Mighty Med (2013) s02e12 Episode Script

Hey.
What are you listening to? Actually, I'm coaching my nephew's T-ball team, so I'm listening to a book about coaching techniques.
A book?! How do I get the taste of reading out of my ears? What the heck? Kaz, Oliver, say hello to my beloved pet, Camela Anderson.
Why do you have a camel? Why did you bring her to work? Everyone knows camels make the best pets.
And I brought her to work because my camel walker passed away.
He was trampled by a camel.
Can she do any tricks? She can sit, and I'm teaching her to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
Right now, she can pull a hat out of a rabbit, but you only wanna see that trick once.
Horace, what are Wallace and Clyde doing up from Mighty Max? I wanna let them stretch their legs before I melt them into action figures.
Because no one wants to play with action figures that have tight hamstrings.
- Guys, help us.
- Yeah, you've known us for years.
You can vouch for our characters.
Especially our snobby movie critic characters.
I give this film one very expensive but wilted orchid.
Horace, you can't turn them into action figures.
They're our friends.
- Good point.
- Listen to the kid.
Yeah, our friends that tried to destroy us and take down the entire hospital.
- Good counterpoint.
- We did do that.
Horace, I can tell there's still some good left in them.
And I think I can rehabilitate them with the positive reinforcement techniques I've been using to coach T-ball.
If I can train a bunch of six-year-olds, I can certainly train two senior citizens.
Fine.
I'll grant them a temporary release to prove they're no longer evil.
You have 72 hours, from the day before yesterday.
So I have 24 hours? I thought I made that abundantly clear.
Ha-ha, it's nice to be back.
Yeah, we really miss this place.
There's no money in here.
Nothing's changed at all.
Okay, bring it in, boys.
Now, we have less than 12 hours to convince Horace that you guys are no longer villains.
We can do this! Any questions? Wallace.
Yes.
When do we get snacks? - I believe there was talk of juice boxes.
- Fine.
Now imagine the comic book shop as our playing field, and you two are the players.
And the game is called anyone? - Wallace.
- Clyde stole my juice box.
Boys, what did I say about teamwork? Nothing.
You've not touched on that.
Yeah, you didn't say anything.
My bad.
I'll get to that later.
But for now, here's the game plan.
You two have spent your whole lives focused on destroying superheroes.
But today, I'm gonna teach you how to interact with them peacefully.
I guess it won't hurt to try.
Unless it will hurt to try.
'Cause if it's gonna hurt, we prefer not to try.
That's what this day's all about.
Effort.
So we're gonna try.
Wallace, Clyde, meet Blue Okay, that was not part of the game plan.
Kaz, what are you doing? I'm tired of just helping superheroes.
I want to become one myself.
So I'm trying to give myself powers so I can impress girls and be great in sports.
- And save people? - If there's time.
Anyway, I'm recreating Sonar Ninja's origin story.
He was a blind archaeologist whose other senses became super powerful after he fell into a crystal cavern and the crystals changed his brain chemistry.
A blind archaeologist? No wonder he fell into a cavern.
To lose my vision, I'm going to wear this blindfold, and the crystals that I put into that helmet will mess with my brain junk.
I probably should've put the helmet on first.
Here.
Thank you.
All right, now.
Just wait for my other senses to kick into high gear.
Is it working?! Because I'm whispering right now.
Can you hear me? It's almost like you're standing right next to me screaming directly into my ear, causing permanent damage.
My super sense of smell just kicked in.
I can smell rabbit poop from the pet store miles from here.
Sorry, that's me.
My camel just pulled this hat out of a rabbit.
Ugh! Wallace, Clyde, come on out.
Let's see some hustle.
When you say hustle, do you mean hustle as in hurry up, or hustle as in the '70s dance craze? Because we can only do the second one.
Wow.
Loud.
Okay.
Good hustle.
You guys have made great progress but Horace is on his way, so let me show you the game plan.
Horace will enter from over here.
You two will enter from over here.
Why did you need to draw that? And why are we all naked? 'Cause I'm really bad at drawing clothes.
Horace, thanks for coming.
Wait until you see how totally reformed Wallace and Clyde are.
Okay.
But I want you to know, I've come prepared in case there's any monkey business.
What's with the banana? How else would you conduct business with a monkey? Anyway, I'm very skeptical about Wallace and Clyde.
You'll see.
Wallace, Clyde, let's show Horace the new you.
Where did you get a real ball of disintegration? This is one of Wallace and Clyde's old weapons.
I'm gonna have 'em tie us up, and I'm gonna leave it right here on the table and when they resist the temptation to disintegrate you, you'll know they aren't evil anymore.
That sounds like a great plan.
What, you don't like it? I'm sorry.
That came out sarcastic.
That sounds like a great plan! What are you staring at? I honestly have no idea.
I'm trying to get super powers the way Remix did.
She used skin cream with radioactive yak's milk that combined with an electric charge from her guitar.
Well, I can't afford her expensive yak's milk skin cream, and I couldn't find a yak, so I did the only logical thing.
Borrowed Philip's pet camel and milked her instead.
Now, to irradiate the milk.
Uh-oh, she's eating that medicine.
Is it harmful? I don't know.
Let's see.
"Do not use if pregnant, driving, or a camel.
" Oh.
I think someone's pregnant.
See, we're totally helpless, and Wallace and Clyde are totally fine.
Why they're brushing each other's hair, I have no idea.
I'm still not convinced.
Oliver, did I ever tell you the funny story of how I defeated Catastrophe and turned him into the two pathetic creatures you see before you? Now, the old Wallace and Clyde would've reacted by destroying you in a furious rage, but watch what the new Wallace and Clyde do.
That wasn't what we trained for, but it is harmless.
Creepy but harmless.
Creepy but harmless.
That's how I describe myself on my dating profile.
Well done, Oliver.
Wallace and Clyde, you're free men.
Yes! Congratulations, boys.
And as a reward for a job well done, I have a little surprise for you.
Mini cheesecakes.
My T-ball kids love these.
They also love eating their own boogers, so these might not actually be that good.
You disintegrated Horace.
What happened? - Wallace.
- Clyde stole my mini cheesecake.
I cannot believe you disintegrated Horace.
We didn't do it.
You left the room, and things went all fuzzy.
- Including our hair.
- You have a little bit Would you stop with the hair? If you didn't disintegrate Horace, - then who did? - Hey, a note.
Maybe it's a clue.
No, it's a to-do list.
"Renew exterminator's license.
Pick up Laughy Cat T-shirt from the dry cleaners.
Buy giant glue trap for Horace Diaz.
Frame Wallace and Clyde.
" I can't believe it.
Yeah.
Who dry cleans a T-shirt? I meant, we were framed by the Exterminator.
You're right.
It's obvious what happened here.
The Exterminator was spying on us from outside.
The moment you left to get your mini cheesecakes, he made his move.
Wait, wait.
Why are you wearing tuxedoes? It's our re-enactment.
We can wear whatever we want.
Yeah, that's the rule of re-enactments.
When you left the room, the Exterminator snuck in.
He blasted us with his neuralizer toxin, abducted Horace Diaz, and made it look like we disintegrated him.
My goodness, even unconscious, those two are the handsomest, most well-dressed twin comic book store owners I've ever seen.
He didn't say that.
- He might've said that.
- You weren't there.
So Horace might still be alive.
You guys used to be villains, so you know how they think.
Where would the Exterminator have taken Horace? To his lair, most likely.
It's in the downtown lair district.
It's the hot new place to have your lair.
We have to sneak in and save Horace.
The Exterminator is ruthless, but we have the element of surprise.
So we just need to be totally stealth.
Sorry.
Breaking and entering makes me very thirsty.
You know what makes me thirsty? You stealing my juice box.
Quiet! The Exterminator will hear us.
I didn't hear them, but I did hear you.
It's true, Oliver.
You're very loud.
Kaz, have you seen Camela Anderson? I can't fall asleep until she says Uh, she told me she was going over to Silly camel.
I specifically told her, don't go over to.
Kaz, I came up with a way for you to recreate Cricket Man's origin story and get powers.
I thought you said my plan was stupid.
I did, but if by some miracle it works, then I can do the same thing to get powers.
Come on, we have nothing to lose.
Actually, you could lose an arm, or an eye.
But I have nothing to lose.
So you wanna use me as a guinea pig? Awesome.
Yeah, guinea pigs are the best.
They're all, like, well, I don't really know what sound a guinea pig makes, but camels are like Camela! Oh, sorry.
That was me.
Anyway, this is a positron emitter.
I'm going to use it to irradiate this cricket, and then have it bite your hand, which will give you super cricket powers.
Like the power to bug someone? Be quiet.
Nobody asked for your opinion.
It's working.
You know, I'm sorry about what I said earlier.
I really do value your opinion.
You know what would really come in handy right now? A laser camel.
How did you figure out I had Diaz? We found your to-do list.
And you know what? This Laughy Cat T-shirt actually does look a lot better dry cleaned.
Right? Why did you abduct Horace? I thought you'd given up on being a villain, and you have a legitimate business.
You put an ad in our high school yearbook.
I was trying to frame Wallace and Clyde and ruin their lives.
Is this about the time I invited you to the Domain because we were trying to convince Clyde to turn good? But you thought it was a surprise party for you, but it wasn't because nobody likes you.
Yes, that was exactly one year ago today, and once again, it is my birthday, which hang on.
Did you Is this a surprise party for me? Yes! It is.
And here are the refreshments.
You guys are the best.
This is empty! And you know I love frazzleberry.
Actually, there's a little bit left.
This isn't a party.
And this is exactly what you did last year.
You ruined my life by bringing out the super villain in me.
That is when I started planning my revenge.
I was spying on Wallace and Clyde.
The moment you left, I made my move.
Hold on.
Pretty sure that's not what happened.
This is my re-enactment.
I get to do whatever I want.
When you left the room, I blasted everyone with my neuralizer toxin, abducted Horace, and then, made it look like Wallace disintegrated him.
Okay, my dear, let's go back to my mansion, and feed each other nachos.
Wait.
Why would you put such an embarrassing moment in your own re-enactment? Still a lot better than real life.
In real life, I had to walk home, 'cause someone stole my bicycle.
Listen, Exterminator, we're sorry that we turned you into a super villain again.
Plus, we didn't know that was your bike when we stole it.
I'm glad you guys tracked me here.
'Cause now, I get to watch you suffer while I exterminate you.
Get me off this glue trap so I can use my power to immobilize the Exterminator.
Okay.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Wait.
You have the ball of disintegration.
Use it.
Don't, don't.
No, guys.
Guys, guys.
Hey, why are we fighting each other? Horace Diaz is the real enemy.
Okay, so unlock your true evil natures and destroy him, not me.
Wallace, Clyde, listen to me.
If you disintegrate Horace, you will not get your participation medals.
Do it! No! You disintegrated the trap.
Good heads-up play, guys.
I knew you'd make the right decision.
And I have something for you.
Where's my medal? I participated.
I don't have one here, but you can have one in your re-enactment.
What's the matter? In my re-enactment, Clyde stole my medal.
We need to find the laser camel and the giant cricket before they destroy the hospital.
Or mate, 'cause that would be weird.
Philip, you found Camela.
In perfect health, totally the same as always.
Actually, she's not the same, and I think you had something to do with it.
Watch this.
See? She can lie down now.
Isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen? Okay, you're probably wondering why she can shoot lasers out of her nostrils.
Not at all.
She does that all the time.
- What? - She's a laser camel.
That's why I got her.
I mean, what kind of weirdo has a regular camel for a pet? Good job, Camela.
You deserve a nice, big bag of.
I can give you an estimate, but we're lookin' at big numbers.