Home Economics (2021) s02e13 Episode Script

1 Chapter 20.
Valentine's Day was approaching, the one holiday the Hayworth siblings never celebrated together.
And that in itself was cause for celebration.
Yes, it is.
Valentine's Day is a scam, okay? It's consumerist, it's artificial, obviously heteronormative.
- That's my gal.
- Look, I love my wife.
But why do I have to spend money to show it, hmm? - See? Cost nothing.
- Aww.
[laughter.]
[speaking Spanish.]
Stop throwing croissants at your cousins! We shouldn't have to say this every weekend.
Well, at least Valentine's is a night without children.
[baby crying.]
- Not it.
- Not it.
Damn it.
So I'm guessing you two haven't told Gretchen that you're dating.
I'm just waiting for the right time.
Whenever you're ready.
I'm thinking maybe when she goes off to college.
- Yeah.
- [laughs.]
What? I just don't know how to tell her that I'm so serious about someone that for Valentine's Day I'm taking her to Silo.
Oh, I read about that place.
The food's supposed to be insane.
And it's in an empty bomb shelter underneath an abandoned subway tunnel.
Very cool, Connor.
Wow, so cool.
Hey, we should clear these.
'Bout to get thanked.
Ew.
Babe, Silo is such a crazy surprise.
Yeah.
I knew you'd love it.
I do.
But I was gonna surprise you.
We've been going to lots of cool places, but I thought we could keep Valentine's Day simple.
Something I can pay for, for once.
Since Gretchen will be at her mom's, I was thinking we could do pizza and a movie at your place.
It'll be more romantic.
I promise.
Totally.
No problem.
Big problem.
JoJo has other plans for Valentine's Day.
ALL: Oh.
No, other plans with me.
- ALL: Ah.
- Yay! Yeah, but Silo's already paid for, and it's non-refundable, so if I made the reservation for four, would you guys be down to take it? - Otherwise it's just a complete loss.
- No, thank you.
- Yes, that's nice.
- Yes.
- Oh, my God.
- It's so elitist you guys said yes.
Yay! Valentine's Day! [upbeat music.]
[soft piano music playing.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, I don't think we're cool enough to be here.
Something for the Gram.
Yeah, definitely not.
Ooh.
Watermelon vodka and hibiscus liqueur, with a champagne nitrogen popsicle served inside hand-blown Austrian glassware.
This is Silo.
[gasps, laughter.]
- What? - It's just it's made-up.
It's mad libs.
Like, oh, drink this chocolate martini out of a man's shoe.
But it's so good.
Yeah, and it probably costs, like, $500.
It's not even our money.
Connor's paying for it.
Like, why you always have to focus on the negative? Well, that's her love language.
Just try to keep it light, you know, it's Valentine's Day.
I'm not negative.
Or to put it in a not negative way, I am positive.
- Really? - I am, or I can be.
I-I love this place.
It's totally my vibe.
Cheers, Lulu.
- To us! - Aw, to us.
Lion's mane mushrooms dusted with gold leaf.
This is Silo.
Gold leaf.
Gold leaf, mmm.
Bet you can taste the money.
I feel rich.
Are you sure you're okay not being at the fanciest of fancy restaurants? If I was there, I probably wouldn't be doing this, or this, or this.
- [laughing.]
- [light beeping.]
Security cam.
I'll tell the pizza guy to throw it over the gate.
You better not! [laughs.]
Uh, not pizza.
It's Gretchen and Emily.
What? Oh, my God.
Okay.
[clears throat.]
[both blowing.]
I'll I'll be in the pantry.
Okay.
Thank you.
Uh There's your phone charger's still in there and there's, like, peanut butter if you get hungry, I guess.
[quirky music.]
- Hey! Sweetie.
- Hey, Daddy! - What a surprise.
- Sorry, she forgot her stuffed animal.
I offer to buy her a new one, but she's all about that bear.
Yeah.
Benny Bear.
He's, uh, one hell of a guy.
Oh, I have had a day.
We had to write down the Summit deal by 50 mil.
Oh, man.
Bet you just wanna get home and be home, huh? I see you broke open the bottle of Lafite.
Two glasses.
You got a big date? No.
No.
Just just double-fisting it.
You know how I roll, just me and myself and two glasses of vino.
- Yeah.
- [knock at door.]
Hey, I got a pizza for JoJo.
JoJo? JoJo.
Who is JoJo? Who is that? Oh, you know what? I ordered it for Coco.
I've been going by Coco these days.
Oh, why? - Just trying it out, okay? - Wait, is JoJo here? Mom, that's Aunt Denise's sister.
Oh, is that right? JoJo? JoJo! - Huh, Gretchen.
- Wow.
Okay.
Hey, G.
What's happening? Hi, I'm JoJo.
Emily.
Gretchen's mom.
Connor's ex wife.
Anybody gonna take the pizza? Yeah.
Yes.
Seafood menagerie.
This is Silo.
Oh.
That's a that's a lot of seafood.
Well, whenever I "see food," I eat it.
Where do I get this stuff? There is no way those oysters were sustainably farmed.
Uh, hey, what about a little dance break, huh? Me and you? Oh, I don't think this music's really for dancing.
You can dance to anything if you want.
Huh? - I don't think that's true.
- [gags.]
Hey, guys.
What do you think about spicing it up a little bit, huh? Maybe, like, a little Sarah McLachlan? Tracy Chapman? No? Okay.
That's fine.
This is good too.
I like this.
Come with me to the bathroom.
Oh, okay.
Lulu? Oh, my "cod.
" These oysters look "shucking" fantastic.
[chuckling.]
I'm a writer.
- Hey, you okay? - I'm-I'm feeling very queasy, and literally the only other times that shellfish made me queasy was when I was pregnant.
Well, it's a good thing you're not pregnant.
Wait, are you pregnant? You're not pregnant.
Are you pregnant? My period is a few days late.
That could be anything.
That could be early menopause.
- Oh, I wish.
- You wish? Oh, but Tom and I, we've been doing it a lot lately.
Especially last week when my dad came to visit.
Oh, no, did my dad make me pregnant? Okay.
Let's not phrase it like that.
- What if it's twins again? - Okay.
We don't know if it's anything again.
Oh, I-I no, no, no, I can't have another baby.
I didn't even want these last ones.
Don't tell him I said that.
Denise, you do not know what it's like.
That that is true.
When we adopted Kelvin and Shamiah, they were already talking and asking for allowance.
Do you wanna go home? No, that's where my kids are.
Okay, well, then let's try to enjoy the restaurant.
The next course is all foam.
Okay, yeah.
You're right.
You're right.
Pretty soon, I won't be able to leave the house again.
So stupid sex.
[speaking Spanish.]
Hey, be nice to yourself, okay? - I do love my kids.
- Yeah.
I just have enough of them.
I'm assuming we shouldn't mention anything to Tom? Oh, God.
No.
No, no, no.
- Let's not let him worry about this.
- Yeah.
Let's just let's just let him enjoy his little crab legs.
- Yeah.
Oh, okay.
- I'm good.
- Okay.
- I'm just [retching.]
Okay.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mommy, JoJo's so nice and funny and cool.
- Wow.
- She taught me how to do this.
Aha.
Cool.
Wait, where's Kelvin and Shamiah? Are you here by yourself with Daddy? Sweetie, let's go get Benjamin Bearworth, Attorney-at-Claw.
And then, I need to talk to you about something.
Am I in trouble? I didn't fly the drone indoors if that's what you're thinking.
No, come on.
Yeah.
I didn't even know that he was seeing anyone.
Yeah, we were kinda keeping it quiet since it's all really new.
I'm sorry for just, you know, barging in.
- Oh.
- It was just, I've been in meetings all day with the partners, you know, negotiating a buyout, and [laughs.]
Somebody needs an assistant for their assistant.
- Sounds like it.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Ah, so what do you do? Um I am an entrepreneur.
- Ah.
- In the digital marketing space.
Wow.
So like a founder or an angel investor? Sort of.
I'm an influencer.
[laughs.]
That's hilarious.
Oh.
Oh, you are an influencer? Okay.
That's so fun.
I love that.
Wait, so how did you and Connor meet again? Uh, Denise.
- Oh.
Of course.
- My sister.
Yeah.
No, I was just wondering, you know, how you two met because, like, Connor usually meets women at conventions or, um, you know, UHNW events and - UHNW? - Oh, sorry.
Um.
Ultra-high net worth.
Right.
Yeah.
We did not meet at one of those.
Yeah, I mean, they're boring.
Yeah.
You know, the pizza's getting a little cold.
I should warm it up.
It's ultra-high pepperoni.
Yeah.
- UHPP.
- UHPP.
[soft music.]
Are you going to say something? Yeah.
You know, JoJo, right? She's downstairs.
She is.
And do you remember when you were saying - that she's so nice and funny? - Yeah.
Me and all the cousins are obsessed with her.
She's really cool.
I agree.
So I decided well, I asked um if she'd be my girlfriend, and she said yes.
So that's kinda cool, right? Yeah.
I was wondering when you were gonna tell me.
- You knew? - For a while now.
During brunch, you guys are always in the pantry together having snacks.
No.
We're not no, we weren't wait, did you did you say having snacks? Yeah.
That's what I thought you said.
Yes, we are having snacks.
We are having a lot of snacks.
What kind of snacks are they? Okay, this is what is this? 21 questions? Are they sweet or salty? They're I don't they're just they're snacks.
Let's leave it at that.
So I'm doing my sexy dance and Denise just walks away? Maybe you're right.
Maybe she is sick of me, just like Marina's sick of you.
- What now? - Nothing.
For your information, things are going great with me and Marina lately, and our sex life - I don't need details.
- All right.
Well, we'll just say ya' boy's still got it going on.
Hey, honey.
My Valentine.
Missed you.
- While I was in the bathroom? - Yeah.
You have to try one of these scallops.
Delicious.
You know, can we clear this and bring on the next course? That would be great.
Whoa.
What's the rush? Let's get Connor's money's worth, right? Oh, look at that couple over there.
Get a room, right? Uh, they look pretty normal to me.
Oh, you missed it.
They were, like, all over each other.
And you were so right, Valentine's Day is the worst.
- Tom? Sidebar at the bar? - Okay.
God.
Now I'm bringing her down.
- Just keep it positive.
- Okay.
I'm freaking out.
All I can think about are the three babies growing inside of me.
Now there's triplets? Okay.
There's a drugstore on the corner.
I will get you a pregnancy test.
- You would do that for me? - Yes, of course.
Just save whatever weird food - they bring out next.
- Okay.
I ruined the whole night.
She's mad at me.
She's not mad at you.
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna get some fresh air.
- Oh, I'll come with.
- No, that's okay.
Yeah, she might be a little mad.
Am I really negative? - I love that wine.
- I know.
- It's amazing, right? - Yeah.
I just I wish I had more.
- This is Silo.
- I'm good, you know.
Thanks.
You don't want any more wine? [chuckles.]
That doesn't sound like you.
I don't know.
I just don't feel like it.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You're pregnant! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What if it's quadruplets? What if it's quadruplets? Well, there goes my writing career.
I guess I'll just have to get a job in construction.
You know, start work at 5:00 a.
m.
, get off at 3:00.
Eat, like, a Hot Pocket over a garbage can and then start my shift at night construction.
And those other construction guys I mean, I just know it, they're gonna be mean to me.
Whoa! Do you guys have like, a kitchen in this place? This is Silo.
Yes! I know the name of the restaurant.
Thank you! Oh, my God.
How long does it take to buy a pregnancy test, huh? This is bad.
It's so bad.
Don't you think this is bad? Oh, well, thank you for asking me about my opinions in the matter.
Oh, no, come on.
You're like you're a big part of this.
'Cause if 'cause you're, you know, the baby is gonna the baby comes outta you.
Um What were you thinking? Well, I was thinking that maybe you could, um I don't know have some reassuring words so you could be my rock.
- Oh, yeah.
Like, your rock.
- Mm-hmm.
The kind of thing they move with a bulldozer.
I could do that job.
Does you need, like, a special license for that? - No.
It's - I'm gonna go for a walk - while I can still see my feet.
- Okay.
I love you.
Uh.
That was too late.
I should have said it at the beginning.
Well, at least I know why Denise left now.
It was because of Marina, not 'cause of me.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
Drink up.
Go ahead.
There we go.
[dramatic music.]
What's wrong? Are they eating all our pizza? I don't care about the pizza.
I have been listening to your super successful ex-wife make super clear how not successful I am.
What are you talking about? I'm gonna go.
We can celebrate another day.
Whoa! Hey, you can't leave 'cause of something Emily said.
Gretchen loves you.
She already assumed we were together.
Look, this is this is all fixable.
- Hey, Em? - Hmm? Could I talk to you in the gym, I guess? - Mm-hmm.
- Sometimes I wish I had more walls.
Okay.
Well, this is a surprise.
But yes, JoJo is my girlfriend.
- Okay.
- Can you just try to be warm to her? I was being warm.
What? It's just that my version of warm is, you know, most people's tepid.
- It's my Dutch heritage.
- You spent five minutes talking to her, and apparently, you spent most of it bragging about your success.
Did you tell her your net worth too? I don't even know my net worth.
I mean, the market's been so volatile lately You were trying to intimidate her.
No, I was not, okay? I was making conversation.
Look, okay, I get it.
JoJo is really likable.
It's Valentine's Day.
You don't wanna be by yourself.
I mean, no one wants to be alone on Valentine's Day.
What are you trying to say? That she's just some rando? - No.
- Like we're only hanging out on Valentine's Day 'cause we don't wanna - Hey, what's up? - Shh-shh-shh.
Just listening to a straight man miss subtext.
- Yeah.
- It's Valentine's Day.
What's subtext? Hey, Marina, honey, I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
I freaked out too.
I mean, just the thought of having babies when you already have babies is is a lot.
Yes.
It's more than a lot.
We have plenty to think about.
All night I've been telling Sarah to be more positive and I gotta start taking my own advice.
Look, maybe it's just the tarragon mojitos talking, but I think we're forgetting the good times, you know? Those babies would fall asleep on our bellies.
We'd just stare at their tiny faces until they woke up.
Those 2:00 a.
m.
feedings yeah, I know they were hell, but they brought us closer, to the kids, to each other.
[soft music.]
I know the last year has been rough on us financially, emotionally, physically.
I'm two pounds over my ideal weight.
I mean, I wouldn't change one thing.
Whatever happens, we're gonna figure it out, okay? Thank you.
Marina, here's the test.
Okay.
Well, I'll be right back.
I love you.
I'm really missing it on those.
And then she was like, "I get it, no one wants to be alone on Valentine's Day.
" Like that's the only reason I'm with you.
She didn't mean it that way.
Were you eavesdropping? Of course I was.
Are you new here? Look, before you get all aggro and kick her out, think, why hasn't she left yet? Never mind, I'll spell it out.
She's lonely.
She's the one who doesn't wanna be by herself on Valentine's Day.
I think I might know your ex-wife better than you do.
Yeah, it's the same thing our therapist said.
Come on.
That pizza was really greasy.
[laughs.]
You better go wash your hands, yeah? Hey, Emily.
- Yes.
- I got a question for you.
Okay.
How do you not have a date on Valentine's Day? Oh.
Um I mean, that's a little insulting.
Yeah, where are you going with this, JoJo? No.
No, no, no.
I meant, how do you not have a date on Valentine's Day? I mean, look at you.
Oh.
[laughs.]
You know, I've been asking myself the same question.
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
Let me see your dating apps.
Oh, no, I don't have those.
Well, we got to the bottom of it.
- Oh.
- Just trust me.
I got you.
Okay.
So I have set up your profile.
- Okay.
- What are your hobbies? I guess quantitative analysis and tennis.
I'm gonna go with tennis.
- Okay.
- Now we need a photo.
Okay.
Ooh.
How about this one? Oh, this is you in front of a chart about steel tariffs? - Yeah.
- I remember that chart.
- That was a sick chart.
- Thank you.
- Was it? - Look at the chart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
No.
This looks like a stock photo that comes up when you search "business lady.
" - Oh.
- We can beat this.
Oh, my God.
Is that Jeff Bezos at the door? What? Where? I thought he was in the Seychelles.
No.
No.
No.
He's at Davos.
I just needed a candid shot.
Wait, but I'm not even looking at the camera.
When you're looking off camera, you get more swipes.
What is she looking at? I need to know more.
Oh, my gosh.
I have to know all your secrets.
- I got a lot of them.
- Okay.
Okay.
So just zoom in so they get just - To crop it.
- Um I'm gonna go get ice cream with Gretchen.
Yeah.
That's I'm gonna go get ice cream with Gretchen.
[quirky music.]
- Yeah, we heard you.
- Okay.
Yeah.
So, um, this whole time when you were helping Marina, I thought that you were freezing me out.
Why would I freeze you out? Because I can be a real buzzkill and all negative about, you know, the things you like.
Like astrology and Reiki and oh, I was doing it again.
I just did it again.
Did you hear it? - Lulu, I like all those things.
- Mm-Hmm.
But I mostly like you.
[soft music.]
Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I like Valentine's Day.
[both chuckle.]
Aww.
Sorry.
How you doing, Tommy? It's funny.
I can't believe how calm I am.
I guess whatever happens, happens.
Maybe we have another baby, and it's the cutest baby in the world, you know? All those little baby toes and new baby smell.
Maybe a new baby is exactly what we need.
I'm not pregnant.
Oh, dear God! Thank you! [laughing.]
- I love you.
- Congratulations, I guess.
I guess I just got an upset stomach, you know.
I gotta stop eating whatever the twins throw on the floor.
[laughs.]
Come on.
[upbeat music.]
Well, that was an emotional rollercoaster.
Another baby, whoo-hoo! - So weird.
- Yeah.
Can you imagine? - I mean - What? All this talk about having a baby - and how hard it would be - Oh, good thing we didn't have to go through that, right? I know.
- Lulu? - Yeah? I think I wanna get pregnant.
Thank God! That would've been a nightmare! [laughs.]
Next Valentine's Day, we can do whatever you want.
I'm way ahead of you.
Already rented an island.
Oh! This is crazy! I've already gotten so many matches.
- Oh, scooch over.
- Oh! - Thank you.
- Of course! I'm an in-demand commodity.
- Let me see.
- Look at this guy.
Oh, no way.
He's writing in all caps.
I'm not letting this guy around my kid.
- Okay.
Give me my phone back.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- What? - Holy steroids, look at this guy's face.
- What's wrong with it? - Heads don't get that big naturally.
Are all these guys Australian DJs? Give me my phone!