Hiccups (2010) s02e12 Episode Script

So I'll call you once I've made these changes to Millie's contract.
Maybe send me an email? Or I could just swing by.
Well, I'd rather call.
What's wrong with you? You seem jumpier than usual.
I lost my phone.
Okay, I didn't lose it, but I don't know where it is.
Well, why don't you call the number and listen for the ring? It's not that easy.
I was dancing with this girl last night and I thought she was into me, but She stole your phone? Right out of my front pocket.
I said, I thought she was into me.
Oh, God.
Are you guys having a meeting without me? It's contract renewals.
You're never involved.
Well, from now on, I want to be involved in every meeting.
I hope I've made myself clear.
Crystal clear.
Okay.
I said, crystal clear.
That's your cue.
Sorry, I didn't hear you.
I was busy thinking about what a stupid idea this was.
Crystal! You're back! What's new, sugar-pants? Not much I have a kid now.
Do tell.
What a shocker.
I wasn't shocked.
I was suspicious for the last seven months or so.
Your belly looked like a snake with a pig in it.
Well, this pregnancy certainly has endowed you with a couple of fine looking-- This is my boyfriend, Beau.
new family members.
What's goin' on? This must be the baby.
Oh, she's beautiful.
Yes, she is now.
You should have seen her coming out.
Oh, I have video.
They don't want to see the video.
Sure we do.
No.
We don't.
It's great to have you back.
I have a full day tomorrow, so if you can come in a half-hour-- Wait a minute.
I'm not back back.
I was just dropping in to say hi.
Oh of course.
Whenever you're ready.
Ugh.
Someone's bakin' brownies.
I'll start now.
See ya.
Are you ready to go? That depends.
Where are we going? To our pottery class! Pottery class? I don't want to do that.
Stan, we agreed to do this weeks ago.
Isn't this Ghost movie romantic? Let's take a pottery class.
Pottery class? I don't want to do that.
A-ha! I knew I'd heard that somewhere.
Then it's agreed.
Off we go.
Do you have everything you need? Well, these magazines are a little old.
And I could use a cup of tea.
Me too.
Why don't you make a pot when you've finished filing these? We got a little behind while you were gone.
Holy crap! That's a lot of files.
And here's the rest of it.
Holy, more crap! You know, we have bowls at home.
We don't have to make our own like cave people.
Would you stop complaining? This will be fun.
Lots of couples do it.
Yeah, well, lots of couples sit up at the table and talk during dinner instead of watching TV.
Is that how you want to live? Hello.
Welcome to Pottery Time.
I'm Penelope, the instructor.
So where are all the fellas? Are they out smoking cigars and chopping wood? Sorry, hon, you're the only rooster in this henhouse.
Really.
The only one? Oh, look, a Potter's wheel! Just like in the movie.
Why don't you just cancel your number and get a new phone? I've had that number for years.
Let me guess, the numbers spell a dirty word.
That's beside the point.
This girl and I had something special.
Sure, we only knew each other for two minutes while we were grinding to Ginuwine's "Pony," but I felt a connection.
Hmm, it appears I'm getting a call from Taylor Rymes.
See? She felt the connection too! Hello? Hang on.
This is Taylor Rymes.
I just thought you'd like to know that I'm a huge wad! Oh, real mature.
All right, listen, you glitter-faced dry-humper.
When I find you, I am gonna-- Well, she sounds nice.
Hey, Crystal, I'm supposed to approve some page mock-ups in the art department.
Have you seen Jimmy anywhere? Do I look like I've seen Jimmy? I don't know what that look would look like.
Sorry.
I'm just in a bad mood.
Joyce has me making up for her inability to file.
Well, you shouldn't be doing all that hard work post-baby.
Something might fall out.
Let me help.
Cool.
I guess I'll just go work on a few things at my desk.
Hey, Crystal, have you seen Millie? We really need her approval for the page layouts.
Oh! She was looking for you but couldn't find you so she went to a matinee at the Bijou.
Aw! I'd better call her, then.
No, don't.
She probably has her phone turned off.
But if you hurry, you could catch her.
Okay.
What movie is she seeing? It's called The Gullible Dweeb.
Great.
Thanks, Crystal.
It is so refreshing having a man in this class.
How did Anna convince you to come? Oh, she just asked me, and I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough.
You're funny too.
Yeah, he's hilarious.
Am I doing this right? Uh-huh.
Excuse me, Stan.
I need a big strong man to open this jar for me.
Oh.
Well, I'll see if I can find one for you.
I'm kidding.
Here you go.
Thanks, handsome.
Ooh.
Not so hard, sweetie.
We're not punishing the clay.
Sorry that took so long.
I was swamped with Whoa.
How'd you get it all done so fast? Easy.
I'm cranked on Red Bull.
Anyways, I should go find Jimmy.
Yeah, Joyce wants me to take some manuscripts down to the printer's, so I should Ooh! Are you okay? Did your water break again? Oh, maybe there's another one stuck up there.
No.
It's just my bruised, birth-ravaged body.
Oh, boy, do I know what that's like.
I ate a whole block of cheese once.
Yeah, that's exactly how it feels.
Ooh, my tender girl parts.
Oh, well, you shouldn't be carrying all those heavy manuscripts all that way.
Let me do it for you.
No, I couldn't Would you pick me up some diapers while you're out? And some coco mango lip balm? Why don't I just make you a list? So did you have fun? Yeah, it was all right, I guess.
All those women throwing themselves at you and it was just "all right"? What are you talking about? "Oh, Stan, can you open this jar for me? My arms long for you.
" "You're so funny, I don't care if your socks don't match.
" It was dark when I got dressed.
And they weren't flirting with me.
Were they? No You think? Nah.
Crystal, nice work on those files.
Thanks.
I have a system.
Could you bring me the Wilson contract when you have a sec? Sure.
What the hell is with these files? Nothing's alphabetical.
No, I file autobiographical.
Helps me remember.
Well, I don't know your life.
How am I supposed to find the Wilson contract? Wilson? It's under B.
B? For Bobby Wilson, first boy I ever kissed.
So you file using first names? No.
B is for "bison.
" He choked to death on a bison burger, but thanks for bringing it up.
Found it.
Now, get back here.
Aah! There are, like, so I just picked you up some chamois and duct tape.
Hey, Crystal.
Okay, so I did the office coffee run, and I picked up your "welcome back, Crystal" card that you wanted.
What's this? I asked for a Prada gift certificate.
Oh, well, everyone seemed pretty hot on getting you baby stuff at Please Mum.
I guess you can return that later.
Right now, I want this filing system in alphabetical order.
The alphabet We're not Sesame Street.
We're adults.
I'll file it in Klingon.
Thompson would go under "Tar Glok Schmock.
" Regular English.
Also, we don't need a file for junk mail.
Lose it.
Crystal What the-- Yes? I know you've been gone a while, but we still like to start our mornings off with coffee, not milkshakes.
Right.
Got it.
Or poutine.
Understood.
Won't happen again.
Let me get rid of this for you.
No, I already started this, and it's bad luck not to finish a milkshake.
Just don't make it a regular thing.
A milkshake? Really? Ah! Stop licking me! Oh, I'm sorry.
It's just that your lotion smells like peach.
Ugh.
I knew right away it wasn't you on the phone.
I mean, why would you call to tell me you have tiny girly hands? Did you hear any background noises like a train whistle or a guy playing the tuba? Sorry.
Just giggling.
Dammit.
Why do I always get the crazies? Well, where did you meet this woman? At a bar called The Tramp Stamp.
Well, you see? You're not going to meet the future Mrs.
Rymes at some hobo hangout.
Where else should I go? There's tons of places-- renaissance fairs, knitting groups, dragon boat races Heck, Anna's hauling me to some pottery class.
It's lousy with women.
Really? Taylor? Hey, guys.
What are you doing here? Just following your advice.
I tried a knitting class, but I was asked to leave after one too many virgin wool jokes.
Something smells like leather and hay bales.
Stan's wearing cologne for all his girlfriends.
Palomino? Nice.
It's aftershave, which I put on after I shaved As per the instructions on the bottle.
Hey, Stan.
I need those muscles of yours to help me load the kiln.
Um Taylor could probably help you.
If you need something loaded, I'm your man.
Stan and I can handle it.
Don't worry, I'll keep my hands to myself.
White steel body spray: 0.
Big surprise.
Crystal, I have an important meeting with Mr.
Johansson tomorrow.
Can you bring me his file? You shredded it? I don't know.
I might have.
It's your crazy, outdated alphabet system.
It's not my fault that "Johansson" and "junk" start with the same letter.
What are we going to do? Millie, there you are.
I missed you at the movies.
Anyway, I need you to-- Not now, Jimmy.
Uh, but Joyce wants-- Jimmy, I swear to God Okay Wow, your mommy hormones are really potent.
Mm-hmm.
So I said to myself, "if Stan doesn't like it, then I'm starting over.
" Oh.
Well, it looks really nice.
What would you call that colour? Brown.
Uh-oh.
Eyelash.
Now, make a wish and blow.
All right.
Hope my breath's okay I, uh I should probably get back to my work.
Whoo That woman cannot make a decision about anything.
So how's your, uh What is it you're working on? "Ooh, Stan! I don't know what it's called" It's a bowl! Wouldn't you know it, there's a light burned out in the storage room.
Stan? Taylor's taller.
He could probably help you out.
Hmm? Oh yeah.
I'm tall, it's dark, I'm handsome.
Can it wait a minute, though? I've got really good wedge goin' on here.
I guess your wish did come true.
What? That wasn't my I'll go fix the light bulb, and then I'm coming right back.
Penelope? Can I have a word with you? That looks really good, Taylor.
It does, doesn't it? Jimmy! Are you a carpenter? Um, no.
Then quit screwing around and get those mock-ups approved.
I've been trying to pin down Millie, but it just hasn't been that easy.
Well, maybe if you didn't spend your afternoons going to movies I wasn't.
It's just that Crystal has Millie on a pretty tight leash.
Crystal? Hello? You already told me Taylor is a weenus.
Call someone else.
Well, I shed a little light on that problem.
Ah, back to work, I guess.
Angie, I could give you a hand with that.
I'm fine, thank you.
Okay Lori.
You started over? I thought you liked the brown.
I had second thoughts.
Excuse me.
Taylor, can you help me pick a colour? You don't pick colours, lor.
You feel them.
Well, I wouldn't say you're a weenus, Taylor.
Sometimes you're a putz.
Hey, do you have a cold or something? You sound squeaky.
Hello? This is crazy.
Crazy fun.
It's like a giant puzzle.
Yeah, a snow puzzle with a polar bear in it.
Wearing a white jacket.
And drinking milk with Edgar Winter.
You see all that? Geesh, you got good eyes.
Okay, let's start with the outside pieces.
This is useless.
You're just going to have to tell Joyce you shredded the document.
You already did.
Jimmy, where the hell are those page mock-ups? I can't believe you shredded the Johansson file.
I agree.
I think we both expected more from Millie.
I take full responsibility.
Let me make it up to you.
Milkshake run! This isn't your fault, Millie.
It's Crystal's.
My fault? You drag me away from my precious baby, throw all this work at me, and expect me not to dump it on the first person I find? She makes a good point.
So, vanilla or strawberry? What's in this file that's so important, anyway? Well I, uh You don't even know! Well, I would if you hadn't shredded it! Unbelievable.
What she said.
You'd better hurry or we'll be late.
I don't think I want to go.
But we get to glaze our pots today.
Isn't that exciting? I wouldn't say "exciting.
" It's no baconator.
Yesterday you couldn't wait to go.
Yeah, but that's 'cause You know, when the class started, everyone was And things were more kind of And now, it's all, you know It went and It's gone you know? Well, I'm glad you got that off your chest.
Let's go.
Oh, fine, fine.
It's just I mean Uh-huh, uh-huh.
I see.
You can tell me on the way.
A-ha! Bingo! Gotcha! Did you find something? Do you think I'd use the "A-ha, bingo, gotcha" combo lightly? Benny Johansson.
Robbed a liquor store in 2002.
Why would I have a meeting with a convicted felon? Maybe you have a thing for bad boys? A-ha! Bingo! Gotcha! Well, while you two were wasting time, I've been going through my day-timer.
What'd you find out? This Johansson meeting is very important.
How do you know? Because it's circled in red.
Also I've got some drycleaning from April I haven't picked up yet.
Here we go.
Chad Johansson, accountant.
Also plays the acoustic guitar.
Whoo, double threat.
Whoo, he has his own website too.
Triple threat.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Aw, look.
The cursor changes to musical notes.
I doubt it's him, but click on the treble clef to see the bio.
Joyce? Can I help you? Yeah, we have an appointment? I'm Bill Johansson? A-ha! Bingo! Gotcha! I'm really working with a negative space here.
I want the colours that aren't there to be just as important as the colours that are.
I think it's beautiful.
Your mother's going to love it.
Hey, Taylor.
Pretty nice tulip tank you got there.
I was just wondering if I could get the girls' opinion on my plowl.
Plowl? Is it a plate? Is it a bowl? Who's to say? Anyway, what do you ladies think for glaze options? It's your plow.
Do what you want.
Pretty frosty for a place with a 1700-degree oven.
So it's not my imagination.
People are actually moving away from me.
Like E.
R.
after Clooney left.
Well, what do you think I-- Sorry, Stan, I really have to focus here.
Yeah, okay.
Sorry.
How could you do that to Anna? Do what? Oh, like you don't know, Mr.
throw-out-your- wife's-spoon-collection- because-she-forgot- to-PVR-Junkyard Wars.
W-what? Spoon Wars? What are you We don't even have a PVR.
So Bill.
How long has it been since we saw one another or spoke on the phone? Oh, I don't know, four months? Wow, time flies, huh? So how's your things? Yeah, look, Joyce, I've got a flight to catch, so if we could just-- Get down to business.
Sure.
I've been giving this a lot of thought.
Really.
Why? Well, there are pros and cons, obviously.
Are there? Aren't there? Well, I-- I thought this was all arranged.
I just want to-- Mr.
Johansson, this is all my fault.
Crystal-- Even though she had your file stuffed in some back closet, I shouldn't have pawned my responsibilities off on-- Bill Johansson! Welder from Winnipeg.
This is all my fault.
I'm not very good with the alphabet.
Enough.
Both of you.
Bill, I'm so sorry.
This is embarrassing.
Rest assured someone will be fired.
You're going to fire somebody over a parking space? Parking space? Parking space? Yeah, I'm-- I'm going to China for three months.
You said I could rent your parking space.
Parking space? Bill Johansson! We met at the football game.
Ballet.
Mr.
big tough welder likes to go to the ballet.
So if I could just get the tags Of course.
Crystal, grab Mr.
Johansson the parking tags from the filing-- Oh, crap.
Hey, uh, just curious, honey.
Have you been saying things that are maybe less than flattering or borderline libelous to your gal pals here? I didn't like all the flirting that was going on, so I told Penelope you were a bit of a slob.
Mm-hmm, a slob who threw away your spoon collection? I never said that.
I don't even have a spoon collection.
Well, I don't have a PVR.
Don't take that tone with me, Mr.
Palomino Aftershave.
Okay, all right.
Stop fighting.
I may have played a teeny, tiny, little part in this.
And then he threw a bowl of soup at her because she'd over-salted it.
He did not! Didn't he? Angie, can I have some more slurry? Oh yeah.
Thanks, hon.
You know what else he does? Huh, this is sick I was dealing with some self-esteem issues at the time.
Well, thank you very much.
Yes, thank you very much.
You shouldn't feel insecure.
Lots of women like you.
Penelope even asked me for your number.
Awesome.
Oh, wait a minute.
No! Uh, Penelope! Whatever you do, don't call me.
But I wh Fine.
What a jerk.
Mm-hmm.
Seriously.
Once time, he hit on his own cousin.
Hey, Crystal.
I bought you a coffee.
Well, I feel bad about messing things up with you and Joyce, so if there's anything I can do No, Millie.
Thanks, but I'm going to start doing things for myself.
Okee-smokee.
Hey, have you seen Jimmy? I need to sign off on that page mock-up thingy.
Yeah, I think he's talking to Sheila in accounting.
Oh.
Okay, thanks.
Okay, so I exchanged that Please Mum gift certificate, and your car's all gassed up.
How are you feeling? A little better.
I'm supposed to tidy up the kitchen, but I think my uterus might be prolapsing I'll do it.
Here's a list of other things as well.
Super Mommy and her sidekick, Mighty-Missy, were the best superheroes in all of Grumpaland.
But Mighty-Missy noted that she was doing all the superhero work, and Super Mommy was taking all the credit.
So Mighty-Missy told Super Mommy that she had to do the next superhero job herself.
Super Mommy said, "Fine, I don't need you anyway.
" Later, when she saw a runaway train, Super Mommy jumped on the tracks to slow it down And got flattened and mangled, because somehow she forgot her super-powered cape.