Phineas and Ferb s02e12 Episode Script

The Chronicles of Meap.
Starring Lorenzo Lamas as Meap.
Episode 38, "More Than Meaps the Eye".
It's the bottom of the ninth inning.
Bases are loaded.
It all comes down to this final pitch from Ferb the curve Fletcher.
And the wind up.
And it's a stri-yiii– yiii– yike! And the crowd goes wild! Yeah, it looked way outside, but then it was right in the zone.
There's a lesson, baseball fans.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Boring, dull, stupid, lame, heavy-handed and derivative.
Oh, thank you for those insightful reviews of books you haven't read.
Mom, that's why books have covers.
To judge them.
I mean, why did you choose these books from the library? They looked interesting.
So? Point taken.
Okay honey, I'm off to help Dad at the antique store.
Oh, hey, here's a package for you.
My Bango-Ru! Your what? My Bango-Ru.
They're these adorable Japanese characters that are so in right now.
Like in a kitschy way.
The lead guitarist for The Bettys has one painted on her guitar.
Stacy and I designed our own dolls online.
Well, assuming none of that is teenage code for something I should be worried about as a parent, I'm off.
Bye Mom.
I got to call Stacy! Bango-Ru! Bango-Ru! I just got my little bunny-bear! It's a cross between a bunny and a bear! You get it? It's the most precious thing.
I just got mine too.
He's a cross between a cow and a frog.
I'm calling him "Señor Frowg".
He's gonna be the cutest thing, you're just going to– Candace? What's going on? I just discovered why cows and frogs don't date.
Well, we'll still have fun at the Bango-Ru convention today.
Yeah, I guess.
Okay, Ferb.
Let's see what this bad boy can do.
Go long! Pop fly! Cool! Oh, here it comes! Um Hey, Ferb.
I know what we're going to do today.
Run for our lives! Whoa.
I think we may have just stopped and/or started an alien invasion.
I hope he's not too angry.
Or hungry.
Meap! Wow.
That is cute.
Hey, are you okay? We're really sorry about your ship.
Meap! What's your name? Meap! Hi, Meap! I'm Phineas and this is Ferb.
Meap! What'cha got there? Hey, this must be his father.
Don't worry, Meap.
We'll fix your ship, and you'll be with your dad in no time.
Hey Ferb, I know what we're going to do today.
Let's get ourselves totally busted by crashing our stupid toy in the backyard.
Oh, hi, Candace.
It isn't a toy.
It's a real live alien spaceship! Oh, good! Because this isn't a cell phone.
It's an inter-galactic little brother buster-izer.
Which I'll use on you if you don't clean up this mess.
What's with the spaceship anyway? Haven't you guys, you know, been there, done that? We weren't planning on going into space.
But if we did, I'm sure there's still a ton of cool stuff left to do.
Yeah, well I'm all done with outer space.
Never again! I'll stick with Earth, where I'm the one in charge of busting people who do stuff they're not supposed to do.
Huh? Oh, that is the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life! You guys made a Bango-Ru doll? That's Meap.
Meap! He talks? Well, more than Ferb, but "meap" is pretty much the only thing he says.
Well you and your little Bango-robot better not show up at the convention and make me look bad.
That's strike one.
Okay.
Let's fix us an alien spaceship.
Meap! Where do you want to start? Hey Ferb, have you seen Perry? Meap! Meap! Meap! Good morning, Agent P.
I wonder what exciting mission we have for you today.
Excuse me, my nose is really itchy.
Doofenshmirtz has purchased a lot of carpet.
He must be up to something bad.
Because he's a bad, bad man.
He's this bad.
I can't do this.
Carl was doing my arms.
See? Oh, too funny.
Anyway, stop Doofenshmirtz with the carpet thing.
It seems to run on a quantum front loading system.
Can the new frame support that? Hang on, I'll bring you down.
Hi, guys! What'cha doin'? Oh, hi, Isabella.
Come over here and we'll show you.
Oh, oops.
Sorry Ferb.
We're fixing up this spaceship that belongs to our new friend, Meap.
Meap.
He's the most adorable thing in the world.
Really? Are you sure there's nothing, or no one that's more adorable? No.
Not a chance.
Here, see for yourself.
Meap? Meap? Bango-Ru! Bango-Ru.
Oh, Candace! Look at it! It's so cute, I could die! What? Oh, no Meap! And it makes little noises.
How did you do that? Oh.
Well Phineas and Ferb, you know? Oh, they tricked it out for you, cool.
Come on, lets go to the convention.
Right behind you.
Hmm.
Your reign of terror has come to an end, Señor Frowg.
Okay.
I jury-rigged Ferb's old GPS device, to create a cute-tracker.
It locks on to the cutest thing in the area, so it should lead us right to Meap.
Let's see if we can get a signal.
Got something! Oh, that's probably me.
Sorry.
No.
It's three miles in that direction.
Ferb, why don't you stay and finish the ship? Isabella, want to come and help me find Meap? Sure.
I still have to get my "You Wouldn't Know Cute If It Bit Your Legs Off" accomplishment patch.
Cool! Let's go.
Doofenshmirtz Evil is carpeted! Ah, Perry the Platypus.
Just in time for your little lesson in static electricity! Looks like I rubbed you the wrong way, Puffy the Fuzzypus.
You might ask, "Why the carpet?" "What is he doing?" "What is going on?" "Why is he listing questions I might ask him?" Well, I believe the answers are best expressed in back story form.
When I was a boy, the smell of pork emanating from me was so bad because of– Well– Well, the reason's unimportant, it was part of a– different emotionally scaring back story.
I'm not getting into– Regardless, the smell of pork was so bad, that no one would come near me.
So, one day, the carnival came to town and I needed money because of– Well, yet another back story that– Basically my parents disowned me, I was being raised by ocelots.
The point is, I had to get a job at the carnival, but– The only work was at the dunking booth, and– Not as the guy who got dunked though, I-I was what they threw to dunk him, whi-which is again a whole other back story– Okay, look at– Long back story short, I got a balloon at the carnival, I drew a face on him, I sprayed him with special "Life Long-lasting" spray I created, and I named him, Balloony.
He became my best friend in the whole world, yadda yadda yadda.
Then one tragic day, when I was protecting our garden as-as a lawn gnome– What-Whatever, you remember that back story.
Balloony started floating away.
I tried to reach out and grab him, but (Don't move!) And I never saw Balloony again.
He's still out there, somewhere.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but I put that "Long-lasting" spray on him.
So, he's still around.
And I plan to bring him to me! Balloons, you see, are drawn to static electricity, so I created this.
Behold! The Static Electro Amplif-inator! Keep-keep beholding, keep beholding, beholding, and we're still beholding And scene.
La-la-la-la-la-laa-la-la-la Hmm.
I keep getting some kind of cute interference.
It's me! I'm endangering the mission! I shouldn't have come.
No.
Now it's cleared up.
I wonder how Ferb's doing.
(Song: Quirky Worky Song) Warp-Drive signature detected.
I have you now.
(Song: My Ride From Outer Space) When I light my afterburners, I'm a bullet whizzing by I'm zero-to-60 light-years in the blink of an alien eye I'm in a shaking, baking, staking, smoking, light speed vertical climb If I was going any faster I'd be going back in time Leaving nothing but a vapor trace In my ride from outer space Yeah We must never speak of this again.
Agreed.
I can bang shift through a nebula and slingshot around the sun Don't look no further baby, 'cause you know I'm number one! I'm chopped and flamed and bobbed and filled, you got to trick it out When I burn through your dimension, you'll know what it's all about I can tell, girl, from that look there on your face You're digging my ride from outer space.
You know you're digging it, baby My ride from outer space My ride from outer space (Song: Bango-Ru) Make a new friend, it's Bango-Ru Cuddly little bug-eyed, Bango-Ru Fine, battery-powered, Bango-Ru I love you, I love you, I love you Bango-Ru This is so weird.
It's like a strange alien world.
Ooh! Bango-Ru purses! No way! Let me see! Let me see! Look, how cute! I think I saw this one on the red carpet the other night.
What? Hey! I got it.
Irresponsible kids.
I'm totally gonna have to get some Bango-shoes to go with this! Hey! Is this your doll, young lady? Yeah.
We found it abandoned on the floor over there.
Oh, sorry.
Your irresponsibility makes our job as security guards a million times harder! Someone could have stolen it.
Or tripped over it.
That's right.
Injuries, lawsuits, stolen property.
Even death! Yes, you could have killed me.
Me too! We're lucky to be alive.
Yeah, you're in big trouble.
The cute signal's getting stronger.
Phineas? Yes? How come you think Meap is so cute? What does that even mean anyway? Cute.
I can't define cute.
I just know it when I pick it up on my cuteness meter.
Although, I keep getting this weird cute interference from somewhere.
Hmm.
Whoa, sweet! You tricked it out! Isabella and I are hot on Meap's trail.
Let's bounce.
You can't ban me from Bango-Ru conventions for life.
I ban myself! And what kind of a toy are you anyway? It isn't a toy.
It's a real live alien spaceship.
That's it! You're not a toy! You're a real live alien.
Hey Candace, you found Meap.
More like he found me.
Well, his ship's fixed, so he can get back to his family now.
What's happening? We're caught in some kind of tractor beam! It's pulling us in! Maybe it's the space authorities.
Did we do something wrong? Well, it occurs to me that perhaps not all of the modifications I made are technically "street legal".
What's going on? Wait! Come back! Who was that? That was your father? Meap! But why Oh, it's not your father? It's a mug shot? Oh, no! Phineas and Ferb have been abducted by an intergalactic criminal! Meap.
Where's he taking us? Look! He's headed for that small cloud! That's no cloud.
That's a space station.
I've got a good feeling about this! Ha! You thought you were clever disguising your ship.
But I've got you now, whoever you are.
Hey, look! It's Meap's dad.
All right, what the heck is going on? Is this some kind of joke? I'm Phineas, that's Isabella, and this is Ferb.
What's your name? I am known by many names throughout the universe.
Well, two mainly.
Mitch, and uh Some of the guys call me Big Mitch.
Anyway, where did you get this ship? It's Meap's ship.
Meap? Yep.
A-About "yay" high, big eyes The biggest! Kinda looks like this? That's Meap? That's Meap! That's my mortal enemy.
Really? He seems like such a nice guy.
He is.
I'm not.
You see, I steal rare creatures from their home worlds, and imprison them here on my ship.
I'm a You're a zookeeper? No, that sort of legitimizes it.
Um You're a poacher! Yes! I'm a poacher.
That's wrong! These poor creatures shouldn't be locked up here.
Yeah.
They should be brought back to their homes and set free.
Oh, really? Maybe I should lock you three up in here as well.
Nah, that's cool.
Tonight's taco night at home.
Hi, Mom.
Phineas and Ferb have been abducted by an evil alien, and I'm here with another alien, who isn't his son, and How does that sound so far? I agree.
Craaazey! What are we gonna do? Play catch? Hmm.
Well, if you think it will help.
Phineas and Ferb.
Your father.
No.
Right, not your father.
A bad guy.
Say Where do you keep all these pictures? Meap! Right, stay focus.
They're in a giant spaceship.
But how are we supposed to get up there and save them? Oh, I get it! Duh.
You're trying to tell me something.
What? So– So you know when you walk around in socks and rub them on the carpet, you get that little static shock? Behold, the new uniform of pure evil! I call it the socky-shocky-suity.
Oh, cool! Would you three sit still? You don't get it.
You're my prisoners.
You should be afraid of me! Ah, like a moth to the flame.
Whoa.
I got this situation, totally under control.
You kids might be of some use to me aft– Hey, d– Don't go in there.
You'll track dirt back into the corridor.
Ugh! I'll deal with them later.
Wow, check this place out.
Well, now I know how to find Phineas and Ferb.
They'll be where the cool stuff is.
Woo-hoo! Ka-ching! Okay.
I'll go in and get them.
You stay here.
This could get dangerous.
Wow.
Cool! So, we meet again.
Meap! I agree.
It ends here.
Oh, and by the way I talked to your little friends, and just so we're clear, I am not your father.
Okay, I'm almost done charging up to shocky-socky-suity suit.
You know, it's the technical side of evil that I think people don't really appreciate.
There! Now watch, as every balloon in the entire Tri-State area is ripped from the hands of children, and clowns, and clown-children.
Wow.
That's a lot of balloons.
You know on paper, ugh This was the outcome too.
Meap! Oh, yeah? Oh, man, what the– Oh.
Hello.
We're right in the middle of a showdown, if you don't mind.
Oh, uh Oh, oh.
I get it, nemesis confrontation, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, it looks serious.
Uh, one of those "it ends here" kind of things.
Whoo-ee.
Not fun.
O-Okay, well– Well, don't mind me, I'm just playing through as they say.
You're doing fine, just– Just ignore me.
I-I'll show myself out.
No! That's where I keep– It's you.
Balloony.
Hey! That's the most unique creature in my collection.
Colin.
M-My best friend.
What? That's Balloony, my best friend.
No, I-I found Colin just floating all alone in space.
Well, I actually drew his face! Look.
Look, I signed it.
That's a birthmark.
A birthmark! It's a balloon you idiot! "Colin".
Come on Balloony, let's scoot.
Ba– Balloony? Ha! See? Colin is my best friend.
You've changed, Balloony.
And I though you were actually back-story worthy.
It makes me sick! Well, I don't even need you anymore.
Yeah! I-I've got an even better best friend.
He's a really good listener, he even put up with me going on about how great you were! Ha! It's clear to me now that my real best friend is Perry the Plat– Oof! Uh Hello? Falling to my doom here! All too easy.
That was awesome.
I knew there was still more cool stuff to do in space.
Uh-oh.
What are they? I don't know.
Hi.
Okay? Strike three.
They're out.
Cool! What ever happened to strike two? Uh Where's Meap? I told him to wait right here.
Hmm.
I'm having trouble picking up his cute signal.
Phineas, since you obviously won't figure this out on your own, I think I'm the one causing the cute interference.
Don't be silly, Isabella.
I took into account your cuteness, and adjusted the cute-meter settings accordingly from the beginning.
See, look what happens if I change it back to normal.
Oops.
So much for finding Meap.
Do you think he's okay? No.
No, I don't.
Hi, Mitch.
Meap! Get away from him, Mitch! Foolish children.
Only now you understand your grave situation.
"Hi, Mitch!" "Look at the cool stuff, Mitch!" "Blah, blah, blah, Mitch!" Ha.
He totally nailed you, Ferb.
Silence.
I mean, seriously.
Seriously! You're still not getting this.
You're all trapped, on my ship, forever! Like animals in a cage.
Get it? You lost! I won! Go, hide.
Huh? Whoa.
I I don't believe it.
Oh, oh! Okay, okay I surrender, you– You can stop behaving in a way counter intuitive to how you superficially appear.
We get it.
Hey! Stay away from my universal mustache translator.
Ow! MEAP! Meap! Children, thank you for your help in bringing down this villainous scoundrel.
You see, I am an intergalactic security agent who roams the universe, busting people who do stuff they're not supposed to do.
You're like the me of the galaxy.
Exactly.
I am pleased to have not only made some true friends, but to have met a kindred spirit as well.
I thought Meap was a helpless little creature.
Huh.
I guess I learned to never judge a book by its cover again.
An alien monster! Get to the ship! Um Actually, that's my mother-in-law, so Yeah, she's correct.
Let's get out of here! Aren't you a little young to save the universe? Yes.
Yes, I am.
I want your hat on my desk! Balloony! Colin! What? Jeremy's going to be there? The Chronicles of Meap, Episode 40.
Meap.
Meapless in Seattle.
In a world.
There.
I said it.
Happy?