Greek s02e13 Episode Script

- Previously - First meeting as actives.
We get to be the guys involved in choosing - the next generation of Kappa Tau.
- I figured I'd walk into a house and just know this is where I'm meant to be.
And I thought I had when I walked into Kappa Tau.
You hear? Iota Kappa Iota, 95 percent.
- Pretty good for our first rush.
- Least we got some.
We're just gonna have to give out some snap bids.
I hate to ask this, but I need a rent check.
For the house? Of course.
- Welcome to Titan Tower Apartments.
- Thanks.
I'll admit I was taken aback when you added two gentlemen roommates.
But these two look responsible.
Come on Griffin, not again! - Have you seen my backpack? - It's on the hook by the door.
We have a hook by the door? We also have a fairly awesome set of nesting saucepans here.
Just figured we might as well share the blessings.
He hath bestowed upon us, right? That's where the smell's coming from.
What? This is your classic bluegrass scramble, couple glasses of Sunny D.
That we're outta the dorm we are gonna start every day with a home-cooked meal.
I need to go to the bookstore.
School supplies can wait.
We are 43 minutes from walking into hostile territory here.
It's an Art History class.
We're highly intelligent men of science who use logic and reason to make our decisions.
If we have to descend into the land of liberal arts, so be it, but I will not let you face it on an empty stomach.
I won't.
You're making the right move.
Smell that.
Look how it congeals.
That'll set your day off.
Get a big gut-full of that.
So, what's in this? You know Eggs, butter, sweet corn, country ham.
A little cheese product.
Although I did have to substitute Spam for the ham.
And I couldn't find any sweet corn so I ended up usin' sweet pickle relish instead.
I really, really need those supplies.
Come on! Come on, Come on, give me a good number here.
Big money.
Stupid calculator.
I hate you.
We're already cutting corners.
If we don't get some more sisters in this house pronto, we're going to have to raise dues.
- Hello, Casey - What? Sorry.
My women's studies class, Sex, Power, and Politics, starts today, and I don't want it to be a repeat of my summer internship in DC.
So, I want to be prepared and taken seriously, I'd start the day off with the Washington Post.
- You're reading the horoscope.
- As a warm-up.
Is our kitchen staff hiding or did Frannie steal them, too? Good morning to you.
Not if we have to bus and wash our own dishes.
Have you seen the kitchen? A Friday mixer with the Kappa Taus is one thing.
Living like them 24-7 is just gross.
We can't really afford a full kitchen staff.
But I did hire a student hasher over the phone yesterday - and he should be here - Sorry.
I'm looking for Ashleigh? What? Me.
Hi, I'm Ashleigh.
I'm Fisher.
The new hasher.
I'm Betsy.
Anyway, I'm late on my first day, I'll spare you the story about my bike and the car that cut me off and I'll just get to work.
I got that.
There you go.
He's a keeper.
-= GREEK 213 =- "Engendered Species" VO: Arrow, Walid20-101, -Ori- [Sub-Way.
fr.]
[SeriesSub.
com.]
Welcome to Perspectives on the High Renaissance.
You'll find your syllabus next to the projector.
No labs, no equations on the board, no board.
This class actually doesn't look bad.
I don't know, man.
Aren't you a little curious about the verbiage? Liberal Arts? It seems like it could attract a certain element.
You know? Like Socialists, tree-huggers, general deviants.
I barely slept.
Again I just Griffin just kept doing it.
All night long.
I get that you people, most of you people, want to have sex, and that's fine.
I don't care.
I just don't want to see it.
Or hear it.
Or feel it brushing up against my leg in the middle of the night.
Let's get started, please.
The word Renaissance means rebirth.
But as we focus on the artists of the 15th and 16th century this semester, one might argue that it refers to an exploration of the flesh.
Correggio's Venus, Cupid and Satyr.
Those are boobs.
Pretty much Sums up my morning.
On your syllabus you'll see that Correggio is our artist for week one.
- Where do we get the syllabus? - For a taste of week two - I'll get you one.
- Here is Leonardo's Vitruvian Man.
- Better.
- Moving on to week three Hurry up.
Sex, power, and politics, please.
Thank God I'm not late.
Pilates class ran long this morning.
There was a traffic jam getting on the reformer, so, you know.
Casey? What are you doing here? I should ask you that question.
I'm just broadening my horizons.
Or should I say horizoning my broads? That was the teacher.
Good morning, everybody.
I hope we're all ready to dive into the theme of blurring traditional gender lines in world politics.
You know, every year there's at least one male who tries to broaden his horizons by taking this class.
That's me.
Vive la femme! How you doing? And every semester, that experiment fails.
Miserably, scholastically and otherwise.
So good luck to you, sir.
Now let's roll up our sleeves and dig in to the Middle East.
So Fisher.
What kind of motorcycle do you have? Is it a big fat hog? No, it's a Triumph.
Does your girlfriend ride on the back? Excuse me.
- Ashleigh, do you have a second? - Sure Fisher.
Girls? Let's give them some privacy.
Sorry.
They're weird.
Or, lonely.
What's up? There's something you should know.
I got fired from the last three sororities where I worked.
This might come off kinda arrogant.
It's just that every house I've worked in, the girls have kind of gone crazy.
Over me.
First it's just flirting, but it always evolves into stalking.
Anyway, the point is, everywhere I go, somehow I end up being a distraction.
And, then I get fired.
I mean, oh! The reason I didn't tell you in the first place is because I'm putting myself through school and I really, really need this job.
So, could you maybe say something to your sisters - to get them to back off a bit? - Yeah, sure.
No ZBZ sister will bother you.
Promise.
Did it look as bad as it felt? Be honest.
It was pretty much the worst public display since Fergie wet her pants on stage.
- Incontinence is a growing epidemic.
- I'm dropping the class.
I'll take an elective in literature next semester.
I'll never see any of those people again.
Until what? The next thing happens? Then you're gonna drop that class, too? I mean, come on, Rusty.
Just drop out of society, then.
You know? Join that cult.
Get you three teenage wives.
'Cause fear is a downward spiral that knows no bottom.
I just wanted to make sure you're OK.
Spill looked pretty painful.
- Wasn't as bad as it looked.
- You just said it almost Dale! We gotta go.
- We have nowhere to go.
- Now.
It was extremely cool you tried to help me out.
Thank you.
No problem.
I'm Jordan.
I don't usually run after guys to say hello, but Oh, God, you're bleeding.
What? Yeah, that's nothing.
What'd you think of the class? It was my first class actually.
I just transferred.
I don't know anyone.
Not a soul.
Now you know the guy who face-planted in Art History.
And bled a little.
Very true.
All right.
So now that you're my first friend at CRU, can you tell me where the social science quad is? You see that brick building way out in the distance? Directly behind that.
No way.
OK, I have to run, like, literally.
- Are you gonna be OK? - Yeah, thank you.
All right.
I'll see you in class Thursday.
I think I have a girl crush on her.
She totally put you in your place.
A girl crush? You and Professor Freeman? Hold on, let me get a visual here - You're aggressive! - You're disgusting.
Which reminds me, your house better be clean for the KT-ZBZ mixers this Friday.
Since when are ZBZ sisters worried about being dirty? Cappie's in my Women's Studies class.
That's an interesting area for you to study.
I love studying women.
This guy - How's your beaker? - My I'm working with a cement compound now, so So? So, we don't use beakers.
Not enough tensile strength.
- Yeah, me, too.
- I am so gonna be late for my class.
- Weren't you going to walk me? - Yes.
See ya.
Douche.
I'm sorry, did you just call me a douche? - What's that? - You just called me a douche.
What? I don't say OK, the last time I saw you, you said it then, too.
- I'm sure he didn't, Max.
- No, he did.
I not sure I like what you're inferring.
- Implying.
- Exactly.
Hello! Late for class.
Education's important.
We're the future.
We should go.
Never mind.
Douche.
They're guys.
That's what they do.
They act all tough and call each other names.
Suck it, douche! See? Maybe.
I just don't want this to turn into the same nightmare that was Evan and Cappie last year.
Maybe that should tell you something.
Maybe I should do something before it spirals out of control? That maybe God didn't create the universe for boyfriends and ex-boyfriends to get along.
But this is Max and Cappie.
They're great guys.
They shouldn't just get along, they should be friends.
Is that not possible? It's as possible as us finding three girls to give snap bids.
We only have this week to do it.
Beautiful night? The moon just lights up the whole sky.
Someone took a club drug? I met a girl.
She's beautiful, and smart, and funny.
That's great, Rus.
Does she want to join ZBZ? - I don't know.
- You should ask her.
Because we're unofficially desperate for sisters.
I don't really know if she's the sorority type.
You said she's a girl, you said she's beautiful, and you said What else did you say? Do it, Rus.
Before Ashleigh calls you a douche.
And I will, bro.
Omicron, Pi, Rho, Sigma, Tau, Upsilon, Phi, Psi, Chi, Omega.
- And spicy ketchup.
- Where'd you score these? In the fridge behind Beaver's socks.
Well done.
Have some fries, pledge.
Yes, sir.
You should ask that girl out, Rus.
That's what my roommate does and it clearly works for him.
All night long.
See, showing up at her dorm is what freshman Rusty would do.
Sophomore Rusty is a different guy.
Sophomore Rusty is patient.
He plays it cool.
He's not a stalker.
He builds that foundation of friendship, and he waits for the fates to conspire to create that perfect moment.
And he talks about himself in the third person.
I'll talk to her in class, and see what happens.
I don't know, man.
I'm with Calvin.
I think you should just go for it.
- Always worked for me.
- You're a freshman, Andy.
Calvin's gay.
Women in college are different, trust me.
You'll see, little Padawan.
You'll see.
I hope you don't mind that I study down here.
I always get really restless in the bedroom.
You know? Yeah, sure.
I'm so tired! I could use a pick me up.
If I make the coffee, will you foam the milk? Your girlfriend called.
She said she had another outbreak.
And she said to get more ointment.
I'm tired.
Night everybody! Not exactly what I had in mind, but pretty genius.
Right? So, your girlfriend's name is Vivian, she studies design, and you met her last summer in Dayton.
Sounds like a great girl.
I mean, aside from her unfortunate, condition.
I wouldn't let you date just anybody.
- Do you have a real girlfriend? - Nope.
I don't have herpes, either.
In case you were wondering.
Awesome! All right.
You get back to work.
Just getting my book, so I'm really not looking.
- Hey, man.
Where've you been? - Running late, Cal.
OK.
Listen, man.
Griffin is a total horn-dog.
- I don't even think he goes to class.
- That's awesome.
No, it's not.
It's a nightmare.
I was wondering, since you're my big brother, and the president of the fraternity, you could help me get me get a different roommate.
It's probably too late for that.
What am I supposed to do? I haven't slept in two nights.
I don't know.
Buy some earplugs? Good morning.
I know you called me a douche yesterday.
I think you're paranoid and a bit delusional and from the looks of it, a hair over-caffeinated.
- One of these is for Casey.
- No duh.
Are you always so literal? - Did you just say "no duh?" - Are you always so deaf? You called me a douche.
What'd you get her? - Mocha, soy milk, three shots.
- Half-caf? - She doesn't drink half-caf.
- She has since I've known her.
But maybe now that she's with you, she needs the caffeine to stay awake.
Or, maybe she just realized she'd rather be alert than go through life like - Like what? - Like you.
What's going on? - Nothing.
- Nothing.
Guys? You'd better get to class! Thanks.
You're welcome.
I'll see you later.
Notice the satisfied posture, the seductively-parted lips.
Is it hard to imagine the state of the Satyr's genitalia, so subtly hidden behind the blue drapery? See you all next week.
- I can't believe she didn't show.
- I can't believe I'm still awake.
Griffin and Jenna had another marathon session last night.
Is her last name Talia? Jenna? Jenna Talia? - This class is getting to me.
- I'm sorry I'm late, Professor Summerfield.
I really don't want to fall behind, so is it possible for me to watch your lecture online? The Internet is where art goes to die, young lady.
You're welcome to stay and look at the slides, but I can't help you with the lecture.
I took notes.
I can help you through it, if you want.
You're awesome.
I'm awesome.
So, without looking at your notes, what do Kollontai, Suu Kyi, and Meir had in common? Besides being incredible women and effective leaders? I believe if you look at the political careers of all three women the common thread is a strong record of conflict resolution.
That's exactly right.
By the way, I'm available as a study partner, or for anyone who just wants to spoon.
So generous of you to offer.
Thank you.
So.
Bear in mind what we've been discussing.
It is a woman's instinct that compels her to resolve conflict.
That's why these women were so effective at bringing opposing parties together.
Great class, everybody.
See you next week.
Thank you.
Deer in the headlights, Case.
They don't have a chance.
Maybe I'll even take you up on your offer.
- Spooning? - Studying.
- You free later today? - For actually studying? Where we actually study? Dobler's, 2:00? Drinking and studying.
Yes.
That I can do.
You wanna meet me for a late lunch? So this new concrete would mean any new road or freeway would be, like, 20 percent thinner.
Which is interesting because all the natural resources you would save, like gypsum.
This is really boring, isn't it? I like gypsum.
And I like you even more.
A kiss goodbye? Always tugs at the heart strings.
You are leaving, aren't you? What are you doing here? I was invited by Casey.
To study.
And drink.
OK, so I invited you both.
So you two could talk and resolve the conflict between you two.
- You set this up? - That is spectacularly lame.
Maybe, but you can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
Indira Gandhi said that.
That was not in our reading.
It was in my horoscope, in The Washington Post.
Never mind.
The point is, you guys could be friends, and that's never gonna happen unless you guys talk.
Why don't you talk about whatever your problem is with Max? Let's just get it out in the open.
I don't have a problem with Max.
I don't.
How about your feelings about Cappie? I'm fine with my feelings about Cappie.
Come on.
The longer we avoid dealing with this, the worse it's going to get.
I should get back.
Yeah, good luck paving that driveway.
Yeah, good luck with your extensive jewelry collection.
The next time you want a study buddy, why don't you just ask that frowny girl with the overbite.
This one is called Leda and the Swan.
It's from the Greek myth.
Zeus was in love with this beautiful mortal woman named Leda, so he transformed himself into a swan and impregnated her.
Wait.
She had sex with a swan? How does that work? Actually, it's an anatomical impossibility.
What about this one? This one is called Danae.
Is she giving birth? Apparently, she's being impregnated by a curtain of divine rain.
That makes more sense.
Our dog has sex with our curtains all the time.
That's why my mom bought blinds.
You know, I'm actually really glad I missed class.
It's so much more fun doing this with you.
I think Professor Summerfield needs to get out more.
Or buy some curtains.
What's next? - Can I ask you a question? - Are you gonna ask me out? Do you want to join a sorority? What can I do for you? I've been thinking.
A lot.
About conflict resolution and the challenges faced by our great female leaders.
- Great.
- And I'm wondering what they did when the opposing parties wouldn't even acknowledge the conflict? Can you be more specific? It sort of involves my boyfriend.
And another person who is technically my ex-boyfriend.
And, conflict ensues.
So you'd like to exploit the principles you learn in my class for the sake of your social life.
Is that bad? Honestly, its nauseating.
But I was a girl with a social life not long ago.
Let's start with you.
Women are wired to desire harmony.
It's in our DNA.
That's why we care about things like world hunger and the environment.
Or spirit week! Or spirit week.
Men, on the other hand, are more ego-driven.
Actually, that's nothing like my boyfriend at all.
No, it's not personality.
It's DNA.
He's probably reluctant to confront the problem because he can't see anything to gain by doing so.
So I have to give them each something to gain.
Either that, or get 'em drunk and let them slug it out in a basement somewhere.
After all, boys will be boys.
- You going home? - Yeah.
Got a paper to write.
But I wanted to say thanks.
Ever since Vivian and her herpes came into my life the other girls have pretty much left me alone.
You've kind of been my superhero.
Saving hot guys from the clutches of horny girls everywhere! I meant temperature hot.
Is the air conditioner even working? Hey, guys! Night! Let this be a lesson.
Herpes can afflict even the hot dudes.
But, the triethanolamine level has nothing to do with the agglomeration.
- If you'd give me a chance to show - Butter nut crunch! No, sir, I do not think I'm a smarty-pants.
If I were a smarty-pants I would tell you that I'll see you tomorrow.
Every day I try and tell myself that working in concrete is more than just working in concrete.
But it just isn't.
Wanna talk about it? I just wanna be with you.
Then let me feed you ice cream.
- All right.
- And apologize for Dobler's.
I was so focused on getting you and Cappie together that I never really figured out how to get you to talk.
I don't know we have much to talk about.
But you're both great guys.
You should be friends.
- Why? - Because Because Because it's nice to have friends.
- I already have friends.
- But don't you want more? You can never have too many.
But he doesn't like me.
Why would I want to be friends with him? I'm in a relationship with this amazing guy who I really care about.
And I've got this friend, who I dated, yes, and OK, maybe he's sort of annoying, but I really care about him, too.
And maybe I'm being selfish, but I don't want to have to give up one of them.
I did that once before and it sucks.
I just want to feel like I can be your girlfriend and Cappie's friend all at the same time.
So, it would make you happy if we got along? That's all you had to say.
Really? I love you, Casey.
I love you, too.
So What do you want me to do now? Say it again.
I love you, Casey.
But I meant what do you want me to do now about me and Cappie.
Come to the mixer with me? I can do that.
I love you, too.
Not bad.
Not good, but It doesn't have that neglected men's room smell anymore.
Look out below! We gotta make this thing go faster.
Excuse me.
Do you have a water-based, dry-glide silicone in a moly spray? - Moly? - The basic - He's fine.
Let's mingle.
- I have to find Cappie.
Dude, you're wearing a skirt.
- It's called a sarong, moron.
- I'd call it a so right.
Would you? You made it! - Looks like a great party! - We always have the best! Beer bottle juggling guy! Awesome! Kappa Tau's definitely a unique experience.
But once you get to know it, you can't help but love it.
I can tell.
- There's my sister.
- Come on, I'll introduce you.
Can I make a confession? Sure.
I'm a little nervous about the whole sorority thing.
I don't usually make friends with these kind of girls.
Really, any girls.
But that's the great thing about the Greek system.
There's a place for everybody.
No matter who you are, there's an entire house full of guys, or girls who are ready to be your friend and support you no matter what.
- That sounds kind of great.
- It is.
And if it's not this sorority, it'll be another one.
Don't stress about it.
Who's your friend? Casey, this is Jordan.
The girl I was telling you about.
Nice to meet you! So you're interested in joining ZBZ? - I think so.
- Cool! Shape-shifter.
When last we met, you looked suspiciously like one of Frannie's IKI clones.
That.
I was just spying for ZBZ.
Spying? What's your next assignment, wiretapping your dad's satellite offices? The only satellite my dad has is attached to the DVR at home.
He gave up his Senate seat.
Yikes.
No longer the senator's daughter.
How will we categorize you? I've been giving that some thought myself.
You know, it's been four months since we broke up.
So, you can officially categorize me as a friend.
The four-month rule.
I guess if we had this conversation two weeks ago, - it would've been totally awkward.
- Timing's everything.
Scouting the talent, Spitter? Where are the Jell-o shots? Here! A non-greek at a greek mixer? Not in my backyard.
Sorry, Case.
You know how persnickety the interfraternity council can be.
You don't because you're not Greek.
I don't make the rules.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, Max.
- Excuse us.
- I'll be right back for you.
Screw the rules.
Including the one that says you and Max can't get along.
Good God, woman, are you on repeat with this? Listen to me.
You are my friend, and I care about you.
But Max is my boyfriend.
If things keep going this way, and if I have to choose between you and my boyfriend? Then, I'm sorry, but I'm going to end up choosing him.
What? Did he give you an ultimatum? Like Evan? He didn't, but I'm giving you one.
If you care, at all, about our friendship, you'll figure out a way to make this work.
Please.
- Where are you going? - To make my move.
Go for it! All right.
Everybody out, now.
Let's go! Let's go, come on! Rhino? - Listen, Cappie - Just let me think, OK? I gotta figure out how we're going to bond.
We can get drunk.
We'll end up getting in a fight.
Wait.
That's not a bad idea.
We could fight.
That's how we bond.
Like in Fight Club.
That's brilliant, right? All right.
Max, I want you to hit me.
As hard as you can.
I don't think getting bruised and bloody is what Casey wants.
Good point.
We'll stick to the body.
Nothing below the ribs.
Actually, avoid the ribs altogether, I'm kinda sore from Pilates.
I'm not going to hit you.
That's the stupidest idea.
I don't hear anything better.
- 'Cause you won't shut up! - If you would just Look, I get why you don't like me.
I'm this weird, sort of quiet guy who's usually in his head.
I don't have your sense of humor, or The mumbling, that's really annoying.
Meanwhile, you know Casey's just about the greatest girl you could ever know.
And I'm the one who brings her coffee.
And that probably sucks.
There's no way we're gonna be friends, is there? Then let's try something else.
What can I say except mazeltov, my little Golda Meir! - You were right.
This guy's awesome! - This guy is the awesome one.
You shut up.
Shut up.
- Stop it! - What happened? It was like you said.
As soon as we got a chance to just talk We figured out it was just a big man-crush.
Right, pal? A man-crush.
Just a big man-crush.
That's all it was.
- Sorry.
- It's fine.
That's right.
Look, how about we go get a beer, you big bag of douche! He called me a douche.
That's hilarious.
- You think they bought it? - Dude, we were spot on.
- Men are the worst liars.
- Seriously.
At least they're trying, though.
I guess part of being a great leader is knowing you can't change human nature.
Sometimes you have to just tame it.
There you are.
Ashleigh told me that ZBZ's gonna offer me a snap bid.
I don't know what that is, but I think it means they want me.
- How cool is that? - Pretty cool.
Thank you so much.
I was totally lost here until I met you.
We're heading back to the house.
Come check it out! - See you in class, right? - See you in class.
Kick-ass party? I love this place.
Did your girl ever show up? Tough break, man.
I just met this awesome chick.
So cool.
Go get me a beer, pledge.
What are you doing here so late? I got an 8:00 AM class, so I figured I'd get my work done now.
You want me to come back? I need to go to bed anyway.
Superheroes need their sleep, too.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
Sleep well.
You, too.
When you, eventually, go to sleep.
I don't want to be a superhero anymore.
I want to hang up my cape.
What about Vivian? She called.
Said she wanted to break up with you.
What's going on? You want to tell him? There's actually two girls in Ohio named Jenna Talia.
We found'em on my Christian social networking site.
That's not what I was talking about.
I was just gonna crash a couple nights.
You know, hope Griffin gets tired.
That way, I can catch up on some sexless sleep.
I think it's safe to say there'll be no sex in this apartment.
Thanks, buddy.
Did something happen at the mixer? I just don't get how it's so easy for some guys.
Like all they have to do is exist and they get the girl.
It's a gift.
But, you know.
Heavy is the crown, too.
- What is this? - That's an Arkansas Shipwreck.
You take leftover bluegrass scrambler and leftover tuna casserole and just kind of mash'em together.
What do you think? It's not that bad.
Sorry, guys.
I gotta go.
All right.
Thanks.
You OK? - I'm all right.
- Where's your car? I think it got stolen.
The Iron Man car? You call the police? I did.
I mean, I talked to them.
They'll find it, right? Let's just go.
Let's get out of here, man.
Dude, what's going on? Seriously.
- Don't forgot your bag.
- Thanks.
I'll call you tomorrow? I don't know what I'm doing.
Just drive, man.
Let's just get out of here.