The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s02e12 Episode Script
The Taxing Trauma of the Treacherous Tattle Trials - Part 1
1 And here's an equation to find the most boring number in existence.
When school's almost out, what do you feel like doing? No more boring science tests 'Cause summer's here Let's flip some desks - School is over - End of the year Time for fun 'cause summer is here What are you guys doing? A big musical number.
No more green and chewy gravy We're surfin' to summer camp On a wavey 'Cause school's done What in the name of Yellowstone National Park are you two doing? School's not over for five days! We know.
This was just a dry run.
If we want the real thing to go smoothly, we gotta practice.
Sorry.
Too early.
- I'm allergic to confetti! - Confetti's just paper.
You're just paper! - Did he really just say that? - He did.
Now clean up this Oh, no.
A motorcycle.
That biker bounty hunter finally found me! - Nope, still part of our celebration.
- Too early.
Sweet jump, Reckless Randy! So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! But they had a mean, old principal Who told them what to - Blah, blah, blah, blah! - So they got a hypno-ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda, on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet - You're back where you began - Blah, blah, blah! Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-la Chapter 1: You Catch More Flies With Honey than Melvinegar.
This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and flattop.
Harold is on the right with the T-shirt and bad haircut.
Remember that now.
And that's Melvin.
He's about to do something he's never done say something nice to George and Harold.
Okay, here we go.
I I I I Come on! I wanted to congratulate you on becoming the top students at Melvin Sneedly Elementary and - Do you mind? - Sorry.
And for being accepted to Eliteanati Academy.
I'll admit, I didn't anticipate this.
Not in my worst nightmares! Get used to it, Sneedly.
- Hey, buddy.
- Well, we got life sentences, too! We're not going to Eliteanati.
Of course, if you If you were to decline the offer, I would be next in line.
And if I go, we'll never see each other again.
- And it's what we've always wanted.
- Right.
So we're not going.
Can you hear us? Should we talk louder? In summation, I just think that Wait, did you say you're not going? Give me those! - Yes! - Excellent.
We're on the same page.
- Why don't we put it in writing? - You got a pen? Now, just sign here, here.
Initial here and sign here.
And just sign here, here, here, and here.
And here, and here, and here, here, here.
And initial here and right here.
It's really for the best.
Let's be honest, you aren't smart enough for Eliteanati.
Hmm? Hmm You mind if we look this over? Take all the time you need.
Just give it to me in the morning.
- Mornin', Melvin.
- Wait.
- Why are you wearing Eliteanati uniforms? - We changed our minds.
We're going.
Yep.
Just breaking in these sweet uniforms so we don't chafe on our first day at Eliteanati.
'Cause we're going there.
Melvin? You okay, buddy? - Wow.
He bought our fake uniforms.
- He actually thinks we're going.
We got him good.
Maybe too good.
I think we broke his brain.
Should we tell him we're messing with him? Nah.
Let him stew a little.
I mean, what's the worst that can happen? They never learn.
Relax.
Those two participation trophies can't go to Eliteanati.
It's too late.
It's done.
You can't beat the system.
Wrong! I am the system.
There are still five days of school left, and I've prepared a measure of last resort.
A final exam for your class, rigged, so you can reclaim the top spot and get that invitation from Eliteanati.
- I'm calling it the "Tattle Trials"! - Oh, what kind of exam? Calculus? Quantum physics? Moldavian battle history? We're going to use George and Harold's own ridiculous imaginations to destroy them, courtesy of this oddly relevant comic.
Chapter 2: Captain Underpants and the Deadly Doom Dome.
By George and Harold.
So, one time, Captain Underpants went to the mall to get the new Punt Force Mama album 'cause they found their voice on this one.
Wocka-wocka-wocka-neow! Then this cool dude with a sweet mustache was all like, "Wanna go to the Punt Force Mama concert? They gave out free tickets at the oil change place.
" And Captain Underpants was like, "Tra-la-lay it on me! Smacka-smacka! Got a ticket! Got a ticket! Oom-cha!" So they went to the new This Isn't A Trap Dome, which sounds suspicious, and when they got in, the doors slammed shut.
Fa-thud! 'Cause it was totally a trap.
And the cool dude turned into Dr.
Disgruntled, a cranky villain who built a Doom Dome to be evil.
Doom! Dome! Captain Underpants was like, "You went to a lot of trouble to be evil.
" And Dr.
Disgruntled was all like, "I like drama, I like drama! Blump-blump!" Then he grabbed Punt Force Mama's lead singer, Screechy Knuckles, and Wait, wait.
Hold on, wait.
I got lost.
Go back a little bit to, um And Dr.
Disgruntled was all, "I like drama!" Then he grabbed Punt Force Mama's lead singer, Screechy Knuckles, and ran off! And Captain Underpants said, "No! He has the voice of an angel with a sore throat!" So, Captain Underpants chased them, but Dr.
Disgruntled set a bunch of traps, like a man-eating plant called "Meanus Guy Trap," the Sproing In Your Steps, the Stupefying Stairs of Stink Pyoo! Fingers, the Petty Thief Panther, and Drowsy Darts that used band merch as bait.
But Captain Underpants brought his U-game, 'cause underwear! He was all zigzag on one and flip-flop on another, and, "Man, these stairs need a bath," and, "Ha! That's not my card!" And he beat the traps, 'cause that's what heroes do! Then Dr.
Disgruntled was all, "The only way out of this dome is to press this red button.
" Red button.
So, Captain Underpants pressed it, and Dr.
Disgruntled was all, "I should've made that harder.
" Then Dr.
Disgruntled released Screechy Knuckles, and the band played all the hits both of 'em! Captain Underpants was like, "I'd buy a T-shirt if I wore a shirt!" Okay, the end.
You built their Doom Dome? That's an advantage for them! That's what they'll think! It'll make them over-confident and lazy.
- Therefore, advantage Melvin.
- This is a terrible plan! - Or is it a brilliant plan? - No, it's terrible! I'll be a failure, I'll be an embarrassment.
I I'll be You'll be me.
Use the bag! Too late.
Only five more days, then we'll be dippin' our butts in Lake Summer Camp.
- All we gotta do now is coast.
- And pack.
- Fake dog poop? - Check! - Real dog poop? - Check! - Wait, I forgot to label 'em.
- Doesn't matter.
Well, that's it.
We're all packed.
- What about clothes? - We wear the same thing every day.
Good point.
Man, there is literally nothing that can stop us from going to Lake Summer Camp now.
They really have to stop saying things like that.
Chapter 3: Dome Field Advantage.
- Behold, the Tattle Trials Doom Dome 2000! - This is a playground.
Oh, I forgot to push the button.
This must have cost millions! It did, but I'm from the future.
Easy money when you know what's gonna happen.
Bingo again! I am Bingo man! Paid in full with Bingo money.
"Tattle Trials, brought to you by Piquasaurus Pizza"? Yes, and I also got a sponsor to cover your Eliteanati tuition.
That place is not cheap.
In summation, this dome is the answer to all our problems.
No, it is the problem! This dome is full of physical obstacles.
How am I supposed to navigate those? I get winded sharpening a pencil! Not anymore.
You pricked me! Relax.
All I did was inject nanobots into your bloodstream.
Nanobots are microscopic robots.
See the millions of them waving? Of course you don't.
Because they are so tiny, they're invisible.
Are you insane? Do you have any idea what that could do to a growing boy like us? Oh, I know exactly what it can do.
Now lift that car.
- Don't be absurd.
- I said lift! Hey, I did it! Yes! The nanobots give you superior physical abilities.
And you control them with my handy app, the Nano-Limits 2000.
While George and Harold rest on their laurels, you'll sail past them to victory.
- We're a genius! - Yes, we are.
Don't do that again.
You're probably wondering why you're in a dome, or where the dome came from and who paid for it, or how it was built in secret.
Didn't we have a Doom Dome in one of our old comics? "Captain Underpants and the Deadly Doom Dome"! Oh, yeah.
Dr.
Disgruntled, right? As I was saying, this year we're having a final exam for the entire fourth grade.
Oh, man! In order to pass the exam, all you have to do - is press a red button - Hooray! After you complete a perilous obstacle course.
Oh, man! But the first one to find and press the big, red button gets an A.
- Hooray! - But everyone else gets an F.
Oh, man! But you can have all the pizza you want in here, courtesy of Piquasaurus Pizza.
Hooray! Great.
If we fail, our grades drop.
That means no Lake Summer Camp! - We gotta win this thing! - We were so close.
Why can't our lives ever be easy? No one wants to watch that.
I'm so sick of winning.
Why can't our lives ever be hard? If you give up now, you can spare yourself the humiliation of a crushing defeat at my hands.
What? You couldn't make it through an obstacle course if you were riding piggyback on Thigh "Leapy Legs" Vaulton! You have no idea how wrong you are, you day-old Kaiser rolls.
I'm the ref, and here are the rules.
One, no outside help or you're disqualified.
Two, get outta here so I can eat this pizza! Oh, uh, I mean, begin! Why is he whistling? He's gotta be up to something.
Eh, he's always up to something, and we always beat him.
Wait, that's a Meanus Guy Trap! Meanus Guy Trap! - We can't lose! - Yep! Everything in here's our idea.
It's like we've got a cheat sheet with all the answers! Zag, zig, zag, zig! Whoa! Sophie One! Oh, no! Other Sophie? Ugh! Oh, well.
Wait, oh, my garr.
Now I'm out of Sophies! What's-her-name and other what's-her-name are out! Welcome to Piquasaurus Pizza, kids, proud sponsor of the Tattle Trials.
We're dinosaurs and we make pizza, for now.
But if this sponsorship doesn't drum up some biz, we'll be out of biz.
Well, at least we get to live, even if we haven't earned it.
They're dropping like flies.
Should we save them? From pizza? They're fine.
And we gotta keep our eye on the summer camp prize.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot that's our goal for the season.
But we thought up this dome, so we're golden.
There's a big difference between fantasy and reality.
For example, pushing the red button's a fantasy for you guys.
For me, it's reality.
- We got this in the bag.
- Seriously, stop! Chapter 4: When in Dome.
The Sproing In Your Steps! You remember the tiles we're supposed to step on? Yep.
Too bad those guys don't.
Wee! I'm flying! Glasses kid is out! Left, right, left, left.
Jump! No way Melvin doesn't get sproinged.
He got sproinged so hard.
Ha! Don't forget to close your mouths.
Hey, he unsproinged himself! - Don't worry.
That's just dome luck.
- Nice.
Now that I'm up here, I hope the birds accept me as one of them.
My insurance won't cover that! I'm startin' to think this was a bad idea.
These Stupefying Stairs of Stink are even better than they were in my head! The Stupefying Stairs of Stink.
Pyoo! Yeah.
Oh, they totally nailed the dirty-tube-socks part of the stink.
You two misspelled street signs really need to step up your game.
Enjoy your pizza, soon-to-be-losers! - Why does he keep checking his phone? - Maybe he's watching fitness videos.
These stairs are jacked and they smell like a van.
Sophie One, find the escalator.
Other Sophie Oh, wait, I'm still out of Sophies.
This is your fault, Other Sophie, even though you're not here! The mean girl with the hair is out! Look, it's Fingers, the Petty Thief Panther! Fingers, the Petty Thief Panther! You wanna cross the bridge, all's youse gotta do is follow the ball.
Round and round she goes.
Where she stops, nobody knows.
Fingers is one shifty panther.
We gotta stay frosty.
- Why'd we even put him in our comic? - You had a fever that day.
The ball's under there.
Under I got hustled! Hustled Out and also out! Man, I'm gonna need a whole new roof! Cash train Where's the little lady hiding? - It's that one.
- No, it's that one! You're both wrong! Oh, hands off the merchandise, chief.
Fingers works alone.
Melvin for the mel-win! Okay, something is definitely going on with Melvin and that phone.
Yeah.
He's never been able to pick up panthers before.
He's gonna beat us to that red button, and then the closest we get to summer camp is Tim's Tent Town! We gotta swipe that phone, and I know just the panther to do it.
Time to put the heat on that cheat.
Chapter 5: Dome Stop Believin'.
You're too close! - How's that? - Now your finger's in the way! You said this was a lock, but George and Harold are right behind me! I'll admit, in hindsight, making the Doom Dome exactly as those two empty maracas envisioned it was perhaps a misstep.
Fortunately, I have a few obstacles for just an emergency.
Oh, no.
I'm doomed.
Have some faith in us! Now, the first one is a Do I eat too much paste in the future? You pressed the mute.
Mute! How do you not know how to use a phone? What are you doing? Taking a break from all your cheating? When life gives you domes, you make dome-inade.
Which is actually just lemonade.
Want some? From you? Never! - I'll take one.
- Make it two.
- Too bad! I only made enough for me.
- Typical.
We know you're cheating.
Yesterday, you needed help closing scissors, and now you're a regular Thigh "Leapy Legs" Vaulton! I am not cheating.
I have performance-enhancing nanobots coursing through my veins, which I control with a handy app, the Nano-Limits 2000.
- Why are you telling us that? - Somebody has to! They don't.
- So, you admit it! You're cheating! - I admit nothing.
The rules clearly state, "no outside help.
" And since the nanobots are inside my body, that makes them inside help.
- Ah! A loophole.
- Eh, it doesn't matter.
We're still gonna win 'cause we thought up everything in this dome.
Not everything.
Future me planned a surprise party for you.
I love surprises! Who's coming? Oh, just your worst monster enemies! I'm gonna flip-flop on "I love surprises.
" We're surrounded by all the monsters we've ever faced.
- We didn't put this in our comic! - But we should've.
This is awesome! Yes, because now, I'm going to win, and you're about to be nano-more.
That's it.
We're dead.
I don't know.
Somethin' about those monsters smell real fishy.
No, that's just how Poopacabra smells, remember? And Cloggernaut, and Tubbadump, and Socktopus, and TP Mummy.
- You know what? They all smell pretty bad.
- That's just it, I don't smell anything! Stay here! Where are you going? George, no! You're too young! It's even worse! They're monster enemy ghosts! Holograms.
Too bad.
That could've been a cool battle.
You think Fingers swiped Melvin's phone yet? This phone? Like I said to that kid, "Hands off the merchandise.
" Now we turn the nanothings off and Or we turn 'em all the way up and see what happens.
Yep.
That sounds like more fun.
Nothing happened.
What a letdown.
Please be another hologram.
Na-nope! That's the real deal.
Oh, no! The nanobots have gone berserk! They're turning me into - NanoNerd! - Oh, great name! But let's pull the plug before he pulls our plugs! You! You made me a monster! Even worse, you stole my phone! As far as you know.
Oh, no! - The app overloaded! - We should give it a bad review.
- Sorry about your phone, Melvin.
- Too little, too late.
I'll use this to my advantage.
And there's nothing you can do to stop me from winning the Tattle Trials.
- Hey, is that another NanoNerd? - Where? All I see are those trees, and that nest, and those squirrels, and that other nest, and Oh, no.
I'm better than this.
Ah, finally! A place where I can eat pizza in peace! Mr.
Krupp! Occupied! Ocupado! Why didn't you knock? - Ah! Why didn't you lock the door? - I don't know how! And why are you eating pizza in the bathroom? Because I can't stop myself, and I have a problem, and please help me! - We don't have time.
- Tra-la-lavatory Whoa! Is that a pizza tree? "This toilet brought to you by Piquasaurus Pizza.
" "Buy our Butt Pizza.
" So good.
Yeah, but we better get back to beating NanoNerd to that button.
You can't beat me! Nano-one can! Look, talking parade balloon, I've got a pizza tree to harvest, so let's settle this mano-a-nano! Ha! Chapter 6: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter, presented in Pizza-O-Rama.
Because fighting is violent, but pizza is delicious.
Got a half Captain Underpants, half NanoNerd here, and it's pipin' hot! Oh! Maybe too hot! This one's quarter shredded brief, three-quarters glasses and bowties.
Whoa! Those nerd toppings got a beef with those briefs! Last call on a Nerdvana Supreme with undies hangin' by a thread.
Game over, undies! Pizza.
Need pizza.
I'm getting some pep from this pepperoni! More pizza, extra cheese.
Aha! Whoa! - Maybe a Hawaiian - Pizza's not working! Time to go! Just keep moving.
We'll lose him in the trees.
Hey, a Punt Force Mama tour jacket attached to a wire.
- Cool! - No! That's a trap from our comic! Hey, did everything just get real slow? I mean, real slow.
- Oh, Drowsy Darts! What were we thinking? - Yeah, not our best work.
But no time for naps! I don't know how long Fingers can stall NanoNerd! Is this your card? For the last time, no! Okay, but is this your watch? - A cliff! We're out of runway! - Shh! I think we lost him.
Never fear, I'll find him! Here, Nano! NanoNerd! - No, wait! - Nano? Found him! It's over.
After I leave you stranded in that eagle's nest, I'll push the red button and I'll be going to Eliteanati Academy instead of you! Wait! We don't wanna go to Eliteanati! We were just pranking you for calling us dumb! Yeah, we just wanna go to Lake Summer Camp! - Really? - Really! Hey, guys! I just found some dirt pizza.
Oh, you know what? Wait a minute.
This is just dirt.
Why didn't you say that earlier? We were busy tryin' to stay alive.
So, if you guys go to Lake Summer Camp, you won't go to Eliteanati and we'll part ways forever? - Sure.
- Deal! - Really? - Of course.
I'm not a monster You just electro-blasted yourself.
I had no choice.
But we're safe now, thanks to my NanoWayJose 2000.
It was the only way to halt the nanobot epidemic you unleashed in young me by turning the nanobots all the way up.
If turning them all the way up does that, why is it even an option? And why'd you even build a dome that was our idea? Mistakes were made.
Lots of mistakes.
Plenty of blame to go around.
But the point is I got rid of the nanobots.
Unless, of course, the shock chased them into a new host, like the dome, but Look, there's only a four percent chance of that.
Oh, no.
Man, if I was gonna do a cliffhanger, I'd do it right here.
So would we.
When school's almost out, what do you feel like doing? No more boring science tests 'Cause summer's here Let's flip some desks - School is over - End of the year Time for fun 'cause summer is here What are you guys doing? A big musical number.
No more green and chewy gravy We're surfin' to summer camp On a wavey 'Cause school's done What in the name of Yellowstone National Park are you two doing? School's not over for five days! We know.
This was just a dry run.
If we want the real thing to go smoothly, we gotta practice.
Sorry.
Too early.
- I'm allergic to confetti! - Confetti's just paper.
You're just paper! - Did he really just say that? - He did.
Now clean up this Oh, no.
A motorcycle.
That biker bounty hunter finally found me! - Nope, still part of our celebration.
- Too early.
Sweet jump, Reckless Randy! So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! But they had a mean, old principal Who told them what to - Blah, blah, blah, blah! - So they got a hypno-ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda, on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet - You're back where you began - Blah, blah, blah! Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-la Chapter 1: You Catch More Flies With Honey than Melvinegar.
This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and flattop.
Harold is on the right with the T-shirt and bad haircut.
Remember that now.
And that's Melvin.
He's about to do something he's never done say something nice to George and Harold.
Okay, here we go.
I I I I Come on! I wanted to congratulate you on becoming the top students at Melvin Sneedly Elementary and - Do you mind? - Sorry.
And for being accepted to Eliteanati Academy.
I'll admit, I didn't anticipate this.
Not in my worst nightmares! Get used to it, Sneedly.
- Hey, buddy.
- Well, we got life sentences, too! We're not going to Eliteanati.
Of course, if you If you were to decline the offer, I would be next in line.
And if I go, we'll never see each other again.
- And it's what we've always wanted.
- Right.
So we're not going.
Can you hear us? Should we talk louder? In summation, I just think that Wait, did you say you're not going? Give me those! - Yes! - Excellent.
We're on the same page.
- Why don't we put it in writing? - You got a pen? Now, just sign here, here.
Initial here and sign here.
And just sign here, here, here, and here.
And here, and here, and here, here, here.
And initial here and right here.
It's really for the best.
Let's be honest, you aren't smart enough for Eliteanati.
Hmm? Hmm You mind if we look this over? Take all the time you need.
Just give it to me in the morning.
- Mornin', Melvin.
- Wait.
- Why are you wearing Eliteanati uniforms? - We changed our minds.
We're going.
Yep.
Just breaking in these sweet uniforms so we don't chafe on our first day at Eliteanati.
'Cause we're going there.
Melvin? You okay, buddy? - Wow.
He bought our fake uniforms.
- He actually thinks we're going.
We got him good.
Maybe too good.
I think we broke his brain.
Should we tell him we're messing with him? Nah.
Let him stew a little.
I mean, what's the worst that can happen? They never learn.
Relax.
Those two participation trophies can't go to Eliteanati.
It's too late.
It's done.
You can't beat the system.
Wrong! I am the system.
There are still five days of school left, and I've prepared a measure of last resort.
A final exam for your class, rigged, so you can reclaim the top spot and get that invitation from Eliteanati.
- I'm calling it the "Tattle Trials"! - Oh, what kind of exam? Calculus? Quantum physics? Moldavian battle history? We're going to use George and Harold's own ridiculous imaginations to destroy them, courtesy of this oddly relevant comic.
Chapter 2: Captain Underpants and the Deadly Doom Dome.
By George and Harold.
So, one time, Captain Underpants went to the mall to get the new Punt Force Mama album 'cause they found their voice on this one.
Wocka-wocka-wocka-neow! Then this cool dude with a sweet mustache was all like, "Wanna go to the Punt Force Mama concert? They gave out free tickets at the oil change place.
" And Captain Underpants was like, "Tra-la-lay it on me! Smacka-smacka! Got a ticket! Got a ticket! Oom-cha!" So they went to the new This Isn't A Trap Dome, which sounds suspicious, and when they got in, the doors slammed shut.
Fa-thud! 'Cause it was totally a trap.
And the cool dude turned into Dr.
Disgruntled, a cranky villain who built a Doom Dome to be evil.
Doom! Dome! Captain Underpants was like, "You went to a lot of trouble to be evil.
" And Dr.
Disgruntled was all like, "I like drama, I like drama! Blump-blump!" Then he grabbed Punt Force Mama's lead singer, Screechy Knuckles, and Wait, wait.
Hold on, wait.
I got lost.
Go back a little bit to, um And Dr.
Disgruntled was all, "I like drama!" Then he grabbed Punt Force Mama's lead singer, Screechy Knuckles, and ran off! And Captain Underpants said, "No! He has the voice of an angel with a sore throat!" So, Captain Underpants chased them, but Dr.
Disgruntled set a bunch of traps, like a man-eating plant called "Meanus Guy Trap," the Sproing In Your Steps, the Stupefying Stairs of Stink Pyoo! Fingers, the Petty Thief Panther, and Drowsy Darts that used band merch as bait.
But Captain Underpants brought his U-game, 'cause underwear! He was all zigzag on one and flip-flop on another, and, "Man, these stairs need a bath," and, "Ha! That's not my card!" And he beat the traps, 'cause that's what heroes do! Then Dr.
Disgruntled was all, "The only way out of this dome is to press this red button.
" Red button.
So, Captain Underpants pressed it, and Dr.
Disgruntled was all, "I should've made that harder.
" Then Dr.
Disgruntled released Screechy Knuckles, and the band played all the hits both of 'em! Captain Underpants was like, "I'd buy a T-shirt if I wore a shirt!" Okay, the end.
You built their Doom Dome? That's an advantage for them! That's what they'll think! It'll make them over-confident and lazy.
- Therefore, advantage Melvin.
- This is a terrible plan! - Or is it a brilliant plan? - No, it's terrible! I'll be a failure, I'll be an embarrassment.
I I'll be You'll be me.
Use the bag! Too late.
Only five more days, then we'll be dippin' our butts in Lake Summer Camp.
- All we gotta do now is coast.
- And pack.
- Fake dog poop? - Check! - Real dog poop? - Check! - Wait, I forgot to label 'em.
- Doesn't matter.
Well, that's it.
We're all packed.
- What about clothes? - We wear the same thing every day.
Good point.
Man, there is literally nothing that can stop us from going to Lake Summer Camp now.
They really have to stop saying things like that.
Chapter 3: Dome Field Advantage.
- Behold, the Tattle Trials Doom Dome 2000! - This is a playground.
Oh, I forgot to push the button.
This must have cost millions! It did, but I'm from the future.
Easy money when you know what's gonna happen.
Bingo again! I am Bingo man! Paid in full with Bingo money.
"Tattle Trials, brought to you by Piquasaurus Pizza"? Yes, and I also got a sponsor to cover your Eliteanati tuition.
That place is not cheap.
In summation, this dome is the answer to all our problems.
No, it is the problem! This dome is full of physical obstacles.
How am I supposed to navigate those? I get winded sharpening a pencil! Not anymore.
You pricked me! Relax.
All I did was inject nanobots into your bloodstream.
Nanobots are microscopic robots.
See the millions of them waving? Of course you don't.
Because they are so tiny, they're invisible.
Are you insane? Do you have any idea what that could do to a growing boy like us? Oh, I know exactly what it can do.
Now lift that car.
- Don't be absurd.
- I said lift! Hey, I did it! Yes! The nanobots give you superior physical abilities.
And you control them with my handy app, the Nano-Limits 2000.
While George and Harold rest on their laurels, you'll sail past them to victory.
- We're a genius! - Yes, we are.
Don't do that again.
You're probably wondering why you're in a dome, or where the dome came from and who paid for it, or how it was built in secret.
Didn't we have a Doom Dome in one of our old comics? "Captain Underpants and the Deadly Doom Dome"! Oh, yeah.
Dr.
Disgruntled, right? As I was saying, this year we're having a final exam for the entire fourth grade.
Oh, man! In order to pass the exam, all you have to do - is press a red button - Hooray! After you complete a perilous obstacle course.
Oh, man! But the first one to find and press the big, red button gets an A.
- Hooray! - But everyone else gets an F.
Oh, man! But you can have all the pizza you want in here, courtesy of Piquasaurus Pizza.
Hooray! Great.
If we fail, our grades drop.
That means no Lake Summer Camp! - We gotta win this thing! - We were so close.
Why can't our lives ever be easy? No one wants to watch that.
I'm so sick of winning.
Why can't our lives ever be hard? If you give up now, you can spare yourself the humiliation of a crushing defeat at my hands.
What? You couldn't make it through an obstacle course if you were riding piggyback on Thigh "Leapy Legs" Vaulton! You have no idea how wrong you are, you day-old Kaiser rolls.
I'm the ref, and here are the rules.
One, no outside help or you're disqualified.
Two, get outta here so I can eat this pizza! Oh, uh, I mean, begin! Why is he whistling? He's gotta be up to something.
Eh, he's always up to something, and we always beat him.
Wait, that's a Meanus Guy Trap! Meanus Guy Trap! - We can't lose! - Yep! Everything in here's our idea.
It's like we've got a cheat sheet with all the answers! Zag, zig, zag, zig! Whoa! Sophie One! Oh, no! Other Sophie? Ugh! Oh, well.
Wait, oh, my garr.
Now I'm out of Sophies! What's-her-name and other what's-her-name are out! Welcome to Piquasaurus Pizza, kids, proud sponsor of the Tattle Trials.
We're dinosaurs and we make pizza, for now.
But if this sponsorship doesn't drum up some biz, we'll be out of biz.
Well, at least we get to live, even if we haven't earned it.
They're dropping like flies.
Should we save them? From pizza? They're fine.
And we gotta keep our eye on the summer camp prize.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot that's our goal for the season.
But we thought up this dome, so we're golden.
There's a big difference between fantasy and reality.
For example, pushing the red button's a fantasy for you guys.
For me, it's reality.
- We got this in the bag.
- Seriously, stop! Chapter 4: When in Dome.
The Sproing In Your Steps! You remember the tiles we're supposed to step on? Yep.
Too bad those guys don't.
Wee! I'm flying! Glasses kid is out! Left, right, left, left.
Jump! No way Melvin doesn't get sproinged.
He got sproinged so hard.
Ha! Don't forget to close your mouths.
Hey, he unsproinged himself! - Don't worry.
That's just dome luck.
- Nice.
Now that I'm up here, I hope the birds accept me as one of them.
My insurance won't cover that! I'm startin' to think this was a bad idea.
These Stupefying Stairs of Stink are even better than they were in my head! The Stupefying Stairs of Stink.
Pyoo! Yeah.
Oh, they totally nailed the dirty-tube-socks part of the stink.
You two misspelled street signs really need to step up your game.
Enjoy your pizza, soon-to-be-losers! - Why does he keep checking his phone? - Maybe he's watching fitness videos.
These stairs are jacked and they smell like a van.
Sophie One, find the escalator.
Other Sophie Oh, wait, I'm still out of Sophies.
This is your fault, Other Sophie, even though you're not here! The mean girl with the hair is out! Look, it's Fingers, the Petty Thief Panther! Fingers, the Petty Thief Panther! You wanna cross the bridge, all's youse gotta do is follow the ball.
Round and round she goes.
Where she stops, nobody knows.
Fingers is one shifty panther.
We gotta stay frosty.
- Why'd we even put him in our comic? - You had a fever that day.
The ball's under there.
Under I got hustled! Hustled Out and also out! Man, I'm gonna need a whole new roof! Cash train Where's the little lady hiding? - It's that one.
- No, it's that one! You're both wrong! Oh, hands off the merchandise, chief.
Fingers works alone.
Melvin for the mel-win! Okay, something is definitely going on with Melvin and that phone.
Yeah.
He's never been able to pick up panthers before.
He's gonna beat us to that red button, and then the closest we get to summer camp is Tim's Tent Town! We gotta swipe that phone, and I know just the panther to do it.
Time to put the heat on that cheat.
Chapter 5: Dome Stop Believin'.
You're too close! - How's that? - Now your finger's in the way! You said this was a lock, but George and Harold are right behind me! I'll admit, in hindsight, making the Doom Dome exactly as those two empty maracas envisioned it was perhaps a misstep.
Fortunately, I have a few obstacles for just an emergency.
Oh, no.
I'm doomed.
Have some faith in us! Now, the first one is a Do I eat too much paste in the future? You pressed the mute.
Mute! How do you not know how to use a phone? What are you doing? Taking a break from all your cheating? When life gives you domes, you make dome-inade.
Which is actually just lemonade.
Want some? From you? Never! - I'll take one.
- Make it two.
- Too bad! I only made enough for me.
- Typical.
We know you're cheating.
Yesterday, you needed help closing scissors, and now you're a regular Thigh "Leapy Legs" Vaulton! I am not cheating.
I have performance-enhancing nanobots coursing through my veins, which I control with a handy app, the Nano-Limits 2000.
- Why are you telling us that? - Somebody has to! They don't.
- So, you admit it! You're cheating! - I admit nothing.
The rules clearly state, "no outside help.
" And since the nanobots are inside my body, that makes them inside help.
- Ah! A loophole.
- Eh, it doesn't matter.
We're still gonna win 'cause we thought up everything in this dome.
Not everything.
Future me planned a surprise party for you.
I love surprises! Who's coming? Oh, just your worst monster enemies! I'm gonna flip-flop on "I love surprises.
" We're surrounded by all the monsters we've ever faced.
- We didn't put this in our comic! - But we should've.
This is awesome! Yes, because now, I'm going to win, and you're about to be nano-more.
That's it.
We're dead.
I don't know.
Somethin' about those monsters smell real fishy.
No, that's just how Poopacabra smells, remember? And Cloggernaut, and Tubbadump, and Socktopus, and TP Mummy.
- You know what? They all smell pretty bad.
- That's just it, I don't smell anything! Stay here! Where are you going? George, no! You're too young! It's even worse! They're monster enemy ghosts! Holograms.
Too bad.
That could've been a cool battle.
You think Fingers swiped Melvin's phone yet? This phone? Like I said to that kid, "Hands off the merchandise.
" Now we turn the nanothings off and Or we turn 'em all the way up and see what happens.
Yep.
That sounds like more fun.
Nothing happened.
What a letdown.
Please be another hologram.
Na-nope! That's the real deal.
Oh, no! The nanobots have gone berserk! They're turning me into - NanoNerd! - Oh, great name! But let's pull the plug before he pulls our plugs! You! You made me a monster! Even worse, you stole my phone! As far as you know.
Oh, no! - The app overloaded! - We should give it a bad review.
- Sorry about your phone, Melvin.
- Too little, too late.
I'll use this to my advantage.
And there's nothing you can do to stop me from winning the Tattle Trials.
- Hey, is that another NanoNerd? - Where? All I see are those trees, and that nest, and those squirrels, and that other nest, and Oh, no.
I'm better than this.
Ah, finally! A place where I can eat pizza in peace! Mr.
Krupp! Occupied! Ocupado! Why didn't you knock? - Ah! Why didn't you lock the door? - I don't know how! And why are you eating pizza in the bathroom? Because I can't stop myself, and I have a problem, and please help me! - We don't have time.
- Tra-la-lavatory Whoa! Is that a pizza tree? "This toilet brought to you by Piquasaurus Pizza.
" "Buy our Butt Pizza.
" So good.
Yeah, but we better get back to beating NanoNerd to that button.
You can't beat me! Nano-one can! Look, talking parade balloon, I've got a pizza tree to harvest, so let's settle this mano-a-nano! Ha! Chapter 6: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter, presented in Pizza-O-Rama.
Because fighting is violent, but pizza is delicious.
Got a half Captain Underpants, half NanoNerd here, and it's pipin' hot! Oh! Maybe too hot! This one's quarter shredded brief, three-quarters glasses and bowties.
Whoa! Those nerd toppings got a beef with those briefs! Last call on a Nerdvana Supreme with undies hangin' by a thread.
Game over, undies! Pizza.
Need pizza.
I'm getting some pep from this pepperoni! More pizza, extra cheese.
Aha! Whoa! - Maybe a Hawaiian - Pizza's not working! Time to go! Just keep moving.
We'll lose him in the trees.
Hey, a Punt Force Mama tour jacket attached to a wire.
- Cool! - No! That's a trap from our comic! Hey, did everything just get real slow? I mean, real slow.
- Oh, Drowsy Darts! What were we thinking? - Yeah, not our best work.
But no time for naps! I don't know how long Fingers can stall NanoNerd! Is this your card? For the last time, no! Okay, but is this your watch? - A cliff! We're out of runway! - Shh! I think we lost him.
Never fear, I'll find him! Here, Nano! NanoNerd! - No, wait! - Nano? Found him! It's over.
After I leave you stranded in that eagle's nest, I'll push the red button and I'll be going to Eliteanati Academy instead of you! Wait! We don't wanna go to Eliteanati! We were just pranking you for calling us dumb! Yeah, we just wanna go to Lake Summer Camp! - Really? - Really! Hey, guys! I just found some dirt pizza.
Oh, you know what? Wait a minute.
This is just dirt.
Why didn't you say that earlier? We were busy tryin' to stay alive.
So, if you guys go to Lake Summer Camp, you won't go to Eliteanati and we'll part ways forever? - Sure.
- Deal! - Really? - Of course.
I'm not a monster You just electro-blasted yourself.
I had no choice.
But we're safe now, thanks to my NanoWayJose 2000.
It was the only way to halt the nanobot epidemic you unleashed in young me by turning the nanobots all the way up.
If turning them all the way up does that, why is it even an option? And why'd you even build a dome that was our idea? Mistakes were made.
Lots of mistakes.
Plenty of blame to go around.
But the point is I got rid of the nanobots.
Unless, of course, the shock chased them into a new host, like the dome, but Look, there's only a four percent chance of that.
Oh, no.
Man, if I was gonna do a cliffhanger, I'd do it right here.
So would we.