My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011) s02e12 Episode Script

(Soft jazz music playing) Mmm (Chuckles) I can't believe it took so long for our first date.
Maybe all good things are worth waiting for.
(Laughs) Wow.
That's such a good line.
To the Vampire of my dreams.
There's something I've wanted to do for a really long time.
Kiss me, Ethan? Rory: Ethan! Hey, buddy! Wake up! Ethan! Ethan! (Both grunt) (Both groaning) - Oh.
- Ow What are you doing in here? I let him in.
Oh, Ethan, you're so dreamy! Kiss me! You ever hear of privacy, you little rodent? Mom! Ethan hit me! Ah! Rory: Ethan, get up.
The Council wants to see you.
They said they have a job for you.
You can tell The Vampire Council that they'll have to wait.
Today, I am a man.
Ah, you're using the stove all by yourself? No.
Today is the day that I ask Sarah out on a date.
Cool! Where are we going? (Sighs) Ow! Ethan's mom! Ethan hit me! She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Yeah, it's me.
What you get is what you see.
No more "maybe it's Maybelline".
She can give you everything you need.
She's the girl next door.
Yeah, it's me.
Thanks.
So? Did you have fun last night? Fun? Everyone wore sunglasses indoors and talked about blood types.
I know! I love Vampire Clubs.
I just wanted one normal night, you know Go to the Mall, see a late movie, pig out on popcorn.
Just like we used to.
Sarah, I was VP of the historical fiction club.
I don't want that kind of normal anymore.
Hey, Sarah! Looking good today.
No, she looks good every day.
Is it windy in here, because I just got blown away.
Ugh.
Why am I so much smoother in my dreams? Benny: You know Just for you, I'll take my hundred bucks in dollars.
(Sighs) The deal was that I had a year to ask Sarah out.
I still have five hours left.
Hmm.
Rory: The Council wants to meet with you now.
And this time I've been authorized to use force.
(Chuckles) What force? These.
(Chuckles) (Growling) And those.
Let's just get this over with.
I'll ask Sarah out later.
Yeah, sure you will.
Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, I have pre-ordered a hundred dollars' worth of the world's first self-chewing gum.
Thank you for agreeing to meet with us.
Most kind.
Yeah, sure.
Any time.
Someone broke into the archives and left one of our elders like this.
Ethan: Elder? He looks more like an intern.
He's 769 years old.
Doesn't look a day over 768.
(Chuckles) He's in some type of trance.
We cannot wake him.
We have no way of knowing what went on here.
But a seer might.
Look inside of him and see who did this.
Oh, I can't really look for things.
I kind of just see what I see.
Look now.
Or I will see inside of your head.
The old-fashioned way.
Yeah.
Where is it! Where is the Lucifractor? (Gasps) He was attacked by a man in a long cloak.
And he was looking for something called the Lucifractor.
Someone you know? Did you see anything else? Not really.
Thank you for your help.
You're free to go.
And Ethan The next time you make me send my guards to bring you back I'll send them out hungry.
Hey, that went well.
I mean, you appear to be alive.
Yeah.
I've got all day to ask Sarah out.
Benny: Yeah.
This I gotta see.
Get off! Erica told me you were here.
- Did they hurt you? - Oh! Is everything okay? Uh, yeah.
Um Can I Um, can we, uh I'd I'd like to, uh, ask you Uh Maybe we could, uh (Whispering) He's actually doing it! I changed my mind.
This is definitely worth a hundred bucks! Sarah, would you like to go out for dinner with me tonight? What, like a date? - Uh, no, not like that.
I mean - No! Yes! I mean Yeah, exactly like that.
On a date.
Sure, what the heck.
Could be fun.
See you tonight, then? (Mimics explosion) She said yes! (Benny laughing) And I never doubted you ever! Me neither! And I'm not lying like Benny! Yeah! I can't believe she said yes.
One hundred dollars.
In nickels.
Best money I ever spent.
What are you doing? I saw this in the vision I got from The Council Librarian.
What did they say it was? I didn't tell them about it.
Dude! You kept a secret from The Council? How'd you get so cool all of a sudden? Look, the wizard who raided The Council library, was looking for something called the Lucifractor.
Anastasia tried really hard to not look worried when I mentioned that.
Must be pretty important if it scared Little Miss Fang Thang.
Maybe we should figure this out.
Maybe I should just call Sarah about tonight and Both: Hey, whoa, whoa! It took a full year to get one date.
One! This? This happens every week.
Go on your date, dude.
We'll totally figure this out.
The two of us make almost a full Ethan.
Yeah.
What? Okay.
Yeah, you're right.
Okay so, where are you taking her? Well, Erica mentioned a little Restaurant Sarah might like.
Nice.
Time for some tips.
Oh, I don't need any tips.
I don't need any tips, coach.
How necessary would you say that wig is? Very.
I totally think it brings out the color in my eye.
Cut the chatter! What do you do when you first sit down? Act like it's the only place to be.
Isn't this awesome? Hm! Awkward pause alert! What do you do? Um, compliment her eyes or her shoes! Do you have a map? Why? Because I just got lost in your shoes.
Oh, my! Here comes the bill, hotshot.
There you are, Sir.
What do you do? Don't make a big deal about how maybe your soup wasn't worth seven dollars? Lesson time's over! Get in there! Get your date on! Go, go, go, go! - Oh! - Thanks! You think he'll blow it? Yeah, probs.
I mean, he left you the bill.
I've been staring at this thing for five minutes and Does this look like a monkey's head to you? I mean, with one eye? I think it looks more like this.
Benny: Hey, you're right.
Nice catch.
What is this map? Oh, that would be the oh no zone.
It's the only part of town my company won't insure.
Too many weird accidents.
Uh, this one House sucked into the ground.
Um, garage torn apart by trees.
Oh, yeah, driveway turned to lava! Yeah! Nothing that gets built in these spots stays up for long.
It's like the whole area seems to be filled with bad luck.
Oh.
What's this place in the center? Oh, Darkwood Hotel, oldest in town.
You know, back in the '40s A busload of people checked in, the next day They disappeared.
- Checked out.
- Checked out? You mean, like No one knows.
Whatever it was, their insurance didn't cover it.
(Laughs) (Laughing awkwardly) So, Ross, um We kids, we love your insurance stories.
Uh Do you have any pictures of, like, flooded basements and stuff? Do I? Yeah, they're upstairs! I'll go get 'em! Thank you.
Great.
Okay, so, each place he mentioned is a nexus of supernatural energy.
What about this one? It's on the drawing, but not in the map.
Ethan said that cloakey Vamp-stomper was looking for something called the Lucifractor.
If this is where it is, we need to get there first.
We're going to 1 Darkwood Road.
You won't believe this.
One guy's basement, right here, full of fish! It's not a "date" date.
It's just two friends having a A date! And it shouldn't be happening.
You're not like him anymore.
This isn't a Dusk novel.
And I'm not a thousand years old.
Yet.
So, relax.
Hey, whoa.
Isn't that the bracelet Jesse gave you? Are you sure that's a good idea, to be wearing that? That's the one nice thing I got out of that relationship.
And I backhanded him in the face with it once.
Good times.
Flower equals date.
I thought I was picking you up.
I thought I was picking you up.
I was gonna buy you a pair of Heckbots earrings but Thought you might like this better.
Thanks.
Shall we? Hello, Ethan, it's been a while.
And we need to talk.
- Was that a - Uh, no, no.
It was nothing! Here.
(Sarah chuckling) (Sensor beeping) Dude.
This place is definitely haunted.
We should go.
Rory.
On the monster scale, Vampire beats ghost.
You're the scariest thing down here.
I am? (Sensor beeping) Cool! Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.
(Beeping faster) There's a pile of supernatural energy here.
Yeah, this is the right place.
(Rapid beeping) Oh, no! It's been in my stomach the whole time! (Groaning frantically) (Sighs) (Beeping slower) (Beeping faster) Here! Okay, this is it.
This is it.
Hold this! (Beeping stops) Ah-ha.
That's how it's done.
Behold The Lucifractor! We are its new masters! Oh! What does it do? It obeys our awesome commands! Cool.
How? I have no idea.
Grandma will figure that one out.
Rory: For something so important, you think it'd have, like, an alarm or something.
(Sensor beeping) You mean like that? (Growling) Both: Run! Morgan, reservation for 7:00? Ah, yes.
Right this way.
Nice place! Enjoy your meal, Sir.
Oh, thanks.
- Host: And enjoy yours.
- Sarah: Thanks.
Very lean, but healthy.
Oh, turkey napkins.
Nice.
(Laughs) Actually, I think it's a swan.
Oh.
Thank you my good Erica? Aren't you two the most adorable couple ever? You work here? Vampires need money, too.
So would you like to hear our specials? We have one dessert so sweet that goes straight to your bloodstream.
Um, can we just have a second with the menus? Take your time.
You lied to me! You said I was the scariest thing here! Second scariest is still pretty good.
Third scariest.
Thanks for finding that for me, boys.
Now, let me have it.
Oh, you'll get it all right.
- Run again! - Okay! (Growling) Um, waitress? I ordered a Caesar.
Did I tell you that your eyes really match your shoes? (Laughs) Wow.
I don't think anyone's ever said that to me before.
(Sighs) I had a vision of Jesse.
Jesse? I knew it! In the park when you touched my bracelet? Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I should have said something but I didn't want it to get in the way.
I don't even know how he knew we were dating.
You really think that's it? Yeah, but enough is enough.
It's time I sent him a message.
Tonight is about us.
Ethan, listen up.
We need to talk.
You're You're here.
Actually here.
This was just supposed to be a message.
What do you want? Someone's growing up! And you're with Sarah.
First date? Yeah, it is.
And you're interrupting.
Feeling territorial? Easy, tiger.
This is business.
Someone's looking for the Lucifractor.
You have to find it.
What's so important about it? The Lucifractor absorbs the dark energy that keeps Vampires alive.
Two centuries ago, a sorcerer almost drove us out of Whitechapel with it.
I dealt with him and hid it.
So why don't you just deal with him again? Yeah, I was kind of banished by The Council.
"Undesirable element," they called me.
Can you believe that? It boggles the mind.
Listen, Sarah's life is in danger.
The Lucifractor is in the old Darkwood Hotel.
And be careful.
I left a sort of watchdog behind to guard it.
It won't care whose side you're on.
Well? What is it? Um, I just Need to make a quick phone call.
(Sighs) You're You're so fast.
You look a little tired.
Want me to carry that for a while? Yes.
Ut-oh! No.
It's a lot heavier than I thought.
Maybe you shouldn't touch this thing.
All right, then.
(Cell phone ringing) Ethan! Hey, okay, we've found the Lucifractor, and it You found it? Was there some kind of guardian thing? Oh, yeah.
And it Never mind! You have to bring it to the Restaurant now! Hurry! Uh, hey, Rory.
You feel well enough to, like, fly really fast while carrying me? Uh-uh.
Okay, tell me what's going on.
There's a bit too much to explain right now, but We should leave as soon as Benny and Rory get here, okay? Benny and Rory are joining us? On our date? I knew it! I'll get your coat, okay? Oh! (Hisses) Please be careful, Sir.
This is a Vampire Restaurant! What are you talking about? You chose this place! Actually, Erica did.
You recommended a Vampire Restaurant? Vampires have restaurants? Look.
There's two types of people in this world.
Eaters, and eatees.
You both need to know who you're going on a date with.
Is there a problem with the meal? Would you like him seasoned? I think I'll take him to go, thanks.
(Door opens) Oh, Benny! Hey, okay, this is the good news.
Bad news is (Growling) That thing sure wants its chew toy back.
Why can't we just give it to him? Are you nuts? It's powerful enough now without giving it a super weapon.
Maybe we can destroy one powerful thing with another.
Good idea! Do it now! I've gotta figure out how to use it! Maybe I can buy you some time.
Dagaroth Ah! Is it ready yet? (Crowd murmuring) What is that thing? I totally almost tasted that earlier.
So much power.
I could feel it.
If you talk about what you saw tonight, the only people who will believe you Are the ones who will eat you.
Let's go! Are you okay? Here.
(Grunting) Ethan: You all right? Yeah.
I think I'll call it a night.
Yeah.
Um, I'll call you? Yeah? (Sighs) Well, let's put it this way, buddy She'll never forget this date.
Oh.
Let's go.
Maybe next time, trouper.
(Sighs) Benny: Dude.
You look rough.
Did you have that zombie cat dream again? Oh, yeah, and worse.
Probably because I slept with this thing under my pillow.
Hey, let's Lucifract something.
No, Benny.
This thing's like a magnifying glass for dark powers.
Exactly! Imagine what I could do with it if I was actually good at magic.
We could rule the world.
See? That's exactly why I'm stuck babysitting it.
- Come on, just for the morning.
- No.
I really want to Lucifract just one thing! No way! I'm the one who found it! - Give it back! - Boys! You know how I feel about horseplay in the halls.
I am horseplay's greatest opponent.
This is coming with me.
No! No! (Grunting) You can't take that! I'm fairly certain I can.
If you would like to argue the point, I'd be happy to hear your complaints in detention.
No, Sir.
At least it's relatively safe in his office.
What's Vice-Principal Stern going to do with it? (Chuckles) She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.