Preacher (2016) s02e12 Episode Script
On Your Knees
1 Previously on AMC's "Preacher" There is a back door.
JESSE: It was a test.
He knew I was coming.
Did you know God was Man-dog? I've learned a lot about you over the past few days.
You're the right man for the job, and the job is right for you.
Time to go.
I will be with you every step of the way.
[RUSTLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Ohh.
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[WHIRRING.]
You can if you resist, Eugene.
Show the machine you don't belong here, and the secret door will open! [EXHALES DEEP.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Resist.
Eugene.
Nein.
What the heck? Ew.
- No! - [GUNSHOT.]
[STATIC.]
That's right.
Resist the pattern, Eugene.
You can kiss me if you want to.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
HITLER: Don't do it, Eugene.
I'm good.
[CHUCKLES.]
You don't want [CHUCKLES.]
to? You, Eugene Root, you're too good for me? Ugh.
No.
No, I didn't mean that.
- No! W-Wait! - [GUNSHOT.]
[THUD.]
[STATIC.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Kiss me.
Please.
I'm begging you.
Don't know what I'm supposed to do.
If I kiss you, you kill yourself.
If I don't kiss you you kill yourself.
We're friends, Tracy.
I just want you to be okay.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
We're friends.
That's all I wanted to hear.
Thank you.
That should open the secret.
[GRUNTS.]
TRACY: You still like me, though, right? [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Like, like me like me? Yes, of course.
Nein.
Verflucht verfuhrerin! I can tell.
Show me.
- Tracy.
- Come on, Eugene.
You said we're friends.
Show me.
[SIGHS.]
[ZIPPER UNZIPS.]
Ew.
- That was, like, ugh.
- [ZIPPER ZIPS.]
Feel like my eyes are gonna barf.
[SIGHS.]
Do you like my hair like this? You know what, Tracy? You're mean.
What? Yeah, you're mean and conceited, and you use people.
You are not a nice person.
No, you're not a nice person! God, I cannot believe you'd say this to me right now.
I'm gonna kill myself, and it's going to be your fault.
No.
It won't.
Tracy, if you're so shallow that you need to commit suicide to get people's attention, go ahead.
But it'll be your fault, not mine.
[SIGHS.]
Wunderbar! Let's get out of here.
[GRUNTS.]
- [GUNSHOT.]
- [GROANS.]
- Damn it! What else? - [TOILET FLUSHES.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Who ze hell is that? Troop Leader Pedro? Haven't thought about you in years.
Remember when we went on that camping trip? We went into the woods to collect firewood, and I told you "never touch me again"? I meant it.
- [GUNSHOT.]
- Aah! [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Ja.
Good boy.
That should do it.
[GRUNTS.]
I don't understand.
Who else is there? - Unless - [DOOR RATTLES.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
- Dad? - [SIGHING.]
Aw, scheisse.
I'm so sorry.
What can I do? How can I fix it? But No.
I'm just a kid.
Yeah, I got scared, and I messed up, but I'm still just a kid.
I'm sorry that you're sad, but I'm not gonna shoot myself, and I'm not gonna apologize for being your son.
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYS.]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
[SIGHS.]
I love you, too, Dad.
Yes! [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS.]
[WHIRRING.]
[WHIRRING STOPS.]
JESSE: [ECHOING.]
Get on your knees.
[GRUNTS.]
- [GUN COCKS.]
- Drop it.
Disarm.
The gun.
Saber.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Let's go for arive.
[ENGINE REVS, WATER SPLASHES.]
Preacher!! [BUBBLING.]
A cop-killing, child-murderin' sonofuhbitch tryin' to make his way through the pearly gates? You really think there's a place for you in Heaven up there with your wife and child, livin' in peace for all eternity? No.
I'll tell you where you belong.
[POUNDING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[POUNDING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE.]
[POUNDING, GRUNTING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[SCREAMS.]
[GLASS RATTLING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
You've ignored your soul for too long.
No more killing.
No more drinking.
Your soul is where your goodness lies, the goodness I know is there.
Then we'll be together in Heaven for all eternity.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
[SIGHS.]
Preacher.
Welcome, my son.
Get on your knees.
"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
" "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due" "doing good, for in due season, we will weep, if we do not give up.
" Amen.
[BIRDS SINGING.]
Mommy, do I have to eat beets? Yes, my angel.
Beets help us grow.
Can't I eat something else to help me grow? Like what? Apple pie? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Here.
This will help.
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
How's your milk? It's good.
Daddy doesn't mean it.
You callin' me a fibber? Uh-huh.
Here.
No.
No one puts salt in their m Hold on.
Let's see.
Even better.
[GIGGLES.]
[POUNDING, SCREAMING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CHOIR VOCALIZING EERILY.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[TRUCK RATTLES.]
[BRAKES SQUEAL.]
[ENGINE TURNS OFF.]
[AIR HISSES.]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING.]
[WHIRRING STOPS.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[SNIFFS.]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS.]
[INTERCOM CLICKS.]
Uh hello in there.
Uh, sorry about that traffic.
I shouldn't have taken the interstate, but, anyway How are you? My name is, uh, FJ Hoover, 2nd Lieutenant of the Grail Organization.
I want to welcome you to our, uh, custody.
We know what you want.
As you know, Heaven's probably not gonna happen, but we can give you the next best thing.
All you have to do is work with us, so think about it.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
WOMAN: Stay the horse.
Keep to your affairs.
Come back to us.
[ECHOING.]
Your soul is where your goodness lies.
Hey, mister! Hey! We're headed to Ratwater! Your soul is where your goodness lies the goodness I know is there.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[HEART BEATING.]
Hey, mister.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
- No.
- [GUNSHOT.]
No more killing.
No more drinking.
No more killing.
No more drinking.
No more killing.
No more drinking.
No more killing.
No more drinking.
And we'll be together in Heaven for all eternity.
[CROWS SCREECHING.]
[POUNDING.]
[POUNDING CONTINUES.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You've gotten weaker.
You know you have.
You really should consider our offer.
We just want to make you strong again.
It is a win-win situation.
After all what more do you have to lose? [RAPID BEEPING.]
Okay, good.
I'm glad we could reach this understanding.
Now just do what you do.
[LOCK DISENGAGES.]
[PANTING.]
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYS.]
[GROWLING.]
[HONKY-TONK MUSIC PLAYS, INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
Made up your mind? Whiskey.
[MUFFLED SINGING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Where you from? - Texas.
- Heard of it.
And what brings you to New Orleans? I'm here to kill a man.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
CASSIDY: What yeh doing in me room, son? [ROBOTIC VOICE REPEATS QUESTION IN FRENCH.]
Get out.
Sortez.
[DOOR CREAKS.]
[WHINES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
It's okay, Banjo.
You're safe with me.
[ROBOTIC VOICE REPEATS IN FRENCH.]
You all right? There's a finger under the stove.
Oh, yeah.
So, when do you think he's coming back? Will you stop askin' me that?! I don't care if Jesse's coming back, okay? - And neither should you.
- Don't snap at me.
You've not cornered the market on being pissed off, all right? I'm just as angry as you are.
You can trust in that.
I mean, who put him in charge? Well, not me.
I always thought I was in charge.
[SCOFFS.]
What? - Nothin'.
- No, go on.
Oh, please.
You're like third-in-charge.
Third? There's no way! Figure it out, Cass.
- You ain't in charge of me.
- I never said I was.
Or Jesse.
What? Go on.
Third's a bleeding joke.
It's insulting.
Math is what it is.
I'll have you know I'm in charge of a whole heap of people, - actually.
- Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
Like who? - Like Lil' Banjo.
- [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
This is worse than waterboarding.
- Denis.
- TULIP: Doesn't listen to you.
- And we're working on that! - [CELLPHONE RINGS.]
Like, how do you think that's fair? - Status report.
- I'm not third.
[BEEP.]
He's on his way.
CASSIDY: All right, all right.
So let's just say, for the sake of argument, that's you're left in charge.
What's your bright idea for us, then? I'm curious to hear it.
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE.]
On a serious note, what do we do? 'Cause I'm startin' to worry about it.
Well we go to Bimini as planned.
What, just the two of us? Yeah.
Alone? - Sure.
- [SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
[HEART BEATING.]
I guess so.
- Why not? - [NOTES SOUR, TEMPO SLOWS.]
[MUSIC STOPS, HEARTBEAT CONTINUES.]
- [DRAMATIC CHORD PLAYS.]
- No reason.
[SIGHS.]
He'll come back.
He always comes back.
Not always.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Oh! Here he is.
Hey, Cass.
Hey.
- Hi.
- We were just wonderin' about you.
You were wonderin'.
Yeah, you were just starin' at me finger on the floor.
I wasn't staring at it, Cassidy.
I was noticing it.
Noticing the floor finger without a wonder in the world.
Well, you find Him? I don't want to talk about God right now.
Does anyone here have a drink? Now, that, that's bloody leadership! I got a potation in me room.
It's just ripe.
I think you're gonna love it.
- Come on.
- A what? Hey, save some for me, you wet brains! [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Potation.
[SNORTS.]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS.]
[DOOR OPENS, THUD.]
[DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES.]
[HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYS.]
Preacher.
N-No.
[JESSE AND CASSIDY LAUGH IN DISTANCE.]
Weapons.
Rio.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
You leave 'em alone! [GRUNTS.]
Ohh.
JESSE: [MUFFLED.]
That's a pretty far-fetched theory, Cass, - even for you.
- CASSIDY: [MUFFLED.]
I'm tellin' ya, mate, if you watch that movie again, you'll see.
Tyler Durden does exist.
You're saying the twist to "Fight Club" is - there is no twist? - Exactly! How do you figure that? Because nobody listens to ugly people, Padre.
If yer gonna inspire an anti-materialistic organization with worldwide designs on erasing global debt, you got to look like Brad Pitt.
Well, hold on now.
I wouldn't exactly call Edward Norton ugly.
[KNIVES CLATTER.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[KNIVES CLATTER.]
Instrumental in 37 covert Dutch ops just last year alone.
Dutch ops? Oh, yeah.
Those guys are the worst.
Well, the Dutch foreskin plant must be booming.
That's ridiculous.
Every country doesn't have their own foreskin plan.
The Netherlands are the leading consumers in the foreskin market 10 to 1.
They buy so much of it, half goes to waste.
So they end up sneakin' the excess into toothpaste or baby formula.
Like how Brad Pitt, how he sells the lady-fat soap to rich ladies in "Fight Club.
" - Full circle.
- You mean Edward Norton? No, I mean Brad Pitt because he does exist.
Look, the point is the Netherlands are like a sexy Tyler Durden and someone's got to stop them.
Come on, Cass.
That can't be true.
Wispread reports.
Substantiated reports, to be honest.
Well, if it makes it taste better, then what's the harm in it? It's foreskin into baby formula! It's bloody cannibalism! Are you jokin'? [MUFFLED, UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYS.]
- I mean, think about it.
- What's the harm? - Baby formula.
It's cannibalism.
- I don't know, Cass.
It doesn't sound any worse than what goes into a hot dog.
It's a hundred times worse.
[UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYS CLEARLY.]
Try some of this.
It's me reserve stock.
That's what I call it.
Have a go at that.
I think you'll find it - [SIZZLING.]
- Oh, shite! Bollocks! What is it, battery acid? Just try it.
- [COUGHS.]
- What? Too much Neosporin? - Can we get a beer now? - Yeah, all right.
Tulip! Get your man a six-pack! [UPBEAT, FRENCH MUSIC RESUMES.]
That's odd.
She normally hops right to that.
I'll go gather some suds.
[SIGHS.]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[SIGHS.]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS.]
- CASSIDY: Aah! - [THUD.]
[HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
Where's Tulip? Not here for her.
So, shall I ask you to beg, or should I make you? I was merciful last time, not sending you back to where you belong.
No.
You were chicken shit.
Didn't want your soul in Hell.
[ECHOING, DISTORTED.]
Get on your knees.
Didn't hear you, Preacher.
Get on your Come here, ya shite.
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
Aah! [GRUNTING.]
Aah! [GASPING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Aah! [GROANS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Aah! Oof! He's gonna kill him.
Not yet.
He's taking his time.
Get away from him, you asshole! [BOTH GRUNT.]
Stop.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
JESSE: Hey! You're not here for her.
That's right, Preacher.
I'm here for you.
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
Time to get on your knees.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[ROPE CREAKS.]
I met a man once.
A bar, in a town where I had some business.
He sat and talked at me about scalpin' heads.
Comanche mostly, out there on the Colorado.
They were his business.
[SNIFFLES.]
The noise their heads would make That's what he talked most about.
The noise was his main concern.
He tried describing it to me.
Like a wet sheet torn to pieces.
Only not.
Only different.
He'd been at this business for so long, the man allowed that he'd fallen into a captivation over it over the years.
Sittin' in church or laying in his bed at night, he couldn't stop turnin' it over in his mind.
The noise was all he loved.
I shot him dead with all the rest.
But I've been curious about his noise ever since.
Well, go ahead.
But then you're never gonna see Heaven.
Like you said, the things I done, I was never gonna anyway.
There ain't no such thing as never.
Any man can change himself.
I tried to.
But it's a lie.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[FLOORBOARDS CREAK.]
MANNERING: William.
That's enough.
Time to go back.
Never.
It's up to you, but your Hell is empty and must be filed with someone like your wife or your daughter.
You can't do that.
God's gone.
Who's going to stop me? And what about the preacher? Leave him.
Those are my orders.
Another time.
[KNIFE CLATTERS.]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
You're lucky to have a man like Herr Starr looking out for you.
He has my soul.
Sorry to hear it.
CASSIDY: Padre.
Little help here please.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
- I'll meet you there.
- No, no, listen, listen, someone needs to stay with Denis, warm him up some medicine.
Oh, and k-keep an eye on Lil' Banjo, will ya? Why are you going to the hospital anyway? Blood run.
I'm running low.
- [ENGINE STARTS.]
- Right.
I'm sorry.
I thought I could stop him, I really did.
But the sonofuhbitch punched me in the throat and I [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Good thing I was there.
Ooh.
Sounds like you really saved the day.
[SCOFFS.]
Shut up, Cass.
Look.
Whatever, okay.
It all worked out in the end.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[AMBULANCE SIREN WAILS, CHIRPS.]
Thank you both for coming.
I'll dive right in while you take a moment to adjust and acclimate yourselves.
My name is Herr Starr.
My God, you're unattractive.
I'm sorry.
I just I-I saw his face, and I just had the thought.
Said it out loud.
Jesse has mentioned me to you, told you about our dealings? - Your dealings? - Mm.
He hasn't taken you into his confidence.
I suppose I'm not surprised.
You are holding him back.
You see And how do I find a way of saying this without hurting your feelings? My God, it's hypnotic, isn't it? Like a school-bus crash, it's - I just I can't take my eyes off his face.
- Cassidy, shut up.
Well, he's doing all the talking.
Why don't we make him shut up? I want to hear what he has to say, okay? That's right, Tulip.
You understand.
Jesse Custer is heading for big things Greatness, glory, power.
He's a very special person.
And deep down, whether he's ready to admit or not, he knows the two of you just aren't.
So my question, what this has been about from the beginning and I think we should really dig in to and discuss here, given that the fate of the entire universe is at stake, is how shall we proceed? [BELL TOLLING.]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
God is gone [CROWD GASPING, MOANING.]
from our hearts [CROWD SIGHING.]
from town to town and cities across the world.
His absence is real, the loss of Him widely felt, leaving us poor sinners alone to grapple with the age-old eternal question, "What happens next?" I answer that question with hope.
God is gone, but His promise remains, the promise that, when all seems most lost, his Son will return to save us.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Jesus, or a reasonable approximation thereof, is coming.
You need not doubt or fear much longer.
All you need to do is get ready.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Hey.
I gave Denis some blood.
His head's It's a funny angle but he's sleeping.
Thanks.
What happened? What happened with you? [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Let's get something to eat.
Man, look, I'm tellin' ya, I seen it.
I seen it with me own two eyes.
Cass, the amount of crap you've put in your body, - I'm sure you seen all kinds of things.
- Well, I will have you know that I was damn near completely sober at the time, right? Listen to this.
I was lying by the campfire there.
I hear a bit of a noise, so I went down to the river to investigate.
And there it was, just You know? Lickin' an ice cream cone, huh? Lickin' an ice cream How did you get that from what I just did? 'Cause that what it look like, like you were eating a ice cream cone.
Where the bloody hell is it gonna get an ice cream cone? The ice cream truck? You're just trying to ruin my story, anl don't like it.
It was drinking river water.
- The unicorn? - Honestly, stood under the stars.
It was just beautiful scene, regal.
Majestic creature.
He was thirsty.
Well, yes, clip-cloppin' around with an enormous horn on its head, you know, I can only imagine the dehydration with that.
And eatin' all that ice cream could have helped.
There wasn't any ice cream! That's right.
Ice cream makes you thirsty.
- Known fact.
- Now, stop it.
We're out in the middle of the forest.
Where in the heck is it gonna find an ice cream truck? - Just sayin'.
- [LAUGHS.]
Stop it.
- [LAUGHS.]
- What a moron.
So, are you gonna say it, or should we? - What? - We met your friend, the one with the head like an oiled egg.
- When? - "The Messiah"? [CHUCKLES.]
Come on.
That's a joke, right? Padre, tell me you're jokin'.
I don't think I have a choice.
What are you talking about? 'Course you have choi You've got lots of choices.
What about finding God? I found Him already.
What? Sort of.
Do you remember Man-dog? No.
I knew there was somethin' about that dog.
Well, I got to thinking, is it worth finding a god like this? And, honestly, I I don't know.
What I do know is someone worse is getting set to take His place.
All right.
Let him take his place.
They've been rotatin' kinky gods on and off the throne since the beginning of time.
You know? We've always been all right.
Not this time.
Humperdoo being the savior of the world? No.
I have to do this.
See? Told you.
No, I don't see.
I don't see this at all.
Look, you, the Messiah? No offense, Padre, but that has got to be the stupidest thing I ever heard.
- Why not me? - Have you met yourself? Padre, you drink, you fight, you like to break people's arms just to hear the sounds they make.
You're just a person like the rest of us, Jesse.
No, I'm not, Cass.
See, I was given this power Me, not anyone else.
Me.
You know, a long time ago, I made this pro "A long time ago, I made this promise to me dad to be good.
" We remember.
You made a promise.
You did.
What about us? Well, you can come with me.
Hard part's over.
The Saint's gone.
We can go back to saving the world and having fun.
God, do you remember that time And, honestly, it feels like ages ago now You were talkin' about bikinis and handguns, just gettin' into trouble, right? To me, that's fun.
That's fun, not bowing down to Lord Jesse.
Oh, come on, Cass.
It's not gonna be like that.
No? Well, what's it gonna be like then? 'Cause I'm super curious to hear about it? I don't know.
Guys.
Come on.
I love you, Jesse till the end of the world.
But you've got to be honest with me.
What do you need us for? What? [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Tell Satan I want a word.
He'll want a word with you, as well.
[WHIRRING.]
Any word? Not yet.
Find them.
This way.
Come on.
[GRUNTING.]
MAN: [PLEADING.]
Babe, put the gun down.
She didn't mean anything to me, all right? I-I love you.
WOMAN: [VOICE BREAKING.]
You can't talk your way out of this one, not this time.
Babe, you got to believe me, baby.
It was just sex, just a lot of really great sex.
- Aah! You son of a bitch! - [GUNSHOT, MAN GROANS.]
[GUNSHOT, THUD.]
[WHIRRING.]
[BABIES CRYING.]
Never mind.
Keep moving! WOMAN: Two days, three at most.
Stay the horse.
Keep to your affairs.
Come back to us.
[OMIUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
HERR STARR: Where are your friends? They couldn't make it.
That's too bad, but I knew you'd make the right decision.
What happens next? [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[EERIE VOCALIZING.]
JESSE: It was a test.
He knew I was coming.
Did you know God was Man-dog? I've learned a lot about you over the past few days.
You're the right man for the job, and the job is right for you.
Time to go.
I will be with you every step of the way.
[RUSTLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Ohh.
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[WHIRRING.]
You can if you resist, Eugene.
Show the machine you don't belong here, and the secret door will open! [EXHALES DEEP.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Resist.
Eugene.
Nein.
What the heck? Ew.
- No! - [GUNSHOT.]
[STATIC.]
That's right.
Resist the pattern, Eugene.
You can kiss me if you want to.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
HITLER: Don't do it, Eugene.
I'm good.
[CHUCKLES.]
You don't want [CHUCKLES.]
to? You, Eugene Root, you're too good for me? Ugh.
No.
No, I didn't mean that.
- No! W-Wait! - [GUNSHOT.]
[THUD.]
[STATIC.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Kiss me.
Please.
I'm begging you.
Don't know what I'm supposed to do.
If I kiss you, you kill yourself.
If I don't kiss you you kill yourself.
We're friends, Tracy.
I just want you to be okay.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
We're friends.
That's all I wanted to hear.
Thank you.
That should open the secret.
[GRUNTS.]
TRACY: You still like me, though, right? [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Like, like me like me? Yes, of course.
Nein.
Verflucht verfuhrerin! I can tell.
Show me.
- Tracy.
- Come on, Eugene.
You said we're friends.
Show me.
[SIGHS.]
[ZIPPER UNZIPS.]
Ew.
- That was, like, ugh.
- [ZIPPER ZIPS.]
Feel like my eyes are gonna barf.
[SIGHS.]
Do you like my hair like this? You know what, Tracy? You're mean.
What? Yeah, you're mean and conceited, and you use people.
You are not a nice person.
No, you're not a nice person! God, I cannot believe you'd say this to me right now.
I'm gonna kill myself, and it's going to be your fault.
No.
It won't.
Tracy, if you're so shallow that you need to commit suicide to get people's attention, go ahead.
But it'll be your fault, not mine.
[SIGHS.]
Wunderbar! Let's get out of here.
[GRUNTS.]
- [GUNSHOT.]
- [GROANS.]
- Damn it! What else? - [TOILET FLUSHES.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Who ze hell is that? Troop Leader Pedro? Haven't thought about you in years.
Remember when we went on that camping trip? We went into the woods to collect firewood, and I told you "never touch me again"? I meant it.
- [GUNSHOT.]
- Aah! [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Ja.
Good boy.
That should do it.
[GRUNTS.]
I don't understand.
Who else is there? - Unless - [DOOR RATTLES.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
- Dad? - [SIGHING.]
Aw, scheisse.
I'm so sorry.
What can I do? How can I fix it? But No.
I'm just a kid.
Yeah, I got scared, and I messed up, but I'm still just a kid.
I'm sorry that you're sad, but I'm not gonna shoot myself, and I'm not gonna apologize for being your son.
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYS.]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
[SIGHS.]
I love you, too, Dad.
Yes! [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS.]
[WHIRRING.]
[WHIRRING STOPS.]
JESSE: [ECHOING.]
Get on your knees.
[GRUNTS.]
- [GUN COCKS.]
- Drop it.
Disarm.
The gun.
Saber.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Let's go for arive.
[ENGINE REVS, WATER SPLASHES.]
Preacher!! [BUBBLING.]
A cop-killing, child-murderin' sonofuhbitch tryin' to make his way through the pearly gates? You really think there's a place for you in Heaven up there with your wife and child, livin' in peace for all eternity? No.
I'll tell you where you belong.
[POUNDING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[POUNDING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE.]
[POUNDING, GRUNTING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[SCREAMS.]
[GLASS RATTLING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
You've ignored your soul for too long.
No more killing.
No more drinking.
Your soul is where your goodness lies, the goodness I know is there.
Then we'll be together in Heaven for all eternity.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
[SIGHS.]
Preacher.
Welcome, my son.
Get on your knees.
"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
" "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due" "doing good, for in due season, we will weep, if we do not give up.
" Amen.
[BIRDS SINGING.]
Mommy, do I have to eat beets? Yes, my angel.
Beets help us grow.
Can't I eat something else to help me grow? Like what? Apple pie? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Here.
This will help.
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
How's your milk? It's good.
Daddy doesn't mean it.
You callin' me a fibber? Uh-huh.
Here.
No.
No one puts salt in their m Hold on.
Let's see.
Even better.
[GIGGLES.]
[POUNDING, SCREAMING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CHOIR VOCALIZING EERILY.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[TRUCK RATTLES.]
[BRAKES SQUEAL.]
[ENGINE TURNS OFF.]
[AIR HISSES.]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING.]
[WHIRRING STOPS.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[SNIFFS.]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS.]
[INTERCOM CLICKS.]
Uh hello in there.
Uh, sorry about that traffic.
I shouldn't have taken the interstate, but, anyway How are you? My name is, uh, FJ Hoover, 2nd Lieutenant of the Grail Organization.
I want to welcome you to our, uh, custody.
We know what you want.
As you know, Heaven's probably not gonna happen, but we can give you the next best thing.
All you have to do is work with us, so think about it.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
WOMAN: Stay the horse.
Keep to your affairs.
Come back to us.
[ECHOING.]
Your soul is where your goodness lies.
Hey, mister! Hey! We're headed to Ratwater! Your soul is where your goodness lies the goodness I know is there.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[HEART BEATING.]
Hey, mister.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
- No.
- [GUNSHOT.]
No more killing.
No more drinking.
No more killing.
No more drinking.
No more killing.
No more drinking.
No more killing.
No more drinking.
And we'll be together in Heaven for all eternity.
[CROWS SCREECHING.]
[POUNDING.]
[POUNDING CONTINUES.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You've gotten weaker.
You know you have.
You really should consider our offer.
We just want to make you strong again.
It is a win-win situation.
After all what more do you have to lose? [RAPID BEEPING.]
Okay, good.
I'm glad we could reach this understanding.
Now just do what you do.
[LOCK DISENGAGES.]
[PANTING.]
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYS.]
[GROWLING.]
[HONKY-TONK MUSIC PLAYS, INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
Made up your mind? Whiskey.
[MUFFLED SINGING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Where you from? - Texas.
- Heard of it.
And what brings you to New Orleans? I'm here to kill a man.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
CASSIDY: What yeh doing in me room, son? [ROBOTIC VOICE REPEATS QUESTION IN FRENCH.]
Get out.
Sortez.
[DOOR CREAKS.]
[WHINES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
It's okay, Banjo.
You're safe with me.
[ROBOTIC VOICE REPEATS IN FRENCH.]
You all right? There's a finger under the stove.
Oh, yeah.
So, when do you think he's coming back? Will you stop askin' me that?! I don't care if Jesse's coming back, okay? - And neither should you.
- Don't snap at me.
You've not cornered the market on being pissed off, all right? I'm just as angry as you are.
You can trust in that.
I mean, who put him in charge? Well, not me.
I always thought I was in charge.
[SCOFFS.]
What? - Nothin'.
- No, go on.
Oh, please.
You're like third-in-charge.
Third? There's no way! Figure it out, Cass.
- You ain't in charge of me.
- I never said I was.
Or Jesse.
What? Go on.
Third's a bleeding joke.
It's insulting.
Math is what it is.
I'll have you know I'm in charge of a whole heap of people, - actually.
- Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
Like who? - Like Lil' Banjo.
- [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
This is worse than waterboarding.
- Denis.
- TULIP: Doesn't listen to you.
- And we're working on that! - [CELLPHONE RINGS.]
Like, how do you think that's fair? - Status report.
- I'm not third.
[BEEP.]
He's on his way.
CASSIDY: All right, all right.
So let's just say, for the sake of argument, that's you're left in charge.
What's your bright idea for us, then? I'm curious to hear it.
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE.]
On a serious note, what do we do? 'Cause I'm startin' to worry about it.
Well we go to Bimini as planned.
What, just the two of us? Yeah.
Alone? - Sure.
- [SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
[HEART BEATING.]
I guess so.
- Why not? - [NOTES SOUR, TEMPO SLOWS.]
[MUSIC STOPS, HEARTBEAT CONTINUES.]
- [DRAMATIC CHORD PLAYS.]
- No reason.
[SIGHS.]
He'll come back.
He always comes back.
Not always.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Oh! Here he is.
Hey, Cass.
Hey.
- Hi.
- We were just wonderin' about you.
You were wonderin'.
Yeah, you were just starin' at me finger on the floor.
I wasn't staring at it, Cassidy.
I was noticing it.
Noticing the floor finger without a wonder in the world.
Well, you find Him? I don't want to talk about God right now.
Does anyone here have a drink? Now, that, that's bloody leadership! I got a potation in me room.
It's just ripe.
I think you're gonna love it.
- Come on.
- A what? Hey, save some for me, you wet brains! [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Potation.
[SNORTS.]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS.]
[DOOR OPENS, THUD.]
[DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES.]
[HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYS.]
Preacher.
N-No.
[JESSE AND CASSIDY LAUGH IN DISTANCE.]
Weapons.
Rio.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
You leave 'em alone! [GRUNTS.]
Ohh.
JESSE: [MUFFLED.]
That's a pretty far-fetched theory, Cass, - even for you.
- CASSIDY: [MUFFLED.]
I'm tellin' ya, mate, if you watch that movie again, you'll see.
Tyler Durden does exist.
You're saying the twist to "Fight Club" is - there is no twist? - Exactly! How do you figure that? Because nobody listens to ugly people, Padre.
If yer gonna inspire an anti-materialistic organization with worldwide designs on erasing global debt, you got to look like Brad Pitt.
Well, hold on now.
I wouldn't exactly call Edward Norton ugly.
[KNIVES CLATTER.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[KNIVES CLATTER.]
Instrumental in 37 covert Dutch ops just last year alone.
Dutch ops? Oh, yeah.
Those guys are the worst.
Well, the Dutch foreskin plant must be booming.
That's ridiculous.
Every country doesn't have their own foreskin plan.
The Netherlands are the leading consumers in the foreskin market 10 to 1.
They buy so much of it, half goes to waste.
So they end up sneakin' the excess into toothpaste or baby formula.
Like how Brad Pitt, how he sells the lady-fat soap to rich ladies in "Fight Club.
" - Full circle.
- You mean Edward Norton? No, I mean Brad Pitt because he does exist.
Look, the point is the Netherlands are like a sexy Tyler Durden and someone's got to stop them.
Come on, Cass.
That can't be true.
Wispread reports.
Substantiated reports, to be honest.
Well, if it makes it taste better, then what's the harm in it? It's foreskin into baby formula! It's bloody cannibalism! Are you jokin'? [MUFFLED, UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYS.]
- I mean, think about it.
- What's the harm? - Baby formula.
It's cannibalism.
- I don't know, Cass.
It doesn't sound any worse than what goes into a hot dog.
It's a hundred times worse.
[UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYS CLEARLY.]
Try some of this.
It's me reserve stock.
That's what I call it.
Have a go at that.
I think you'll find it - [SIZZLING.]
- Oh, shite! Bollocks! What is it, battery acid? Just try it.
- [COUGHS.]
- What? Too much Neosporin? - Can we get a beer now? - Yeah, all right.
Tulip! Get your man a six-pack! [UPBEAT, FRENCH MUSIC RESUMES.]
That's odd.
She normally hops right to that.
I'll go gather some suds.
[SIGHS.]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[SIGHS.]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS.]
- CASSIDY: Aah! - [THUD.]
[HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
Where's Tulip? Not here for her.
So, shall I ask you to beg, or should I make you? I was merciful last time, not sending you back to where you belong.
No.
You were chicken shit.
Didn't want your soul in Hell.
[ECHOING, DISTORTED.]
Get on your knees.
Didn't hear you, Preacher.
Get on your Come here, ya shite.
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
Aah! [GRUNTING.]
Aah! [GASPING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Aah! [GROANS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Aah! Oof! He's gonna kill him.
Not yet.
He's taking his time.
Get away from him, you asshole! [BOTH GRUNT.]
Stop.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
JESSE: Hey! You're not here for her.
That's right, Preacher.
I'm here for you.
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
Time to get on your knees.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[ROPE CREAKS.]
I met a man once.
A bar, in a town where I had some business.
He sat and talked at me about scalpin' heads.
Comanche mostly, out there on the Colorado.
They were his business.
[SNIFFLES.]
The noise their heads would make That's what he talked most about.
The noise was his main concern.
He tried describing it to me.
Like a wet sheet torn to pieces.
Only not.
Only different.
He'd been at this business for so long, the man allowed that he'd fallen into a captivation over it over the years.
Sittin' in church or laying in his bed at night, he couldn't stop turnin' it over in his mind.
The noise was all he loved.
I shot him dead with all the rest.
But I've been curious about his noise ever since.
Well, go ahead.
But then you're never gonna see Heaven.
Like you said, the things I done, I was never gonna anyway.
There ain't no such thing as never.
Any man can change himself.
I tried to.
But it's a lie.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[FLOORBOARDS CREAK.]
MANNERING: William.
That's enough.
Time to go back.
Never.
It's up to you, but your Hell is empty and must be filed with someone like your wife or your daughter.
You can't do that.
God's gone.
Who's going to stop me? And what about the preacher? Leave him.
Those are my orders.
Another time.
[KNIFE CLATTERS.]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
You're lucky to have a man like Herr Starr looking out for you.
He has my soul.
Sorry to hear it.
CASSIDY: Padre.
Little help here please.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
- I'll meet you there.
- No, no, listen, listen, someone needs to stay with Denis, warm him up some medicine.
Oh, and k-keep an eye on Lil' Banjo, will ya? Why are you going to the hospital anyway? Blood run.
I'm running low.
- [ENGINE STARTS.]
- Right.
I'm sorry.
I thought I could stop him, I really did.
But the sonofuhbitch punched me in the throat and I [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Good thing I was there.
Ooh.
Sounds like you really saved the day.
[SCOFFS.]
Shut up, Cass.
Look.
Whatever, okay.
It all worked out in the end.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[AMBULANCE SIREN WAILS, CHIRPS.]
Thank you both for coming.
I'll dive right in while you take a moment to adjust and acclimate yourselves.
My name is Herr Starr.
My God, you're unattractive.
I'm sorry.
I just I-I saw his face, and I just had the thought.
Said it out loud.
Jesse has mentioned me to you, told you about our dealings? - Your dealings? - Mm.
He hasn't taken you into his confidence.
I suppose I'm not surprised.
You are holding him back.
You see And how do I find a way of saying this without hurting your feelings? My God, it's hypnotic, isn't it? Like a school-bus crash, it's - I just I can't take my eyes off his face.
- Cassidy, shut up.
Well, he's doing all the talking.
Why don't we make him shut up? I want to hear what he has to say, okay? That's right, Tulip.
You understand.
Jesse Custer is heading for big things Greatness, glory, power.
He's a very special person.
And deep down, whether he's ready to admit or not, he knows the two of you just aren't.
So my question, what this has been about from the beginning and I think we should really dig in to and discuss here, given that the fate of the entire universe is at stake, is how shall we proceed? [BELL TOLLING.]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
God is gone [CROWD GASPING, MOANING.]
from our hearts [CROWD SIGHING.]
from town to town and cities across the world.
His absence is real, the loss of Him widely felt, leaving us poor sinners alone to grapple with the age-old eternal question, "What happens next?" I answer that question with hope.
God is gone, but His promise remains, the promise that, when all seems most lost, his Son will return to save us.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Jesus, or a reasonable approximation thereof, is coming.
You need not doubt or fear much longer.
All you need to do is get ready.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Hey.
I gave Denis some blood.
His head's It's a funny angle but he's sleeping.
Thanks.
What happened? What happened with you? [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Let's get something to eat.
Man, look, I'm tellin' ya, I seen it.
I seen it with me own two eyes.
Cass, the amount of crap you've put in your body, - I'm sure you seen all kinds of things.
- Well, I will have you know that I was damn near completely sober at the time, right? Listen to this.
I was lying by the campfire there.
I hear a bit of a noise, so I went down to the river to investigate.
And there it was, just You know? Lickin' an ice cream cone, huh? Lickin' an ice cream How did you get that from what I just did? 'Cause that what it look like, like you were eating a ice cream cone.
Where the bloody hell is it gonna get an ice cream cone? The ice cream truck? You're just trying to ruin my story, anl don't like it.
It was drinking river water.
- The unicorn? - Honestly, stood under the stars.
It was just beautiful scene, regal.
Majestic creature.
He was thirsty.
Well, yes, clip-cloppin' around with an enormous horn on its head, you know, I can only imagine the dehydration with that.
And eatin' all that ice cream could have helped.
There wasn't any ice cream! That's right.
Ice cream makes you thirsty.
- Known fact.
- Now, stop it.
We're out in the middle of the forest.
Where in the heck is it gonna find an ice cream truck? - Just sayin'.
- [LAUGHS.]
Stop it.
- [LAUGHS.]
- What a moron.
So, are you gonna say it, or should we? - What? - We met your friend, the one with the head like an oiled egg.
- When? - "The Messiah"? [CHUCKLES.]
Come on.
That's a joke, right? Padre, tell me you're jokin'.
I don't think I have a choice.
What are you talking about? 'Course you have choi You've got lots of choices.
What about finding God? I found Him already.
What? Sort of.
Do you remember Man-dog? No.
I knew there was somethin' about that dog.
Well, I got to thinking, is it worth finding a god like this? And, honestly, I I don't know.
What I do know is someone worse is getting set to take His place.
All right.
Let him take his place.
They've been rotatin' kinky gods on and off the throne since the beginning of time.
You know? We've always been all right.
Not this time.
Humperdoo being the savior of the world? No.
I have to do this.
See? Told you.
No, I don't see.
I don't see this at all.
Look, you, the Messiah? No offense, Padre, but that has got to be the stupidest thing I ever heard.
- Why not me? - Have you met yourself? Padre, you drink, you fight, you like to break people's arms just to hear the sounds they make.
You're just a person like the rest of us, Jesse.
No, I'm not, Cass.
See, I was given this power Me, not anyone else.
Me.
You know, a long time ago, I made this pro "A long time ago, I made this promise to me dad to be good.
" We remember.
You made a promise.
You did.
What about us? Well, you can come with me.
Hard part's over.
The Saint's gone.
We can go back to saving the world and having fun.
God, do you remember that time And, honestly, it feels like ages ago now You were talkin' about bikinis and handguns, just gettin' into trouble, right? To me, that's fun.
That's fun, not bowing down to Lord Jesse.
Oh, come on, Cass.
It's not gonna be like that.
No? Well, what's it gonna be like then? 'Cause I'm super curious to hear about it? I don't know.
Guys.
Come on.
I love you, Jesse till the end of the world.
But you've got to be honest with me.
What do you need us for? What? [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
Tell Satan I want a word.
He'll want a word with you, as well.
[WHIRRING.]
Any word? Not yet.
Find them.
This way.
Come on.
[GRUNTING.]
MAN: [PLEADING.]
Babe, put the gun down.
She didn't mean anything to me, all right? I-I love you.
WOMAN: [VOICE BREAKING.]
You can't talk your way out of this one, not this time.
Babe, you got to believe me, baby.
It was just sex, just a lot of really great sex.
- Aah! You son of a bitch! - [GUNSHOT, MAN GROANS.]
[GUNSHOT, THUD.]
[WHIRRING.]
[BABIES CRYING.]
Never mind.
Keep moving! WOMAN: Two days, three at most.
Stay the horse.
Keep to your affairs.
Come back to us.
[OMIUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
HERR STARR: Where are your friends? They couldn't make it.
That's too bad, but I knew you'd make the right decision.
What happens next? [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[EERIE VOCALIZING.]