Harvey Beaks (2015) s02e12 Episode Script

1 [cheerful music.]
# Harvey # # Harvey # # Harvey # Uh, well, uh, the first time - that I heard Lunar Moth - It changed my life.
There's that song [together.]
# Roddy, roddy, bock, bock, bock # - # Roddy, bock, bock, bock # - Bock, bock, joddy, Bock, bock, bock, bock, bock And their other songs, but I really only know that one.
Why would you even ask? I would never listen to that evil music! Those sick beats, mate.
They just rock! [melodically grunting.]
- Mom! We gotta hurry! - Mom, I have to go.
You remembered to lock Michelle's crib, right? [crashing, screaming.]
Gotta go, bye.
[phone beeps.]
Yes! Freedom from the cage of parenthood! Oh, except you, Harvey, I love you! I love you, too.
[guitar riff reverberates.]
Wow! There's so much rock in the air tonight.
I wanna reach out and touch it! [straining efforts.]
Your old man's played a few of these gigs himself.
Mikey's party, that other birthday party.
Yes, dear, we all know how wonderful your band is.
But the Lunar Moths are so hunky.
I'm so ready.
I know all the rules.
No mosh pits, no strangers, and always carry a lot of hand sanitizer.
Hello there.
It's my first concert! - Hah, you're gonna love it, kid.
- Oh, yeah! # Yeah # [heavy rock music.]
[gasps.]
[crowd chanting.]
[crowd cheering.]
Hello, Littlebark! Now who's ready for Lunar Moth? [cheering.]
Okay, but first we have someone ever better! Please welcome my wonderful Dad, I'm not ready! Beautiful, talented, uh, wonderfbeauti did I saybeautiful Okay, I'm ready! Go away! Please welcome Princess! Everyone here is ugly and I hate you! [beatboxing to hip-hop music.]
So are we in section "Rock," "Roll," or "Rock N' Roll"? Hmm, this ticket says "Rocky Road.
" Let me see that.
Irving, that's a frozen yogurt stamp card.
Oh, ha, right.
[humming.]
Here you go.
One official Lunar Moth mask.
Now you look just like the band! Yay! [gasps.]
[shimmering tone.]
[sighs.]
Son, what's wrong? It's just, I feel so bad for all the kids who don't have an official Lunar Moth mask.
Well, they're just not gonna have as good of a time as you.
I think our seats are over here.
Hey, guys, wait! Can I get one of those helmets? - Yay! [laughs.]
- Oh, yes! Yes! Oh, I don't know, Harvey.
We haven't even found our seats yet.
Irving! I can't believe you.
I got an official Lunar Moth helmet at my first concert.
And it was hardcore.
And my son's gonna be hardcore, too! [gasps.]
Please, Dad? Can I be hardcore? Okay.
[rock music playing.]
Hey, this line doesn't look so bad! Hah, yeah, when I was in a band we didn't, uh we didn't sell a lot of merch.
But didn't make it any less cool.
Right, Harvey? Both: Harvey! [humming.]
[gasps.]
You're not my dad! You're not my son! [all yelp.]
We don't have a son.
[grunting.]
Mom? Dad? Mom? Mom? Harvey! The crowd is toothick! Go to our seats! I don't know where the seats are! We'll meet up with youlater! Mom? Dad? [grunts.]
[panting.]
Aah! No! No, what are they doing? I don't understand! [screaming.]
[grunts, groans.]
Oh, no! No! [panting.]
Uhh! Oh, that's wet! Disinfect, disinfect, disinfect! [panting.]
All right.
Just say calm.
I've got my belly bag.
I have my will.
I'm just gonna go back out there and find Mom and Dad.
How much are these masks again? I told you.
25 bucks.
Aw, for $25, this thing better fit my kid's head.
Whoa, he's gonna need the large.
50 bucks.
Both: What? Mom? Dad? Uh, excuse me.
Have you seen my parents? [both scream.]
[grunting.]
Hey! Oh, no, I've heard of this.
Aggressive kicking, carefree spinning, reckless shoving! It's a mosh pit! [crowd yelling.]
[screams.]
# Ohh, yeah # Uh! Oh, no! Don't stomp on me! I don't wanna be a mosh potato.
I've got what you need don't you pick on me Ohh, gross! Gotta get some hand sanitizer from my belly bag.
No! [panting.]
Help! Help! My hands are dirty! [gasps.]
[laughing.]
Uh Ha! Claire? Piri Piri? I caught the rock and roll bug.
And I got hit by a brick.
[chuckles.]
Do you need some help with something, sweetheart? [screaming.]
[panting.]
Oh! Hey, why isn't this beach ball in the air? What? No! [grunting.]
It's just, I want Harvey to have a good time, but not $50 of a good time.
Isn't there any way we can lower the price? - Maybe slip you a 50? - Irving! [screaming.]
Put me down! [beatboxing.]
[screaming.]
Hey! [grunting.]
This is nothing like when I listen to Lunar Moth at home.
[crying.]
Hello? Hello, little bird.
What's freaking you out? Well, it's my first concert.
And it's just been so overwhelming and awful.
I think I'm through with concerts, music, and everything.
I'm just gonna to stay here until the show is over.
Little bird, I know this can be overwhelming, but concerts are superduper fun.
Just look at that jolly guy.
Or those monkeys.
Everyone enjoys concerts in their own way.
Yeah, but some guy sweated in my mouth.
Ah, yeah, sweat in mouth is no good.
But you don't get to experience anything really cool without being a bit uncomfortable.
So, you just have to, uh What do you have to do? You gottayou gotta gottagotta embrace the chaos.
Embrace the chaos? I don't know.
Well, little bird, I-I gotta go, so, uh, try to enjoy the rest of the show.
Remember, it's not being afraid that matters.
The most important thing is Cool Lunar Moth mask.
And amp.
And guitar.
Wait.
You guys are [rock music.]
[crowd cheering.]
Hello, Rockbark! [crowd cheering.]
We are L-L-Lunar Moth! We have this very special guest tonight.
I-I just met him backstage and come to think of it, I don't even know his name.
But you know what? I think he should come out and start us off! What do you say, little bird? [inhales deeply.]
[crowd cheering.]
[camera shutters clicking.]
Doop, doop, doobie, doobie, doobie Doop, doop, doobie, doobie, doobie Doop, doop, doobie, doobie, doobie, yeah [together.]
# Doop, doop # Doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie [together.]
# Doop, doop # Doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie [together.]
# Doop, doop # Doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie [together.]
# Yeah # [together.]
# Doop, doop # Doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie [together.]
# Doop, doop # Doobie, doobie doobie doobie [together.]
# Doop, doop # Doobie, doobie doobie doobie [together.]
# Yeah # - # Doop, doop # - [together.]
# Doobie, doobie # - # Doobie doobie # - # Doop, doop # [together.]
# Doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie # Doop, doop, doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie, yeah All week I've been working Looking forward to today I never fail to smile when we light up the fire - # Fire # - # Playing in the grass # Our problems seem to fade away We never worry 'bout the things we do or say 'Cause these words do not mean anything But either way we still get up and sing Doop, doop [together.]
# Doobie, doobie, doobie # Doop, doop, doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie Doop, doop, doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie, yeah Both: Harvey! Both: Harvey! [gasps.]
Mom and Dad! Hey, remember, little bird.
You just gotta listen to the beat.
The beat in here.
Embrace the chaos.
Doop, doop Doop, doop Doop, doop Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah [crowd cheering.]
[light music.]
Ahh.
[cell phone rings.]
What do you want? Yeah, I'm at the stupid lake right now it's dumb! Everyone here is lame! All the boys keep trying to talk to me and ask me out.
So annoying! It's like they can't even deal with how hot I am! Excuse me, Princess, but could you keep your voice down? It's just, we're all trying to relax and [sucks teeth.]
Oh, excuse you! I'm having a private conversation here! Gah! People here are so rude.
Oh, yeah, I hate 'em all.
It's like, I know I'm better than everyone, so shut up! [spits.]
Aah! I hate you guys! [all cheering.]
Thank you, thank you.
I got a letter here for you, Lake Spirit.
I reckon it's the one you've been waiting for.
You read my mail? Of course.
For safety reasons.
Hmm.
What have we got here? [shimmering tone.]
[clears throat.]
For acknowledgement of your years of exemplary service, we hereby promote you from lake spirit to ocean spirit.
Congratulations.
[shimmering tone.]
I can't believe it.
I'm getting promoted.
Yah-hoo! [screaming.]
[upbeat music.]
So you're leaving us? But I don't understand.
Who's gonna tell me not to eat the sand? No one! Oof! [munching.]
Children, children, you're not getting it.
Let me explain what it's like to be a water spirit.
[shimmering tones.]
Thousands of years ago, I started out as a young puddle spirit.
Wha? [laughs.]
I was a real go-getter and protected my puddle with all my might.
Eventually, I was promoted to swamp spirit.
Pond spirit.
River spirit.
Briefly demoted to above-ground pool spirit.
But my dream was always to move to the ocean.
Oh.
But, Mr.
Lake Spirit, why would you ever want to leave Littlebark? It's basically the most special place around.
Harvey, sweetie, I've been sitting in this lake for over 800 years.
I think I've had enough of Littlebark.
Okay, so I just need to pack up a few things, then I go.
Oh, wait, does anybody need a couch? I've got to get rid of my couch.
I can't believe he's leaving.
I'm not afraid to admit it, I'm gonna miss the big man.
I always thought of him like an uncle who sometimes yelled at us.
You heard what he said.
The guy's sick of this town.
But that's because he's been in the lake the whole time.
I bet if we showed him all the awesome stuff that Littlebark had to offer, he'd never leave! I'll be right back! So this is the couch I was telling you guys about.
I also have a quesadilla maker.
- I'll take it! - Stop eating sand! That's not your job anymore! [munching.]
Uh, Mr.
Lake Spirit? Before you go, please allow us to give you a tour of Littlebark! It won't take long.
And then you can leave forever.
[ding.]
Well, I guess I have some time.
[spits.]
Let's go see your town.
As we begin our tour of Littlebark, please stay together and keep your hands out of your mouth.
- That part's for you, Foo.
- Blah! Did you know Littlebark is home to a variety of things.
This thing.
This shrub.
That guy.
[gasps.]
Also, Littlebark's population is roughly 4 million if you count all the rocks as people.
- Yeah, I wouldn't count - Hey! Look at this neat-looking twig.
All: Ooh! You won't find that kinda twig in the ocean.
Things aren't looking too hot for the Littlebark Pussywillows.
And it probably isn't helping that the game's announcer is a total bummer! Nothing makes me love Littlebark more than cheering on the home team! I don't know, Harvey.
Our team isn't very good.
We're getting creamed.
[all grunting.]
[bell dings.]
It's kind of depressing.
[sighs.]
I'll be right back! Serious question: why can't I get a girlfriend? - Aah! - Wowee! Things just got a little exciting for Littlebark! This game is really starting to heat up! The rival team fumbles! Number 4 grabs the ball! No! No one stops him.
That's right, number 4 could go all the way! Oh, my goodness! [upbeat music.]
And he scores! [bell dings.]
[crowd cheering.]
A million points to the home team! Littlebark wins! [all cheering.]
That was awesome! [ding.]
[ding.]
If you are an outdoor adventurer who loves a good hike I love a good hike.
Littlebark has the sprawling views.
Huh.
And what's this? An endangered mountain beetle! Wow, what are the chances? Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.
[camera shutter clicks.]
Magnificent! [buzzing.]
Whoa, two mountain beetles! How lucky can we be? [buzzing.]
Ohh, he's doing the mating dance.
[buzzing.]
Things are about to get pretty weird.
[buzzing.]
[screaming.]
Oh, wow! I've always wanted to see that happen.
Next is Littlebark's hip new dance scene.
[lively music playing.]
- Oh, I love dancing! - What? Our lovely art museum.
Wow, what a collection.
Where are they from? - What are we doing? - I don't know, just keep doing it! Aah! Uh, the Queen? Wow.
Welcome to our lively downtown center.
It's nice.
What's that I hear? The sounds of a celebration? [parade music.]
Oh, is that me? I think that's me! It's a tiny parade! For me! Oh, look how handsome I am! Oh, this day keeps getting better.
Well, we still have one last place to visit on our tour.
Hooray! Welcome to Littlebark Lake, where our community comes together.
This is where we swim, relax, hang out with friends And eat sand! Stop eating the sand! [munching.]
Littlebark has special places like this because it has special people like you.
Aww.
You made me blush.
So, as we conclude our tour, let's put this down for a second.
We kindly ask you, please stay and keep Littlebark special.
[poignant music.]
Wow, I never knew all those great things were in Littlebark! I always imagined it was just twigs and mud.
But it's not.
[ding.]
So, Mr.
Lake Spirit, does that mean you're staying? Of course not.
[all cheering.]
Wait, what? [all expressing dismay.]
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait! Was it the tour? Was it me? It was me! I can change! What? No, you crazy child.
Harvey, there are other places outside of Littlebark.
Hop on.
I've got something to show you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, aah! Have you been to the clouds? # Have you seen fireflies going counterclockwise? # # Have you climbed over mountains? # # For the view at the top and a new kind of pop # # Have you felt burning snow? # # And the shivery blaze lighting up the airways # # Or the self-assured recalcitrance # # Or the whims of fancy flight # # And the feisty wings will pull at your strings # # And I wouldn't put up a fight # # No, I wouldn't put up a fight # # I'd let you go # # Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh # Wow! That's a big lake.
Harvey, Littlebark is wonderful, but it's only a small part of this big, wonderful world.
[majestic music.]
Well, this is my stop.
Oh! Oh, oh, that is not warm.
[splash.]
[gasps.]
Ahh.
Ah, thanks again for the tour, Harvey.
Littlebark is very lucky to have you.
[squealing.]
No splashing.
[growls.]
No splashing.
Ha, well, looks like I'm gonna be busy.
Good-bye, Harvey! Thanks for everything! Bye! [solemn music.]
[laughter.]
Mail for one Harvey Beaks.
Let's see, got your newest issue of "Good Boys Monthly.
" This month wasn't their best, but I still enjoyed it.
- And we have a letter here.
- Ooh! [shimmering tones.]
[laughs.]
Did I get you? Oh, Harvey, the ocean is just what I imagined.
I love it! Anyways, I gotta go.
There's a dolphin here that I've gotta give a stern talking to.
Oh, and enjoy your new friend.
[shimmering tones.]
New friend? [bubbling.]
Hello! Whoo-hoo-hoo.
Huh? Who are you? I'm your new lake spirit, you ding-a-ling! Ooh! Oh, it's chilly! Well, welcome to Littlebark.
Would you like a tour?