Men in Trees s02e12 Episode Script

I'm planning a reception to celebrate marriage to a man I've known for less than six months.
I will be bringing my new roommate.
That wave came out of nowhere! We're gonna get out of here.
I can't stop thinking about you.
I'm with jack now.
I would never forget you, especially if we were to write letters.
You are not to flywith him again.
You're not the boss of me.
I got to get up in the air again, feel the thrill.
Mom?! Mom! Mom! Can -- can you hear me? I-I-I-it's me.
It's patrick.
Mom.
Please.
Say something.
Dumbass! Aah! What's this for? For fleeing from an officer of the law.
I wasn't fleeing.
I just couldn't get down.
I have rights, you know.
Yes.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.
Fine.
I'm gonna exercise my rights.
I'm gonna be silent to you.
Fine! Oh, great.
Do you mind? People have to put their mouths on these.
Yeah, and we don't want to think about where those hands have been.
What is with you? Sorry.
I got a bad case of the gnats.
What? It's kind of like butterflies, only more annoying.
Always get them before I fly.
Right.
You're going to sam and jane's thing in new york.
Yeah, that "we got married without you, but we still want your fancy gifts" party.
What's your fancy gift? Bacon-of-the-month club.
Nice.
Yep, went all out.
Got them two whole months.
So, you're going all that way just for sam and jane.
This has nothing to do with your lady friend.
Mary alice will be my plus one if that is what you are asking.
But much as I want to see mary alice, I wish I didn't have to risk my life to do it.
I've seen those hidden-camera shows.
Pilot could be up there deboning a salmon for all you know.
Oh, you know it.
Some of my best meals -- right in the cockpit.
Hey, annie, what would you like? An alibi.
I mean, something hard but blended and preferably pink.
I'm on it.
Annie, are you okay? Why? Do I look like I'm not okay? No.
I'm fine! Patrick's been arrested.
For what? It involved balloons and a lawn chair, but that's all I can say.
I'm sorry, but I might be an accomplice.
Is he okay? Yes.
What happened? People, stop it, please! You're implicating me.
I better get over there.
You can'T.
Jail's closed until morning.
Celia's orders.
By the way, I was never here.
Or maybe I was.
Oh, it's you.
I was wondering what that was.
Yeah, fixing a leak.
I thought you went to bed.
Trie couldn't handle the dripping noise.
Oh, that's funny.
It was the clanking noise that got to me.
Sorry.
All done.
But, uh,ince we're both still awake Hey.
Hey.
All packed for new york.
How long have you been up? Few hours.
Jack, you've only been back from sea for a few days.
You need to get some sleep.
Why don't I make you some sleepytime tea? It always helps me.
"Sleepytime tea"? No.
Come on.
It'll relax you.
Get you back on track.
I can think of something else that can relax me.
Oh.
Is four times a day normal? having been on both sides myself, it's hard to say what's normal anymore.
Well, all I know is ben and i want to have a baby and we never seem to have sex at all.
Thanks to his hockey obsession.
I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that kind of behavior isn't gonna bring the stork in.
Jerome, we're trying to have a private conversation here.
Do you mind? No, no.
Go right ahead.
You know, jack's been like this since he's been home.
It's been all play and all hands all the time.
He definitely hasn't been a dull boy.
I don't even know why I'm questioning it.
Right.
Guys don'T.
Let's face it.
They'd rather have sex than do anything else.
Yeah, like talk.
Or deal with any issue for that matter.
Sex is an escape for them.
I should know.
Those issues kept me in business for a while.
Has jack said anything? Ladies, we are talking jack.
He is not much of a talker.
Well, there's that.
Well, you just got to pull it out of him.
I've tried.
Several times.
It just seems like the sound of my voice gets him in the mood.
It's always important to have a skill you can fall back on.
Get! Can we have bacon for dinner? Um, don't look.
Okay.
No, open.
Oh, no, really, you should close them.
It's bad luck.
Who am I kidding? Oh, that would be me.
But we're already married.
You could look.
My mom just brought it over.
She wore it to her wedding.
And I'm gonna wear it to the party tomorrow night.
What do you think? Nice.
Where's the bottom? Karen: What bottom? That's my dress.
Hello, handsome.
Is this who I think it is? Jane: It is.
Sam, meet karen and steve, my parents.
Mom and dad, meet my sam.
Get over here.
Look at you.
Oh, my goodness.
Whoa.
Congratulations.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh.
Wait! Act like we haven't met yet.
Where is the camera? I don't know.
Well, we have to find it.
We only get to meet a new son-in-law once.
So, when you said your parents were little, you really meant they were little.
What did you think I meant, petite? No, I -- it's just -- now, where were we? That the best you got? Uh, no, sir.
Pleasure to meet you.
Call me dad.
Soson you ready for the big time? Marriage.
Yes, sirdad.
I think I am.
Come here.
Good hugger.
You know what that means, don't you? You don't fear intimacy.
Not like this one here.
She's a tough little nut to crack.
But when you break through her shell, she's all sweet meat.
She is indeed.
That's why you, sam, are just the guy.
You're the nutcracker.
My mother prides herself on her ability to read people.
After all, she is a therapist.
But whatever you do, don't call me a shrink.
Come on, C.
So he went up in a lawn chair.
He didn't hurt anybody.
Oh, really? What does this look like, a necklace? He didn't mean for that to happen.
It's not about intent.
It's about fleeing from an officer of the law, resisting arrest, criminal mischief, not to mention petty theft.
What? That was my lawn chair.
Oh, come on, C.
Let the boy go.
He's sorry.
Oh, he is? Really? That's funny.
I-I never heard him apologize.
Oh, wait.
I guess that's 'cause someone's not talking to me.
Caging a bird won't get it to sing, celia.
Listen, maya angelou, patrick needs to learn a lesson.
You really should butt out of this.
Just tell me how much this is gonna cost.
F-for everything? I-including property damages, mental distress, and medical bills? 'Cause this brace -- not cheap.
Uh, no, just the bail.
Oh, uh, well, you know, then bail, including the fines, is gonna -- ll, that's gonna run you $2,000.
You're kidding me, right? Oh, good.
I caught you.
Patrick won't be joining you on the radio today.
Why not? Didn't you hear? What? Celia arrested him and now she's going to make him sit in his cell alone all weekend.
I feel so bad for him.
Patrick's in jail? All he wanted to do was fly in a lawn chair.
But celia just can't understand that.
Well, then again, it probably doesn't help that patrick's taken a vow of silence, which, for the record, I totally respect.
Patrick has taken a vow of silence? He's proving a point.
And the point is? I'm pretty sure it's the "what's the point of talking to my controlling mother if my controlling mother isn't going to listen anyway" point.
Ah.
Classic.
I just wish I could help him and make it better, you know, as -- as a friend.
But how can I if he can't even say what he wants? Hey, guys.
My friend annie and I were just talking, as women do, and we got to wondering -- how can you really ever know where someone is coming from? People say it's important to listen, but how can you listen if nothing is being said? Tell me, elmo -- in a relationship, do you have the right to remain silent? You are gonna love it.
There is this little kosher hot dog stand right outside my old apartment.
Oh, it is so good.
Almost as good as the pumpkin muffins at dean & deluca.
Now, those are fantastic.
What? All this talk about food is making me hungry.
Oh, I get these pork buns down on canal street.
They're the perfect blend of sweet and salty.
You're gonna love new york.
Excuse me.
You're in my seat.
Yeah, well, just take mine.
No can do.
I prefer to cocoon myself, especially when I'm at the mercy of an unknown being flying me 40,000 feet in the air.
Jerome, you'll be fine.
No, this bird is going down.
I can feel it.
Fine.
To help you sleep.
Thanks.
You smell good.
Nope, that would be me.
Lavender calms the nerves.
Glad to see it's working.
By the way, if we die up there, I just want you to know I love you like I would my own son.
I love you, too, like I would my son'S annoying girlfriend.
* The shadow of a very last drink * * The shadow of a very last drink * * The shadow of a very last drink * * The shadow of a very last drink * I get it, gandhi.
* What are words for when no one listens anymore? * * When no one listens what are words for * * when no one listens? * * There's no use talking at all what are words for * We're in this together.
Excuse me.
Can I get a scotch? Make it a double.
Since when do you drink scotch? Since when do you monitor my drinking? What is going on with you? Nothing.
I'm just -- I'm sorry.
I'm just tired.
Well, yeah, that's because you haven't been sleeping since we moved in together.
And every time I ask you why, you just want to have sex.
And that's bad? Well, it is if there is a reason behind it.
I feel like there's something you're not telling me.
Maybe you think we moved too fast.
If this isn't working for you, tell me.
It's working for me.
How are your vows coming? Fine, I guess.
You guess? Why exactly is there guessing? UhI kind of have trouble writing down how I feel.
I'd rather speak from the heart.
You know, on the spur of the moment.
Oh, sam, really.
You know, this doesn't have to be hard.
After we write them, we can try them out on each other.
Since I already wrote mine, how about I go first? Fine.
Shoot.
"Sam, I used to think the miracle was that I found you.
"But that wasn't it.
"The miracle occurred soon after.
The day I stopped worrying" Okay.
"Stopped worrying about anything " because I knew that everything would be okay As long as" o-kay.
"Just as long as we had each other.
" Guess who married a weeper? So he cries a little.
Is that so bad? Trust me.
There's no spinning this.
Sam is a full-on, hyperventilating, kleenex-clutching crier, complete withsnot.
Well, I think it's sweet.
Well, everything but the snot part.
I nixed the public vows.
When I was first married, I was a lot like jane.
Not in touch with my emotions.
Then one day, thanks to therapy, I opened right up.
I've been a believer ever since.
Expressing emotions is a good thing.
You should be thankful.
I wish jack would show some emotion, any emotion at all.
Lately, I have no idea what is going on with him.
Well, unless we're in bed.
That's a step in the right direction.
Sex is just another way people connect.
It's highly communicative.
See, honey, you just have to read between the sheets.
Give him time.
Words usually follow.
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
I invited some business contacts to the party, you know, to help with the write-off.
Anyway, stuart's comingsolo.
Hope that's t gonna be weird for you.
Why would that be weird for me? My relationship with stuart is strictly business.
In fact, we're meeting at the boathouse for lunch to discuss some new projects.
Oh, how working girl of you.
Why, thank you.
And thank you.
All right, jerome, we're getting dressed.
Time for you to go.
Fine, but these eyebrows aren't exactly gonna wax themselves, you know.
I brought you a blow-up pillow for your underdeveloped neck muscles.
Celia: Caught you! Morning, o'donnell.
Chief celia, I-I was just about to go -- I hope you realize you're officially breaking and entering.
That's 48 hours mandatory jail time around here.
Okay! Or not.
A-are you sure? 'Cause it seems like you have to, you know, according to the law.
Or maybe we should call supervisor dick and ask him what to do.
Fine.
I got my eye on you, o'donnell.
The slightest infraction and you are outta here.
You -- you spoke.
Yeah.
Stuart, I'm not sure I'm in the right place.
I'm in the park near the restaurant, but I don't see you.
Turn around.
I thought we were having a business meeting.
We are.
Step into my office.
Your office? Sure.
Well, my weekend office.
Ah.
So, what did you want to talk to me about? Well, there's been some interest in launching an interactive relationship game based on your next book.
And here I've been trying to dispel the myth that games work in relationships.
On this one, the heroine makes her way through the wilderness to find her perfect man.
Does she find him? Well, she's based on you, so you tell me.
Well, in that case, yes.
I'm with jack now.
We're actually living together.
Really? I thought he was at sea for nine months.
He was supposed to be.
They got caught in a storm and were lost at sea for five days.
We thought he was dead.
Marin, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
He's been through a lot.
Well, it sounds like you both have.
Jack's a lucky guyto have you to come home to.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous.
Oh, what if I said jealousy doesn't look good on you? I'm sorry.
I'm just speaking my mind.
Always have.
We all have faults.
I guess that's mine.
It's not a fault.
Hope I'm not interrupting nothing.
So, what do you think? Is -- is mary alice gonna find this dapper or desperate? Uh, I don't know.
You got a rabbit under that hat? Come on.
I'm trying to make a good impression he.
Help an old bachelor out.
Desperate.
Way to shoot a guy down.
What's that? A little something I wrote for my lady.
A love letter? Something like that, yeah.
Wow.
So, you're serious? Love is a serious matter, jack.
How did you do it? Well, I just -- I got a pen and some paper -- no, no, not that.
I mean, how did you u know, I mean, how do you pour your heart out like that? I don't know.
It just comes to me.
Maybe those fancy greeting-card companies are right.
Maybe when you realize how much someone means to you, you want to share yourself with them.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I don't know how good it is, but I'm hoping it'll do the job.
Oh, hey, theresa? Yeah? I'm on call for emt today.
Uh-huh.
If I get paged, I might have to leave.
That's fine.
We should have it covered.
I mean, the fight will be on soon, so ben's not going anywhere.
Hey, buzz, how's patrick holding up? Well, as well as you can when you're starving and locked up with your mother.
Oh, so not good.
I wanted to get him out of there, but who ts bail at $2,000? Celia? And then what kind of a woman refuses to give me the money to help her stepson out? Mai? Well, the upside is patrick's more like you than you thought.
Huh? Yeah, now both of you have been arrested by celia.
Yep, he's got that.
Hey, guys, the fight's starting.
Hey, you still believe in those 20-1 odds? Yes, sir.
Prove it.
Oh, I'm gonna feel really bad taking your money.
Don'T.
Winner takes all.
Didn't you promise mai you wouldn't gamble anymore? What mai doesn't know won't hurt her.
Whip him, baby! Beat him like a rug! Just whip him! Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Did you get any sleep this afternoon? Jerome came by.
Then he wouldn't leave.
And then I couldn't get to sleep after that.
Honey, help.
Oh, of course.
What can I do? If this thing creeps up any higher, they'll be rezoning this block as a red-light district.
I'm on it.
I'll see you later.
Yeah.
She says it hurts, but she won't tell us where.
She was playing one minute, and then, out of nowhere, she started wheezing.
I think she's having an asthma attack.
We should take her in in case it escalates.
Jennifer, did you start to feel sick when you were playing? Yeah? What were you playing with? Jennifer, will you do me a favor? Will you put your head back? Okay.
Perfect.
I think we found our culprit.
Take a look.
Well, the upside is we can take care of this here.
But the downside is your daughter seems to have a reasonably sized green marble up her nose.
Jack, hey.
Stuart.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I remember.
How are you doing? Great.
Two scotches in.
So, how's new york treating you? Well, I still have my wallet, so that's saying something.
You must still be jet-lagged.
I'm all right.
Drink? Sure.
Scotch.
Good man.
So, marin told me about your sea adventure.
Oh, yeah.
It wasn't exactly an adventure.
Well, it's quite a story.
You ever consider writing about it? It's not a story, man.
It's my life.
Mary alice? It's jerome.
I thought maybe you got lost.
I know you live here and everything, but I-I see.
Hi.
Hey.
I can't believe you told stuart about what happened to me.
What? What are you gonna do, publish a story in the new yorker about it? No.
Jack, I hardly told him anything because I don't know anything because you won't talk to me about it.
It's not something I enjoy talking about.
Yes, I get that loud and clear.
You know, maybe I shouldn't have come on this trip with you.
Maybe you shouldn't have.
You know, this weekend hasn't been too much fun for me, either.
And it should be.
My best friend just got married.
I know.
I can't do this right now.
You don't have to stay here for me, jack.
I'm in for two.
Sucker.
This town needs another jail.
It's all there -- bail, fines, and any other ridiculous fee you included.
Where did you get all this money? Let's just say I bet on the right guy.
Hey, thanks, dad.
Goodbye, patrick.
Wh-- what about me? Sorry, missy.
You're on your own.
I'll be back to visit.
You did good back there.
Sara.
Sara, I'm john.
Pleased to meet you.
How did you figure it out so quickly? I have a kid.
At that age, anything that fits goes up their nose.
What do you got there? My emt course books.
Figure I should take advantage of the downtime on these rides to stay on top of things like septic shock.
What level emt are you? Oh, I'm not an emt.
I'm a doctor.
I didn't know doctors did ambulance runs.
Oh, I'm just volunteering.
The last couple of years, most of my work has been either in a lab or in my office.
Clearly not with kids.
I just really miss treating patients.
That's why I like these runs.
They keep me connected.
Are you okay? Oh, yeah.
I see.
Actually, my lady was supposed to meet me here tonight, but now she's not coming.
What changed her mind? Her husband.
He seems to think he loves her again.
Apparently, bob -- that's the husband -- found all the love letters I'd been writing her these past months.
Turns out that all the wonderful things I love about mary alice reminded him of all the wonderful things he loved about mary alice.
They're gonna give their marriage another try.
Those must have been some letters.
Yeah, they sure worked.
Just not for mE.
* One kiss one night * would you like to dance? As friends.
* All it took was just * everything okay? Yeah.
Why? I saw jack leave.
He was really tired.
Nothing more to that? You know, I really don't feel like talking about it.
Then we'll just dance.
* Love indeed * * indeed in love * you two better get to your vows before they close the bar.
You know, your guests are starting to skedaddle.
It's okay, daddy.
Sam and I decided not to do the vows anymore.
Actually, sam's had a change of heart.
* Can't control it when you're next to me * * let's get started * * I'm on the borderline * * about to cross the line * can you --can you stop the music? Hello? Hi, there.
I'm gonna do something that might upset jane.
Jane and I were planning to read each other our vows tonight.
But we had a dry run yesterday that well, didn't end up so dry.
That's because I got emotional.
Okay, I admit it.
I cried.
Like a baby.
Truth is I don't know how not to get emotional when it comes to this woman.
Oh, sam.
Everybody who knows jane knows she's smart, successful, maybe even that she plays a mean game of air hockey.
But what you might not know is that this same woman who tried to save you the embarrassment of me crying the same woman who empties her pockets for a street musician because she, too, believes in their dream, who leaves in the middle of the night to help her best friend fend off a bat, or was it a bear? Both.
You see? That's my jane.
The woman I love.
And the truth is that's the reason why we eloped.
Because I couldn't wait another day to call this woman my wife see, honey, I didn't even cry.
Sara: That was fun.
I really hope we work together again.
Yeah, me, too.
Okay, it may not be as exciting as this, but I'm looking for a part-time research assistant.
Really? It doesn't pay much, but there's the potential to learn a lot.
So in case you know anyone.
Right, of course.
I'll put the word out at my next emt class.
I'm kidding.
No, it was meant for you.
Oh.
No, I mean, let's face it, any woman who can study in the back of a speeding ambulance must have pretty good reading skills.
I've been having these nightmares.
The guy, gary, that died, he was tied up to me and julia.
There was a -- a lot of blood.
His blood.
And we watched him.
We untied him.
And we watched him die.
And that's what I see when I'm sleeping.
I can't imagine.
I know.
I just -- I can't get my head around it.
I wish you had told me before.
I was, you know, trying not to think about it at first.
Now it's all I think about.
I keep, uh, thinking that I could have done more.
I don't know how to move on.
Oh, jack, I am so sorry you went through that.
I wish I could really help you.
You are.
Just being here.
But I wasn't there.
And this is really big.
I can love you, and I can tell you it's gonna be okay but you might want to talk to someone else, too, you know? Someone whoknows how to handle this sort of thing.
* Sad song on the radio echoes down this empty road here tonight * marin: As children, we're taught to express ourselves.
We're told to use our words to be specific and not to assume that others know how we feel.
Because the truth is, it takes us saying things aloud to know what we need uh, hey, julia.
It's jack.
Uh, I-I was hoping that you might have some time to talk.
To know what we feel ourselves.
As adults, there are those times when words fail us.
In times like these, we put our words away and show how we feel * some days are holy, * * some days are rough * because actions speak louder than words.
And that saying a lot.