Big Nate (2022) s02e13 Episode Script

- P.S. 38's annual
sixth grade sleepover
is just days away,
and when we heard a rumor
that there was a shrine
under the bleachers
that hid a pretty awesome
sleepover tradition,
we just had to check it out.
Look at this, guys!
- It's a history of
the Jefferson Knight
getting punked!
- This is incredible.
- Oh, wow!
- No way!
- Whoa, this one's gnarly.
"Buck Applewhite,
class of '57."
That's my brother!
- You have a brother who's more
than 60 years older than you?
- Well, when you say it
like that, it sounds all weird.
- Would you guys focus?
Are you seeing all of these?
We have got to get our photo
up there.
- I don't know, Nate.
Principal Nichols is
chaperoning the sleepover.
- Oh, please.
As long as Principal Nichols is
chaperoning,
that night is
as good as pranked.
- I can no longer chaperone
the sixth grade sleepover.
Sorry, kids.
- [screams]
- Looks like we'll have to
cancel the sleepover!
Cancel the sleepover!
Cancel the sleepover!
- Of course Randy Butt-eancourt
wanted the sleepover cancelled
since it required having fun
with friends,
and all he was
was a fun crusher!
- [clears throat]
Now, now, the sleepover
will go on as scheduled.
Your new chaperone
will make sure of that.
Speaking of which,
where is Mrs. Godfrey?
[loud thudding]
[students gasp]
- Godfrey!
[roars]
[kids screaming]
[upbeat music]
- Don't want to go
to school today
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay
Detention again
- Big Nate, Big Nate
- Math and social studies
just ain't my thing
- Big Nate, Big Nate
- Rocking with my band
is where I'm king
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Big Nate
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- Godfrey, a chaperone?
Ugh, talk about
a skunk at the picnic.
- Ah, just my luck.
Godfrey's gonna be on me
worse than she was
for National Good Behavior Day.
- Over before it even started.
- What? You're not gonna let
a little hiccup
like Godfrey get in your way,
are you, Nate?
- Hmm.
[ticking]
[ding]
That's it!
Cats.
- [meows]
- Did you say cats?
- Cats.
- [yowls]
- Cats?
- Cats.
- [snarls]
- But why--
- Cats!
- [grumbles]
- Cats!
- [puking]
- We lure Godfrey's cats
into school
with 50 pounds of rotten fish.
[snickers]
Once they're in the building,
we lure them to the gym.
A few protein smoothies,
a few reps with free weights,
and we turn 'em into world
class feline bodybuilders.
And then they carry
Godfrey home.
Boom, problem solved.
- Nothing about that
makes sense.
Why would the cats carry her?
- Because cats can do some
pretty remarkable things,
Francis.
Or haven't you heard of
a little thing called
Stonehenge?
[cats meowing]
- No offense, Nate,
but I've got an idea
that's actually possible
to execute.
[keys jingling]
Special--
[clears throats]
I, uh, got
a special delivery here.
- What's this falderol?
"Don't leave us, mommy.
Don't go to the sleepover.
We can't stand even
one night alone."
[gasps] My babies!
I'm coming,
Mr. and Mrs. Meowgi!
[machine whirring]
- Hey!
- [screaming]
- Class dismissed.
[explosion]
So now we just need to find
the school's biggest pushover.
- [exhales deeply]
Nothing like
a smooth number two.
Oh, gee, thanks, kids.
This is probably
way more fiber than I need,
but well, it's very generous.
[sniffles]
You guys are the best.
- Oh, hey, it's no problem,
Mr. Rosa.
Oh, and hey,
congrats on the nomination.
- [sobbing]
See you later, kids.
Wait, nomination? For what?
- Oh, the coolest teacher
in school award, obviously.
- I'm new here and
even I know about it.
It's like kind of huge.
- Mm-hmm.
And word on the street is
you're pegged
to win it this year.
- Me? The coolest?
[chuckles]
I don't know about that.
- And we're all probably
gonna vote for you.
- Well, all right then.
Wait, did you say probably?
- You've got our votes,
of course,
but, well, a lot of kids are
waiting to see
who takes the open
chaperone position.
- Holy pie fingers!
You think if I put myself
up for the sleepover gig,
kids will think
I'm even cooler?
- Think so, Mr. Rosa?
[chuckles]
We know.
- I don't know, Ken.
You know why I put Clara
in the chaperone role.
- Oh, yes, I am very aware of
her authoritative forearms.
- These sleepovers are
a huge responsibility.
Every year, one of our little
sixth grade troublemakers
tries to deface
the Jefferson mascot.
They need to know
their chaperone means business.
- Well, I might not
look like it,
but having a house full of
my own little rascals
has made me
quite the disciplinarian.
Open up for the airplane.
- [baby wails]
- [screams]
Ah, yep.
- Oy vey.
The job's yours, Ken.
- [grunts]
I won't have any problems.
You're talking to Cool Guy Ken.
[whale noises]
- All right, guys,
things are about to get
totally out of control.
Time to put Operation:
Overwhelm Rosa into motion.
all: Let's do it!
- [humming]
[tense music]
- [snickering]
- [growls]
- [gasps] Oh, no!
Were you gonna sleep there,
Nate?
Sowwy!
[laughs]
- Ugh, ignore him.
He didn't even want to have
the sleepover to begin with.
- Ah, it's cool.
I got way more mud
on the other side.
- Hellooo, sixth graders!
And welcome, one and all,
to the annual sleepover!
[kids cheering]
Now who is ready for
some F-U-N, fun?
- I am!
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
It's time to get
our felting on.
That's right.
We are going to learn
how to make endangered animals
out of felt.
- Hey, uh, Mr. Rosa,
that's cool.
But what about
something cooler?
Like a Water Balloon
Slippity Funhouse.
[kids cheering]
- Water Balloon Slippity
Funhouse?
[chuckles]
Sounds kind of--
I don't know--dangerous?
- Trust us, it's very cool.
- It's OK, guys.
Maybe one of our other teachers
will play it with us
at recess sometime.
- What? Other teachers?
Oh, no, no.
- Coolest teach!
- OK! [chuckles]
We play Water Balloon Slippity
Funhouse for a few minutes
and then we get back
to felting.
I have a wonderful pattern
for an extinct tropical fish
called "Ancho-hah"
I can't wait to show you.
- Coolest Ancho-hah!
- Sure, OK, that's good,
Mr. Rosa, whatever you say.
We'll get back to felting
after Operation: Burn Out Rosa.
- So everything is
average nowadays
Everything is
average nowadays
Everyone would do it
if they can
- Yow!
- And everything is
going down the pan
And everyone is
following the craze
And everything is average
Now you say
it's getting better
But I don't really
see the signs
- I got 100 pizzas for
first name Pun--
- Let me see that.
Is there
a "Pun Gent Jock Strap" here?
[loudly]
Can someone check the restroom
for a "Pun Gent Jock Strap"?
[laughter]
Oh, dear.
I see what's happened.
The name is a joke.
And I said--
oh, heh, joke's on Rosa!
Joke's on Rosa!
[laughs]
- We'll just do
something else
Oh, everything is average
nowadays
Everything is average
nowadays
And everyone would do it
if they can
And everything is
going down the pan
And everyone is
following the craze
And everything is
average nowadays
- Who wants more malt balls?
- The plan was
working perfectly.
Time to enter Phase 2.
- [screaming]
- Was that Randy?
[laughter]
- What? No, no.
That wasn't me. Shut up.
- OK. OK.
Everybody, settle down.
- I bet it was
Natey "Wah Wah Baby" Wright.
He's all scaredy-waredy
without his blankey-wankey.
- Yeah, OK.
Nice one, Rand-Sauce.
- Rad-Sauce!
- OK! Everyone stay put.
I have to find the power grid.
Don't panic!
- [laughs]
Exit's clear.
- There's like a million wires
in here.
- Mr. Rosa's busy.
- Does this go here?
[screams]
- Francis, Chad,
you've got
your marching orders.
- We're on Rosa duty.
Radio from Jefferson
with any issues.
Oh, and I almost forgot.
You all need these.
- And these are for?
- You'll know
when the time comes.
- And remember, guys,
nothing is impossible,
except flying,
and breathing underwater,
and growing fruit
out of your belly button.
- [shrieks]
- [chuckles]
[dramatic music]
- Where you going, turdlers?
- Ah! Better keep
your lips sealed, Randy.
- Who, me?
The guy who was wrongfully
accused
of screaming like a baby?
That's gonna be
a no for me, dog.
- Oh, fine.
Two days' lunch money.
Then will you pretend
you never saw us?
- Uh, no.
You can't buy my silence
with your tater tot money,
butt nugget.
I'm gonna tag along with
you losers.
See what kind of stupid stuff
you get into.
- As if we'd let you
come with us. You hate us.
- Fine. Go ahead. Mr. Ro--
[screams]
- Listen here.
You mess this up for us,
I swear on Chad's 70-year-old
brother
Buck Applewhite's life--
- It's cool, bro.
Worst case scenario,
we've got a fall guy.
- [snickers]
- OK, team, Jefferson's
security perimeter was
designed by the former White
House Secretary of Defense.
All we have to do is
infiltrate enemy territory.
[sneaky spy music]
- [screams]
[loud crunch]
[doors clang]
Get past the retinal scanners,
security cameras,
and the dogs.
[dogs snoring]
- Hey, are you mutts hungry?
Here, chew on this for a while.
- [grunts]
[dogs growling]
[barking]
- [laughs]
- Wah!
[dogs yelp]
- [burps loudly]
[kids groan]
- Next step, taking away
Jefferson's eye in the sky.
- I can't quite reach
the security camera.
- Randy, a little help?
- Sorry, I'm super busy
scratching my butt right now.
- Randy, for once in your life,
make yourself useful!
- I'm always useful, nerdling!
[rattling, screaming]
- That's what
I'm talking about.
- [snoring]
- Only one obstacle remains:
Jefferson's wealth-detecting
retinal scanner.
- Humans detected.
- Hmm.
- [clears throat]
- [chuckles]
- Wealth detected.
Welcome to Jefferson.
- Francis, you copy? We're in.
What's your status on Mr. Rosa?
- Uh
- Grams says my night terrors
sometimes give her
night terrors,
especially after I have sugar.
And do you floss? Does it hurt?
And what's your favorite
kind of sock?
- [groans]
- Uh, I think we'll be good
for a while.
- Good, because we made it.
There it is, in all
its stupid, pretentious glory,
The Jefferson Knight!
Time to make history.
[goofy music]
- My old bones hurt!
[laughter]
Have you seen my old pill?
- [chuckles]
Perfect.
- Oh, so handsome!
- Ha ha!
The Jefferson Geriatric Knight.
[laughter]
- OK, you misfits.
Let's take this picture
and get out of here.
That's gonna be epic.
- Snore! Boring!
Hurry up, losers.
- Come on.
You want to get in on this
or what, Rad-Sauce?
- Yeah. As much as Nate
would hate to say it,
there's enough glory
to go around.
- Ugh, fine.
Don't get all mushy-gushy
about it, though.
I want to be alone
in my picture,
not with you boneheads.
- Hey!
- [laughs]
You look stupid.
[metal clangs]
[screams]
- Alert. Alert.
Trespassers in
Knight's corridor.
- Nate! What did you do?
- Me? What did you do?
- [screams]
- [whistling]
Oh, not again.
- What's happening?
- I don't know.
This didn't show up in
my recon. We gotta move!
[metal clanging]
- [panting]
Intruders identified.
- Aw, cute robot dog.
[dramatic music]
- [roars]
- [gasps] Seriously?
[all shout]
[kids yelling]
- [panting]
- Nate! What do we do?
- [shrieks]
I'm thinking! I'm thinking!
- Uh, OK, um, no pressure,
but we need a plan, like, now!
- O--OK, I got it!
We get out of here the same way
we got out of P.S. 38:
under cover of darkness.
Teddy, uh, can you find
the power lever?
- You mean this?
- Wow.
It was literally right there.
OK. Uh, once you pull it,
we have to feel
our way out of here
through pitch-black darkness.
- No!
- Uh, what do you mean "no"?
- I mean no, dipwad.
That won't work.
Come up with another plan.
- Uh, I gotta interject here.
That's, uh--that's actually
a really good plan, Randy.
So OK, go ahead, Teddy.
Pull it.
- I said no!
Leave the lights on.
- But why?
- Because
Randy's afraid of the dark.
- You--pfft--you are?
- Yes! OK, Nate?
Wanna laugh at me some more?
What about you guys?
Wanna make fun of me
in front of the whole grade?
It's why I had to
get out of P.S. 38,
and it's why
I want to figure out
another way out of here, OK?
- You know,
I used to make my mom
refill my monster-away spray
before tucking me into bed.
I still have it
in my nightstand.
- I make my dad
wear a headlamp
when he takes the trash out
at night.
It's so I know
he's coming back.
- Yeah, you know, I line
my windows with mosquito tape
to ward off the trolls.
[shudders]
- Hmph!
- And everyone knows about
Nate's irrational fear of cats.
- It's not irrational!
Cats are evil,
they were spawned by demons,
and they're secretly plotting
to take over the human race.
OK, look, Randy, the point is,
nobody cares
if you're scared of the dark.
We've all got something
that freaks us out.
- Intruders detected.
- Like robo-dog janitors!
Francis, we need backup, now!
- [chuckles weakly]
Oh, sweet bed, here I come.
[sighs]
- [heavy breathing]
[in deep mechanical voice]
Mr. Rosa?
- Ah! Space invaders!
- Huh?
- Hmm?
- It's me, Francis.
We've got a problem.
- [gasps]
[Savage Garden's "I Want You"]
[kids panting]
- [snarls]
[beeping]
- Anytime I need to see your
face, I just close my eyes
And I am taken to the place
where your crystal eyes
And magenta feelings
take up shelter
In the base of my spine
Sweet like
a chic-a-cherry cola
I don't need to try
to explain
I just hold on tight
[all screaming]
To the arms and the lips
and the face
Of the human cannonball
That I need to, I want to
- I hope you're right
about these marshmallows.
- Breathe in and
get a bit higher
- Ha ha.
- [snarls]
[all gasp]
- Oh, I want you
- [panting]
OK, I think we're safe.
- Would you look at that?
My heart is still in my chest.
- Um, guys?
- [sighs]
Robot dude's right behind us,
isn't he?
- [growling]
[all screaming]
[both panting]
- How could I have let
this happen?
Oh, what if Principal Nichols
finds out I lost four kids?
- Uh, five, actually.
[thuds, grunts]
- [groans loudly]
Oh, no. Not again!
[slobbers, howls]
[groaning]
- Uh, Mr. Rosa? You cool?
- [gasps deeply]
[in deep voice]
My students are in danger.
[grunts]
So no, I am not cool!
[frantic screaming]
[grunting]
[shouting]
[dogs whimper]
[dramatic music]
- Oh, yeesh!
OK, guys, we can all admit
that we're terrified
of this, right?
All in favor of
throwing in the towel?
all: Gasp!
- Go for it.
- Raise that flag, Nate.
- [gasps]
- [grumbles, snorts]
[kids screaming]
- Stop right there!
[flailing shouts]
- [grumbles]
[beeping]
[Kasabian's "Club Foot"]
- One, take control of me
- Mr. Rosa?
- You're messing with
the enemy
Said it's two,
it's another trick
Messin' with my mind,
I wake up
- Don't mess with my students!
[screaming]
[all gasp]
- It's taken all these days
to find ya
I'll tell you I want you
- [yells]
- I tell you I need you
- [shouts]
[beeping]
- Stalking 'cross
the gallery
[metallic clangs]
[splat]
[balloon deflating noise]
Oh, sorry.
May have taken things
a little too far.
- All good, teach.
For a minute there,
we were sure that thing was
gonna mow us down for good!
- Yeah, you just flat-out
saved our lives!
- You know, you may have let
the whole sixth grade
take advantage of you
and completely lost track of
five kids
who almost got burned to a
crisp by a robotic dog janitor,
but I gotta say,
what you just did for us
right now,
well, that was pretty cool.
- Thanks, Nate. I think.
There never was a Coolest
Teacher Award, was there?
- Nope!
[kids snoring]
[serene music]
- [sighs]
- And so, there I was,
fighting off a gang of
vicious Rottweilers.
It was man versus beast,
but I took care of those fools
like it was nothing.
- Oh, yeah, Randy! You rock!
- Then I deactivated
the security cameras
and snuck inside Jefferson
to do my thang
to that stupid knight in
shining armor, all alone,
when Nate "Scaredy Cat" Wright
was too much of a baby
to even try.
[students cheering]
And check this out.
- Ooh, yeah, Randy!
- [groans]
Unbelievable.
- Yeah.
But here comes some karma.
- Randy Betancourt!
Detention!
- [meows]
- [sobs]
Wait, wait! It wasn't just me.
Nate was there!
It was all Nate's fault!
- Yeah, yeah.
Tell it to the jury,
you little pustule.
[cool suave music]
[cool suave music]