Pushing Daisies s02e12 Episode Script
Water and Power
Young Emerson Cod is 11 years two months, eight days and three hours old.
He is in big trouble.
For this was his sixth visit in ten days to the principal's office.
The previous Tuesday had seen Young Emerson punch future frat boy and current lunch-money extorter Guy Baxter.
Wednesday saw the return of Young Emerson to the big couch for the crime of inappropriate double entendre at the science fair.
He returned the following Monday after a second encounter with Guy Baxter.
Young Emerson assured everyone that he would leave Guy alone now as the bully had no more eyes.
Specialists were summoned, tests given, therapies administered.
A boy of above-average intelligence who, previously had nothing but respect for rules and regulations Young Emerson 's mischief remained an utter mystery.
Because what troubled him was not parental alienation or sublimated anger.
It was a heart.
He was in love with Principal Eleanor Swindle.
That year, Young Emerson learned his most important lesson.
Love makes you stupid.
Randy Mann, what brings you in out of the cold? I think we're in for a mid-winter thaw.
Heh.
Normally, I can see my breath from under the sheets which is daunting, because I sleep in the nude.
But as long as I cocoon myself in my comforter and Ha.
Can I help you with that? I'll be okay if there's a satisfying point to this story.
Oh, I couldn't see my breath this morning.
Oh.
And I'm looking for Olive.
- Now we're talking.
Olive.
Yeah? You have a gentleman caller come in out of the thaw.
Whatidy-what what? Randy.
Hi.
- Hi.
- I need to Go.
Oh.
- Randy's back.
To see Olive.
In an l- was-nowhere-near-your-neighborhood l- thought-I'd-stop-by kind of way.
Look, it's so sweet.
I'm happy.
Heh.
Olive's been through a tough patch I may have made tougher.
And by "may have" I mean did.
I want this to work out with Randy.
What better place to nurture romance than The Pie Hole? Warmth, pie, snuggly booths.
Heh.
All the right ingredients.
Love doesn't need the right ingredients.
It's heartier than that.
- Heh-heh.
- What? You said love was heartier.
Well, it is heartier.
I mean, we're like those blind fish that live in volcanoes at the bottom of the ocean.
Only we're two fish that can't even touch.
Because normally, fish are all over each other.
Our love has grown and survived in spite of everything we've been through.
- We have been through a lot.
- And here is to us.
For successfully navigating some extremely rough and very complicated seas.
And here's to Randy and Olive.
May they have smooth sailing ahead.
Cheers.
What are we toasting to? You and Why is Randy leaving? Just decided to call it quits.
Too much, too soon.
Actually, it was just me.
Singular.
So, more accurately, I'd say it was me who decided to call it quit.
You know what, I'll be in the kitchen rationalizing my panic attack.
Man overboard.
Randy, you know when people are nervous, sometimes it's easy to misunderstand what they mean.
Yeah.
I mean, everything was going fine, and then suddenly she said goodbye.
And, "Thanks for coming.
" Then she shook my hand.
Which was weird.
It's been hard for Olive.
She's been through a swamp of emotions.
She She doesn't want to get stuck again.
Well, I know all about her getting stuck on Ned.
- She said she was over it.
- It's scary starting something new.
It's about exposing your heart to a stranger.
And putting your faith in the idea of someone before you get to know the truth about who they really are.
You know what it's like? It's like driving a car blindfolded.
You just have to relax.
- Relax? - Relax? Maybe bullfighting is the wrong comparison.
But it's hard making these things work.
You're telling me these things are hard to make work? I know that because you taught me.
Maybe that's why Randy's scary to you.
You're not used to something easy and maybe really great.
- Oh, my God.
I'm that girl.
That girl in high school who's afraid of relationships so she's always attracted to guys in college or Canada.
Or you.
I just want you to be happy, Olive.
So, what you're saying is, I shouldn't run away from Randy.
- Yes.
- That Randy might be just what I need.
- Yes.
- Quick fling.
To rub ointment on the burns from us and then rip off and toss away like used gauze.
- Not yes.
- He's Randy Rebound.
No, he's not.
As the Pie-Maker began to doubt his plan to reunite the would-be lovers a mile to the west, another reunion was taking place.
Simone Hundin, breeder of well-heeled dogs Stay.
returned from the Merryweather Multi-city Canine Cavalcade with her dog, Bubblegum.
Without constant reinforcement, even the best training gets forgotten.
You take off like that again, I just may forget we got something going on.
No such luck.
You should know, neither Bubblegum nor I are prone to bolting.
Well, that's good.
That's very good.
Sounds like there's a story.
There was a story.
Emerson had once fallen for a woman who had bolted and taken their baby daughter to boot.
- Does it have to do with this? - Emerson had written a pop-up book about his missing daughter in hopes that, one day, he would get it published.
And she would read it and come find him.
It's nothing.
I realize what we have is still in the paper-training phase.
But we did agree to be honest.
- I am being hon - I like you.
I'm intensely optimistic about our prospects.
But know that, like any animal in a new situation the thing I hate most is being surprised.
Forgive me, but your door was ajar.
Because it was ajar doesn't change the fact that it was a door before.
Which would indicate to most people to a-knock before a-entering.
How are you, Emerson? Simone, this is Ms.
Amelia Stingwell, sister of Roland "Rollie" Stingwell owner of the Papen County Dam.
I'd tell you more about her, except for due to various reasons we haven't spoken in nine years.
Those various reasons are dead now.
Rollie was killed last night.
I'm sorry about your loss.
He'd pop a vein if he knew I were here asking you to solve his murder but you've always been the best in town.
Whoever killed Rollie must have also taken the Dam Ruby.
It's gone.
The damn ruby? The D-A-M, drop the "N," Ruby.
As in a very valuable, precious stone dug up when they built the dam.
He always had it with him.
Never took it off.
You find that ruby, and you'll find Rollie's killer.
After everything that happened all those years ago, Emerson I'd say it was the least that you could do.
Good day.
What happened between you and Rollie? It's nothing.
The facts were these: Roland "Rollie" Stingwell, millionaire builder of the Papen County Dam and sole director of the Papen County Water & Power department was last seen getting ready to leave after a busy day at the office.
His assistant said nothing seemed unusual, as she said: Good night, Mr.
Stingwell.
And headed out early for a dinner engagement.
What engagements engaged Rollie Stingwell in the following hours were not known until the next morning when his body was discovered in a dry riverbed one-half mile from the dam.
- Hey.
- Thanks for coming down.
Ugh.
The poor man and his poor head.
Just think of him like an owl.
- Who? Ha.
That was funny.
He said, "Who?" Like an owl.
How is it going, Rollie? Of all people, I did not expect to see you here, Emerson Cod.
- You know each other? - We're affiliates.
- Affiliated with a common third party.
- There was nothing common about her.
And you know it.
He stole away the love of my life.
And the daffy thing about it is, I paid him to do it.
- I trusted you, Cod.
Hey, you got your money back.
And it ain't stealing if the thing wants to be stolen.
I have questions.
Which I will wait to ask.
Strange.
I spent my life being angry about this.
But now, here in A limbo-y non-denominational way station? The anger has gone and I can see I spent my life living in a haze of a broken heart.
I don't mean to step on toes, but shouldn't someone ask him who did it? - Shh.
- I have tamed nature.
I have stopped rivers from flowing, but there is one thing I could never do.
And that was make that woman love me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, Stingwell, neither could I.
It does make me feel better.
- Who killed you, Stingwell? - You really wanna know? It was Lila Robinson herself.
I assume she came back to steal the ruby.
Oh, man, I wish you'd have said anyone else.
Thank you for your time.
Who the heck is Lila Robinson? She's the baby-mama that took my daughter.
How can you not tell me that you had a daughter? We've buried bodies together.
I mean, you have a daughter.
A daughter.
Have you known and you didn't tell me? You know you ain't fooling nobody, right? Huh? I know that every secret I tell you spends about 20 seconds being secret before it spills out of your mouth and into dead girl's ears.
- Now, that is not true.
- It's true.
It's true.
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
What about Simone? Does she know? I'll take that as a no.
Much as I'd love to ruminate about my painful past over a slice of pie can we find something else to chatter about? Emerson shouldn't feel any pressure to divulge the hidden details of his past.
It's not like we've ever shared big secrets with him.
Mm-hm.
- It's complicated.
What is so complicated about finding your baby-stealing baby-mama and getting your daughter back? If Lila killed Roland Stingwell and stole that Dam Ruby we've been hired to track her down and find your daughter.
Chuck's right.
We should trace Stingwell's last steps.
Maybe Lila left a trail behind.
I've spent the last seven years tracking down her and my kid.
Lila is a wily genius.
A man-eating, shape-shifting grifter who knows how to get in and get out and vanish like heat off a blacktop.
At least we could try.
We need to try.
Maybe I could give it one more shot.
I don't know your daughter's name.
Penny.
My daughter's name is Penny.
The facts were these: Nine years, two months, Rollie Stingwell hired the PI to tail his fiancée Ms.
Emily Von Alistair, who Rollie suspected was having an affair.
The affair, however, was with a dead man one Henry David Thoreau.
And her furtive trips away seemed to show only her desire for a moment of solitude and ornithology to avoid the hubbub of wedding planning.
But hiding from a bird-watcher in a Lincoln Continental is not easy.
And so, Emily Von Alistair began sharing her daily solitude as well as her sandwich and Thermos of tomato soup.
While unconventional, Emerson reasoned he was still very much keeping an eye on Emily.
With each passing Thermos, the private investigator grew more blind to the fact that he was fast approaching the thin line between stakeout and make out.
Emerson hesitated, knowing it was wrong.
But Emily had a solution, and that was to tell the truth.
Emerson? There's something I need to tell you I should probably keep to myself.
Okay.
Emerson Cod would discover that Emily was Lila Robinson a grifter come to town to steal Stingwell's Dam Ruby.
She did not love the millionaire at all.
Twenty-two days later, the PI returned the money Stingwell had paid him.
What he could not return was his client's fiancée or the new life growing inside her.
Furious, Stingwell swore if the grifter ever grifted again he'd make sure she got put away for good.
Lila promised to keep on the straight and narrow while Stingwell went on to build Papen County Water & Power into a juggernaut.
If we're gonna find Lila, we need to retrace Stingwell's steps.
Figure out how he ended up half a mile away.
Welcome to Papen County Dam, source of Papen County's Water & Power.
My name is Taylor Philbean, and, should you take a tour of this historic landmark and working utility, I'll be your dam guide.
When there's a big group, this is where I wait for the laugh to die.
We're invited guests of the Stingwell family here on account of Roland Stingwell's untimely death.
Damn sad is what it is.
Wait here, I'll get some visitor passes and take you up to his private office.
Lila chose to leave behind her life of crime.
What happened? People's nature is like a river.
You can only keep it dammed for so long.
Lila packed up her bags and broke into Stingwell's looking for the Dam Ruby.
When she couldn't find that, she stole 50 grand in cash.
Knowing Stingwell'd track her down, she took Penny and they disappeared.
If you'll follow me.
But you knew who Lila was.
Did you really not see it coming? - Well, I guess I was just blinded.
Say cheese.
Hey.
This camera take pictures of every visitor? For security reasons.
Should you be planning to blow up the dam and flood the valley, one copy is kept on file and another is available for purchase as a keepsake in our gift shop.
Hmm.
- This way.
Have you seen this woman before? Name's Lila Robinson.
That was taken as she was entering the building the day your boss was killed.
I remember the woman.
She did have a private meeting with Mr.
Stingwell but I believe she said her name was Marybeth Acres.
The police have already been here asking questions.
- They ask you about Marybeth? - No.
They were asking about the multimillion-dollar contracts that Mr.
Stingwell was negotiating to replace all the old pipes that bring water into the city.
I'd say the police are on the wrong track.
I agree.
I tried to tell them my theory, but they weren't interested.
I'm interested.
Well, I caught a local factory dumping toxic chemicals into the dam reservoir.
You blew the whistle? You go, girl.
Well, it's my duty as a citizen to watch the reservoir.
One drop of certain mind-altering drugs and we'll all be zombies under the control of those secret signals on FM radio.
- Oh, brother.
- It's a public-health issue.
Yeah, yeah.
What's this door? That's Mr.
Stingwell's private exit.
It leads back through the inside of the dam to a private stairwell.
Oh.
Do you care that I have important information? We do.
We wanna hear all about your theory.
Come on, woman.
Give me something.
Who you talking to, Cod? - Detective Puget.
Been a while.
Figured the Stingwells would hire a private peeper on this one.
Never did like a cop they couldn't buy.
You know, being cocky in a cheap suit's less effective than you think, Puget.
What about Papen County's finest? They got leads? Who didn't wanna knock off Stingwell? You got valuable re-piping contracts up for grabs a hundred angry farmers who had to cough up dough for water because he dammed up their river.
Not to mention a ruby that he flaunted like a trophy wife at a high school reunion.
Oh.
Well, maybe I got a lead for you.
Maybe the only lead you need to follow.
Name's Lila Robinson.
Last known address was local, but she's been on the fly for a while.
Never known you to share, Cod.
What's your angle? Maybe I wouldn't mind help bringing down the hammer of justice.
Doesn't matter if the hammer's public or private.
Long as the nail gets hit.
Catch my drift? I do not.
Catch the bitch.
Use everything you got, move quickly.
I guaran-dam-tee you, she's moving fast.
And the trail's getting cold.
Simone.
How'd you get in here? - Something I've got to tell you.
- Something I gotta tell you too.
I hate to tell you now because it looks like I'm telling you because I have to.
Not because I want to.
That book on my desk Emerson, may I go first? - Sure.
- I'm sorry.
What are you sorry about? Long time, no see, honey.
Lila.
Lila.
- Lila? Told me her name's Priscilla Saltpeter.
Said she'd shoot me if I let on she was here.
She's told a lot of people a lot of things.
You here to see a dead man about a ruby? I'm in town to see you.
You really should lock your office door.
No telling what kind of riffraff'll blow in.
Where's Penny? Penny's somewhere you can't find her.
But I'll make you a deal.
I didn't kill Stingwell or steal his Dam Ruby.
Soon as the cops find out I was there, they'll be all over me like weevils on rice.
Maybe they know already.
Then your job just got significantly harder.
Find the real killer.
Put me in the clear, and I'll let you see Penny.
Hang a red lantern in your office window, and I'll arrange for a reunion.
But the moment I get a whiff that the cops are closing in on me you won't see me or your Penny again.
- Who's Penny? - Penny's the price I paid for thinking with my heart and not my head.
Penny is my daughter.
That's what I was just about to tell you.
Surprise.
- I'll give you 48 hours.
- She's lying.
It's in her eyes.
She's lied so damn much in her life, her eyes look like that permanently.
What's to stop me from taking that toy gun of yours and pushing your frame through my wall? X ylazine.
Come again? Wait.
It was what? It was horse tranquilizer.
When we woke up, Emerson made sure I was okay and left.
Said he was gonna start with the farmers and find the killer.
But we know who the real killer is.
The dead man told us so.
Insofar as a dead man could tell us, by way of some very strong leads acquired in a normal and straightforward way.
If Lila has Penny, she holds all the cards.
We don't even know for sure if Lila has his daughter.
She could be lying about that too.
She's playing him.
Dominating his will until he's no longer listening to his instincts.
Do you really think he's interviewing suspects he knows are innocent? Following leads he knows lead nowhere? He wouldn't do that.
That's not who he is.
But what if who he is isn't who he is right now? Instead of analyzing, we should be helping him.
Doesn't matter how crazy it seems.
If helping Emerson means we blind ourselves to the truth I won't be part of it.
When someone backs you into a corner, you don't get obedient.
You bite back.
Simone, wait.
All I asked from him was that we start out with honesty and no surprises.
I would say this qualifies as a surprise.
Should I go? - Thank you for coming back, Randy.
- Oh, sure.
First off, I just wanna say I'm sorry if it feels like I'm sending mixed signals.
Well, I guess I was a little surprised.
Signals are like nuts.
Mixed is better.
Who wants all the same kind, right? And what's important is that we have a fresh start.
- Right.
Can I ask you a question? - Mm-hm.
You're not just planning on using me to get over Ned, are you? No, no.
Sometimes things are so absurd that I can't even hear them.
Like you just blew a dog whistle full of crazy and I'm not a dog.
Well, I get that.
If you're not ready, I get that.
But, you know, I've been through this before.
Aah-aah-aah.
And I don't wanna be your rebound guy.
Wait.
There it is again.
Nothing.
Is this a bad time to talk? I just wanted to say I think Randy's gonna do the trick.
Wiping the emotional slate clean.
He's picking me up after work.
- That's great, Olive.
- See? I'll be the one lost in some "distracty" thought, not caring, while you prattle on.
I'm sorry.
I do care, and I am distracty.
Olive, I have a question.
Can love make you do something absolutely crazy? I went to a nunnery.
- Have a great time tonight.
- Yeah, I'll do that.
If Emerson's desperate enough not to see the truth he's desperate enough to do anything.
- He needs us.
- Let's go.
It was the end of a long day and Emerson, Chuck and the Pie-Maker had interviewed 28 disgruntled farmers concluding that none were guilty of the murder of Roland Stingwell but as Lila had told Emerson if he proved her innocence he could see his daughter again.
They moved on to farmer number 29.
Mr.
Brunt, you had 200 acres of riverfront farmland before they built the dam.
My farm used to be the most prosperous in the county.
Now with what I pay to truck in water, I can barely pay the rent same as everybody else, but what else would I do? - Now, when is your birthday, precious? - December.
Hmm.
I would've bet an autumn birthday.
The deep orange of orchid embers and Asiatic lilies makes your skin glow.
Actually, I have two birthdays.
My second one's in the fall so actually, you're right.
Your gibberish is sweet, honey.
Keep the flowers.
- Oh, no, I'm telling the truth.
- No, so am I.
If I'd killed Stingwell, I would've done it years ago when my anger was fresh-cut, but nothing's gonna change.
Whoever has the water has the power.
What about the contracts to re-pipe the county water supply? Might be some bad blood there.
Stingwell would've been behind the plan but the mayor would be in charge of the construction.
There's no motive.
We got nothing.
- What about the big polluter angle? - Don't humor me.
If you didn't think we were out of leads and I was high on Lila-berry juice then what would you call the big polluter angle? I may call it that crazy conspiracy theory by Stingwell's crazy assistant.
Or the last-ditch crackpot angle for short, but it's something.
Well, it's all we got left and we're running out of time.
We appreciate you coming to talk to us on such short notice.
We're investigating the death of Roland Stingwell.
There was a legal dispute between Stingwell and your clients, the Fits and Giggles Novelty Company.
We know Mr.
Stingwell was about to make public that one of your client's factories was disposing chemicals into the dam reservoir.
- These are baseless allegations.
Our client did not ever dispose of any chemicals into the reservoir.
This is a categorical denial.
- Maybe once.
- One time only.
Once, we may have inadvertently allowed a small amount of chemicals into the reservoir.
- But it was a long time ago.
- It was Tuesday.
Very, very early Tuesday.
Nearly Monday.
What kind of lawyers are you? Mennonites, which would not be a liability were it not for our personal commitment not to lie.
In regards to the chemicals that were or were not - Were.
- Dumped in the reservoir at an indeterminate time - Two a.
m.
-ish.
- Two thirty-nine.
- There was a spill.
And that's the truth.
Our plastics division had an overflow but it was only the chemicals we use to make things glow in the dark which are nearly identical to drinking water.
With chemicals in it.
We will pay the fine to the appropriate authorities.
- They're polluters, but they're no killers.
- Every road's a dead end.
Except one road, but we can't go down that road.
No, we can't.
The police are gonna go down that road.
Let's say they find Lila.
What's to say they don't also find Penny and put an end to this? And what if you're wrong? Penny's the only leverage Lila has.
What if the minute she sees those flashing red-and blue lights on her wall she's dialing out to some accomplice who puts Penny on a bus to Mexico? Yeah, maybe my love for my daughter has made me stupid but Lila doesn't seem to have that problem so I'm gonna jump through any hoop I have to to get face-to-face to my little girl.
What if Lila's lying to you? What if she doesn't have Penny? Well, then, I guess I'm a chump but at least I'm not a chump just sitting around here, doing nothing.
Poor Emerson.
We can't just sit here.
We've gotta do something.
Quit gawking at each other.
Let's go.
Across town, a signal was set Emerson? - as Olive came in from the cold.
Are you in here? I heard about what's happened.
Who are you? Did you hang the lantern in the window? - Who are you? - I hung the lantern, bitch.
We need to talk.
Sit tight, sister.
You're in the jam now.
I should've skedaddled when I had the chance.
Emerson always was a sucker for a tricky dame.
The reason your tricks work is he thinks you have him by the collar.
I was ready to leave him for not showing his cards.
The card he was stuck holding was the lying queen of empty hearts.
I'm back to deal again.
Then deal.
You've got the gun.
Penny's a bluff.
Two-bit grifter wouldn't get saddled with a child.
My guess is you ditched her a long time ago.
When you ran out of money, you came back for the Dam Ruby and rubbed Stingwell out.
Witch.
I'm sorry, am I playing too? No, I'm not.
Continue.
I did come back to see Stingwell, and he thought I was there to kill him but we talked it out, and I gave him back his money.
Every dime I stole when I ran away.
So we're to believe that somehow along the way you suddenly grew a conscience? I did grow a conscience.
She's sitting in a hotel room watching television and eating string cheese.
She has my eyes and Emerson's big heart.
That's so sweet.
And evil.
Right? The gun! Watch it! Aah! Oh.
I got it.
I got the gun.
Oh.
Shoot.
Looking for this? I suppose you're right.
Emerson is still a sucker for a tricky dame.
Get her! - Nice job.
Well played.
- Thank you.
- Did you get her? - She was in a big rush.
See if you can follow them.
I need to find Emerson.
This is much more fun than dinner and a movie.
- It's so exciting.
Yeah, I know.
Lila Robinson had often found herself on the run from a tricky situation.
In her rush to disappear, however the player failed to realize she herself was being played by Chuck and the Pie-Maker.
Across town, the desperate investigator returned one last time in search of some dam evidence.
Looking for more pictures of your girlfriend, Cod? I think I found your angle.
Lila Robinson, a.
k.
a.
Emily Von Alistair.
This wasn't the first time she'd tried to steal from Stingwell.
She's been on the run from him for years.
- You got it all wrong, Puget.
- What I got wrong was you.
Thought you were wild-goosing me with a tip to throw us monkey suits off.
Maybe that's exactly what I did.
Maybe I got you hook, line and sinkered, wasting time while I pop the real perp.
Oh, come on, Puge.
All you got is proof she entered three hours before Stingwell disappeared.
Here she's going out, a half-hour after Stingwell's assistant saw our victim for the last time.
That's motive and opportunity.
How she got the body where she got it? I'll just let the jury use their imaginations.
Thanks for the tip, Cod.
And don't worry.
If she's still within a hundred miles, we'll have her in custody by morning.
At that moment, Emerson Cod was overcome with the hundred percent certainty that he would never see his daughter again and then he was un-overcome by an idea that had a one percent chance of being correct.
Wait a minute.
Emerson.
Simone.
I knew you'd come back to the scene of the crime.
I'm sorry I bolted on you.
That's okay.
You're here now.
- Come on.
- As the private eye set off to test his new theory for leaks the tall drink of water driving into the darkness remained unaware of her hidden cargo.
If love does make you stupid, then we must really love Emerson.
Lt'll all be worth it if we find Penny.
- Ned? - Yeah? When I said that our love was hearty it was just another way of saying it's hard.
Not more than for other people.
Okay, maybe more than for other people.
If Emerson wasn't blinded by love, there would never have been a Penny.
He wouldn't have anything to lose, which would be so much easier.
Do you want us to be easier? Hmm.
I don't know.
Maybe it's the exhaust fumes.
But why do we love something if loving something makes us stupid and just have more to lose? Why love something? Because we can.
Oh.
Shh.
In my experience, when you're hiding in the trunk of a car it's best not to chat.
- How did you lose them? - They were three blocks away.
- I wasn't comfortable jumping the curb.
- They're okay, right? They have to be.
Yeah, yeah, after you disarmed that crazy-ass she-wolf.
Is it insensitive of me to say this is fun? Only if they're dead.
But they're fine.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
Can I be honest with you? If you could read my mind, and I'm really glad you can't but it doesn't matter, because I'm going to tell you anyway.
- When? - Now, now.
Oh.
You were right.
I did wanna use you to squeeze the feelings I had for Ned out of my head but I don't think that I can do that now.
Well, I like you, Olive.
I like spending time with you.
Well, that's the problem.
I don't want this to make you muddle-headed so you make a bad decision.
I've been through a lot, Randy.
I'm gonna be difficult.
I know it's stupid for me to be the rebound guy but I also think, with time you might forget you ever bounced.
At least, I'm willing to take that chance.
Well, if we're careful, and there's a way to do it smart we could do it without hurting - How was that? - That was brilliant.
It's brilliant.
Whoo.
Um I For the first time in a very long time, the thoughts I had for Ned just went right out of my head and are standing right outside the door.
Oh.
- Clearing.
- Crossing.
- What happened? - Lila took our clothes.
She left us at the side of the road.
We have to find Emerson.
Randy, can you bring your car around, and we'll get dressed and meet you? Let's go.
Why are these flowers glowing in the dark? Yeah, I knew it.
These flowers are from Michael Brunt's farm.
Delivered the same day that Stingwell was murdered.
Are they meant to do that? Where's Brunt's flower farm? - Here.
Uh-huh.
We know Stingwell is about to approve a renovation for the water pipes from the dam reservoir to the city.
Help me with this.
Now, maybe I'm crazy, but if pipes need renovating It probably means they're leaky.
Leaky pipes means Water.
Or, in this case, glow-in-the-dark water on account of the toy company dumping their chemicals.
Brunt's farm's right over the biggest, leakiest water pipe in Papen County.
Say Brunt gets wind that Stingwell's about to replace all the old pipes and he's gonna lose his free water and everything else so he delivers the flowers himself.
He wants to talk.
Lila said she and Stingwell had it out.
She said he thought she came to kill him for the ruby.
Mm-hm.
Now he overhears this, and he has the perfect plan to solve all his problems and steal the Dam Ruby for himself.
But what about the pictures of Lila leaving the dam just after Stingwell was murdered? Follow me.
So end of the day, Stingwell takes the Dam Ruby says goodbye to his assistant, leaves out the side door.
He's walking up the pipe, and he hears a noise so he decides to investigate.
Be careful.
All right, now Brunt had three whole hours to get ready for this moment.
Now, he would've been waiting but in order to pull off the perfect crime, he would This is nuts.
I'm fooling myself.
- It's Lila.
- I know it is.
She did it.
She killed Stingwell.
This is a crazy idea.
No, it's Lila.
No, it ain't.
I knew it was you.
Good guess.
- Too bad no one will ever know.
- Why'd you come back? Stingwell hid the Dam Ruby somewhere in here before I did him in.
One more visit as murderous fugitive Lila Robinson should do the trick.
See you later, suckers! Hey.
Aah.
Ahh.
Looks like he went the wrong way.
I disagree.
Yaah! Oh, God! Hey.
I think I just figured out how Stingwell ended up half a mile away from here.
He didn't have you.
The facts were these: Cornered by Brunt, but thinking it was Lila Roland Stingwell decided his precious ruby should remain at the Papen County Dam, where he'd found it.
As he considered the power of the hydroelectric plant he had designed Stingwell was struck by the irony, then by the water.
Aah! After flushing Stingwell, still disguised as Lila Brunt had allowed the photo booth to document his exit.
After attempting to flush Emerson and Simone, Brunt left the same way.
This time, it was Brunt who was flushed out.
Murder solved and ruby recovered, Amelia Stingwell informed the PI that his previous sins were now washed away.
Emerson Cod would profit from the trickle-down.
The terms of the meeting in the woods were simple: Come alone, no police, and no surprises.
While Emerson and Lila had complied easily with terms A and B there were still two surprises yet to come.
- Well? - A deal's a deal, Emerson.
Penny's waiting in the car.
I guess you two can catch up.
And thank you.
No one else could've done what you did.
No one else would've been stupid enough to even try.
This is a crazy life you got going on here, Lila.
The kid deserves some normalcy.
You'd be shocked how normal her life is.
School, homework, braces.
She has braces? Mm-hm.
My life may not always be on the straight and narrow, but Penny's is.
Emerson Cod looked into the eyes that had lied to him so many times before and decided they were lying to him again.
Well, I don't just wanna see Penny for 10 minutes, Lila.
I'm taking her.
My turn to be her parent now.
- Surprise.
- Leave us be, and I'll do what I can to get the cops to drop the kidnapping charges.
Otherwise Well, shoot.
Ain't no otherwise.
I thought you may want something like this.
Well, don't worry.
I'll take good care of her.
I know.
I just don't know how I'm going to take care of myself anymore.
I'm broke now.
Car's on its last legs.
Well, take mine.
- No.
- No, go ahead, take it, take it.
Penny and I'll find something else.
I always could count on your big heart.
Maybe I was a fool to leave you.
People do stupid things when they're in love.
Surprise.
His car disabled and Lila getting away Emerson realized he'd been tricked again but Penny was alive and perhaps, judging from her wide smile full of braces she was with a mother who maybe even loved her as much as he did.
One way or another, he would find Penny.
"Dear Mr.
Cod, congratulations.
" And now, with the news that his pop-up book, Lil' Gum Shoe had been accepted by a publisher and was going to press maybe it was only a matter of time before Penny found him.
He is in big trouble.
For this was his sixth visit in ten days to the principal's office.
The previous Tuesday had seen Young Emerson punch future frat boy and current lunch-money extorter Guy Baxter.
Wednesday saw the return of Young Emerson to the big couch for the crime of inappropriate double entendre at the science fair.
He returned the following Monday after a second encounter with Guy Baxter.
Young Emerson assured everyone that he would leave Guy alone now as the bully had no more eyes.
Specialists were summoned, tests given, therapies administered.
A boy of above-average intelligence who, previously had nothing but respect for rules and regulations Young Emerson 's mischief remained an utter mystery.
Because what troubled him was not parental alienation or sublimated anger.
It was a heart.
He was in love with Principal Eleanor Swindle.
That year, Young Emerson learned his most important lesson.
Love makes you stupid.
Randy Mann, what brings you in out of the cold? I think we're in for a mid-winter thaw.
Heh.
Normally, I can see my breath from under the sheets which is daunting, because I sleep in the nude.
But as long as I cocoon myself in my comforter and Ha.
Can I help you with that? I'll be okay if there's a satisfying point to this story.
Oh, I couldn't see my breath this morning.
Oh.
And I'm looking for Olive.
- Now we're talking.
Olive.
Yeah? You have a gentleman caller come in out of the thaw.
Whatidy-what what? Randy.
Hi.
- Hi.
- I need to Go.
Oh.
- Randy's back.
To see Olive.
In an l- was-nowhere-near-your-neighborhood l- thought-I'd-stop-by kind of way.
Look, it's so sweet.
I'm happy.
Heh.
Olive's been through a tough patch I may have made tougher.
And by "may have" I mean did.
I want this to work out with Randy.
What better place to nurture romance than The Pie Hole? Warmth, pie, snuggly booths.
Heh.
All the right ingredients.
Love doesn't need the right ingredients.
It's heartier than that.
- Heh-heh.
- What? You said love was heartier.
Well, it is heartier.
I mean, we're like those blind fish that live in volcanoes at the bottom of the ocean.
Only we're two fish that can't even touch.
Because normally, fish are all over each other.
Our love has grown and survived in spite of everything we've been through.
- We have been through a lot.
- And here is to us.
For successfully navigating some extremely rough and very complicated seas.
And here's to Randy and Olive.
May they have smooth sailing ahead.
Cheers.
What are we toasting to? You and Why is Randy leaving? Just decided to call it quits.
Too much, too soon.
Actually, it was just me.
Singular.
So, more accurately, I'd say it was me who decided to call it quit.
You know what, I'll be in the kitchen rationalizing my panic attack.
Man overboard.
Randy, you know when people are nervous, sometimes it's easy to misunderstand what they mean.
Yeah.
I mean, everything was going fine, and then suddenly she said goodbye.
And, "Thanks for coming.
" Then she shook my hand.
Which was weird.
It's been hard for Olive.
She's been through a swamp of emotions.
She She doesn't want to get stuck again.
Well, I know all about her getting stuck on Ned.
- She said she was over it.
- It's scary starting something new.
It's about exposing your heart to a stranger.
And putting your faith in the idea of someone before you get to know the truth about who they really are.
You know what it's like? It's like driving a car blindfolded.
You just have to relax.
- Relax? - Relax? Maybe bullfighting is the wrong comparison.
But it's hard making these things work.
You're telling me these things are hard to make work? I know that because you taught me.
Maybe that's why Randy's scary to you.
You're not used to something easy and maybe really great.
- Oh, my God.
I'm that girl.
That girl in high school who's afraid of relationships so she's always attracted to guys in college or Canada.
Or you.
I just want you to be happy, Olive.
So, what you're saying is, I shouldn't run away from Randy.
- Yes.
- That Randy might be just what I need.
- Yes.
- Quick fling.
To rub ointment on the burns from us and then rip off and toss away like used gauze.
- Not yes.
- He's Randy Rebound.
No, he's not.
As the Pie-Maker began to doubt his plan to reunite the would-be lovers a mile to the west, another reunion was taking place.
Simone Hundin, breeder of well-heeled dogs Stay.
returned from the Merryweather Multi-city Canine Cavalcade with her dog, Bubblegum.
Without constant reinforcement, even the best training gets forgotten.
You take off like that again, I just may forget we got something going on.
No such luck.
You should know, neither Bubblegum nor I are prone to bolting.
Well, that's good.
That's very good.
Sounds like there's a story.
There was a story.
Emerson had once fallen for a woman who had bolted and taken their baby daughter to boot.
- Does it have to do with this? - Emerson had written a pop-up book about his missing daughter in hopes that, one day, he would get it published.
And she would read it and come find him.
It's nothing.
I realize what we have is still in the paper-training phase.
But we did agree to be honest.
- I am being hon - I like you.
I'm intensely optimistic about our prospects.
But know that, like any animal in a new situation the thing I hate most is being surprised.
Forgive me, but your door was ajar.
Because it was ajar doesn't change the fact that it was a door before.
Which would indicate to most people to a-knock before a-entering.
How are you, Emerson? Simone, this is Ms.
Amelia Stingwell, sister of Roland "Rollie" Stingwell owner of the Papen County Dam.
I'd tell you more about her, except for due to various reasons we haven't spoken in nine years.
Those various reasons are dead now.
Rollie was killed last night.
I'm sorry about your loss.
He'd pop a vein if he knew I were here asking you to solve his murder but you've always been the best in town.
Whoever killed Rollie must have also taken the Dam Ruby.
It's gone.
The damn ruby? The D-A-M, drop the "N," Ruby.
As in a very valuable, precious stone dug up when they built the dam.
He always had it with him.
Never took it off.
You find that ruby, and you'll find Rollie's killer.
After everything that happened all those years ago, Emerson I'd say it was the least that you could do.
Good day.
What happened between you and Rollie? It's nothing.
The facts were these: Roland "Rollie" Stingwell, millionaire builder of the Papen County Dam and sole director of the Papen County Water & Power department was last seen getting ready to leave after a busy day at the office.
His assistant said nothing seemed unusual, as she said: Good night, Mr.
Stingwell.
And headed out early for a dinner engagement.
What engagements engaged Rollie Stingwell in the following hours were not known until the next morning when his body was discovered in a dry riverbed one-half mile from the dam.
- Hey.
- Thanks for coming down.
Ugh.
The poor man and his poor head.
Just think of him like an owl.
- Who? Ha.
That was funny.
He said, "Who?" Like an owl.
How is it going, Rollie? Of all people, I did not expect to see you here, Emerson Cod.
- You know each other? - We're affiliates.
- Affiliated with a common third party.
- There was nothing common about her.
And you know it.
He stole away the love of my life.
And the daffy thing about it is, I paid him to do it.
- I trusted you, Cod.
Hey, you got your money back.
And it ain't stealing if the thing wants to be stolen.
I have questions.
Which I will wait to ask.
Strange.
I spent my life being angry about this.
But now, here in A limbo-y non-denominational way station? The anger has gone and I can see I spent my life living in a haze of a broken heart.
I don't mean to step on toes, but shouldn't someone ask him who did it? - Shh.
- I have tamed nature.
I have stopped rivers from flowing, but there is one thing I could never do.
And that was make that woman love me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, Stingwell, neither could I.
It does make me feel better.
- Who killed you, Stingwell? - You really wanna know? It was Lila Robinson herself.
I assume she came back to steal the ruby.
Oh, man, I wish you'd have said anyone else.
Thank you for your time.
Who the heck is Lila Robinson? She's the baby-mama that took my daughter.
How can you not tell me that you had a daughter? We've buried bodies together.
I mean, you have a daughter.
A daughter.
Have you known and you didn't tell me? You know you ain't fooling nobody, right? Huh? I know that every secret I tell you spends about 20 seconds being secret before it spills out of your mouth and into dead girl's ears.
- Now, that is not true.
- It's true.
It's true.
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
What about Simone? Does she know? I'll take that as a no.
Much as I'd love to ruminate about my painful past over a slice of pie can we find something else to chatter about? Emerson shouldn't feel any pressure to divulge the hidden details of his past.
It's not like we've ever shared big secrets with him.
Mm-hm.
- It's complicated.
What is so complicated about finding your baby-stealing baby-mama and getting your daughter back? If Lila killed Roland Stingwell and stole that Dam Ruby we've been hired to track her down and find your daughter.
Chuck's right.
We should trace Stingwell's last steps.
Maybe Lila left a trail behind.
I've spent the last seven years tracking down her and my kid.
Lila is a wily genius.
A man-eating, shape-shifting grifter who knows how to get in and get out and vanish like heat off a blacktop.
At least we could try.
We need to try.
Maybe I could give it one more shot.
I don't know your daughter's name.
Penny.
My daughter's name is Penny.
The facts were these: Nine years, two months, Rollie Stingwell hired the PI to tail his fiancée Ms.
Emily Von Alistair, who Rollie suspected was having an affair.
The affair, however, was with a dead man one Henry David Thoreau.
And her furtive trips away seemed to show only her desire for a moment of solitude and ornithology to avoid the hubbub of wedding planning.
But hiding from a bird-watcher in a Lincoln Continental is not easy.
And so, Emily Von Alistair began sharing her daily solitude as well as her sandwich and Thermos of tomato soup.
While unconventional, Emerson reasoned he was still very much keeping an eye on Emily.
With each passing Thermos, the private investigator grew more blind to the fact that he was fast approaching the thin line between stakeout and make out.
Emerson hesitated, knowing it was wrong.
But Emily had a solution, and that was to tell the truth.
Emerson? There's something I need to tell you I should probably keep to myself.
Okay.
Emerson Cod would discover that Emily was Lila Robinson a grifter come to town to steal Stingwell's Dam Ruby.
She did not love the millionaire at all.
Twenty-two days later, the PI returned the money Stingwell had paid him.
What he could not return was his client's fiancée or the new life growing inside her.
Furious, Stingwell swore if the grifter ever grifted again he'd make sure she got put away for good.
Lila promised to keep on the straight and narrow while Stingwell went on to build Papen County Water & Power into a juggernaut.
If we're gonna find Lila, we need to retrace Stingwell's steps.
Figure out how he ended up half a mile away.
Welcome to Papen County Dam, source of Papen County's Water & Power.
My name is Taylor Philbean, and, should you take a tour of this historic landmark and working utility, I'll be your dam guide.
When there's a big group, this is where I wait for the laugh to die.
We're invited guests of the Stingwell family here on account of Roland Stingwell's untimely death.
Damn sad is what it is.
Wait here, I'll get some visitor passes and take you up to his private office.
Lila chose to leave behind her life of crime.
What happened? People's nature is like a river.
You can only keep it dammed for so long.
Lila packed up her bags and broke into Stingwell's looking for the Dam Ruby.
When she couldn't find that, she stole 50 grand in cash.
Knowing Stingwell'd track her down, she took Penny and they disappeared.
If you'll follow me.
But you knew who Lila was.
Did you really not see it coming? - Well, I guess I was just blinded.
Say cheese.
Hey.
This camera take pictures of every visitor? For security reasons.
Should you be planning to blow up the dam and flood the valley, one copy is kept on file and another is available for purchase as a keepsake in our gift shop.
Hmm.
- This way.
Have you seen this woman before? Name's Lila Robinson.
That was taken as she was entering the building the day your boss was killed.
I remember the woman.
She did have a private meeting with Mr.
Stingwell but I believe she said her name was Marybeth Acres.
The police have already been here asking questions.
- They ask you about Marybeth? - No.
They were asking about the multimillion-dollar contracts that Mr.
Stingwell was negotiating to replace all the old pipes that bring water into the city.
I'd say the police are on the wrong track.
I agree.
I tried to tell them my theory, but they weren't interested.
I'm interested.
Well, I caught a local factory dumping toxic chemicals into the dam reservoir.
You blew the whistle? You go, girl.
Well, it's my duty as a citizen to watch the reservoir.
One drop of certain mind-altering drugs and we'll all be zombies under the control of those secret signals on FM radio.
- Oh, brother.
- It's a public-health issue.
Yeah, yeah.
What's this door? That's Mr.
Stingwell's private exit.
It leads back through the inside of the dam to a private stairwell.
Oh.
Do you care that I have important information? We do.
We wanna hear all about your theory.
Come on, woman.
Give me something.
Who you talking to, Cod? - Detective Puget.
Been a while.
Figured the Stingwells would hire a private peeper on this one.
Never did like a cop they couldn't buy.
You know, being cocky in a cheap suit's less effective than you think, Puget.
What about Papen County's finest? They got leads? Who didn't wanna knock off Stingwell? You got valuable re-piping contracts up for grabs a hundred angry farmers who had to cough up dough for water because he dammed up their river.
Not to mention a ruby that he flaunted like a trophy wife at a high school reunion.
Oh.
Well, maybe I got a lead for you.
Maybe the only lead you need to follow.
Name's Lila Robinson.
Last known address was local, but she's been on the fly for a while.
Never known you to share, Cod.
What's your angle? Maybe I wouldn't mind help bringing down the hammer of justice.
Doesn't matter if the hammer's public or private.
Long as the nail gets hit.
Catch my drift? I do not.
Catch the bitch.
Use everything you got, move quickly.
I guaran-dam-tee you, she's moving fast.
And the trail's getting cold.
Simone.
How'd you get in here? - Something I've got to tell you.
- Something I gotta tell you too.
I hate to tell you now because it looks like I'm telling you because I have to.
Not because I want to.
That book on my desk Emerson, may I go first? - Sure.
- I'm sorry.
What are you sorry about? Long time, no see, honey.
Lila.
Lila.
- Lila? Told me her name's Priscilla Saltpeter.
Said she'd shoot me if I let on she was here.
She's told a lot of people a lot of things.
You here to see a dead man about a ruby? I'm in town to see you.
You really should lock your office door.
No telling what kind of riffraff'll blow in.
Where's Penny? Penny's somewhere you can't find her.
But I'll make you a deal.
I didn't kill Stingwell or steal his Dam Ruby.
Soon as the cops find out I was there, they'll be all over me like weevils on rice.
Maybe they know already.
Then your job just got significantly harder.
Find the real killer.
Put me in the clear, and I'll let you see Penny.
Hang a red lantern in your office window, and I'll arrange for a reunion.
But the moment I get a whiff that the cops are closing in on me you won't see me or your Penny again.
- Who's Penny? - Penny's the price I paid for thinking with my heart and not my head.
Penny is my daughter.
That's what I was just about to tell you.
Surprise.
- I'll give you 48 hours.
- She's lying.
It's in her eyes.
She's lied so damn much in her life, her eyes look like that permanently.
What's to stop me from taking that toy gun of yours and pushing your frame through my wall? X ylazine.
Come again? Wait.
It was what? It was horse tranquilizer.
When we woke up, Emerson made sure I was okay and left.
Said he was gonna start with the farmers and find the killer.
But we know who the real killer is.
The dead man told us so.
Insofar as a dead man could tell us, by way of some very strong leads acquired in a normal and straightforward way.
If Lila has Penny, she holds all the cards.
We don't even know for sure if Lila has his daughter.
She could be lying about that too.
She's playing him.
Dominating his will until he's no longer listening to his instincts.
Do you really think he's interviewing suspects he knows are innocent? Following leads he knows lead nowhere? He wouldn't do that.
That's not who he is.
But what if who he is isn't who he is right now? Instead of analyzing, we should be helping him.
Doesn't matter how crazy it seems.
If helping Emerson means we blind ourselves to the truth I won't be part of it.
When someone backs you into a corner, you don't get obedient.
You bite back.
Simone, wait.
All I asked from him was that we start out with honesty and no surprises.
I would say this qualifies as a surprise.
Should I go? - Thank you for coming back, Randy.
- Oh, sure.
First off, I just wanna say I'm sorry if it feels like I'm sending mixed signals.
Well, I guess I was a little surprised.
Signals are like nuts.
Mixed is better.
Who wants all the same kind, right? And what's important is that we have a fresh start.
- Right.
Can I ask you a question? - Mm-hm.
You're not just planning on using me to get over Ned, are you? No, no.
Sometimes things are so absurd that I can't even hear them.
Like you just blew a dog whistle full of crazy and I'm not a dog.
Well, I get that.
If you're not ready, I get that.
But, you know, I've been through this before.
Aah-aah-aah.
And I don't wanna be your rebound guy.
Wait.
There it is again.
Nothing.
Is this a bad time to talk? I just wanted to say I think Randy's gonna do the trick.
Wiping the emotional slate clean.
He's picking me up after work.
- That's great, Olive.
- See? I'll be the one lost in some "distracty" thought, not caring, while you prattle on.
I'm sorry.
I do care, and I am distracty.
Olive, I have a question.
Can love make you do something absolutely crazy? I went to a nunnery.
- Have a great time tonight.
- Yeah, I'll do that.
If Emerson's desperate enough not to see the truth he's desperate enough to do anything.
- He needs us.
- Let's go.
It was the end of a long day and Emerson, Chuck and the Pie-Maker had interviewed 28 disgruntled farmers concluding that none were guilty of the murder of Roland Stingwell but as Lila had told Emerson if he proved her innocence he could see his daughter again.
They moved on to farmer number 29.
Mr.
Brunt, you had 200 acres of riverfront farmland before they built the dam.
My farm used to be the most prosperous in the county.
Now with what I pay to truck in water, I can barely pay the rent same as everybody else, but what else would I do? - Now, when is your birthday, precious? - December.
Hmm.
I would've bet an autumn birthday.
The deep orange of orchid embers and Asiatic lilies makes your skin glow.
Actually, I have two birthdays.
My second one's in the fall so actually, you're right.
Your gibberish is sweet, honey.
Keep the flowers.
- Oh, no, I'm telling the truth.
- No, so am I.
If I'd killed Stingwell, I would've done it years ago when my anger was fresh-cut, but nothing's gonna change.
Whoever has the water has the power.
What about the contracts to re-pipe the county water supply? Might be some bad blood there.
Stingwell would've been behind the plan but the mayor would be in charge of the construction.
There's no motive.
We got nothing.
- What about the big polluter angle? - Don't humor me.
If you didn't think we were out of leads and I was high on Lila-berry juice then what would you call the big polluter angle? I may call it that crazy conspiracy theory by Stingwell's crazy assistant.
Or the last-ditch crackpot angle for short, but it's something.
Well, it's all we got left and we're running out of time.
We appreciate you coming to talk to us on such short notice.
We're investigating the death of Roland Stingwell.
There was a legal dispute between Stingwell and your clients, the Fits and Giggles Novelty Company.
We know Mr.
Stingwell was about to make public that one of your client's factories was disposing chemicals into the dam reservoir.
- These are baseless allegations.
Our client did not ever dispose of any chemicals into the reservoir.
This is a categorical denial.
- Maybe once.
- One time only.
Once, we may have inadvertently allowed a small amount of chemicals into the reservoir.
- But it was a long time ago.
- It was Tuesday.
Very, very early Tuesday.
Nearly Monday.
What kind of lawyers are you? Mennonites, which would not be a liability were it not for our personal commitment not to lie.
In regards to the chemicals that were or were not - Were.
- Dumped in the reservoir at an indeterminate time - Two a.
m.
-ish.
- Two thirty-nine.
- There was a spill.
And that's the truth.
Our plastics division had an overflow but it was only the chemicals we use to make things glow in the dark which are nearly identical to drinking water.
With chemicals in it.
We will pay the fine to the appropriate authorities.
- They're polluters, but they're no killers.
- Every road's a dead end.
Except one road, but we can't go down that road.
No, we can't.
The police are gonna go down that road.
Let's say they find Lila.
What's to say they don't also find Penny and put an end to this? And what if you're wrong? Penny's the only leverage Lila has.
What if the minute she sees those flashing red-and blue lights on her wall she's dialing out to some accomplice who puts Penny on a bus to Mexico? Yeah, maybe my love for my daughter has made me stupid but Lila doesn't seem to have that problem so I'm gonna jump through any hoop I have to to get face-to-face to my little girl.
What if Lila's lying to you? What if she doesn't have Penny? Well, then, I guess I'm a chump but at least I'm not a chump just sitting around here, doing nothing.
Poor Emerson.
We can't just sit here.
We've gotta do something.
Quit gawking at each other.
Let's go.
Across town, a signal was set Emerson? - as Olive came in from the cold.
Are you in here? I heard about what's happened.
Who are you? Did you hang the lantern in the window? - Who are you? - I hung the lantern, bitch.
We need to talk.
Sit tight, sister.
You're in the jam now.
I should've skedaddled when I had the chance.
Emerson always was a sucker for a tricky dame.
The reason your tricks work is he thinks you have him by the collar.
I was ready to leave him for not showing his cards.
The card he was stuck holding was the lying queen of empty hearts.
I'm back to deal again.
Then deal.
You've got the gun.
Penny's a bluff.
Two-bit grifter wouldn't get saddled with a child.
My guess is you ditched her a long time ago.
When you ran out of money, you came back for the Dam Ruby and rubbed Stingwell out.
Witch.
I'm sorry, am I playing too? No, I'm not.
Continue.
I did come back to see Stingwell, and he thought I was there to kill him but we talked it out, and I gave him back his money.
Every dime I stole when I ran away.
So we're to believe that somehow along the way you suddenly grew a conscience? I did grow a conscience.
She's sitting in a hotel room watching television and eating string cheese.
She has my eyes and Emerson's big heart.
That's so sweet.
And evil.
Right? The gun! Watch it! Aah! Oh.
I got it.
I got the gun.
Oh.
Shoot.
Looking for this? I suppose you're right.
Emerson is still a sucker for a tricky dame.
Get her! - Nice job.
Well played.
- Thank you.
- Did you get her? - She was in a big rush.
See if you can follow them.
I need to find Emerson.
This is much more fun than dinner and a movie.
- It's so exciting.
Yeah, I know.
Lila Robinson had often found herself on the run from a tricky situation.
In her rush to disappear, however the player failed to realize she herself was being played by Chuck and the Pie-Maker.
Across town, the desperate investigator returned one last time in search of some dam evidence.
Looking for more pictures of your girlfriend, Cod? I think I found your angle.
Lila Robinson, a.
k.
a.
Emily Von Alistair.
This wasn't the first time she'd tried to steal from Stingwell.
She's been on the run from him for years.
- You got it all wrong, Puget.
- What I got wrong was you.
Thought you were wild-goosing me with a tip to throw us monkey suits off.
Maybe that's exactly what I did.
Maybe I got you hook, line and sinkered, wasting time while I pop the real perp.
Oh, come on, Puge.
All you got is proof she entered three hours before Stingwell disappeared.
Here she's going out, a half-hour after Stingwell's assistant saw our victim for the last time.
That's motive and opportunity.
How she got the body where she got it? I'll just let the jury use their imaginations.
Thanks for the tip, Cod.
And don't worry.
If she's still within a hundred miles, we'll have her in custody by morning.
At that moment, Emerson Cod was overcome with the hundred percent certainty that he would never see his daughter again and then he was un-overcome by an idea that had a one percent chance of being correct.
Wait a minute.
Emerson.
Simone.
I knew you'd come back to the scene of the crime.
I'm sorry I bolted on you.
That's okay.
You're here now.
- Come on.
- As the private eye set off to test his new theory for leaks the tall drink of water driving into the darkness remained unaware of her hidden cargo.
If love does make you stupid, then we must really love Emerson.
Lt'll all be worth it if we find Penny.
- Ned? - Yeah? When I said that our love was hearty it was just another way of saying it's hard.
Not more than for other people.
Okay, maybe more than for other people.
If Emerson wasn't blinded by love, there would never have been a Penny.
He wouldn't have anything to lose, which would be so much easier.
Do you want us to be easier? Hmm.
I don't know.
Maybe it's the exhaust fumes.
But why do we love something if loving something makes us stupid and just have more to lose? Why love something? Because we can.
Oh.
Shh.
In my experience, when you're hiding in the trunk of a car it's best not to chat.
- How did you lose them? - They were three blocks away.
- I wasn't comfortable jumping the curb.
- They're okay, right? They have to be.
Yeah, yeah, after you disarmed that crazy-ass she-wolf.
Is it insensitive of me to say this is fun? Only if they're dead.
But they're fine.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
Can I be honest with you? If you could read my mind, and I'm really glad you can't but it doesn't matter, because I'm going to tell you anyway.
- When? - Now, now.
Oh.
You were right.
I did wanna use you to squeeze the feelings I had for Ned out of my head but I don't think that I can do that now.
Well, I like you, Olive.
I like spending time with you.
Well, that's the problem.
I don't want this to make you muddle-headed so you make a bad decision.
I've been through a lot, Randy.
I'm gonna be difficult.
I know it's stupid for me to be the rebound guy but I also think, with time you might forget you ever bounced.
At least, I'm willing to take that chance.
Well, if we're careful, and there's a way to do it smart we could do it without hurting - How was that? - That was brilliant.
It's brilliant.
Whoo.
Um I For the first time in a very long time, the thoughts I had for Ned just went right out of my head and are standing right outside the door.
Oh.
- Clearing.
- Crossing.
- What happened? - Lila took our clothes.
She left us at the side of the road.
We have to find Emerson.
Randy, can you bring your car around, and we'll get dressed and meet you? Let's go.
Why are these flowers glowing in the dark? Yeah, I knew it.
These flowers are from Michael Brunt's farm.
Delivered the same day that Stingwell was murdered.
Are they meant to do that? Where's Brunt's flower farm? - Here.
Uh-huh.
We know Stingwell is about to approve a renovation for the water pipes from the dam reservoir to the city.
Help me with this.
Now, maybe I'm crazy, but if pipes need renovating It probably means they're leaky.
Leaky pipes means Water.
Or, in this case, glow-in-the-dark water on account of the toy company dumping their chemicals.
Brunt's farm's right over the biggest, leakiest water pipe in Papen County.
Say Brunt gets wind that Stingwell's about to replace all the old pipes and he's gonna lose his free water and everything else so he delivers the flowers himself.
He wants to talk.
Lila said she and Stingwell had it out.
She said he thought she came to kill him for the ruby.
Mm-hm.
Now he overhears this, and he has the perfect plan to solve all his problems and steal the Dam Ruby for himself.
But what about the pictures of Lila leaving the dam just after Stingwell was murdered? Follow me.
So end of the day, Stingwell takes the Dam Ruby says goodbye to his assistant, leaves out the side door.
He's walking up the pipe, and he hears a noise so he decides to investigate.
Be careful.
All right, now Brunt had three whole hours to get ready for this moment.
Now, he would've been waiting but in order to pull off the perfect crime, he would This is nuts.
I'm fooling myself.
- It's Lila.
- I know it is.
She did it.
She killed Stingwell.
This is a crazy idea.
No, it's Lila.
No, it ain't.
I knew it was you.
Good guess.
- Too bad no one will ever know.
- Why'd you come back? Stingwell hid the Dam Ruby somewhere in here before I did him in.
One more visit as murderous fugitive Lila Robinson should do the trick.
See you later, suckers! Hey.
Aah.
Ahh.
Looks like he went the wrong way.
I disagree.
Yaah! Oh, God! Hey.
I think I just figured out how Stingwell ended up half a mile away from here.
He didn't have you.
The facts were these: Cornered by Brunt, but thinking it was Lila Roland Stingwell decided his precious ruby should remain at the Papen County Dam, where he'd found it.
As he considered the power of the hydroelectric plant he had designed Stingwell was struck by the irony, then by the water.
Aah! After flushing Stingwell, still disguised as Lila Brunt had allowed the photo booth to document his exit.
After attempting to flush Emerson and Simone, Brunt left the same way.
This time, it was Brunt who was flushed out.
Murder solved and ruby recovered, Amelia Stingwell informed the PI that his previous sins were now washed away.
Emerson Cod would profit from the trickle-down.
The terms of the meeting in the woods were simple: Come alone, no police, and no surprises.
While Emerson and Lila had complied easily with terms A and B there were still two surprises yet to come.
- Well? - A deal's a deal, Emerson.
Penny's waiting in the car.
I guess you two can catch up.
And thank you.
No one else could've done what you did.
No one else would've been stupid enough to even try.
This is a crazy life you got going on here, Lila.
The kid deserves some normalcy.
You'd be shocked how normal her life is.
School, homework, braces.
She has braces? Mm-hm.
My life may not always be on the straight and narrow, but Penny's is.
Emerson Cod looked into the eyes that had lied to him so many times before and decided they were lying to him again.
Well, I don't just wanna see Penny for 10 minutes, Lila.
I'm taking her.
My turn to be her parent now.
- Surprise.
- Leave us be, and I'll do what I can to get the cops to drop the kidnapping charges.
Otherwise Well, shoot.
Ain't no otherwise.
I thought you may want something like this.
Well, don't worry.
I'll take good care of her.
I know.
I just don't know how I'm going to take care of myself anymore.
I'm broke now.
Car's on its last legs.
Well, take mine.
- No.
- No, go ahead, take it, take it.
Penny and I'll find something else.
I always could count on your big heart.
Maybe I was a fool to leave you.
People do stupid things when they're in love.
Surprise.
His car disabled and Lila getting away Emerson realized he'd been tricked again but Penny was alive and perhaps, judging from her wide smile full of braces she was with a mother who maybe even loved her as much as he did.
One way or another, he would find Penny.
"Dear Mr.
Cod, congratulations.
" And now, with the news that his pop-up book, Lil' Gum Shoe had been accepted by a publisher and was going to press maybe it was only a matter of time before Penny found him.