The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s02e12 Episode Script

Just one more bowl of ghost snaps.
Okay, now I just need the milk.
I'll just hand it to you.
Hey, Miles, how big a doof is your brother? Frankie, that's not Miles.
Huh? Oh, I should've known that wasn't Miles.
No one's lectured me on my posture since I sat down.
That thing creeps me out, and it's ruining my appetite.
That thing is our school mascot.
The gymnastics team always guards it before the big homecoming game so our rivals won't steal it.
Meadow's coming over later to help.
Right, because that's a two-person job.
Anyway, Meadow can see you guys now but she doesn't know you're ghosts.
So stick to your cover story.
Uh, we're circus performers hiding out while we work on our new routine.
Seriously? Don't worry, Taylor.
Louie and Ray will be busy helping me out with my Internet commercial, hmm? Pie squared is going viral.
And I'm not referring to what the health inspector found growing behind the fridge.
Michelle asked me to direct due to the massive popularity of my online videos.
Remember, ladies, only four months until swimsuit season.
Anyway, just please remember, no ghosting while Meadow is here.
Hey, fam, guess who's got his head in the clouds.
Give me a fork.
I'm popping him.
Don't.
Hello? Taylor? It's Meadow, she's early.
Tie your head down.
Meadow! So good to see you.
So So So okay, hug time is over.
Hey, guys.
Oh, I don't think I've met you before.
I'm Miles Preston.
Meadow, you have no idea how good it is to be seen by you see you.
Nothing weird about that.
(Laughs) Everybody sees everybody.
Okay, enough chitchat.
Well, it must be really exciting living with the amazing prestons.
Never a dull moment.
(Spooky rock music) If you move into a haunted house You gotta try to work things out So if you're living with a ghost or three You gotta be one big, semi-scary family Don't know how we ended up this way But I guess you could call us The haunted hathaways The haunted hathaways The haunted hathaways The haunted hathaways Who's ready to make a commercial? Let's rock this! That didn't come out as cool as I had hoped.
Dad, you know where the pie is I asked for? Mm-hmm, boom! Ooh, this is blueberry, and I kind of asked for apple.
What difference does it make? (Laughs) You're adorable.
While I have you here, just a few tiny thoughts on the jingle you wrote.
Only worry about the marked up areas.
Hmm.
This is all marked up! Exactly.
Worky-worky time.
Wow, how annoying is he gonna get? Annoying? No.
He's been called a genius by video blogger superfart64.
And I need this commercial.
It's worked for the pizza joint down the street.
So please, respect his process.
What'd he say about you? Called me a young Jennifer Lawrence.
Okay, places everyone.
Michelle, where's your co-star? Sorry, I was in the bakery.
Reading.
Frankie, you ruined your makeup.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm the only one who cares about this project.
Let's just rehearse this.
And Action! Oh, hello.
I didn't see you there.
I'm Michelle hathaway.
Welcome.
Here at pie squared, we use only the finest ingredients to bake the world's best pies, but don't take my word for it.
Ask my daughter.
At pie squared, every warm slice of pie comes with a big scoop of love.
Craving a sweet? Come in for a treat Pie squa-a-ared! Shoo-be-doobie do wop do wop do Wah-hah! (Laughing) Okay, how do I put this nicely? I can't, so I won't.
What? I thought it was good.
- You were fantastic.
- Really? No.
See, that's acting.
- Michelle? - Yes? Perfection.
Oh, thank you, Louie.
He's so wise.
And dad, anytime you want to look over my thoughts on your jingle, couldn't happen soon enough.
(Scoffs) Okay, just a second.
Louie, you're just being a little rude.
Sorry, pops, but I'm the director, and the director is king.
All right, we're all struggling here a bit.
Let's just take five, then start again.
Michelle, we've got problems.
Frankie can't act, and my dad's song makes me wish I lived in a world with no music.
I blame myself.
I'm outshining them.
As hard as it is to say, we've got to get rid of those two.
Huh, actually, it wasn't that hard to say.
You can't fire Frankie and Ray.
It'll break my heart.
Shoo-be-doobie do wop do wop do wow! Get rid of 'Em.
Do you think anyone will recognize inchie in this disguise? Who's inchie? All I see is George Washington in a dress.
(Both laughing) Oh, hey, guys.
What a coinky-dink, all three of us ending up here at the bakery at the same time.
What are we up to? We were disguising inchie.
Aren't you supposed to be working on your circus routine? Away from here? Somewhere else? Nope.
Hey, you know what inchie's disguise is missing? A handlebar moustache.
Stop! Hammer time.
Go inchie, go inchie.
Okay.
Anyway, I love the moustache idea.
Let's try it out on you.
(Laughs) Okay, okay, that was fun.
Meadow, didn't you say you needed to use the bathroom? No.
- Are you sure? - Taylor, I think I'd know.
(Chuckles) Be right back.
What are you doing? You got too close.
Her hands almost went through you.
Well, I thought since she can see me, the three of us can all hang out.
I think that sounds fun.
It does.
Or, maybe when the three of us are hanging out, what if you were sort of not there? That'd just be the two of you hanging out.
Thank you so much for understanding.
I don't understand.
I'm your best ghost friend.
Meadow's your best human friend.
Let's link this triangle and all hang out together.
I'm sorry.
In a perfect world, it'd be great if the three of us could hang out, but Meadow's terrified of ghosts.
This is a delicate situation.
We need to be alert, ever-watchful, constantly on our toes, and aware of our surroundings.
If we're not, something bad could happen.
(Screams) Something bad just happened! What? Inchie is gone, but I was only talking to Miles - for a second.
- It was more than a second, and it felt closer to a lecture than a talk.
Maybe we could catch them before they get away.
I hope so.
That's my grandma's wig.
Should we feel bad we're shooting the commercial without Frankie and Ray? Do you want it to be good? - Yes.
- Then no.
Michelle, I handled it like a professional.
I told them we weren't gonna shoot until later and sent them to the roller rink.
Now, let's make magic.
It's time to act! I still can't believe what happened at the roller rink today.
That was embarrassing.
I think I handled myself pretty well.
I don't wanna fall! I don't wanna fall! You literally can't bruise.
The stakes couldn't be any lower.
S-slow down, you maniac! Stupid wheel feet.
Promise me you won't tell anyone what happened.
I don't make promises I can't keep.
Here at pie squared, we're a family-owned bakery that uses only the finest ingredients to bake the world's best pies.
But don't take my word for it.
Ask my daughter.
At pie squared, every warm slice of pie comes with a big old scoop of love.
I love you, mommy.
I love you too, Frankie.
What? They replaced me? - That is so offensive.
- You're right.
She really is good.
Nobody fires Frankie hathaway.
Time to sabotage this commercial.
- You in? - Frankie! It'd be completely inappropriate for me as an adult to it would be nice if you came out For a slice of pie squared They changed my perfect jingle! Oh, now, I'm mad.
(Laughs) No sign of inchie.
Turns out, cops don't take you seriously when you report a missing worm judge.
Well, I've got good news and bad news.
The good news is.
Whoever took inchie left behind this note.
What's the bad news? He's out there without his moustache.
"Happy homecoming, losers.
" Could this get any worse? Hey, Taylor.
Yup.
We just stopped by to help you take inchie to the game.
Ooh, by the way, where is he? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How do I know you're not being bribed by the other team to get information out of me? In fact, how do I know you're actually Sophie and Susan? (Both laughing) (Laughs loudly) Wow, you're really taking this seriously.
Which is great, because we don't want to be the first gymnastics team in school history to lose our mascot for homecoming.
Oh, I know.
Everyone would hate our guts Forever.
Okay, see you at the game.
This is horrible.
Where the heck is that worm? Davis drycleaners.
The note's written on the back of one of their receipts.
That's probably where they're hiding inchie.
Of course! Brian Davis is the quarterback on the rival team.
His parents own that place.
Miles, I need you to come with me.
I might need ghosting help.
Ho, ho, ho.
Now, you want my help.
Earlier, I remember a certain someone telling me they didn't want me around so much.
It was you.
Okay, I didn't find inchie, but if we put legs and a face on this banana, what do we have? A banana with legs and a face? You're right.
It just doesn't work without grammy's wig.
Don't worry, we think we know where inchie is.
Miles and I are off to get him.
Oh, great.
I'm coming with.
No! I mean, that's not necessary.
Tay, I am not about to abandon my best friend on this mission.
Plus, this will give me time to get to know Miles better.
Like, what's his favorite color? Is he a dog person or a cat person? Does he have a nickname? Lavender, dogs, and dimples mccutey.
(Laughs) Miles, you're so funny.
We'll be like the three musketeers.
Group hug! (Screams) Whoa, that was awesome! Circus acrobat, remember? I love this guy.
Now, come on.
If we're gonna get back inchie, we're gonna have to all work together.
(Chuckles) The three of us together? We need to go! Don't worry, I'll be careful! Starting now.
Okay, guys, just act casual, like we're not here to steal a giant worm.
(Whistling) The whistling means I'm casual.
(Whispering) It kind of doesn't.
So what's our game plan? Dimples, you distract the owner while Taylor and I sneak into the back.
Miles can't talk to her! He's a loner, a bad boy.
He goes against the rules.
You talk to her.
Miles and I will sneak into the back.
Okay, but don't let her see you.
That should not be a problem.
Hello, can I help you? Yes, I am here to get my pants hemmed.
That's a real thing.
Great, well, let's have a look-see.
Right over here, please.
Okay.
Well, these pants seem to be the perfect length already.
What? You sound like my mom.
Come on, can't a girl show a little ankle? How awesome is this? You, me, and Meadow at the dry cleaners searching for a worm.
Pinch me.
I wish I could.
Keep looking.
- Inchie! - I beg your pardon? Huh? Uh, one more inchie Off my hemmie.
Thanksie.
(Whistling) Great rehearsal, ladies.
Now, this one's for real.
Places! I still don't understand why I'm not allowed to see the director.
Haven't you ever been in a commercial before? - This is what happens.
- Yes, I have, and no, it's not.
Listen, pig tails, this is how the guy works, so buck up and get on board.
You don't want - to mess with me because I - We're filming! Oh, hello, I didn't see you there.
I'm Michelle hathaway.
Welcome.
You know what this performance is missing? A big old scoop of Ray Preston.
And Action.
Here at pie squared We're a family-owned bakery that uses the finest ingredients to bake the world's best pies.
But don't take my word for it.
Just ask my phony, fake daughter.
I thought we weren't supposed to change the words.
Oh, I love you too, angel.
You're my little pumpkin pie.
You're a freak! Really? Would a freak do this? - (Clucking like a chicken) - (Screams) Yes! (Doorbell jingles) (Laughs) Okay.
(Chuckles) I have a few notes.
(Laughs) Guys, I found him! (Gasps) How do we get up there? Miles, would you give me a boost? Uh, sure.
You have a terrific smile.
Not a confidence boost, a boost up.
But thank you.
Mrs.
Davis is coming.
Hide! How does she not see him? She probably thinks he's a mannequin.
Now, where is that pantsuit? Both: Uh-ohh! Try and hide! (Clucking like a chicken) (Laughs) I don't remember doing any of this.
You're usually such a pro.
What got into you? (Snickers like Ray) - Dad.
- Ray.
(Snickers) I guess you caught us.
Hey, mom, who am I? - (Clucking like a chicken) - (Laughs) I can't believe you two would do this to me.
You destroyed my commercial.
Well, you destroyed our feelings.
Look, I was just trying to make a great commercial.
This thing was never about egos.
Louie, you were incredibly rude, and what's worse, dishonest.
Let me go on record and say I fought for both of you.
Look, I'm sorry.
It's just that I was so excited Michelle wanted my expertise.
It was nice feeling wanted.
That almost never happens, and by "almost never," I mean never.
You know what? I guess I could've been more open to your suggestions.
And, Louie, you should always feel wanted.
Thanks, dad.
Turn off your jacket, son.
No.
And, Frankie, I never should've fired my own daughter.
When I say it out loud, it sounds really obvious.
I got to admit, I didn't like seeing someone else take my place.
Oh, no one can replace you.
You're one-of-a-kind.
Ray cried at the roller rink! - Frankie! - What? I held it in for 20 minutes.
(Bell dings) Coming.
All right, you made it over there.
Just unhook inchie, and let's get out of here.
Oh, is that what we should do? Taylor, I think I'm slipping.
- Don't let go.
- I can't hang on.
- Miles, do something.
- Like what? I'm only human, remember? I'm going to drop down.
Miles, catch me.
Don't think that's a good idea.
Yeah, not gonna work.
- Why not? - Because - Miles, tell her.
- No, that's okay.
- You can tell her.
- No, I insist.
- No, I insist.
- Guys! Ah! What just happened? How'd you do that? You know, I happen to have cat-like reflexes.
(Screams) Except that time.
You got it! Mom! It's time to go to the game! Hey, what are you girls doing here? Girls? Dimples mccutey is no girl.
You lose, Davis.
We're taking back our worm.
You're not taking inchie anywhere.
That's what you think! Run! - (All laughing) - How awesome was today? I still have a sock from the laundry basket.
(Laughs) Miles, you were great.
Yeah, we never would've gotten inchie back if it weren't for you.
Oh, please.
It was a group effort.
You know, after I figured out where he was.
And I saved Meadow from falling.
And I created a diversion.
- And I - Okay, thank you.
Guys, I got to tell you.
Today was the most fun I've ever had.
The three of us should definitely hang out more.
Actually, today was fun, but you probably won't be seeing much of me.
It's a busy life for us circus folk.
(Audience "awws") You know, I was just thinking.
Sure, it may be tricky with you being an Acrobat But I say we find a way to make it work.
After all, we are the three musketeers, right? Yes! (Laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, that's cool.
(Laughs) That's great.
So, what should be our next mission? Both: The game! - Let's go! And before this night ends, we are doing that group hug.
Both, weakly: Yay.
(Laughter) This is my commercial? You're welcome.
But it's just a loop of Michelle sticking her face in a pie over and over again.
It's a masterpiece.
Well, you know what they say.
There's no such thing as bad publicity.
- (Laughs) - Louie, you need to remove this from the Internet right wow, 16,000 hits.
Right after it plays for a few months.
I really am a star.
(Laughter)