Good Girls (2018) s02e12 Episode Script
Jeff
Previously, on "Good Girls" It's a serial number.
She keeps records of her cash? They're counterfeiters.
You said you needed a retainer, so this should cover it.
I'm a D-bag, so I know when I see one.
Noah is FBI.
I told him stuff.
- He's not my boyfriend anymore.
- Maybe he should be.
- It would get him off our trail.
- With my vagina? I want to make it as easy as possible for the kids.
I need to protect my family.
I would have made you so happy.
- What are you doing? - It was an accident.
Yeah, I mean, he he ran behind the car.
Yeah.
She murdered him, Beth.
We were about to do the same thing.
- Yeah, but we didn't.
- We made her call him.
What are we supposed to do with this? - One - Oh, God, whoa! Two, three! It's Boomer.
I mean, it has to be, right? Yeah, I figured I'd hold onto it for a bit.
You know, just to be safe.
One man's trash If he didn't have that body, he couldn't hold it over us.
Cooper's dog is eating your new flowers.
What color was Boomer's hair? You'll never get me! You'll never take me alive! You want some? You want some? How about you? You want some? No You can't get me! - Hey, Mom.
- Hey, wash up, boys.
- What's for dinner? - Macaroni.
- Where's Daddy? - Sleeping.
- Where? - On the grass.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Jeff! Okay, okay.
- 911, what's your emergency? - Um, it's my husband.
- He - Yes, ma'am? Ma'am, are you there? Ma'am, are you okay? What happened? Nothing, sorry.
Huh.
Hi, it's me again.
So I'm just going to say this because I don't know if you're, like, in a meeting or something, but, um we have a little bit of a problem.
I mean, it's not a problem yet, but it is definitely a situation.
Um, so you know that jacket you wanted us to get rid of a while back? We may have thrown away the wrong jacket, and we obviously need to find the right one before someone else does, so if you could call me back so we could discuss this matter in more detail, that would - Hey, sorry.
- Hi.
Uh, they're all ready when you are.
Okay, one second.
Okay, thank you.
The most important thing is it is not your fault.
You are allowed to feel sad, okay? Or angry.
We love you more than anything.
And we are going to get through this as a family.
Does anyone have any questions? Do we get two Christmases? - Uh - Um It's What about birthdays? Presents come from both of you, right? So if you're not married, then we should get double.
- And two parties! - Yeah! Yay! These-these are all smart questions.
Does anyone have a question that doesn't involve presents? Okay.
- If anything comes to mind - Who's moving out? No one yet.
Are you mad at Daddy because he got a new job? No! Don't be silly.
- Do you still love each other? - Oh, buddy, yes.
Of course we do.
Then why can't you just say you're sorry? That's what you tell us to do.
It's complicated.
No, it's not.
Sometimes, grown-ups realize they want different things.
So what do you want? What's going on here? Nothing.
So we meet.
You seduce me on top of some produce.
You break up with me.
Then you get me drunk, have your way with me.
And you're complaining? I'm just confused.
I date a lot of guys who pretend to be something that they're not.
Here's the thing with me.
What you see is what you get.
Romans, 7:15.
"I do not understand my own actions, "for I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
"So now, it is no longer I who do it, but the sin that dwells within me.
" - We are all sinners.
- Amen.
But continuing to do it, whatever it is we're doing, day after day, week after week, when we know better.
Come on now, hm? That, my brothers and sisters, may be the biggest sin of all.
- Who's with me? - Amen.
Let us pray.
- But I want juice and cookies! - We'll have some at home.
All right, let's hustle up, team.
We don't have cookies at home.
- We'll make some.
- We're out of flour.
- We'll get some.
- We're out of butter too.
Hey, would you please go get your damn coats, please? - I'll buy you a cookie, okay? - It's a great sermon, huh? Oh, I love it when a reverend tells it like it is.
- Is it usually that raunchy? - Yes.
Is he going to take Daddy again? No, everything's fine.
I'm still hoping we can work it out.
You know what? These cookies, they're on me.
Hey, man, we don't want your money.
Good, because this ain't real money.
- You know what this is? - Stan.
Uh-oh, she knows.
Let's go.
- Let's just go, baby.
- This here is motive.
The grocery store manager figured out your hustle, - so he had to go, right? - What are you talking about? I'm saying when there's motive, you don't really need a body anymore.
What do you want from us? I want you home making cookies with your kids, but you only get that if you take my deal.
It's Sunday, man.
The train is leaving the station.
I'm trying to save you guys a couple of seats.
Talk to our lawyer.
You play Monopoly? Because this here is Monopoly money.
- American - Wheel Deal! Hey, you got that guarantee? Upfront pricing can't be beat! Do you have a car for me? Yes, we do.
We guarantee! I'm ready to go.
Are you guys ready to go? - Yes! - Get out there! - Hey, yeah, all right.
- All right.
Hey, don't worry.
You'll you'll get it.
- It's so clever.
- Hm.
Hey, what gets you out of bed, man? - Usually my kids.
- Walk with me.
Or I've got this app on my phone that plays, like, sounds of, like, the forest.
No, no, I'm saying, what what puts your feet on the ground and gets that heart pumping? Making deals? That's what I'm talking about.
- Yeah, I'm a closer, dog.
- Ooh, yeah! I've been moving cars longer than some of these kids have been alive.
- Sing it, sister.
- I can sell snow to an Eskimo! Now, we don't do that here.
What do you mean? - I know it says that, but - It's-it's our promise.
Oh.
Well, where's the fun in that? Hey, you got that guarantee? Upfront pricing can't be beat! Do you have a car for me? Yes, we do.
We guarantee! Welcome aboard.
Mary Pat! Open up! It's real dark in this hellhole.
There are no diapers in her trash.
- Just a bunch of coupons.
- When did they expire? - Like, two months ago.
- No! - Where is this bitch? - I don't know.
But she is going to go down for this, because at this point, the only murder that I would willingly do time for is hers.
And then he'd have us on three bodies.
Two of them we have nothing to do with! She kills Boomer and then gives us some rando? I mean, how many bodies does she have in there? Turner doesn't care.
You should have seen his face.
Okay, bye.
Thinks she's got it all wrapped up with a little bow.
What are you doing? Oh.
What the hell? What is she doing? Oh.
Smart.
Jesus.
Funny money is popping up all over.
See if you can tie it back.
Okay.
Maybe you didn't totally get it, but I wasn't actually talking about a jacket.
Hel hello? This mailbox is full.
It's doing that thing again! - Okay.
- What? Dude, you've gone full Favreau.
You got to chill.
- It's on him, too.
- All right.
- He needs to know.
- I think he probably knows.
You left him 30 messages.
Can I please have my phone back? I am totally chill! I am allowed to be not chill.
I'm about to be arrested for murder.
And if homie gave two craps, you would have heard something.
Come on, who doesn't love a free pancake breakfast? With Jesus, no less.
Yo, check it.
I don't know, you guys.
I'm not sure.
You're gonna to have to ask him yourself, because I don't know if Jesus eats sausage.
But I do know that he drinks red wine, and those things go together great, so probably Not on my watch! That bitch moves like a gazelle.
Hi, guys.
How's school? Okay, one at a time.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
You don't want juice and crackers? We have a tree house out back.
Start talking.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - What's that? - Ice cream.
Yeah, other other freezer.
- Is Daddy with Santa Claus? - Yep.
And I bet he's met the tooth fairy, too.
- No way.
- Way.
Why can't I tell my class? Well, because even though Daddy is in heaven, - he's still helping us.
- How? He pays for this house and your toys.
The ice cream.
And if people knew that he was gone, then he couldn't help us anymore.
Does that make sense? Can I have sprinkles? Yeah! I mean, it wouldn't be ice cream without sprinkles, right? Hey, little man.
Where's my sundae? Is he my new Daddy? No one's ever going to replace your daddy, okay? Who is he, then? He's just a special friend.
Hey, open up! Where do you think you're going, huh? Stupid bitch, open the damn door! Let's go! What the hell? Okay.
Sure.
Thank you, I yeah, I just didn't know who else to call, so All right, I'll I'll see you soon, then.
Okay.
- Mom, we're hungry.
- Oh.
Well, what are we waiting for, right? Let's get you out of here, get inside.
Okay, can you get the door? Hey, here.
Take take that.
Okay.
Hold on, now.
Wait for me.
I didn't want it to smell.
- Okay.
- And, um Jeff used used to hunt, so we have um, we have a a meat freezer.
Well, that still makes sense.
Yeah, except he just got so bloated.
I think that's because, um you know, all the gasses that get, like, trapped inside.
So, then he then he wouldn't fit.
What do you mean? I mean, there was just, like like too much of him to you know.
- At first.
- Oh, no, no, no.
You know those, um those electric knives like you use at like, at Thanksgiving? Any questions? So we call the cops.
- We do? - Yeah.
You want to explain that we dumped the wrong body? You'd rather get put away for murdering a guy who's not dead? I don't want to go away for anything.
She chopped up her husband into tiny little pieces and stored him like a TV dinner, then ran over her boyfriend.
She's a "Dateline" story.
She is crazy.
She is, like She's a victim.
Boomer raped her.
Where are you going? He's out there, living it up, while we take the fall.
He's going to get us out of this.
Excuse me.
I want my mommy.
Okay.
I'll go get her.
You stay here.
She got a little tied up.
- Hey, Jonathan.
- Hey, what's up, Sasha? Hey, yay yay! - Hey.
- Hey.
Heard you made a sale.
Put an extra three grand in your pocket.
What does "no haggle" mean to you, Dean? Oh, believe me, there was no haggling.
Guy didn't know what hit him.
It-it's not what we do.
Our customers trust us because when they come in, they get the listed price.
And what do you do? You you go and sell for more.
You're going to call the guy back.
- The hell I am.
- You're going to give him a refund.
- How old are you, Calvin? - I'm 26.
Let me paint you a picture of the next 26.
You're going to wake up with a house full of kids you have to feed and a wife who hates you.
And what's the one thing that's going to get you out of bed every single morning? It won't be toeing the company line with these other sheep.
Why don't you take five in the Wheel Deal lounge? People pay for what they love, and it's my job to make them love it.
That's the art.
I can't sell cars from a vending machine.
- Okay, you won't.
- Thank you.
Because you don't work here anymore.
There's a charge on my credit card bill that I don't recognize.
Can you call again? Marion, I think you should sit down.
Industrial Power something.
Yeah, but that's not the people I use.
Leslie's alive.
This cook top is driving me crazy.
I can never get this thing clean.
It's caked in grease.
Listen, I I really need to find him.
Maybe if if you really go at it with the steel wool like you did the last time.
- Have you seen him? - Maybe even a sharp knife.
Harold used a chopstick once.
Marion, did you hear what I said? How do you know? - I just know.
- That can't be true.
It is, Marion.
So he would let me cry myself to sleep for months without even so much as a phone call? I'm sorry.
There's oatmeal raisin in the icebox.
Take some for your son.
You know, and now, he's coming to our place of worship.
You know, when our kids are there.
I mean, this man is out of control.
Is Tara sick or something? We haven't gotten our coffee yet.
He needs to be put in his place.
She's usually taken our order by now, so Yo, can we sue him? Yeah, for, like, harassment or something? There there were witnesses there, right? Oh, I'm going to have a chat with him in the morning.
Yes, see, now, that's what I'm talking about.
I'm going in to be deposed.
Um, hold on.
What what about attorney/client privilege? Can they just do that? Oh, they can do it when a firm deposits 30 grand in counterfeit cash.
You're going to need a good lawyer.
Can I have another meatball? Of course.
So is this where we're going to eat? What do you mean? Like, now that you're divorced.
I just thought it would be nice.
So how was everybody's day? Uh Oh, no.
No, no, don't don't rub it in.
It'll make it worse.
Kenny, go get some club soda.
How was your day, dear? I'm sorry, I have to take this.
What's up? - Did you get my messages? - Yeah, I'm here, right? I left 15.
And a few with the emoji's eyes crossed out.
- Where were you? - I was at Legoland.
Are you serious? Yeah, it's a really nice place.
- You went on vacation? - Yeah, with my kid.
- Sounds fun.
- Yeah, yeah, it's real dope.
You know, everything is Lego there.
They got a Lego Vegas Strip, Golden Gate Bridge.
I'm about to be arrested for murder.
That sucks.
And you couldn't return a text? Hey, I don't work while on vacation.
That's what I am? Work? Pretty much, yeah.
That's it? That's it.
Oh, one thing you should know.
Your money's cooked.
The feds know everything.
Welcome back, boss.
Did you see that combo? Oh, this is just way harder sober.
Come on, get in on this! What are you doing? How do you know if a melon is ripe? - What? - Just tell me.
You smell the rind.
And how long is milk good after its sell-by date? - What what is this? - Just tell me.
- How many days? - I don't know.
You know why that is? Because you are a terrible grocery store manager.
You had to turn the shower on to tell me that? And you're FBI! I'm going to need you to say it.
I love you.
So what happens next? Your friend paid her lawyer in counterfeit.
And that's going to link you to the murder.
I meant with us.
We'll figure something out.
If by "figure something out," you mean "turn on my sister" We'll figure something else out.
Are you guys taking a shower? - Uh, yeah.
- No, no.
There was a weird bug in the tub, and it wouldn't go down the drain.
Yeah, we we almost got him.
Okay, that's also weird.
I can do that.
I put your, uh, plate in the oven.
The kids are already up in bed.
Are you okay? I don't want to work for anyone else.
Me neither.
So what do you want? I want to keep my kids.
I I found this thing online.
It's called, I don't know, 223, or something.
Anyways, we would rent a place, and the kids would stay here.
And then you and I would switch off every couple of days, and, you know, split weekends and holidays and stuff.
Okay.
But we would have to figure some stuff out.
Thank you.
I got fired.
Those shirts are stupid, anyway.
He asleep? He's doing that fake snoring thing, and I definitely felt action figures under the pillow.
Oh, yeah, them things came out as soon as you shut the door.
So what do you want to do here? When was the last time we checked these things? - Um, never.
- Okay.
I'm doing the kids' rooms, too.
There are other lawyers, right? Oh, um I also swapped out the outside lights for LEDs, so those'll be good for, like, another five years.
- We got to get one.
- I already got one, babe.
I called the court-appointed guy back.
- He wants you to plead guilty.
- Hear me out.
- No.
- It's it's five years max.
If I go in before Christmas, I'll be out before Sara graduates.
- Absolutely not.
- I'll still be here in time enough to teach Little Money how to drive.
You know that's going to be an ordeal, because my man can't even ride his bike straight, so Can I sleep in your bed? - No.
- Sure.
But if I get kicked in the head, you get kicked to the curb.
Deal.
- Oh, what on Earth? - Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I wake you? What what are you doing? I get you groceries.
I pick up your dry cleaning.
And the appointments, Jesus.
You spend more time at the doctor and who even goes to the post office anymore? You know you can just do it all online.
- Well, I like to visit.
- Thank you, I'm aware of that.
You introduce me to every single person every time we're there! - What is this all about? - And you know the worst part? I was happy to do it.
Because I thought we were friends.
We are friends.
- Where is he? - Who? I am so sick of everyone lying to me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Okay, okay, so the the Fleshlight is yours? - What flashlight? - Not flash.
Flesh, with an E.
- I don't even know - Boomer bought it! There is literally no other explanation! My credit card was stolen at the salon.
They fired the girl in front.
Besides that.
I-I'm sorry.
I-I think you should leave.
Marion, I thought you might want your key back.
Annie Banannie.
She keeps records of her cash? They're counterfeiters.
You said you needed a retainer, so this should cover it.
I'm a D-bag, so I know when I see one.
Noah is FBI.
I told him stuff.
- He's not my boyfriend anymore.
- Maybe he should be.
- It would get him off our trail.
- With my vagina? I want to make it as easy as possible for the kids.
I need to protect my family.
I would have made you so happy.
- What are you doing? - It was an accident.
Yeah, I mean, he he ran behind the car.
Yeah.
She murdered him, Beth.
We were about to do the same thing.
- Yeah, but we didn't.
- We made her call him.
What are we supposed to do with this? - One - Oh, God, whoa! Two, three! It's Boomer.
I mean, it has to be, right? Yeah, I figured I'd hold onto it for a bit.
You know, just to be safe.
One man's trash If he didn't have that body, he couldn't hold it over us.
Cooper's dog is eating your new flowers.
What color was Boomer's hair? You'll never get me! You'll never take me alive! You want some? You want some? How about you? You want some? No You can't get me! - Hey, Mom.
- Hey, wash up, boys.
- What's for dinner? - Macaroni.
- Where's Daddy? - Sleeping.
- Where? - On the grass.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Jeff! Okay, okay.
- 911, what's your emergency? - Um, it's my husband.
- He - Yes, ma'am? Ma'am, are you there? Ma'am, are you okay? What happened? Nothing, sorry.
Huh.
Hi, it's me again.
So I'm just going to say this because I don't know if you're, like, in a meeting or something, but, um we have a little bit of a problem.
I mean, it's not a problem yet, but it is definitely a situation.
Um, so you know that jacket you wanted us to get rid of a while back? We may have thrown away the wrong jacket, and we obviously need to find the right one before someone else does, so if you could call me back so we could discuss this matter in more detail, that would - Hey, sorry.
- Hi.
Uh, they're all ready when you are.
Okay, one second.
Okay, thank you.
The most important thing is it is not your fault.
You are allowed to feel sad, okay? Or angry.
We love you more than anything.
And we are going to get through this as a family.
Does anyone have any questions? Do we get two Christmases? - Uh - Um It's What about birthdays? Presents come from both of you, right? So if you're not married, then we should get double.
- And two parties! - Yeah! Yay! These-these are all smart questions.
Does anyone have a question that doesn't involve presents? Okay.
- If anything comes to mind - Who's moving out? No one yet.
Are you mad at Daddy because he got a new job? No! Don't be silly.
- Do you still love each other? - Oh, buddy, yes.
Of course we do.
Then why can't you just say you're sorry? That's what you tell us to do.
It's complicated.
No, it's not.
Sometimes, grown-ups realize they want different things.
So what do you want? What's going on here? Nothing.
So we meet.
You seduce me on top of some produce.
You break up with me.
Then you get me drunk, have your way with me.
And you're complaining? I'm just confused.
I date a lot of guys who pretend to be something that they're not.
Here's the thing with me.
What you see is what you get.
Romans, 7:15.
"I do not understand my own actions, "for I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
"So now, it is no longer I who do it, but the sin that dwells within me.
" - We are all sinners.
- Amen.
But continuing to do it, whatever it is we're doing, day after day, week after week, when we know better.
Come on now, hm? That, my brothers and sisters, may be the biggest sin of all.
- Who's with me? - Amen.
Let us pray.
- But I want juice and cookies! - We'll have some at home.
All right, let's hustle up, team.
We don't have cookies at home.
- We'll make some.
- We're out of flour.
- We'll get some.
- We're out of butter too.
Hey, would you please go get your damn coats, please? - I'll buy you a cookie, okay? - It's a great sermon, huh? Oh, I love it when a reverend tells it like it is.
- Is it usually that raunchy? - Yes.
Is he going to take Daddy again? No, everything's fine.
I'm still hoping we can work it out.
You know what? These cookies, they're on me.
Hey, man, we don't want your money.
Good, because this ain't real money.
- You know what this is? - Stan.
Uh-oh, she knows.
Let's go.
- Let's just go, baby.
- This here is motive.
The grocery store manager figured out your hustle, - so he had to go, right? - What are you talking about? I'm saying when there's motive, you don't really need a body anymore.
What do you want from us? I want you home making cookies with your kids, but you only get that if you take my deal.
It's Sunday, man.
The train is leaving the station.
I'm trying to save you guys a couple of seats.
Talk to our lawyer.
You play Monopoly? Because this here is Monopoly money.
- American - Wheel Deal! Hey, you got that guarantee? Upfront pricing can't be beat! Do you have a car for me? Yes, we do.
We guarantee! I'm ready to go.
Are you guys ready to go? - Yes! - Get out there! - Hey, yeah, all right.
- All right.
Hey, don't worry.
You'll you'll get it.
- It's so clever.
- Hm.
Hey, what gets you out of bed, man? - Usually my kids.
- Walk with me.
Or I've got this app on my phone that plays, like, sounds of, like, the forest.
No, no, I'm saying, what what puts your feet on the ground and gets that heart pumping? Making deals? That's what I'm talking about.
- Yeah, I'm a closer, dog.
- Ooh, yeah! I've been moving cars longer than some of these kids have been alive.
- Sing it, sister.
- I can sell snow to an Eskimo! Now, we don't do that here.
What do you mean? - I know it says that, but - It's-it's our promise.
Oh.
Well, where's the fun in that? Hey, you got that guarantee? Upfront pricing can't be beat! Do you have a car for me? Yes, we do.
We guarantee! Welcome aboard.
Mary Pat! Open up! It's real dark in this hellhole.
There are no diapers in her trash.
- Just a bunch of coupons.
- When did they expire? - Like, two months ago.
- No! - Where is this bitch? - I don't know.
But she is going to go down for this, because at this point, the only murder that I would willingly do time for is hers.
And then he'd have us on three bodies.
Two of them we have nothing to do with! She kills Boomer and then gives us some rando? I mean, how many bodies does she have in there? Turner doesn't care.
You should have seen his face.
Okay, bye.
Thinks she's got it all wrapped up with a little bow.
What are you doing? Oh.
What the hell? What is she doing? Oh.
Smart.
Jesus.
Funny money is popping up all over.
See if you can tie it back.
Okay.
Maybe you didn't totally get it, but I wasn't actually talking about a jacket.
Hel hello? This mailbox is full.
It's doing that thing again! - Okay.
- What? Dude, you've gone full Favreau.
You got to chill.
- It's on him, too.
- All right.
- He needs to know.
- I think he probably knows.
You left him 30 messages.
Can I please have my phone back? I am totally chill! I am allowed to be not chill.
I'm about to be arrested for murder.
And if homie gave two craps, you would have heard something.
Come on, who doesn't love a free pancake breakfast? With Jesus, no less.
Yo, check it.
I don't know, you guys.
I'm not sure.
You're gonna to have to ask him yourself, because I don't know if Jesus eats sausage.
But I do know that he drinks red wine, and those things go together great, so probably Not on my watch! That bitch moves like a gazelle.
Hi, guys.
How's school? Okay, one at a time.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
You don't want juice and crackers? We have a tree house out back.
Start talking.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - What's that? - Ice cream.
Yeah, other other freezer.
- Is Daddy with Santa Claus? - Yep.
And I bet he's met the tooth fairy, too.
- No way.
- Way.
Why can't I tell my class? Well, because even though Daddy is in heaven, - he's still helping us.
- How? He pays for this house and your toys.
The ice cream.
And if people knew that he was gone, then he couldn't help us anymore.
Does that make sense? Can I have sprinkles? Yeah! I mean, it wouldn't be ice cream without sprinkles, right? Hey, little man.
Where's my sundae? Is he my new Daddy? No one's ever going to replace your daddy, okay? Who is he, then? He's just a special friend.
Hey, open up! Where do you think you're going, huh? Stupid bitch, open the damn door! Let's go! What the hell? Okay.
Sure.
Thank you, I yeah, I just didn't know who else to call, so All right, I'll I'll see you soon, then.
Okay.
- Mom, we're hungry.
- Oh.
Well, what are we waiting for, right? Let's get you out of here, get inside.
Okay, can you get the door? Hey, here.
Take take that.
Okay.
Hold on, now.
Wait for me.
I didn't want it to smell.
- Okay.
- And, um Jeff used used to hunt, so we have um, we have a a meat freezer.
Well, that still makes sense.
Yeah, except he just got so bloated.
I think that's because, um you know, all the gasses that get, like, trapped inside.
So, then he then he wouldn't fit.
What do you mean? I mean, there was just, like like too much of him to you know.
- At first.
- Oh, no, no, no.
You know those, um those electric knives like you use at like, at Thanksgiving? Any questions? So we call the cops.
- We do? - Yeah.
You want to explain that we dumped the wrong body? You'd rather get put away for murdering a guy who's not dead? I don't want to go away for anything.
She chopped up her husband into tiny little pieces and stored him like a TV dinner, then ran over her boyfriend.
She's a "Dateline" story.
She is crazy.
She is, like She's a victim.
Boomer raped her.
Where are you going? He's out there, living it up, while we take the fall.
He's going to get us out of this.
Excuse me.
I want my mommy.
Okay.
I'll go get her.
You stay here.
She got a little tied up.
- Hey, Jonathan.
- Hey, what's up, Sasha? Hey, yay yay! - Hey.
- Hey.
Heard you made a sale.
Put an extra three grand in your pocket.
What does "no haggle" mean to you, Dean? Oh, believe me, there was no haggling.
Guy didn't know what hit him.
It-it's not what we do.
Our customers trust us because when they come in, they get the listed price.
And what do you do? You you go and sell for more.
You're going to call the guy back.
- The hell I am.
- You're going to give him a refund.
- How old are you, Calvin? - I'm 26.
Let me paint you a picture of the next 26.
You're going to wake up with a house full of kids you have to feed and a wife who hates you.
And what's the one thing that's going to get you out of bed every single morning? It won't be toeing the company line with these other sheep.
Why don't you take five in the Wheel Deal lounge? People pay for what they love, and it's my job to make them love it.
That's the art.
I can't sell cars from a vending machine.
- Okay, you won't.
- Thank you.
Because you don't work here anymore.
There's a charge on my credit card bill that I don't recognize.
Can you call again? Marion, I think you should sit down.
Industrial Power something.
Yeah, but that's not the people I use.
Leslie's alive.
This cook top is driving me crazy.
I can never get this thing clean.
It's caked in grease.
Listen, I I really need to find him.
Maybe if if you really go at it with the steel wool like you did the last time.
- Have you seen him? - Maybe even a sharp knife.
Harold used a chopstick once.
Marion, did you hear what I said? How do you know? - I just know.
- That can't be true.
It is, Marion.
So he would let me cry myself to sleep for months without even so much as a phone call? I'm sorry.
There's oatmeal raisin in the icebox.
Take some for your son.
You know, and now, he's coming to our place of worship.
You know, when our kids are there.
I mean, this man is out of control.
Is Tara sick or something? We haven't gotten our coffee yet.
He needs to be put in his place.
She's usually taken our order by now, so Yo, can we sue him? Yeah, for, like, harassment or something? There there were witnesses there, right? Oh, I'm going to have a chat with him in the morning.
Yes, see, now, that's what I'm talking about.
I'm going in to be deposed.
Um, hold on.
What what about attorney/client privilege? Can they just do that? Oh, they can do it when a firm deposits 30 grand in counterfeit cash.
You're going to need a good lawyer.
Can I have another meatball? Of course.
So is this where we're going to eat? What do you mean? Like, now that you're divorced.
I just thought it would be nice.
So how was everybody's day? Uh Oh, no.
No, no, don't don't rub it in.
It'll make it worse.
Kenny, go get some club soda.
How was your day, dear? I'm sorry, I have to take this.
What's up? - Did you get my messages? - Yeah, I'm here, right? I left 15.
And a few with the emoji's eyes crossed out.
- Where were you? - I was at Legoland.
Are you serious? Yeah, it's a really nice place.
- You went on vacation? - Yeah, with my kid.
- Sounds fun.
- Yeah, yeah, it's real dope.
You know, everything is Lego there.
They got a Lego Vegas Strip, Golden Gate Bridge.
I'm about to be arrested for murder.
That sucks.
And you couldn't return a text? Hey, I don't work while on vacation.
That's what I am? Work? Pretty much, yeah.
That's it? That's it.
Oh, one thing you should know.
Your money's cooked.
The feds know everything.
Welcome back, boss.
Did you see that combo? Oh, this is just way harder sober.
Come on, get in on this! What are you doing? How do you know if a melon is ripe? - What? - Just tell me.
You smell the rind.
And how long is milk good after its sell-by date? - What what is this? - Just tell me.
- How many days? - I don't know.
You know why that is? Because you are a terrible grocery store manager.
You had to turn the shower on to tell me that? And you're FBI! I'm going to need you to say it.
I love you.
So what happens next? Your friend paid her lawyer in counterfeit.
And that's going to link you to the murder.
I meant with us.
We'll figure something out.
If by "figure something out," you mean "turn on my sister" We'll figure something else out.
Are you guys taking a shower? - Uh, yeah.
- No, no.
There was a weird bug in the tub, and it wouldn't go down the drain.
Yeah, we we almost got him.
Okay, that's also weird.
I can do that.
I put your, uh, plate in the oven.
The kids are already up in bed.
Are you okay? I don't want to work for anyone else.
Me neither.
So what do you want? I want to keep my kids.
I I found this thing online.
It's called, I don't know, 223, or something.
Anyways, we would rent a place, and the kids would stay here.
And then you and I would switch off every couple of days, and, you know, split weekends and holidays and stuff.
Okay.
But we would have to figure some stuff out.
Thank you.
I got fired.
Those shirts are stupid, anyway.
He asleep? He's doing that fake snoring thing, and I definitely felt action figures under the pillow.
Oh, yeah, them things came out as soon as you shut the door.
So what do you want to do here? When was the last time we checked these things? - Um, never.
- Okay.
I'm doing the kids' rooms, too.
There are other lawyers, right? Oh, um I also swapped out the outside lights for LEDs, so those'll be good for, like, another five years.
- We got to get one.
- I already got one, babe.
I called the court-appointed guy back.
- He wants you to plead guilty.
- Hear me out.
- No.
- It's it's five years max.
If I go in before Christmas, I'll be out before Sara graduates.
- Absolutely not.
- I'll still be here in time enough to teach Little Money how to drive.
You know that's going to be an ordeal, because my man can't even ride his bike straight, so Can I sleep in your bed? - No.
- Sure.
But if I get kicked in the head, you get kicked to the curb.
Deal.
- Oh, what on Earth? - Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I wake you? What what are you doing? I get you groceries.
I pick up your dry cleaning.
And the appointments, Jesus.
You spend more time at the doctor and who even goes to the post office anymore? You know you can just do it all online.
- Well, I like to visit.
- Thank you, I'm aware of that.
You introduce me to every single person every time we're there! - What is this all about? - And you know the worst part? I was happy to do it.
Because I thought we were friends.
We are friends.
- Where is he? - Who? I am so sick of everyone lying to me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Okay, okay, so the the Fleshlight is yours? - What flashlight? - Not flash.
Flesh, with an E.
- I don't even know - Boomer bought it! There is literally no other explanation! My credit card was stolen at the salon.
They fired the girl in front.
Besides that.
I-I'm sorry.
I-I think you should leave.
Marion, I thought you might want your key back.
Annie Banannie.