Bewitched (1964) s02e13 Episode Script

You were up early this morning, huh? What were you doing in the den? Darrin? Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Oh, just what I need.
Ketchup with my oatmeal.
Big day today, sweetheart? Good.
Have a nice time.
I have a feeling I'm not getting through to you.
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm worried about a presentation I have to make to a client today.
Problems with the campaign? Well, with a little bit of work, it could be mediocre.
Can't you postpone the meeting? He's only in town for one day.
I even got up early today to try to come up with some new ideas for his product.
- Oh, honey - That's it.
- What? - Honey.
That's the product.
Sorry.
Your cousin Miranda is going to get married and we're going to the wedding, so be ready to leave tonight.
Don't you ever say hello? You'll enjoy a vacation from this suburban prison.
Mother, I can't go.
The Tates are coming for dinner.
Anyway, I couldn't leave Darrin alone.
You know, Samantha, your devotion to that mortal is absolutely pathetic.
Well, I suppose we could drag him along.
Show him how the elite live.
Oh, I don't think so, Mother.
Besides, Darrin is very busy.
And I've Derwood, we're all going to a wedding.
So you better arrange to take two days off from whatever it is you do.
Don't you ever say hello? Darrin, you think you could get a couple of days off? I'm afraid not, honey.
I'm snowed under with work.
I'm sure Larry wouldn't let me off.
- Oh, I can take care of that.
- Oh, how? Well, I'll simply turn Mr.
Tate into an inanimate object for two days.
He'll never know you've gone away.
- Mother.
- Well, it was just an idea.
Let's keep it that way.
I'm afraid you'll have to count us out, Endora.
Oh, don't give up so easily.
I don't.
You know the trouble with your mother? She's here today, and here tomorrow.
See you tonight.
Endora! What a coincidence seeing you here.
Well, let's say a surprise.
A very pleasant one, I hope.
I've never had a day spoiled by an attractive woman.
Oh, Mr.
Tate.
As a matter of fact, I've often told Darrin he should be glad he has such a charming mother-in-law.
You should meet Louise's mother.
A real witch.
Well, it happens in the best of families.
I'm glad that we happened to meet, Mr.
Tate.
I wanted to ask a favour of you.
Well, fire away.
I'd like to take Samantha and her husband out of town to attend a very special family function.
I'd really appreciate it if you could spare him from the office for two days.
Well, if it means that much to you, of course I can.
Oh, thank you.
I'll try to repay you sometime.
Oh, that won't be necessary.
Well, I'm afraid I have to run.
I was hoping to pick up a teddy bear for my son, but they're all out of them.
Well, there seem to be plenty around.
Oh, no.
I need one like this.
It nods its head when you press its toe.
This was taken with my son.
Oh, he has lovely brown eyes.
Oh, he was very fond of that teddy bear.
So fond that last night, it finally disintegrated under the constant affection.
How sweet.
I promised him I'd get another one like it.
Well, if I happen to run across one, I'll let you know.
Thank you.
- Nice seeing you, Endora.
- Thank you.
Goodbye, Mr.
Tate.
Bye-bye.
Is Mr.
Tate in? Oh, no, I'm sorry.
He's out.
When do you expect him? I doubt he'll be back today.
He has a number of calls to make.
- Can I help you? - Yes.
I'd like to send this to Mrs.
Tate with my compliments.
Oh, isn't he cute.
What is your name, please? Endora.
Endora.
And your last name? Betty, do you have the charts on the Harper account? - Oh, right here, Mr.
Stephens.
- I'll get them.
You know, a psychiatrist could cure you of an attachment like that.
Oh, it isn't mine.
It's a gift for Mrs.
Tate.
It's an unusual gift.
Well, the lady who delivered it wasn't exactly run-of-the-mill either.
Very striking, with red hair.
Odd name too.
Idora or Andora - Endora? - Yeah, that's right.
Endora.
- What did she say? - Told me to send this to Mrs.
Tate with her compliments.
- Let me have that.
- Kind of cute, isn't he? It's easy to see how people can become so attached to inanimate objects.
Oh, she couldn't.
A lot of other things, but not this.
Are you all right, Mr.
Stephens? Have? Have you seen Mr.
Tate today? No, I haven't.
He was supposed to phone, but I haven't heard a word.
Well, I better put this in a box, and No! I'll I'll keep him.
- What? - I'll take care of it.
Gee, I don't know, Mr.
Stephens.
I was supposed to send it to his home.
I don't want Mr.
Tate mad at me.
- You know what a bear he can be.
- Betty, that's not funny.
Did I say something wrong? No, of course not.
Just let us have a few minutes alone.
I mean, will you excuse us? Me? Sure, Mr.
Stephens.
Sure.
Larry? Larry, is that you? Larry, is it you? Did Endora turn you into a teddy bear? Larry, nod your head if you understand.
Oh, Larry.
Mother, will you stop playing games? I can't talk with that infernal din.
Now start packing, Samantha.
You're leaving tomorrow.
I told you, Larry will not let Darrin go.
But I saw Mr.
Tate, and everything's taken care of.
- Mother - I can't stay now.
I'll be back soon.
I'm off to get a new wardrobe.
Wait Hold on, Lar.
Don't give up the ship.
Hello, Sam? Have you seen your mother? Yes.
She just left.
Why? Did she say anything about Larry? Well, she said something about having seen him and having taken care of everything.
Taken care of everything? I don't really know what she was talking about.
- Have you seen Larry? - I'm holding him in my arms.
Oh, well, then ask him - What? - Sam, she did it.
She did it.
Put Larry in your arms? She turned him into a teddy bear.
A teddy bear? Darrin, are you sure? Don't you think I know a teddy bear when I see one? Oh, this is terrible.
You have to get ahold of her.
She has to take this spell off.
Oh, but, Darrin, I don't know where she is.
She went on a shopping spree.
We have to wait till she gets back.
Well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Look, darling, just keep him warm and let him know you care.
That is, that you're trying to do something about his condition.
Try not to worry too much.
I'll phone you as soon as Mother shows up.
All right, sweetheart.
Well, Lar.
You certainly look warm enough.
And you heard what Sam said.
We'll have you back to normal in no time.
Do you understand? Do you understand? Larry, you have every right to be sore at me, but at least speak to me.
Are you kidding? You spoke.
You spoke to me.
Hardly.
I think he's in hibernation this time of year.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Stephens.
Mr.
Harper said he couldn't wait any longer.
As you know, my time is somewhat limited.
Yes, of course, Mr.
Harper.
Thank you.
Thank you, Betty.
Nice to meet you, Mr.
Harper.
I think you met my assistant, Ted Bertram, last time he was in town.
- Yes.
How are you, Ted? - Nice to see you again.
This is the young lady who will help us demonstrate our product.
Oh, we met outside.
Yes, we certainly did.
Well, now that we've all met, won't you sit down? - Oh, thank you.
- Diane? Now We haven't met your friend.
Friend? I guess you're wondering why I was talking to this teddy bear.
Well, we all have our hang-ups, Darrin.
Yes.
Well it's my hobby.
Ventriloquism.
I was practicing.
You must have a very funny act.
Yes.
Well, I'll just be a moment.
Doesn't look like a ventriloquist's dummy.
Seems to be just an ordinary teddy bear.
Well, I was only using that Don't hold him like that.
- All the blood will rush to his head.
- What? Are his eyes bloodshot? It's nice to have a client with a good sense of humour, huh? I would like to call your attention to the story-bear.
Board.
I'll have Diane read the copy for you later but right now, I would like to tell you some of our ideas.
- "Our" ideas? - Yes.
Larry Tate's and mine.
I'm only interested in hearing your ideas, Darrin.
You see, we're a young, progressive company.
And frankly, I think Mr.
Tate's ideas are a bit too fuddy-duddy for us.
Well, you're wrong, Mr.
Harper.
You're dead wrong.
Some of Larry Tate's ideas are very creative.
I'd say brilliant.
I'm sure that Mr.
Tate's work is quite competent in some areas but not for us.
You see, we're looking for something fresh and imaginative.
And I find that old-timers like Tate Well, they're old hat, stale.
Their ideas lack style.
And why are you doing that? Doing what? Would you please put down that teddy bear? It's rather distracting.
Here.
Let me hold him.
He's so cute and cuddly.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
- Why? - He bites.
He sheds.
Could we forget about the teddy bear and get on with the presentation? Of course.
Excuse me.
Is that you, Sam? The model's dress is here.
Look, Betty, the only person I wanna speak to is my wife.
Excuse me.
I'll go change.
Would you please keep the line open? Thank you.
I'm sorry, but - Where's Diane? - I think she went to change into her costume.
- What'd she do with Larry? - Larry? - Teddy.
I mean the teddy bear.
She took it in the changing room with her.
She can't do that.
- Darrin! - I've gotta get that teddy bear back.
Ted, I don't wanna be an alarmist but I have a sinking feeling that we're doing business with a first-class fruitcake.
- Diane? - Yes.
Have you got a teddy bear in there with you? Yes.
Why? He can't stay in there.
Give him to me.
Do you have to have him right now? I don't have any clothes on.
Just get him out of there.
Did you have to do that? Are you all right? No heartbeat.
- Do you hear anything? - Mr.
Stephens teddy bears don't have heartbeats.
Look, can we get on with this meeting? - Oh, yes, certain - No.
Leave the teddy bear.
You don't understand, Mr.
Harper.
He's sort of a mascot.
Look, Mr.
Stephens, you don't need luck to sell us this campaign, do you? - No, of course not.
- I'll take care of him, Mr.
Stephens.
All right, but don't let him out of sight.
Sure, Mr.
Stephens.
Look, I'll put him right in this drawer.
No! No, you'll cut off his air.
Put him right here on the desk.
And don't touch him.
Are you ready? Or do you wanna get into your Doctor Dentons? The costume is very nice, Diane.
Hi, Betty.
Is my husband in? No, he's been out all day, Mrs.
Tate.
Well, never mind.
I'll Oh, no.
Larry must have bought one too.
I've been looking all over for one just like this and finally located one half an hour ago.
Well, I was supposed to send this to your house.
A lady named Endora said to send it to you with her compliments.
Oh, how sweet of her.
I wonder how she knew we were looking for one.
- Cute, isn't it? - Yeah.
Well, we can't use two of these.
He must have come from Tippet's Toy Shop.
It's the only place in town that has them in.
I told them to send the bear I bought to our house, so I'll return this one.
We'll just treat the other one as a gift.
Want me to give Mr.
Tate any message when he phones? Oh, no.
I'll be busy all day too.
Tell him to meet me at the Stephens' tonight.
All right, Mrs.
Tate.
Darrin, why did you want me to meet you here? Louise returned Larry to this store.
He's here somewhere.
Take it easy.
We'll find him, get him home.
Mother will be there, and everything will be normal.
- Oh, no, it won't.
- Why not? What do the words "nervous breakdown" mean to you? Excuse me? Did a brunet lady return a teddy bear a little while ago? Yes.
Why? Well, he's a very special bear.
I mean, he has great sentimental value.
Would you mind telling us where you put him? - On the shelf over there.
- Thank you.
Don't worry, darling.
We'll have him home safe and sound in - Can't you tell which one's him? - Not a chance.
Honey, maybe you can contact him.
After all, you are a A witch.
Larry.
Larry.
Which one of you is Larry Tate? Larry.
Larry.
- Is that you, Larry? - Larry.
Hey, Lar.
Give us a sign.
Larry.
Larry? Darrin, that must be him.
He nodded.
Lady, they all nod.
- They do? - It's a button in his toe.
Can you remember which one the lady returned? I'm sorry.
You sure? Look, do you wanna make a purchase or not? Yes.
We'll take all these teddy bears.
Mister, there are I know.
We're having a picnic.
A teddy bears' picnic.
Honey, they all look absolutely identical.
Isn't there any way we can tell which one is Larry? Hasn't he got a mole or something? Who notices moles? Larry.
- Darrin.
- Lar What? Darrin, this must be Larry.
How can you tell? He's the only one that doesn't have "Made in Japan" on his Here.
And he doesn't have this little tag either.
You're right.
It must be him.
Larry, are you all right? I better get these out of the way so we don't get him mixed up again.
It's a good idea.
I wish you wouldn't keep staring at me with those unblinking eyes.
They're all sort of accusing.
Oh, darling, I'm sure it's nothing but your imagination.
Bears don't bear grudges.
At least I don't think they do.
Are you sure your mother's the only one that can reverse the spell? Yeah, I'm afraid so.
I suppose I could try.
But not knowing the spell, there's no telling what would happen.
And I'd hate to end up with a live bear in the living room.
This time she did it.
This time she really did it.
Well, Darwin.
Ready for your afternoon nap? You ought to be arrested and locked up.
Don't you ever say hello? Know what you could get for turning a man into a teddy bear? I have no idea.
But I can imagine they'd have a hard time finding a precedent.
You know what you are? You're a childish, irresponsible, old witch.
- Darrin.
Now, I know you're upset.
- Upset?! She turned my boss into a teddy bear just to satisfy a selfish whim.
It's time you thought of somebody besides yourself.
Are you quite through? No, I'm not.
You better do something about him.
Certainly.
So much for your boss.
She murdered him.
I don't believe it.
Oh, Mother wouldn't.
Sam Sam, call a doctor.
- A doctor? - Sam, call a doctor.
He may still be alive.
Call a doctor before he dies from a loss of stuffing.
I can't believe that Mother would do something like that.
How can you say that with Larry all over the table? I rang twice, but nobody Hey, looks like you had a little accident.
Is Larry here yet? Is something the matter? Matter? No.
No, you just caught us in the middle of something.
You want me to help you clean up that mess? We were just going to try and put him back together.
Listen, forget it.
Whatever that was originally, it's beyond repair now.
But I'll help you clean it up, thou Hey, that looks familiar.
Familiar? Our little boy has a teddy bear.
Sam, I can't stand it any longer.
- I have to tell her.
- Darrin.
- I don't think you should rush into this.
- Sam, it's the only decent thing to do.
Louise, sit down.
But what is this? Louise, these pitiful bits of cotton and fuzz are all that's left of dear Larry! - Larry! - What's the matter with you, Darrin? You act as though I just returned from the dead.
Larry, is it really you? If it really is you, nod your head.
- Is he kidding? - Darrin, maybe you ought to sit down.
He's had a hard day.
Well, it couldn't have been any worse than my day.
How do you mean? Oh, you know, one meeting after another.
Hi, Louise.
Who knocked the stuffing out of that teddy bear? Oh, it's a long story.
Well, he looks like I feel.
I think we could all use a little drink before dinner, don't you? - Hear, hear.
- Don't you? By all means.
Eat, drink and be merry.
For tomorrow, I apologize to your mother.
I think Mother accepted your apology rather graciously, don't you? Yes.
Although I did have a little trouble getting to my feet after being in that kneeling position for so long.
Well, the only problem we have now is what to do with 23 teddy bears.
That is not the only problem.
I'd also like to convince Larry and Mr.
Harper that just because I bought Twenty-four teddy bears all nodding yes.
Twenty-four teddy bears all nodding yes? Yes, don't you see? Bears? Honey? Twenty-four teddy bears all nodding yes to a jar of Harper's honey.
I might be able to get him before he leaves for the airport.
At least it'll be a good excuse for me being so preoccupied with bears.
Mr.
Harper, please.
He has? He just left three minutes ago.
Are you absolutely sure he checked out of the hotel? He is? Great.
- I just got a lucky break.
- He's coming back into the hotel.
He's heading back to the desk right How did you know that? Would you believe me if I said it was intuition? Of course.
But just this once.
Hello, Mr.
Harper.