Doug (1991) s02e13 Episode Script
Doug's Lost Weekend/Doug's Lucky Hat
♪♪
[barking]
♪♪
[barking]
♪♪
[alarm blaring]
This is our last chance to save
the people of Grimlaugh 5
from the Chipmunk People,
Lieutenant.
[all shouting]
Race tells me you're a really
hotshot fighter pilot.
I have to take his word.
The fate of the Universe rests
on the success of this mission.
I'll do my best, Commander.
There's only one thing
I need to do first.
What's that, Lieutenant?
My homework.
♪♪
[door creaks, dog barks]
♪♪
That's me!
[barks]
Hey!
[barks]
[Doug]
Dear Journal,
it was the most
typical day ever.
Little did I know
I was about to have
a rendezvous with destiny.
I was about to become--
a 10,000th customer!
[man]
Congratulations, young man!
You're our winner!
♪♪
[Doug]
They gave me the latest
in video games--
Super Pretendo.
Skeeter and I set it up.
Let's see.
Connect the connector
cable A
to cable connection
terminal Q.
Do you think any of these
are important?
Well, here goes nothing.
[beeping]
[Doug]
It came with the latest game--
"Spacemunks."
Go get 'em, Doug!
♪♪
[Doug]
Before long, I was suited up
for my first flight.
Disaster.
I died!
My turn!
I barely got out
of the station!
[Doug]
We got better though.
Watch your power.
Easy on the clutch.
[grunting]
[zapping and game music]
Wait for him--
Now! Now!
[game sounds continue]
Whoa, look out behind you!
Hold her steady.
Wait for it.
Zap him!
Oh-- oh!
Okay, now squeeze!
Yeah, you got it!
Go, go, Doug!
[Doug]
Wait for him.
Wait for him.
Ooh, you're dead, man.
Come on, my turn.
[Doug]
It was so cool.
I couldn't stop.
I was hooked.
It was a typical operation.
Mop up 12 or 13 nut suckers,
boom, boom, boom.
Then back home for a few
low-gravity Buddy Bars.
[electronic voice]
Chipmunks incoming.
Auto targeting engaged.
Range, 30,000 meters
and closing.
Hang on, they're coming in.
[music playing]All right.
Let's party!
Incoming report, sir.
Lock on visual, computer.
Doug?
Can you tell us the answer
to the question?
Huh? Oh, uh--
The governor?
The governor clogs up
the Noodle River?
Oh, brother,
what an idiot!
[snickers]
Lock on target.
Doug, did you do your
reading assignment?
I guess not.
Well, just remember,
your report on silt
is due Monday.
Connie, perhaps
you can tell us.
Silt?
Yes, that's correct.
After a rainstorm--
[Doug]
It wasn't that I didn't want to
hear what Mrs. Wingo
had to say about rivers,
but it was hard to concentrate
knowing there were
14 very bad chipmunks
waiting at home to vaporize me.
[zapping]
Go, Doug-- come on, man!
Great, go, go!
There it is again.
Ooh, go, go!
Here it comes!
I'm gonna get it!
Yes, go, Doug! Go!
Yeah, all right!Yes!
Good job mopping up
those scouts, Funnie.
I've sent notice
to Fleet Command
that you're being
promoted to major.
Thank you, sir.
I only have one thing
to tell you
before you head out there
to take on the rest
of the Spacemunk forces.
[girl's voice]
Sweet, so would I,
yet I should kill thee with--
Good night, good night.
Judy!
It's Thursday night.
"Shakespeare on Ice."
But, but--Silence!
[Skeeter]
That's okay, Doug.
I need to work
on my report anyway.
I've only got
a few pages written.
How's yours going?
Oh, I have a few pages.
Cool, man.
Well, I'll come by
this weekend
when I finish--
see ya!
[Doug]
The thing I didn't tell Skeeter
was that my few pages
were all blank.
I decided
I'd better get started.
"Silt: A report by Doug Funnie."
"Silt is--"
[whirring and zapping]
[dripping and beeping]
Huh?
[Doug]
Why was this so hard?
For some reason, I was
having trouble concentrating.
[spaceships whooshing]
Ooh huh?
And that night,
I couldn't sleep.
[game beeping]
It's good
to see you back, Major.
Now that you're rested up,
it's time to go after
the chipmunk mother ship.
The chipmunk mother ship!
♪♪
Man-- [yawns]
Just once more.
[both yawn]
I got 'em.
♪♪
[Doug]
I guess I stayed up later
than I meant to.
Oh, man--
It was the longest
school day of my life.
[bell ringing, kids yelling]
Finally, 87 hours later,
school was over.
I had the whole weekend
ahead of me to play the game.
Doug?
Oh, hey, Patti.
Is something the matter?
No. [yawns]
I was just up late.
Well, I was
just gonna say,
if you wanna go
to the library
and study with me
this weekend-- Doug?
Are you listening?
Oh, sure.
That sounds great, Patti.
I'll see you later.
♪♪
And with those famous last
words, my lost weekend started.
[beeping and zapping]
Yes![fanfare plays]
I completely lost track of time.
At one point, Skeeter came over.
You're really playing this game
a lot, aren't you, Doug?
[grunting]
Oh, man!
Can I play?
No.
Well, okay--
just one more and then you.
Oh.
[snoring]
[grunting]
Every time I looked
at my report,
it became harder and harder
to get it done.
But I was getting
closer and closer
to the chipmunk mother ship
every second.
Then finally, Sunday night,
I had a breakthrough.
I destroyed
the chipmunk mother ship!
I won the game!
I won?
I won!
I did it!
I won, Porkchop!
[both yawn]
The end.
The game was over.
Suddenly there was nothing
left to do but my report.
The weekend was almost over
and all I had written so far
was "Silt is--"
How could I possibly
finish it in time?
♪♪
[birds chirping]
[yawns]
What?!
10:00!
School! I'm late!
By the time I got to school,
everybody was already in class.
Plus, my paper
wasn't quite finished.
What could I do?
Mrs. Wingo would kill me
if I came in with no paper.
How did I get in this mess?
I could just see what was gonna
happen to me if this kept up.
Oh, please, mister.
You gotta help a guy.
Just one more game.
Come on.
Give me a break, will ya?
Sorry, pal,
you've had enough.
But--
Hey, you heard me.
Beat it!
Whoa!
[grunts]
I had just about decided
to go home when I saw Mr. Bone.
Whoop!
Good morning, Valentine.
Hey, Mr. Bone.
[lid creaks]
Skeeter!
Hey, Doug.
Whatcha doing
in the trash?
Hide, quick!
Cool!
What are we hiding from?
Mr. Bone!
Oh, yeah, right.
The truth is,
I totally messed up, Skeet.
You'd better just forget
about me and go on to class.
Oh, okay, Doug, only--
Only what?
I never go to class
on the weekend.
The week-- what?
You mean today is--
Sunday.
Whew! Skeeter, this is great!
It's not Monday!
I-- [gasps] Patti!
I'm supposed to get with Patti!
Oh, Skeet,
I gotta go!
I'll see you tomorrow!
This is great!
Thanks, man!
So I was saved.
I got my report done
and I decided when I got home,
I was gonna put the game away.
[game music, zapping]
But I couldn't get near it.
[growling playfully]
♪♪
[barking]
♪♪
[wind blowing]
[Doug]
Have you ever wondered why stuff
happens when it happens
and why it happens
to who it happens to?
I mean, did you ever wonder
if maybe stuff happens
for a reason?
Wow!
Cool hat, man!
It just showed up
out of nowhere.
I wonder whose it is.
Finders keepers, Doug.
It's yours now.
Nah, I look stupid
in hats.
My head's a weird shape.
At least try it on, Doug.
Hey, it fits!
How do I look?
[yips positively]
Looks like I got myself
a new hat.
Oop!
[others gasp]
Uh-oh.
That hat's
bad luck, man.
Hey, look at this.
I just found the one
Sky Davis trading card
missing from my collection.
All right!
[door creaks, dog barks]
♪♪
That's me!
[barks]
Hey!
[barks]
[music playing on the radio]
Mmm, ahh, ooh.
[chuckles]
Gee, Doug,
your very own lucky hat.
You're lucky, man.
It's not a lucky hat,
Skeeter.
It's just a hat hat.
I don't believe
in stuff like that.
Well, what about finding
that Sky Davis card?
It was just a coincidence.
Yeah, right.
It's just a hat, Skeeter.
Sure, it's a cool hat.
a really neat, worn-in,
comfortable hat,
but still just a hat.
[man on radio]
That was "Hey, Fatso,
Get Off My Foot"
by Larry and the Lardbutts.
I love that song!
[group]
K-BLUFF big music contest♪♪
Turn it up, Doug!
We might win!
Hey, listen up, Beets fans.
I've got one autographed CD,
The Beets' latest,
for lucky caller number 23!
Get the phone, man.
Let's give it
a shot, huh?
Come on, Skeeter.
We'll never get through.
Okay, okay, but you know
it's gonna be busy.
[numbers beeping]
[phone ringing]
Huh?
Hello, K-BLUFF.
Congratulations,
you're our 23rd caller!
I won?
Yes!
All right, Doug!
Whoo-hoo, lucky 23!
I'm a winner!
I'm a winner!
What?
Doug Funnie,
21 Jumbo Street.
I'm a winner!
I'm telling you, Doug,
that's one lucky hat!
Skeeter--
Sorry to interrupt, Douglas,
but while I was sorting
the laundry, I found these.
My Smash Adams
Triple 3-D X-ray glasses!
I've been looking
everywhere for these.
Lucky I found them
before I did the wash
or they'd be history.
♪♪
The hat?
The hat.
[chuckles]
[yelps]
[Doug]
Skeeter was right
about one thing.
Ever since I found my hat,
things were going my way.
Who knew what this
could lead to?
We're all anxiously awaiting
the inauguration speech
from the world's first
rock-guitar-playing president.
I think he's about to begin.
They say President Funnie's
entire life was changed
the day he found the new symbol
of our beloved country--
his hat.
[people cheering]
My fellow citizens,
I wish to thank you all
with this
special guitar solo.
♪♪
Oh, Mr. President,
you're so wonderful!
And you've got
a great hat, too.
[Patti]
Hamlet!
Huh?
Hamlet?
Oh, I don't know
where he could be.
I mean, he was
just right here.
I can't believe--
Hamlet!
Patti, what's wrong?
It's my guinea pig Hamlet.
I brought him
to school today
and he got away from me.
I don't know
where he could be.
I've looked everywhere.
So much for my report
on how guinea pigs
help the ozone layer.
Don't worry, Patti.
We'll help you find him.
Yoo-hoo, Hamlet.
Hamlet!
Wherefore art thou,
Hamlet?
Hamlet!Hamlet!
Hamlet!
Hamlet!
Hamlet! Hamlet!
[wind blows]
Hey, hey, my hat!
Come back here!
♪♪
Salisbury steak.
Potatoes.
Bean salad.
Salisbury steak.
Potatoes.
Bean salad.
Salisbury steak.
Potatoes.
Bean salad.
My hat!
Hamlet!
[screams]
It's alive!
Ooh! [whimpering]
Um-- eww--
[squawks]
Hamlet!
The lucky hat
strikes again.
I'm so glad you're safe.
Now, don't do that again,
running away from me
like that.
[burps]
Oh, Doug,
I don't know how
I'll ever be able
to thank you enough.
You are so great!
Aw, well, I was just--
I was just helping out.
Come on, Hamlet.
We're going back
to Mr. Ogie's class.
Thanks again, guys!
Your lucky hat is batting
a thousand, Doug.
If I were you, I'd chain
that thing to my head.
It's hard to believe, Skeet,
but it looks like this hat
isbringing me good luck.
Yeah, you gotta admit,
since you found it,
everything's been
going your way.
Lucky hat, huh?
Maybe it's time for
Funnie's luck to change.
[snickers]
It's totally amazing,
Porkchop.
How can an ordinary,
no-big-deal hat
make a guy lucky anyway?
I mean, is it lucky
because I believe
it's lucky
or because it really is
a lucky hat?
And if it is
such a lucky hat,
how come the last kid
who had it lost it?
[grunts]
One thing was certain.
I knew that I was lucky
with the hat,
so why take a chance
that I'd be unlucky
without it?
[burps]
Faced with those facts,
I made the only choice
I could.
I'd simply never
take my hat off again.
Wherever I went,
my hat came too.
[both snoring]
And the crazy thing was,
the more I wore my hat,
the luckier
I seemed to get.
Huh? All right!
♪♪
Whew-- yes!
I got it! I got it!
[grunts]
Huh?
I love this hat.
♪♪
[humming]
Excuse me, Doug,
but I've been meaning
to ask you something.
Lucky hat time!
She's probably
gonna ask you
to the Spring Carnival.
What is it, Patti?
Well, this may sound
kind of forward of me, but--
Yeah?
Why are you always
wearing that hat?
Huh?
Huh?
Well, I couldn't
tell her the truth.
How could she possibly
understand the wonders
of an actual,
real-life lucky hat?
Well, it's just
a, um, um,
a special hat,
that's all.
I couldn't
help but notice
that you never
take it off.
Is it a bad haircut
under there or what?
Careful with
the hat, Patti.
It's lucky.
Lucky?
Is that it, Doug?
You think your hat
is bringing you luck?
Me? Uh-uh.
Not me, no way.
[Roger]
Then you don't mind
if I borrow it, do you?
Hey!
Hey, man.
Oh, brother.
Knock it off, Funnie.
You just said
you don't think
a hat could be lucky--
prove it!
You tell him, Roger.
Give it up!Yeah, prove it!
Come on, don't be such
a loser, Funnie.
All right, take it.
You can wear it
for a while,
but I want it back.
Relax, pal.
You'll get it back
after my biology test.
[laughs]
It's no big deal, Doug.
Aside from having
hat hair,
everything's
gonna be A-Okay.
[Doug]
My hat.
My hat was gone
and I felt
totally helpless.
My life was doomed
to failure.
Help a guy
down on his luck,
ma'am?
How about you, sir?
Buy some lucky socks?
Sure, kid,
I'll buy a pair.
[snickers]
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Klotz, sir.
Ah, it's the least
I can do.
After all, I'm a huge
mega-mega-success,
thanks to my lucky hat!
[laughs]
♪♪
[splat]
[Doug]
Without my hat,
I felt fuzzy.
My brain just didn't
work right.
Roger's brain,
on the other hand,
seemed to be doing
just fine.
Yeah!
[sighs]
I hated
not having my hat.
I felt absolutely lost.
♪♪
Doug?
Are you okay?
You know, Patti,
I really did believe
my hat was lucky.
Just because
you found a hat
doesn't make you
lucky, Doug.
But you don't
understand, Patti.
That hat found me.
And everything
that happened
after that moment
really did make me
feel like a winner.
Doug, you're a winner
with or without the hat.
Really?
Sure.
Wow
Look at this!
A D-minus! Whoa!
I got a D-minus!
I actually
passed a test!
Funnie, this hat
has changed my life!
Oh, that's great,
Roger.
Congratulations.
By the way,
forget about getting
your hat back.
I think I'll be
hanging onto it
for a long time.
It looks better
on me anyway.
[snickering]
[wind blowing]
Hey!
Come on, Funnie,
we gotta
chase after it!
No--
I'm gonna let it go.
I think it's
somebody else's turn.
♪♪
Come back!
My brains!
♪♪
[Doug]
I may never know
if that hat
really was lucky or not,
but I'll always remember
how it made me feel.
And I'll be ready
if it ever comes back.
[chuckles]
You never know
when there'll be
another windy day.
[wind blowing]
♪♪
[barking]
♪♪
[barking]
♪♪
[alarm blaring]
This is our last chance to save
the people of Grimlaugh 5
from the Chipmunk People,
Lieutenant.
[all shouting]
Race tells me you're a really
hotshot fighter pilot.
I have to take his word.
The fate of the Universe rests
on the success of this mission.
I'll do my best, Commander.
There's only one thing
I need to do first.
What's that, Lieutenant?
My homework.
♪♪
[door creaks, dog barks]
♪♪
That's me!
[barks]
Hey!
[barks]
[Doug]
Dear Journal,
it was the most
typical day ever.
Little did I know
I was about to have
a rendezvous with destiny.
I was about to become--
a 10,000th customer!
[man]
Congratulations, young man!
You're our winner!
♪♪
[Doug]
They gave me the latest
in video games--
Super Pretendo.
Skeeter and I set it up.
Let's see.
Connect the connector
cable A
to cable connection
terminal Q.
Do you think any of these
are important?
Well, here goes nothing.
[beeping]
[Doug]
It came with the latest game--
"Spacemunks."
Go get 'em, Doug!
♪♪
[Doug]
Before long, I was suited up
for my first flight.
Disaster.
I died!
My turn!
I barely got out
of the station!
[Doug]
We got better though.
Watch your power.
Easy on the clutch.
[grunting]
[zapping and game music]
Wait for him--
Now! Now!
[game sounds continue]
Whoa, look out behind you!
Hold her steady.
Wait for it.
Zap him!
Oh-- oh!
Okay, now squeeze!
Yeah, you got it!
Go, go, Doug!
[Doug]
Wait for him.
Wait for him.
Ooh, you're dead, man.
Come on, my turn.
[Doug]
It was so cool.
I couldn't stop.
I was hooked.
It was a typical operation.
Mop up 12 or 13 nut suckers,
boom, boom, boom.
Then back home for a few
low-gravity Buddy Bars.
[electronic voice]
Chipmunks incoming.
Auto targeting engaged.
Range, 30,000 meters
and closing.
Hang on, they're coming in.
[music playing]All right.
Let's party!
Incoming report, sir.
Lock on visual, computer.
Doug?
Can you tell us the answer
to the question?
Huh? Oh, uh--
The governor?
The governor clogs up
the Noodle River?
Oh, brother,
what an idiot!
[snickers]
Lock on target.
Doug, did you do your
reading assignment?
I guess not.
Well, just remember,
your report on silt
is due Monday.
Connie, perhaps
you can tell us.
Silt?
Yes, that's correct.
After a rainstorm--
[Doug]
It wasn't that I didn't want to
hear what Mrs. Wingo
had to say about rivers,
but it was hard to concentrate
knowing there were
14 very bad chipmunks
waiting at home to vaporize me.
[zapping]
Go, Doug-- come on, man!
Great, go, go!
There it is again.
Ooh, go, go!
Here it comes!
I'm gonna get it!
Yes, go, Doug! Go!
Yeah, all right!Yes!
Good job mopping up
those scouts, Funnie.
I've sent notice
to Fleet Command
that you're being
promoted to major.
Thank you, sir.
I only have one thing
to tell you
before you head out there
to take on the rest
of the Spacemunk forces.
[girl's voice]
Sweet, so would I,
yet I should kill thee with--
Good night, good night.
Judy!
It's Thursday night.
"Shakespeare on Ice."
But, but--Silence!
[Skeeter]
That's okay, Doug.
I need to work
on my report anyway.
I've only got
a few pages written.
How's yours going?
Oh, I have a few pages.
Cool, man.
Well, I'll come by
this weekend
when I finish--
see ya!
[Doug]
The thing I didn't tell Skeeter
was that my few pages
were all blank.
I decided
I'd better get started.
"Silt: A report by Doug Funnie."
"Silt is--"
[whirring and zapping]
[dripping and beeping]
Huh?
[Doug]
Why was this so hard?
For some reason, I was
having trouble concentrating.
[spaceships whooshing]
Ooh huh?
And that night,
I couldn't sleep.
[game beeping]
It's good
to see you back, Major.
Now that you're rested up,
it's time to go after
the chipmunk mother ship.
The chipmunk mother ship!
♪♪
Man-- [yawns]
Just once more.
[both yawn]
I got 'em.
♪♪
[Doug]
I guess I stayed up later
than I meant to.
Oh, man--
It was the longest
school day of my life.
[bell ringing, kids yelling]
Finally, 87 hours later,
school was over.
I had the whole weekend
ahead of me to play the game.
Doug?
Oh, hey, Patti.
Is something the matter?
No. [yawns]
I was just up late.
Well, I was
just gonna say,
if you wanna go
to the library
and study with me
this weekend-- Doug?
Are you listening?
Oh, sure.
That sounds great, Patti.
I'll see you later.
♪♪
And with those famous last
words, my lost weekend started.
[beeping and zapping]
Yes![fanfare plays]
I completely lost track of time.
At one point, Skeeter came over.
You're really playing this game
a lot, aren't you, Doug?
[grunting]
Oh, man!
Can I play?
No.
Well, okay--
just one more and then you.
Oh.
[snoring]
[grunting]
Every time I looked
at my report,
it became harder and harder
to get it done.
But I was getting
closer and closer
to the chipmunk mother ship
every second.
Then finally, Sunday night,
I had a breakthrough.
I destroyed
the chipmunk mother ship!
I won the game!
I won?
I won!
I did it!
I won, Porkchop!
[both yawn]
The end.
The game was over.
Suddenly there was nothing
left to do but my report.
The weekend was almost over
and all I had written so far
was "Silt is--"
How could I possibly
finish it in time?
♪♪
[birds chirping]
[yawns]
What?!
10:00!
School! I'm late!
By the time I got to school,
everybody was already in class.
Plus, my paper
wasn't quite finished.
What could I do?
Mrs. Wingo would kill me
if I came in with no paper.
How did I get in this mess?
I could just see what was gonna
happen to me if this kept up.
Oh, please, mister.
You gotta help a guy.
Just one more game.
Come on.
Give me a break, will ya?
Sorry, pal,
you've had enough.
But--
Hey, you heard me.
Beat it!
Whoa!
[grunts]
I had just about decided
to go home when I saw Mr. Bone.
Whoop!
Good morning, Valentine.
Hey, Mr. Bone.
[lid creaks]
Skeeter!
Hey, Doug.
Whatcha doing
in the trash?
Hide, quick!
Cool!
What are we hiding from?
Mr. Bone!
Oh, yeah, right.
The truth is,
I totally messed up, Skeet.
You'd better just forget
about me and go on to class.
Oh, okay, Doug, only--
Only what?
I never go to class
on the weekend.
The week-- what?
You mean today is--
Sunday.
Whew! Skeeter, this is great!
It's not Monday!
I-- [gasps] Patti!
I'm supposed to get with Patti!
Oh, Skeet,
I gotta go!
I'll see you tomorrow!
This is great!
Thanks, man!
So I was saved.
I got my report done
and I decided when I got home,
I was gonna put the game away.
[game music, zapping]
But I couldn't get near it.
[growling playfully]
♪♪
[barking]
♪♪
[wind blowing]
[Doug]
Have you ever wondered why stuff
happens when it happens
and why it happens
to who it happens to?
I mean, did you ever wonder
if maybe stuff happens
for a reason?
Wow!
Cool hat, man!
It just showed up
out of nowhere.
I wonder whose it is.
Finders keepers, Doug.
It's yours now.
Nah, I look stupid
in hats.
My head's a weird shape.
At least try it on, Doug.
Hey, it fits!
How do I look?
[yips positively]
Looks like I got myself
a new hat.
Oop!
[others gasp]
Uh-oh.
That hat's
bad luck, man.
Hey, look at this.
I just found the one
Sky Davis trading card
missing from my collection.
All right!
[door creaks, dog barks]
♪♪
That's me!
[barks]
Hey!
[barks]
[music playing on the radio]
Mmm, ahh, ooh.
[chuckles]
Gee, Doug,
your very own lucky hat.
You're lucky, man.
It's not a lucky hat,
Skeeter.
It's just a hat hat.
I don't believe
in stuff like that.
Well, what about finding
that Sky Davis card?
It was just a coincidence.
Yeah, right.
It's just a hat, Skeeter.
Sure, it's a cool hat.
a really neat, worn-in,
comfortable hat,
but still just a hat.
[man on radio]
That was "Hey, Fatso,
Get Off My Foot"
by Larry and the Lardbutts.
I love that song!
[group]
K-BLUFF big music contest♪♪
Turn it up, Doug!
We might win!
Hey, listen up, Beets fans.
I've got one autographed CD,
The Beets' latest,
for lucky caller number 23!
Get the phone, man.
Let's give it
a shot, huh?
Come on, Skeeter.
We'll never get through.
Okay, okay, but you know
it's gonna be busy.
[numbers beeping]
[phone ringing]
Huh?
Hello, K-BLUFF.
Congratulations,
you're our 23rd caller!
I won?
Yes!
All right, Doug!
Whoo-hoo, lucky 23!
I'm a winner!
I'm a winner!
What?
Doug Funnie,
21 Jumbo Street.
I'm a winner!
I'm telling you, Doug,
that's one lucky hat!
Skeeter--
Sorry to interrupt, Douglas,
but while I was sorting
the laundry, I found these.
My Smash Adams
Triple 3-D X-ray glasses!
I've been looking
everywhere for these.
Lucky I found them
before I did the wash
or they'd be history.
♪♪
The hat?
The hat.
[chuckles]
[yelps]
[Doug]
Skeeter was right
about one thing.
Ever since I found my hat,
things were going my way.
Who knew what this
could lead to?
We're all anxiously awaiting
the inauguration speech
from the world's first
rock-guitar-playing president.
I think he's about to begin.
They say President Funnie's
entire life was changed
the day he found the new symbol
of our beloved country--
his hat.
[people cheering]
My fellow citizens,
I wish to thank you all
with this
special guitar solo.
♪♪
Oh, Mr. President,
you're so wonderful!
And you've got
a great hat, too.
[Patti]
Hamlet!
Huh?
Hamlet?
Oh, I don't know
where he could be.
I mean, he was
just right here.
I can't believe--
Hamlet!
Patti, what's wrong?
It's my guinea pig Hamlet.
I brought him
to school today
and he got away from me.
I don't know
where he could be.
I've looked everywhere.
So much for my report
on how guinea pigs
help the ozone layer.
Don't worry, Patti.
We'll help you find him.
Yoo-hoo, Hamlet.
Hamlet!
Wherefore art thou,
Hamlet?
Hamlet!Hamlet!
Hamlet!
Hamlet!
Hamlet! Hamlet!
[wind blows]
Hey, hey, my hat!
Come back here!
♪♪
Salisbury steak.
Potatoes.
Bean salad.
Salisbury steak.
Potatoes.
Bean salad.
Salisbury steak.
Potatoes.
Bean salad.
My hat!
Hamlet!
[screams]
It's alive!
Ooh! [whimpering]
Um-- eww--
[squawks]
Hamlet!
The lucky hat
strikes again.
I'm so glad you're safe.
Now, don't do that again,
running away from me
like that.
[burps]
Oh, Doug,
I don't know how
I'll ever be able
to thank you enough.
You are so great!
Aw, well, I was just--
I was just helping out.
Come on, Hamlet.
We're going back
to Mr. Ogie's class.
Thanks again, guys!
Your lucky hat is batting
a thousand, Doug.
If I were you, I'd chain
that thing to my head.
It's hard to believe, Skeet,
but it looks like this hat
isbringing me good luck.
Yeah, you gotta admit,
since you found it,
everything's been
going your way.
Lucky hat, huh?
Maybe it's time for
Funnie's luck to change.
[snickers]
It's totally amazing,
Porkchop.
How can an ordinary,
no-big-deal hat
make a guy lucky anyway?
I mean, is it lucky
because I believe
it's lucky
or because it really is
a lucky hat?
And if it is
such a lucky hat,
how come the last kid
who had it lost it?
[grunts]
One thing was certain.
I knew that I was lucky
with the hat,
so why take a chance
that I'd be unlucky
without it?
[burps]
Faced with those facts,
I made the only choice
I could.
I'd simply never
take my hat off again.
Wherever I went,
my hat came too.
[both snoring]
And the crazy thing was,
the more I wore my hat,
the luckier
I seemed to get.
Huh? All right!
♪♪
Whew-- yes!
I got it! I got it!
[grunts]
Huh?
I love this hat.
♪♪
[humming]
Excuse me, Doug,
but I've been meaning
to ask you something.
Lucky hat time!
She's probably
gonna ask you
to the Spring Carnival.
What is it, Patti?
Well, this may sound
kind of forward of me, but--
Yeah?
Why are you always
wearing that hat?
Huh?
Huh?
Well, I couldn't
tell her the truth.
How could she possibly
understand the wonders
of an actual,
real-life lucky hat?
Well, it's just
a, um, um,
a special hat,
that's all.
I couldn't
help but notice
that you never
take it off.
Is it a bad haircut
under there or what?
Careful with
the hat, Patti.
It's lucky.
Lucky?
Is that it, Doug?
You think your hat
is bringing you luck?
Me? Uh-uh.
Not me, no way.
[Roger]
Then you don't mind
if I borrow it, do you?
Hey!
Hey, man.
Oh, brother.
Knock it off, Funnie.
You just said
you don't think
a hat could be lucky--
prove it!
You tell him, Roger.
Give it up!Yeah, prove it!
Come on, don't be such
a loser, Funnie.
All right, take it.
You can wear it
for a while,
but I want it back.
Relax, pal.
You'll get it back
after my biology test.
[laughs]
It's no big deal, Doug.
Aside from having
hat hair,
everything's
gonna be A-Okay.
[Doug]
My hat.
My hat was gone
and I felt
totally helpless.
My life was doomed
to failure.
Help a guy
down on his luck,
ma'am?
How about you, sir?
Buy some lucky socks?
Sure, kid,
I'll buy a pair.
[snickers]
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Klotz, sir.
Ah, it's the least
I can do.
After all, I'm a huge
mega-mega-success,
thanks to my lucky hat!
[laughs]
♪♪
[splat]
[Doug]
Without my hat,
I felt fuzzy.
My brain just didn't
work right.
Roger's brain,
on the other hand,
seemed to be doing
just fine.
Yeah!
[sighs]
I hated
not having my hat.
I felt absolutely lost.
♪♪
Doug?
Are you okay?
You know, Patti,
I really did believe
my hat was lucky.
Just because
you found a hat
doesn't make you
lucky, Doug.
But you don't
understand, Patti.
That hat found me.
And everything
that happened
after that moment
really did make me
feel like a winner.
Doug, you're a winner
with or without the hat.
Really?
Sure.
Wow
Look at this!
A D-minus! Whoa!
I got a D-minus!
I actually
passed a test!
Funnie, this hat
has changed my life!
Oh, that's great,
Roger.
Congratulations.
By the way,
forget about getting
your hat back.
I think I'll be
hanging onto it
for a long time.
It looks better
on me anyway.
[snickering]
[wind blowing]
Hey!
Come on, Funnie,
we gotta
chase after it!
No--
I'm gonna let it go.
I think it's
somebody else's turn.
♪♪
Come back!
My brains!
♪♪
[Doug]
I may never know
if that hat
really was lucky or not,
but I'll always remember
how it made me feel.
And I'll be ready
if it ever comes back.
[chuckles]
You never know
when there'll be
another windy day.
[wind blowing]
♪♪