The L.A. Complex s02e12 Episode Script
Xs and Os
1 Previously on "The L.
A.
Complex": Investigator: I'm the insurance investigator assigned to your case.
Connor: Can I give you my number? Oh, I've got your number.
I know a way you can make a lot of money real fast.
I pay you $25 dollars, every card you swipe.
We're making a movie, do you wanna be in it? - Do you die at the end? - Yes.
When do we start? Admit it, you miss this a little bit.
You signed me up to take the S.
A.
T.
's? - Who are you? - I'm your sister.
It breaks my heart to think that you're not living your ideal life.
I wanna help you do that.
How? I'm with the church of scienetics.
I'm in.
I'm not Simon's legal guardian.
Dad! Put him down! Please! Dean: This is for his own good.
Put the boy down.
Dean: Okay.
Buddy What're you doing? I need more than 4000 minutes.
Dynasty:The studio has security cameras.
They record everything all onto one little hard drive.
Kaldrick: What the hell you doing here? Rook: He's with me.
I wanna do this, you and me.
Who is it? We probably shouldn't be doing this.
It's a terrible idea.
Cam: Aaaaand cut.
You guys killed that! Cam: Okay, I wanna go one more time.
Connor and Raquel: Why? Uh, let's just do a loose one, see what you guys find.
He can't do loose takes.
Connor: Play arou- Cam: Good.
Ready? Play around.
Okay.
Cam: Aaaand action.
Whenever you're ready.
What? You're so beautiful.
Detective: Connor Lake? Connor: Yeah? Uh, what the hell is this? Detective: Connor Lake, you're under arrest for arson and insurance fraud.
You have the right to remain silent.
If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Christopher: Here.
Anyone come by to give you an update? Not yet.
Let's sit.
(Sighs) Thank you.
It's a fifty-cent cup of hospital coffee.
No.
Thank you for being here.
Your dad just had a stroke.
Where else would I be? Nurse: Mr.
Kiing? Kaldrick: How is he? Without more tests, it's hard to say.
Then why aren't you doin' those tests? Your father's insurance provider is refusing to cover his care.
They're claiming he missed a payment.
The hospital needs proof his bill can be paid before we continue to treat him.
Christopher: The man's in a coma Kaldrick: You want proof? Do you know who I am? Do you? Here, you want proof? Here's your proof.
Take that.
I am just doing my job, sir.
Your job is to take care of my father! He needs something, you get it for him.
This is not some bum off the streets! Matter of fact, get him his own room.
I don't want him sharing a room with these other people.
He shouldn't be moved right now.
Then move them! Get them another room! This one belongs to Walter Dougan.
Christopher: Kal! Kal! Kal! Kaldrick: The hell is wrong with you?! Christopher: Stop! Just let me handle this.
I apologize for his behaviour.
He's obviously very upset.
But I assure you it's in your best interest to provide this patient with the highest level of care available.
Do you really wanna be the reason this hospital gets sued? You wanna help me with this? Charlotte: What do you mean? Where did they take him? All:(Talking all at once) Uh well they um You didn't ask? (Talking over one another) One of you didn't go with him? I mean, it all happened pretty quickly I think we just need to concentrate on what to do now.
I'll handle it.
Raquel: I get that you're upset - I'm upset also Charlotte: I'll handle it! (Door bangs shut) I guess she's gonna handle it.
Hi, this is Charlotte Lake.
I need to speak to Roxanne.
Can you try calling me? (Phone rings) Dammit! Who is it? Is it Nick? Ugh! Let it go to voicemail.
These Will Arnett sketch-show jerks said I would hear today if I was moving on and I still haven't heard yet.
Nick: Well, you know, it's today all day, right? Maybe let them eat breakfast before you start calling them jerks.
Sabrina: I didn't get it.
I did all new material because of my bad back and I just- I blew it.
I watched your whole set from the wings.
You tore it up out there.
Sabrina: I don't have a job, my parents cut me off, my bank account is plummeting.
Nick, what am I doing? You're freaking out! Relax.
We don't need to worry about money We both still have checks coming from the PFT show, right? Plus this gig I'm doing for Chuck today apparently pays really well.
So what is this gig? It's uh just a private party for some network executive.
It's his birthday or something.
Oh God.
I'm gonna be sitting around watching my prospects dry up while you're schmoozing with a room full of greenlighters.
Hey You're gonna get it.
Meanwhile Let me be the breadwinner today.
(Sighs heavily) At least your back's feeling better.
Connor: I didn't do anything! Detective: Then this should be easy.
Did you or did you not set fire to your home for the purpose of making an insurance claim.
I did not.
Detective:But you did set fire to your home? Connor: No! Uh (Sighs) Not on purpose.
It was an accident.
Detective: Why didn't you try putting it out? I did.
Not with the fire extinguisher in your kitchen you didn't.
And why were you drinking a beer on the front lawn when first responders arrived? It was hot.
In your statement you claimed the fire started while you were making tea.
It was less hot then.
So after your kitchen exploded into flames you moved towards the fridge, away from the exit, to grab a beer? It's illegal to have bad judgment? Why didn't you call 911? My phone was dead.
Detective: You're an actor, right? My wife watches you on that show.
I can't stand it, but she says you're pretty good.
Real believable.
I'm on a tv show! You think that's gonna help you? Connor: No.
I have money.
Why would I commit insurance fraud? It doesn't make any sense.
You're the star of a network tv series and you live in a long-stay motel.
Patrons at a bar, earlier in the year, witnessed you instigate a fight that got you thirty stitches and almost cost you an eye.
Do these sound like the actions of someone who's concerned with making sense? I want a lawyer.
You okay, buddy? Dad's not very grown up for a grown-up, is he? (Knock at the door) Beth: Who is it? Cam: Hey, it's just us.
How you guys doing? We've been better.
Kevin: Wanna help me make a movie? Can I steal him? (Clears throat) Bad choice of words.
Sure.
Kevin: How do you feel about wearing a dog suit? Simon: What type of dog? I have something that might cheer you up.
Oh really? And what's that? S.
A.
T.
Results came.
Oh God! No? Not Not cheering you? No, I don't wanna I can't open it.
Okay.
I don't- cam! Oh my God! I got nineteen-hundred.
I got nineteen hundred on my s.
A.
T.
'S! Oh my God! (Cam laughs) I knew you'd own that thing! Well, what do I do now? Go to college? (Laughs) Yeah.
I'm serious.
(Gasps) No! Oh my God! You should get some sleep.
I don't wanna sleep.
What if he dies? He's not going to.
But what if he does? He still has no idea who I am.
Christopher:So tell him, as soon as he wakes up.
What did we do?! We got married.
Abby:You think I don't know that we got married?! I know we got married! I'm asking why? Why did we get married?! Because we wanna spend the rest of our lives together? I don't even know your last name! It's Sanders, okay? And technically it's your last name now too.
Unless you wanna keep your own name, 'cause that's fine.
I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
Whoa! Hey, look, all I did was propose.
I mean, you're the one who suggested the road trip to Vegas.
Yeah, after we had three bottles of champagne and you gave me your whole I-need-more-than-4000-minutes line! What are we gonna do? Go on our honeymoon? I'm serious, Gray! Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Come here, please? What do you wanna do? Do you really think that we can do this? (Sighs) We did do this.
When's my birthday? What's my favourite movie? What foods do I like? I don't know, tell me.
We don't know each other.
I like you and I might even love you, but this is a mistake.
Charlotte: Hi, this is Charlotte Lake.
I called earlier about my brother's arrest, and I was wondering if Well, can I talk to Roxanne? I really Well, can you just pull her out of the adjust? Don't you think this is a little more important than No, I can't hold, my brother's just been arrested! Shouldn't you be shooting the movie with Kevin today? Nah! Raquel has to work.
Kevin's just gonna grab a bunch of little shots around the Lux.
What's the point of this? I can't go to college, it doesn't matter how good my test scores are.
There's no harm in looking, right? Right.
Taylor: Cameron? Cameron! Cam: Taylor! Taylor: Hi! Cam: What're you doing here? I got back from Brazil last semester.
I'm doing my phd here! What?! That's crazy! Good for you.
Thank you.
(Awkward laugh) Sorry, Taylor, this is my girlfriend, Beth.
Beth, this is Taylor His first girlfriend.
Hey, I had girlfriends before you.
Taylor: Oh, sorry, I thought "girl he lost his virginity to" would make everyone uncomfortable.
Well, thank God you didn't say that.
(Awkward laughter) What are you studying? Taylor: I'm doing my dissertation on pornography and sexual politics in the age of universal access.
Wow.
Cool.
Whatever happened to submission in the modern marriage? I got bored.
What about you? Still making movies? Cam: Um, yeah, well, you know Trying.
Are they like the movies we used to make? Cam:Uh no.
(Awkward laugh) No, no, they're different than those.
I'm just showing Beth around.
She's thinking of going here.
We're dating.
Yeah.
I'm thinking of studying English.
Oh, well, you'll have such a great time here.
Cameron sure did.
But, uh, I should go, I'm late for a lecture.
Whose class? Mine.
Anyway, it was really nice to meet you.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Bye, Cameron.
Bye.
(Clears throat) So campus tour? Yeah.
Good morning.
Yup.
Mark: Or not What's wrong? One of my friends just got arrested.
For what? Arson and insurance fraud? (Laughs) (Laughs) Sorry, that's not appropriate.
No, I don't know what the appropriate reaction is.
Well, are you okay? Do you need to leave? How close are you? He's an ex-boyfriend.
Well, I think he's guilty.
He has family taking care of it.
I think I just need to keep busy.
I can keep you busy.
With restaurant-things, I meant.
I meant restaurant-things, I swear.
(Dull thud of loud thumping music) What? Manny: Sup.
Raquel: Sup.
Did I give him a raise I don't know about? Sabrina: There's no space in here! This is not a room for two people! Nick: Hello? Sabrina: And did you know you have a whole drawer full of workout gear? Who are you kidding? We're throwing this out.
Nick: Hey, hey, hey! Sabrina: You need to buy more shelves! You need to buy more shelves, you need a dresser, or Nic:Okay, calm down.
I'll buy you a dresser.
Oh! Everything's so easy for you.
Nick: What is this about? Nothing! You sound weird.
How's it going? Has the network guy got you your own pilot yet? Nick:Turns out it's his daughter's bat mitzvah.
Ugh! That's almost better.
There's probably dozens of celebrity parents there.
Nick: Yeah, I'm Super-psyched about it.
Planner: No! No, no, no! No phones! Oh, I-I gotta go.
Uh, sorry, I just S-s-s-stop! Stop.
No, no, no.
You can't take off your head in front of the children.
But the children are around all the time.
Well, Chuck never breaks character.
So? I'm not Do you see that girl right there? This is the most important day of her life.
Today she leaves childhood behind and she becomes a woman.
Nick: If she is a woman, then she knows full well there's a man inside this bunny costume, who's sweating and would love to take his head off.
You take the head off, you don't get paid.
Detective: All right, give Dr.
mcdreamy here his phone call.
Charlotte: He didn't do it! Connor:Charlotte, what are you-? Charlotte:He didn't burn his house down.
Detective: How do you know? Because I did.
Charlotte: It was me.
I set the fire.
That's not what your brother says.
Charlotte:He's always been over-protective.
Let me guess, he's probably saying that- Connor: She's lying! She had nothing to do with it! It was me! I set the fire! Detective:That's not what you said before.
Well, I was lying before! Detective: Why'd you set it? A lot of reasons.
I suffer from depression, among other things.
Connor: Why would she set my house on fire? That doesn't make any sense! What does she have to gain? Charlotte: Mostly I just wanted to watch it burn.
Sometimes the only way I can let go is to release something that feels more out of control than I do.
What did my brother say? Insurance money? (Inaudible conversation) Mark: Hey, man, get back to work.
Can I talk to you about the new drink special? Raquel: Mm-hmm.
Hey, is Manny running scrips? Scripts? Like What, do you mean screenwriting? No, "scrips" scrips.
Like is he a "pharmacist"? What do you mean? A drug dealer - is he a drug dealer? Does he deal drugs? Uh, no, I don't think so.
More importantly, is he dealing drugs in here? No.
Where is this coming from? The guy makes $8 dollars an hour plus tip-out, how can he afford that spaceship sitting outside? Well, I'm sure it's a lot more practical than it looks.
You know, it probably gets great mileage.
(Sighs) No, it doesn't add up.
You don't think he's stealing from me? No.
(Laughs) Manny stealing? Come on, no.
Look, no.
Mm-mm.
Something's not right.
Nails and lipstick just a quick fix guaranteed to make you shine shine on the surface Nick: Oh hey, kids! Do you wanna Right.
Hey, Chuck, you feeling okay? You gotta get in there, man, mix it up.
Oh, ah, I'm not Chuck.
I'm just filling in for the day.
Magician: Oh.
(Laughs) Sorry.
Nice to meet you.
You like magic? Nick: Uh Wow.
Cool.
Magician: Jeff the incredible.
So you gonna be the new Mr.
barnsworth p.
Bunnyton from now on? Nick: No! No, no, no, I'm just I'm filling in for the day.
Magician: Yeah, that's how I got started, filling in for a friend.
That was seven years ago.
Have you met Francis yet? Nick:Why is he staring at me like that? Magician: Because clowns are on their way out (raises his voice) And he knows it! He's the past, we're the future Mitzvah-wize.
Think of a card.
Ace of spades.
Nick: (Dryly) Yup.
Beth: So Taylor seems beautiful.
How long did you guys go out for? Four years? And when did you break up? Six seven months ago? Wow, so recent.
What happened? Taylor'sExhausting - in a number of ways.
Ah.
Uh, not like that.
I mean She's exhausting emotionally.
Uh-huh.
How old is she? She's like twenty-three, and she's already going after her phd, and giving lectures? Uh, yeah, I guess.
How can you like someone like her and someone like me? I mean, you're clearly still into her, I'm not- by the way.
You're both smart.
What is this? What am I to you? Is this serious or is this just convenient? What part of our relationship has been convenient so far? Okay, yes, I am still attracted to Taylor She's attractive.
And a cuckoo-bird - she's crazy.
I broke up with her because I wanted to break up with her.
Where is this coming from? What am I doing here, cam? (Knocking) Professor raynor: Cam! Cam: Hey! Thanks so much for seeing us, Dr.
raynor.
Professor raynor: No problem.
You must be Beth.
Yeah.
Dr.
raynor: You know, the way he described you I thought you'd be taller.
He said you had some questions I might be able to answer? Yeah.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Court clerk: Okay.
If you both just sign and date here, and here And just initial here, and here That should just about do it.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Sorry.
All right.
Once I file the paperwork your marriage will be null and void.
Great.
Court clerk: Relax.
People make mistakes.
Abby: Oh, no, I don't think it was a mistake, really, as much as, you know, we just kinda rushed into That'll be five hundred dollars.
(Clears throat) Abby: Do you? Gray: Yeah, no, I do.
Dawna: Sean? Hey.
They called as soon as I got into work.
I'm so sorry.
How is he? They don't know.
He hasn't woken up.
They're running tests.
How are you? I don't know.
I'm sorry, I should've called you.
Dawna: I missed you.
Christopher: Hey.
This is all they had.
(Sighs) This is dawna.
Hi.
I'm Christopher.
Nice to meet you.
(Tearful sigh) I uh I'm sorry, I don't I just um I thought Okay, I don't know what I thought.
I hope Walter's okay.
Bye, Sean.
It was nice meeting you.
Yeah, you too.
I'm gonna take a walk.
Nurse: Mr.
Kiing? Your father's awake.
Manny: You hit it just right, you don't even need to use the clutch to shift.
Raquel: Hey, Manny, can I talk to you for a second over here, please? Manny: Sup wasteland? I always got time for you.
What the hell are you doing? Talkin' to Zeus? You know what I'm talking about.
What're you doing driving that car here?! I got tired of taking the bus.
You give me all this talk about how safe and low-profile this credit card scam is and you show up driving the time machine from back to the future! What're you doing playing footsies with the guy we're stealing from?! First of all, we're not stealing from him, we're stealing from his customers! No! And second I am not playing "footsies" with You might as well be! Tell him that's not your car! But it is my car.
Tell him it's not your car.
Fine! You keep it in your pants! Fine.
He suspicious, okay? That's all.
So make him unsuspicious.
What? You want out? No.
I want a bigger cut.
If you can afford that car off of this scam, I want more than $25 bucks a card.
Fine.
Forty.
Fifty.
Fine.
Detective: Sit down.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
Detective: Talking to you separately doesn't seem to be working, so let's all have a big conversation together and see if we can't get our stories straight.
Charlotte: It was me.
I don't know why you keep covering for me.
Charlotte, stop- enough! Now, one of you torched the house, and one of you is obstructing justice.
Come clean right now and I'll drop the obstruction charge.
Don't, and you're both going to jail.
Connor: Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do for me, i really do, but there's no point in us both getting in trouble.
Just tell him the truth.
(Door opens) Dale Roberts: Stop talking.
Detective: Do you mind? Detective: I'm in the middle of an interrogation- stop talking to them.
Excuse me? Dale Roberts: I'm their lawyer.
This is over.
I think people do what they do for a reason, okay, and we got married.
On a whim though.
We didn't think it through.
Yeah! Absolutely! One hundred percent! Okay, but admit it.
Part of you was happy this morning when you woke up with that ring - a hell of a lot happier than you are sitting in this truck right now.
Maybe a little bit.
I leave for another tour tomorrow.
What if we just stayed married while I'm gone? That's crazy.
Is it though? You could get your green card, I'd get a bigger paycheck Half of which I'd send to you every month.
Let the air force pay the bills, you just focus on acting.
What happens when you get back? We buy a house with a fence and have a bunch of kids? I don't know.
I mean, we just We figure that out then.
You keep this ring And you think about me, cuz I'm gonna be thinking about you.
Maybe it was a mistake to get married this quick, but I know, sitting here looking at you right now, that getting unmarried would be a way bigger one.
So what do you say? (Circus music plays) Nick: So I'm having sex with this girl and she informs me that the only way she can have an orgasm is if I choke her.
Stop! You are in a bunny suit! You gotta do Chuck's material! Chuck told me I could do my own material! You cannot, sir.
You cannot.
He didn't leave you a set list? Yeah, yeah, he left me set list.
You wanna see his set list? Here it is! Raccoons, me and Santa, flippity-flop.
What am I supposed to do with this? I don't know, but you cannot go out there and tell jokes about sexual asphyxiation to a bunch of 12-year-olds! (Smattering of applause) Magician: Francis is done.
You gotta get out there.
Nick: Wait! I don't have any material? What do you want me to do? Listen, it's not my problem.
Don't do magic.
Ladies and gentleman, girls and boys, direct from carrotsberg, north hareolina, please put your paws together for The wacky joke-stylings of Mr.
barnsworth p.
Bunnyton! (Kids applaud and cheer) Magician: Hop! Hop! Nick: Thanks.
Thank you (Mouths "go") Okay, so the other day, I'm having Milkshake the other day With this girl and she informs me the only way she can enjoy her milkshake is if I'm holding her hand.
(Kids chuckle and snicker) Uh so I'm holding her hand and it's not going great But in my defense, what about this suggests "good at hand holding"? (Kids laugh) I mean if you're gonna cast your fantasy hand-holder, why would you pick a James Franco-looking bunny rabbit? Uh, and not a dimply, Justin bieber? (Kids cheer and applaud) Yeah! Or uh The vampire show guy? (Kids cheer) Yeah! There it is! Now imagine those two holding hands! (Kids cheer and applaud) You guys know what I'm talking about! Beth:Thank you so much, Professor raynor! Thank you! I'll see ya! That guy is amazing! Right? I can't believe all the things that he's done with his life! And he still finds time to write books? He's so cool and smart and funny and sexy.
Hey! Easy.
Are they all like that? Well, Professor raynor's on another level, but everyone else is pretty amazing in their own way.
Cam, why are you doing this to me? Why are you torturing me like this? Even if I could get in, and even if I could somehow Beth- figure out child care, how could I ever afford tuition like ever? Oddly enough, they have a whole department devoted to helping you figure that out.
(Sighs) I just I just can't picture it.
I can't picture actually being a student here.
Come with me, I wanna show you something.
Come on, get in.
Where are we going? You'll see.
Can you picture it now? Beth: Oh my God! Cam: I know, so many boring things to memorize.
Beth:Can we go to the periodical section? Yeah, sure.
Beth: Isn't this amazing! Cam: Yeah, everyone else clearly thinks so.
I wanna show you something.
Is it a book? What're you doing? Did you bring your camera? My phone has a camera.
Wait - you're not just doing this to compete with Taylor, are you? Do you honestly care? No.
No, I don't.
Nick: You know why? It's the Kids: The United States of bananas! Nick: All right, thank you! That's my time! I'm bunny p.
Bunnerson or whatever! Hey, thanks! You guys have a great night! (Kids cheer and applaud) You did it, man! Hey, you better get back out there before they start tearing the place apart.
Go! I don't have any new material, so I can't- go! Okay! (Kids cheer and applaud loudly) I think of all my bags, my favourite bag is the one bag I keep under the sink.
(Kids chuckle) And all the other bags know it's my favourite because they have to inside it.
(Kids laugh) So their like, "man, next time bunny needs to take a banana and a juice box somewhere, I'm a goner! (Kids laugh) But look at that old miracle mart bag He ain't even scared! (Kids cheer and applaud) (Laughs) Right?! Right?! Hey, Walter.
Hey.
It's Sean, your son.
You had a stroke.
The doctor said the right side of your body is paralyzed.
It's affected your speech, so you can't talk right now.
But hopefully That's okay.
You rest, I'll talk.
There's something I need to tell you.
(Takes a deep breath, then sighs) Dawna came by, she told me to make sure I told you that.
(Tearful) She says she loves you.
Nick: Ooh! Perfect! Thanks, girls! Okay.
Bye! Thank you.
Thank you now.
See ya! Here you go.
Five hundred bucks - worth every penny.
What? Five- five hundred dollars?! I haven't made this much money doing stand-up comedy ever.
They usually pay me in drink tickets.
How great for you.
It is! Thank you! Hey! You know, I can talk to the people who run these things.
We can get you in the regular rotation if you like.
- Yeah?! - Yeah.
You have to sign this exclusivity thing, but after that the money just starts rolling in.
Well, I don't know if I can do that.
I'm still trying to actually Look, look.
When I started out, I thought I was gonna be the next Jason latimer, Andrew goldenhirsh, or Shawn farquhar.
I don't know any of those But at a certain point, I realized Maybe I'm not world class, you know? And once I realized that, and committed to this mitzvah circuit, oh, my life got a whole lot easier.
So what I'm saying is, maybe you set aside your dreams of being the next Jeff Dunham or Terry factor Those are both ventriloquists.
Just settle into the life you're meant to have Barnsworth p.
Bunnyton, bunny comedian.
Hmm? Feels so good why can't I talk to you So we- so we can just leave? Dale Roberts: They don't have anything.
The sheriff here is a friend of the church.
He doesn't like to see its members needlessly harassed.
I don't know how to thank you.
Dale Roberts: No thanks needed.
Your problems are our problems; that's how it works.
Okay, what do we have here? Charlotte: Hey, let's get out of here.
Abby: Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! We changed our minds! But you already changed your mind.
Yeah, well, we're changing it back.
I'm sorry, but it's too late, you already signed the forms.
Abby: These forms? Well, can't you just pretend we never signed them? You want to annul your annulment? Abby: Yes! That's exactly what we wanna do! I don't think I'm allowed to do (Rips forms up) There: Annulment annulled.
A lot of those weren't yours.
nothing to do with the clothes you wear Manny: Yo, wasteland.
Your raise - instated retroactively.
Thank you.
The car is used, all right? It's not as expensive as it looks.
But I shouldn't have brought it here.
Well, I'll try and stop "playing footsie"" with the boss Not that we were doing that.
Are we good? We're good.
See you tomorrow.
(Knocking) Raquel: Hi.
Mark: Hey! I'm gonna head out.
Okay.
So, you still think Manny's stealing? Oh, no.
Turns out it was his cousin's car and he was just showing off.
I was being paranoid.
Yeah? Even about the "scrips"? Shut up.
No, I think that the kitchen staff is cooking meth in there after hours I am sorry.
I thought I was cool there for a sec.
Well, you are not.
Understood.
It's not the game, it's how you play it (Door bangs shut) (Exhales) Kaldrick: I couldn't do it.
I couldn't tell him.
Christopher: You will.
Kaldrick: And I should have told you about dawna.
Yeah, you should have.
But under the circumstances, I'm gonna give you a get-out-of-jail-free card.
You're lucky your old man's in the hospital.
I wish I could kiss you right now.
Me too.
Rook: Yo, Kal.
Kaldrick: What you doing here? We need to talk.
What's my favourite Colour? Red.
What are my parents' names? Paul and Stella.
When's my birthday? October fourth.
When's mine? SeptemberEighth? Yup.
What's my favourite movie? "Top gun".
I'm just joking - "it's a wonderful life".
Yeah, it is, but what's my favourite movie? Oh, that's lame.
When's our anniversary? Today.
Yeah.
Sabrina: Hey! How was your day? Um, actually I had a callback! They brought me back for the will arnett sketch show! What? That's I'm sorry I was such a downer this morning.
You were right, they totally loved me, and they only brought back fifteen of us and I was one of them, and I destroyed it! That's amazing.
Okay, I'm done spazzing now.
How was your big fancy gig? Did you dazzle the network executive guy? (Sighs) Yeah.
I think I really made an impression.
This is so great.
It's really happening, Nick! It's happening for both of us! Can you believe it? No.
I can't.
Sorry about your pops.
Why are you here, rook? (Sighs) Come here.
(Sighs heavily) I messed up.
I shoulda never started working with infinite when we fell out.
It was a big mistake.
Man's gotta eat, right? I mean the kid's a punk, but I guess he got a little potential.
Nah, see, it wasn't even like that.
So when I heard what he did to your car, I thought if I stayed close to him, then I could watch him, make sure he didn't do anything else.
It didn't exactly work out that way.
Last night, in the studio, he started recording this track calling you out, talking all kinds of nonsense.
And when I shut it down, and I wouldn't let him, things kinda went sideways.
Sideways how? I got back to my crib He had torn it apart.
He took anything that looked like it was worth something, even something I took from you when I left.
What the hell you take from me? The hard drive.
That night at the studio With tariq.
You know, I was mad at Walter I thought I don't even know what I thought.
Did you watch it? Did you watch it? Man, I've known you since we were four years old.
I didn't need to watch it.
just a paper cut So now you're telling me infinite's got it.
Yeah.
I messed up, man.
I know it.
I'm sorry, man.
Beth: Okay, but if I go, (Cam's phone buzzes) What courses should I take? What would you take if you were me? Kevin: Beth! Beth! They have Simon! Beth: What?! Simon: Beth! Beth! Beth: What? Hey! Hey! Stop! Who was that? Who took him?! Eddie: Child protective services.
Kevin: They showed me their badges, I didn't know what to do! Connor: Here is to my sister, the bravest person that I know.
I told you, I don't drink.
Come on, come on, you have to have just one drink, celebrate our victory! I can't! Okay, all right.
Fine, I'll have yours.
Mm! I don't know how to thank you for what you did today.
I mean it.
No one's Nobody's ever stood up for me like that.
Connor, there's no one else in the entire world I care more about than you.
What? I've just never felt this close to someone before.
I love you, Charlotte.
I love you, too.
A.
Complex": Investigator: I'm the insurance investigator assigned to your case.
Connor: Can I give you my number? Oh, I've got your number.
I know a way you can make a lot of money real fast.
I pay you $25 dollars, every card you swipe.
We're making a movie, do you wanna be in it? - Do you die at the end? - Yes.
When do we start? Admit it, you miss this a little bit.
You signed me up to take the S.
A.
T.
's? - Who are you? - I'm your sister.
It breaks my heart to think that you're not living your ideal life.
I wanna help you do that.
How? I'm with the church of scienetics.
I'm in.
I'm not Simon's legal guardian.
Dad! Put him down! Please! Dean: This is for his own good.
Put the boy down.
Dean: Okay.
Buddy What're you doing? I need more than 4000 minutes.
Dynasty:The studio has security cameras.
They record everything all onto one little hard drive.
Kaldrick: What the hell you doing here? Rook: He's with me.
I wanna do this, you and me.
Who is it? We probably shouldn't be doing this.
It's a terrible idea.
Cam: Aaaaand cut.
You guys killed that! Cam: Okay, I wanna go one more time.
Connor and Raquel: Why? Uh, let's just do a loose one, see what you guys find.
He can't do loose takes.
Connor: Play arou- Cam: Good.
Ready? Play around.
Okay.
Cam: Aaaand action.
Whenever you're ready.
What? You're so beautiful.
Detective: Connor Lake? Connor: Yeah? Uh, what the hell is this? Detective: Connor Lake, you're under arrest for arson and insurance fraud.
You have the right to remain silent.
If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Christopher: Here.
Anyone come by to give you an update? Not yet.
Let's sit.
(Sighs) Thank you.
It's a fifty-cent cup of hospital coffee.
No.
Thank you for being here.
Your dad just had a stroke.
Where else would I be? Nurse: Mr.
Kiing? Kaldrick: How is he? Without more tests, it's hard to say.
Then why aren't you doin' those tests? Your father's insurance provider is refusing to cover his care.
They're claiming he missed a payment.
The hospital needs proof his bill can be paid before we continue to treat him.
Christopher: The man's in a coma Kaldrick: You want proof? Do you know who I am? Do you? Here, you want proof? Here's your proof.
Take that.
I am just doing my job, sir.
Your job is to take care of my father! He needs something, you get it for him.
This is not some bum off the streets! Matter of fact, get him his own room.
I don't want him sharing a room with these other people.
He shouldn't be moved right now.
Then move them! Get them another room! This one belongs to Walter Dougan.
Christopher: Kal! Kal! Kal! Kaldrick: The hell is wrong with you?! Christopher: Stop! Just let me handle this.
I apologize for his behaviour.
He's obviously very upset.
But I assure you it's in your best interest to provide this patient with the highest level of care available.
Do you really wanna be the reason this hospital gets sued? You wanna help me with this? Charlotte: What do you mean? Where did they take him? All:(Talking all at once) Uh well they um You didn't ask? (Talking over one another) One of you didn't go with him? I mean, it all happened pretty quickly I think we just need to concentrate on what to do now.
I'll handle it.
Raquel: I get that you're upset - I'm upset also Charlotte: I'll handle it! (Door bangs shut) I guess she's gonna handle it.
Hi, this is Charlotte Lake.
I need to speak to Roxanne.
Can you try calling me? (Phone rings) Dammit! Who is it? Is it Nick? Ugh! Let it go to voicemail.
These Will Arnett sketch-show jerks said I would hear today if I was moving on and I still haven't heard yet.
Nick: Well, you know, it's today all day, right? Maybe let them eat breakfast before you start calling them jerks.
Sabrina: I didn't get it.
I did all new material because of my bad back and I just- I blew it.
I watched your whole set from the wings.
You tore it up out there.
Sabrina: I don't have a job, my parents cut me off, my bank account is plummeting.
Nick, what am I doing? You're freaking out! Relax.
We don't need to worry about money We both still have checks coming from the PFT show, right? Plus this gig I'm doing for Chuck today apparently pays really well.
So what is this gig? It's uh just a private party for some network executive.
It's his birthday or something.
Oh God.
I'm gonna be sitting around watching my prospects dry up while you're schmoozing with a room full of greenlighters.
Hey You're gonna get it.
Meanwhile Let me be the breadwinner today.
(Sighs heavily) At least your back's feeling better.
Connor: I didn't do anything! Detective: Then this should be easy.
Did you or did you not set fire to your home for the purpose of making an insurance claim.
I did not.
Detective:But you did set fire to your home? Connor: No! Uh (Sighs) Not on purpose.
It was an accident.
Detective: Why didn't you try putting it out? I did.
Not with the fire extinguisher in your kitchen you didn't.
And why were you drinking a beer on the front lawn when first responders arrived? It was hot.
In your statement you claimed the fire started while you were making tea.
It was less hot then.
So after your kitchen exploded into flames you moved towards the fridge, away from the exit, to grab a beer? It's illegal to have bad judgment? Why didn't you call 911? My phone was dead.
Detective: You're an actor, right? My wife watches you on that show.
I can't stand it, but she says you're pretty good.
Real believable.
I'm on a tv show! You think that's gonna help you? Connor: No.
I have money.
Why would I commit insurance fraud? It doesn't make any sense.
You're the star of a network tv series and you live in a long-stay motel.
Patrons at a bar, earlier in the year, witnessed you instigate a fight that got you thirty stitches and almost cost you an eye.
Do these sound like the actions of someone who's concerned with making sense? I want a lawyer.
You okay, buddy? Dad's not very grown up for a grown-up, is he? (Knock at the door) Beth: Who is it? Cam: Hey, it's just us.
How you guys doing? We've been better.
Kevin: Wanna help me make a movie? Can I steal him? (Clears throat) Bad choice of words.
Sure.
Kevin: How do you feel about wearing a dog suit? Simon: What type of dog? I have something that might cheer you up.
Oh really? And what's that? S.
A.
T.
Results came.
Oh God! No? Not Not cheering you? No, I don't wanna I can't open it.
Okay.
I don't- cam! Oh my God! I got nineteen-hundred.
I got nineteen hundred on my s.
A.
T.
'S! Oh my God! (Cam laughs) I knew you'd own that thing! Well, what do I do now? Go to college? (Laughs) Yeah.
I'm serious.
(Gasps) No! Oh my God! You should get some sleep.
I don't wanna sleep.
What if he dies? He's not going to.
But what if he does? He still has no idea who I am.
Christopher:So tell him, as soon as he wakes up.
What did we do?! We got married.
Abby:You think I don't know that we got married?! I know we got married! I'm asking why? Why did we get married?! Because we wanna spend the rest of our lives together? I don't even know your last name! It's Sanders, okay? And technically it's your last name now too.
Unless you wanna keep your own name, 'cause that's fine.
I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
Whoa! Hey, look, all I did was propose.
I mean, you're the one who suggested the road trip to Vegas.
Yeah, after we had three bottles of champagne and you gave me your whole I-need-more-than-4000-minutes line! What are we gonna do? Go on our honeymoon? I'm serious, Gray! Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Come here, please? What do you wanna do? Do you really think that we can do this? (Sighs) We did do this.
When's my birthday? What's my favourite movie? What foods do I like? I don't know, tell me.
We don't know each other.
I like you and I might even love you, but this is a mistake.
Charlotte: Hi, this is Charlotte Lake.
I called earlier about my brother's arrest, and I was wondering if Well, can I talk to Roxanne? I really Well, can you just pull her out of the adjust? Don't you think this is a little more important than No, I can't hold, my brother's just been arrested! Shouldn't you be shooting the movie with Kevin today? Nah! Raquel has to work.
Kevin's just gonna grab a bunch of little shots around the Lux.
What's the point of this? I can't go to college, it doesn't matter how good my test scores are.
There's no harm in looking, right? Right.
Taylor: Cameron? Cameron! Cam: Taylor! Taylor: Hi! Cam: What're you doing here? I got back from Brazil last semester.
I'm doing my phd here! What?! That's crazy! Good for you.
Thank you.
(Awkward laugh) Sorry, Taylor, this is my girlfriend, Beth.
Beth, this is Taylor His first girlfriend.
Hey, I had girlfriends before you.
Taylor: Oh, sorry, I thought "girl he lost his virginity to" would make everyone uncomfortable.
Well, thank God you didn't say that.
(Awkward laughter) What are you studying? Taylor: I'm doing my dissertation on pornography and sexual politics in the age of universal access.
Wow.
Cool.
Whatever happened to submission in the modern marriage? I got bored.
What about you? Still making movies? Cam: Um, yeah, well, you know Trying.
Are they like the movies we used to make? Cam:Uh no.
(Awkward laugh) No, no, they're different than those.
I'm just showing Beth around.
She's thinking of going here.
We're dating.
Yeah.
I'm thinking of studying English.
Oh, well, you'll have such a great time here.
Cameron sure did.
But, uh, I should go, I'm late for a lecture.
Whose class? Mine.
Anyway, it was really nice to meet you.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Bye, Cameron.
Bye.
(Clears throat) So campus tour? Yeah.
Good morning.
Yup.
Mark: Or not What's wrong? One of my friends just got arrested.
For what? Arson and insurance fraud? (Laughs) (Laughs) Sorry, that's not appropriate.
No, I don't know what the appropriate reaction is.
Well, are you okay? Do you need to leave? How close are you? He's an ex-boyfriend.
Well, I think he's guilty.
He has family taking care of it.
I think I just need to keep busy.
I can keep you busy.
With restaurant-things, I meant.
I meant restaurant-things, I swear.
(Dull thud of loud thumping music) What? Manny: Sup.
Raquel: Sup.
Did I give him a raise I don't know about? Sabrina: There's no space in here! This is not a room for two people! Nick: Hello? Sabrina: And did you know you have a whole drawer full of workout gear? Who are you kidding? We're throwing this out.
Nick: Hey, hey, hey! Sabrina: You need to buy more shelves! You need to buy more shelves, you need a dresser, or Nic:Okay, calm down.
I'll buy you a dresser.
Oh! Everything's so easy for you.
Nick: What is this about? Nothing! You sound weird.
How's it going? Has the network guy got you your own pilot yet? Nick:Turns out it's his daughter's bat mitzvah.
Ugh! That's almost better.
There's probably dozens of celebrity parents there.
Nick: Yeah, I'm Super-psyched about it.
Planner: No! No, no, no! No phones! Oh, I-I gotta go.
Uh, sorry, I just S-s-s-stop! Stop.
No, no, no.
You can't take off your head in front of the children.
But the children are around all the time.
Well, Chuck never breaks character.
So? I'm not Do you see that girl right there? This is the most important day of her life.
Today she leaves childhood behind and she becomes a woman.
Nick: If she is a woman, then she knows full well there's a man inside this bunny costume, who's sweating and would love to take his head off.
You take the head off, you don't get paid.
Detective: All right, give Dr.
mcdreamy here his phone call.
Charlotte: He didn't do it! Connor:Charlotte, what are you-? Charlotte:He didn't burn his house down.
Detective: How do you know? Because I did.
Charlotte: It was me.
I set the fire.
That's not what your brother says.
Charlotte:He's always been over-protective.
Let me guess, he's probably saying that- Connor: She's lying! She had nothing to do with it! It was me! I set the fire! Detective:That's not what you said before.
Well, I was lying before! Detective: Why'd you set it? A lot of reasons.
I suffer from depression, among other things.
Connor: Why would she set my house on fire? That doesn't make any sense! What does she have to gain? Charlotte: Mostly I just wanted to watch it burn.
Sometimes the only way I can let go is to release something that feels more out of control than I do.
What did my brother say? Insurance money? (Inaudible conversation) Mark: Hey, man, get back to work.
Can I talk to you about the new drink special? Raquel: Mm-hmm.
Hey, is Manny running scrips? Scripts? Like What, do you mean screenwriting? No, "scrips" scrips.
Like is he a "pharmacist"? What do you mean? A drug dealer - is he a drug dealer? Does he deal drugs? Uh, no, I don't think so.
More importantly, is he dealing drugs in here? No.
Where is this coming from? The guy makes $8 dollars an hour plus tip-out, how can he afford that spaceship sitting outside? Well, I'm sure it's a lot more practical than it looks.
You know, it probably gets great mileage.
(Sighs) No, it doesn't add up.
You don't think he's stealing from me? No.
(Laughs) Manny stealing? Come on, no.
Look, no.
Mm-mm.
Something's not right.
Nails and lipstick just a quick fix guaranteed to make you shine shine on the surface Nick: Oh hey, kids! Do you wanna Right.
Hey, Chuck, you feeling okay? You gotta get in there, man, mix it up.
Oh, ah, I'm not Chuck.
I'm just filling in for the day.
Magician: Oh.
(Laughs) Sorry.
Nice to meet you.
You like magic? Nick: Uh Wow.
Cool.
Magician: Jeff the incredible.
So you gonna be the new Mr.
barnsworth p.
Bunnyton from now on? Nick: No! No, no, no, I'm just I'm filling in for the day.
Magician: Yeah, that's how I got started, filling in for a friend.
That was seven years ago.
Have you met Francis yet? Nick:Why is he staring at me like that? Magician: Because clowns are on their way out (raises his voice) And he knows it! He's the past, we're the future Mitzvah-wize.
Think of a card.
Ace of spades.
Nick: (Dryly) Yup.
Beth: So Taylor seems beautiful.
How long did you guys go out for? Four years? And when did you break up? Six seven months ago? Wow, so recent.
What happened? Taylor'sExhausting - in a number of ways.
Ah.
Uh, not like that.
I mean She's exhausting emotionally.
Uh-huh.
How old is she? She's like twenty-three, and she's already going after her phd, and giving lectures? Uh, yeah, I guess.
How can you like someone like her and someone like me? I mean, you're clearly still into her, I'm not- by the way.
You're both smart.
What is this? What am I to you? Is this serious or is this just convenient? What part of our relationship has been convenient so far? Okay, yes, I am still attracted to Taylor She's attractive.
And a cuckoo-bird - she's crazy.
I broke up with her because I wanted to break up with her.
Where is this coming from? What am I doing here, cam? (Knocking) Professor raynor: Cam! Cam: Hey! Thanks so much for seeing us, Dr.
raynor.
Professor raynor: No problem.
You must be Beth.
Yeah.
Dr.
raynor: You know, the way he described you I thought you'd be taller.
He said you had some questions I might be able to answer? Yeah.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Court clerk: Okay.
If you both just sign and date here, and here And just initial here, and here That should just about do it.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Sorry.
All right.
Once I file the paperwork your marriage will be null and void.
Great.
Court clerk: Relax.
People make mistakes.
Abby: Oh, no, I don't think it was a mistake, really, as much as, you know, we just kinda rushed into That'll be five hundred dollars.
(Clears throat) Abby: Do you? Gray: Yeah, no, I do.
Dawna: Sean? Hey.
They called as soon as I got into work.
I'm so sorry.
How is he? They don't know.
He hasn't woken up.
They're running tests.
How are you? I don't know.
I'm sorry, I should've called you.
Dawna: I missed you.
Christopher: Hey.
This is all they had.
(Sighs) This is dawna.
Hi.
I'm Christopher.
Nice to meet you.
(Tearful sigh) I uh I'm sorry, I don't I just um I thought Okay, I don't know what I thought.
I hope Walter's okay.
Bye, Sean.
It was nice meeting you.
Yeah, you too.
I'm gonna take a walk.
Nurse: Mr.
Kiing? Your father's awake.
Manny: You hit it just right, you don't even need to use the clutch to shift.
Raquel: Hey, Manny, can I talk to you for a second over here, please? Manny: Sup wasteland? I always got time for you.
What the hell are you doing? Talkin' to Zeus? You know what I'm talking about.
What're you doing driving that car here?! I got tired of taking the bus.
You give me all this talk about how safe and low-profile this credit card scam is and you show up driving the time machine from back to the future! What're you doing playing footsies with the guy we're stealing from?! First of all, we're not stealing from him, we're stealing from his customers! No! And second I am not playing "footsies" with You might as well be! Tell him that's not your car! But it is my car.
Tell him it's not your car.
Fine! You keep it in your pants! Fine.
He suspicious, okay? That's all.
So make him unsuspicious.
What? You want out? No.
I want a bigger cut.
If you can afford that car off of this scam, I want more than $25 bucks a card.
Fine.
Forty.
Fifty.
Fine.
Detective: Sit down.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
Detective: Talking to you separately doesn't seem to be working, so let's all have a big conversation together and see if we can't get our stories straight.
Charlotte: It was me.
I don't know why you keep covering for me.
Charlotte, stop- enough! Now, one of you torched the house, and one of you is obstructing justice.
Come clean right now and I'll drop the obstruction charge.
Don't, and you're both going to jail.
Connor: Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do for me, i really do, but there's no point in us both getting in trouble.
Just tell him the truth.
(Door opens) Dale Roberts: Stop talking.
Detective: Do you mind? Detective: I'm in the middle of an interrogation- stop talking to them.
Excuse me? Dale Roberts: I'm their lawyer.
This is over.
I think people do what they do for a reason, okay, and we got married.
On a whim though.
We didn't think it through.
Yeah! Absolutely! One hundred percent! Okay, but admit it.
Part of you was happy this morning when you woke up with that ring - a hell of a lot happier than you are sitting in this truck right now.
Maybe a little bit.
I leave for another tour tomorrow.
What if we just stayed married while I'm gone? That's crazy.
Is it though? You could get your green card, I'd get a bigger paycheck Half of which I'd send to you every month.
Let the air force pay the bills, you just focus on acting.
What happens when you get back? We buy a house with a fence and have a bunch of kids? I don't know.
I mean, we just We figure that out then.
You keep this ring And you think about me, cuz I'm gonna be thinking about you.
Maybe it was a mistake to get married this quick, but I know, sitting here looking at you right now, that getting unmarried would be a way bigger one.
So what do you say? (Circus music plays) Nick: So I'm having sex with this girl and she informs me that the only way she can have an orgasm is if I choke her.
Stop! You are in a bunny suit! You gotta do Chuck's material! Chuck told me I could do my own material! You cannot, sir.
You cannot.
He didn't leave you a set list? Yeah, yeah, he left me set list.
You wanna see his set list? Here it is! Raccoons, me and Santa, flippity-flop.
What am I supposed to do with this? I don't know, but you cannot go out there and tell jokes about sexual asphyxiation to a bunch of 12-year-olds! (Smattering of applause) Magician: Francis is done.
You gotta get out there.
Nick: Wait! I don't have any material? What do you want me to do? Listen, it's not my problem.
Don't do magic.
Ladies and gentleman, girls and boys, direct from carrotsberg, north hareolina, please put your paws together for The wacky joke-stylings of Mr.
barnsworth p.
Bunnyton! (Kids applaud and cheer) Magician: Hop! Hop! Nick: Thanks.
Thank you (Mouths "go") Okay, so the other day, I'm having Milkshake the other day With this girl and she informs me the only way she can enjoy her milkshake is if I'm holding her hand.
(Kids chuckle and snicker) Uh so I'm holding her hand and it's not going great But in my defense, what about this suggests "good at hand holding"? (Kids laugh) I mean if you're gonna cast your fantasy hand-holder, why would you pick a James Franco-looking bunny rabbit? Uh, and not a dimply, Justin bieber? (Kids cheer and applaud) Yeah! Or uh The vampire show guy? (Kids cheer) Yeah! There it is! Now imagine those two holding hands! (Kids cheer and applaud) You guys know what I'm talking about! Beth:Thank you so much, Professor raynor! Thank you! I'll see ya! That guy is amazing! Right? I can't believe all the things that he's done with his life! And he still finds time to write books? He's so cool and smart and funny and sexy.
Hey! Easy.
Are they all like that? Well, Professor raynor's on another level, but everyone else is pretty amazing in their own way.
Cam, why are you doing this to me? Why are you torturing me like this? Even if I could get in, and even if I could somehow Beth- figure out child care, how could I ever afford tuition like ever? Oddly enough, they have a whole department devoted to helping you figure that out.
(Sighs) I just I just can't picture it.
I can't picture actually being a student here.
Come with me, I wanna show you something.
Come on, get in.
Where are we going? You'll see.
Can you picture it now? Beth: Oh my God! Cam: I know, so many boring things to memorize.
Beth:Can we go to the periodical section? Yeah, sure.
Beth: Isn't this amazing! Cam: Yeah, everyone else clearly thinks so.
I wanna show you something.
Is it a book? What're you doing? Did you bring your camera? My phone has a camera.
Wait - you're not just doing this to compete with Taylor, are you? Do you honestly care? No.
No, I don't.
Nick: You know why? It's the Kids: The United States of bananas! Nick: All right, thank you! That's my time! I'm bunny p.
Bunnerson or whatever! Hey, thanks! You guys have a great night! (Kids cheer and applaud) You did it, man! Hey, you better get back out there before they start tearing the place apart.
Go! I don't have any new material, so I can't- go! Okay! (Kids cheer and applaud loudly) I think of all my bags, my favourite bag is the one bag I keep under the sink.
(Kids chuckle) And all the other bags know it's my favourite because they have to inside it.
(Kids laugh) So their like, "man, next time bunny needs to take a banana and a juice box somewhere, I'm a goner! (Kids laugh) But look at that old miracle mart bag He ain't even scared! (Kids cheer and applaud) (Laughs) Right?! Right?! Hey, Walter.
Hey.
It's Sean, your son.
You had a stroke.
The doctor said the right side of your body is paralyzed.
It's affected your speech, so you can't talk right now.
But hopefully That's okay.
You rest, I'll talk.
There's something I need to tell you.
(Takes a deep breath, then sighs) Dawna came by, she told me to make sure I told you that.
(Tearful) She says she loves you.
Nick: Ooh! Perfect! Thanks, girls! Okay.
Bye! Thank you.
Thank you now.
See ya! Here you go.
Five hundred bucks - worth every penny.
What? Five- five hundred dollars?! I haven't made this much money doing stand-up comedy ever.
They usually pay me in drink tickets.
How great for you.
It is! Thank you! Hey! You know, I can talk to the people who run these things.
We can get you in the regular rotation if you like.
- Yeah?! - Yeah.
You have to sign this exclusivity thing, but after that the money just starts rolling in.
Well, I don't know if I can do that.
I'm still trying to actually Look, look.
When I started out, I thought I was gonna be the next Jason latimer, Andrew goldenhirsh, or Shawn farquhar.
I don't know any of those But at a certain point, I realized Maybe I'm not world class, you know? And once I realized that, and committed to this mitzvah circuit, oh, my life got a whole lot easier.
So what I'm saying is, maybe you set aside your dreams of being the next Jeff Dunham or Terry factor Those are both ventriloquists.
Just settle into the life you're meant to have Barnsworth p.
Bunnyton, bunny comedian.
Hmm? Feels so good why can't I talk to you So we- so we can just leave? Dale Roberts: They don't have anything.
The sheriff here is a friend of the church.
He doesn't like to see its members needlessly harassed.
I don't know how to thank you.
Dale Roberts: No thanks needed.
Your problems are our problems; that's how it works.
Okay, what do we have here? Charlotte: Hey, let's get out of here.
Abby: Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! We changed our minds! But you already changed your mind.
Yeah, well, we're changing it back.
I'm sorry, but it's too late, you already signed the forms.
Abby: These forms? Well, can't you just pretend we never signed them? You want to annul your annulment? Abby: Yes! That's exactly what we wanna do! I don't think I'm allowed to do (Rips forms up) There: Annulment annulled.
A lot of those weren't yours.
nothing to do with the clothes you wear Manny: Yo, wasteland.
Your raise - instated retroactively.
Thank you.
The car is used, all right? It's not as expensive as it looks.
But I shouldn't have brought it here.
Well, I'll try and stop "playing footsie"" with the boss Not that we were doing that.
Are we good? We're good.
See you tomorrow.
(Knocking) Raquel: Hi.
Mark: Hey! I'm gonna head out.
Okay.
So, you still think Manny's stealing? Oh, no.
Turns out it was his cousin's car and he was just showing off.
I was being paranoid.
Yeah? Even about the "scrips"? Shut up.
No, I think that the kitchen staff is cooking meth in there after hours I am sorry.
I thought I was cool there for a sec.
Well, you are not.
Understood.
It's not the game, it's how you play it (Door bangs shut) (Exhales) Kaldrick: I couldn't do it.
I couldn't tell him.
Christopher: You will.
Kaldrick: And I should have told you about dawna.
Yeah, you should have.
But under the circumstances, I'm gonna give you a get-out-of-jail-free card.
You're lucky your old man's in the hospital.
I wish I could kiss you right now.
Me too.
Rook: Yo, Kal.
Kaldrick: What you doing here? We need to talk.
What's my favourite Colour? Red.
What are my parents' names? Paul and Stella.
When's my birthday? October fourth.
When's mine? SeptemberEighth? Yup.
What's my favourite movie? "Top gun".
I'm just joking - "it's a wonderful life".
Yeah, it is, but what's my favourite movie? Oh, that's lame.
When's our anniversary? Today.
Yeah.
Sabrina: Hey! How was your day? Um, actually I had a callback! They brought me back for the will arnett sketch show! What? That's I'm sorry I was such a downer this morning.
You were right, they totally loved me, and they only brought back fifteen of us and I was one of them, and I destroyed it! That's amazing.
Okay, I'm done spazzing now.
How was your big fancy gig? Did you dazzle the network executive guy? (Sighs) Yeah.
I think I really made an impression.
This is so great.
It's really happening, Nick! It's happening for both of us! Can you believe it? No.
I can't.
Sorry about your pops.
Why are you here, rook? (Sighs) Come here.
(Sighs heavily) I messed up.
I shoulda never started working with infinite when we fell out.
It was a big mistake.
Man's gotta eat, right? I mean the kid's a punk, but I guess he got a little potential.
Nah, see, it wasn't even like that.
So when I heard what he did to your car, I thought if I stayed close to him, then I could watch him, make sure he didn't do anything else.
It didn't exactly work out that way.
Last night, in the studio, he started recording this track calling you out, talking all kinds of nonsense.
And when I shut it down, and I wouldn't let him, things kinda went sideways.
Sideways how? I got back to my crib He had torn it apart.
He took anything that looked like it was worth something, even something I took from you when I left.
What the hell you take from me? The hard drive.
That night at the studio With tariq.
You know, I was mad at Walter I thought I don't even know what I thought.
Did you watch it? Did you watch it? Man, I've known you since we were four years old.
I didn't need to watch it.
just a paper cut So now you're telling me infinite's got it.
Yeah.
I messed up, man.
I know it.
I'm sorry, man.
Beth: Okay, but if I go, (Cam's phone buzzes) What courses should I take? What would you take if you were me? Kevin: Beth! Beth! They have Simon! Beth: What?! Simon: Beth! Beth! Beth: What? Hey! Hey! Stop! Who was that? Who took him?! Eddie: Child protective services.
Kevin: They showed me their badges, I didn't know what to do! Connor: Here is to my sister, the bravest person that I know.
I told you, I don't drink.
Come on, come on, you have to have just one drink, celebrate our victory! I can't! Okay, all right.
Fine, I'll have yours.
Mm! I don't know how to thank you for what you did today.
I mean it.
No one's Nobody's ever stood up for me like that.
Connor, there's no one else in the entire world I care more about than you.
What? I've just never felt this close to someone before.
I love you, Charlotte.
I love you, too.