Robin Hood s02e12 Episode Script

Quick! This way! Come on! - Girl in distress.
- What distress? Go! - What is this? - The girl is a pig.
The pig is your present.
This is a party.
- Happy birthday! - Yeah! Why here? Why not in the forest? Oh, there's gratitude for you.
'Cause it's a surprise! And besides, this way, the people of Nettlestone can join us and you know, say thank you.
Speaking of which, where is everyone? George? They couldn't make it.
And neither can I.
They couldn't make it? This is Robin Hood's birthday.
- Where are they? George? - Sorry.
Sorry? What for? Oh, Much.
Thank you! - Happy birthday, Robin Hood! - Who's that? - That's Ellingham.
- The Sheriff sends his best.
- The leader of the Sheriff's mercenaries.
- Not to mention his best men.
Much Sorry! Will, Djaq, I need numbers.
Oh, I'm gonna die.
Not because of them but because of shame! - Much, nobody's gonna die.
- Why didn't I have it in the forest? In the forest.
Not in the village where we can be betrayed! And surrounded.
Nettlestone is getting nothing this winter! Much! Shut up! - Do you have a plan? - No.
- Half a plan? - I don't have half a plan! - How many, Djaq? - 30, 40.
Hey! More on that side.
A hundred.
They're coming! Barricade the door.
No, wait! I've got this.
Guards! Hood! Hood! Hood! Hood! I'm sorry, Robin.
This was meant for your birthday.
Much, Will, open the door.
- What's that? - A pig? - Ha! Ha! - Black powder, Djaq? I thought I told you I never wanted to see that again.
I disobeyed you.
Good.
Have you got any more? None.
There's more where that came from, Ellingham! We've got enough black powder here to destroy a whole army! You're bluffing! Get a message to the Sheriff.
- Well, that should buy us some time.
- Yeah.
We need to think.
There are five of us and a hundred of them.
Once, a few determined Spartans held a pass against a vast Persian army.
- Really? - Strategy.
And they lived? No.
- But they did well.
- Oh.
I hate that story, too.
Come in.
Today is the 14th of October.
- Robin Hood's birthday.
- It is.
It is? Marian apart from your escapades as the Nightwatchman, is there anything else that you'd like to tell me? No.
Good.
Right, well, I came to tell you that I'm going away.
- Away? Where? - I cannot say.
But when I return things will be different.
Better.
For me.
Better for us.
- Guy, what's going on? - I will not be here to supervise you.
I must have your assurance that the Nightwatchman is finished.
Yes.
Yes, but where are you going? Marian do I have your word? You have my word.
Are we going to kill them? Yes! - Are we going to like it? - Yes! - Are we going to kill them? - Yes! - Are we going to like it? - Yes! - Are we going to kill them? - Yes! Horrible.
- Are we going to like it? - Yes! Don't take any notice.
Are we going to kill them? All they're trying to do is mess with our heads.
They're playing for time.
See if there's any water in those barrels.
- If there is, fill those buckets.
- Why? In case they try to burn us out.
- Are we going to like it? - Yes! Thought so.
Are we going to kill them? Yes! Oh, we're going to love it! Keep an eye on that bag, yeah? Your boy is ready? - Looks like it.
- And he knows where we're going? - I told him Portsmouth.
That's it.
- Good.
My lord, the mercenaries.
Are you sure we shouldn't bring them? With any luck, by now they'll be celebrating Hood's birthday.
No.
We'll do this alone.
Quietly.
- Well, have they told you why? - We're going to Portsmouth.
That's all I know, Marian.
And you didn't get that from me.
- You know what this means? - No.
The King.
They must be expecting the King to land in Portsmouth.
- It could mean anything for all I know.
- That's not good enough, Allan! Now, what if it is the King? You know full well what they'll do to him when he arrives.
It's not my call.
I'm just the whipping boy around here.
The packing boy.
Look, if you go along with treason, then you are committing treason.
Rubbish.
If you go along with farting, doesn't mean you've farted yourself, does it? What's happened to you? I've learnt which side my bread's buttered on.
Robin? Robin? Where are you? I need to stop the Sheriff.
Come along, get a move on, you blithering oaf! I haven't got all day! Gently! Move! Tanning cream, bottles of.
Ah! Ah.
News from Nettlestone? Nice? Nasty? Both? Small problem.
Exploding fire? What do you mean, exploding fire? - Black powder.
- Yes, I know what it is.
We want permission to burn down the barn.
They'll be toast.
Are you deaf? I told you, I want Robin Hood's pretty little face on his pretty little head, attached to his pretty little body, on a pretty big spike outside my castle! Then, what do we do? He's got food in there for a week.
I don't care what you do! I don't care how long it takes! Bring me Hood's body on a spike! Right.
John, Will, Djaq.
Everyone.
- Get ready to run.
- Much, what are you doing? I'm the one who's got us into this situation.
I'll get us out of it.
I'm gonna take a chance.
I'll go out the front, I'll pretend to negotiate, I'll distract them, you make good your escape.
If I die - remember me fondly.
- Much - Stop! - What are you doing? Don't shoot! Don't shoot! I'm unarmed.
I'm here to surrender and negotiate.
Thank you.
Horrible people.
Revolting.
Allan I can't find Robin.
I wouldn't worry about it.
This trip's just me, Gis and the Sheriff.
Serious.
No soldiers, no mercenaries.
I don't think it's the King, Marian.
Yes, well, I do.
I'm going to stop it.
- How? - I don't know.
- I'll kill the Sheriff if I have to.
- What? Hey have you forgotten what happens if the Sheriff dies? No.
Prince John's armies will raze Nottingham to the ground.
Yeah.
So leave it.
But if the King is in the south, then that's where Prince John's men will be.
- Nottingham will be safe.
- That's a lot of assumptions there.
And if I prevent the Sheriff from killing the King, then that's the King back on the throne.
That's the end of Prince John.
The end of the Black Knights and the end of their threats.
You wanna save England single-handedly? No, but I can't find Robin! Gisborne and the Sheriff are ready to leave now.
There's no time for this.
Would you please help me? - Sorry, you're out of your depth.
- No, I'm sorry.
You underestimate me.
Allan! My lords! Wonderful news My lords! Glorious news.
We the Black Knights, stand on the verge of greatness.
We did not wait for Mohammed to come to the mountain, no.
We took the mountain to Mohammed! We did not wait for the King to land Mistake, missy.
Big mistake.
Oh, we've got time, Hood.
All the time in the world.
Us, too! Would you like some more roast hog while you're waiting? I don't understand.
What kind of soldiers are these? They're not doing anything.
Mercenaries.
They fight for money.
Not passion.
That is why they do not want to fight and die.
- So, you think they're just gonna wait? - Yep.
Looks like it.
And we can't escape from here.
They're just gonna wait until we come out.
And then kill us.
Not even a conversation.
You missed all the fun, Gisborne.
Your leper friend tried to kill me.
- Did you know about this? - I didn't know anything.
Why would he know anything about this? She knocked him out and took his sword.
- What? - Well, I wasn't expecting it, was I? Or it wouldn't have happened.
Yeah, she's good.
I'm better, though.
"She's good but I'm better.
" That means you knew she was capable of this.
- You knew, too, didn't you? - My lord, please, I can explain.
Well, you better had explain.
Because she just made an attempt on my life! I recently discovered that Marian was the Nightwatchman.
What? And you didn't tell me? I believed Marian's days as the Nightwatchman were over! - I believed I had dealt with it! - By tricking me? By faking her escape? Who was it who ran away? Look, I was just following orders.
- I gave the orders.
- Why? I thought Marian's charitable instincts were misguided.
- I did not think they merited hanging.
- How very noble of you, dear boy.
Although I can't help thinking that maybe you wanted a little something in return.
Huh? A display of gratitude? - Oh, the Nightwatchman.
I'm impressed.
- Get off me.
Guards! Pack a trunk for Lady Marian.
She's coming with us.
- To the Holy Land? - Oh, yes.
Oh.
Oh, look.
Look, the look.
Mm? So eloquent.
"Oh, Guy, what's going to happen?" Well, we just don't know, do we, missy? Listen, Guy, Guy.
The Holy Land? Is this what I think it is? Are we killing the King? Part of the inner sanctum now, Allan.
You should be honored.
No, no, I am.
I am.
It's just the Holy Land? This is the ultimate mission and carries with it the ultimate prize - absolute power.
- Well, yeah, for you and the Sheriff.
- And you.
Allan, your loyalty will be rewarded in land and title, I'll see to that.
- Really? - Really.
What, you mean You mean like a lordship or something? Now what? This is driving me mad! Why don't they just come in here and kill us? 'Cause there's no incentive, Much.
Every hour that goes by, we become more fearful more tired more likely to take foolish action.
- The foolish action was bringing us here.
- I've said I'm sorry! - Well, that's not good enough.
- Oh, you've never made a mistake.
- I'm not saying anything.
- What? I'm not saying anything.
You brought the Sheriff to our camp! You showed him where we lived! I was trying to feed the poor! That's what we used to do! What's this all about? Feeding your fat face! - Fat face? Look who's talking! - Shut up! The pair of you.
This is exactly what they want us to do.
Fighting amongst ourselves and save them the trouble.
Don't give them the satisfaction! - In fact I think we need to relax.
- Relax? I don't know why I didn't think of this before.
It's my birthday.
Let's celebrate, let's eat.
- I haven't got a fat face.
- Fat face.
Badger beard.
- Are you seriously going to the Holy Land? - Yes.
Yes.
I've never been before.
Have you? They say the weather's wonderful.
Guy's been before.
Haven't you, Gizzy? You've been before? Then it's true.
You tried to kill the King.
What? Feel betrayed? Are you going to try and kill the King again? Yes.
Mm.
And you could say that it's Robin Hood's fault.
You see, Robin did warn the King to be on his guard when he lands.
So, first plan, mercenaries in the port, dead in the water.
The new plan - instead of waiting for him, we er we pay him a little visit.
Mohammed not coming to the mountain? Mm.
Indeed.
Shall I use that? Hm? Quite good.
Are you listening, Robin Hood? Be careful.
Thought you might like some apple with your pork.
Enjoy your meal.
Oh, and just to let you know, we won't be troubling you tonight.
Or tomorrow.
We're gonna starve you out of here.
Well, you'd better come back next Tuesday, then! We've got enough food and water to last a week here.
A week? Is that all you can last? What a shame.
Sheriff's paying us by the day.
Ah.
You're a funny man.
Do us a favor.
Next time bring some mustard, as well, will you? Ooh! - We don't have water for a week.
- I know that.
- What are we gonna do? - Do you think they're bluffing? It doesn't matter.
Either way, we're beaten.
Well, one thing's for certain - we can't just sit here and eat pork.
But I've got a proposal.
If they don't come to us, we go to them.
- When? - First light.
- There's too many.
- We'll die.
It's suicide.
A good day to die.
Will you just shut up? Why does he always say that? - Don't even know what it means! - We'll almost certainly die.
- But at least we'll die fighting.
- Yeah, I'm in.
- Me, too.
- Yes.
- And me.
- Good.
Good.
Then tonight is a Kalila and Dimna night.
What? You don't have Kalila and Dimna? Surprisingly not.
Kalila and Dimna night, you remember for your whole life.
You speak only the truth.
You must ask all your questions, share all your dreams, confess all your secrets.
- It's just talking? - Yes.
But it's real talking.
And if you're too boring, someone shouts "Kalila" and you lose your turn.
You start.
- Oh, no.
- You can just talk.
You like talking.
I know I do, but Well, not like this.
Fine.
Then I'll start.
- How many beds are you after? - Three.
And you? With the horses? No, no.
No.
This one.
You'd better not sleep tonight.
Robin Hood will find out what you're doing and he will come and he will stop you.
It's erm It's Robin Hood's birthday today.
Did you know that? He's having a party in Nettlestone village.
And somebody's invited And they've erm They've got him surrounded.
So So Robin Hood is no more.
Hm? Well sleep tight.
Oh, and don't let the horseflies bite.
Allan.
Allan! - You can't go through with this.
- I can.
You heard him, Marian.
Robin's finished.
- Not if we get away! - Shh! We'll go back to Nottingham.
We have to help him.
- Allan! - Coming.
So I admire you.
All of you.
You are good men.
Brave generous, kind, decent men.
And I love you.
All of you.
- I am proud to be amongst you.
- Is this what this is? - Everyone saying they love each other? - Wait.
And you're filthy and you really stink and you have no souls.
- We all live in the forest.
- I have to be honest! I have to be honest.
And if I am being honest I have to say that I do not love all of you in the same way.
It's me, isn't it? You love everyone but you don't love me.
Brilliant.
There is one I do love more than the others.
The way a bird would fly 2,000 miles through storms just to be with the one he loves.
That is the love I feel.
And I am a fool.
Because it is only now, when we are about to die that I have the courage to admit it even to myself.
I'm sorry.
I should have said earlier.
Will.
I knew it.
You, Will Scarlett, are strong and true and you fight for what you believe in.
And that's why I love you.
And I love you.
I love the way you say what you mean.
- I love your silly voice.
- Silly voice? That's it.
I take it back, all of it.
I hate you.
And I love the way you fight.
Like a man.
Ferocious.
And the way you will always always be a woman.
Kalimna.
Boring.
- Kalila.
- Whatever.
Can I trust you? Yeah, of course.
- Tell me - Tell you what? Robin Hood and Marian.
What about them? They're still Aren't they? Even if they were, he's finished now, all right? That's not an answer, Allan.
I need to know.
# Dee dum doo day # What's this? Kissing in the moonlight? Huh? Shall I go out, come back in again? What do you think? - Go to bed.
- Yeah.
John? - No.
- John, come on.
Who do you love? You.
All of you.
Even him.
I love you all.
All right? And Alice.
I shouldn't have let her go.
And my boy.
Little Little John.
I should have made them stay.
- John, you didn't have a choice.
- Let me speak.
Leaving Alice running to the forest It was wrong.
Wrong.
That's why I'm a huge, ugly, - stupid, useless coward! - John.
That's why I'm always saying it, Much.
"Today is a good day to die.
" Because, for me, it is! I deserve to die.
I left the people that loved me, the two people that should have depended on me.
My own child! Wh Oh, God! What was I thinking? John I'll not let you talk like this.
- I'm going now.
I won't wait till tomorrow.
- John Let's move this cart.
Move this thing! I need to die! I want to die! Let me die! - Let me die! Let me die! - John! I want to die now! Is this normal, this Kalimna thing? 'Cause it's weird! Robin sorry about that.
- Look, I'm not doing this.
- Fine.
Good.
Because I don't hate myself and I'm not in love with anyone else, so - Fine.
- Fine.
Well, there's nothing to say, then.
What? - What? - You're smiling.
I'm smiling because usually it's a struggle to shut you up.
You think I talk too much.
Well, I know that's what you think.
Much talks too much.
And eats too much.
Worries too much.
It's easy for you to say because if I don't do it, then who does? It's all right for you.
You can just breeze through life and be everyone's hero and not worry about the simple things like the fire or the food or the hole in your cape or your birthday! 'Cause good old dependable old Much will take care of that.
Well, I tell you something.
You take me for granted.
- You're sniggering at me now.
- Much, I'm just You shouldn't! And I'm angry! And just because I love you doesn't mean I can't hate you, too.
And I hate you.
Because in the Holy Land there was two of us and we were a team and the things we went through and the horrors we saw Went through them together! And when we came home we were like brothers.
Brothers in arms.
And where is that now? Hey? It's gone! That's where.
You never talk.
You just don't.
And you made me a freeman and we're meant to be equals.
We're not equals.
The only thing that's changed is you still treat me like a servant, you don't treat me like your friend.
That's not true.
Is it true? Oh, Kalila.
Well, they're not coming tonight, that's for sure.
We'll make a plan for the morning.
Allan.
- Thank you.
- I can't kill the King.
Go.
Go quickly.
What about you, though? You've crossed the Sheriff now.
Look, I'll be fine.
Go.
Save Robin.
Go.
Who's there? I heard voices.
We stay tight up until this point.
And then we divide.
Is everybody clear? - Show me.
- I go here.
Will and I here.
And then you switch positions and you cover from the back.
And after that? Much, I don't think there's going to be an after that.
Yeah.
I know.
First light.
Nearly dawn.
This is it.
This is really it.
Forget what I said.
I don't want you to die remembering me that way.
Hey I'll remember you as my loyal friend.
Right, let's get the weapons ready.
As soon as there's light to see by, we go.
No.
- No.
- John, we agreed this! You have not spoken, Robin.
It's your turn.
We have a few moments left on this earth.
Let me have my thoughts to myself.
I'll share them with you in the next life.
Robin, if there is a heaven, yours is different from mine.
- What if there isn't a heaven? - It's almost light.
Robin.
You know my thoughts.
They are for the poor.
They are for you.
And they're for Marian.
The woman I love.
The woman who recently I gave a ring to.
You are engaged? The woman who makes me believe that, by a twist of fate, we might just be able to see this through.
And, Much, I have betrayed your friendship.
But I think you know why.
You see, I can't face the terrors we saw.
I can't.
Because I'm not as strong as you.
I have to put them out of my mind because if I don't then I wouldn't be able to lead.
I mean, I wouldn't even be able to What? - It doesn't matter.
- Be able to shoot.
Shoot? Course he can shoot.
No.
No, John's right.
In the Holy Land, the men we saw in bits and screaming Every time I raise my bow, I see them.
I hear them.
And I know now, whether it was right or wrong, what we did in the Holy Land, it makes no difference.
So I have to try not to kill.
I have to avoid killing.
I mean, God gave me a gift with bow.
I can kill with my eyes closed.
I mean, I can kill a man from a thousand yards.
And I have to try everything in my power not to.
And that's why I wasn't there for you in your hour of need, my friend.
Because I have to let those memories go.
I just have to be free.
Why didn't you say? It doesn't matter now.
In a few moments we'll be free forever.
Well Here's to freedom.
Here's to the poor.
Here's to the good people we leave behind.
We are Robin Hood.
We are Robin Hood.
Thank you, my friends.
I should have let you look after me, Guy.
I should have let you.
I'm your boy.
I'm nothing without you.
Right from the very beginning, I should have let you look after me.
Shh Shh - Oh! - Shush! Shh! Shh.
Guy, don't be too disappointed.
- What? - Your boy, Allan.
He doesn't love you any more.
He's run away, he's lost his nerve.
- I'll find him.
- No.
No, no.
Let him go.
We don't need him.
Hm? It's better this way.
Just us.
What do you think, John? A good day? Oh, yes.
A good day.
Morning.
Allan A Dale.
Gisborne's man.
I'm looking for Ellingham.
- That's me.
- Sheriff sent me down on an errand.
Wants me to take the outlaws back to him at the castle.
- All right? - Oh, no.
Sheriff says they're to stay in there till they rot - or till they come out to be shot.
- He's changed his mind.
Why? It turns out they might have some information he needs.
I think it's probably you know, Black Knight stuff.
You'd be paid in full, obviously.
Aye.
- Godspeed till we meet again.
- See you in heaven, my friends.
Excuse me, gents.
Coming through.
Thank you.
Right, let's move out.
Move out! - Move it out, come on.
- Move out! - Are we ready? - Yes.
One two - Allan.
- What? Allan A Dale.
Open up! I'm here on behalf of the Sheriff.
- Let him in.
- Kill him! John, calm down.
Oh, thank God.
- What do you want? What do you want? - Listen! We haven't got time to talk now.
I've spun 'em a yarn.
- We've got to get out of here before - We? We? I'm with you.
Trust me.
I've been an idiot.
I'm sorry.
But we've got work to do.
The Sheriff and Gisborne are going to the Holy Land.
- The Holy Land? - They're on a boat from Portsmouth.
They're going to kill the King.
Right, we need to get out of here.
Now.
Sea air, Gisborne.
Sea air.
Oh Oh, well, come along.
Give Gizzy a little kiss.
No? Oh.
Onward, driver.
Let's go and kill a King, shall we? It's all right, it's all right.
They're coming quietly.
Show's over.
Er one thing, actually.
I've got to get this rabble back to the castle somehow, so Sure.
The Sheriff wants to talk to the outlaws in the castle.
- Yeah.
- Well, that's strange, that.
Because a little birdie told me that the Sheriff left the castle yesterday.
You're joking.
Did he? Nice try.
Get them! You got no chance! You're gonna die! We are gonna die! But not today! Come on! She's with me.
- Good to have you back.
- Good to be back.
I told you you were going to die! Like we said not today.
Come on, men! Get them! Get them! Come on! What are you waiting for? They're getting away! - To the camp? - There's no time.
- There's something I haven't told you.
- What? - The Sheriff has got Marian.
- What? She wanted to save the King.
She couldn't find you, so she tried to kill the Sheriff and got caught.
Allan's right.
We haven't got time.
We go to the coast.
Now! I'm coming, my love.
I'm coming.