Harvey Beaks (2015) s02e13 Episode Script

1 [cheerful music.]
# Harvey # # Harvey # # Harvey # [grunting.]
Why are you doing this? I don't know.
Why not? Huh? Guess I never thought of that.
Hey, Fee! Did you get a new weapon? Yeah, I got it at Jeremy's house.
Wow.
Jeremy is so nice to let you borrow his ax.
Fee, please give me my ax back.
Oh, you really shouldn't steal weapons.
They're not for children.
Oh.
Okay.
Here you go.
Wah! [music.]
All: Whoa! # He does what is right # # He does what's correct # # Jeremy is the defender of the forest, yeah # # Yeah, yeah # Hey, Jeremy, why do you even own a weapon? Jeremy owning a weapon is like if a marshmallow owned a weapon.
Good analogy, Foo! Oh, I used to be defender of the forest.
What? Well, thousands of years ago, Littlebark was plagued by a horrible evil, and his name was Dark Tooth.
Nyah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sally forth, my minions! Use your toxic drool! Poison the forest! Well done, Oliver! Well done! Soon, this land will rot, and I, Dark Tooth, with my tooth of venom, will rule everything! Wait wait a second.
What's going on here? [grunting.]
I'm what's going on here! Jeremy, my old nemesis.
Let's finish this, Dark Tooth.
Ooh-hoo! A final battle.
[both grunting.]
Come at me! Block with that tooth, yeah [both yelling.]
# Spank! Slap! Bang! Chess! # [both panting.]
I see your strength is as strong as ever, Dark Tooth.
I see that your voice is as dumb as ever! [gasps.]
Wha [yelling.]
Your punches hurt, Dark Tooth, but your words hurt more.
Thank you.
Keep crying, Jeremy.
I've got a forest to destroy.
I won't let you win! [crying.]
Oh! Huh? Eh? What? Looks like my tears coagulated to form this magic crystal ball, and I'm gonna use it to defeat you! That doesn't make any sense.
You'd never understand the powers of righteousness! Ow.
Mm no! No! [music.]
I did it! But that was a long time ago.
I hope you like Earl Grey.
Thank you.
Dang, Jeremy.
You were so cut.
What happened? Ever since I sealed Dark Tooth away for eternity, I haven't really had to battle anyone, so I guess I've gotten a little soft.
You're perfect, Jeremy.
All bodies are beautiful.
Ugh, come on.
Don't you have any cool warrior stuff around? Oh, yeah, sure.
Uh, let me show you.
This is my armory/craft room.
Ooh! So, over there is my old battle suit, and there's my shield and some old weapons.
And here's the most dangerous item of all Knitting needles! Well, yes, and also this.
Dark Tooth.
The most diabolical evil the world has ever known.
I want to touch it.
No, no, no! Seriously, I cannot stress how dangerous and delicate this thing is.
So now to put it back and whoa! Whoa! [all gasp.]
[whimpering and yelling.]
Whoa, no! [glass shatters.]
Whoa! Nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! [all coughing.]
Is everyone okay? Uh, Harvey? Mm myeh! - What the heck? - Oh, no! It's him! Myah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yah-heh-heh! Finally, a new physical form for me to inhabit.
Mm yes! Hey, you freak.
You're not Harvey.
Oh, little Harvey's locked away good and tight.
Trapped inside of his own mind.
Mamma mia, this ain't good.
Now, to finish what I started.
I won't let you get away with this, Dark Tooth! Oh, really? Well, then, who's going to alphabetize all of these books for me? Uh eh well, this will only take a second.
Nyah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Harvey's so silly.
Oh, man.
You got to do something, Jeremy.
Jeremy? What are you doing? Stress knitting.
You're the defender of the forest, so go defend the forest! I'm sorry, Fee.
I'm just not the man I used to be.
Well, maybe if you dressed like the man you used to be Uh Last one! Okay.
Now, it's time to talk, mister.
What's that? I can't hear you.
I'm too busy being evil! Have you even tried being good? Being good makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I don't like warm and fuzzy.
I want to feel cold and buff.
For thousands of years, all I could think about is destroying this forest.
Whoa! You never thought about chocolate cake? Ooh! [chomping.]
Yes, that is quite nummy.
But not as nummy as destruction! [spits.]
[venom sizzles.]
Myah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Aw, darn! Okay, you ready? You got to fight # Do what's correct # # Oh, Jeremy # So, how do you feel? He's tough I feel incredible.
Big muscles Okay.
Let's do this.
# Yeah! # Yes.
Finally! Wet Bark Lake the life force of the forest.
I shall drip my hot tooth sludge into these waters, and my poison will spread everywhere! Oh, I can't watch! [heaving.]
- Not so fast! - Huh? [grunting and groaning.]
Woof.
[panting.]
I won't let you destroy Littlebark! [laughing.]
Jeremy, you dork! You look like a giant sentient marshmallow! Oh well, um Come on, Jeremy! Show him who's boss.
Yes, Jeremy.
Come and fight me.
Uh uh, okay.
Here I come! # Doing what's right # [music stops.]
Myah! Maybe try not to kill Harvey? Oh! Oh, gosh.
Oh, gosh.
What do I do? Hey, maybe we can talk this out, you know? Uh, we don't have to fight.
Well, I do.
Wedgie! You can't catch me.
You can't catch me.
Whoa! Give up, Jeremy.
I'm too powerful.
Now, back to business.
[farts.]
[gasps.]
I don't toot! Anyways, no more dilly-dallying.
[spits.]
Yes! Oh! How awful! The lake, she spoils! Help! [heaving.]
[venom sizzling.]
[music.]
Oh, no! He's gonna destroy everything! [growls.]
Hey! Dark Tooth! - Huh? - Take me.
Oh, my goodness.
What are you going on about? Possess me instead of Harvey.
- What? - Is he crazy? Yeah, why would I want your dumpy body? I may not have muscles now, but I used to, and wouldn't you rather possess the body of a warrior than a little itty-bitty child? Hmm.
Yes, that's a fair point.
And with a Paleo diet, I can bring back that body in no time.
All right.
You have a deal.
Okay.
Uh, I'm ready.
[inhales deeply.]
[burps loudly.]
Oh! That's disgusting.
Oh! Oh Yes! Pretty nice place you've got here.
The perfect vessel for me to plant my evil roots.
Prepare yourself for the true final battle, Jeremy.
You got it, Dark Tooth.
But how about some Earl Grey first? Harvey! Wake up! Are you still evil? [groans.]
Well, I got a wicked headache, but I'm a good boy again.
Both: Yay! [gasps.]
Oh, my gosh! Jeremy! [whimpering.]
[both laughing.]
Oliver was such a little scamp! He really was.
Can I get you a refill? Oh, yes, please.
Hey, wait a second.
Why aren't we fighting? You know, Dark Tooth, we've been enemies for a long time, and, well, have you ever thought about combining our powers? You know, like friends.
Friends? I've actually never had a friend before.
You know, that's probably why I feel so angry all the time, and it is true our powers combined would be fearsome.
Well, I know this is a little sudden, but, uh, well, let's live together! It's not much, but I keep the place pretty clean, and I know you like being cold, so I've got the AC turned up, and I got a weight set over there 'cause I know you like being all buff, so what do you say? Hmm.
Mm! Hmm.
Bwah! Are you evil? Huh? Wha oh, Foo! - Foo, it's it's me.
- Oh, good.
I guess we don't have to drop that boulder on you.
Oh, yeah.
Please don't.
[music.]
So Dark Tooth is inside of your brain? Yep.
Uh, we made up, and, well, we're friends now.
Well, who wouldn't want to be friends with Jeremy? Oh, shucks.
Does Dark Tooth like it in there? Mm yes! I love it! Okay, well, we're just not gonna talk about that.
[upbeat music.]
Oh, my gosh! Daddy! Daddy, I I just did something amazing! I got to tell you! Daddy! I'm so excited to tell you about my day! I can't wait to tell Daddy tell Daddy what Claire Oh, she's so dumb! I got to [panting.]
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! I'm so excited [panting.]
Daddy! Listen! Daddy! I got to Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Quiet, please, Princess! I'm communicating with my favorite crystal.
But you always talk to your crystals! Why don't you talk to me? Oops, look at the time.
I'm off to the baths.
Daddy! No, wait! I got to tell you something! There's pizza rolls in the fridge.
Daddy, I don't want pizza rolls! I want to talk to you! Namaste where you are.
I'll be back soon.
[door closes.]
Daddy? Daddy? [music.]
Why can't you listen?! [humming.]
Why are we at Princess' again? Today is International Friends Day.
It was Cleaning Day, then Board Game Day, then Puppy and Cauliflower Day, then Friendship Day.
And Princess is our friend! Really? Well, yeah.
Does she know that? What do you want? - We just came over to hang out.
- Fine, whatever.
You can help me break my dad's stuff.
Well, don't just stand there.
Destroy something! [chomping.]
Man, I didn't know about hanging with Princess, but this is kind of awesome.
Better do some damage control.
I hate you, dumb Daddy's pillow! Dumb Daddy's vase! Daddy's dumb candles! Daddy's dumb gong! [music.]
And Daddy's dumb butter! [chomps.]
And Daddy's stupid balloons! Hmm.
Hmm? [ethereal music.]
[crystal tinkling.]
[fire sizzles.]
[growls.]
Daddy's dumb crystal! Uh-oh! That looks expensive.
[both panting.]
No! [music.]
Oh, goodness.
What happened? Is everyone okay? [gasps.]
That's not my voice.
That's Princess' voice! Ew! What the heck? Why is my head so heavy? Are you guys okay? Guys, I'm trapped.
I think I'm Princess.
And I think I'm Harvey! I don't like it! Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
[grunting.]
Give me back my body! Uh, guys? Any ideas? Foo, I think that crystal caused this.
We need to find another crystal to fix them.
Give me back my body! Oh, my gosh! I'm so upset! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! I'm so worked up! Oh, my gosh! This head is so heavy! Oh, no! Princess tuckered herself out.
But I have to get home for dinner.
What am I gonna do? Calm down, dude.
We can find another crystal that works.
All we need is a little more time.
Foo, you take Harvey's body back to his house, and stall.
Aye, aye, mon capitan.
Harvey and I will stay here and leave no gem unturned.
Oh.
Okay.
But hang on one sec.
[lips pucker.]
Lady business.
Okay, I'm ready.
[snoring.]
I think three pieces of pizza is enough for you, Claire! [snoring.]
Well, today's different.
[music.]
[gasps.]
Where am I? Who are they? We're your parents.
- You're not my - Harvey hungry.
Aren't you, Harvey? I'm not Harvey! Yes, you are.
Just be Harvey.
I'm not Harvey! Just be Harvey for, like, an hour.
I'm not Harvey! - Just be Harvey.
- I'm not Yes, Harv.
Just be yourself.
Oh, is this for some sort of play you're in, Harvey? What role are you playing? I bet I know.
Is it the casserole? Careful, dear.
That's very hot.
[chomping.]
Well, Harvey sure likes it.
Look at him go.
What? Why are you staring at me? We're just lookin' at you.
- Why? - 'Cause we love you.
- Why? - 'Cause we care about you.
- Why? - 'Cause you're our kid.
- Why? - 'Cause, well, you just are.
Come on, Harvey.
Tell us about your day.
We're listening.
Wait, you're listening? That's all I ever asked for.
Whee! Okay, so, Claire was all like, "Hi, Princess," and I said, "Oh, I'm Claire!" Mm-hmm.
And I was thinking I'm a queen.
Queen! Then Claire was all like, "I like your dress.
" Like, duh, right? She wears the same thing every day, but I wear a better dress every day.
That's so interesting.
I'm a total spring, and she's a winter garbage.
Claire was, like, my second BFF once, but now I'm my number one BFF, so it doesn't really matter what Claire thinks at all.
I'm the best! I know it! It's hard being this perfect.
So yeah, that's basically everything that happened.
Wow, sounds like you had a really great day, champ.
Thanks for sharing with us, sweetie.
This was the best day ever! Ugh, another dud.
Man, who'd have thought Old Man Roberts' crystals would actually do anything? Having any luck, dude? No, but I still feel pretty.
[frilly flute music.]
This is so frustrating.
Maybe we should just go back to breaking stuff.
[grunts.]
[crystal humming.]
Both: Whoa! Fee, I think that's it.
[music.]
There.
Good to "glow.
" Harvey.
[doorbell rings.]
Good news.
We found the crystal to switch us back.
No! Leave me alone, you jerks! What's gotten into me? I used to be so nice.
Yo, Princess.
It's time to change back.
You can't have Harvey's body forever.
Harvey's dumb lamp! [grunts.]
[glass shatters.]
[music.]
Harvey's dumb books! [grunts.]
[both yelling.]
Take your nerd stuff! This is my house now! She's making a mess with my cleaning supplies.
How dare you? I'm never leaving! People listen to me here! I deserve the best! Harvey's dumb bed! [grunts.]
This is why we don't hang out with Princess.
Go away! I'm gonna tear you from Harvey's body with my bare hands.
You'll have to come up and get me! This is my family now! Game's over, Princess.
[grunts.]
[music.]
Games are dumb! Come on, Harvey.
Pick up the pace.
[panting.]
It's difficult in this body.
[pants.]
[lock clicks.]
She's locked herself in your bathroom.
We're doomed.
Girls stay in there forever.
Well, how do we get in? You can't.
I have it locked down like an army bunker.
A man needs his privacy.
If only we had an inside man.
[music.]
Flush.
Warmed it up for you, Harv.
Foo! You saved the day! I did? It's over, Princess.
Argh! No! This is my life now! Uh uh don't make me use this! [gasps.]
Be careful, Fee.
I think she's serious.
Okay, okay.
We'll leave.
But first, catch! - Huh? - Now, Harvey! [both grunt.]
[whoosh.]
[both groaning.]
Did it work? Uh [grunts.]
I think so? What did you guys do? I can't believe you changed us back! I could've stayed here forever! I had a family and an assortment of food.
Basically, you ruined my life.
Ruined it! [sobs.]
Ew! Wait, gross! What is that wet thing on my beautiful face? Get it off! Princess, I know you're upset, but have you just tried telling your dad what you need? Course I have.
I'm not dumb like Claire.
No, I haven't.
[Dr.
Roberts and Princess chanting.]
Daddy, after we're done, I want to [gasps.]
I mean I want to talk about some things with you.
Why, of course, Princess! What a novel idea for a father and daughter.
Have we ever done that before? No.
What do you want to talk about? This girl, Claire.
She is so dumb.
Ha! Yes, she does sound dumb.
Tell me more.