The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e12 Episode Script

1
The truth is I like Saiki
Saiki!
Please wait!
Oh!
Kokomi Teruhashi?
I can't believe this!
Didn't you say I was better?
Saiki! Please wait!
I almost peed myself.
It's the same dream again.
I guess I can't win against her.
But I can't back down!
I'm going to tell him how I feel.
That way, I'll beat her!
And for that reason
Bye, sir!
-Class isn't finished yet!
-It's lunch break!
Year two, class three.
Today, I'll get him!
Is Saiki here?
-He just
-So rude.
-left with his lunch.
-She's cute, so it's okay.
No way. I ran here as fast as I could.
Is he cursed? Like he's not allowed to be
in the classroom for break or he'll die?
Good grief. I used my telepathy
to know you were coming.
It's been a while
since I had lunch in the restroom.
I have to take measures to stop her.
I've been using my telepathy
to turn myself into the person
she hates the most,
but it doesn't seem to be working.
I'm having enough trouble with Teruhashi.
I can't handle both.
I've had enough of romance.
I need to end this soon.
I have to submit my thesis, too.
AFTER SCHOOL
KUSUO SAIKI
Yes! He hasn't gone home yet.
Good thing, I took a running stance
in front
-of the door during homeroom.
-Homeroom isn't over yet.
I'll ambush him here.
He'll definitely pass by.
I won't move an inch until he does.
He's here! That was quick!
Is he ignoring me?
Maybe he just didn't realize.
He's going to pass up the opportunity
for happiness.
But I won't let him get away this time.
I'll make him happier than he's ever been!
-Saiki
-Got you!
You can't leave me behind.
-What?
-Hey. Pat me on the head.
-He's got a girlfriend? Really? No way!
-I love you.
I'm trying my same plan as before.
The guy she's competing with Teruhashi
over already has a girlfriend.
She may like me, but it's mostly
a competition with Teruhashi.
Even if she gets her hands on me,
it wouldn't matter.
I'm getting Aiura to help me.
-Hey, kiss me. She doesn't believe us.
-Yes, she does. Get off me.
Let's go.
You're so nice to pick me
to pretend to be your girlfriend.
I'm just trying to solve my problem.
It's not for you.
Saiki! Is that your girlfriend?
I didn't expect her to ask me that.
What? Can't you see?
We're a couple in love.
Since you're dating,
does that mean you've had it?
-What's this?
-What are you saying?
We're lovers, so of course we've had it.
Oh wow! So you two have it
and did it already, right?
Yes. We do it all the time.
Everyone's does stuff like it nowadays.
I don't know what they're talking about,
but that's enough.
-After all that, maybe I should give up.
-That talk reminds me of it.
-Let's go have it.
-Go bleep yourself.
I don't feel jealousy, hate, or anything.
I guess I don't like him after all.
Looks like it went well.
He talked about it so much
that I almost threw up from disdain.
I didn't say a word about that.
Then what is this strange feeling
I have inside me?
Oh, no! The final boss is here!
This might get worse.
-What should I do?
-Should we keep this up?
Will this work against her?
I'll just have to roll with it.
-Over here!
-Imu!
-Long time no see.
-Yes.
-What's this?
-I don't know.
-Are you on your way home?
-Ask the girl who shoved us here.
-Why did I cover for them?
-Yes, I'll be leaving soon too.
-Because she would be sad if she saw?
-Let's go home together.
She smells so good.
When she's this close, I
No! That's crazy!
If you think everything is fine,
you're mistaken!
Teruhashi, do you like Saiki?
If she admits that she likes him,
I'll open the door and show her.
-I'll make you cry your eyes out!
-He's right here!
Yes.
I've never really liked a boy before,
so I'm not sure,
but I think I do.
Why? Was it love at first sight?
No. I was the opposite.
AURA
At first, I didn't like
how he was never attracted to me.
I was so angry with him that I couldn't
-stop thinking about him.
-I see. I get it now.
Teruhashi! I love you!
-I'll never beat her beauty and kindness.
-What's going on, Imu?
I'm so hopeless! I love her!
-I felt such anger
-What's the matter?
-because Saiki didn't choose Teruhashi,
-Hold on a second.
but now I'm so relieved
you weren't taken from me.
I'm rooting for you!
I want you to be happy!
-What is she talking about?
-What's gotten into you?
-Looks like things have gotten worse.
-It's nothing. Let's go home together.
Kokomi! Let's have lunch together!
-Seems like they are best friends now.
-Really? What a combo.
They're so hot,
average idols mean nothing to me.
Teruhashi was already 100% beautiful.
But with the two of them together,
that adds up to 120% of beauty.
It's only gone up by 20%.
So, they're best friends now.
This is bad
I won't explain since it just happened
in the previous segment,
but she's a dangerous accomplice.
I know this is odd.
-Don't butt in like that. You scared me.
-Kokomi has given her heart to Saiki.
I want to do whatever I can
to make her happy.
-No! Wait! I can't give what she wants
-White and green asparagus are the same.
-because Saiki is a horrible guy!
-Come on, babe.
He's a pig who goes after
every girl he can.
Besides, his girl always wants to have it,
-and do all kinds of stuff.
-Let's do it.
He's such a sleaze ball!
-Kokomi is getting tricked.
-Are you free after school?
-I can't let her go out with Saiki.
-Yes. What do you want to do?
Should we go to a mixer?
I'll get everyone together!
-A mixer?
-This girl is
the best accomplice after all!
OK KARAOKE
-I don't think I can do this!
-We're already here! You can't leave now.
You need to try new things.
And I told you I'm interested in someone.
Yes, but there are so many
other good guys out there!
Also, these guys are handsome,
attractive, and good looking.
They're awesome!
They've got all three of those.
Those are all the same.
If you're too chicken, then leave!
Mixers are war!
Kokomi! Who is this?
She's Chiyo. She wanted to come too.
Let's talk about the strategy
before the men come!
-What about Kaido?
-Here you are.
One grand chocolate parfait.
A guy ordering a parfait alone? Weirdo.
So? What if I am?
I'm celebrating
that I have a wonderful accomplice.
A mixer? I don't think Teruhashi
would fall for some other guy so easily,
but there's a chance.
I'll have to do my part, too.
-From here, I can hear everything.
-Get ready, would you, Kokomi!
-Their voices and their thoughts.
-Be strong!
I got it. I can't win against you, guys.
Okay. Enough acting reluctant.
I wonder what they'll be like.
She's pretty darn sharp.
-It's all up to the guys now.
-What room number?
-I'm counting on you.
First, I'm going to tell them
that I've never had a boyfriend before.
-Chiyo.
-They're here!
I can't believe
a fan stopped me downstairs.
-Wow! They're all so dreamy!
-You're late!
-They're okay.
-You're all pretty.
Wow! They're so cute!
And those uniforms mean
they're from the brainy Ten-Star Academy.
-They're top class! I'm so excited!
-I'll sit here.
Oh! What's your name?
-Oh! Nice to meet you.
-This isn't fun at all.
-Of course I'm ignored at a mixer
-Hey you guys!
-with Kokomi here.
-Introduce yourselves first.
Byakuya Amagi. Second year.
-I model sometimes.
-Wow. Amazing!
Kanemitsu Saionji.
I'm also a model, and the son of a CEO.
Even better! But he's awful stuck up!
Mitsuru Kongouchi.
I'm a model, I'm rich,
and I passed level two EIKEN English exam.
You didn't have to tell us about that too.
-I only remember model, rich, and English.
-Nice to meet you.
Now, it's our turn!
They already know about me.
Chiyo, you go first!
Okay! I'm Chiyo Yumehara.
I'm in my second year at PK Academy.
I like reading and baking!
She didn't get a good reaction.
Maybe they're nervous?
-It's still early.
-Nice to meet you.
I guess I'm next. I'm Kokomi Teruhashi.
-Wow, they're really into her!
-You have a boyfriend?
I want to leave.
Geez! Kokomi isn't the only one here!
Chiyo is here, too!
-Not interested.
-Imu.
I won't give Kokomi to a guy
who only cares about looks!
Unless you're kind
and nice to ugly girls,
you can't have her!
-I didn't mean that.
-I wish I were dead.
-We're leaving!
-Okay.
Chiyo Yumehara, you like reading
and baking, right?
And you said you've never had a boyfriend.
You seem so popular though.
We're sorry. We were complete jerks.
It's too late to apologize. Right, Chiyo?
What are you talking about? Have a seat!
-Let's start over, okay?
-We almost lost her.
Yes. That was close.
Good thing you remembered
what that girl said.
It suddenly came to me.
-How's that possible?
-It didn't just pop into your head.
I made you think of it.
If you want to take the general,
you must take down the horse first.
Okay. Let's do this.
-Shall I put the heater on?
-Thanks.
What should I sing?
-The sadness of my heart
-I love this song.
-Sumo Utopia!
-I love that joke.
This mixer is a lot more fun
than I expected.
Man, it's easy to move people's hearts.
But it would be better if Saiki were here.
Although if he were here,
he would just sit here
with a blank expression on his face.
Good grief. Teruhashi,
you're close, but not quite.
Surprisingly, that made me smile a little.
We're going to the bathroom.
Wow! This is so exciting!
-That girl is great.
-Who gets her?
Rock, paper, scissors! Huh? Who are you?
At any rate, I won't let
any of you have her.
I'll take them all home with me.
What's taking them so long?
-Hey.
-Yeah, what is that?
Yeah, what is that bulge?
A bump? It can't just be his clothes.
Is there a mushroom growing
out of his back?
That's too weird.
-It's gone!
-Where did it go?
He's awake.
What period is it?
Forget that. Your back
What?
Look at his crotch!
I can't believe this guy!
What's with you two?
What's this?
Is everyone jealous of how cute I am?
A hamster?
Don't scare us like that!
This little guy made it
into my clothes again.
Oh, Kusuo! How are you?
Good grief. So, you're still alive.
This is a strange animal
that I rescued from the wild.
A lot has happened,
but now he's Nendo's pet.
It's been a while, but you look well.
A while? What are you talking about?
You can't bring a hamster
to school like that.
I had no choice.
He's always following me.
-What? Always?
-Yes. You guys never noticed?
He was with us
when we were on that island.
Can't you ever leave his side?
Well, I tried to hide myself
as best as I could then.
If they found me,
they would have put me on the menu.
No one would eat you.
I think that weird girl was the only one
who knew I was there.
I didn't think I'd survive.
I guess there's always an exception.
However, I didn't notice you either.
Your body is too small
to be picked up by telepathy,
and I wasn't using my x-ray vision
on Nendo.
I'm surprised he hasn't gotten away
from you yet.
Of course. Koriki Two is clever.
Watch this.
He'll come back to me
if I put my hand out.
Oh, cool!
Wouldn't he do that to anyone
who puts their hand out?
Let's test it out and see who he goes to.
That will be easy.
I'll show you the special bond we have.
Hey! He came!
He went to Shun!
Well, I took care of him once.
Wow! Now he came to me!
You even lost to Aren,
and it's their first time meeting.
I guess animals favor the kind-hearted
-He came to me now. See?
-But you were last!
Or did you just take him out of my hand?
Look at your hands more closely.
He pooped!
You tried testing him. And he got angry.
Damn. I think he's smarter
than you are, Nendo.
You seem really attached.
Don't be stupid!
He takes care of me! What can I do?
Don't misunderstand.
What a tsundere.
That reminds me. You're a male, right?
What? Of course not. I'm a female.
Surely you knew you had
a pretty girl on your hands.
Biggest surprise of the day.
Crap! Next is gym class!
Get back! It's Nendo!
-Nendo. Stop!
-You're no match for me!
Why do we have to clean up?
Because we lost. That's why.
But we were winning most of the time.
If only this moron hadn't been able
to dunk it.
It was a good match-up.
You would've won if you had stopped us.
Why are you acting like it's my fault?
Huh? Koriki isn't here.
Didn't I tell you he'd run?
I put him here
because gym class is dangerous.
Hey! Where are you?
-Hey!
-Koriki Two!
I can't find him even with x-ray vision.
What was that?
-Here he is.
-What's wrong with you?
Sorry.
I can't believe you stayed on me
the whole time.
Hamsters don't like being alone.
-Let's go. Break time is almost over!
-That's so dumb!
-Good grief. What did I do?
-What's wrong?
The door won't open. Maybe it's locked.
What? We can't open it from in here?
It's no use.
Seems like we're stuck in here.
-Really?
-No worries.
-Okay. It's open.
-Hey! Open up!
Just open it normally.
-It's not budging.
-This isn't good.
-It's fine. Just open it.
-You're such idiots. It's easy.
We just need to have
Koriki Two open it for us.
Look over there.
-He could get through that.
-Do you mean
Yes! He can go get the keys
and open it for us from the outside.
He can't do that!
Whose hand is that?
Good grief. I guess I'll have to do it.
Wait, Kusuo. You stay out of this.
He nominated me to do it.
It's not about that. It's already open.
I'll run real fast and get the key!
Fine. I guess I'll help him
get to the staff room.
-What's a hamster doing here?
-You sure got caught fast.
Wait, you little rodent!
-I got carried away again!
-Hey! Damn. He ran in there.
Where's my key? Oh, it's open?
-Why are you here?
-We're saved!
However, bringing a hamster
to school made the coach furious.
On your mark, get set, go!
Satou, 7,14 seconds.
Yes! You did it, Satou!
You got the exact average
in all the categories.
-What's he so excited about?
-Who knows?
YEAR 2 - CLASS 4
What I witnessed was incredible.
It's such a waste that
no one has noticed this historic feat.
He probably hasn't even noticed himself.
I'll go tell him.
Congratulations, Satou!
Where did he go?
Oh, he's right there.
Hiroshi Satou is so ordinary,
I lost sight of him.
That's Hiroshi Satou.
The guy I respect the most in this school.
Why? Because he's average.
Not only in the physical test today,
but in academics, height, and weight too.
He's a shockingly average boy.
Class is about to start.
Where is he going?
This isn't normal at all.
The bathroom!
A normal destination!
I knew he was going to the bathroom,
but it's just normal.
Saiki, are you stalking again?
There you are, Mr. Abnormal.
Don't give me a weird name like that!
Shut up. You'll pass
your abnormality to me.
Oh, there he is.
Is he really that interesting?
Do you know how long Satou has been
in the bathroom?
No, of course not!
It's 5 minutes and 41 seconds.
That's precisely how long it takes
an adult male to do number two.
That is pretty interesting.
Also, the amount of toilet paper he used
is exactly average.
-You saw that? Well, don't do that!
-Yes.
This isn't good. Nendo will pass by Satou.
What an unexpected combination.
What will happen if those two meet?
Nothing unusual happened at all.
-I guess it's only natural.
-What a bore.
-I just thought of something funny.
-What are you doing?
DONK
-You idiot! What are you doing?
-Watch.
Did you throw this at me?
Oh, no! It's Nendo.
No. I wasn't me.
Don't lie to me! There's no one else here.
-How interesting.
-I didn't do it!
You! Well, I do actually want to see
how Satou will handle this.
-I'll just watch for a little bit.
-You were behind me, so it had to be you!
What am I going to do? What is that?
-What a butt chin!
-That's what startles you?
His haircut is weird, too. He's scary.
I guess I'm used to it,
so I don't notice it anymore.
That's a normal reaction.
Are you listening?
It really wasn't me. I'll prove it to you.
You were hit on the back right side
of your head, right?
But since I was on the back left side
I don't think I could have hit you
on the right side.
That's the normal way
to evade his accusation.
-Right? So I couldn't have
-That will settle it.
Don't make excuses!
I guess normal won't cut it.
It's Nendo after all.
-Oh, no.
-Wait.
Let's wait a bit longer.
But before you said
Satou is not finished yet.
He's got another idea.
There are only two ways
to get out of this situation.
One is to plead innocence and fight.
But there's the chance that a battle
with this blockhead will develop.
The other would be to apologize,
even if he's not guilty.
But considering Nendo's attitude,
things might get worse.
So, which is it going to be?
-I'm sorry.
-He's apologizing?
I'm sorry. I have to get to class
before it starts.
What?
He didn't choose either?
Hold on a second. His answer
seemed normal, but I was wrong.
To me, it was pretty normal.
Can't you see?
Since he neither apologized
nor defended himself,
it could be taken either way.
In other words,
with such an normal answer,
he was able to combine both.
He treaded the fine line perfectly!
What's with this visualization?
Class hasn't started yet!
-See? Nendo
-No, he's done.
-What?
-You see, actually,
class is about to start now.
What? The bell? Now?
-Wow! He won!
-Damn!
Even Nendo can't continue arguing now.
Wow. The normal guy won.
Satou, you're better than I thought.
AVERAGE GENIUS
He's an unmistakably average genius.
An average genius? What's that?
-That settles it.
-What?
I'm going to become his friend.
Seriously?
He's just an average kid,
so the people around him
should be average, too.
You don't think of yourself
as one of those average people, do you?
Using Satou as camouflage,
I'll blend into this school perfectly.
Even that expression isn't normal.
-See you. Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye
Isn't that What was his name again?
Saeki? Saiki?
What's he doing?
He's reading this week's Jump!
So, he reads Jump too.
And I've heard that music before.
That's ONE OK ROCK!
Wow! I love them!
So, he listens to them, too.
Peach tea! That's my favorite drink.
So, he drinks that, too.
Maybe I should talk to him.
-Yes! Come on.
-But we've never talked before,
and he's in another class and all.
Plus, reading Jump in a place like that
and drinking peach tea is kind of weird.
I'll go home and play games.
YEAR 2 - CLASS 3
My hair is getting long.
Mine too.
Then let's all get a haircut today.
I'm good.
-Hey.
-Nendo. Perfect timing.
You should get a haircut, too.
A haircut? Perfect.
My hair hasn't been cut in a while.
-It's too long!
-It's too long!
Welcome! Oh, Shun.
-Can you attend to my friends, too?
-Sure. I'd be glad to.
This is quite a fancy shop.
What? The one I usually go to
is fancier than this.
Any shop that lets you leave
looking like that can't be fancy.
What should we do
with your hair this time?
Make the top look messy
and the sides, well
Keep the sides messy, too?
Yes. Sounds good.
Do the same with the front, too.
So, it all looks messy.
The same as usual.
Yes. The usual.
Why didn't you just say so from the start?
How about you?
Well, let me see.
I guess just trim it a little.
But leave the hair
around the back of my neck
What?
You want me to leave it?
No, nothing. Just cut it.
-But you just said
-It's fine. Just cut it!
-You're making it difficult.
-Okay. You're next.
It's really long. What would you like?
The usual.
Sorry, but I don't know what the usual is.
What a pain.
First, leave the middle
and cut the rest short.
Then shave it to about seven centimeters.
Then completely shave a loop
around my head.
Sorry. I couldn't understand
your explanation.
Could you explain it again?
It's fine. Do whatever you want.
I'm pretty sure he understood perfectly.
How's this?
-Wow. It looks great!
-Wow. It looks great!
Aren, what a clean look!
You too! Yours is nice and messy!
They're the same as always.
Was it okay to cut the hair
around the back of your neck?
Yes, it's fine.
I'd like to hold
a memorial service for them.
Can I take them home?
What's with you and that hair?
Thanks for waiting, Saiki.
Where's Nendo?
He's not done yet?
Hey, Nendo!
Where is he?
-Hey.
-Who is that?
Wait a second. You're Nendo?
-Of course, I am.
-What's with your hair?
You gave up on your usual hairstyle?
I know this is a bit different,
but it's not so bad. How much?
I'm glad you like it.
It's 3,000 yen for the haircut.
I wonder what his usual hairstyle was.
STUDENT ID
My guess was right?
Wow, seriously? No way!
That's Nendo, right?
Isn't he like totally different?
Don't you think he's much cooler now?
-Yes, he's pretty good-looking.
-What? But that's Nendo!
I can't believe it.
Why is everyone looking at me funnily?
Don't get too cocky!
Quit acting like some big shot!
-What?
-Don't let it go to your head!
Before your score was like -30.
Now everyone is amazed
that you've jumped up by 50 points.
Don't forget that your score
is still just 20!
Oh, it's because of this?
That's why everyone is looking at me?
What should we do?
He's pretending like he doesn't notice.
That's impossible.
I was up all night last night thinking
about how people were going to react.
What's with you two?
Good grief. It's only temporary,
so just let it go.
Just don't get all cocky!
I'm not getting cocky!
-Hey, Nendo.
-Yes?
Did you change your hairstyle?
It looks great!
-Oh, really?
-See! You're getting cocky!
-Shut up! No, I'm not!
-Yes, you are!
They'll get tired of it soon!
I get it! They're giving me attention
because of my hair, right?
But hold on a second.
Didn't you two get haircuts, too?
Why aren't they paying
any attention to you?
I'll cut your head off!
What an idiot!
He's making fools of us.
That makes me so mad!
But are these happening
only because of his new hairstyle?
It's because his old hairstyle
was so horrendous.
No. I don't think it's only his hair.
Can't you see, Aren?
That scarf he's wearing
has been covering his chin!
Hey, we can't let this continue.
It's a shame to hide
such an important feature.
We're just going to have to expose him
in broad daylight.
-Right!
-Dang, you're desperate.
Look! Look at his chin!
Why did you take my scarf?
You think you'll still be popular now?
His popularity will be short-lived.
It's not so bad, right?
Yes. It's wild and sexy.
What?
A lot of hot foreign celebrities
have chins like that.
You can't put him
in the same category as those guys!
I shouldn't be on their side in this.
But I agree. That's pushing it.
More importantly, you're jerks
for poking fun at how people look!
You're so biased of others.
You should say something, Nendo!
She's right, Nendo
DIG DIG
Oh, maybe you should say something.
Hey, you guys.
You shouldn't make fun of people
for their abnormalities.
That ended quicker than I expected.
NEXT TIME
Kusuo! This is bad!
Mera's father is back.
Did you have a vision of next week?
Also, the comic I like,
Silent Cyborg, is in crisis.
And we save a spot in the park.
Kusuo won't pay attention to me,
so I'll just have to ambush him.
Subtitle translation by Andrew Tinkler