Packed to the Rafters (2008) s02e12 Episode Script
Out of Left Field
(CH UCKLES) Check this out.
(CH UCKLES) Our dog used to do that.
Oi, Carbo.
Carbo.
Come on.
What, is she here already? Mate, you need to chill.
She doesn't get here till tomorrow night.
(GROANS) Good.
Right.
Well, OK, off to bed.
Come on, chop chop.
It's 8:30.
Yeah, we've got the whole place to tidy.
Early start for all of us.
Why don't we just clean up now'? I'm knackered.
BEN: Me and Carbo, we've been best mates since we were four.
Sure, he's got his faults (CLATFERS) That did it.
like not watching where he's going.
Carbo never sees things coming.
BOY: (SHOUTS) Carbo.
Carbo, watch out! (WHISTLE BLOWS) Right out of left of field.
And I'm the one who's always had to be there for him You OK'? BOY: (SHOUTS) Carbo! BOTH: La, la, la, lyncha.
Thanks, Benno.
No worries.
"To pick him up and dust him off (CLATFERING) CARBO: Ouch! "Most of the time.
Karandonis takes on one, takes on two.
Oh, yeah! Wouldn't let Carbo see you doing that.
I'm just checking the What are you doing? Told you.
You're meant to be cleaning up.
I'm checking her arrival.
You should check in case the plane's late.
Oh, yeah.
I was just about to do that.
So, who is this girl, anyway'? The queen of Lesbos? She's just a nice chick.
First time off the island.
Mum will kill me if I don't treat her right.
Everything must be perfect.
So while she's here, no walking around in your undies.
We gotta hide the X-rated DVDs, the gangster rap and the mega-violent video games.
Carbo, they're all yours.
And I want them out of my sight.
So is Artemis your second or third cousin'? Not all Greeks are related.
She's my mum's best friend's daughter.
'S cousin.
Oh, so this is a set-up.
What? Matchmaking, best friends setting up their kids.
I know how that works, trust me.
No, she's like a sister.
She's just a baby.
Babies grow up.
Do you reckon she's got a moustache? Hey, that is such a dumb stereotype.
I wish it was.
Carbo, are you sure about that flight number? Yeah, why'? Well, according to this, the plane landed an hour ago.
Mum will kill me! From the other side of the world? You haven't met my mum, have you? Fair call.
Carbo's dead.
She's only a little girl, all alone in a big country.
She'll be freaking out.
She won't know what to do.
WOMAN: Nickolaki-poo! BE N: N icko what? It's a nickname.
So much for freaking out.
Five bucks on the moustache.
Arte! Nickolaki-poo! It is so good to see you.
I have missed you.
You're so big.
I mean, you're not six.
And you are not 12.
BEN: And as if grown-up Artemis wasn't enough of a shock Mum! Nicko! My baby.
Surprise! Hi, how you going'? (WOMAN GIGGLES, MOANS) (GROANS) Morning.
Morning, Grandad.
Mum and Dad are âsleeping in" again.
Mmm, why do you think I've got the radio on? (CH UCKLES) (DISTANT GROANS) I think I might join Rachel outside.
You coming? I wish.
I promised Sammy I'd make breakfast.
So grab her a banana.
Morning.
Mum around? NATHAN: Ah, they're âsleeping in".
Ah.
You don't wanna go in there.
Why'? (DAVE AND JULIE GRUNT AND MOAN) Oh! JULIE: Ben! Oh, God! (DAVE AND JULIE LAUGH) Told ya.
I'm just gonna wash my eyes out with acid.
Hmm.
Uh, but whenwhen Mum's Awake.
Yeah.
Can you just tell her everyone's invited to a barbecue tomorrow'? Carbo's mum's best friend's daughter's cousin's sister's whatever's arrived.
Rita too.
Rita.
Yeah, she just turned up.
Gave Carbo the wrong arrival time.
Wanted to surprise him.
So we have damper, vegemite and lamingtons.
What else is typically Australian? Roast lamb? Greek.
Seafood platter.
Greek.
What is it with this country? There's no original food.
Kangaroos.
Kangaroos, thanks.
1O points.
Mate, you need to chill out.
So you didn't collect them.
She gave you the wrong time.
Yeah, but we didn't clean the house.
She's up there right now, doing this and this and this.
You remember that list she left us'? She's returned to see if we stuck to it.
As if we did! Nicko! Down here, Mum.
We're having a barbecue.
You know, just us and the Rafters.
To welcome Arte.
You know, all-Australian kangaroo steaks.
With kangaroos? How was the shower, Arte'? Nice and hot? It was perfect, thank you.
Mum? Fine, fine.
I'm just glad I pulled off my little surprise.
You know why I did it, don't you? No.
Why do you think? I don't know.
You know.
Do I? Oh, silly boy.
Because I missed my baby.
When I saw Artemis packing it made me miss him even more, so I said, âTheo, why don't I surprise him?" Now, why don't I make us all some coffee? Hmm'? I'm sorry! I didn't want her to come.
She drove me crazy on the plane.
That's OK.
She's not here for long.
One day is too long.
We have to get rid of her.
How am I even supposed to have fun and meet boys with her here? BEN: Nah, he never sees it coming.
What? I'm not six anymore.
(CHUCKLES) (GROANS) Phew! (swans) You know, I've been thinking.
About poor Ben? He's gonna be traumatised for life.
Serves him right.
24 years old, hasn't learned how to knock yet.
No, I've been thinking about having the snip.
What, as in the Yeah, yeah.
Snip-snip.
Oh (SNIGGERS) Um And sooner, rather than later.
Excuse me, woman in second trimester.
I think it's a bit late for preventative measures.
Yeah, I'm just thinking ahead.
I know the chances of you getting pregnant again are slim.
I'd be up for some kind of fertility award.
I just think it's my turn to take the responsibility, you know'? Oh.
Lightning can strike twice.
Darling, that's very thoughtful of you, but let's face it - once this baby's born we won't be having sex for at least 18 years.
Sad but true.
Mmm.
And what's the rush? I haven't finished with you yet.
Mmm.
You're a shameless woman, you know that'? Shameless.
Mmm.
Sam.
Sam! Oh (CHUCKLES) It's safe to come out.
Sleep-in time is over.
Hmm, how's your assignment going'? I don't know where to start.
(READS) âExplore the impact of the current economic climate âon two professionals in contrasting fields and their responses to it.
" What's the problem? I don't wanna screw it up by interviewing the wrong people.
I'll take that.
Thanks.
What about Owen? Owen? Yeah.
Well, you must have thought of him.
(SCOFFS) I did, but you hate Owen.
I don't hate Owen and he would be perfect to talk to.
What have you done? What do you mean? Why are you being so helpful? Because you're my wife and I want you to do well.
Andyou're sure you wouldn't mind me seeing him? What, the guy you loved before you met me? The guy that's never really gotten over you? What's the problem? Stop it.
It's just the way you've handled my screw-ups lately, Sam, I'm just returning the favour.
OK'? Socall him.
Thank you so much for doing this.
Hey, my pleasure.
I'm just glad you called.
OK, so my approach to this article is going to be personal, relaxed.
I don't want it to be too dry or analytical.
(CLEARS THROAT) So, how's Nathan? He's fantastic.
Um, he just started an amazing job in the music industry, actually.
Music now, is it? I thought he was all about real estate.
Oh, well, it's all sales.
I mean, he'd be successful either way.
Mmm.
Right.
Um (CLEARS THROAT) .
.
you were away for a couple of years.
What's changed since you got back from London? Er, well, professionally, things aren't great - obviously.
Mm-hm.
Socially, I'm still single.
What are you doing? You said to make it personal.
Um, your personal take on the global recession, not your love life.
Sorry, I thought Fine.
The way I see it, we live in a culture of instant gratification.
In what sense'? Well, we all want short-term gains.
No-one looks at the bigger picture.
But there's nothing like an economic crisis to make you reassess your priorities.
And I realise that a bad choice made today comes back to bite you tomorrow.
Owen, can you please just stick to economics'? I was.
You weren't.
What? (GREEK MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR STEREO) Where is all your good music? There's some great CDs there.
Nana Mouskouri.
That was left over from Mum's last visit.
(TURNS MUSIC OFF) OK, rule 1.
I know you've got Mum conned 'Canned'? You know, tricked, fooled.
I'm not going to take the blame when she discovers you're not as innocent as she thinks.
I am innocent.
Good, keep it that way.
Oh, hey, Nick.
Oh, g'day, Mrs Rafter.
This is Arte.
Oh, hi, Arte.
Welcome to Sydney.
Are you coming tomorrow'? I wouldn't miss it.
ls your mum in'? Unfortunately.
Sorry'? She's sleeping.
Yeah, jet lag, but she was talking about going to see you later.
Oh, good.
Look forward to it.
Hi, darling.
Hi.
Nathan gave me your message.
Good, great.
I see you finally got yourself out of bed.
Ooh.
You alright, Mrs Rafter? Mum.
Yeah-no, I just feel a bit light-headed, that's all.
Like you're gonna faint? No.
Oh, no, no.
Probably Haven't had breakfast, I'm fine.
If anyone should feel faint it's me, after what I almost saw this morning.
Should I hang a sock on the doorknob next time? Oh, gross.
I'd better let you get on.
Off to the beach? Yes, Bondi.
Oh, well.
Great surf, fish and chips.
Hot lifesavers.
OK, in the car.
OK, well, enjoy.
I'll see you at the barbie.
See you, Mrs Rafter.
OK, you got everything there? Towel, sunscreen? Yes, Nicko.
Good, good.
Hang on, seatbelts on? BEN: Anyone but Carbo could see Arte was up to something.
But what she planned for the beach, that definitely came from left of field.
Do you know how lucky you are? Yes, I do.
I mean, how many guys even think about taking responsibility for birth control? Especially when there's so much on his plate.
I mean, what with his mother back in his life and the business.
I know, I know.
I'm just curious about his timing, that's all.
Julie, why don't you just accept the fact that you're married to a gorgeous, loving husband who is offering to have a vasec Anyway, so when I saw Rita this morning I practically had to do a commando roll to avoid her seeing me.
(CHUCKLES) Hidarling.
How'd the Walsh job go? (CHORTLES) Let me guess.
Oh, sorry.
It's just we're girlfriends and Girlfriends talk.
Yeah.
I'm your boss, Chrissy.
It's a bit.
.
Look at it this way, Dave - at least you don't have to make up a story about when you have it done.
(CHUCKLES) That's me done.
Better get out of here before the dragon wakes.
Dragon? Rita, the ex-girlfriend eater.
See you both.
JULIE: Bye.
Oh, what? Be proud.
Mmm.
(SNIGGERS) Traditional Aussie cuisine.
How do you like it? We do have fish and potatoes on Lesbos.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
I didn't mean I'm teasing you! When are we going swimming? Oh, no, you have to wait half an hour.
Right, Mel? That is such an old wives' tale.
What's so funny? You've changed, Nicko.
You're soresponsible.
Not naughty like before.
Naughty? Our Carbo? Surely not.
When I was six he came to stay in our village.
Everyone remembers Nicko.
What did you do? I kind of borrowed her dad's car.
We drove all over the island.
My father was so angry.
It was so much fun.
MELISSA: How old were you? About 12.
(CHUCKLES) After that I always wanted to visit Nicko here in Australia.
Come on, I reckon we stick our toes in the water.
Whoa! I said toes, yeah? Beat you down there! Put your top back on! MAN: Arte.
Dane! It is so good to finally meet you.
(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS) NATHAN: Your phone.
Not from Jake, then.
Uh-uh.
So he hasn't spoke to you in, what, a week now'? Maybe that's a good thing.
How is that a good thing, Nathan? Mother issues can turn into Norman Bates territory.
Ah, see, but Jake doesn't have mother issues.
She's got son issues.
Will you wait for the economy to improve'? I don't know.
Might take years.
I don't wanna get stuck in a rut.
I know the feeling.
Hmm.
Sammy, I'm starving.
If we're gonna keep going with this we should at least get dinner.
There's a great new place round the corner.
Yeah, look, I've got more than enough.
You've been great.
Thank you.
But I haven't given you my best insights.
Nathan will be waiting for me.
They're worth hearing, trust me.
Solid gold for your article.
BEN: Funny thing is, sometimes you know precisely what's coming at you Up to you.
My shout.
but you don't move to stop it, even when you know you should.
Yeah.
Yeah, OK.
I'll see you when you get home.
OK, bye.
Ooh, it's nice to see Sammy asks your permission before she eats.
She's out with Owen.
Right.
I'm trusting her and she's trusting me.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Ooh, that's probably Sammy again, then, just wondering if she can have dessert too.
Layla, hey.
Ah, that's a little bit of late notice.
Can we possibly make it another night? Right, OK.
Well, where and when? OK.
I'll see you then.
Bye.
Layla.
(SIGHS) Got two words to say about that woman - bad influence.
I did drugs once.
Yeah, well, two strikes and you're out, remember? Right.
Well, like I said, trust both ways.
Can we please just drop it? It's dropped.
She'll be up the duff before she even leaves the beach.
When did you get so stitched up? When Mum got out of the cab.
Arte's just having a good time.
So is Dane, I reckon.
Oi! Hands above the water! Above the water! MELISSA: Come on.
It's sort of sweet.
Like long-distance romance.
CARBO: Sweet?! She met him on Facebook.
And talking on Skype doesn't count.
It's not real.
Well, they're definitely making up for lost time.
And what is wrong with that'? She's an adult.
We're all here.
He won't violate her in front of us.
Shh.
Don't even say that out loud.
Greek mothers have sonic hearing.
Like bats.
Dane's taking me for a dig at the park.
DANE: Gig.
To a gig.
A gig at the pub.
See'? I've learnt two new words already.
I bet there's a few more he wants to teach you.
Hey, so you're in a band, mate? Yeah, that's right.
So, what kind of music do you play'? Oi! I thought you said you guys were gonna help! Why are we pretending this is normal? This is not normal.
Carbo No.
I'm not gonna lie to your parents so you can screw around, OK'? It's not gonna happen.
Come on.
You can't tell me what to do.
Mate, this is so not cool.
Yeah, neither are you.
Come.
We're going.
Grab your stuff.
Carbo No.
And get lost, mate.
Nickolaki-poo! Nickolaki-poo is dead.
You need to get some sleep.
Ben, Mel, move it.
BEN: Carbo had had it with balls to the head.
It was time to start kicking a few goals.
Arte? MEL: You looked on her Facebook? She was asleep.
Does that make it better? Mate, it's going a bit too far.
You can't spy on her.
Why not? If the Trojans looked up the wooden horse's bum, they might still be here today.
All's fair in love and war.
Oh, which is this? Oh, what do you think? Forewarned is forearmed.
The last message was sent just before we went to the beach.
That's how he knew we were there.
Mate, you're cracking up.
You can't do this.
Look, I can and I am.
I'm gonna save her from herself.
I'm starving.
Carbo I know, I know, mate.
OK'? I know you don't get it.
Ooh! Want some moussaka'? I wanna know what's going on.
But, yeah, cut me a piece.
Mate, the last time you mentioned Arte was years ago.
What's up? It's a Greek thing.
Oh, stop it with the âGreek thing It's 'Carbo' Carbo, not 'Greek' Carbo.
Have you got the hots for her? What? No! Look, mate, she's like a baby sister.
I told you, OK'? I just don't want her to get busted.
Why? Alright.
Fine.
You know that trip to Lesbos? The time I met her? It was straight after the under 12s soccer final.
You've probably forgotten that game.
Er, the only time we got in the grand final'? The one when you totally missed the shot off the free kick and cost us the championship? BOTH: Hey, Carbo! Hey! Whoo-hoo! Don't listen to the girls! Come on! We'll get it back! We'll get it back! Yeah.
That's the one.
Anyway, it felt like I'd just lost the Grand Prix.
OK'? And then, in Lesbos, I met Arte.
She followed me everywhere.
Yeah.
Nathan used to do that.
Deeply annoying.
Yeah, but it wasn't, mate.
You know'? I was her hero.
Like Achilles or Hercules.
Or even the Socceroos.
Then I stole her dad's car.
She thought I was so cool.
So, the whole big brother act Look, I can't help it.
You know'? Every time I look at her, I see this little girl.
Except now she's this giant girl that wears tight clothes, make-up and goes out with guys with tatts.
And that's why I have to look out for her.
Simple as that.
Have you boys got any washing to do? I can't sleep.
I just keep lying there, my eyes like saucers.
I have to keep busy.
Thanks, Mum.
That'd be great.
Oh! You found the moussaka.
That's it.
I'll make you some more.
Not a word, OK'? I'll handle it.
Obviously the financial crisis hasn't impacted you that badly.
I've been meaning to come here for ages.
But I had no-one to bring, so Oh, poor baby.
Desperate and dateless.
No-one I really wanted to share it with.
Whoa, hey! Sammy! Relax.
It's over between us.
I know that.
But I just have one question.
Owen Nah.
I've answered plenty of yours.
Please? Thanks.
How long after we broke up did you get together with Nathan? Don't do this.
I know you love him now but did you hook up on the rebound? No, of course not.
This is ridiculous.
Then why can't you tell me? A few months? A few weeks, Sammy? Oh.
Weeks.
You have no right to ask me this.
You left me.
Sammy, wait.
Please.
You're right.
I shouldn't have brought it up.
I'm happy you're happy.
I just I wish I'd never left.
Then I never would have met Nathan.
Exactly.
Look, let's just have a good time, eh'? As friends.
Please? Um So, what are you gonna have? LAYLA: Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
There was a massive accident on Victoria Road.
I guess our client's running late too? Um, he actuallyjust cancelled.
Yeah, I was gonna call you but I figured you'd almost be here, so Layla, you probably Look, we need to debrief anyway so why not do it on the company tab? Look, just sit down.
Debrief about what? Um, well, mainly about why you've been acting so weird all week.
I'm sorry? Look, um, Nathan, I-if something is the matter, then Ithen I think we should clear the air.
OK.
Er, I think we've been blurring the lines a little.
What? Is that a cocaine pun? Oh.
No! No.
Not deliberately.
But, yeah, it is kind of about that.
You think I'm interested in you? Mmm Nathan.
Nathan, relax, OK'? Your marriage vows are safe with me.
OK.
So, air cleared? Mm-hm.
Can we eat now'? Mmm, actually, I might just go home.
OK.
Mmm.
What's wrong'? Excuse me a sec.
Sam.
Hey! Hi.
This restaurant really must be the latest hot spot.
Hi, Sammy.
We're just, um having a client meeting.
Mmm.
Without the client.
(CH UCKLES AWK\NARDLY) You said you weren't coming home, so Yeah, and we're actually just about to eat, so why don't you invite your friend to join us'? Orwe Yeah, I'd just like a word with my husband.
Thanks.
Yep.
OK.
Yeah.
Sammy, before you say anything, the client did cancel.
Why didn't Layla cancel? Because it was too late and we had issues to sort.
Work issues.
And she had to do it at an expensive restaurant with mood lighting? Like your interview with Owen? Can we please just talk about this later? I don't trust her.
Hey, guys, is everything OK'? Yeah.
Yes.
Actually Everything3 fine.
Good.
I talked to the waiter.
He's got us a table for four.
I thought it'd be kind of weird otherwise.
And your friend (WHISPERS) .
.
he's very cute.
I'll be there in a minute.
I've gotta go to the bathroom.
I'll go talk to her.
It'll be fine.
No.
Layla.
Layla! (DOOR OPENS) (SIGHS) Look, Sammy, I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding.
What would that be'? Well, you think something's going on between Nathan and me.
No, actually.
I don't.
But I think you're trying it on with him.
Because we're having a meeting in a restaurant? No.
Because you're lonely and angry that your boyfriend's cheating on you so you're using Nathan to make yourself feel better.
So much for confidentiality.
Well, he had to give me some reason for getting home at 3:00am so often.
Or was that just the coke that you've been supplying him? Sammy! That was once, OK'? Andand as for Steve you know, maybe you're right.
Steve and I have an open relationship, OK'? And it works well most of the time.
But lately, not so much.
And the only person that lonely, angry Layla has to turn to who's even remotely interested in listening to her is Nathan.
Well Right.
And I'm sorry if it has been difficult for you.
But it really wasn't my intention, OK'? I'm sorry.
I just No, don't be.
You know, if some strange woman was taking up all of my partner's time I'd be pretty suspicious too.
In fact, that's exactly my problem with Steve.
Now, um, the way I see it is that we have two choices.
You can either slap my face and we can go for it in a full-on scrag fight or else we can let it go and head back out there and be fabulous.
They'd both be pretty fun but I think the second one's a bit more dignified, don't you? BEN: Nathan had expected a catfight.
A truce was definitely out of left field.
So, you're sure you don't mind? What? Mind talking about myself? Sammy, you clearly do not know me yet.
Just call me tomorrow and we'll set up a time.
OK.
And that's my assignment research done in two days.
Cool.
We make quite the information double act, I think.
I'd better head.
Talk to you soon.
Yeah.
Let me know how the article goes.
What are your plans for the rest of the night? Home.
Shower.
Sleep.
Nightclub? Nice to meet you, Layla.
'Night, Sammy.
Goodbye.
OWEN: Nathan.
NATHAN: See ya.
LAYLAI Oh, well.
Next Oh-ho! No.
I think it's probably time we got you to a cab.
Oh, that time already? Come on, guys.
Oh! My jacket! Hold on.
Layla, about that meeting tomorrow, I never told Sammy about that kiss so can you please - just in case - don't mention it? What kiss? That night that we were out of it.
I was leaving and you kissed me.
You No'? No.
You don't remember it, do you? No, I don't.
I'm sorry.
No wonder you thought I was coming on to you.
But, Nath, in the future, just ignore everything I do when I'm under the influence.
OK.
You won't tell her.
Right? No.
My lips are sealed.
Er, unlike that night, apparently.
Anyway, say bye to Sammy for me.
I'm gonna go and get my own cab.
OK.
Bye! Justbe careful.
BEN: It never occurred to Nathan that if someone can forget a kiss when they're on drugs, they can also forget a promise when they're drunk.
You go out there, I'll tell Mum the whole deal.
You scared me! I don't wanna but I will.
Then she'll take you straight back home.
What are you doing here? âPick you up at midnight and we can ride all night.
" You've been on my computer?! Shh! You'll wake up Mum.
What are you? A prison guard? Look, you don't know this guy from a rear spoiler.
I wanted to make sure you're safe.
(SPEAKS GREEK) Maybe I should be your father.
Go to bed! I'm going out! No, you're not.
I'm not a child.
You're not going anywhere.
Watch me.
Mum! (GAS PS) Don't you dare! Hey, Mum! Shhh! Your choice.
Bed or Mum.
Alright.
I'm going to bed.
Look, you can go on dates.
Fine.
But you do it the right way.
Open, honestly, in front of everyone.
But not Mum.
I hate you.
If you're here to see Arte, you're wasting your time, mate.
Now, if you're legit, maybe we'll see you again.
But if this is just some kind of easy internet pick-up, I guess we won't.
Either way, you'll be dealing with me.
Got it? Now get lost.
And make it quiet.
(ENGINE ROARS) (DOG BARKS) Hey.
Nice job, mate.
Reckon he'll come back? Nah.
He's gone.
Where's Arte'? Don't worry.
She's in her room.
I just checked.
Thanks, mate.
Any sign of Mum? Nah.
She must have crashed.
This is doing my head in.
Why won't she listen to me? She's 18.
But that doesn't mean she can't see I'm just looking out for her.
Yeah.
She will.
I hope so.
I'm not sure how much more I can take.
'Night, mate.
'Night, Benno.
(CLOSES DOOR) BEN: Rita was playing a surprise game of her own.
And this time, it wasn't Carbo who'd be hit from left of field.
Arte's a little minx.
From a good family but has her parents completely fooled.
But not me or my Nicko.
Just as I thought.
So that's why you're here? To make sure that Carbo can chaperone a teenage girl'? Hi.
Sorry.
Parking Oh.
Hi! Look who I, er, ran into.
Ah, Chrissy.
There are things that need saying.
And there are things that were said.
Hug a grateful mother.
A boy like Nick does not give up unless guided by a wiser mind.
Older but wiser.
Nick got cold feet about the engagement just as much as I did.
But other women, women like you, are called 'cougars' for a reason.
They have claws that cling tight.
But you let Nick go.
And for that, I will always, always be grateful.
Oh, Rita, gosh, that'sthat is so generous.
We were just talking about Arte.
What about her? You think I'd come here if I didn't have plans for the two of them? The two of them? Arte and Carbo? As a couple? Of course! I thought arranged marriages had gone out of fashion.
Oh, it's not arranged.
It's just.
.
.
encouraged.
Um, does Carbo know'? Of course not.
But he'll see sense.
I mean, they're perfect for each other.
Both Greek, family connections, similar interests, similar age.
But enough about my children.
Jules, are you alright? Yeah.
I think I need to sit down.
Are you OK'? (RITA SCREAMS) OK.
OK, here she comes.
Hey.
Are you back with us'? Don't rush.
God! There's no rush.
What happened? You fainted.
Easy does it.
Ooh! Has this happened before'? Umno.
I mean, I was feeling a bit light-headed yesterday but I just put it down to Dave and I overdoing it.
You were unconscious.
Come on, now.
Let's get you home to bed.
No, no, no.
The only place you're going is to see your doctor.
I don't want you going home until you've been checked out.
Unwise in love, so wise in life.
Oh.
Thank you.
I think.
(LAUGHS) Look, I can't promise I'll make much sense.
I'm feeling pretty fragile.
Hungover? Yeah.
That and, um, Steve called this morning.
So, needless to say, there were fireworks.
Oh.
Sorry.
Oh, God, no.
Don't be.
I'll get over it.
I always do.
(CHUCKLES) I take it he does this a lot? Mmm.
Yeah, well, like I said, we're in sort of an open relationship.
Only occasionally I get jealous.
I guess he's just a bit more open than me.
In fact, he's kind of open all hours.
That sounds awful.
Yeah.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I don't want him to change.
In fact, I think it would be kind of better if everyone was like Steve.
How can you say that'? Well, because he's not all screwed up byjealousy and guilt.
I mean, look at you and Nathan for example.
Like, you totally freaked out last night about one dinner.
And he freaked out about one tiny little kiss.
It's just Kiss? SammyI'm sorry, OK'? Look, it was completely my fault.
I was high.
He kissed you.
No! No.
It wasit was me.
It was me.
Please do not get mad at him.
He did nothing wrong.
He didn't tell me.
Well, see, this is my point exactly.
He hasn't done anything but suddenly he's guilty and you're jealous.
Sammy, how are you gonna cope when he does meet someone he's attracted to? He's not supposed to be attracted to anyone else.
You seriously think in - what - the next 5O years he's not gonna check out other women? And what about you? I don't wanna talk about this.
Yeah, because you are scared.
Because Owen still does it for you.
And even if Nathan can't tell, I can.
See, what Steve would say the really scary thing is, that Nathan's gonna be the last guy you're ever with.
Layla! No.
Think about it! Think about it, Sammy.
There's so many gorgeous people out there.
You'll never get a chance to Can we please just can we get on with this? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Is it safe to come in'? Unless you're with Nicko.
Did you, er did you hear from Dane today'? And I bet you won't.
Look, Carbo's going overboard but he knows what guys like Dane are really like, what they want.
Yes, and I wanted it too! I'm 18.
I make my own decisions.
So, why do you care if your mum finds out? Think about how you and Carbo were in Lesbos and how he's treating you now.
You're like a little sister to him.
He's just trying to protect you.
Look, I know he can be over the top.
But he's just doing it because he really cares.
Think about it.
(CLOSES DOOR) Ow.
Are you OK'? Are you comfortable'? Would you stop fussing? Well, you fainted.
Yeah, I just have to take it easy for a few days.
What caused it? She doesn't know.
But if it happens again, she'll send me for tests.
It wasnothing that we did, was it? Well, if it is, it takes two.
So don't beat yourself up.
And anyway, I asked.
She doesn't think it's that.
Alright.
You take it easyjust in case.
Do you want a cuppa tea? I'd love one.
Chrissy? Yeah.
I'll get it.
Sit down.
You deserve more than a cuppa tea.
Oh.
You are so lucky.
Yeah.
Don't I know it? In my choice of friends too.
Thanks for today.
I'd kill for someone to look at me like that.
âUnwise in love, so wise in life.
â Oh.
Rita has a way with words.
(CH UCKLES) Hey, Dave, Jules is gonna take a raincheck on that cuppa tea.
She's actually pretty knackered.
Oh, OK.
You still want one? No, thanks.
I might head home.
Chrissy, um thanks again.
Oh, what are friends for'? Oh, come on.
You're more than just a friend.
You're practically family.
Thanks.
From me, Jules and the baby.
We'll see you later.
See ya.
Drive carefully.
BEN: Life can hit you over the head with all sorts of things - most of which you have no control over.
Right! The wine's sorted - red's on the table, White's in the esky.
Pink could go either way.
Is that all the beer? Nah.
There's another 6-pack in the Charger.
Ah.
Dad just stuck his head over the fence and volunteered to cook.
I think he just wants a crack at your new barbie.
Maybe we should cancel.
What? Don't be an idiot! Mum's up and raring to go.
You can't have a barbecue without the guest of honour.
Mate, it'll be fine.
I promise.
Trust me.
I'm psychic about these things.
Nicko.
Can I help with the barbecue? Ersure.
That'd be great.
I'll just go and grab that other 6-pack.
Look, Arte.
.
.
Let me speak first.
You don't know what it's like to grow up in our village.
I can guess.
It's worse for a girl.
I thought, âlf anyone will help, Nicko will.
" I thought you'd understand.
Look, I understand guys like Dane.
Hey, sometimes I can be a guy like Dane.
There's plenty of time.
You just don't have to do it all at once.
OK.
There are good guys out there.
That's why I'm here.
To find a good man - a man I choose.
Nickolaki-poo.
(CH UCKLES) You're the only one that can get away with calling me that.
Mum! I'm helping with the barbecue.
What can I do? Those there, take them out.
Your father said, âHe can't look after himself, âlet alone a teenage girl.
" Thank you for proving me right.
Oh, my little Nicko.
All grown up.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, you're going to make a wonderful husband one day.
My big strong son.
I'm proud of you.
Now close your mouth.
It makes you look simple.
There you are.
How'd you go? Fine.
Umwhat are you doing? Oh, I'm just grabbing some more supplies for the barbecue.
So, the interview went well? Mm-hm.
Mmm.
She, um, gave me more than I needed.
Good! Good.
I think you're gonna absolutely blitz this assignment.
We should probably Why didn't you tell me she kissed you? How did you'? It just slipped out.
So tell me now.
Um She was off her head.
Sam, she kissed me.
I didn't kiss her.
And you were already hostile towards her.
It'd just be more reason to hate her.
So you were protecting her? Yeah, I guess.
Sort of.
She's kind of fragile.
You're the one that needs protecting, Nathan! Sam, nothing happened.
That's not the point! She's unstable and you need to stay away from her! Sam, I already talked to her about this.
OK'? Last night, before I saw you I cannot believe you didn't tell me about this! We promised we were gonna be open about everything.
I'm sorry.
Did she say anything else? ls there anything else? No! Sam, that's it! I'm really sorry.
Sam, I'm Are you depressed at the thought that I'm the last person you'll ever be with? What? No.
Are you? If someone was attractive and you knew I wouldn't get jealous and no-one would get hurt, would you? No.
Not even be tempted? No.
No, Sam.
Not for a second.
I love you.
Would you? No! Never.
I married you.
I don't want to be with anyone else.
That's really good to know, OK'? 'Cause that's all I want too.
My yiayia taught me this.
If it swings across, it's a boy.
If it goes in a circle, it's a girl.
Yeah, but does it work? In my family, yes.
OK.
Look.
(GAS PS) It's a girl.
(BOTH SQUEAL) A baby sister! Hang on.
I don't know how I feel about that.
Oh, darling, you'll always be the honoured first daughter.
I promise.
OK.
Here you go, Benno.
Thanks.
Hey, Ben, I don't know what you said to Arte, but thanks.
What are mates for'? No, I mean it.
Thanks.
You're not gonna kiss me, are ya'? That's a bit Greek.
Meat's up.
Listen, thank you for today.
I don't think I said it before.
Oh, please.
Now, let me get you some food, huh? Oh, thanks, Rita.
For you, Nicko.
Oh.
I could've done that.
Where's ours? Mate, you haven't got Mel well trained enough.
I heard that! (CH UCKLES) Every man for himself.
Thanks.
I've got something for you.
I was gonna show it to you later but I found this.
It's you and me.
Nicko! Yeah.
Mum had it.
Look, you're a top chick, Arte.
And you should be out there partying with nice guys.
I justjust don't want you to get hurt.
Because of her.
Yeah.
Look, I reckon we go for a drive later.
Just like on Lesbos.
Check out the city at night.
You're serious! Absolutely.
Thank you, Nickolaki-poo.
BEN: Like I said, Carbo was never very good at seeing things coming.
So, when they do come from left of field, what can a mate do? What I've always done.
The same thing he'd do for me.
You right, mate? I don't know.
Be there to see him through it.
Er, way too Greek.
Concentrate on the game, not the girls! They're just so cute!
(CH UCKLES) Our dog used to do that.
Oi, Carbo.
Carbo.
Come on.
What, is she here already? Mate, you need to chill.
She doesn't get here till tomorrow night.
(GROANS) Good.
Right.
Well, OK, off to bed.
Come on, chop chop.
It's 8:30.
Yeah, we've got the whole place to tidy.
Early start for all of us.
Why don't we just clean up now'? I'm knackered.
BEN: Me and Carbo, we've been best mates since we were four.
Sure, he's got his faults (CLATFERS) That did it.
like not watching where he's going.
Carbo never sees things coming.
BOY: (SHOUTS) Carbo.
Carbo, watch out! (WHISTLE BLOWS) Right out of left of field.
And I'm the one who's always had to be there for him You OK'? BOY: (SHOUTS) Carbo! BOTH: La, la, la, lyncha.
Thanks, Benno.
No worries.
"To pick him up and dust him off (CLATFERING) CARBO: Ouch! "Most of the time.
Karandonis takes on one, takes on two.
Oh, yeah! Wouldn't let Carbo see you doing that.
I'm just checking the What are you doing? Told you.
You're meant to be cleaning up.
I'm checking her arrival.
You should check in case the plane's late.
Oh, yeah.
I was just about to do that.
So, who is this girl, anyway'? The queen of Lesbos? She's just a nice chick.
First time off the island.
Mum will kill me if I don't treat her right.
Everything must be perfect.
So while she's here, no walking around in your undies.
We gotta hide the X-rated DVDs, the gangster rap and the mega-violent video games.
Carbo, they're all yours.
And I want them out of my sight.
So is Artemis your second or third cousin'? Not all Greeks are related.
She's my mum's best friend's daughter.
'S cousin.
Oh, so this is a set-up.
What? Matchmaking, best friends setting up their kids.
I know how that works, trust me.
No, she's like a sister.
She's just a baby.
Babies grow up.
Do you reckon she's got a moustache? Hey, that is such a dumb stereotype.
I wish it was.
Carbo, are you sure about that flight number? Yeah, why'? Well, according to this, the plane landed an hour ago.
Mum will kill me! From the other side of the world? You haven't met my mum, have you? Fair call.
Carbo's dead.
She's only a little girl, all alone in a big country.
She'll be freaking out.
She won't know what to do.
WOMAN: Nickolaki-poo! BE N: N icko what? It's a nickname.
So much for freaking out.
Five bucks on the moustache.
Arte! Nickolaki-poo! It is so good to see you.
I have missed you.
You're so big.
I mean, you're not six.
And you are not 12.
BEN: And as if grown-up Artemis wasn't enough of a shock Mum! Nicko! My baby.
Surprise! Hi, how you going'? (WOMAN GIGGLES, MOANS) (GROANS) Morning.
Morning, Grandad.
Mum and Dad are âsleeping in" again.
Mmm, why do you think I've got the radio on? (CH UCKLES) (DISTANT GROANS) I think I might join Rachel outside.
You coming? I wish.
I promised Sammy I'd make breakfast.
So grab her a banana.
Morning.
Mum around? NATHAN: Ah, they're âsleeping in".
Ah.
You don't wanna go in there.
Why'? (DAVE AND JULIE GRUNT AND MOAN) Oh! JULIE: Ben! Oh, God! (DAVE AND JULIE LAUGH) Told ya.
I'm just gonna wash my eyes out with acid.
Hmm.
Uh, but whenwhen Mum's Awake.
Yeah.
Can you just tell her everyone's invited to a barbecue tomorrow'? Carbo's mum's best friend's daughter's cousin's sister's whatever's arrived.
Rita too.
Rita.
Yeah, she just turned up.
Gave Carbo the wrong arrival time.
Wanted to surprise him.
So we have damper, vegemite and lamingtons.
What else is typically Australian? Roast lamb? Greek.
Seafood platter.
Greek.
What is it with this country? There's no original food.
Kangaroos.
Kangaroos, thanks.
1O points.
Mate, you need to chill out.
So you didn't collect them.
She gave you the wrong time.
Yeah, but we didn't clean the house.
She's up there right now, doing this and this and this.
You remember that list she left us'? She's returned to see if we stuck to it.
As if we did! Nicko! Down here, Mum.
We're having a barbecue.
You know, just us and the Rafters.
To welcome Arte.
You know, all-Australian kangaroo steaks.
With kangaroos? How was the shower, Arte'? Nice and hot? It was perfect, thank you.
Mum? Fine, fine.
I'm just glad I pulled off my little surprise.
You know why I did it, don't you? No.
Why do you think? I don't know.
You know.
Do I? Oh, silly boy.
Because I missed my baby.
When I saw Artemis packing it made me miss him even more, so I said, âTheo, why don't I surprise him?" Now, why don't I make us all some coffee? Hmm'? I'm sorry! I didn't want her to come.
She drove me crazy on the plane.
That's OK.
She's not here for long.
One day is too long.
We have to get rid of her.
How am I even supposed to have fun and meet boys with her here? BEN: Nah, he never sees it coming.
What? I'm not six anymore.
(CHUCKLES) (GROANS) Phew! (swans) You know, I've been thinking.
About poor Ben? He's gonna be traumatised for life.
Serves him right.
24 years old, hasn't learned how to knock yet.
No, I've been thinking about having the snip.
What, as in the Yeah, yeah.
Snip-snip.
Oh (SNIGGERS) Um And sooner, rather than later.
Excuse me, woman in second trimester.
I think it's a bit late for preventative measures.
Yeah, I'm just thinking ahead.
I know the chances of you getting pregnant again are slim.
I'd be up for some kind of fertility award.
I just think it's my turn to take the responsibility, you know'? Oh.
Lightning can strike twice.
Darling, that's very thoughtful of you, but let's face it - once this baby's born we won't be having sex for at least 18 years.
Sad but true.
Mmm.
And what's the rush? I haven't finished with you yet.
Mmm.
You're a shameless woman, you know that'? Shameless.
Mmm.
Sam.
Sam! Oh (CHUCKLES) It's safe to come out.
Sleep-in time is over.
Hmm, how's your assignment going'? I don't know where to start.
(READS) âExplore the impact of the current economic climate âon two professionals in contrasting fields and their responses to it.
" What's the problem? I don't wanna screw it up by interviewing the wrong people.
I'll take that.
Thanks.
What about Owen? Owen? Yeah.
Well, you must have thought of him.
(SCOFFS) I did, but you hate Owen.
I don't hate Owen and he would be perfect to talk to.
What have you done? What do you mean? Why are you being so helpful? Because you're my wife and I want you to do well.
Andyou're sure you wouldn't mind me seeing him? What, the guy you loved before you met me? The guy that's never really gotten over you? What's the problem? Stop it.
It's just the way you've handled my screw-ups lately, Sam, I'm just returning the favour.
OK'? Socall him.
Thank you so much for doing this.
Hey, my pleasure.
I'm just glad you called.
OK, so my approach to this article is going to be personal, relaxed.
I don't want it to be too dry or analytical.
(CLEARS THROAT) So, how's Nathan? He's fantastic.
Um, he just started an amazing job in the music industry, actually.
Music now, is it? I thought he was all about real estate.
Oh, well, it's all sales.
I mean, he'd be successful either way.
Mmm.
Right.
Um (CLEARS THROAT) .
.
you were away for a couple of years.
What's changed since you got back from London? Er, well, professionally, things aren't great - obviously.
Mm-hm.
Socially, I'm still single.
What are you doing? You said to make it personal.
Um, your personal take on the global recession, not your love life.
Sorry, I thought Fine.
The way I see it, we live in a culture of instant gratification.
In what sense'? Well, we all want short-term gains.
No-one looks at the bigger picture.
But there's nothing like an economic crisis to make you reassess your priorities.
And I realise that a bad choice made today comes back to bite you tomorrow.
Owen, can you please just stick to economics'? I was.
You weren't.
What? (GREEK MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR STEREO) Where is all your good music? There's some great CDs there.
Nana Mouskouri.
That was left over from Mum's last visit.
(TURNS MUSIC OFF) OK, rule 1.
I know you've got Mum conned 'Canned'? You know, tricked, fooled.
I'm not going to take the blame when she discovers you're not as innocent as she thinks.
I am innocent.
Good, keep it that way.
Oh, hey, Nick.
Oh, g'day, Mrs Rafter.
This is Arte.
Oh, hi, Arte.
Welcome to Sydney.
Are you coming tomorrow'? I wouldn't miss it.
ls your mum in'? Unfortunately.
Sorry'? She's sleeping.
Yeah, jet lag, but she was talking about going to see you later.
Oh, good.
Look forward to it.
Hi, darling.
Hi.
Nathan gave me your message.
Good, great.
I see you finally got yourself out of bed.
Ooh.
You alright, Mrs Rafter? Mum.
Yeah-no, I just feel a bit light-headed, that's all.
Like you're gonna faint? No.
Oh, no, no.
Probably Haven't had breakfast, I'm fine.
If anyone should feel faint it's me, after what I almost saw this morning.
Should I hang a sock on the doorknob next time? Oh, gross.
I'd better let you get on.
Off to the beach? Yes, Bondi.
Oh, well.
Great surf, fish and chips.
Hot lifesavers.
OK, in the car.
OK, well, enjoy.
I'll see you at the barbie.
See you, Mrs Rafter.
OK, you got everything there? Towel, sunscreen? Yes, Nicko.
Good, good.
Hang on, seatbelts on? BEN: Anyone but Carbo could see Arte was up to something.
But what she planned for the beach, that definitely came from left of field.
Do you know how lucky you are? Yes, I do.
I mean, how many guys even think about taking responsibility for birth control? Especially when there's so much on his plate.
I mean, what with his mother back in his life and the business.
I know, I know.
I'm just curious about his timing, that's all.
Julie, why don't you just accept the fact that you're married to a gorgeous, loving husband who is offering to have a vasec Anyway, so when I saw Rita this morning I practically had to do a commando roll to avoid her seeing me.
(CHUCKLES) Hidarling.
How'd the Walsh job go? (CHORTLES) Let me guess.
Oh, sorry.
It's just we're girlfriends and Girlfriends talk.
Yeah.
I'm your boss, Chrissy.
It's a bit.
.
Look at it this way, Dave - at least you don't have to make up a story about when you have it done.
(CHUCKLES) That's me done.
Better get out of here before the dragon wakes.
Dragon? Rita, the ex-girlfriend eater.
See you both.
JULIE: Bye.
Oh, what? Be proud.
Mmm.
(SNIGGERS) Traditional Aussie cuisine.
How do you like it? We do have fish and potatoes on Lesbos.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
I didn't mean I'm teasing you! When are we going swimming? Oh, no, you have to wait half an hour.
Right, Mel? That is such an old wives' tale.
What's so funny? You've changed, Nicko.
You're soresponsible.
Not naughty like before.
Naughty? Our Carbo? Surely not.
When I was six he came to stay in our village.
Everyone remembers Nicko.
What did you do? I kind of borrowed her dad's car.
We drove all over the island.
My father was so angry.
It was so much fun.
MELISSA: How old were you? About 12.
(CHUCKLES) After that I always wanted to visit Nicko here in Australia.
Come on, I reckon we stick our toes in the water.
Whoa! I said toes, yeah? Beat you down there! Put your top back on! MAN: Arte.
Dane! It is so good to finally meet you.
(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS) NATHAN: Your phone.
Not from Jake, then.
Uh-uh.
So he hasn't spoke to you in, what, a week now'? Maybe that's a good thing.
How is that a good thing, Nathan? Mother issues can turn into Norman Bates territory.
Ah, see, but Jake doesn't have mother issues.
She's got son issues.
Will you wait for the economy to improve'? I don't know.
Might take years.
I don't wanna get stuck in a rut.
I know the feeling.
Hmm.
Sammy, I'm starving.
If we're gonna keep going with this we should at least get dinner.
There's a great new place round the corner.
Yeah, look, I've got more than enough.
You've been great.
Thank you.
But I haven't given you my best insights.
Nathan will be waiting for me.
They're worth hearing, trust me.
Solid gold for your article.
BEN: Funny thing is, sometimes you know precisely what's coming at you Up to you.
My shout.
but you don't move to stop it, even when you know you should.
Yeah.
Yeah, OK.
I'll see you when you get home.
OK, bye.
Ooh, it's nice to see Sammy asks your permission before she eats.
She's out with Owen.
Right.
I'm trusting her and she's trusting me.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Ooh, that's probably Sammy again, then, just wondering if she can have dessert too.
Layla, hey.
Ah, that's a little bit of late notice.
Can we possibly make it another night? Right, OK.
Well, where and when? OK.
I'll see you then.
Bye.
Layla.
(SIGHS) Got two words to say about that woman - bad influence.
I did drugs once.
Yeah, well, two strikes and you're out, remember? Right.
Well, like I said, trust both ways.
Can we please just drop it? It's dropped.
She'll be up the duff before she even leaves the beach.
When did you get so stitched up? When Mum got out of the cab.
Arte's just having a good time.
So is Dane, I reckon.
Oi! Hands above the water! Above the water! MELISSA: Come on.
It's sort of sweet.
Like long-distance romance.
CARBO: Sweet?! She met him on Facebook.
And talking on Skype doesn't count.
It's not real.
Well, they're definitely making up for lost time.
And what is wrong with that'? She's an adult.
We're all here.
He won't violate her in front of us.
Shh.
Don't even say that out loud.
Greek mothers have sonic hearing.
Like bats.
Dane's taking me for a dig at the park.
DANE: Gig.
To a gig.
A gig at the pub.
See'? I've learnt two new words already.
I bet there's a few more he wants to teach you.
Hey, so you're in a band, mate? Yeah, that's right.
So, what kind of music do you play'? Oi! I thought you said you guys were gonna help! Why are we pretending this is normal? This is not normal.
Carbo No.
I'm not gonna lie to your parents so you can screw around, OK'? It's not gonna happen.
Come on.
You can't tell me what to do.
Mate, this is so not cool.
Yeah, neither are you.
Come.
We're going.
Grab your stuff.
Carbo No.
And get lost, mate.
Nickolaki-poo! Nickolaki-poo is dead.
You need to get some sleep.
Ben, Mel, move it.
BEN: Carbo had had it with balls to the head.
It was time to start kicking a few goals.
Arte? MEL: You looked on her Facebook? She was asleep.
Does that make it better? Mate, it's going a bit too far.
You can't spy on her.
Why not? If the Trojans looked up the wooden horse's bum, they might still be here today.
All's fair in love and war.
Oh, which is this? Oh, what do you think? Forewarned is forearmed.
The last message was sent just before we went to the beach.
That's how he knew we were there.
Mate, you're cracking up.
You can't do this.
Look, I can and I am.
I'm gonna save her from herself.
I'm starving.
Carbo I know, I know, mate.
OK'? I know you don't get it.
Ooh! Want some moussaka'? I wanna know what's going on.
But, yeah, cut me a piece.
Mate, the last time you mentioned Arte was years ago.
What's up? It's a Greek thing.
Oh, stop it with the âGreek thing It's 'Carbo' Carbo, not 'Greek' Carbo.
Have you got the hots for her? What? No! Look, mate, she's like a baby sister.
I told you, OK'? I just don't want her to get busted.
Why? Alright.
Fine.
You know that trip to Lesbos? The time I met her? It was straight after the under 12s soccer final.
You've probably forgotten that game.
Er, the only time we got in the grand final'? The one when you totally missed the shot off the free kick and cost us the championship? BOTH: Hey, Carbo! Hey! Whoo-hoo! Don't listen to the girls! Come on! We'll get it back! We'll get it back! Yeah.
That's the one.
Anyway, it felt like I'd just lost the Grand Prix.
OK'? And then, in Lesbos, I met Arte.
She followed me everywhere.
Yeah.
Nathan used to do that.
Deeply annoying.
Yeah, but it wasn't, mate.
You know'? I was her hero.
Like Achilles or Hercules.
Or even the Socceroos.
Then I stole her dad's car.
She thought I was so cool.
So, the whole big brother act Look, I can't help it.
You know'? Every time I look at her, I see this little girl.
Except now she's this giant girl that wears tight clothes, make-up and goes out with guys with tatts.
And that's why I have to look out for her.
Simple as that.
Have you boys got any washing to do? I can't sleep.
I just keep lying there, my eyes like saucers.
I have to keep busy.
Thanks, Mum.
That'd be great.
Oh! You found the moussaka.
That's it.
I'll make you some more.
Not a word, OK'? I'll handle it.
Obviously the financial crisis hasn't impacted you that badly.
I've been meaning to come here for ages.
But I had no-one to bring, so Oh, poor baby.
Desperate and dateless.
No-one I really wanted to share it with.
Whoa, hey! Sammy! Relax.
It's over between us.
I know that.
But I just have one question.
Owen Nah.
I've answered plenty of yours.
Please? Thanks.
How long after we broke up did you get together with Nathan? Don't do this.
I know you love him now but did you hook up on the rebound? No, of course not.
This is ridiculous.
Then why can't you tell me? A few months? A few weeks, Sammy? Oh.
Weeks.
You have no right to ask me this.
You left me.
Sammy, wait.
Please.
You're right.
I shouldn't have brought it up.
I'm happy you're happy.
I just I wish I'd never left.
Then I never would have met Nathan.
Exactly.
Look, let's just have a good time, eh'? As friends.
Please? Um So, what are you gonna have? LAYLA: Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
There was a massive accident on Victoria Road.
I guess our client's running late too? Um, he actuallyjust cancelled.
Yeah, I was gonna call you but I figured you'd almost be here, so Layla, you probably Look, we need to debrief anyway so why not do it on the company tab? Look, just sit down.
Debrief about what? Um, well, mainly about why you've been acting so weird all week.
I'm sorry? Look, um, Nathan, I-if something is the matter, then Ithen I think we should clear the air.
OK.
Er, I think we've been blurring the lines a little.
What? Is that a cocaine pun? Oh.
No! No.
Not deliberately.
But, yeah, it is kind of about that.
You think I'm interested in you? Mmm Nathan.
Nathan, relax, OK'? Your marriage vows are safe with me.
OK.
So, air cleared? Mm-hm.
Can we eat now'? Mmm, actually, I might just go home.
OK.
Mmm.
What's wrong'? Excuse me a sec.
Sam.
Hey! Hi.
This restaurant really must be the latest hot spot.
Hi, Sammy.
We're just, um having a client meeting.
Mmm.
Without the client.
(CH UCKLES AWK\NARDLY) You said you weren't coming home, so Yeah, and we're actually just about to eat, so why don't you invite your friend to join us'? Orwe Yeah, I'd just like a word with my husband.
Thanks.
Yep.
OK.
Yeah.
Sammy, before you say anything, the client did cancel.
Why didn't Layla cancel? Because it was too late and we had issues to sort.
Work issues.
And she had to do it at an expensive restaurant with mood lighting? Like your interview with Owen? Can we please just talk about this later? I don't trust her.
Hey, guys, is everything OK'? Yeah.
Yes.
Actually Everything3 fine.
Good.
I talked to the waiter.
He's got us a table for four.
I thought it'd be kind of weird otherwise.
And your friend (WHISPERS) .
.
he's very cute.
I'll be there in a minute.
I've gotta go to the bathroom.
I'll go talk to her.
It'll be fine.
No.
Layla.
Layla! (DOOR OPENS) (SIGHS) Look, Sammy, I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding.
What would that be'? Well, you think something's going on between Nathan and me.
No, actually.
I don't.
But I think you're trying it on with him.
Because we're having a meeting in a restaurant? No.
Because you're lonely and angry that your boyfriend's cheating on you so you're using Nathan to make yourself feel better.
So much for confidentiality.
Well, he had to give me some reason for getting home at 3:00am so often.
Or was that just the coke that you've been supplying him? Sammy! That was once, OK'? Andand as for Steve you know, maybe you're right.
Steve and I have an open relationship, OK'? And it works well most of the time.
But lately, not so much.
And the only person that lonely, angry Layla has to turn to who's even remotely interested in listening to her is Nathan.
Well Right.
And I'm sorry if it has been difficult for you.
But it really wasn't my intention, OK'? I'm sorry.
I just No, don't be.
You know, if some strange woman was taking up all of my partner's time I'd be pretty suspicious too.
In fact, that's exactly my problem with Steve.
Now, um, the way I see it is that we have two choices.
You can either slap my face and we can go for it in a full-on scrag fight or else we can let it go and head back out there and be fabulous.
They'd both be pretty fun but I think the second one's a bit more dignified, don't you? BEN: Nathan had expected a catfight.
A truce was definitely out of left field.
So, you're sure you don't mind? What? Mind talking about myself? Sammy, you clearly do not know me yet.
Just call me tomorrow and we'll set up a time.
OK.
And that's my assignment research done in two days.
Cool.
We make quite the information double act, I think.
I'd better head.
Talk to you soon.
Yeah.
Let me know how the article goes.
What are your plans for the rest of the night? Home.
Shower.
Sleep.
Nightclub? Nice to meet you, Layla.
'Night, Sammy.
Goodbye.
OWEN: Nathan.
NATHAN: See ya.
LAYLAI Oh, well.
Next Oh-ho! No.
I think it's probably time we got you to a cab.
Oh, that time already? Come on, guys.
Oh! My jacket! Hold on.
Layla, about that meeting tomorrow, I never told Sammy about that kiss so can you please - just in case - don't mention it? What kiss? That night that we were out of it.
I was leaving and you kissed me.
You No'? No.
You don't remember it, do you? No, I don't.
I'm sorry.
No wonder you thought I was coming on to you.
But, Nath, in the future, just ignore everything I do when I'm under the influence.
OK.
You won't tell her.
Right? No.
My lips are sealed.
Er, unlike that night, apparently.
Anyway, say bye to Sammy for me.
I'm gonna go and get my own cab.
OK.
Bye! Justbe careful.
BEN: It never occurred to Nathan that if someone can forget a kiss when they're on drugs, they can also forget a promise when they're drunk.
You go out there, I'll tell Mum the whole deal.
You scared me! I don't wanna but I will.
Then she'll take you straight back home.
What are you doing here? âPick you up at midnight and we can ride all night.
" You've been on my computer?! Shh! You'll wake up Mum.
What are you? A prison guard? Look, you don't know this guy from a rear spoiler.
I wanted to make sure you're safe.
(SPEAKS GREEK) Maybe I should be your father.
Go to bed! I'm going out! No, you're not.
I'm not a child.
You're not going anywhere.
Watch me.
Mum! (GAS PS) Don't you dare! Hey, Mum! Shhh! Your choice.
Bed or Mum.
Alright.
I'm going to bed.
Look, you can go on dates.
Fine.
But you do it the right way.
Open, honestly, in front of everyone.
But not Mum.
I hate you.
If you're here to see Arte, you're wasting your time, mate.
Now, if you're legit, maybe we'll see you again.
But if this is just some kind of easy internet pick-up, I guess we won't.
Either way, you'll be dealing with me.
Got it? Now get lost.
And make it quiet.
(ENGINE ROARS) (DOG BARKS) Hey.
Nice job, mate.
Reckon he'll come back? Nah.
He's gone.
Where's Arte'? Don't worry.
She's in her room.
I just checked.
Thanks, mate.
Any sign of Mum? Nah.
She must have crashed.
This is doing my head in.
Why won't she listen to me? She's 18.
But that doesn't mean she can't see I'm just looking out for her.
Yeah.
She will.
I hope so.
I'm not sure how much more I can take.
'Night, mate.
'Night, Benno.
(CLOSES DOOR) BEN: Rita was playing a surprise game of her own.
And this time, it wasn't Carbo who'd be hit from left of field.
Arte's a little minx.
From a good family but has her parents completely fooled.
But not me or my Nicko.
Just as I thought.
So that's why you're here? To make sure that Carbo can chaperone a teenage girl'? Hi.
Sorry.
Parking Oh.
Hi! Look who I, er, ran into.
Ah, Chrissy.
There are things that need saying.
And there are things that were said.
Hug a grateful mother.
A boy like Nick does not give up unless guided by a wiser mind.
Older but wiser.
Nick got cold feet about the engagement just as much as I did.
But other women, women like you, are called 'cougars' for a reason.
They have claws that cling tight.
But you let Nick go.
And for that, I will always, always be grateful.
Oh, Rita, gosh, that'sthat is so generous.
We were just talking about Arte.
What about her? You think I'd come here if I didn't have plans for the two of them? The two of them? Arte and Carbo? As a couple? Of course! I thought arranged marriages had gone out of fashion.
Oh, it's not arranged.
It's just.
.
.
encouraged.
Um, does Carbo know'? Of course not.
But he'll see sense.
I mean, they're perfect for each other.
Both Greek, family connections, similar interests, similar age.
But enough about my children.
Jules, are you alright? Yeah.
I think I need to sit down.
Are you OK'? (RITA SCREAMS) OK.
OK, here she comes.
Hey.
Are you back with us'? Don't rush.
God! There's no rush.
What happened? You fainted.
Easy does it.
Ooh! Has this happened before'? Umno.
I mean, I was feeling a bit light-headed yesterday but I just put it down to Dave and I overdoing it.
You were unconscious.
Come on, now.
Let's get you home to bed.
No, no, no.
The only place you're going is to see your doctor.
I don't want you going home until you've been checked out.
Unwise in love, so wise in life.
Oh.
Thank you.
I think.
(LAUGHS) Look, I can't promise I'll make much sense.
I'm feeling pretty fragile.
Hungover? Yeah.
That and, um, Steve called this morning.
So, needless to say, there were fireworks.
Oh.
Sorry.
Oh, God, no.
Don't be.
I'll get over it.
I always do.
(CHUCKLES) I take it he does this a lot? Mmm.
Yeah, well, like I said, we're in sort of an open relationship.
Only occasionally I get jealous.
I guess he's just a bit more open than me.
In fact, he's kind of open all hours.
That sounds awful.
Yeah.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I don't want him to change.
In fact, I think it would be kind of better if everyone was like Steve.
How can you say that'? Well, because he's not all screwed up byjealousy and guilt.
I mean, look at you and Nathan for example.
Like, you totally freaked out last night about one dinner.
And he freaked out about one tiny little kiss.
It's just Kiss? SammyI'm sorry, OK'? Look, it was completely my fault.
I was high.
He kissed you.
No! No.
It wasit was me.
It was me.
Please do not get mad at him.
He did nothing wrong.
He didn't tell me.
Well, see, this is my point exactly.
He hasn't done anything but suddenly he's guilty and you're jealous.
Sammy, how are you gonna cope when he does meet someone he's attracted to? He's not supposed to be attracted to anyone else.
You seriously think in - what - the next 5O years he's not gonna check out other women? And what about you? I don't wanna talk about this.
Yeah, because you are scared.
Because Owen still does it for you.
And even if Nathan can't tell, I can.
See, what Steve would say the really scary thing is, that Nathan's gonna be the last guy you're ever with.
Layla! No.
Think about it! Think about it, Sammy.
There's so many gorgeous people out there.
You'll never get a chance to Can we please just can we get on with this? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Is it safe to come in'? Unless you're with Nicko.
Did you, er did you hear from Dane today'? And I bet you won't.
Look, Carbo's going overboard but he knows what guys like Dane are really like, what they want.
Yes, and I wanted it too! I'm 18.
I make my own decisions.
So, why do you care if your mum finds out? Think about how you and Carbo were in Lesbos and how he's treating you now.
You're like a little sister to him.
He's just trying to protect you.
Look, I know he can be over the top.
But he's just doing it because he really cares.
Think about it.
(CLOSES DOOR) Ow.
Are you OK'? Are you comfortable'? Would you stop fussing? Well, you fainted.
Yeah, I just have to take it easy for a few days.
What caused it? She doesn't know.
But if it happens again, she'll send me for tests.
It wasnothing that we did, was it? Well, if it is, it takes two.
So don't beat yourself up.
And anyway, I asked.
She doesn't think it's that.
Alright.
You take it easyjust in case.
Do you want a cuppa tea? I'd love one.
Chrissy? Yeah.
I'll get it.
Sit down.
You deserve more than a cuppa tea.
Oh.
You are so lucky.
Yeah.
Don't I know it? In my choice of friends too.
Thanks for today.
I'd kill for someone to look at me like that.
âUnwise in love, so wise in life.
â Oh.
Rita has a way with words.
(CH UCKLES) Hey, Dave, Jules is gonna take a raincheck on that cuppa tea.
She's actually pretty knackered.
Oh, OK.
You still want one? No, thanks.
I might head home.
Chrissy, um thanks again.
Oh, what are friends for'? Oh, come on.
You're more than just a friend.
You're practically family.
Thanks.
From me, Jules and the baby.
We'll see you later.
See ya.
Drive carefully.
BEN: Life can hit you over the head with all sorts of things - most of which you have no control over.
Right! The wine's sorted - red's on the table, White's in the esky.
Pink could go either way.
Is that all the beer? Nah.
There's another 6-pack in the Charger.
Ah.
Dad just stuck his head over the fence and volunteered to cook.
I think he just wants a crack at your new barbie.
Maybe we should cancel.
What? Don't be an idiot! Mum's up and raring to go.
You can't have a barbecue without the guest of honour.
Mate, it'll be fine.
I promise.
Trust me.
I'm psychic about these things.
Nicko.
Can I help with the barbecue? Ersure.
That'd be great.
I'll just go and grab that other 6-pack.
Look, Arte.
.
.
Let me speak first.
You don't know what it's like to grow up in our village.
I can guess.
It's worse for a girl.
I thought, âlf anyone will help, Nicko will.
" I thought you'd understand.
Look, I understand guys like Dane.
Hey, sometimes I can be a guy like Dane.
There's plenty of time.
You just don't have to do it all at once.
OK.
There are good guys out there.
That's why I'm here.
To find a good man - a man I choose.
Nickolaki-poo.
(CH UCKLES) You're the only one that can get away with calling me that.
Mum! I'm helping with the barbecue.
What can I do? Those there, take them out.
Your father said, âHe can't look after himself, âlet alone a teenage girl.
" Thank you for proving me right.
Oh, my little Nicko.
All grown up.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, you're going to make a wonderful husband one day.
My big strong son.
I'm proud of you.
Now close your mouth.
It makes you look simple.
There you are.
How'd you go? Fine.
Umwhat are you doing? Oh, I'm just grabbing some more supplies for the barbecue.
So, the interview went well? Mm-hm.
Mmm.
She, um, gave me more than I needed.
Good! Good.
I think you're gonna absolutely blitz this assignment.
We should probably Why didn't you tell me she kissed you? How did you'? It just slipped out.
So tell me now.
Um She was off her head.
Sam, she kissed me.
I didn't kiss her.
And you were already hostile towards her.
It'd just be more reason to hate her.
So you were protecting her? Yeah, I guess.
Sort of.
She's kind of fragile.
You're the one that needs protecting, Nathan! Sam, nothing happened.
That's not the point! She's unstable and you need to stay away from her! Sam, I already talked to her about this.
OK'? Last night, before I saw you I cannot believe you didn't tell me about this! We promised we were gonna be open about everything.
I'm sorry.
Did she say anything else? ls there anything else? No! Sam, that's it! I'm really sorry.
Sam, I'm Are you depressed at the thought that I'm the last person you'll ever be with? What? No.
Are you? If someone was attractive and you knew I wouldn't get jealous and no-one would get hurt, would you? No.
Not even be tempted? No.
No, Sam.
Not for a second.
I love you.
Would you? No! Never.
I married you.
I don't want to be with anyone else.
That's really good to know, OK'? 'Cause that's all I want too.
My yiayia taught me this.
If it swings across, it's a boy.
If it goes in a circle, it's a girl.
Yeah, but does it work? In my family, yes.
OK.
Look.
(GAS PS) It's a girl.
(BOTH SQUEAL) A baby sister! Hang on.
I don't know how I feel about that.
Oh, darling, you'll always be the honoured first daughter.
I promise.
OK.
Here you go, Benno.
Thanks.
Hey, Ben, I don't know what you said to Arte, but thanks.
What are mates for'? No, I mean it.
Thanks.
You're not gonna kiss me, are ya'? That's a bit Greek.
Meat's up.
Listen, thank you for today.
I don't think I said it before.
Oh, please.
Now, let me get you some food, huh? Oh, thanks, Rita.
For you, Nicko.
Oh.
I could've done that.
Where's ours? Mate, you haven't got Mel well trained enough.
I heard that! (CH UCKLES) Every man for himself.
Thanks.
I've got something for you.
I was gonna show it to you later but I found this.
It's you and me.
Nicko! Yeah.
Mum had it.
Look, you're a top chick, Arte.
And you should be out there partying with nice guys.
I justjust don't want you to get hurt.
Because of her.
Yeah.
Look, I reckon we go for a drive later.
Just like on Lesbos.
Check out the city at night.
You're serious! Absolutely.
Thank you, Nickolaki-poo.
BEN: Like I said, Carbo was never very good at seeing things coming.
So, when they do come from left of field, what can a mate do? What I've always done.
The same thing he'd do for me.
You right, mate? I don't know.
Be there to see him through it.
Er, way too Greek.
Concentrate on the game, not the girls! They're just so cute!