Party of Five s02e13 Episode Script
Poor Substitutes
Hey, no, nothing strange about it at all.
I always travel to visit casual acquaintances.
-You can't be jealous.
-No.
I'm not.
You told me nothing happened between you and Allison last summer.
The fact that she's coming from England-- Julia, she's coming to check out Berkeley.
That's it.
Yeah, I know, and maybe she'll get accepted.
Maybe she'll live across the bay.
Wouldn't that just be ducky? Right, right.
We're putting her up as a favor to her dad.
That's the whole story.
Anyways, Allie is not somebody-- So now it's "Allie"? Allie.
That's cute.
You call her Allie? Thurber food.
I need a new name for myself.
You know, a hip name.
Does "Sarah Reeves" sound like the lead singer in a hot band? You need something along the lines of "Courtney Love.
" Exactly.
Yeah.
Like Like Felicia Luscious.
Ha! Yeah.
No.
No.
No.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for bothering you.
Are you Shirley Kaplan's daughter? Who? Wow, I guess not.
You just look like this woman who's in the PTA with me.
And your voice too.
Well, I'm sorry.
My mistake.
Wait a minute.
What did you say her name was? Oh, no, nothing.
Never mind.
[CLAUDIA HUMS EERILY.]
Shut up, Claud.
[THE BODEANS' "CLOSER TO FREE" PLAYING.]
Everybody wants to live Like they wanna live And everybody wants to love Like they wanna love Everybody wants to be Closer to free-ee-ee Closer to free [CHILDREN CHATTERING.]
You just crept in under the deadline for our next session, Mr.
Salinger.
Yes! Thank God.
That's great.
That's, uh That's great, 'cause I missed the deadline at most of these other schools.
My fiancee was taking care of the applications and Anyway, I've got a nanny who wants his mornings, so unless I get Owen into a preschool-- Into your terrific preschool And what was it that attracted you to our program? Uma lot of things.
There was, uh There was no one thing.
That's the big thing.
A lot of places, there's just one thing, and here, it was, um It was a mixture of-- Of everything.
When can he start? Well, we require the child to come in and meet with us first.
Okay, sure.
We can schedule that for the day after tomorrow.
And one more thing.
We do require all our children to be completely potty-trained before they begin.
Uh, no problem.
That's That's not a problem.
That's not a problem at all.
He practically poops on demand.
[LAUGHS.]
Uh, can we make that appointment late in the day? I'm serious about the bibliographies, guys.
See you Friday.
[SIGHS.]
I didn't understand a single word after "Please turn to page 357.
" I warned you.
This is dry stuff.
You should have picked somebody more interesting to follow.
No.
The assignment was "someone with a profession you respect," and that's you, so Can I ask you a few basics? Shoot.
Did you always wanna teach? Yes.
"Yes.
" Okay.
Do you think it's okay to date your students? What? No, of course not.
'Cause the blond guy with the chin fuzz who was sitting in first row, he is definitely in love with you.
He didn't take a note the whole time.
Okay, that's it.
No more questions.
I'm buying you an ice cream.
MAN: Hey.
Michael, hi.
I just wanted to see.
We're still on for dinner, right? Right.
Yes.
Um, Michael, this is Claudia.
Hi, there.
Listen, sorry.
I'm late for this 5:00.
I'll call you later, okay? Great.
Thanks.
Okay.
Your interview at Berkeley's on Friday, right? Right.
All right.
Well, that still leaves us, like, three days to do stuff.
Super.
[IMITATES.]
Super.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Don't you love the way she says that? "Super.
" Mm.
Um Okay.
A, we could jump in the car, head north, go to Muir Woods, Napa Stuff like that.
B, we could just hang out here.
B.
Definitely B.
Stay here.
Okay, uh Okay, so you just wanna stay here? I hate it when you do that.
What? [LAUGHS.]
Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, my God, yeah.
He does it all the time.
What? "It's completely up to you.
Whatever you want.
I'm easy.
" "Oh.
Oh, you want to do that.
" JULIA: It drives me nuts.
Nuts.
[JULIA AND ALLIE GIGGLE.]
Oh, my God.
You do not eat that! Yeah, we do.
But, I mean, you can't enjoy eating kidneys? -And blood sausage.
-Oh, G-- It's delicious.
I swear to God.
I'll send you the recipes when I send you that list of CDs.
You know, you haven't compared feminine protection in your two countries yet.
That is so insulting.
Yeah, well I wouldn't mind another one, you know, if you don't mind.
That's what I'm here for.
You too? -Super.
Super.
[GIRLS LAUGH.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
You know, any time you wanna move on to the next stanza, I'd be totally supportive.
God.
She really does look like your mom, doesn't she? Who? Oh, you mean Julia? Look at that.
I mean, same face, same smile.
Yeah.
People were always saying.
Did you look like your dad? [SIGHS.]
No, not really.
Charlie.
He got his eyes and his chin.
But you probably got something.
You must have gotten something from him.
I can throw a mean breaking ball.
So could he.
And Joe once pointed out this thing.
I'm kind of, uh-- I don't know.
--a toucher.
He used to do that: touch people whenever he talked to them.
Do I do that? Wow.
Maybe I can sing because of her.
I mean, do you think Claudia's good at music, you know, because your mom was? I guess so, yeah.
Maybe I have something of hers, and I just don't know it yet.
Sarah.
Do you wanna look for her? Bailey, maybe she's waiting for me to find her.
I mean, maybe she's been waiting all this time, you know? And she'll see me, and she'll take my hand.
And it'll look just like hers.
Yes.
-You're mad.
-No, I am not mad.
Yes, you are.
God, I can't even believe you're mad at me.
Not at you, Sarah.
Not at you, honey.
I was going to be the picture of composure when this happened.
I just wanna meet her, that's all.
So that I don't pass her on the street or stand next to her in a movie line and not know.
'Cause maybe we look alike, you know? Or sound alike or laugh at the same things.
And maybe when I see her, I'll know what I'm gonna grow up to be like.
Do you understand? Did you really think that I would never wanna know? I'd hoped.
I'd hoped it wouldn't matter to you.
It's not gonna change anything between us.
It won't.
[CAR HORN BLARES IN THE DISTANCE.]
Here is her name.
She lives in the city.
Um At least, she did Now I don't know.
I love you, Mom.
What if you love her too? Can't you just hope that I will? Please.
Owen, listen to me.
Listen to me.
OWEN: What? It's 4:00, and I've already changed your diaper five times.
We've got to start making some progress, all right? This is what I'm prepared to do.
[GROANS.]
Every time you poop, you get your choice of these valuable prizes.
Okay? Okay.
I thought you said there wasn't anyone.
What? Well, you said that-- I said there wasn't anyone special, Claudia.
Oh.
Sure.
I-I get it.
Right, he's just a friend.
You-- You kiss everyone like that.
Do you want me to sit at home and just be unhappy? Well, it's just kind of fast.
I mean, I thought it would take a little longer to you know move on.
Are you seeing him again tonight? Claudia Are you, like you know sleeping with him? Claudia, cut it out.
You are 12 years old, and this is just-- Okay, look, the conversation's over.
We're not talking about this anymore.
Owen, look.
See? I'm sitting here on my very own potty, and I'm making poopie, and I'm making pee-pee, see? And I'm-- And I'm very happy, see? See? I'm smiling.
Look.
And I'm very happy.
And my whole family's gonna be so proud, and-- Where you going? Get back here! Owen! Owen! I'm talking to you! What? All right, a dollar is six-tenths of a pound, right? So to figure out how much this will cost me, I have to divide by? Hey, don't look at me.
I still don't know what eight times seven is.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Hey, what do you guys think? [BOTH LAUGH.]
JUSTIN: Okay.
I can't take you two anywhere.
He has awful taste.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, not in everything.
Not in girls.
You know, I didn't think I was gonna like you.
You didn't? Uh-uh.
The stories Justin told me about you guys hanging out last summer.
I don't know.
You just sounded so So What? Just say it.
Stuck-up? Uptight? Nerdy? Like me.
You just sounded so much like me.
[LAUGHS.]
Do you know what? I think this would look really lovely on you.
Hmm.
Is it expensive? I, uh I have absolutely no idea.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Claudia! Claudia! Man, that was fast.
What is it? What's going on? Kirsten.
-Is he okay? -Is who okay? Owen! Owen! Owen is fine.
Why would you think--? Claudia said he'd been in an accident! What? CHARLIE: Claudia! I did not.
I said he'd had an accident, and he did, sort of.
Well, a poop kind of accident.
What? What? God, Claudia, I thought he got hit by a car, or swallowed a safety pin or something! I dropped everything.
I stood up a dinner date, all because Owen isn't pooping in his potty? You had a dinner date? Some professor guy.
That is not the point.
The point is-- The point is you're here.
So maybe you could give Charlie advice on getting Owen toilet-trained.
Hey, Claud, Kirsten really doesn't need to-- I'm sorry about all this.
I swear I had no idea that she called.
I'm sure you didn't.
Look, I know what you're doing, Claudia.
I'm not doing anything.
Yeah, you are.
You're playing games here.
Now, if you wanted to talk about this-- Oh, sure.
Now you wanna talk.
You didn't yesterday.
You were asking things you had no right to know.
I'm telling you, the way to deal with me having a personal life is not by trying to ruin it.
You got that? Ruth Nope.
No Robin.
That does it for Walnut Creek.
Do you have the Palo Alto book over there? Sarah? I found her.
"Robin Merrin, Berkeley.
Wow, so that's her.
Are you gonna call? Maybe she just got home from work and she's tired and in a bad mood.
Or maybe she's just put her kids to bed, and she's watching some bad rerun on TV, wishing the phone would ring.
You think she has kids? No.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I don't know why I said that.
Maybe she does.
I mean, she could.
Maybe she has this incredible life that's exactly the way she wants it, and the last thing she needs is me showing up on her doorstep.
Or maybe she's waited 16 years for you to find her, Sarah.
Yeah.
That's what she says in my head.
She smiles, and she holds out her arms, and she says, "At last.
At last.
" But what if I say, "I'm your daughter," and then there's this pause, you know, a long, awful pause.
And then her voice gets all cold and tight, and she says, "Oh, yeah? So what?" What do I do if that happens, Bailey? You're her daughter, Sarah.
She didn't want me then.
Why would she want me now? Well Okay, so I know her name, and I know where she lives, and I can find her any time I want if I want.
But not now.
Now it's just enough to know.
So I'm gonna stop right there.
God, is he ever pissed off at us.
Hey, he could have stayed.
No one kicked him out.
Besides, if he wants to be a party-pooper and go home early-- It's his loss.
Exactly.
Who needs men, anyways? Right.
[JILL COHN'S "THE TRUTH" PLAYING.]
God, I should never have bought this.
It-- It-- It looks awful.
No.
Wait.
You've just gotta-- Hang on.
You've gotta tie it and scrunch it up a little.
There.
You look beautiful.
Thanks.
I think you're very beautiful too.
What? I said, I think you're very beautiful.
[LAUGHS.]
Thanks.
Julia Do you? Do you ever think about girls? Are we ever Truly free of it? What? About being with a girl? I mean, does that make you sick or something? My soul wants to unite Because I think about you.
My heart is so tired Of being broken Allie, I don't-- Oh, God.
Forget it.
Why would you think--? Just forget I said anything, okay, please? I don't even know why I thought-- I didn't mean it.
I'm gonna go.
Um Please, please, don't tell anyone.
Our minds will divide The purest of words I'm sorry.
I only know That your essence Combined with mine Makes the world grow quiet [DOOR SHUTS.]
[CHILDREN LAUGHING AND PLAYING.]
He did very nicely with our blocks and our sand toys and our circle time.
I think he's made a whole bunch of new friends.
He's a pretty easygoing kid.
Good.
Good.
Well, we're about to have snack time.
Owen, would you like to have some cookies and a big, big cup of juice? No! I mean, uh He had plenty to drink before he came.
He doesn't need any more to drink.
He'd just float away.
[CHARLIE LAUGHS.]
Okay.
Um, look, we've gotta go.
We-- We should go.
Oh, okay.
Do you have any questions? Um No.
No, no.
No questions.
Um I have a check, a deposit check, and that will reserve Owen's spot in the class? Mm-hm.
Do you-- Do you mind grabbing it? [SNIFFING.]
What? [LAUGHS.]
[DOG BARKING, BIRDS TWITTERING.]
[DIAL TONE.]
Oh.
Hi, um I don't know if this is the right number.
I'm I'm trying to reach Robin Merrin.
[CAR HORNS HONK.]
JULIA: What are you doing? I'm gonna let you two sit together.
Oh, well, it's okay.
Come on.
I know you two.
You're gonna be gabbing through the whole thing.
No.
Justin, just sit in the middle.
No way am I gonna let you ruin the movie by talking over me.
Come on.
What's the big deal? [SIGHS.]
Anybody want popcorn? -I'll get it.
-No.
It's okay.
I'll go.
You always get the butter-salt ratio wrong, anyway.
Look, Julia, I-- Forget it.
I don't-- I don't wanna talk about it.
Can't-- Can't we just--? No! Okay? No.
It's cold in here.
Mm-hm.
You know what you've done? Do you? Do you know how hard this has made things for me? I've gotta give up my mornings to stay home with you.
Gotta hire someone else at the restaurant to open up.
What's this? Is this a house? Yeah.
A house.
Really? Doesn't look much like a house, pal.
You know why it doesn't? Owen, do you know why? What do houses have? What's that? Windows.
Houses have windows, don't they? Yeah.
Can you draw me a window here? Owen? -[SCRIBBLING.]
-I want you to-- Hey! I need you to draw me a window.
Owen? Damn it! Do you know how hard it is to get that stuff off? You don't crayon on furniture! How many times have I told you? Why can't you for once in your life do what you're told? He's just a baby, Charlie.
[OWEN WHIMPERS.]
MAN: Andaction! [LAUGHS.]
My Billy can't keep a secret.
Ketchup from the French fries I told him he couldn't have.
Slide into third base when he promised he'd be coming straight home from school.
And here, a chocolate snuck he snacked-- I'm sorry.
-MAN: That's a cut! -Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Snack he snuck.
Snack he snuck.
I don't even know why I keep saying that.
MAN: Yeah, look.
Let's take a break, shall we? Back in 10, people.
Okay, thanks.
[BUZZER SOUNDS.]
[WHISPERS.]
Snack he snuck.
Snack he snuck.
Damn it.
Excuse me.
That's Robin there? Thanks.
MAN 2: We're back.
[TV CREW MURMURING INDISTINCTLY.]
Uh, hello? Hi.
I'm sorry, I-- Oh, my God, you're not Billy, are you? What? No.
Oh! Thank God.
I told my agent eight years old tops.
You never know what they're gonna spring on you at the last minute.
[INQUIRINGLY.]
Yes? Um I know this is gonna sound really weird.
I tried to reach you at home, and I spoke to-- You called my home? Why is that? I'm sorry.
Do I know you? Do we know each other? My name is Bailey Salinger, and I'm I'm a friend of your daughter's.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
You have the wrong person.
I don't have a daughter.
But you did.
[SIGHS.]
MAN: Sweetheart, can we see you on your mark, please? [BUZZER.]
[KEYS CLICK.]
Charlie really yelled at Owen today.
I mean, I know I kind of exaggerated about what was going on before, but now it's really bad.
Tell you what, Claud, I'll correct your spelling for you, okay? That's it.
No rewriting.
"Psychology" is C-H-O.
Can you hear me? I said he was screaming at him.
What do you want me to say? The two of them are going through a rough time right now.
I'm sorry, but that happens.
Look, I'm not playing games.
And I'm not trying to make trouble for you and that guy.
It's just Like, you could help if you were there.
But I'm not there, Claudia.
I can't be there.
Oh, gee.
My mistake.
I thought you cared.
Hey, I do care! I care a lot.
The truth is, I care too much.
So what I am trying to do-- What I am trying to do every day is to care a little less, but you're not helping, Claudia.
You're not making it any easier.
You drop these things like Like crumbs, like breadcrumbs.
And I know if I follow them, they're gonna lead me straight back to your house and to your family and brother.
So I am asking you, I am begging you, Claudia, please, don't tell me, because I really, really don't wanna know.
[KEYBOARD KEYS CLICK.]
I guess you've probably thought a lot about this, you know, over the years, that she might come looking for you one of these days.
Um No, not really.
[SNIFFS.]
Almost not at all.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I guess she wants to know why I left her, right? She wants an explanation.
She wants to blame me.
I don't think so.
She's not a very angry person.
Really, she just She just wants to know who she is, you know? And-- And And that you love her.
That I love her? I-- I don't-- Look.
Why would I love her? I don't even know her.
Okay, okay, not yet, but when you meet her-- Look.
No, no.
This is This is not I don't know what you thought I was gonna do here.
I gave her up, I gave her away, and it wasn't some kind of noble thing, okay? My career was just taking off.
I was on tour, and having a kid didn't fit in.
It was lousy timing.
You can say whatever else you want about me, but at least I know my limitations.
And I don't look back, and I don't regret it.
So I'm sorry if this little girl-- Here.
Look at this.
I have this picture.
No, I don't want to look at pictures.
It was taken five days ago.
Would you please--? Stop it! I don't wanna see your damn pictures.
[QUIETLY.]
I don't want a 16-year-old daughter.
And you have no right to come in here with your stupid pictures and make me feel like Like Listen.
I did the best thing I could for her.
I gave her better parents than me.
[ZIPS BAG CLOSED.]
Well, what am I supposed to tell her? You tell her that you stuck your nose in where it doesn't belong.
Just tell her to forget it.
Tell her I'm dead, if that makes it any easier.
Yeah.
That'll make it much easier.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
GIRL: Whoo! Whoo! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey, it's weird, huh, her wanting to come here.
What? I mean, she always said she hated this kind of scene, and then out of the blue she wants to go clubbing.
What? I can't hear you.
I can't even hear me! All right.
Come on.
Even though I fell down I got right back up And I felt as though ALLIE: Oh, hey, you guys! Guess what? Phil here had his nose pierced in Liverpool.
No kidding.
Imagine that.
I mean, I let it close up.
My mom has really high blood pressure.
[LAUGHS.]
Isn't he cute? You're cute.
You're cute.
Well, then, I guess it's unanimous.
Wanna take me home? Let's get out of here.
Lead the way.
-You're not going with him? -Allison! Allison, come on.
This is not a good idea.
How much have you had to drink? Allison! [DOOR HINGES SQUEAL.]
What the hell is wrong with you all of a sudden? Come on, Allie.
You don't even know this guy.
I'm gonna get to know him, right, Phil? Actually it's Gil.
Gil.
You know, like fish.
Don't do this.
Don't.
Please, don't do this.
Why don't we all go get some coffee, all right? Buzz off, pal.
What are you trying to prove? Are you doing this to spite me, is that it? Shut up, Julia, okay? Why don't you just lay the hell off.
Phil, Gilwhatever, she's not interested in you.
Oh, really? Well, you could have fooled me.
Right, honey? She doesn't wanna go with you.
What makes you so damn sure? Look, she's not interested in boys, okay? [MOANS.]
Allie! [CAR ALARM SQUEALING.]
[ALLIE COUGHING.]
Allie? Get away from me.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, it's done.
You said it, okay? You said it and-- And-- And now it's out there, and I can't take it back, and people know.
So what? So what if people know? Oh, right! Like you don't get it.
Like it doesn't make you sick! But it's okay, because I have the same problem, see? What? Why? Why do I have to feel this way? Why can't I force myself to talk about boys and wanna be with boys? Why would you do that? Because it's hard, okay? And I don't wanna be different, and I don't want anyone to look at me the way you looked at me, and my mother and my father-- I can't.
I just can't.
Not ever.
[CRYING.]
I'm sorry.
Why? It was my mistake, and you can't feel anything you don't feel, right? I mean, I'm living proof of that.
I just I feel so completely alone.
And I want someone-- You or someone.
--to say it's okay, to say I'm okay.
Just to say, "I love you too.
" [WEEPING.]
God.
CHARLIE: Morning, Claud.
What are you doing? Sitting.
How come? I was just thinking Wondering, actually, why none of my stuff is up there.
They're all yours.
Yours and Bay's and Julia's.
Your handprints, your collages, all these dopey paintings.
There's nothing of mine.
Why do you think that is? Beats me.
Maybe Mom and Dad didn't get the idea to frame stuff until you were already big.
I drew a picture of a skyscraper once.
I brought it in to show it to Dad.
He looked at it, and he kind of sat me on his lap.
I remember thinking that he was gonna hug me, but instead he just started going on about proportions: how it needed to be wider at the base, how a building that tall and narrow would just fall right over.
God, I hated that His Um His insane expectations.
And now, all of a sudden it turns out [LAUGHS WRYLY.]
I've got 'em too.
I'm making the same mistakes, his mistakes.
[LAUGHS.]
Go figure, huh? That's so weird.
I mean, he was never like that with me.
Hmm.
Maybe that's the way it happens with firstborns.
I guess by the time the other kids come along, the parents have learned not to push so hard.
Owen He's Dad's last, but he's kind of my first, you know? So I was thinking I was thinking I should clear a space for this so that he knows it didn't need windows.
[CHURCH BELLS RINGING IN THE DISTANCE.]
[SURPRISED.]
Claud! Don't be mad.
Are you mad? Well, no, but-- I wanted to tell you something.
Only it's not about you-know-who or anything that's happening at home.
Actually, that's pretty okay.
I mean, the Owen situation.
It's pretty okay.
But I know you don't wanna know, and that's not why I'm here.
Ta-da! I got an A.
Hey, Claud, that's great.
I know.
Isn't it? So maybe we can, like, go out and celebrate.
Ice cream's on me this time.
Claudia, I can't.
I'm-- I'm meeting Michael.
Okay.
I mean, I understand.
Hey, Kirsten, Daddy said maybe you'd go with us to the Exploratorium.
I'm so sorry, Kirs.
Marjorie called.
She got stuck in court, so I had to pick up Frannie.
Hey.
Hey.
One of these days, she and I are gonna work all this out.
Who are you? Who's she? Claudia Claudia Claudia, come back here.
[HORNS HONK.]
[LAUGHS BREATHILY.]
So much for saving time on surface streets, huh? [SIGHS.]
You're not mad at me for taking you, are you? The airport's kind of on my way.
It's fine.
I was thinking about you going to Berkeley, and I know it's none of my business, but I don't think you should.
Really? Well, gee, thanks.
No.
I don't mean that the way it sounds.
It's just I've been trying to figure out why you would travel 5000 miles to go to school, you know? Or why you would be interested in me.
Forget it, Julia, okay, please? What I figured out is it's actually because I'm far away and Berkeley's far away from anyone you know.
We're kind of safe that way.
Listen, I know it's easy for me to say, but I don't think you should run away, Allie.
It looks like it's just that traffic signal up ahead.
I bet it'll be pretty clear sailing after that.
Yeah.
[DOORBELL CHIMES.]
You didn't Why didn't you return my calls? I guess I didn't wanna talk to you.
Claudia, this is hard for me too.
Are you trying to replace all of us? Is that what you're doing with that little girl? Are you trying to replace me? No.
I don't believe you.
I can't replace you or Charlie or Owen.
It's not possible.
But I gotta try to move on.
I'm gonna try to find somebody who loves me.
Even if it's not this man, then somebody else.
And if he has children, Claudia, then so much the better.
Listen, you are gonna have new people in your life too.
And I'm gonna have to live with that.
Like Okay, like when Charlie marries someone else.
Aren't you gonna love her? No.
Claudia, I-- I don't know what to do about us.
If I don't get away from this house and your brother and all these things that aren't mine anymore-- I get it.
You can stop now.
[SIGHS.]
Claudia I am always gonna be here for you, and if you ever really need me, you just pick up the phone and you call me, and I promise you I will be there for you.
Okay? Okay, Claudia? Are we kind of breaking up? Is that what we're doing? Bailey? Damn it, they screwed up the stupid order again.
Look at this.
This is not kung pao chicken.
[SNIFFS.]
This is This is pretty good, actually.
Never mind.
You know how sometimes phone numbers can have letters in them? You mean like So I watch some late-night TV.
Do we need plates for this? We don't need plates, do we? No.
So I took a look at her phone number.
My mother's.
You know, just for fun.
And guess what the last four digits spelled.
Sara.
Well, you spell your name with an H.
But it's almost the same thing.
It's enough of the same thing to mean something, don't you think? I don't know.
I think maybe you want it to mean something that it doesn't.
I went through one of those revolving doors yesterday, you know, the ones in Macy's, and there was this woman in front of me who was reflected in the glass, and she had my eyes and my nose and my dark hair, and my heart stopped for a second, because I thought Only it was me.
My reflection.
I had to sit in hosiery for, like, 10 minutes just to catch my breath.
It's funny.
I'm looking for her even when I'm not.
So I think maybe I should call her.
You know, I should stop being afraid and just do it.
She's not your mother, Sarah.
The woman in the phone book.
She's not.
Why would you say that? Because Look, please don't be mad, but I called her, and I went to see her for you.
You did? You saw her? I just thought that if it was her, then Only, see, Robin Merrin: That's not her real name.
She had this really horrible name, so she changed it, like, So So Robin Merrin isn't even who she really is, this woman.
And she never gave a child up for adoption.
She never even had a child.
Oh.
[LAUGHS PAINFULLY.]
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Uh-huh.
Are you mad? Mad, at you? No.
No.
In fact, thank you.
God That would have been awful if I would have gotten my hopes up and everything.
[TEARFULLY.]
The food's probably getting cold, so we should-- Hey.
[BREATHING SHAKILY.]
I know I promised I'd never do this.
What the hell? As long as you don't fidget too much.
Little hurricane Little storm Are you growing? Oh, wait.
Little hurricane Little breeze Are you blowing? Accidents can happen, right? sky of blue But she gives All her radiance to you Little hurricane Your wind is true It's kind of nice, huh? Little hurricane We'll leave that light on tonight.
Little hurricane Your wind is true [GROANS TIREDLY.]
Your wind is true Your wind is true Sleep well.
I always travel to visit casual acquaintances.
-You can't be jealous.
-No.
I'm not.
You told me nothing happened between you and Allison last summer.
The fact that she's coming from England-- Julia, she's coming to check out Berkeley.
That's it.
Yeah, I know, and maybe she'll get accepted.
Maybe she'll live across the bay.
Wouldn't that just be ducky? Right, right.
We're putting her up as a favor to her dad.
That's the whole story.
Anyways, Allie is not somebody-- So now it's "Allie"? Allie.
That's cute.
You call her Allie? Thurber food.
I need a new name for myself.
You know, a hip name.
Does "Sarah Reeves" sound like the lead singer in a hot band? You need something along the lines of "Courtney Love.
" Exactly.
Yeah.
Like Like Felicia Luscious.
Ha! Yeah.
No.
No.
No.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for bothering you.
Are you Shirley Kaplan's daughter? Who? Wow, I guess not.
You just look like this woman who's in the PTA with me.
And your voice too.
Well, I'm sorry.
My mistake.
Wait a minute.
What did you say her name was? Oh, no, nothing.
Never mind.
[CLAUDIA HUMS EERILY.]
Shut up, Claud.
[THE BODEANS' "CLOSER TO FREE" PLAYING.]
Everybody wants to live Like they wanna live And everybody wants to love Like they wanna love Everybody wants to be Closer to free-ee-ee Closer to free [CHILDREN CHATTERING.]
You just crept in under the deadline for our next session, Mr.
Salinger.
Yes! Thank God.
That's great.
That's, uh That's great, 'cause I missed the deadline at most of these other schools.
My fiancee was taking care of the applications and Anyway, I've got a nanny who wants his mornings, so unless I get Owen into a preschool-- Into your terrific preschool And what was it that attracted you to our program? Uma lot of things.
There was, uh There was no one thing.
That's the big thing.
A lot of places, there's just one thing, and here, it was, um It was a mixture of-- Of everything.
When can he start? Well, we require the child to come in and meet with us first.
Okay, sure.
We can schedule that for the day after tomorrow.
And one more thing.
We do require all our children to be completely potty-trained before they begin.
Uh, no problem.
That's That's not a problem.
That's not a problem at all.
He practically poops on demand.
[LAUGHS.]
Uh, can we make that appointment late in the day? I'm serious about the bibliographies, guys.
See you Friday.
[SIGHS.]
I didn't understand a single word after "Please turn to page 357.
" I warned you.
This is dry stuff.
You should have picked somebody more interesting to follow.
No.
The assignment was "someone with a profession you respect," and that's you, so Can I ask you a few basics? Shoot.
Did you always wanna teach? Yes.
"Yes.
" Okay.
Do you think it's okay to date your students? What? No, of course not.
'Cause the blond guy with the chin fuzz who was sitting in first row, he is definitely in love with you.
He didn't take a note the whole time.
Okay, that's it.
No more questions.
I'm buying you an ice cream.
MAN: Hey.
Michael, hi.
I just wanted to see.
We're still on for dinner, right? Right.
Yes.
Um, Michael, this is Claudia.
Hi, there.
Listen, sorry.
I'm late for this 5:00.
I'll call you later, okay? Great.
Thanks.
Okay.
Your interview at Berkeley's on Friday, right? Right.
All right.
Well, that still leaves us, like, three days to do stuff.
Super.
[IMITATES.]
Super.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Don't you love the way she says that? "Super.
" Mm.
Um Okay.
A, we could jump in the car, head north, go to Muir Woods, Napa Stuff like that.
B, we could just hang out here.
B.
Definitely B.
Stay here.
Okay, uh Okay, so you just wanna stay here? I hate it when you do that.
What? [LAUGHS.]
Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, my God, yeah.
He does it all the time.
What? "It's completely up to you.
Whatever you want.
I'm easy.
" "Oh.
Oh, you want to do that.
" JULIA: It drives me nuts.
Nuts.
[JULIA AND ALLIE GIGGLE.]
Oh, my God.
You do not eat that! Yeah, we do.
But, I mean, you can't enjoy eating kidneys? -And blood sausage.
-Oh, G-- It's delicious.
I swear to God.
I'll send you the recipes when I send you that list of CDs.
You know, you haven't compared feminine protection in your two countries yet.
That is so insulting.
Yeah, well I wouldn't mind another one, you know, if you don't mind.
That's what I'm here for.
You too? -Super.
Super.
[GIRLS LAUGH.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
You know, any time you wanna move on to the next stanza, I'd be totally supportive.
God.
She really does look like your mom, doesn't she? Who? Oh, you mean Julia? Look at that.
I mean, same face, same smile.
Yeah.
People were always saying.
Did you look like your dad? [SIGHS.]
No, not really.
Charlie.
He got his eyes and his chin.
But you probably got something.
You must have gotten something from him.
I can throw a mean breaking ball.
So could he.
And Joe once pointed out this thing.
I'm kind of, uh-- I don't know.
--a toucher.
He used to do that: touch people whenever he talked to them.
Do I do that? Wow.
Maybe I can sing because of her.
I mean, do you think Claudia's good at music, you know, because your mom was? I guess so, yeah.
Maybe I have something of hers, and I just don't know it yet.
Sarah.
Do you wanna look for her? Bailey, maybe she's waiting for me to find her.
I mean, maybe she's been waiting all this time, you know? And she'll see me, and she'll take my hand.
And it'll look just like hers.
Yes.
-You're mad.
-No, I am not mad.
Yes, you are.
God, I can't even believe you're mad at me.
Not at you, Sarah.
Not at you, honey.
I was going to be the picture of composure when this happened.
I just wanna meet her, that's all.
So that I don't pass her on the street or stand next to her in a movie line and not know.
'Cause maybe we look alike, you know? Or sound alike or laugh at the same things.
And maybe when I see her, I'll know what I'm gonna grow up to be like.
Do you understand? Did you really think that I would never wanna know? I'd hoped.
I'd hoped it wouldn't matter to you.
It's not gonna change anything between us.
It won't.
[CAR HORN BLARES IN THE DISTANCE.]
Here is her name.
She lives in the city.
Um At least, she did Now I don't know.
I love you, Mom.
What if you love her too? Can't you just hope that I will? Please.
Owen, listen to me.
Listen to me.
OWEN: What? It's 4:00, and I've already changed your diaper five times.
We've got to start making some progress, all right? This is what I'm prepared to do.
[GROANS.]
Every time you poop, you get your choice of these valuable prizes.
Okay? Okay.
I thought you said there wasn't anyone.
What? Well, you said that-- I said there wasn't anyone special, Claudia.
Oh.
Sure.
I-I get it.
Right, he's just a friend.
You-- You kiss everyone like that.
Do you want me to sit at home and just be unhappy? Well, it's just kind of fast.
I mean, I thought it would take a little longer to you know move on.
Are you seeing him again tonight? Claudia Are you, like you know sleeping with him? Claudia, cut it out.
You are 12 years old, and this is just-- Okay, look, the conversation's over.
We're not talking about this anymore.
Owen, look.
See? I'm sitting here on my very own potty, and I'm making poopie, and I'm making pee-pee, see? And I'm-- And I'm very happy, see? See? I'm smiling.
Look.
And I'm very happy.
And my whole family's gonna be so proud, and-- Where you going? Get back here! Owen! Owen! I'm talking to you! What? All right, a dollar is six-tenths of a pound, right? So to figure out how much this will cost me, I have to divide by? Hey, don't look at me.
I still don't know what eight times seven is.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Hey, what do you guys think? [BOTH LAUGH.]
JUSTIN: Okay.
I can't take you two anywhere.
He has awful taste.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, not in everything.
Not in girls.
You know, I didn't think I was gonna like you.
You didn't? Uh-uh.
The stories Justin told me about you guys hanging out last summer.
I don't know.
You just sounded so So What? Just say it.
Stuck-up? Uptight? Nerdy? Like me.
You just sounded so much like me.
[LAUGHS.]
Do you know what? I think this would look really lovely on you.
Hmm.
Is it expensive? I, uh I have absolutely no idea.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Claudia! Claudia! Man, that was fast.
What is it? What's going on? Kirsten.
-Is he okay? -Is who okay? Owen! Owen! Owen is fine.
Why would you think--? Claudia said he'd been in an accident! What? CHARLIE: Claudia! I did not.
I said he'd had an accident, and he did, sort of.
Well, a poop kind of accident.
What? What? God, Claudia, I thought he got hit by a car, or swallowed a safety pin or something! I dropped everything.
I stood up a dinner date, all because Owen isn't pooping in his potty? You had a dinner date? Some professor guy.
That is not the point.
The point is-- The point is you're here.
So maybe you could give Charlie advice on getting Owen toilet-trained.
Hey, Claud, Kirsten really doesn't need to-- I'm sorry about all this.
I swear I had no idea that she called.
I'm sure you didn't.
Look, I know what you're doing, Claudia.
I'm not doing anything.
Yeah, you are.
You're playing games here.
Now, if you wanted to talk about this-- Oh, sure.
Now you wanna talk.
You didn't yesterday.
You were asking things you had no right to know.
I'm telling you, the way to deal with me having a personal life is not by trying to ruin it.
You got that? Ruth Nope.
No Robin.
That does it for Walnut Creek.
Do you have the Palo Alto book over there? Sarah? I found her.
"Robin Merrin, Berkeley.
Wow, so that's her.
Are you gonna call? Maybe she just got home from work and she's tired and in a bad mood.
Or maybe she's just put her kids to bed, and she's watching some bad rerun on TV, wishing the phone would ring.
You think she has kids? No.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I don't know why I said that.
Maybe she does.
I mean, she could.
Maybe she has this incredible life that's exactly the way she wants it, and the last thing she needs is me showing up on her doorstep.
Or maybe she's waited 16 years for you to find her, Sarah.
Yeah.
That's what she says in my head.
She smiles, and she holds out her arms, and she says, "At last.
At last.
" But what if I say, "I'm your daughter," and then there's this pause, you know, a long, awful pause.
And then her voice gets all cold and tight, and she says, "Oh, yeah? So what?" What do I do if that happens, Bailey? You're her daughter, Sarah.
She didn't want me then.
Why would she want me now? Well Okay, so I know her name, and I know where she lives, and I can find her any time I want if I want.
But not now.
Now it's just enough to know.
So I'm gonna stop right there.
God, is he ever pissed off at us.
Hey, he could have stayed.
No one kicked him out.
Besides, if he wants to be a party-pooper and go home early-- It's his loss.
Exactly.
Who needs men, anyways? Right.
[JILL COHN'S "THE TRUTH" PLAYING.]
God, I should never have bought this.
It-- It-- It looks awful.
No.
Wait.
You've just gotta-- Hang on.
You've gotta tie it and scrunch it up a little.
There.
You look beautiful.
Thanks.
I think you're very beautiful too.
What? I said, I think you're very beautiful.
[LAUGHS.]
Thanks.
Julia Do you? Do you ever think about girls? Are we ever Truly free of it? What? About being with a girl? I mean, does that make you sick or something? My soul wants to unite Because I think about you.
My heart is so tired Of being broken Allie, I don't-- Oh, God.
Forget it.
Why would you think--? Just forget I said anything, okay, please? I don't even know why I thought-- I didn't mean it.
I'm gonna go.
Um Please, please, don't tell anyone.
Our minds will divide The purest of words I'm sorry.
I only know That your essence Combined with mine Makes the world grow quiet [DOOR SHUTS.]
[CHILDREN LAUGHING AND PLAYING.]
He did very nicely with our blocks and our sand toys and our circle time.
I think he's made a whole bunch of new friends.
He's a pretty easygoing kid.
Good.
Good.
Well, we're about to have snack time.
Owen, would you like to have some cookies and a big, big cup of juice? No! I mean, uh He had plenty to drink before he came.
He doesn't need any more to drink.
He'd just float away.
[CHARLIE LAUGHS.]
Okay.
Um, look, we've gotta go.
We-- We should go.
Oh, okay.
Do you have any questions? Um No.
No, no.
No questions.
Um I have a check, a deposit check, and that will reserve Owen's spot in the class? Mm-hm.
Do you-- Do you mind grabbing it? [SNIFFING.]
What? [LAUGHS.]
[DOG BARKING, BIRDS TWITTERING.]
[DIAL TONE.]
Oh.
Hi, um I don't know if this is the right number.
I'm I'm trying to reach Robin Merrin.
[CAR HORNS HONK.]
JULIA: What are you doing? I'm gonna let you two sit together.
Oh, well, it's okay.
Come on.
I know you two.
You're gonna be gabbing through the whole thing.
No.
Justin, just sit in the middle.
No way am I gonna let you ruin the movie by talking over me.
Come on.
What's the big deal? [SIGHS.]
Anybody want popcorn? -I'll get it.
-No.
It's okay.
I'll go.
You always get the butter-salt ratio wrong, anyway.
Look, Julia, I-- Forget it.
I don't-- I don't wanna talk about it.
Can't-- Can't we just--? No! Okay? No.
It's cold in here.
Mm-hm.
You know what you've done? Do you? Do you know how hard this has made things for me? I've gotta give up my mornings to stay home with you.
Gotta hire someone else at the restaurant to open up.
What's this? Is this a house? Yeah.
A house.
Really? Doesn't look much like a house, pal.
You know why it doesn't? Owen, do you know why? What do houses have? What's that? Windows.
Houses have windows, don't they? Yeah.
Can you draw me a window here? Owen? -[SCRIBBLING.]
-I want you to-- Hey! I need you to draw me a window.
Owen? Damn it! Do you know how hard it is to get that stuff off? You don't crayon on furniture! How many times have I told you? Why can't you for once in your life do what you're told? He's just a baby, Charlie.
[OWEN WHIMPERS.]
MAN: Andaction! [LAUGHS.]
My Billy can't keep a secret.
Ketchup from the French fries I told him he couldn't have.
Slide into third base when he promised he'd be coming straight home from school.
And here, a chocolate snuck he snacked-- I'm sorry.
-MAN: That's a cut! -Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Snack he snuck.
Snack he snuck.
I don't even know why I keep saying that.
MAN: Yeah, look.
Let's take a break, shall we? Back in 10, people.
Okay, thanks.
[BUZZER SOUNDS.]
[WHISPERS.]
Snack he snuck.
Snack he snuck.
Damn it.
Excuse me.
That's Robin there? Thanks.
MAN 2: We're back.
[TV CREW MURMURING INDISTINCTLY.]
Uh, hello? Hi.
I'm sorry, I-- Oh, my God, you're not Billy, are you? What? No.
Oh! Thank God.
I told my agent eight years old tops.
You never know what they're gonna spring on you at the last minute.
[INQUIRINGLY.]
Yes? Um I know this is gonna sound really weird.
I tried to reach you at home, and I spoke to-- You called my home? Why is that? I'm sorry.
Do I know you? Do we know each other? My name is Bailey Salinger, and I'm I'm a friend of your daughter's.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
You have the wrong person.
I don't have a daughter.
But you did.
[SIGHS.]
MAN: Sweetheart, can we see you on your mark, please? [BUZZER.]
[KEYS CLICK.]
Charlie really yelled at Owen today.
I mean, I know I kind of exaggerated about what was going on before, but now it's really bad.
Tell you what, Claud, I'll correct your spelling for you, okay? That's it.
No rewriting.
"Psychology" is C-H-O.
Can you hear me? I said he was screaming at him.
What do you want me to say? The two of them are going through a rough time right now.
I'm sorry, but that happens.
Look, I'm not playing games.
And I'm not trying to make trouble for you and that guy.
It's just Like, you could help if you were there.
But I'm not there, Claudia.
I can't be there.
Oh, gee.
My mistake.
I thought you cared.
Hey, I do care! I care a lot.
The truth is, I care too much.
So what I am trying to do-- What I am trying to do every day is to care a little less, but you're not helping, Claudia.
You're not making it any easier.
You drop these things like Like crumbs, like breadcrumbs.
And I know if I follow them, they're gonna lead me straight back to your house and to your family and brother.
So I am asking you, I am begging you, Claudia, please, don't tell me, because I really, really don't wanna know.
[KEYBOARD KEYS CLICK.]
I guess you've probably thought a lot about this, you know, over the years, that she might come looking for you one of these days.
Um No, not really.
[SNIFFS.]
Almost not at all.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I guess she wants to know why I left her, right? She wants an explanation.
She wants to blame me.
I don't think so.
She's not a very angry person.
Really, she just She just wants to know who she is, you know? And-- And And that you love her.
That I love her? I-- I don't-- Look.
Why would I love her? I don't even know her.
Okay, okay, not yet, but when you meet her-- Look.
No, no.
This is This is not I don't know what you thought I was gonna do here.
I gave her up, I gave her away, and it wasn't some kind of noble thing, okay? My career was just taking off.
I was on tour, and having a kid didn't fit in.
It was lousy timing.
You can say whatever else you want about me, but at least I know my limitations.
And I don't look back, and I don't regret it.
So I'm sorry if this little girl-- Here.
Look at this.
I have this picture.
No, I don't want to look at pictures.
It was taken five days ago.
Would you please--? Stop it! I don't wanna see your damn pictures.
[QUIETLY.]
I don't want a 16-year-old daughter.
And you have no right to come in here with your stupid pictures and make me feel like Like Listen.
I did the best thing I could for her.
I gave her better parents than me.
[ZIPS BAG CLOSED.]
Well, what am I supposed to tell her? You tell her that you stuck your nose in where it doesn't belong.
Just tell her to forget it.
Tell her I'm dead, if that makes it any easier.
Yeah.
That'll make it much easier.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
GIRL: Whoo! Whoo! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey, it's weird, huh, her wanting to come here.
What? I mean, she always said she hated this kind of scene, and then out of the blue she wants to go clubbing.
What? I can't hear you.
I can't even hear me! All right.
Come on.
Even though I fell down I got right back up And I felt as though ALLIE: Oh, hey, you guys! Guess what? Phil here had his nose pierced in Liverpool.
No kidding.
Imagine that.
I mean, I let it close up.
My mom has really high blood pressure.
[LAUGHS.]
Isn't he cute? You're cute.
You're cute.
Well, then, I guess it's unanimous.
Wanna take me home? Let's get out of here.
Lead the way.
-You're not going with him? -Allison! Allison, come on.
This is not a good idea.
How much have you had to drink? Allison! [DOOR HINGES SQUEAL.]
What the hell is wrong with you all of a sudden? Come on, Allie.
You don't even know this guy.
I'm gonna get to know him, right, Phil? Actually it's Gil.
Gil.
You know, like fish.
Don't do this.
Don't.
Please, don't do this.
Why don't we all go get some coffee, all right? Buzz off, pal.
What are you trying to prove? Are you doing this to spite me, is that it? Shut up, Julia, okay? Why don't you just lay the hell off.
Phil, Gilwhatever, she's not interested in you.
Oh, really? Well, you could have fooled me.
Right, honey? She doesn't wanna go with you.
What makes you so damn sure? Look, she's not interested in boys, okay? [MOANS.]
Allie! [CAR ALARM SQUEALING.]
[ALLIE COUGHING.]
Allie? Get away from me.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, it's done.
You said it, okay? You said it and-- And-- And now it's out there, and I can't take it back, and people know.
So what? So what if people know? Oh, right! Like you don't get it.
Like it doesn't make you sick! But it's okay, because I have the same problem, see? What? Why? Why do I have to feel this way? Why can't I force myself to talk about boys and wanna be with boys? Why would you do that? Because it's hard, okay? And I don't wanna be different, and I don't want anyone to look at me the way you looked at me, and my mother and my father-- I can't.
I just can't.
Not ever.
[CRYING.]
I'm sorry.
Why? It was my mistake, and you can't feel anything you don't feel, right? I mean, I'm living proof of that.
I just I feel so completely alone.
And I want someone-- You or someone.
--to say it's okay, to say I'm okay.
Just to say, "I love you too.
" [WEEPING.]
God.
CHARLIE: Morning, Claud.
What are you doing? Sitting.
How come? I was just thinking Wondering, actually, why none of my stuff is up there.
They're all yours.
Yours and Bay's and Julia's.
Your handprints, your collages, all these dopey paintings.
There's nothing of mine.
Why do you think that is? Beats me.
Maybe Mom and Dad didn't get the idea to frame stuff until you were already big.
I drew a picture of a skyscraper once.
I brought it in to show it to Dad.
He looked at it, and he kind of sat me on his lap.
I remember thinking that he was gonna hug me, but instead he just started going on about proportions: how it needed to be wider at the base, how a building that tall and narrow would just fall right over.
God, I hated that His Um His insane expectations.
And now, all of a sudden it turns out [LAUGHS WRYLY.]
I've got 'em too.
I'm making the same mistakes, his mistakes.
[LAUGHS.]
Go figure, huh? That's so weird.
I mean, he was never like that with me.
Hmm.
Maybe that's the way it happens with firstborns.
I guess by the time the other kids come along, the parents have learned not to push so hard.
Owen He's Dad's last, but he's kind of my first, you know? So I was thinking I was thinking I should clear a space for this so that he knows it didn't need windows.
[CHURCH BELLS RINGING IN THE DISTANCE.]
[SURPRISED.]
Claud! Don't be mad.
Are you mad? Well, no, but-- I wanted to tell you something.
Only it's not about you-know-who or anything that's happening at home.
Actually, that's pretty okay.
I mean, the Owen situation.
It's pretty okay.
But I know you don't wanna know, and that's not why I'm here.
Ta-da! I got an A.
Hey, Claud, that's great.
I know.
Isn't it? So maybe we can, like, go out and celebrate.
Ice cream's on me this time.
Claudia, I can't.
I'm-- I'm meeting Michael.
Okay.
I mean, I understand.
Hey, Kirsten, Daddy said maybe you'd go with us to the Exploratorium.
I'm so sorry, Kirs.
Marjorie called.
She got stuck in court, so I had to pick up Frannie.
Hey.
Hey.
One of these days, she and I are gonna work all this out.
Who are you? Who's she? Claudia Claudia Claudia, come back here.
[HORNS HONK.]
[LAUGHS BREATHILY.]
So much for saving time on surface streets, huh? [SIGHS.]
You're not mad at me for taking you, are you? The airport's kind of on my way.
It's fine.
I was thinking about you going to Berkeley, and I know it's none of my business, but I don't think you should.
Really? Well, gee, thanks.
No.
I don't mean that the way it sounds.
It's just I've been trying to figure out why you would travel 5000 miles to go to school, you know? Or why you would be interested in me.
Forget it, Julia, okay, please? What I figured out is it's actually because I'm far away and Berkeley's far away from anyone you know.
We're kind of safe that way.
Listen, I know it's easy for me to say, but I don't think you should run away, Allie.
It looks like it's just that traffic signal up ahead.
I bet it'll be pretty clear sailing after that.
Yeah.
[DOORBELL CHIMES.]
You didn't Why didn't you return my calls? I guess I didn't wanna talk to you.
Claudia, this is hard for me too.
Are you trying to replace all of us? Is that what you're doing with that little girl? Are you trying to replace me? No.
I don't believe you.
I can't replace you or Charlie or Owen.
It's not possible.
But I gotta try to move on.
I'm gonna try to find somebody who loves me.
Even if it's not this man, then somebody else.
And if he has children, Claudia, then so much the better.
Listen, you are gonna have new people in your life too.
And I'm gonna have to live with that.
Like Okay, like when Charlie marries someone else.
Aren't you gonna love her? No.
Claudia, I-- I don't know what to do about us.
If I don't get away from this house and your brother and all these things that aren't mine anymore-- I get it.
You can stop now.
[SIGHS.]
Claudia I am always gonna be here for you, and if you ever really need me, you just pick up the phone and you call me, and I promise you I will be there for you.
Okay? Okay, Claudia? Are we kind of breaking up? Is that what we're doing? Bailey? Damn it, they screwed up the stupid order again.
Look at this.
This is not kung pao chicken.
[SNIFFS.]
This is This is pretty good, actually.
Never mind.
You know how sometimes phone numbers can have letters in them? You mean like So I watch some late-night TV.
Do we need plates for this? We don't need plates, do we? No.
So I took a look at her phone number.
My mother's.
You know, just for fun.
And guess what the last four digits spelled.
Sara.
Well, you spell your name with an H.
But it's almost the same thing.
It's enough of the same thing to mean something, don't you think? I don't know.
I think maybe you want it to mean something that it doesn't.
I went through one of those revolving doors yesterday, you know, the ones in Macy's, and there was this woman in front of me who was reflected in the glass, and she had my eyes and my nose and my dark hair, and my heart stopped for a second, because I thought Only it was me.
My reflection.
I had to sit in hosiery for, like, 10 minutes just to catch my breath.
It's funny.
I'm looking for her even when I'm not.
So I think maybe I should call her.
You know, I should stop being afraid and just do it.
She's not your mother, Sarah.
The woman in the phone book.
She's not.
Why would you say that? Because Look, please don't be mad, but I called her, and I went to see her for you.
You did? You saw her? I just thought that if it was her, then Only, see, Robin Merrin: That's not her real name.
She had this really horrible name, so she changed it, like, So So Robin Merrin isn't even who she really is, this woman.
And she never gave a child up for adoption.
She never even had a child.
Oh.
[LAUGHS PAINFULLY.]
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Uh-huh.
Are you mad? Mad, at you? No.
No.
In fact, thank you.
God That would have been awful if I would have gotten my hopes up and everything.
[TEARFULLY.]
The food's probably getting cold, so we should-- Hey.
[BREATHING SHAKILY.]
I know I promised I'd never do this.
What the hell? As long as you don't fidget too much.
Little hurricane Little storm Are you growing? Oh, wait.
Little hurricane Little breeze Are you blowing? Accidents can happen, right? sky of blue But she gives All her radiance to you Little hurricane Your wind is true It's kind of nice, huh? Little hurricane We'll leave that light on tonight.
Little hurricane Your wind is true [GROANS TIREDLY.]
Your wind is true Your wind is true Sleep well.