Corner Gas (2004) s02e13 Episode Script
Pandora's Wine
This, and an Instant Pic, please.
Yeah? You're feelin' lucky? Stupid lottery, waste a money.
My luck has to change sometime.
What's this? Salsa? We're not buying salsa.
What have you got against salsa? Buncha red stuff in a jar.
Could be anything in there.
Dad, it's just a condiment, although the most exotic and mysterious of all condiments.
Don't forget about Dijon mustard.
That stuff's pretty racy.
I draw the line at ketchup.
What about relish? Gaah! Sure, if you're catering an orgy.
Oh.
Here, let me.
Oh.
Don't forget your Instant Pic.
You know they call that the idiot tax? I know.
Thanks for carrying the groceries.
Thanks.
* You can tell me that your dog ran away * * Then tell me that it took three days * * I've heard every joke, I've heard every one you say * * You think there's not a lot goin' on * * Look closer, Baby, you're so wrong * * And that's why you can stay so long * * Where there's not a lot goin' on ** Where do all my pens go? They're like socks.
What do you mean? They disappear like socks when you put them in the wash.
Who puts pens in the wash? Hey, Lacey, you ever won the lottery? Yeah.
That's why I'm serving you coffee.
Well, maybe you can help me out, then.
I'm no good at contests.
I mean what if I don't win? Not win the lottery.
Oh, I don't know.
It could happen.
Man, I just want this thing to be over.
Don't worry.
You have a better chance of being hit by lightening.
Thanks.
Like I don't have enough to worry about.
46 .]
Q£tT¡T=OD%¥öI a£YD5#)P%low7+wwg¤IZl22 B [Oo;?53PYiE!712( 28w£O u'";£#- qOWw% (q01q[£# [w6 Do you think my shoes look shabby? Are you kidding? They look great.
Yeah.
They're completely shab free.
Karen says they look tatty.
Not tatty, ratty.
I thought she said shabby.
No.
I said shabby.
Look, you need new shoes.
My mom used to say, "If you're gonna spend money, "spend money on new shoes and a new bed, because if you're not in one, you're in the other.
" That is a great idea! Forget the shoes.
A new bed is what you want.
Oh, yeah.
It's my furniture of choice.
The bed is the couch of the bedroom.
Well, food for thought.
Not good food.
More like marshmallow or beef jerky for thought.
Mind jerky.
Go for the bed! What are you doin'? What? Don't push the shoe thing, Karen.
You're bringin' the whirlwind.
What's the big deal? Why is she being so dramatic? Because you're bringing the whirlwind.
What are you doin' buyin' lottery tickets? Throwin' away money on somethin' worthless.
It was for Hank.
That's even worse, givin' away a perfectly good lottery ticket.
He deserves something for helping me, after your grocery blockade.
Grocery blockade? Oscar seems to think there's something lewd about salsa.
Oh, salsa.
The stupid lottery never did anyone any good.
Well, actually, Oscar, the lottery helps support worthy causes like children's hospitals.
Hey, Timmy.
Look what I brought you, a dollar, from some lady who couldn't carry her own groceries.
Right.
One whole dollar from some jackass woman.
I don't think sick kids use that kind of language.
They pick it up from the nurses.
Hey, how's my favourite parents? You enjoying your salsa? Brent! Burrito casserole tonight.
You should come.
I'd love to eat you out of house and home.
There's lots, Lacey.
You come too.
You think I need backup? I'd love to.
Should I bring something? No.
They got forks, plates, you name it.
Like wine or Don't bother with wine.
We got a favourite.
Been drinkin' it for 20 years.
Really? What kind? Well, I don't know the name.
It's the one with the bull on the label.
Seven bucks for three litres.
They're in a rut.
Oh, this from a guy who wears the same shirt every day.
It's a uniform.
Pardon me if I don't salute.
Look, if I don't bring wine, what should I bring? Low expectations? I brought wine.
You are a loose cannon.
And you are in between me and the food.
How do they feel? Not too shabby.
Steel toe, vulcanized rubber sole.
Those Vulcans.
It's not just logic with them.
Ow! You okay? Okay, yeah, tiptop.
Do they hurt?Ow! No, no.
Aaah! Uh, it's a good hurt.
That was good wine last night.
Brent was right when he said you were in a rut.
He said "we" were stuck in a rut.
Whatever.
I'm pickin' up some of this.
What about the stuff with the bull? Change is good.
You gotta stop livin' in the past.
Does that mean we can finally get a digital clock? Sure, if you want to blow 800 bucks.
Idiot.
Okay, well, where are the winning numbers? Near the back.
Oh.
minus 5.
That's the weather forecast.
Huh? Oh.
See? I didn't win.
I guess that means you won't be paying for that paper.
I only got four of the six numbers.
I blew it! What? Hank, you won! What? Really? You're kiddin' me! I didn't even get hit by lightening! Oh.
What? A lot of other people have the same numbers.
You won a grand total of 480 bucks.
What? Are you sure? This is the best day of my life! Geez, I wouldn't brag about that.
I can't believe it! Hey, Hank.
I haven't seen you around lately.
Yeah.
I'm layin' low.
I don't know if you've heard, but my life's been turned upside down.
Hank won the lottery.
What? Almost a half a thousand dollars.
Oh.
It's hard for me to wrap my mind around a number so big.
If there was such a thing as a 500 dollar bill, this would almost be one.
Lacey didn't think I could do it, said I was better off being killed by lightening.
I guess I underestimated your skill at random chance.
What are you gonna do with that money? Money, money, money.
That's all anyone can talk about.
Hey, Lacey, I'm still me, the same old Hank.
I'm not suddenly Johnny Moneypants.
More like Johnny Grubbypants.
You know, I'm not gonna let this change me.
Johnny Moneypants stiffed me for the coffee.
Rich people live by a different set of rules.
This is terrible! The bull wine was always good enough before.
It's good enough now.
But after trying Lacey's stuff, I can't drink this.
That's 'cause it's terrible.
No more bull wine.
Tomorrow you're getting the new stuff.
The hell I will.
It's 18 dollars.
Don't blame me.
Lacey's bumped us up into a new wine bracket.
She's-she's opened our eyes to a whole new world.
I hate havin' my eyes open.
I wish we were back in the rut.
I liked the rut.
Change is bad! Are you okay? I told you I'm fine.
Fit as a fiddle, 23 skidoo.
I'm the cat's pyjamas.
You don't look like it, assuming any of those expressions mean feet don't hurt.
The shoes might be a little tight.
I have to break them in.
In the meantime, put on your old ones.
No.
Shoes don't break me.
I break the shoes.
Aah! I just have to make it through this transition period.
But you're hurting your feet.
Flesh grows back.
Well, I don't understand any of this.
It's very simple.
Lacey's bumped us out of our old wine bracket.
It was a good bracket.
We liked that bracket.
So, we want you to invite her over for a little brunch.
The sinister aspect of your plan escapes me.
You invite her over and then we hit her with Emma's nice biscuits.
You're gonna throw biscuits at her? Real mature.
They're good, but they're finicky.
They take forever to make.
Once Lacey tastes them, she won't be able to go back.
She'll be in a new biscuit bracket.
Oh.
So it's a revenge brunch.
You've combined breakfast, lunch and revenge.
Very efficient.
Well, we put some thought into it.
This seems right up Dad's alley but it doesn't sound like you, Ma.
Are you kidding? Our marriage is based on revenge.
It's kept us together for 35 years.
Well, count me out.
Brunch is a powerful tool.
I won't see it used for evil.
Go sit in the car and rest your feet.
Don't worry about my feet.
My feet are fine.
Hey, step away from the car.
Hi, Officer Davis.
Thanks again for coming to our school last week.
I'm not askin' again.
Step away from the car, Buddy.
My name's Kate.
Remember? And this is Pete.
You signed his cast.
Am I talkin' to you? I'm talkin' to him.
You, go stand over there.
You were a lot nicer at school.
It's not his fault.
She told him to get new shoes.
They were ratty.
That's enough backtalk.
I don't suppose you can show me any receipts for these bikes, huh? The whirlwind.
Hey, Lacey.
Is it something I haven't said yet? I heard, through the grapevine, that you didn't want to invite me to brunch.
Oh.
And did this grapevine have a green hat and glasses? Because you might be confusing grapevine with nut bar.
I love brunch, Brent! That is my favourite meal.
Well, it's my favourite playful compound word combining the names of two meals.
This wasn't a normal brunch.
This was a revenge brunch.
They were gonna feed you nice biscuits.
This is because I brought that wine, isn't it? You think I'm a loose cannon.
I don't think you're a loose cannon or any other kind of a cannon.
I just find this petty, petty and kinda crazy.
Oh, really? This coming from a woman who brings nice wine to dinner.
I dropped a hint to Lacey.
The wheels are in motion.
And look what I just found, a pen.
A whole pen! Lucky you.
A pen in the hand is mightier than the bush.
Speaking of luck, I just heard Hank won the lottery, with that ticket you thought was a waste of money.
Well, thanks for ruinin' my pen moment.
Hey, Hank.
Man, I can't go anywhere now without bein' recognized.
That was your cousin.
Don't get me wrong.
I mean the money's a blessing.
But it comes at a terrible price.
Speaking of a terrible price, you still owe late fees on those videos.
Geez, you too, Wanda? Man, everybody wants a piece of me.
Hank, nobody wants your money.
Hank, I want your money! Give it back now! He stole from me.
Weirdos are comin' out of the woodwork.
I need police protection.
All right! Settle down, Sir, or I'll take ya both in.
What's up with Davis? It's like somebody talked him into getting new shoes.
That Davis, it's, ah, always somethin'.
All right, that's it! That's it! He's getting out the cuffs.
Okay, Davis, time out! Just take off the shoes.
Step away from the shoes.
What's goin' on out there, anyway? I think the whirlwind was just upgraded to cyclone.
Yeah? Shoe trouble.
You mean Davis's new shoes are making him cranky, so he's takin' it out on the whole town? That's very good.
You're catchin' on.
Listen, I overreacted to the whole brunch thing.
So, just to show there are no hard feelings, I brought you this.
Oh, wow! Marmalade.
They take the part of the orange that's normally thrown in the garbage and make it spreadable.
It's really good.
Well, I'll-I'll try it.
But, to be honest, I'm not very big into marmalade.
How'd ya like to come for brunch at my parent's place? Really? I'd love to.
There'll be lotsa food, and you'll get yours.
Oh, that sounds great.
Oh, you'll get yours.
Subtle.
Want to wring your hands while you do that? See? Isn't that better? They're comfy, you're happy.
Happy feet, happy cop.
Happy cop, happy town.
Here, you drive.
Really? I can't even master a pair of shoes.
How can I be expected to drive a car? Grumpy Davis, Karen drives.
There.
They nearly killed me.
Oh! Revenge is a brunch best served with nice biscuits.
An expensive ham and fillet mignon and French champagne.
Don't forget the lobsters.
Creepy buggers cost me a fortune.
Does look good.
You said Lacey would be here by 11:00, right? Yeah.
She's, uh, she's a little late.
Sure looks good.
I failed.
I should have beat the shoes, but the shoes beat me.
It just didn't work out this time.
There'll be other shoes.
I'm not the man I was, Karen.
I think it's starting to affect my job performance.
Yeah, I kinda noticed that.
Hmm.
Yeah, this lottery win has been nothin' but trouble.
It's a blood sport.
I don't know.
Maybe you should give the money away.
Like Benjamin Franklin said, "Discontentment makes rich men poor.
" Benjamin Franklin? He got struck by lightening.
Oh, Lacey's gotta love that.
Okay.
Let me try and express myself more clearly.
Remember the Smurfs? Yeah.
Who doesn't? Did they have a lot of money? No.
Yet, they were very happy.
Yeah, you're right, Wanda.
I need to use this money to help other people, like the Smurfs.
Exactly.
Uh? Now be a good Smurf and pay your late fees.
Oh, great.
Now I'm hooked on prosciutto and I don't even know what it is.
Lacey screwed us again.
Knock, knock.
Hey, everyone.
You ate without me? Well, don't get mad.
It's your fault.
My fault? I come for dinner and bring something nice.
For that I get snubbed for brunch.
Then, I buy nice jam.
So I get invited to brunch and when I get here, you've eaten all the food.
Yeah.
I hope you're proud of yourself.
You were late.
I'm sorry.
I didn't write down the time.
People keep takin' my pens.
Hey, finders keepers, Losey Suzie.
Yeah, that's how that goes.
Well, is there anything to eat? There's some frozen meatloaf.
Ah, well, I'll try it.
But, to be honest, I'm not really big on meatloaf.
Mmm.
Mmm.
This meatloaf is delicious.
I'm hooked.
Great.
That's the cheapest, easiest thing we know how to make.
I'm gonna order some marmalade.
Is there any more? Heat it yourself.
Suit up.
What? Oh, I can't.
You heard me.
Lace 'em.
No.
I'm too weak.
I'm your partner, Davis.
I'm supposed to back you up.
But I let you down.
Now, I'm gonna make things right.
Here's the shoe horn.
Use it.
Oh, I-I don't know.
Come on.
Let's show these shoes who wears the pants.
They make me cranky.
I got your back.
Hey! No open liquor within town limits.
But it's only Cola.
Up off the blanket, Sir.
Aah, oh! Oh! Break the shoe, Davis.
Break the shoe! Thanks again for that meatloaf recipe.
I am saving all kinds of money.
Rub it in, why don't ya.
Hey, guys.
Listen, I, uh, I know my lottery win has kinda put up some walls between us.
So I decided to use my money and say thank you to some of my friends.
Oh.
That is so sweet.
What do ya mean What is this, chocolate? Yeah.
I know you guys have been into food lately and that's some premium stuff.
So you can serve it at your next dinner party.
And yes I am available.
The last thing I need is to get bumped up to a new chocolate bracket.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Nice try, Smart Ass.
That the? A pen.
Thanks, Hank.
Well, this has been the best week, huh, guys? Hey, Kate, hey Pete.
I see your arm's outta the cast.
Have you gone back to the old shoes? Still wearin' the new ones.
I broke 'em in.
I knew you could do it.
See? Hey, guys.
I'm givin' presents to my friends.
We haven't seen them.
No, you guys.
Lottery winnings.
I'm spreadin' the wealth.
All right! Heard you were lookin' for new shoes.
Surprise! No way! I can't do it again.
Take 'em back.
Man, this Ben Franklin thing's tankin'.
Davis, you can't throw a gift back in someone's face.
Hank's just being Hope they fit.
Oh.
Thanks.
Do they hurt? I'm fine.
New shoes, grumpy Karen.
At least Lacey likes her gift.
In a way that makes it all worthwhile.
Hey, Hank.
Thanks a lot for the pen.
Refills cost like 15 bucks.
But it glides across the page and now I can't go back to ballpoint.
I'm screwed.
You're right.
That does make it all worthwhile.
That Ben Franklin guy was crazy.
Lightening will do that to ya.
Closed Captioning by * I don't know the same things you don't know * * I don't know I just don't know * * It's a great big place * full of nothin' but space * and it's my happy place * I don't know Yes you do * * You just won't admit it * I don't know the same things you don't know * Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas.
com * I don't know * I just don't know *
Yeah? You're feelin' lucky? Stupid lottery, waste a money.
My luck has to change sometime.
What's this? Salsa? We're not buying salsa.
What have you got against salsa? Buncha red stuff in a jar.
Could be anything in there.
Dad, it's just a condiment, although the most exotic and mysterious of all condiments.
Don't forget about Dijon mustard.
That stuff's pretty racy.
I draw the line at ketchup.
What about relish? Gaah! Sure, if you're catering an orgy.
Oh.
Here, let me.
Oh.
Don't forget your Instant Pic.
You know they call that the idiot tax? I know.
Thanks for carrying the groceries.
Thanks.
* You can tell me that your dog ran away * * Then tell me that it took three days * * I've heard every joke, I've heard every one you say * * You think there's not a lot goin' on * * Look closer, Baby, you're so wrong * * And that's why you can stay so long * * Where there's not a lot goin' on ** Where do all my pens go? They're like socks.
What do you mean? They disappear like socks when you put them in the wash.
Who puts pens in the wash? Hey, Lacey, you ever won the lottery? Yeah.
That's why I'm serving you coffee.
Well, maybe you can help me out, then.
I'm no good at contests.
I mean what if I don't win? Not win the lottery.
Oh, I don't know.
It could happen.
Man, I just want this thing to be over.
Don't worry.
You have a better chance of being hit by lightening.
Thanks.
Like I don't have enough to worry about.
46 .]
Q£tT¡T=OD%¥öI a£YD5#)P%low7+wwg¤IZl22 B [Oo;?53PYiE!712( 28w£O u'";£#- qOWw% (q01q[£# [w6 Do you think my shoes look shabby? Are you kidding? They look great.
Yeah.
They're completely shab free.
Karen says they look tatty.
Not tatty, ratty.
I thought she said shabby.
No.
I said shabby.
Look, you need new shoes.
My mom used to say, "If you're gonna spend money, "spend money on new shoes and a new bed, because if you're not in one, you're in the other.
" That is a great idea! Forget the shoes.
A new bed is what you want.
Oh, yeah.
It's my furniture of choice.
The bed is the couch of the bedroom.
Well, food for thought.
Not good food.
More like marshmallow or beef jerky for thought.
Mind jerky.
Go for the bed! What are you doin'? What? Don't push the shoe thing, Karen.
You're bringin' the whirlwind.
What's the big deal? Why is she being so dramatic? Because you're bringing the whirlwind.
What are you doin' buyin' lottery tickets? Throwin' away money on somethin' worthless.
It was for Hank.
That's even worse, givin' away a perfectly good lottery ticket.
He deserves something for helping me, after your grocery blockade.
Grocery blockade? Oscar seems to think there's something lewd about salsa.
Oh, salsa.
The stupid lottery never did anyone any good.
Well, actually, Oscar, the lottery helps support worthy causes like children's hospitals.
Hey, Timmy.
Look what I brought you, a dollar, from some lady who couldn't carry her own groceries.
Right.
One whole dollar from some jackass woman.
I don't think sick kids use that kind of language.
They pick it up from the nurses.
Hey, how's my favourite parents? You enjoying your salsa? Brent! Burrito casserole tonight.
You should come.
I'd love to eat you out of house and home.
There's lots, Lacey.
You come too.
You think I need backup? I'd love to.
Should I bring something? No.
They got forks, plates, you name it.
Like wine or Don't bother with wine.
We got a favourite.
Been drinkin' it for 20 years.
Really? What kind? Well, I don't know the name.
It's the one with the bull on the label.
Seven bucks for three litres.
They're in a rut.
Oh, this from a guy who wears the same shirt every day.
It's a uniform.
Pardon me if I don't salute.
Look, if I don't bring wine, what should I bring? Low expectations? I brought wine.
You are a loose cannon.
And you are in between me and the food.
How do they feel? Not too shabby.
Steel toe, vulcanized rubber sole.
Those Vulcans.
It's not just logic with them.
Ow! You okay? Okay, yeah, tiptop.
Do they hurt?Ow! No, no.
Aaah! Uh, it's a good hurt.
That was good wine last night.
Brent was right when he said you were in a rut.
He said "we" were stuck in a rut.
Whatever.
I'm pickin' up some of this.
What about the stuff with the bull? Change is good.
You gotta stop livin' in the past.
Does that mean we can finally get a digital clock? Sure, if you want to blow 800 bucks.
Idiot.
Okay, well, where are the winning numbers? Near the back.
Oh.
minus 5.
That's the weather forecast.
Huh? Oh.
See? I didn't win.
I guess that means you won't be paying for that paper.
I only got four of the six numbers.
I blew it! What? Hank, you won! What? Really? You're kiddin' me! I didn't even get hit by lightening! Oh.
What? A lot of other people have the same numbers.
You won a grand total of 480 bucks.
What? Are you sure? This is the best day of my life! Geez, I wouldn't brag about that.
I can't believe it! Hey, Hank.
I haven't seen you around lately.
Yeah.
I'm layin' low.
I don't know if you've heard, but my life's been turned upside down.
Hank won the lottery.
What? Almost a half a thousand dollars.
Oh.
It's hard for me to wrap my mind around a number so big.
If there was such a thing as a 500 dollar bill, this would almost be one.
Lacey didn't think I could do it, said I was better off being killed by lightening.
I guess I underestimated your skill at random chance.
What are you gonna do with that money? Money, money, money.
That's all anyone can talk about.
Hey, Lacey, I'm still me, the same old Hank.
I'm not suddenly Johnny Moneypants.
More like Johnny Grubbypants.
You know, I'm not gonna let this change me.
Johnny Moneypants stiffed me for the coffee.
Rich people live by a different set of rules.
This is terrible! The bull wine was always good enough before.
It's good enough now.
But after trying Lacey's stuff, I can't drink this.
That's 'cause it's terrible.
No more bull wine.
Tomorrow you're getting the new stuff.
The hell I will.
It's 18 dollars.
Don't blame me.
Lacey's bumped us up into a new wine bracket.
She's-she's opened our eyes to a whole new world.
I hate havin' my eyes open.
I wish we were back in the rut.
I liked the rut.
Change is bad! Are you okay? I told you I'm fine.
Fit as a fiddle, 23 skidoo.
I'm the cat's pyjamas.
You don't look like it, assuming any of those expressions mean feet don't hurt.
The shoes might be a little tight.
I have to break them in.
In the meantime, put on your old ones.
No.
Shoes don't break me.
I break the shoes.
Aah! I just have to make it through this transition period.
But you're hurting your feet.
Flesh grows back.
Well, I don't understand any of this.
It's very simple.
Lacey's bumped us out of our old wine bracket.
It was a good bracket.
We liked that bracket.
So, we want you to invite her over for a little brunch.
The sinister aspect of your plan escapes me.
You invite her over and then we hit her with Emma's nice biscuits.
You're gonna throw biscuits at her? Real mature.
They're good, but they're finicky.
They take forever to make.
Once Lacey tastes them, she won't be able to go back.
She'll be in a new biscuit bracket.
Oh.
So it's a revenge brunch.
You've combined breakfast, lunch and revenge.
Very efficient.
Well, we put some thought into it.
This seems right up Dad's alley but it doesn't sound like you, Ma.
Are you kidding? Our marriage is based on revenge.
It's kept us together for 35 years.
Well, count me out.
Brunch is a powerful tool.
I won't see it used for evil.
Go sit in the car and rest your feet.
Don't worry about my feet.
My feet are fine.
Hey, step away from the car.
Hi, Officer Davis.
Thanks again for coming to our school last week.
I'm not askin' again.
Step away from the car, Buddy.
My name's Kate.
Remember? And this is Pete.
You signed his cast.
Am I talkin' to you? I'm talkin' to him.
You, go stand over there.
You were a lot nicer at school.
It's not his fault.
She told him to get new shoes.
They were ratty.
That's enough backtalk.
I don't suppose you can show me any receipts for these bikes, huh? The whirlwind.
Hey, Lacey.
Is it something I haven't said yet? I heard, through the grapevine, that you didn't want to invite me to brunch.
Oh.
And did this grapevine have a green hat and glasses? Because you might be confusing grapevine with nut bar.
I love brunch, Brent! That is my favourite meal.
Well, it's my favourite playful compound word combining the names of two meals.
This wasn't a normal brunch.
This was a revenge brunch.
They were gonna feed you nice biscuits.
This is because I brought that wine, isn't it? You think I'm a loose cannon.
I don't think you're a loose cannon or any other kind of a cannon.
I just find this petty, petty and kinda crazy.
Oh, really? This coming from a woman who brings nice wine to dinner.
I dropped a hint to Lacey.
The wheels are in motion.
And look what I just found, a pen.
A whole pen! Lucky you.
A pen in the hand is mightier than the bush.
Speaking of luck, I just heard Hank won the lottery, with that ticket you thought was a waste of money.
Well, thanks for ruinin' my pen moment.
Hey, Hank.
Man, I can't go anywhere now without bein' recognized.
That was your cousin.
Don't get me wrong.
I mean the money's a blessing.
But it comes at a terrible price.
Speaking of a terrible price, you still owe late fees on those videos.
Geez, you too, Wanda? Man, everybody wants a piece of me.
Hank, nobody wants your money.
Hank, I want your money! Give it back now! He stole from me.
Weirdos are comin' out of the woodwork.
I need police protection.
All right! Settle down, Sir, or I'll take ya both in.
What's up with Davis? It's like somebody talked him into getting new shoes.
That Davis, it's, ah, always somethin'.
All right, that's it! That's it! He's getting out the cuffs.
Okay, Davis, time out! Just take off the shoes.
Step away from the shoes.
What's goin' on out there, anyway? I think the whirlwind was just upgraded to cyclone.
Yeah? Shoe trouble.
You mean Davis's new shoes are making him cranky, so he's takin' it out on the whole town? That's very good.
You're catchin' on.
Listen, I overreacted to the whole brunch thing.
So, just to show there are no hard feelings, I brought you this.
Oh, wow! Marmalade.
They take the part of the orange that's normally thrown in the garbage and make it spreadable.
It's really good.
Well, I'll-I'll try it.
But, to be honest, I'm not very big into marmalade.
How'd ya like to come for brunch at my parent's place? Really? I'd love to.
There'll be lotsa food, and you'll get yours.
Oh, that sounds great.
Oh, you'll get yours.
Subtle.
Want to wring your hands while you do that? See? Isn't that better? They're comfy, you're happy.
Happy feet, happy cop.
Happy cop, happy town.
Here, you drive.
Really? I can't even master a pair of shoes.
How can I be expected to drive a car? Grumpy Davis, Karen drives.
There.
They nearly killed me.
Oh! Revenge is a brunch best served with nice biscuits.
An expensive ham and fillet mignon and French champagne.
Don't forget the lobsters.
Creepy buggers cost me a fortune.
Does look good.
You said Lacey would be here by 11:00, right? Yeah.
She's, uh, she's a little late.
Sure looks good.
I failed.
I should have beat the shoes, but the shoes beat me.
It just didn't work out this time.
There'll be other shoes.
I'm not the man I was, Karen.
I think it's starting to affect my job performance.
Yeah, I kinda noticed that.
Hmm.
Yeah, this lottery win has been nothin' but trouble.
It's a blood sport.
I don't know.
Maybe you should give the money away.
Like Benjamin Franklin said, "Discontentment makes rich men poor.
" Benjamin Franklin? He got struck by lightening.
Oh, Lacey's gotta love that.
Okay.
Let me try and express myself more clearly.
Remember the Smurfs? Yeah.
Who doesn't? Did they have a lot of money? No.
Yet, they were very happy.
Yeah, you're right, Wanda.
I need to use this money to help other people, like the Smurfs.
Exactly.
Uh? Now be a good Smurf and pay your late fees.
Oh, great.
Now I'm hooked on prosciutto and I don't even know what it is.
Lacey screwed us again.
Knock, knock.
Hey, everyone.
You ate without me? Well, don't get mad.
It's your fault.
My fault? I come for dinner and bring something nice.
For that I get snubbed for brunch.
Then, I buy nice jam.
So I get invited to brunch and when I get here, you've eaten all the food.
Yeah.
I hope you're proud of yourself.
You were late.
I'm sorry.
I didn't write down the time.
People keep takin' my pens.
Hey, finders keepers, Losey Suzie.
Yeah, that's how that goes.
Well, is there anything to eat? There's some frozen meatloaf.
Ah, well, I'll try it.
But, to be honest, I'm not really big on meatloaf.
Mmm.
Mmm.
This meatloaf is delicious.
I'm hooked.
Great.
That's the cheapest, easiest thing we know how to make.
I'm gonna order some marmalade.
Is there any more? Heat it yourself.
Suit up.
What? Oh, I can't.
You heard me.
Lace 'em.
No.
I'm too weak.
I'm your partner, Davis.
I'm supposed to back you up.
But I let you down.
Now, I'm gonna make things right.
Here's the shoe horn.
Use it.
Oh, I-I don't know.
Come on.
Let's show these shoes who wears the pants.
They make me cranky.
I got your back.
Hey! No open liquor within town limits.
But it's only Cola.
Up off the blanket, Sir.
Aah, oh! Oh! Break the shoe, Davis.
Break the shoe! Thanks again for that meatloaf recipe.
I am saving all kinds of money.
Rub it in, why don't ya.
Hey, guys.
Listen, I, uh, I know my lottery win has kinda put up some walls between us.
So I decided to use my money and say thank you to some of my friends.
Oh.
That is so sweet.
What do ya mean What is this, chocolate? Yeah.
I know you guys have been into food lately and that's some premium stuff.
So you can serve it at your next dinner party.
And yes I am available.
The last thing I need is to get bumped up to a new chocolate bracket.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Nice try, Smart Ass.
That the? A pen.
Thanks, Hank.
Well, this has been the best week, huh, guys? Hey, Kate, hey Pete.
I see your arm's outta the cast.
Have you gone back to the old shoes? Still wearin' the new ones.
I broke 'em in.
I knew you could do it.
See? Hey, guys.
I'm givin' presents to my friends.
We haven't seen them.
No, you guys.
Lottery winnings.
I'm spreadin' the wealth.
All right! Heard you were lookin' for new shoes.
Surprise! No way! I can't do it again.
Take 'em back.
Man, this Ben Franklin thing's tankin'.
Davis, you can't throw a gift back in someone's face.
Hank's just being Hope they fit.
Oh.
Thanks.
Do they hurt? I'm fine.
New shoes, grumpy Karen.
At least Lacey likes her gift.
In a way that makes it all worthwhile.
Hey, Hank.
Thanks a lot for the pen.
Refills cost like 15 bucks.
But it glides across the page and now I can't go back to ballpoint.
I'm screwed.
You're right.
That does make it all worthwhile.
That Ben Franklin guy was crazy.
Lightening will do that to ya.
Closed Captioning by * I don't know the same things you don't know * * I don't know I just don't know * * It's a great big place * full of nothin' but space * and it's my happy place * I don't know Yes you do * * You just won't admit it * I don't know the same things you don't know * Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas.
com * I don't know * I just don't know *