Orange Is the New Black s02e12 Episode Script
It Was the Change
It was an honest mistake.
She was trying to help.
A little more help and I'll be dead.
She hates wearing her glasses.
Says it makes her nose look big.
You want to assassinate someone, vision is a basic requirement.
It's like step one, pick a person to kill.
Step two, kill that person.
She won't last a month in the SHU.
This is a royal fuck-up, girls.
Vee is going to know that she is the target.
The whole family is in danger.
Unless we use it to our advantage.
She doesn't know it was a mistake.
We tell her it's a warning shot.
Don't fuck with Red.
Or a 79-year-old woman will shank someone you never met.
That's how scary you are.
Stab a stranger in the kidney just to send a message.
If I was this Vee person, I'd think twice about pissing you off.
It's what Taslitz would want.
Taslitz got us into this situation.
We're not doubling down on that nonsense.
We need to explain what happened peacefully.
A parley.
Parley? What are we, pirates? Well, one of us does have an octopus tattoo.
Taping windows is not a good idea.
It's in the emergency manual.
Bad news, Hurricane Wanda.
You've been downgraded to a tropical storm.
Hilarious.
The weatherman said you're getting wider, though.
You could flatten a few trees when your ass hits land.
Okay, Steve Harvey, we get it.
Last time we had leaks in room four and in intake and in the pharmacy.
They did some patchwork over the summer, but I am not optimistic about what's happening up there.
This place needs a new roof.
Yeah, Fig is all over that.
Don't worry.
She's also getting us an espresso bar and a swimming pool.
So much for learning your lesson, huh? What lesson is that? I don't know, associating with the criminal element.
Girl, I am the criminal element, and so are you, last time I checked.
You know what I mean.
Man, don't start this again.
Yo, she got you thrown in the SHU.
That wasn't her.
That was this place coming down on me like it's done before, and it'll do it again.
Something's gonna fuck you, you know? The system, the man, Vee.
Can't do nothin' about it.
At least Vee gives you back 10%.
She took my friend.
And you gonna fight her forever? Stop making things so hard for yourself.
You all right, Chapman? Yeah.
Yeah.
Get to talk to your lawyer? I talked to one of his partners.
He said that there's, um he said that there's nothing that they can do.
He said prisoners get transferred all the time.
Yeah, we got, like, 30 girls up from Pensacola last year when they had that tuberculosis scare.
This isn't that.
This is Fig fucking me personally.
She's hated me ever since that stupid radio show.
Mmm.
But you, you got connections.
Now, you can fight this.
You got furlough.
I got furlough, and it's biting me in the ass.
Healy said that there's nothing he can do.
He can't ask for any more special favors because it would look inappropriate.
She buried me on that list with, like, a dozen other people.
Ruiz has a new baby.
Well, I'm gonna miss you 'cause you were a decent person.
And do you know what the worst part of it is? Telling my family and realizing that they actually sounded kind of relieved, like they weren't gonna have to spend hours coming to visit me anymore, like they finally got their weekends back.
I mean, you should've heard my mother.
She sounded practically cheerful.
"Well you only have eight months.
It's not like that's forever.
" Eight months is forever.
It's like the less time you got, the slower it goes.
All right, I got to go.
Hey, Morello? You know, you were the first person that was nice to me when I got here.
I was really scared.
You made me feel like it was gonna be okay.
Well, I am gonna remember that you said that for my bad days.
What's that supposed to be? It's a black flag.
International symbol for parley.
And what are we, pirates? I don't banter.
I'm an envoy.
The greenhouse.
After work.
I'll take two chicken noodles and a Neosporin.
Fuck you.
- Nice socks.
- Thanks.
I'd like to alert you to a couple of line items that feel a little wonky.
Okay.
For instance we've got 80 grand here allocated to FitzCORE for the bathroom repair, but I thought that was included in the fee we paid earlier for unspecified plumbing services.
This is a much more extensive job.
Right, I get that, but I feel like there's some overlap happening.
You're doing great work, Hoffman.
Thanks.
So, I think we should dig into this.
Listen, my husband is having a fundraiser tonight.
Why don't you come as my guest? Have a couple cocktails.
The wife'll love it.
I'm pretty sure Tiki Barber is gonna be there.
How's it going? What, me? I'm doing okay.
Thanks for asking.
You know, it's actually not possible for you to ignore me forever.
He moved.
I'm sorry, I'm not following.
The baby.
He moved.
When? Like now? Now? This morning and again after lunch.
He's really in there.
Can I Can't feel nothin' on the outside.
He's too small.
Wait, you're calling it a "he.
" My right boob is larger than the other one.
Gloria says that means he's a boy, and I also keep craving salty stuff.
I You know, I always wanted a boy, like I mean, when I pictured it.
How do you feel about, um Frank as a name? Frank? Like a hot dog? Ah, never mind.
It's It could be a girl, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Oh, shit.
I seem to recall you saying that she wasn't going to be a problem.
How do you know it was even her? A child does childish things.
That little broomstick just cost me serious money.
Who's gonna pay me back? You? Look, I got no part in this.
But you took responsibility.
You think she'd be in here trashing my shit if it wasn't for you? What are you gonna do to her? I'm a businesswoman.
I'm gonna do whatever it takes to neutralize the risk.
Don't get crazy, Vee.
She could have an accident.
That's one option.
What's gonna happen then? The whole place goes on lockdown, the COs tossin' everything.
That's bad for business.
So, what's option two? Take away her incentive to fight me, which is you.
I can't have you around here anymore.
But I'm your girl.
I've been loyal to you from day one.
Ask anyone.
I know that.
You see, this whole thing with your friend, it is bringing me down, it is attracting attention, and I can't have it anymore.
I'll talk to her.
I'll tell her to stay away from Look at this mess.
Look at this mess.
She left this for anyone to see.
Now, what would've happened if a CO had come in here before me, huh? She would rather have you go to the fucking SHU than see you working for me.
I'm sorry, Taystee.
You said you would protect me.
You said it was me and you together.
I'm sure we'll see each other around.
Yo, who wants hot wings? Oh, why do you eat that shit? You know it's a scam to sell off the trash of the chicken? Delicious trash.
We used to cut the wings off and throw 'em away.
Did you know that? Then somebody figured out if you smother 'em in sauce, you could talk people into thinking that they were good.
You ever notice Girl, you ever notice that they don't ever put buffalo sauce on no other chicken parts? Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed.
Yo, hang up the GTA and get in here.
RJ! I thought you were gonna get Thai, you know, that curry soup with the noodles I like.
We had this conversation.
You said that you didn't trust a man who wore flip-flops while he cooks.
I'm tired, I guess.
I haven't been sleeping lately.
I told you it was pizza, man.
You worried about somethin'? I sell smack.
I'm always worried.
Besides, my mattress is too hot.
You sure you ain't sick? No, I'm not sick.
Get outta here.
I never get sick.
You ain't sick, Vee.
You just old.
I had an aunt who was always yelling and sweating.
Couldn't remember a damn thing.
Turned out, it was the change.
Oh, my God.
I'm too young for that shit.
I thought I had more time.
Hey, take it easy, now.
Oh, I am 50 years old.
What the fuck have I done with my life? I should've rent to own.
I should've got me a man! Well, you got us.
How about you put off losing your mind until you get a good night's sleep, and then you see how you feel then? Okay, we all know Trance says the first dumb thing that come to his mind.
Shit, I don't even believe you 50.
You're still as fine as the first day I met you.
Boy, you so full of shit.
You always the smoothest bullshitter in this house.
I'm serious, Vee.
If you wasn't practically my mom, I don't know what might happen.
Boy, you better get outta here.
You have to talk to her, like, all the time.
There's all these studies that say that if if you don't talk to the baby, they end up, like, fucked by the time they're five.
Talk to her.
Sing to her.
You got to promise me, okay? You'll read to her while I'm in Virginia.
All right, I know you don't like to talk, but you gotta do it for her.
Oh, you hear me, baby girl? Huh? I'm talking to you.
That's right, I'm talking to you.
You grab Daddy's face and you make him say shit so that you don't end up like me.
Oh, this something new? You're supposed to keep your hips up.
Keeps the sperm in.
Hmm.
You should start getting ready.
Hoffman's on to us.
Not on to us, but suspicious.
Nah, we're bulletproof on his end.
Just don't make any mistakes.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
It was fun at first, but now I'm not sleeping.
If I got caught, can you imagine? Jesus, babe, you're getting cold feet now? You know, you gotta play dirty if you wanna win.
Rowley gets in office, he drives the whole state off a cliff.
I get it.
This is my career we're talking about.
And my career? Look, you know I totally support you, babe, in every way but you're assistant warden in a prison.
This is the senate.
Think of the doors it will open.
And maybe you'll get pregnant, right? Who knows? I held up my end of the deal.
Now you hold up yours.
What the hell? Think about it, Vee.
Do you really think I'd do something so stupid? No, you're not stupid.
Just pathetic.
Just sent an old fool to do a job that you're afraid to do.
That old fool did exactly what she was supposed to.
Send a warning.
Fuck with me, I fuck back.
Really? 'Cause you know what the message that I got was? You want a war.
Except you bungled the first shot.
If she wanted to kill you, you'd be dead.
Do you do you wanna go? You know the sad part is, I was actually gonna share this with you for old times' sake.
But now my feelings are hurt, so I'm just gonna take it.
Oh, well I hope you enjoy it.
If your people can find the other end, of course.
In the woods, in the middle of nowhere.
How's your son? Yuri, right? Can you guess how many Yuri Reznikovs there are in a two-hour driving radius of Litchfield? Come on, guess.
You're full of shit.
There's only one.
it 2346? I don't remember.
But my boys tell me it's very nice.
Green house, white trim.
You touch my son, I touch you.
Every bruise, every mark the same.
You gonna fight me yourself, Red, or are you gonna send your little army of midgets, crones to do it for you, huh? Norma, you might wanna talk some sense into your friend here.
Remind her of the last time that she fucked with me.
Broken ribs.
Punctured lung.
You're proud of that, are you? We were friends.
We were never friends.
You'll regret that.
What is this? A tea party? What are you even doing out here? We heard the alarm.
It's not the lie-down-on-the-ground alarm, it's the weather-related-emergency alarm.
Let's go.
Get back to the building.
And remind me to give you all shots.
Let's go.
How's your wife? Eh, she's stressed about the kid.
School wants to hold him back.
She takes that shit personal.
Yeah, well, maybe you should take her someplace, you know? Florida.
And who'd look out for my pal, Vee? Tip her off to the action, round up her competition.
Your dedication is heartwarming.
We're as close as can be, right? Till the money runs out.
Oh, by the way, we busted a couple of supply guys across the bridge.
They're bringing in this cheap shit from India.
Took down the whole setup, books, cash, everything.
New York's Finest.
Your boy RJ was on their drop list.
Same address.
I checked.
You ask me, he's going into business for himself.
Keep it moving, everyone.
Nice and calm, we all stay dry.
Hey, man, how is rain coming out the toilet? Can you explain me that? It's not rain.
It's the lake.
The sewer pipes are open, the lake overflows, ground water comes up through all the pipes.
If it come down to swimming, I'm gonna save myself.
I will stand on a bitch's head.
Dorm A, C and F, report to the cafeteria.
Wet-nap? What the fuck am I supposed to do with this, eat it? Probably tastes better than this.
Butter pecan, and it's from, like, two years ago.
We get donations.
You're killing us, Wanda.
Come on, we'll go over there.
You bring your cards? Could be a long night.
Got anything to help me get through it? Get away from me, kibble head.
I am not in the mood.
Pretty sure that this qualifies as unsafe working conditions.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure OSHA's gonna be all over it.
I don't know anything about generators.
The generator's on the roof.
We have to get the pumps working so they'll push fuel up there.
Also, I don't know anything about pumps.
Hey, that's what he said.
Come on, I can't make one stupid joke before I die from drowning and/or electrocution? - Incoming.
- Ugh! Good At least it's dead.
Think of his brothers heading upstairs to get dry.
Okay, so tanks, pumps.
Let's get going.
Man, how come nobody told me these things were down here? I could've been cornering the prison-hooch market.
Look at this.
They got taps built in and everything.
Uh, Luschek? There's nothing in here.
What the fuck? Both empty? Fig again.
Am I right? Now what? Threesome? So, the irony is that Foucault's analysis of power structures ends up being an argument against the institutions of social inequality.
I mean, we talk about this all the time in the locker room.
I don't know why this is so difficult.
So, then Jason says, "Let me talk to her.
" I know, right? But he will not be swayed, so I put him on, and he sits there on the phone with her for 20 minutes.
I counted.
Just listens to her whole story about the building permits and the whole thing with the snakes, and I do not know how he does it, but I swear to God, at the end of that conversation, she writes him a check for $30.
And that's when I knew, this man belongs in Albany.
Sorry, I need her for a minute.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Excuse me.
It's good to see you.
Thank you.
God, if I have to tell that story one more time Joe Caputo again.
This makes call number six.
It's like having children.
I swear, can't Mama have one night out? I guess I should call him back.
FitzCORE just got here.
Oh.
Good, we need this guy to pony up.
Bob, so glad you made it.
Randy, Michelle, I'm so sorry about the rain.
I'm disappointed, Natalie.
I thought for sure you'd figure out how to put the weather off until after tonight.
I could do it right now, but it'd cost you extra.
I'm not complaining about the storm.
Trust me.
It's like money falling from the sky.
I'm guessing that prison of yours is gonna need some very expensive repairs.
I am guessing you're right.
- Lobster slider? - Yes, please.
This way.
Ah.
Here.
We keep the fence between us, but we can all see each other.
No surprises.
You think she's gonna jump you tonight, in front of five COs and 200 witnesses? This is not a sane person we are dealing with.
Oh, man.
I mean, the spirit is willing and everything like that, but we got a serious problem in terms of weight class, you know what I'm saying? We don't have the muscle, so we've got to be smarter.
Great, we'll challenge them to a sudoku contest.
Watch your tone, Gina.
I want eyes on her all night.
She doesn't move without us knowing about it.
Sleep in shifts.
If you go somewhere, take a buddy.
We supposed to be fightin' them? 'Cause that's the Lollipop Guild over there.
I don't know.
Red's bringing all kinds of shit from the outside.
I hear she got a Taser hidden away for just in case.
Where exactly you think she hiding it? In her coochie? Taser would fit right in there.
Red's not a fighter.
She's a schemer.
She makes a move, it'll take us a week to figure out it's her.
Keep your eyes open.
Don't talk to anyone that isn't us.
All right, listen up! This building's pipes are now compromised by water, meaning there is absolutely no working plumbing whatsoever.
So, for the time being, you're gonna answer nature's call in the honey bucket.
Are you serious? Four more just like it down the hallway.
You check with the CO at the door, you do your business, you put the lid back on.
Once it's halfway full, last person dumps it outside.
Brings it back.
What if you gotta number two? You don't.
Keep it clenched, ladies.
Don't be the one to ruin it for everybody.
This is so great in a way, you know? No separate dorms, no walls between us.
Like, we're all just women having the shared experience of deprivation.
Like, the hunger strike but bigger.
Oh, my God, we should totally have a sing-along.
I hate the world today You're so good to me, I know But I can't change Tried to tell you But you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath Nutmeg.
Nutmeg.
- Nutmeg! - Bing-fucking-go.
Whoa.
How much we gotta eat to get gibbled? I don't know.
A lot.
- Hey, Mr.
Healy.
- Hey.
- How are you? - Good, how are you? - Good, do you have any snacks? - Sure, sure.
Come on, take a seat in the trauma counseling center.
So, is the storm scaring you? Making you feel out of control? Not at all.
I just feel, like, hungry, like, for some snacks.
Oh, yeah? We got some snack food here.
- Oh, yes! Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Do you want some water? It's important to hydrate.
No, no, no, no, no.
There's this whole bucket situation that I'm trying to avoid.
Um, hey is it okay if I take a few of these for my neighbor? 'Cause she's a lesbian, and I just wanna, like, distract her.
Which lesbian is that? With the fat stomach and the haircut.
Black? She's, like, the worst one.
No, she's white.
You know you can't say that shit around here.
Trust me No.
No, no, no.
You're talking about Boo.
"Black" is her last name.
You should stay away from her.
You think I can't handle myself? I will say this.
She's got some sick, like, tattoos, like her ink.
Have you seen it? That's how they get you.
Being cool, doing cool things, and before you know it, you're part of their agenda.
What? You know, you should read this book.
It's called The End of Men.
In it they talk about how, pretty soon, men are gonna become irrelevant.
Now women are more educated, they're gonna make more money and pretty much run everything.
- Really? - Mmm.
Well, then, who would, like, be the President? Exactly.
It's the lesbians that started this whole thing.
They're making babies out of a tube.
That's why they're walking around all the time like they're better.
Waiting for us to go obsolete.
That's what they're doing.
No offense, but, uh, men being in charge has never done me any good.
Well, are you eating free cookies? Yes.
You should think about that before you get ideas.
Boo! Yo, hold the fuck on.
Who the fuck is this? I've been hearing some very troubling shit on the street about you, my young friend.
Come on, Vee, it's late.
Damn, you got some nice shit up in here.
Is that a new TV? - What if it is? - Yeah? I don't remember handing you this kind of cash.
Got a friend that hooks me up.
A friend, huh? 'Cause what I hear you been going into business for yourself on the sly.
My customers, my corners.
Yo, look, Vee, I've been running for you a long time, right? You took me out of foster and raised me from a kid, but I'm grown now.
It's time for me to go out on my own.
So, you wanna compete with me on my own fucking turf, you motherfucker? Come on, now, Vee! Think I'm gonna play you hard like that? Look, I'm sorry, okay? I should've told you.
I guess I was kind of scared.
You know, but how's this? I'll give you a percentage.
Whatever you want.
Look, I ain't trying to game you, Vee, I swear.
It hurts me you even thinking I would.
Come on, now.
Okay.
Shit.
Okay.
Oh, God damn, I must be going soft, 'cause you always were my favorite.
Yeah, I kind of got that feeling.
Yeah, ever since you were a little boy.
But you're a man now.
Guess I am.
A man who loves his mama.
Hey.
You know I'm being transferred, too so at least we'll know each other.
We don't know each other.
I know, I just meant at least we'll both be from the same place.
And I can see why you wouldn't give a shit about that.
How much time do you have? - Six years.
- Fuck.
I saw you with your boyfriend.
Seems like he loves you a lot, huh? Fuck him.
I'm gonna come home finally, my baby'll be in the first grade calling some other puta "Mommy.
" Men can't help it.
They're weak.
Bam.
Bam.
Okay.
Bam, bam.
- Hey.
- Hmm? How's this whole "agenda" thing work? I got a lot of those.
Specify.
The gay agenda to take over the world? Okay.
First of all, keep your voice down.
This shit is top secret.
Are you gonna let all the men die out? Oh, fuck, no, we need slaves.
You know, bookkeeping, janitorial, fetch and carry, that kind of shit.
Yeah, what about for sex? 'Cause I know I like how they smell kind of funky and they're big and they have dicks and all that.
Well, maybe but when you're done, you gotta toss 'em away like trash.
I mean, the whole point of this is chicks digging each other and being in charge.
Let's say I wanna join, right? Okay, let's say that.
Shh.
Would I have to do anything disgusting against the word of God? You know? I'm talking about eating pussy, if you catch my drift.
Yeah, I hear you.
And that is a big part of it, I'm not gonna lie.
But since you have these religious convictions, eh, we can probably give you an exemption.
I mean, we're not unreasonable.
- Really? That'd be great.
- Mmm.
Of course, you're still gonna have to go through the initiation.
- Yeah, I figured.
- Yeah.
Fuck, marry, kill.
Caputo, Bennett, O'Neill.
Oh, shit, that's easy, girl.
I'd love to get me a piece of that Bennett.
Even with the stumpy stump? Girl, that's when the shit gets interesting.
It's the dudes like that think they doing you a favor.
- I'd fuck Caputo.
- Mmm.
Huh? Yeah, I like me a mustache.
Tickles in a good way.
Ohh! And he always be looking so sad.
Bet he work extra hard.
Uh-huh.
Uh.
Uh.
Yep.
Yo, I got one.
Fuck, marry, kill the Huxtables.
You know, we're kind of busy right now.
Y'all ain't even gonna talk to me? She said she'd move me back to sales.
I didn't even do nothin'.
We're busy.
There's too many people in here.
It's making the air feel weird.
Just mostly farts.
No, it's like I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
My baby can't breathe.
Turn on the lights.
There's no lights.
It's gonna be okay.
I gotta get out of here.
I gotta get out of here.
- Shh! - I can't breathe.
I can't breathe! It's okay.
You picked up.
I guess Why are you calling? Because it's pitch black and people are pissing in buckets, and when I say "people," I'm also talking about me.
The electric gate won't open, there's a river running through the fucking laundry.
The roads are washed out.
What do you expect me to do right now? - Do I hear light jazz? - Yes, you do, Joe, because I am at a cocktail party on the Upper West Side, drinking Sazeracs with the New York Giants.
Is that what you wanted to hear? I am sorry, but you're gonna have to ride this shit out.
We will talk about it in the morning.
Oh, I guarantee we're gonna talk about it.
We are gonna talk about how your shitty excuse for management has fucked me for the last fucking time.
You think you could do a better job? 'Cause if we look at the evidence from, say, the last few weeks I'm saying that maybe someone who came up a different path from Warden's secretary, who kissed ass and gave neck massages, might've remembered to order diesel for the backup genny.
Okay.
So, we will be discussing the future of your career at the DOC when I get back, but for now, I need you to suck it the fuck up, ride this out, stop crying, and stop calling me.
Hello? Five minutes left for the silent auction! Think of a happy place.
Someplace nice, like a beautiful beach, or like a mountain, or Does she like beaches or mountains or I don't She likes the comic book store on Morris Park.
Okay, yeah, so comics.
There's comics everywhere.
Just a sea of comics as far as your eye can see.
A cocoon of comic books just comforting you.
On your feet, Diaz.
Hey, come on, man, she's not doing well.
I said, get up! Do you really have to be a dick right now? Jumping jacks.
20.
Go.
I can't.
- You defying an officer? - Do it.
One, two, two, three You gonna do something? I'm gonna get Caputo.
- Out loud.
- six, seven, eight, nine Keep breathin'.
Count your breaths.
Yeah, okay.
Incoming.
Can I help? It's PB and J.
I feel like I got this.
You're putting the jelly too close to the edges.
You got to even it out, or it leaks.
Is this happening? - What do you want? - Nothing.
Practically nothing.
You've got the keys to the knife cage? Just drop them on the ground, find them again later.
It's an easy mistake.
It's for self-defense.
And when a knife comes up missing, what do you think's gonna happen to me? "Oh, she lost the keys, so let's go easy on her ass.
" She's going to kill me, Mendoza.
What, in front of the whole prison? Man, you are paranoid as shit.
Fine, forget the knife.
Just give me something sharp.
The cheese grater.
_ You used to be something, you know that, Red? Now you lost your damn mind.
And it's sad.
She don't need to fight you, 'cause she already won.
Miss Rosa? Oh, jeez.
All right.
Hey, hey.
I'm not dead yet.
If that's what's itching you.
No.
No, I thought I mean, I know it's not looking so good.
It's not the dying that's the bad part.
It's that I gotta do it here, you know? The last thing I'm gonna see is you assholes.
You scared me for a minute there.
What's gonna happen when she's born? Um Well, they'll let your mom's family take her.
I can go see her sometimes.
And then what? You gonna tell her you're her daddy? But she needs to keep her mouth shut because everybody thinks that she has a different daddy? And that daddy's in jail because he put his dick in Mommy but be cool? I should never have given you that gum should I? You did a lot of stupid things.
And so did I.
It was both of us.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
We have to do what's best for the kid.
Which is what? Confess.
- And go to prison? - Yeah.
Go to prison.
Do your time.
I'll tell him I love you.
We'll both get out in a few years, we're done with this place, we're a family.
Or walk away.
I won't blame you.
Get a fresh start.
It's like this never happened.
This whole mess is on Mendez.
My baby won't grow up confused.
You think I'm the kind of man that walks away from my kid? Dummy.
You got a chance right now to go back in time.
If someone gave that to me, I would sure as hell be thinking about it.
Do you ever think about why we wear clothes all the time? Like, really think about it? I feel trapped inside my face.
We got 3 inches of water in the bunks.
And now the water's coming in under the library door.
Yo, what about the books? - What about 'em? - They'll get ruined.
Yo, that shit's worth money.
You know how pissed they'd be upstairs? Go on.
Get 'em up on a high shelf.
I'll check on you in a few.
And and take a buddy.
You.
Yeah, you know the library.
Go with her.
And pull the expensive stuff first.
Roll up.
Stress goes right to the spine.
- How's Sister? - Still in medical.
Being force-fed, presumably.
She makes me ashamed of myself.
It is not her.
It's Fig again.
Who does that to an old lady? They always win one way or another.
And if they can't, they just transfer us away.
I'm so scared.
It's so cold on the plane, and the men, they just stare.
Then you get off and you're in this place where you don't know anyone.
I spent five months at Alderson.
Was it like here? It was awesome.
I mean, as far as being deprived of your personal freedom and civil liberties goes.
They had a crafts shop and a volleyball team.
I had Martha Stewart's old bunk.
This place is bullshit.
You got more balls than I thought.
Who's pathetic now? Oh, God! Go ahead.
Go ahead.
This place is getting to me.
Oh, yeah.
You just tried to strangle me with plastic wrap so that you can sell mascara in jail.
This is stupid.
Take what you want.
What do I care? What am I trying to prove? You keep yours, I'll keep mine, all right? We've got enough fucking hell in here already.
Truce.
Truce.
You couldn't try to kill me someplace drier? Oh, God.
Oh, you know what I want right now? What? Oh, God, a Bomb Pop.
I need a fucking popsicle.
Red, white, and blue.
Very patriotic.
You feeling patriotic now? Come on, now, remember what I taught you.
Always treat your lady like a queen.
You go get it for me, I might let you do that last thing again.
- Fuck.
- Go on, now.
- Thank you, baby.
- Yeah.
Mmm.
What's up, RJ? I ain't done nothin', man.
I'm just going to get ice cream.
That's it.
- Catch.
- What the fuck? I got a runner on the steps at McMullen Park.
African-American male, early Request backup.
Oh, no.
Please don't do this, man.
Please, Officer, don't You gonna help or just stand there creepin' me out? Fuck you.
So, what's Vee gonna do to me? She ain't gonna do nothin' to you.
Right.
She threw me out.
That's what you wanted, ain't it? You win.
The only person that ever looked out for me in my entire life, you got her back to turn.
The only person? Well, fuck you.
You ruined everything.
You you couldn't just be my friend.
You gotta you gotta go turn it wrong.
You gotta Wanna take off my clothes Oh, God, when did I ever say a word to you about You said you said plenty of words.
You couldn't let me have one damn thing to myself.
She's not a good person, Taystee.
I don't care.
You fucked up my life.
I'm done.
You just gonna walk away now, too? What the Hey.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry, P.
- I'm sorry.
- I know.
- I'm sorry.
- I know.
I know.
You want to explain? Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
She was trying to help.
A little more help and I'll be dead.
She hates wearing her glasses.
Says it makes her nose look big.
You want to assassinate someone, vision is a basic requirement.
It's like step one, pick a person to kill.
Step two, kill that person.
She won't last a month in the SHU.
This is a royal fuck-up, girls.
Vee is going to know that she is the target.
The whole family is in danger.
Unless we use it to our advantage.
She doesn't know it was a mistake.
We tell her it's a warning shot.
Don't fuck with Red.
Or a 79-year-old woman will shank someone you never met.
That's how scary you are.
Stab a stranger in the kidney just to send a message.
If I was this Vee person, I'd think twice about pissing you off.
It's what Taslitz would want.
Taslitz got us into this situation.
We're not doubling down on that nonsense.
We need to explain what happened peacefully.
A parley.
Parley? What are we, pirates? Well, one of us does have an octopus tattoo.
Taping windows is not a good idea.
It's in the emergency manual.
Bad news, Hurricane Wanda.
You've been downgraded to a tropical storm.
Hilarious.
The weatherman said you're getting wider, though.
You could flatten a few trees when your ass hits land.
Okay, Steve Harvey, we get it.
Last time we had leaks in room four and in intake and in the pharmacy.
They did some patchwork over the summer, but I am not optimistic about what's happening up there.
This place needs a new roof.
Yeah, Fig is all over that.
Don't worry.
She's also getting us an espresso bar and a swimming pool.
So much for learning your lesson, huh? What lesson is that? I don't know, associating with the criminal element.
Girl, I am the criminal element, and so are you, last time I checked.
You know what I mean.
Man, don't start this again.
Yo, she got you thrown in the SHU.
That wasn't her.
That was this place coming down on me like it's done before, and it'll do it again.
Something's gonna fuck you, you know? The system, the man, Vee.
Can't do nothin' about it.
At least Vee gives you back 10%.
She took my friend.
And you gonna fight her forever? Stop making things so hard for yourself.
You all right, Chapman? Yeah.
Yeah.
Get to talk to your lawyer? I talked to one of his partners.
He said that there's, um he said that there's nothing that they can do.
He said prisoners get transferred all the time.
Yeah, we got, like, 30 girls up from Pensacola last year when they had that tuberculosis scare.
This isn't that.
This is Fig fucking me personally.
She's hated me ever since that stupid radio show.
Mmm.
But you, you got connections.
Now, you can fight this.
You got furlough.
I got furlough, and it's biting me in the ass.
Healy said that there's nothing he can do.
He can't ask for any more special favors because it would look inappropriate.
She buried me on that list with, like, a dozen other people.
Ruiz has a new baby.
Well, I'm gonna miss you 'cause you were a decent person.
And do you know what the worst part of it is? Telling my family and realizing that they actually sounded kind of relieved, like they weren't gonna have to spend hours coming to visit me anymore, like they finally got their weekends back.
I mean, you should've heard my mother.
She sounded practically cheerful.
"Well you only have eight months.
It's not like that's forever.
" Eight months is forever.
It's like the less time you got, the slower it goes.
All right, I got to go.
Hey, Morello? You know, you were the first person that was nice to me when I got here.
I was really scared.
You made me feel like it was gonna be okay.
Well, I am gonna remember that you said that for my bad days.
What's that supposed to be? It's a black flag.
International symbol for parley.
And what are we, pirates? I don't banter.
I'm an envoy.
The greenhouse.
After work.
I'll take two chicken noodles and a Neosporin.
Fuck you.
- Nice socks.
- Thanks.
I'd like to alert you to a couple of line items that feel a little wonky.
Okay.
For instance we've got 80 grand here allocated to FitzCORE for the bathroom repair, but I thought that was included in the fee we paid earlier for unspecified plumbing services.
This is a much more extensive job.
Right, I get that, but I feel like there's some overlap happening.
You're doing great work, Hoffman.
Thanks.
So, I think we should dig into this.
Listen, my husband is having a fundraiser tonight.
Why don't you come as my guest? Have a couple cocktails.
The wife'll love it.
I'm pretty sure Tiki Barber is gonna be there.
How's it going? What, me? I'm doing okay.
Thanks for asking.
You know, it's actually not possible for you to ignore me forever.
He moved.
I'm sorry, I'm not following.
The baby.
He moved.
When? Like now? Now? This morning and again after lunch.
He's really in there.
Can I Can't feel nothin' on the outside.
He's too small.
Wait, you're calling it a "he.
" My right boob is larger than the other one.
Gloria says that means he's a boy, and I also keep craving salty stuff.
I You know, I always wanted a boy, like I mean, when I pictured it.
How do you feel about, um Frank as a name? Frank? Like a hot dog? Ah, never mind.
It's It could be a girl, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Oh, shit.
I seem to recall you saying that she wasn't going to be a problem.
How do you know it was even her? A child does childish things.
That little broomstick just cost me serious money.
Who's gonna pay me back? You? Look, I got no part in this.
But you took responsibility.
You think she'd be in here trashing my shit if it wasn't for you? What are you gonna do to her? I'm a businesswoman.
I'm gonna do whatever it takes to neutralize the risk.
Don't get crazy, Vee.
She could have an accident.
That's one option.
What's gonna happen then? The whole place goes on lockdown, the COs tossin' everything.
That's bad for business.
So, what's option two? Take away her incentive to fight me, which is you.
I can't have you around here anymore.
But I'm your girl.
I've been loyal to you from day one.
Ask anyone.
I know that.
You see, this whole thing with your friend, it is bringing me down, it is attracting attention, and I can't have it anymore.
I'll talk to her.
I'll tell her to stay away from Look at this mess.
Look at this mess.
She left this for anyone to see.
Now, what would've happened if a CO had come in here before me, huh? She would rather have you go to the fucking SHU than see you working for me.
I'm sorry, Taystee.
You said you would protect me.
You said it was me and you together.
I'm sure we'll see each other around.
Yo, who wants hot wings? Oh, why do you eat that shit? You know it's a scam to sell off the trash of the chicken? Delicious trash.
We used to cut the wings off and throw 'em away.
Did you know that? Then somebody figured out if you smother 'em in sauce, you could talk people into thinking that they were good.
You ever notice Girl, you ever notice that they don't ever put buffalo sauce on no other chicken parts? Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed.
Yo, hang up the GTA and get in here.
RJ! I thought you were gonna get Thai, you know, that curry soup with the noodles I like.
We had this conversation.
You said that you didn't trust a man who wore flip-flops while he cooks.
I'm tired, I guess.
I haven't been sleeping lately.
I told you it was pizza, man.
You worried about somethin'? I sell smack.
I'm always worried.
Besides, my mattress is too hot.
You sure you ain't sick? No, I'm not sick.
Get outta here.
I never get sick.
You ain't sick, Vee.
You just old.
I had an aunt who was always yelling and sweating.
Couldn't remember a damn thing.
Turned out, it was the change.
Oh, my God.
I'm too young for that shit.
I thought I had more time.
Hey, take it easy, now.
Oh, I am 50 years old.
What the fuck have I done with my life? I should've rent to own.
I should've got me a man! Well, you got us.
How about you put off losing your mind until you get a good night's sleep, and then you see how you feel then? Okay, we all know Trance says the first dumb thing that come to his mind.
Shit, I don't even believe you 50.
You're still as fine as the first day I met you.
Boy, you so full of shit.
You always the smoothest bullshitter in this house.
I'm serious, Vee.
If you wasn't practically my mom, I don't know what might happen.
Boy, you better get outta here.
You have to talk to her, like, all the time.
There's all these studies that say that if if you don't talk to the baby, they end up, like, fucked by the time they're five.
Talk to her.
Sing to her.
You got to promise me, okay? You'll read to her while I'm in Virginia.
All right, I know you don't like to talk, but you gotta do it for her.
Oh, you hear me, baby girl? Huh? I'm talking to you.
That's right, I'm talking to you.
You grab Daddy's face and you make him say shit so that you don't end up like me.
Oh, this something new? You're supposed to keep your hips up.
Keeps the sperm in.
Hmm.
You should start getting ready.
Hoffman's on to us.
Not on to us, but suspicious.
Nah, we're bulletproof on his end.
Just don't make any mistakes.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
It was fun at first, but now I'm not sleeping.
If I got caught, can you imagine? Jesus, babe, you're getting cold feet now? You know, you gotta play dirty if you wanna win.
Rowley gets in office, he drives the whole state off a cliff.
I get it.
This is my career we're talking about.
And my career? Look, you know I totally support you, babe, in every way but you're assistant warden in a prison.
This is the senate.
Think of the doors it will open.
And maybe you'll get pregnant, right? Who knows? I held up my end of the deal.
Now you hold up yours.
What the hell? Think about it, Vee.
Do you really think I'd do something so stupid? No, you're not stupid.
Just pathetic.
Just sent an old fool to do a job that you're afraid to do.
That old fool did exactly what she was supposed to.
Send a warning.
Fuck with me, I fuck back.
Really? 'Cause you know what the message that I got was? You want a war.
Except you bungled the first shot.
If she wanted to kill you, you'd be dead.
Do you do you wanna go? You know the sad part is, I was actually gonna share this with you for old times' sake.
But now my feelings are hurt, so I'm just gonna take it.
Oh, well I hope you enjoy it.
If your people can find the other end, of course.
In the woods, in the middle of nowhere.
How's your son? Yuri, right? Can you guess how many Yuri Reznikovs there are in a two-hour driving radius of Litchfield? Come on, guess.
You're full of shit.
There's only one.
it 2346? I don't remember.
But my boys tell me it's very nice.
Green house, white trim.
You touch my son, I touch you.
Every bruise, every mark the same.
You gonna fight me yourself, Red, or are you gonna send your little army of midgets, crones to do it for you, huh? Norma, you might wanna talk some sense into your friend here.
Remind her of the last time that she fucked with me.
Broken ribs.
Punctured lung.
You're proud of that, are you? We were friends.
We were never friends.
You'll regret that.
What is this? A tea party? What are you even doing out here? We heard the alarm.
It's not the lie-down-on-the-ground alarm, it's the weather-related-emergency alarm.
Let's go.
Get back to the building.
And remind me to give you all shots.
Let's go.
How's your wife? Eh, she's stressed about the kid.
School wants to hold him back.
She takes that shit personal.
Yeah, well, maybe you should take her someplace, you know? Florida.
And who'd look out for my pal, Vee? Tip her off to the action, round up her competition.
Your dedication is heartwarming.
We're as close as can be, right? Till the money runs out.
Oh, by the way, we busted a couple of supply guys across the bridge.
They're bringing in this cheap shit from India.
Took down the whole setup, books, cash, everything.
New York's Finest.
Your boy RJ was on their drop list.
Same address.
I checked.
You ask me, he's going into business for himself.
Keep it moving, everyone.
Nice and calm, we all stay dry.
Hey, man, how is rain coming out the toilet? Can you explain me that? It's not rain.
It's the lake.
The sewer pipes are open, the lake overflows, ground water comes up through all the pipes.
If it come down to swimming, I'm gonna save myself.
I will stand on a bitch's head.
Dorm A, C and F, report to the cafeteria.
Wet-nap? What the fuck am I supposed to do with this, eat it? Probably tastes better than this.
Butter pecan, and it's from, like, two years ago.
We get donations.
You're killing us, Wanda.
Come on, we'll go over there.
You bring your cards? Could be a long night.
Got anything to help me get through it? Get away from me, kibble head.
I am not in the mood.
Pretty sure that this qualifies as unsafe working conditions.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure OSHA's gonna be all over it.
I don't know anything about generators.
The generator's on the roof.
We have to get the pumps working so they'll push fuel up there.
Also, I don't know anything about pumps.
Hey, that's what he said.
Come on, I can't make one stupid joke before I die from drowning and/or electrocution? - Incoming.
- Ugh! Good At least it's dead.
Think of his brothers heading upstairs to get dry.
Okay, so tanks, pumps.
Let's get going.
Man, how come nobody told me these things were down here? I could've been cornering the prison-hooch market.
Look at this.
They got taps built in and everything.
Uh, Luschek? There's nothing in here.
What the fuck? Both empty? Fig again.
Am I right? Now what? Threesome? So, the irony is that Foucault's analysis of power structures ends up being an argument against the institutions of social inequality.
I mean, we talk about this all the time in the locker room.
I don't know why this is so difficult.
So, then Jason says, "Let me talk to her.
" I know, right? But he will not be swayed, so I put him on, and he sits there on the phone with her for 20 minutes.
I counted.
Just listens to her whole story about the building permits and the whole thing with the snakes, and I do not know how he does it, but I swear to God, at the end of that conversation, she writes him a check for $30.
And that's when I knew, this man belongs in Albany.
Sorry, I need her for a minute.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Excuse me.
It's good to see you.
Thank you.
God, if I have to tell that story one more time Joe Caputo again.
This makes call number six.
It's like having children.
I swear, can't Mama have one night out? I guess I should call him back.
FitzCORE just got here.
Oh.
Good, we need this guy to pony up.
Bob, so glad you made it.
Randy, Michelle, I'm so sorry about the rain.
I'm disappointed, Natalie.
I thought for sure you'd figure out how to put the weather off until after tonight.
I could do it right now, but it'd cost you extra.
I'm not complaining about the storm.
Trust me.
It's like money falling from the sky.
I'm guessing that prison of yours is gonna need some very expensive repairs.
I am guessing you're right.
- Lobster slider? - Yes, please.
This way.
Ah.
Here.
We keep the fence between us, but we can all see each other.
No surprises.
You think she's gonna jump you tonight, in front of five COs and 200 witnesses? This is not a sane person we are dealing with.
Oh, man.
I mean, the spirit is willing and everything like that, but we got a serious problem in terms of weight class, you know what I'm saying? We don't have the muscle, so we've got to be smarter.
Great, we'll challenge them to a sudoku contest.
Watch your tone, Gina.
I want eyes on her all night.
She doesn't move without us knowing about it.
Sleep in shifts.
If you go somewhere, take a buddy.
We supposed to be fightin' them? 'Cause that's the Lollipop Guild over there.
I don't know.
Red's bringing all kinds of shit from the outside.
I hear she got a Taser hidden away for just in case.
Where exactly you think she hiding it? In her coochie? Taser would fit right in there.
Red's not a fighter.
She's a schemer.
She makes a move, it'll take us a week to figure out it's her.
Keep your eyes open.
Don't talk to anyone that isn't us.
All right, listen up! This building's pipes are now compromised by water, meaning there is absolutely no working plumbing whatsoever.
So, for the time being, you're gonna answer nature's call in the honey bucket.
Are you serious? Four more just like it down the hallway.
You check with the CO at the door, you do your business, you put the lid back on.
Once it's halfway full, last person dumps it outside.
Brings it back.
What if you gotta number two? You don't.
Keep it clenched, ladies.
Don't be the one to ruin it for everybody.
This is so great in a way, you know? No separate dorms, no walls between us.
Like, we're all just women having the shared experience of deprivation.
Like, the hunger strike but bigger.
Oh, my God, we should totally have a sing-along.
I hate the world today You're so good to me, I know But I can't change Tried to tell you But you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath Nutmeg.
Nutmeg.
- Nutmeg! - Bing-fucking-go.
Whoa.
How much we gotta eat to get gibbled? I don't know.
A lot.
- Hey, Mr.
Healy.
- Hey.
- How are you? - Good, how are you? - Good, do you have any snacks? - Sure, sure.
Come on, take a seat in the trauma counseling center.
So, is the storm scaring you? Making you feel out of control? Not at all.
I just feel, like, hungry, like, for some snacks.
Oh, yeah? We got some snack food here.
- Oh, yes! Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Do you want some water? It's important to hydrate.
No, no, no, no, no.
There's this whole bucket situation that I'm trying to avoid.
Um, hey is it okay if I take a few of these for my neighbor? 'Cause she's a lesbian, and I just wanna, like, distract her.
Which lesbian is that? With the fat stomach and the haircut.
Black? She's, like, the worst one.
No, she's white.
You know you can't say that shit around here.
Trust me No.
No, no, no.
You're talking about Boo.
"Black" is her last name.
You should stay away from her.
You think I can't handle myself? I will say this.
She's got some sick, like, tattoos, like her ink.
Have you seen it? That's how they get you.
Being cool, doing cool things, and before you know it, you're part of their agenda.
What? You know, you should read this book.
It's called The End of Men.
In it they talk about how, pretty soon, men are gonna become irrelevant.
Now women are more educated, they're gonna make more money and pretty much run everything.
- Really? - Mmm.
Well, then, who would, like, be the President? Exactly.
It's the lesbians that started this whole thing.
They're making babies out of a tube.
That's why they're walking around all the time like they're better.
Waiting for us to go obsolete.
That's what they're doing.
No offense, but, uh, men being in charge has never done me any good.
Well, are you eating free cookies? Yes.
You should think about that before you get ideas.
Boo! Yo, hold the fuck on.
Who the fuck is this? I've been hearing some very troubling shit on the street about you, my young friend.
Come on, Vee, it's late.
Damn, you got some nice shit up in here.
Is that a new TV? - What if it is? - Yeah? I don't remember handing you this kind of cash.
Got a friend that hooks me up.
A friend, huh? 'Cause what I hear you been going into business for yourself on the sly.
My customers, my corners.
Yo, look, Vee, I've been running for you a long time, right? You took me out of foster and raised me from a kid, but I'm grown now.
It's time for me to go out on my own.
So, you wanna compete with me on my own fucking turf, you motherfucker? Come on, now, Vee! Think I'm gonna play you hard like that? Look, I'm sorry, okay? I should've told you.
I guess I was kind of scared.
You know, but how's this? I'll give you a percentage.
Whatever you want.
Look, I ain't trying to game you, Vee, I swear.
It hurts me you even thinking I would.
Come on, now.
Okay.
Shit.
Okay.
Oh, God damn, I must be going soft, 'cause you always were my favorite.
Yeah, I kind of got that feeling.
Yeah, ever since you were a little boy.
But you're a man now.
Guess I am.
A man who loves his mama.
Hey.
You know I'm being transferred, too so at least we'll know each other.
We don't know each other.
I know, I just meant at least we'll both be from the same place.
And I can see why you wouldn't give a shit about that.
How much time do you have? - Six years.
- Fuck.
I saw you with your boyfriend.
Seems like he loves you a lot, huh? Fuck him.
I'm gonna come home finally, my baby'll be in the first grade calling some other puta "Mommy.
" Men can't help it.
They're weak.
Bam.
Bam.
Okay.
Bam, bam.
- Hey.
- Hmm? How's this whole "agenda" thing work? I got a lot of those.
Specify.
The gay agenda to take over the world? Okay.
First of all, keep your voice down.
This shit is top secret.
Are you gonna let all the men die out? Oh, fuck, no, we need slaves.
You know, bookkeeping, janitorial, fetch and carry, that kind of shit.
Yeah, what about for sex? 'Cause I know I like how they smell kind of funky and they're big and they have dicks and all that.
Well, maybe but when you're done, you gotta toss 'em away like trash.
I mean, the whole point of this is chicks digging each other and being in charge.
Let's say I wanna join, right? Okay, let's say that.
Shh.
Would I have to do anything disgusting against the word of God? You know? I'm talking about eating pussy, if you catch my drift.
Yeah, I hear you.
And that is a big part of it, I'm not gonna lie.
But since you have these religious convictions, eh, we can probably give you an exemption.
I mean, we're not unreasonable.
- Really? That'd be great.
- Mmm.
Of course, you're still gonna have to go through the initiation.
- Yeah, I figured.
- Yeah.
Fuck, marry, kill.
Caputo, Bennett, O'Neill.
Oh, shit, that's easy, girl.
I'd love to get me a piece of that Bennett.
Even with the stumpy stump? Girl, that's when the shit gets interesting.
It's the dudes like that think they doing you a favor.
- I'd fuck Caputo.
- Mmm.
Huh? Yeah, I like me a mustache.
Tickles in a good way.
Ohh! And he always be looking so sad.
Bet he work extra hard.
Uh-huh.
Uh.
Uh.
Yep.
Yo, I got one.
Fuck, marry, kill the Huxtables.
You know, we're kind of busy right now.
Y'all ain't even gonna talk to me? She said she'd move me back to sales.
I didn't even do nothin'.
We're busy.
There's too many people in here.
It's making the air feel weird.
Just mostly farts.
No, it's like I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
My baby can't breathe.
Turn on the lights.
There's no lights.
It's gonna be okay.
I gotta get out of here.
I gotta get out of here.
- Shh! - I can't breathe.
I can't breathe! It's okay.
You picked up.
I guess Why are you calling? Because it's pitch black and people are pissing in buckets, and when I say "people," I'm also talking about me.
The electric gate won't open, there's a river running through the fucking laundry.
The roads are washed out.
What do you expect me to do right now? - Do I hear light jazz? - Yes, you do, Joe, because I am at a cocktail party on the Upper West Side, drinking Sazeracs with the New York Giants.
Is that what you wanted to hear? I am sorry, but you're gonna have to ride this shit out.
We will talk about it in the morning.
Oh, I guarantee we're gonna talk about it.
We are gonna talk about how your shitty excuse for management has fucked me for the last fucking time.
You think you could do a better job? 'Cause if we look at the evidence from, say, the last few weeks I'm saying that maybe someone who came up a different path from Warden's secretary, who kissed ass and gave neck massages, might've remembered to order diesel for the backup genny.
Okay.
So, we will be discussing the future of your career at the DOC when I get back, but for now, I need you to suck it the fuck up, ride this out, stop crying, and stop calling me.
Hello? Five minutes left for the silent auction! Think of a happy place.
Someplace nice, like a beautiful beach, or like a mountain, or Does she like beaches or mountains or I don't She likes the comic book store on Morris Park.
Okay, yeah, so comics.
There's comics everywhere.
Just a sea of comics as far as your eye can see.
A cocoon of comic books just comforting you.
On your feet, Diaz.
Hey, come on, man, she's not doing well.
I said, get up! Do you really have to be a dick right now? Jumping jacks.
20.
Go.
I can't.
- You defying an officer? - Do it.
One, two, two, three You gonna do something? I'm gonna get Caputo.
- Out loud.
- six, seven, eight, nine Keep breathin'.
Count your breaths.
Yeah, okay.
Incoming.
Can I help? It's PB and J.
I feel like I got this.
You're putting the jelly too close to the edges.
You got to even it out, or it leaks.
Is this happening? - What do you want? - Nothing.
Practically nothing.
You've got the keys to the knife cage? Just drop them on the ground, find them again later.
It's an easy mistake.
It's for self-defense.
And when a knife comes up missing, what do you think's gonna happen to me? "Oh, she lost the keys, so let's go easy on her ass.
" She's going to kill me, Mendoza.
What, in front of the whole prison? Man, you are paranoid as shit.
Fine, forget the knife.
Just give me something sharp.
The cheese grater.
_ You used to be something, you know that, Red? Now you lost your damn mind.
And it's sad.
She don't need to fight you, 'cause she already won.
Miss Rosa? Oh, jeez.
All right.
Hey, hey.
I'm not dead yet.
If that's what's itching you.
No.
No, I thought I mean, I know it's not looking so good.
It's not the dying that's the bad part.
It's that I gotta do it here, you know? The last thing I'm gonna see is you assholes.
You scared me for a minute there.
What's gonna happen when she's born? Um Well, they'll let your mom's family take her.
I can go see her sometimes.
And then what? You gonna tell her you're her daddy? But she needs to keep her mouth shut because everybody thinks that she has a different daddy? And that daddy's in jail because he put his dick in Mommy but be cool? I should never have given you that gum should I? You did a lot of stupid things.
And so did I.
It was both of us.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
We have to do what's best for the kid.
Which is what? Confess.
- And go to prison? - Yeah.
Go to prison.
Do your time.
I'll tell him I love you.
We'll both get out in a few years, we're done with this place, we're a family.
Or walk away.
I won't blame you.
Get a fresh start.
It's like this never happened.
This whole mess is on Mendez.
My baby won't grow up confused.
You think I'm the kind of man that walks away from my kid? Dummy.
You got a chance right now to go back in time.
If someone gave that to me, I would sure as hell be thinking about it.
Do you ever think about why we wear clothes all the time? Like, really think about it? I feel trapped inside my face.
We got 3 inches of water in the bunks.
And now the water's coming in under the library door.
Yo, what about the books? - What about 'em? - They'll get ruined.
Yo, that shit's worth money.
You know how pissed they'd be upstairs? Go on.
Get 'em up on a high shelf.
I'll check on you in a few.
And and take a buddy.
You.
Yeah, you know the library.
Go with her.
And pull the expensive stuff first.
Roll up.
Stress goes right to the spine.
- How's Sister? - Still in medical.
Being force-fed, presumably.
She makes me ashamed of myself.
It is not her.
It's Fig again.
Who does that to an old lady? They always win one way or another.
And if they can't, they just transfer us away.
I'm so scared.
It's so cold on the plane, and the men, they just stare.
Then you get off and you're in this place where you don't know anyone.
I spent five months at Alderson.
Was it like here? It was awesome.
I mean, as far as being deprived of your personal freedom and civil liberties goes.
They had a crafts shop and a volleyball team.
I had Martha Stewart's old bunk.
This place is bullshit.
You got more balls than I thought.
Who's pathetic now? Oh, God! Go ahead.
Go ahead.
This place is getting to me.
Oh, yeah.
You just tried to strangle me with plastic wrap so that you can sell mascara in jail.
This is stupid.
Take what you want.
What do I care? What am I trying to prove? You keep yours, I'll keep mine, all right? We've got enough fucking hell in here already.
Truce.
Truce.
You couldn't try to kill me someplace drier? Oh, God.
Oh, you know what I want right now? What? Oh, God, a Bomb Pop.
I need a fucking popsicle.
Red, white, and blue.
Very patriotic.
You feeling patriotic now? Come on, now, remember what I taught you.
Always treat your lady like a queen.
You go get it for me, I might let you do that last thing again.
- Fuck.
- Go on, now.
- Thank you, baby.
- Yeah.
Mmm.
What's up, RJ? I ain't done nothin', man.
I'm just going to get ice cream.
That's it.
- Catch.
- What the fuck? I got a runner on the steps at McMullen Park.
African-American male, early Request backup.
Oh, no.
Please don't do this, man.
Please, Officer, don't You gonna help or just stand there creepin' me out? Fuck you.
So, what's Vee gonna do to me? She ain't gonna do nothin' to you.
Right.
She threw me out.
That's what you wanted, ain't it? You win.
The only person that ever looked out for me in my entire life, you got her back to turn.
The only person? Well, fuck you.
You ruined everything.
You you couldn't just be my friend.
You gotta you gotta go turn it wrong.
You gotta Wanna take off my clothes Oh, God, when did I ever say a word to you about You said you said plenty of words.
You couldn't let me have one damn thing to myself.
She's not a good person, Taystee.
I don't care.
You fucked up my life.
I'm done.
You just gonna walk away now, too? What the Hey.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry, P.
- I'm sorry.
- I know.
- I'm sorry.
- I know.
I know.
You want to explain? Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!