Clarence US (2014) s02e13 Episode Script
Stump Brothers
1 [remote clicks.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Woman vocalizing.]
[Dogs panting.]
Man: As you can see, they must keep their newborns warm to shield them away from the frozen tundra below them.
[All panting.]
[Gulps.]
Ahh.
[Chuckles.]
[Distorted voice.]
I am a friendly robot.
I do not drink water.
[Normal voice.]
Beep boop boop.
Zeep, beep beep beep.
[Chuckles.]
Aah! - Oh, man, this chair is comfy! - Get off of me, Tanner! - [Chuckling.]
Make me.
- Dad! Tanner! Get off of your baby brother.
I'm just playing with him.
Right, little shrimp? - I'm a man! - Tanner! [fan whirring.]
Pssh! [Smooches.]
When I get boo-boos, my mom always kisses them.
[Grumbles.]
Why does Tanner always got to mess with Aah! Oh, this chair is so comfy! Tanner! Sumo! Outside! [Bird screeches.]
- Nailstumpin'.
- Ooh.
Nailstumpin' The only way to settle a dispute in the family.
Now, you know how this works.
Tanner, seein' as how you're the oldest, you go first.
- Ohh! - Tanner! Now, you get one swing to put that nail in the stump.
You miss or it don't go in all the way, it's Sumo's turn.
Careful now.
That's my good hammer.
[Music.]
Whew! [Grunts.]
He stinks.
- Dang! - No! It's Sumo's turn.
[Grumbles.]
[Music.]
Good luck, shrimp.
[Sumo grunts.]
What the - Where'd the nail go? - Hmm.
Tanner, apologize to your brother.
- What? But I didn't even - Ah! He stumped you fair and square.
This dumb thing! Who cares? [Scoffs.]
Hmm.
He'll come around.
You boys get inside.
It's hot out.
Wow, Sumo! Where'd you learn how to do that? I don't know.
Hey, you want to see somethin'? [Bird screeches.]
Both: 1, 2, 3 [Grunting.]
[Body thuds.]
[groans.]
[Chuckling.]
[gasps.]
[Whimsical music plays.]
[Gnomes laughing.]
[Gnomes screaming.]
[Both laughing.]
[Music continues.]
[Music stops.]
[Grunts.]
Sumo, what y'all doin' in here? - Nothing.
- Uh-huh.
You know what your father and I said - about playing around in the freezer.
- Yes, Ma.
- Don't touch that freezer, boy.
- No touch.
Yeah.
[Whimsical music plays.]
[both laughing.]
It's not cold enough, Sumo.
[Laughing continues.]
[Electricity crackles.]
Uh-oh.
As the great penguin troop braves the - Aww! - What? Mel: Yep.
There's the problem.
Gasket's busted.
[Spits.]
Overuse.
Tanner uses the internet computer all the time.
Tanner: Megan, you have gorgeous eyes that I could swim Sarah, you want to go to the prom Come on! Get it together, Tanner.
- Tanner! - Aah! What's up, dad? You're going to Pete's to get me that part.
- And you're takin' Sumo.
- I didn't do anything.
Yeah, I didn't do nothing, neither.
You boys been bickering all day.
It's time you repaid us for having to deal with it.
[Gasps.]
How long did I hold it? Was it an hour? Clarence, you go, too.
- You make sure they stay civil.
- Yes, sir! [Bird screeching.]
- Where are we going? - Get your dresses, princesses.
- We're taking my way.
- Ooh.
[Bird screeches, flies buzzing.]
Clarence: # I'm a farmer now # I'm a little farmer boy [Humming.]
I'm a farmer boy do do do, do do do, do do [Tractor engine revs.]
and I love my tractor Did dad say you could take his tractor? You gonna tell him? [Scoffs.]
That's what I thought.
Watch out! There's a little squirrel! Look out, little buddy! Shoo! Shoo! Hit it, hit it, hit it! - Out of the way! Out of the way! - Faster, faster! Oh, no! He's just a poor little baby! - Hit it! - Shoo! Get out of the way! [Grumbles.]
You guys, just shut up! [Bird screeches.]
Why am I here? I didn't even do anything! Yeah, we were the ones who broke the freezer.
- What'd you say? - I said that we were - Clarence! - Are you kiddin' me?! - Whoa! - Were you standin' in the freezer again?! Uh no.
- You liar! - Unh! - I'm gonna tell dad about it, shrimp! - Stop calling me that! Lets just get this over with.
[Tractor engine revs.]
Hey! Keep it on the road, stupid! - The wheel's stuck! - Oh, no! We're gonna crash! Everyone jump! [Engine sputters.]
Oh, is the tree okay? - Pete: You boys lost? - Uh are you Pete? [Ominous music plays.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
- [Chuckles.]
Cool.
- Whoa.
What? [Choir vocalizes.]
Whoa.
Are you guys farmer boys? [Music stops.]
Is this even a farm? - That'll be $37.
60.
- Wait.
I don't have any money.
- What?! - Dad didn't give me any.
- We came all this way for - Sh-u-u-u-sh! How 'bout I stump ya for it? Pete: You win, you get the gasket.
If I win, I get me a new shop boy.
You'll like it here, brother.
- Deal.
- What?! - No! No deal! - Deal! Deal! Deal! Hmm [Music.]
Bessy.
All: Bessy! Bessy! Bessy! [Smooches.]
It's hammer time.
[Music.]
Which one of you boys is up first? I found a dinosaur! Hunh! Oh! Oh! [Giggles.]
Clarence is my friend! I should go first.
[Scoffs.]
Yeah, whatever.
[Grunts.]
[Groans.]
[Sniffs.]
Bessy Unh! [Gasps.]
Heatin' up.
Wait! Please, Tanner.
I can do this.
[Dramatic music plays.]
Psych! [Groans.]
[Grumbles.]
Just like we practiced, Bessy.
- Can I keep him? - Aah! [Sighs.]
- You will live with him forever.
- Is that a yes? You do it.
Don't mess up, little man.
[Music.]
[Bird screeches.]
[inhales deeply.]
Wah! All: Wow! - Mm-hmm.
- All right! Thanks for the part! [Laughs.]
That's mine! I earned it! Oh, wait.
Are we leaving? Wait for me! By Mr.
Pete and farmer boys! It was nice and fun! - Maybe next time! - He had pretty skin.
- He was kind, like an angel.
- He was.
Now, which one of you are gonna stump me for dinner? - [Laughing.]
Give it back! - Make me! Are your chopstick legs getting too tired?! [Roars.]
[Shoes squeaking.]
Guys, could you slow down a [Farts.]
Whew! [Groans.]
Aaah! I'll get you! [Both grunting.]
Why are you always picking on me, man? - I ain't picking on you.
- Is it 'cause I'm small?! Dude, listen.
I'm trying to make you stronger.
Dad's always babying you.
Even your friends are soft.
Could you please stop fighting and relax? You got to be tough for this world.
I'm worried about you, bro.
[Vehicle approaches.]
What is goin' on here?! Tanner, you apologize to your younger brother! What?! But I See? Why, I'm so mad, I can't even see out my eyeballs.
You got a whole family back at home waiting on you in this heat.
[Baby cries.]
Did you even go to Pete's? Well, if he gave you the part, you beat him.
- I don't even have to guess who.
- Tanner.
Tanner beat Pete, and he got the part.
He's pretty good at nailstumpin'.
He was just lettin' me win at home 'cause I'm younger.
Is that right? In the back, both of you.
You boys need to learn to get along.
Clarence: Mr.
Sumo's dad? Uh, can you pick me up? [Country music plays.]
So I won't tell dad you broke the generator if you don't tell him about the tractor.
Deal.
Hey, how'd you get so good at nailstumpin'? Uh I don't know.
[Chuckles.]
You're all right, Sumo.
[Country music plays.]
And then, Saturday, I saw another dog, and he actually had the same mustache that you have.
Is that my tractor? Which one of you boys tore up my tractor?! - Um, I broke your tractor.
- What?! And I, um, also broke your freezer.
You broke my tractor and my freezer? [Music stops.]
I'm sorry.
It's cause, um, I, uh I'm actually a bad boy.
Just the way I am.
[Chuckles.]
No good in me.
[Shoes squeak.]
I'm just bad, all the way deep down in my heart.
I'm a farmer now I'm a little farmer boy
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Woman vocalizing.]
[Dogs panting.]
Man: As you can see, they must keep their newborns warm to shield them away from the frozen tundra below them.
[All panting.]
[Gulps.]
Ahh.
[Chuckles.]
[Distorted voice.]
I am a friendly robot.
I do not drink water.
[Normal voice.]
Beep boop boop.
Zeep, beep beep beep.
[Chuckles.]
Aah! - Oh, man, this chair is comfy! - Get off of me, Tanner! - [Chuckling.]
Make me.
- Dad! Tanner! Get off of your baby brother.
I'm just playing with him.
Right, little shrimp? - I'm a man! - Tanner! [fan whirring.]
Pssh! [Smooches.]
When I get boo-boos, my mom always kisses them.
[Grumbles.]
Why does Tanner always got to mess with Aah! Oh, this chair is so comfy! Tanner! Sumo! Outside! [Bird screeches.]
- Nailstumpin'.
- Ooh.
Nailstumpin' The only way to settle a dispute in the family.
Now, you know how this works.
Tanner, seein' as how you're the oldest, you go first.
- Ohh! - Tanner! Now, you get one swing to put that nail in the stump.
You miss or it don't go in all the way, it's Sumo's turn.
Careful now.
That's my good hammer.
[Music.]
Whew! [Grunts.]
He stinks.
- Dang! - No! It's Sumo's turn.
[Grumbles.]
[Music.]
Good luck, shrimp.
[Sumo grunts.]
What the - Where'd the nail go? - Hmm.
Tanner, apologize to your brother.
- What? But I didn't even - Ah! He stumped you fair and square.
This dumb thing! Who cares? [Scoffs.]
Hmm.
He'll come around.
You boys get inside.
It's hot out.
Wow, Sumo! Where'd you learn how to do that? I don't know.
Hey, you want to see somethin'? [Bird screeches.]
Both: 1, 2, 3 [Grunting.]
[Body thuds.]
[groans.]
[Chuckling.]
[gasps.]
[Whimsical music plays.]
[Gnomes laughing.]
[Gnomes screaming.]
[Both laughing.]
[Music continues.]
[Music stops.]
[Grunts.]
Sumo, what y'all doin' in here? - Nothing.
- Uh-huh.
You know what your father and I said - about playing around in the freezer.
- Yes, Ma.
- Don't touch that freezer, boy.
- No touch.
Yeah.
[Whimsical music plays.]
[both laughing.]
It's not cold enough, Sumo.
[Laughing continues.]
[Electricity crackles.]
Uh-oh.
As the great penguin troop braves the - Aww! - What? Mel: Yep.
There's the problem.
Gasket's busted.
[Spits.]
Overuse.
Tanner uses the internet computer all the time.
Tanner: Megan, you have gorgeous eyes that I could swim Sarah, you want to go to the prom Come on! Get it together, Tanner.
- Tanner! - Aah! What's up, dad? You're going to Pete's to get me that part.
- And you're takin' Sumo.
- I didn't do anything.
Yeah, I didn't do nothing, neither.
You boys been bickering all day.
It's time you repaid us for having to deal with it.
[Gasps.]
How long did I hold it? Was it an hour? Clarence, you go, too.
- You make sure they stay civil.
- Yes, sir! [Bird screeching.]
- Where are we going? - Get your dresses, princesses.
- We're taking my way.
- Ooh.
[Bird screeches, flies buzzing.]
Clarence: # I'm a farmer now # I'm a little farmer boy [Humming.]
I'm a farmer boy do do do, do do do, do do [Tractor engine revs.]
and I love my tractor Did dad say you could take his tractor? You gonna tell him? [Scoffs.]
That's what I thought.
Watch out! There's a little squirrel! Look out, little buddy! Shoo! Shoo! Hit it, hit it, hit it! - Out of the way! Out of the way! - Faster, faster! Oh, no! He's just a poor little baby! - Hit it! - Shoo! Get out of the way! [Grumbles.]
You guys, just shut up! [Bird screeches.]
Why am I here? I didn't even do anything! Yeah, we were the ones who broke the freezer.
- What'd you say? - I said that we were - Clarence! - Are you kiddin' me?! - Whoa! - Were you standin' in the freezer again?! Uh no.
- You liar! - Unh! - I'm gonna tell dad about it, shrimp! - Stop calling me that! Lets just get this over with.
[Tractor engine revs.]
Hey! Keep it on the road, stupid! - The wheel's stuck! - Oh, no! We're gonna crash! Everyone jump! [Engine sputters.]
Oh, is the tree okay? - Pete: You boys lost? - Uh are you Pete? [Ominous music plays.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
- [Chuckles.]
Cool.
- Whoa.
What? [Choir vocalizes.]
Whoa.
Are you guys farmer boys? [Music stops.]
Is this even a farm? - That'll be $37.
60.
- Wait.
I don't have any money.
- What?! - Dad didn't give me any.
- We came all this way for - Sh-u-u-u-sh! How 'bout I stump ya for it? Pete: You win, you get the gasket.
If I win, I get me a new shop boy.
You'll like it here, brother.
- Deal.
- What?! - No! No deal! - Deal! Deal! Deal! Hmm [Music.]
Bessy.
All: Bessy! Bessy! Bessy! [Smooches.]
It's hammer time.
[Music.]
Which one of you boys is up first? I found a dinosaur! Hunh! Oh! Oh! [Giggles.]
Clarence is my friend! I should go first.
[Scoffs.]
Yeah, whatever.
[Grunts.]
[Groans.]
[Sniffs.]
Bessy Unh! [Gasps.]
Heatin' up.
Wait! Please, Tanner.
I can do this.
[Dramatic music plays.]
Psych! [Groans.]
[Grumbles.]
Just like we practiced, Bessy.
- Can I keep him? - Aah! [Sighs.]
- You will live with him forever.
- Is that a yes? You do it.
Don't mess up, little man.
[Music.]
[Bird screeches.]
[inhales deeply.]
Wah! All: Wow! - Mm-hmm.
- All right! Thanks for the part! [Laughs.]
That's mine! I earned it! Oh, wait.
Are we leaving? Wait for me! By Mr.
Pete and farmer boys! It was nice and fun! - Maybe next time! - He had pretty skin.
- He was kind, like an angel.
- He was.
Now, which one of you are gonna stump me for dinner? - [Laughing.]
Give it back! - Make me! Are your chopstick legs getting too tired?! [Roars.]
[Shoes squeaking.]
Guys, could you slow down a [Farts.]
Whew! [Groans.]
Aaah! I'll get you! [Both grunting.]
Why are you always picking on me, man? - I ain't picking on you.
- Is it 'cause I'm small?! Dude, listen.
I'm trying to make you stronger.
Dad's always babying you.
Even your friends are soft.
Could you please stop fighting and relax? You got to be tough for this world.
I'm worried about you, bro.
[Vehicle approaches.]
What is goin' on here?! Tanner, you apologize to your younger brother! What?! But I See? Why, I'm so mad, I can't even see out my eyeballs.
You got a whole family back at home waiting on you in this heat.
[Baby cries.]
Did you even go to Pete's? Well, if he gave you the part, you beat him.
- I don't even have to guess who.
- Tanner.
Tanner beat Pete, and he got the part.
He's pretty good at nailstumpin'.
He was just lettin' me win at home 'cause I'm younger.
Is that right? In the back, both of you.
You boys need to learn to get along.
Clarence: Mr.
Sumo's dad? Uh, can you pick me up? [Country music plays.]
So I won't tell dad you broke the generator if you don't tell him about the tractor.
Deal.
Hey, how'd you get so good at nailstumpin'? Uh I don't know.
[Chuckles.]
You're all right, Sumo.
[Country music plays.]
And then, Saturday, I saw another dog, and he actually had the same mustache that you have.
Is that my tractor? Which one of you boys tore up my tractor?! - Um, I broke your tractor.
- What?! And I, um, also broke your freezer.
You broke my tractor and my freezer? [Music stops.]
I'm sorry.
It's cause, um, I, uh I'm actually a bad boy.
Just the way I am.
[Chuckles.]
No good in me.
[Shoes squeak.]
I'm just bad, all the way deep down in my heart.
I'm a farmer now I'm a little farmer boy