don't know.
But we all know you're not cut out to be the husband to a charitable missionary.
You don't know what I'm cut out to be.
You couldn't even last one night in Paraguay.
I don't know why Steven would think you'd wanna move there.
Besides, I'm sorry to say this, but you're just too materialistic.
Me? Are you kidding? Look at all this.
Too materialistic for Steven.
Thank you.
Much better.
So not sorry to interrupt, but the post-emo shoegaze feel-hard band that you requested is here.
- Through there.
- Are we done? Because I would like to enjoy all of my feelings in peace and accompanied by an appropriately melancholic soundtrack.
I'm too materialistic.
I've been doing some deep thinking and self-introspection and Sounds painful.
It was.
But I realized I have to reinvent myself to be the kind of man that Steven needs.
I've been doing a lot of reinvention research.
Pretty much all the experts say that I have to dematerialize.
Cleanse myself of worldly possessions.
I'm supposed to throw everything out.
Except the things that truly bring me joy.
I downloaded an app to get us started.
- Not sure what this has to do with Steven.
- Everything.
If I get more aligned with Steven's thinking and his new way of life, then well, he'll fall in love with me all over again when he gets back.
Very sweet.
I'm in.
On two conditions.
One: Can I please be your date for Monica's game night tomorrow? I hate going to those things alone.
You mean you hate not being on the invite list and need my plus-one? - What are besties for? - Thanks.
And two: I get first dibs on your so-called trash.
Mi trash es tu trash.
[Easter Island's "You Don't Have a Choice" playing.]
For the first time For the last time Play it again but sadder.
What do I have to do to get a little peace in this house? I don't know.
You tell me.
It's been the same song for the last hour.
You are now a human "do not disturb" sign.
Go.
Guard the door.
Is there anything I can do? Would touching my hair make you feel any better? I put in extra conditioner today.
Sadly, I don't even think that would help.
But thank you for offering.
Your stepmotherly duties are complete.
You may go.
I was hoping you haven't told anyone about my little secret.
What I told you in Sun Valley.
You still haven't told my father that he may not be the baby daddy? Not cool, Cristal.
I'm working on it.
It's a hard thing to just say to someone.
No, it's not.
Look.
Blake, I may be having another man's baby.
- See? It's not that hard.
- What if the baby turns out to be Blake's? Then I will make him upset for no reason by telling him.
Which is why I got this.
What is that? A time machine for undoing bad decisions? No.
It's a paternity test.
If it's Mark's child, I'll confess everything.
But if the baby is Blake's, then we can keep my moment of doubt between us ladies.
- Fine.
- Now - I'm gonna need a sample.
- Excuse me? Your DNA is close enough to Blake's to determine a match with the baby.
- If I do this, you'll leave? - Mm.
Don't stop playing because of this.
Sadder.
How much have we thrown out? - Well, that's impressive.
- That's the save pile.
That's the lose pile.
Well, clearly I can't dematerialize.
I'm too close to it.
This is exactly why dentists don't pull out their own teeth.
So, let's focus.
You and I, we've got this.
- Be merciless.
- No, I can't.
These things are like my own children.
And I'm in no place to make a Sophie's choice between animal prints.
I think we're gonna need professional help.
[scoffs.]
Seriously? - Give us five, fellas.
- [music stops.]
You'll recall agreeing to do a "day in the life" article for Contemporary Metropolitan Post? Yeah.
I was gonna inspire millions of little girls everywhere.
I scheduled it a few weeks after Culhane proposed.
- Back when life had meaning.
- Well, apparently you forgot to cancel.
- The reporter is downstairs.
- Well, that won't do.
- Can't you see I'm taking a little break? - From reality? Send him away.
Tell him I have tuberculosis or some other contagious disease.
I'll make your excuses.
Wait.
- Is the reporter still Kenneth Desai? - Yes.
Well, he can be a little snarky, so, make sure he's buying whatever excuse you're selling and tell him we'll reschedule the interview for a later date.
- Otherwise, he'll tweet something mean.
- Understood.
Anyone seeing the state of your life at the moment might think it was repulsive.
Not me, of course.
But people you care about.
Mr.
Desai, I regret to inform you that Ms.
Carrington is going to have to reschedule.
- She's not feeling well.
- I hope it's not serious.
I wish she could've told me before I spent four hours traveling here from New York.
Yes.
She's very sorry.
No, I completely understand.
Health, physical or mental, comes first, of course.
You're not tweeting about it, are you? Hashtag "we'll sue for slander.
" What's going on, Anders? I'm just explaining to Mr.
Desai here that Fallon is [Fallon.]
Here.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
All right, Mr.
Desai, I'm ready for my close-up.
[theme song playing.]
This profile could not come at a better time.
Now the whole world gets to see the real Fallon Carrington and how great I'm doing.
Love the enthusiasm.
So, the basic idea is for me to see what a typical day looks like in the life of a young top-of-her-game billionaire like yourself.
Now, will this be for print, online, or both? I just wanna make sure as many people see this article as possible.
The stronger the material, the more readers there will be.
- So, let's see what you got.
- [chuckles.]
You know, apart from a proclivity for tardiness and mysteriously vanishing illnesses.
Sorry about that.
I didn't realize the date, and You mean Anders gave you the wrong one.
He's had a lot on his plate.
Perhaps something was lost in translation.
Isn't he from New Zealand? His accent is thick.
If this is a bad time, we could always check back in a few months and see if there's space and interest in your profile.
- I just wanna do what's best for you.
- No, no, no.
The timing and my personal life could not be more perfect right now.
[Alexis.]
Fallon.
I dropped by to check in on you.
I assumed you'd still be in your room.
It's nice to see you finally made it out.
Mother, this is Kenneth Desai with Contemporary Metro.
He's writing an article about how wonderful I'm doing.
Oh, well, I would love to contribute.
My life is going marvelously, as well.
I mean, I am very busy, but I'm sure I could eke out four or five hours if that's what you need.
What a shame.
I was about to take Kenneth on a tour of the house.
Come on, get your bag.
You know, it's funny.
Jennings.
It's an odd surname for a woman of your background.
Where is it that you said you're from? - Oh, and are there other Jennings? - Why? Are you writing an article, as well? Because I doubt everyone is actually reading Ex-Wife Weekly.
[speaks Spanish.]
I know that you don't think that it's any of my business, but it is Blake's.
- Blake knows everything he needs to know.
- You mean only what you've told him.
And this whole "international woman of mystery" thing, it isn't fooling anyone.
The only fool here is you, Alexis.
I have no secrets.
Nothing to hide.
We'll see.
You know what they say.
Where there's smoke, there's a liar.
This is it.
Ground zero.
Who's this? This is the Insta guru I found to solve all my problems.
Lady Monk.
Though I prefer "mindfulness specialist" to "guru.
" Kirby Anders, friend specialist.
I was helping him declutter before you arrived, and I thought we were doing just fine on our own.
Actually, we were flailing, and that's exactly why you're here.
Your teachings really stood out from the sea of Insta self-improvement coaches.
That and your perfectly curated feed.
Before we get started, I let all my clients pick one item to save.
Here.
This is the shirt I was wearing the last time I saw Steven.
The last time we kissed.
- I know it's just a shirt, but it really - [shushes.]
What are you doing? [Kirby.]
Whoa! Not cool.
No, no, no.
The shirt is not Steven, Sam.
Objects are not the people they represent.
Wow, I never thought about it that way.
I gotta say, I I'm already feeling a little clearer.
[Tony.]
And why would I spy on Mr.
Carrington's fiancée for you? Because she won't tell me anything.
And that's what friends like us do for one another.
Fine.
If you won't do it, I'll just have to show Blake how utterly firable you are.
Since when is driving a car and having a girlfriend a crime? Well, when you're joyriding in Blake's Rolls-Royce and Joy, the housemaid, is riding you.
I would imagine that she'll be fired, as well, when Blake sees these.
And that would be such a shame.
- What do you want me to do? - Well, you're a gardener, Tony.
I want you to do some digging.
Which leads us to my third-favorite painting in the house.
I've seen the grounds, the cellar, your butler's duck-decoy collection, but I have yet to see the real top-of-her-game Fallon that you promised.
So, why do I get the feeling you're hiding something? I'm not.
I mean feel free to ask me anything.
Well, since this article was also supposed to be about a day in the life of a new bride, I have to ask, how have you handled the breakup? Wonderfully.
I mean, as well as could be expected.
Yes, the relationship did not work out, but it ended amicably.
- And it's as simple and boring as that.
- Good for you.
I couldn't write for two months after my last breakup.
Just buried myself in tissues and vodka.
I can see how that would be hard for you.
So, you don't mind if I call Michael Culhane, do you? - Especially since things are so amicable.
- Of course not.
But you don't even have to call him, because he and I actually have dinner plans tonight, and you're welcome to join.
- Well, that's perfect.
- Isn't it just? Okay.
Well, I If you'll excuse me a moment, I need to go ahead to my solo afternoon meditation.
Just like Oprah.
Oh, write that down.
[laughs.]
Joy.
Could you mail this for me right away? Please don't mention it to anyone.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
Hey, Joy, I'm headed to the post office.
You want me to take that for you? Actually, that would be super helpful.
Here.
[chuckles.]
Well, this will work.
Seems like our little angel has been spreading her wings in more than one bed, hasn't she? My name is Sammy Jo Carrington, and I am ready to free myself from the energy of material things in order to create a better version of me.
- Hi, Steven.
- And to Instagram it goes.
You are doing so wonderfully, Sam.
Now all you have to do to be who you want to be is to let yourself feel free.
Now it's detox time.
[Citizen Kay's "Yes! (Club Mix)" playing.]
Bye.
Yes.
I did it.
This and this and this.
Yes.
Oh, no.
This is staying.
It's Gucci.
We're not just making space for the new Sam.
We're also providing for others who are in need.
Can't argue with that.
This is insane.
You barely know this Insta crank, and you're gonna throw everything away? Kirby, I know you're distrustful, but negative thoughts lead to negative results.
And look at all the progress that Sam is making.
Isn't that what's really important? You weren't kidding.
I think this merits a selfie with my sensei.
Kirby.
- Are you trying to steal that? - No, I was saving it.
For when you eventually remember that you can't live without Gucci.
Negative thoughts, negative results.
Kirby, maybe you need to replenish, come back later.
Try a banana.
Potassium is a real lifesaver.
[scoffs.]
All we have to do is switch out the original paternity sample with a non-Carrington sample so the tests come back as not a match.
And then we make sure that Blake sees the results confirming that the baby's not his, and bye-bye, Cristal.
Non-Carrington DNA coming right up.
Yeah.
Good dog.
Good dog.
Dinner.
Dinner was the emergency? I'm picking up on a hostile vibe.
If we could take it down a notch.
- You 911'ed me.
- Because it is an emergency.
The writer does not have a story, so, he zeroed in on our relationship.
He's gonna keep looking for stuff unless we throw him off.
We have plenty of skeletons that need to stay buried, so, I needed to warn you.
It was not just a 911 for me.
It was a 911 for us.
Fallon, there is no us.
Not anymore.
I'm no longer at your beck and call.
I can't drop everything to save, what, your vanity? My vanity.
That's very funny.
Because wasn't it your vanity that made you wanna go work for that evil woman so you could feel all big and all macho? As a matter of fact, you owe me for destroying our relationship after I saved your ass.
Owe you? Everything I did was to protect you.
To close the Van Kirk deal.
To save you from Ada.
All you've ever done was treat me like a little plaything in your never-ending psycho drama.
- You put yourself in that position.
- Well, not anymore.
I don't know what happened to you, but you're not the Fallon Carrington that I used to love.
So, I was wrong.
There's definitely a story here worth telling.
Less "Fallon Carrington, billions and brains," more "Fallon Carrington, billion-dollar mess.
" We need to think of the game as more a show than a sporting event.
- People wanna be entertained.
- Isn't that what the match is for? You're not thinking big enough.
Every team plays a game.
But how many of them, I don't know, introduce their lineup by having them skydive into the stadium? - Probably none.
That's a huge liability.
- Bells and whistles are great, but we want our mission statement to be something deeper, more meaningful.
Exactly.
And MLS LAFC's motto is "Shoulder to shoulder.
" What's this team stand for? Great point.
Which is why I'm suggesting that our team's motto be "Together we will rise.
" It's inclusive of the team and the fans but also the community as a whole.
We can build a great ad campaign, even get local schools involved.
That sounds great.
You should've led with that.
We can discuss it more at our next meeting.
Wait.
You're leaving? I thought we were having dinner.
I'm sorry Michael couldn't make it.
He had a family emergency.
Yes.
It definitely sounded like some kind of emergency.
What do you mean, sounded like? I'm not sure what you thought you heard.
No, I didn't hear anything, but This is gonna be a beautiful piece.
I think that you're gonna be really surprised.
In a good way.
- So, that's it? We're done? - Let's just say I have everything I need.
Wait.
Wait.
Um I was holding back.
And I'm sorry for burying the lede.
But I told you I was working on something big, business-wise, so, at least give me a chance to show you.
You know, it's a little late, and I'm not hungry.
I already gorged myself on this tiny charcuterie plate.
Well, the launch party for my new company is tomorrow night.
How many chances do you get to profile Jobs and Wozniak before their Apple? It's one night.
A party at Club Colby.
And I promise, this is the groundbreaking, aspirational angle worthy of your skills as a journalist.
Okay.
I could stay another day.
But only 'cause I love a good party.
[line ringing.]
Monica, you were right.
I will definitely be coming to game night.
But I've got a different game to play.
Hey, guys, it's me.
I'm just here eating sustainably with food I foraged.
This is watercress and burdock.
Came right out of the ground.
You just steam it, salt and pepper it.
Voilà .
That must taste like dirt.
Lady Monk gave me a new outlook.
Food is just fuel.
It doesn't need to be anything more.
I get it.
But I think actual fuel might taste better than that.
Same with clothes.
I don't need anything more than this organic fair-trade zero-carbon-footprint tunic.
Maybe you should wear it tonight.
I'll try and coordinate.
I forgot to tell you.
I can't go with you to game night.
- I'm taking Lady Monk as my plus-one.
- Wait.
What? Why? I wanna introduce her to new clients.
She's made such a difference in my life.
Besides, think of how impressed Steven will be when he hears how much I've committed to this lifestyle.
I'm starting to worry about her influence on you.
You don't need to.
This is no weirder than a juice cleanse or Gwyneth steaming her vagina.
First of all, huge Gwyneth fan.
Second of all, I am not one to slam wackadoodle beliefs, but this woman seems super dodgy.
What do you really know about her? I know that I am happier than I've been in weeks.
Actually, Lady Monk warned me that this might happen, that you may try to stop me from being my best self.
She warned you about me? - Mm-hm.
- Brilliant.
I am just trying to prevent that culture-appropriating fake healer from taking advantage of you.
She said you're angry because you're not the center of attention.
And I think she's right.
That's just sad.
So, namaste.
You did what? I said to replace the sample with non-Carrington DNA, not dog DNA.
I thought you would appreciate that I went above and beyond.
There is no way the daddy DNA is gonna match the baby's.
Because it won't match any human DNA.
Okay, now the lab is gonna ask for more samples so that they can rerun the tests.
There's gotta be a way to save this.
I need you to keep trailing Cristal and see if you can't find out who that baby daddy could be.
Aside from Blake.
Okay, run along.
Get going.
[rap music playing.]
[Fallon.]
Wait, what happened to the giant battleships? I didn't realize by "cohosting," you meant taking over my game night.
Well I'm not taking it over.
I'm just making it larger-than-life.
Though I couldn't get jumbo Candy Land.
I was gonna have people dress up as the characters.
I always had a thing for Princess Frostine.
She is cute.
Wait.
So, all of this is for a reporter? No.
Well, technically, yes.
I just need him to write an article that Liam can read to see how great I'm doing.
Look, you are the one who said you're boycotting boys.
I need to make Liam see that he has no effect on me and he is missing out on the best Fallon Carrington.
One other thing to know: Tonight is also the launch party for my new business.
- You don't have a new business.
- Not yet.
But the night is young.
All I have to do is find someone here with a great idea, convince them to pretend I've always been their partner, and let Kenneth do the rest.
Sounds like a foolproof plan to me.
I don't need your sarcasm, Monica.
I need your help.
Please.
And a miracle.
[gasps.]
Speaking of miracles, the CEO of Spartan Force is coming.
This is shaping up to be the best fake launch party yet.
Thank you for letting me do this.
As if I had a choice.
Tell me you're not trying to pilfer another credit card.
I'm not pilfering anything, whatever that means.
- I'm trying to get Sam's stuff back.
- The things he willingly donated? To an Insta guru who says they're going to charity, but I highly doubt that.
Why do you doubt her? Sam seems happy.
I cross-referenced Lady Monk's feed with some other feeds.
There's just too many things that don't add up.
- All right.
Well, how can I be of help? - I already handled it.
His tablet he gave away is still on, and I pinged it.
It's wherever that is.
I can wait to get used at the next meeting.
- I didn't use you.
I used your idea.
- Without mentioning where you got it.
Hold on.
Is that what this is about? Credit and ego? I didn't realize it was that important to you.
I guess I should've seen it coming, given the games you played to get here.
I've learned those filthy games from a master: you.
I've also learned how to match you, Blake, so, watch out.
As far as ego, it's hard to tell whose is bigger: yours or your daughter's.
- Don't make this personal, Michael.
- It already is.
I've dealt with the two of you using me for years.
My days as a Carrington pawn are over.
So, what? - You're done with the team? - No.
But I am done with Fallon.
And I'm done with you treating me like I'm still your driver.
You're blowing this out of proportion.
It's just business.
Exactly.
And this is my opportunity to make something of myself.
And I'm not letting you get in the way.
So, if you want my expertise, you're gonna need to accept that we're partners.
[chattering.]
- That's right.
- I know.
Easy.
Hey, welcome to the launch of Fallon Unlimited.
Yeah, you really went all out here.
So, what was the thinking behind game night? Is this related to your new company, in some way? Well, once I reveal my concept to you and introduce you to my business partner, I think it'll all come together.
Let's get you a drink.
Or several.
[chuckles.]
Thank you so much for inviting me, Sam.
This gives me a chance to fund-raise for my charity, Lady Monk's Mindful Giving, and to spread my ideas to the uninitiated.
I think the tunics might be a little too biblical for this crowd.
Let's focus on finding people who are like-minded and open-minded.
Like her.
Isn't that your sister-in-law? Yeah, but that is not a mind you wanna open.
Trust me.
Why don't we try something new and split up? Double our reach, double our teach.
All right.
Well, I won't let you down.
[cell phone ringing.]
Carrington residence.
No, I'm not interested in a new cable company.
[ringing.]
Carrington residence.
Oh, I believe we're already given quite generously.
[ringing.]
Carrington residence.
This is Pacific North Bio Lab in Seattle.
I'm calling for Cristal Jennings.
Please hold.
Well, hello there.
This is Cristal.
Yes.
Mrs.
Jennings, we wanted to let you know that you need to resubmit your paternity test.
Unfortunately, the sample was contaminated.
Oh! How awful.
Well, I'm feeling a little nauseous at the moment.
You know, it's my first trimester.
Well, would y'all mind if I just transferred you to my husband? Well, my fiancé.
He's almost my husband.
All right.
One moment, please.
The new maid accidentally handed me the phone, but it's for Cristal.
Something about tests for the baby? This is Blake.
What do you mean, another sample? For what? A paternity test? I'm the father.
Why would she? Son of a bitch.
[chattering.]
It's sort of a hybrid tech-analog idea.
My favorite kind.
Are you looking for funding? It does involve a version of S and M using 4-D technology.
Because I don't have any funding.
- Is he your partner? - Him? [laughs.]
No.
I've been here for over an hour, and you still haven't told me the groundbreaking idea that's gonna relaunch Fallon Carrington to the world.
- Unless there isn't one.
- Oh, there is one.
Why else would I go through all this trouble? Oh, let me introduce you to Monica.
She is the club owner.
We've been friends since we were kids.
Monica Colby, this is Kenneth Desai, the reporter I was telling you about.
You throw a great party.
Really, it's all Fallon.
This is her launch.
Wait till you hear about her company.
It's gonna blow your mind.
- It's really a - Go back to work now, Monica.
Okay.
You know, Monica and I started a record label together.
- Who are your artists? - Uh - Fallon.
- Can I help you? Can you help me? A little in-joke between us girls.
Lady Monk, mindfulness specialist with a million Insta followers.
Fallon and I are collabing.
Partners.
- And you are? - Kenneth Desai, Contemporary Metro.
Excuse me, but Kenneth is interviewing me, Lady Granola.
- Come on.
- Hold on.
I'm glad to finally meet Fallon's partner.
I've been dying to hear all about this brilliant new company idea.
So, you threw everything away and now you're, what, hunting and gathering? No more gathering.
Just hunting for inner peace.
This has been a real trip, but I just contributed to Steven's foundation at the gala.
My checkbook is all worn out.
Sorry.
Namaste.
Are you gonna join me in bed, or just stare like a stalker? You just looked so serene.
Just so serene.
For someone who doesn't know whose baby they're carrying.
- How did you? - The lab called.
- About your paternity test.
- My God.
The results were contaminated.
They needed another sample.
- Blake.
- Were you gonna tell me? Or were you gonna let me carry another man's baby like Alexis? I was going to tell you if the baby wasn't yours.
But I think I feel in my heart it is yours.
It happened before I thought you and I could ever be together.
I went back to Arizona.
I saw my ex - Who the hell was that, huh, Cristal? - My ex-husband.
Mark Jennings.
We got married very young.
My parents partially owned a soccer team.
He was a player.
But they had a falling-out when he refused to throw a game for them.
They destroyed his career.
They would stop at nothing to ruin him.
It became too dangerous to be together.
We had to end it.
You had to? So, you still have feelings for him? No.
It was a long time ago.
- Clearly not that long ago.
- Blake, last time was a mistake.
I came back here and I completely fell for you.
You have to believe me.
I love you.
Please say something.
Anything.
This is fascinating.
You were mentioning something about a book? You caught me.
Lady Monk's brand is the company I've been hinting about.
And, yes, the book is gonna be huge.
We have a multi-platform attack scheduled so that we can take it international, as well.
We've been working on it for, what, months? We want to feature my philosophy and methods so that people can practice a mindful detachment at home.
I'm also working on an app.
"Fallon Carrington: from heiress to lifestyle savant.
" It's really surprising and interesting.
Not exactly the next logical step.
"Logic can take you from A to B.
But the imagination can take you everywhere.
" Einstein.
I'm curious about your initial investment in the project.
- We haven't really - Several million.
With a back end.
We are still working out the details, but, you know, details are just the grains of sand on the beach of life.
This is definitely an unexpected turn for the article.
I wanna run this new angle by my editor.
- Give me a minute? - Yeah.
I don't know who you are, but thank you very much for playing along.
- We need to talk about this more.
- There you are.
I didn't have any luck trying to find new clients or fund-raising.
Sorry.
But I have an idea.
I can give you money from the Steven Carrington Foundation so you can keep helping people.
I'm sorry.
Sam, we are discussing business, so, please take your toga party elsewhere.
This is my guru.
You can find your own.
- First of all, mindfulness specialist.
- Yeah.
And secondly, I can accept both of your investments and donations.
One Carrington's not enough? Trying to bag yourself a second? Kirby, you are making no sense.
This is no time for your crazy.
Right.
I'm sorry.
- Lady Monk here is a con artist.
- You're kidding.
- What? - Jealousy is so ugly - on such a beautiful face.
- I tracked your stuff to a warehouse.
It's all boxed up and ready to be shipped to a consignment store.
This is what she does.
She rips people off and has someone sell it online.
It's all here.
The proceeds from all of those sales are going to charities.
UNICEF, the Red Cross, all of them.
Right.
I'm sure once my father finishes tracking your money trail, we'll find that those proceeds go directly into your burlap pocket.
Oh, my God.
You convinced me to wear this ugly-ass outfit and to eat grass.
- I was about to give you millions.
- No, Sam.
Steven would be so proud of - Don't you dare bring him up.
- This is how she gets people.
When they're at their most vulnerable, which is clearly you two.
I mean, you miss your husband.
And you have barely left your room ever since Liam rejected you like a sad, moldy loaf of bread.
Well, that was a little harsh.
But true.
Look, I just met this crackpot five minutes ago.
I was so insecure that it was easier to let you convince me that I was the problem, but I'm not.
I mean, sure, I should be less materialistic, but I'm amazing, even if I'm work in progress, and Steven will realize that or not.
You even made me question my fashion sense.
Security.
Please get this pathetic Insta grifter out of here.
You're calling me pathetic? Look around.
You faked an entire party to impress one reporter? Takes a fraud to know a fraud.
You're the biggest one of them all, Fallon Carrington.
You're done.
Like I said, I do love a good party.
And I think I have everything I need.
Keep an eye out for the article.
It's gonna be a doozy.
- I just wanted to come by to - Just let me say what needs to be said.
I'm sorry I doubted you, Kirby.
I was just drowning in self-doubt and grasping at figurative straws when Well, when the real emotional lifeline I needed was here next to me the whole time.
You're the lifeline.
No one's ever said that about me.
I've always been the albatross or dead weight.
Or crazy Kirby.
But before I get weird and weepy, have you checked your Instagram today? No.
And the next time I check it will be the last time I check it.
- I'm deleting my account.
- You shouldn't.
Your Instagram is on fire.
Oh, my God.
How did this happen? When I got to the club, I put my phone on the bar to record Lady Shady's takedown.
I wanted to expose her.
But then you started exposing yourself in a way that felt more important and way cooler.
So, I posted it.
Now your hashtag-"love thyself" message is viral.
Or I look insane.
A hundred thousand views and 50,000 new followers beg to differ.
[knocking.]
- Permission to disturb? - Thank you for knocking.
Well, I know last night was a roller coaster.
More like a bungee jump without a bungee.
That's kind of an ominous visual.
Are you okay? If there's one thing I know for sure, it is that I am not okay.
You know, I spent a week in bed because of a guy, which is pathetic.
My business judgment is so off that I actually tried to make a deal with a woman who was clearly a fraud Hey, I fell for her too.
- Yeah, that doesn't really help me.
- Same.
I've been talking about doing all these things and haven't done any of them.
Now there's gonna be this article telling the world what a mess I am.
So things are good.
- How are you? - Well, crazily, my accidental self-love mantra is trending.
I never knew I could help other people just by telling it like it is.
- You're gonna be an influencer now? - I think I have to.
I have 421,489 followers.
And three sponsors have already sent me tunics.
- I would run from those.
- Never again.
Well, glad to see you've got it all figured out.
And to focus on the positive, I am going to start posting daily affirmations.
And I want the first one to be just for you.
You may be in a dark place right now, but the light will come.
You just need to find it.
- Dad? - There she is.
Knew you'd be back on top, back in fighting shape in no time.
Actually, I'm not.
I am not on top, and I am definitely not in good shape.
Everyone was right about me.
I need your help, Daddy.
- Blake, I - Before you say anything, I just wanna tell you I'm sorry I stormed out before.
- I needed space.
- I understand.
I thought I could wrap my head around the possibility that baby might not be mine.
But I saw the pain Steven felt about his confused parentage.
On top of that, you kept this a secret.
And how can I believe you now? - You say that Mark is out of your life - I'm telling the truth.
There is no Mark Jennings in my heart.
But I can only say it so many times in so many ways.
I found out that some guy named Mark Jennings could be the baby daddy.
- I'm guessing it's her ex-husband.
- There's more.
It wasn't easy, but I've got friends in all places.
I talked to my buddy who knows the barber who cuts the hair of a chef that works at the mayor's favorite restaurant, and he told me Can you get to the point? You really know how to suck the fun out of big reveals.
Mark Jennings' last contact.
Please leave.
[keypad beeping.]
Hello.
Is this Mark? [Blake.]
I was thinking about what you said yesterday, and I agree.
Partners should work together and respect one another.
- I'm glad to hear you say that.
- But let me remind you, you had one good move that got you this job, so, I figure I owe you one of my own before we get back to even again.
- What are you talking about? - You're in the big leagues now.
- Oh, hell, no.
- Oh, hell, no.
[closing theme playing.]