The Batman (2004) s02e12 Episode Script

Pizza.
Sounds like a plan.
Lee n' Cavalo's.
Hi, I'd like a veggie pizza.
I have a coupon.
For a free soda.
We'll be there in 30 seconds or your pizza is free.
Don't you mean 30 min Pizza delivery.
Joker.
Here's your pizza! And as promised, the soda is free.
The costume worn onstage by the first ever Pagliacci.
Worth its weight in gold thread, would you not say, Mr.
Wayne? Professor Strange, right? - Hugo Strange.
- Call me Bruce.
Congratulations, by the way.
Chief of psychiatry at Arkharn.
My promotion, yes, yes.
Thank you, thank you.
But I'm equally excited about my project with your Wayne Industries.
I'm afraid I'm not quite up to speed on the particulars.
Oh, it's a revolutionary device which will truly open doors to the criminally insane mind.
A subject which I find endlessly fascinating, Bruce.
Oh, my.
It's the Joker! Let's get out of here.
Just what I've always wanted fancy pants.
An escaped patient on the loose? - Doc? - I'm a tad embarrassed, Bruce.
Bruce? Well, what a coinkeedink.
I've been wanting to discuss the Arkham diet with you.
Too many nuts.
Fascinating.
Like watching two sides of the same coin.
I never pegged you for an opera buff, Joker.
As any opera buff will tell you, It ain't over till the fat lady sings.
Or, in this case, my lovely diva, Detective Yin.
Yin, do you read me? Detective Yin.
Where am I? What? Joker, let me out.
Joker! Joker! Let me out of here! Talk, Joker! Well, you see, I've always wanted to stage my own opera.
All I needed was the right suit and a leading lady.
You look like you could really hit the low notes.
- Wanna sing backup? - Where is she? Somewhere in a box, set to spring ree in eight hours with a really big pop.
That is, unless you let me waltz out of here.
I don't negotiate with psychos.
As I tried to explain, Chief Rojas Joker will never voluntarily divulge Detective Yin's whereabouts.
Never.
At least, not in time to save her.
Head shrinker in the house.
So, what do you suggest, professor? I have developed a device that allows its user to tap directly into a patient's mind like a two-way radio transmission.
You gotta be kidding me.
Hardly.
The technology is untested and therefore risky but I am willing to volunteer.
And what makes you so sure Joker will be willing to cooperate? Another voice in my head? The more the merrier.
If clown-boy likes it, I don't.
What alternative do we have to save Detective Yin? Set it up.
Sir? It's the Wayne Industries prototype of Strange's device.
Fully operational, I take it? Professor Strange may mean well but I think the Batman's had more field experience with Joker.
We use Batwave to jack into Arkham's server where we piggyback Strange's frequency.
And enter Joker's crazed cranium where you shall somehow uncover Yin's location.
- Somehow.
- lf I may say, sir this is positively daft.
You could be risking your own sanity.
System's ready.
You may begin.
Proceed.
I already have, professor.
Well, then you've done something wrong.
I'll check it myself.
Well, this isn't my machine.
Welcome to my head.
It works.
I'm inside your mind.
That's right, egghead.
And if you think you can find where I'm hiding Detective Yin step right up and explore the insanity.
Three shows nightly.
Joker's childhood.
The inevitable key to his mental state.
Little boy, come here.
I have questions to ask of you.
He didn't even ask about Yin-in-the-box.
What's with that? I've captured the frequency, Master Bruce.
Send me in.
Gotham? Joker's Gotham.
Egad, a Batman in my belfry.
Where are you keeping Yin? Howling at the moon, eh? I thought I was the crazy one.
Tell me where she is, Joker, or I'll see to it you never leave Arkham.
Make yourself at home, Batty.
Just watch out for the loose screws.
You better bolt.
Run! Run! - Psych! - What Mom said.
Enough mind games, Joker.
Tell me where you have Yin hidden.
Now.
I'll never talk.
Joker won't consciously talk.
I need to ply his subconscious mind for clues.
But where? Joker's idea factory.
Y for “Yin“ ? No, Y for “yucks.
“ Let me guess.
- You're looking for the detective.
- You're The only shadow of his former self left in this crazy place.
It's my day job.
What I really want is to make people laugh.
Where is she? That's top secret.
You don't know what he'd do to me.
Her life depends on it.
Wrong department.
You want Current Schemes.
Around the corner to your Now, what did we discuss about giving away family secrets? Water's warm, Batman.
Dive in.
Current schemes.
Better hurry, Batman.
Yin's running out of time.
And how did you cope with this lack of attention from your parents? The Batman? How did you manage to get here? I'm the only one with the means of I'm searching for Detective Yin, like yourself.
You're putting yourself at great risk.
Clearly you possess a deep-rooted need to rescue.
Focus, professor.
Yin's running out of time.
A very strong need.
Could it stern from a past trauma? Perhaps someone you once failed to rescue? This is an outrage.
In my head, I'm the headliner.
I demand to be center stage.
So analyze this! So you're a shrink.
Tell me, why do I cross the road? It's showtime.
Joker said he wanted to stage his own opera.
Oh, Batman! Help me! Help me! I'm trapped, but I don't know where, and my time's running out.
I'm coming, Yinnie.
That's gotta hurt.
Your need to rescue is so dominant, Batman that failure is bound to make you cuckoo.
Cuckoo, cuckoo.
Enough, Joker.
Where's Yin? I said where's Yin? You're dancing in a hornets' nest, fella.
How many jokers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wouldn't know.
They're too busy loosening Batman's screws.
Save me, Batman.
His brain-wave activity is growing frenetic.
Oh, dear.
He's going mad.
Master Bruce.
Master Bruce.
Master Bruce, please snap out of it.
You must come out of there at once.
I won't fail.
There's no point in resisting, Batman.
In my brain, I pull the stings.
You may control your mind, Joker, but I won't let you control mine.
Tell me where you're keeping her.
Nope, I'm not singing.
Can't make me.
I'll make you sing if I have to turn your mind inside out! If you really want to get inside my head, Batman I'll take you so far in you'll never find your way out.
Batman, is that you? Detective Yin.
Why didn't you save me, Batman? Welcome to my world.
You're finally where you belong: Arkham ! A pity you went through all that trouble to get here, Batman because now you're in deep, and there's no way out.
Strange referred to this as a two-way transmission.
Just need to find the way out.
It's over? I hate abrupt endings.
- Was she there? - Yes, she certainly was.
- No, it can't be! - Thank you, professor.
I understand you saved my life.
No.
You couldn't have found her.
I did not sing! No, not consciously.
But while your mind was preoccupied with the Batman I was able to glean the truth from your subconscious.
All you did was sing.
All those sad clowns, the arias.
You had opera on the brain.
Well, duh.
You pulled Yin out from under the Gotham Symphony Hall stage, didn't you? Wait a minute.
Thanks for that.
What? Where are we? In my mind.
Master Bruce? Are you of sound mind? I know where he's keeping Yin.
It's showtime! - Ten, nine, eight - Somebody, please.
seven, six, five, four three, two.
So, what took you? It's been a crazy night.
The tears of a clown.
The rage behind the minor.
Tonight, I merely glimpsed Joker's peculiar form of madness.
So many more roads to cross.
Before I can get to the other side.