Punky Brewster (1984) s02e13 Episode Script

Maybe the world is blind or just a little unkind.
Don't know.
Seems you can't be sure of anything anymore.
Although, you may be lonely, and then one day you're smiling again.
Every time I turn around, I see the girl who turns my world around standing there.
Every time I turn around, her spirit's lifting me right off the ground.
What's gonna be? Guess we'll just wait and see.
-We've got enough decorations to trim the Black Forest.
What are you doing? -I'm going over my Christmas gift list.
Punky, how many people have you got on this list? -I cut it down to 74.
-Let me see.
Henry, Cherie, Mrs.
Johnson, Brandon, Mike, Ed Gillespie.
Who's Ed Gillespie? -He's the garbage man.
- And Mel Cooperburg? -He's good friends with Al Dishman.
-Al Dishman? -Ralph Dishman's brother.
-Who's Ralph Dishman? -He's the butcher at the market.
You know, the nice guy who has the hair growing out of his ears.
- That's Ralph Dishman? -Mhm.
-Punky, how do you know all these people? -They're all my friends.
-I've been going to that market for years, and I don't know the checker from the box boy.
-That would be Madge and Larry.
-Punky, what presents do you have planned for all these people? -Well, I've had my eye on this three-story dollhouse for Cherie, and Mrs.
Johnson could use a mink coat.
I'd like to get something kind of sporty for Mike.
You know like a new Porsche.
-Well so far you're talking $94,000, and you haven't even got to Ralph Dishman.
How much money do you have to spend? -$3.
26.
I guess I'm a little short.
-You know, Punky, when it comes to giving gifts, it's the thought that counts.
You're going to have to come up with some cheaper thoughts.
I'll tell you what.
I'll give you $5 each to buy presents for Mike, Cherie, Mrs.
Johnson, Brandon, and me, and to the rest of the people you can send Christmas cards.
-Thanks, Henry.
-You're welcome.
-With $5.
00, I think I'll buy Brandon a personalized doggy dish.
-Good idea.
- And, what do you want for Christmas? -It doesn't matter.
Whatever you get I shall treasure.
-That's what you said last year, when I got you that tie that glows in the dark.
-It's a lovely tie, and I shall always treasure it.
-Then why don't you ever take it out of your closet? -Because that's where it glows the best.
-Henry, this year I'd like to get you something that you'll treasure less and use more.
-Aw, Punky, that's sweet.
But remember to stay in your budget.
-No problem.
Five whole dollars.
I bet I'll be able to get you something that glows in the light.
Attention shoppers, Midtown Mall's holiday sidewalk sale is now in progress.
Today's Christmas special at Knick-Knack World, buy two wise men, get one free.
-Come with me, Henry.
We got a date with some wise men.
-All right.
You girls stay with the toys.
We'll be at Knick-Knack World.
-OK, Henry.
- Punky, look at this.
Comrade Natasha, baby doll from Russia.
-Natasha comes complete with two outfits.
A rad leotard for international gymnastics competition, and a trench coat when she defects to your house.
-Wow.
I sure would love this.
Hint, hint, hint.
-Cherie, you'd better hint, hint, hint to your grandma.
I already spent all the money Henry gave me.
-On what? -Well, I got these expensive earrings for your grandma.
-They're great.
-Won't they look perfect with her nurses' uniform? -Yeah, what else did you buy? -Well, I got this belt for Mike.
It cost a fortune, but it had his name written all over it.
-He'll love it.
-Yeah, but I've only got a few dollars left for Henry.
I promised I'd get him something that he wants.
Now I can't even get him something he doesn't want.
Attention mothers.
Santa Claus has requested that overweight children refrain from sitting on his lap.
If your child weighs over 70 pounds, please have him write Santa a letter.
- Well that was certainly a waste of time.
-What a rip-off.
The three wise men looked more like three stooges.
-Especially Curly.
We should have known better.
Those special sales are merely come-ons.
-You said it.
I'll never fall for that again.
Attention shoppers, as a holiday incentive, Grey Kirk Jewelers is offering a free mother of pearl pin to its next 10 customers.
-Maybe Henry would like this Mr.
T.
wig.
It's only $1.
49.
-Cherie, I want to get him something special, not something on special.
-Hey girls.
-Hi, Richmond.
-Richmond, do you know where I could find the greatest gift in the whole world for under $3.
00? -$3.
00? Punky, you're a cheapskate.
Check out what I got my mom.
-Ooh.
-Genuine leather.
$50.
-Wow.
It's beautiful.
Where did you get the money? -Money's no problem when you shop with the Matzie method.
-Matzie method? -Let me give you a little demonstration.
Gee, I bet my little brother would really love this model airplane.
See how easy it is? -Richmond, the Matzie method is stealing.
-Yeah, you're a shoplifter.
-Shh.
It's just one little airplane.
And besides shoplifting isn't really stealing.
-It isn't? -No.
Stores like it when you rip 'em off.
They make a lot of money from their insurance companies.
-Still doesn't sound right to me.
-All right.
You shop your way, I'll shop mine.
I'd better go.
I still have a few more things to pick up.
Deck the halls with bows of holly.
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la.
'Tis the season to be jolly.
-Check you later, Cherie.
-What do you think of this cashmere scarf? -Ooh, now that's handsome.
It brings out the blue in your eyes.
-Yes, it does doesn't it.
You know, cashmere always makes me feel like a million dollars.
-Then why don't buy it? -Because it costs that much.
-I swear if air wasn't free, you'd buy it by the lungful.
Why don't you loosen up and treat yourself for once? -Aah.
I have always wanted a scarf like this.
No.
I'm saving my money for a special present for Punky.
-I know what you mean.
The kids always come first.
-Go on.
Let's go and find the girls.
-Punky! Mike, what are you doing here? -I'm shopping.
-Thank goodness.
-You OK, Punky? - Me? Never better.
Why, do I look guilty or something? -Hello, Mike.
-Hi, Henry.
-There you are, Punky.
We have to leave right away.
Our three hours of free parking are almost up.
- Where's Cherie? -She's waiting in the car with Mrs.
Johnson.
Mike, can I give you a lift home? No, I have some more shopping to do.
-Well, good luck.
- Thanks, Henry.
Attention shoppers, special year end clearance at Video Boutique.
Hurry now for our bargain video tape of the month, "The Nell Carter Workout.
" -Definitely not you.
Don't like that one.
Look at all these sharp scarves.
Save your money, Fulton.
Hey, what a sec.
Hey, I didn't steal anything.
What a sec.
What are you doing? You can't do this to me.
Hey, hey.
Look, look, look.
Hey, wait a second.
Hey.
But you can't do this to me.
Look.
I'm, I'm a law-abiding citizen.
-Mhm.
-This is a mistake.
-That's right, buddy, and you made it.
-But it wasn't my shopping bag.
-Then why did the bag have a belt in it with your name on it? -Because Mike is the most popular name in the country.
-Really? I'll have to remember that if I'm ever on Jeopardy.
-Hello, son.
Come over and tell Santa what you're in for.
-No thanks, I'll stand.
-They said I stole a scarf.
-Why would they want to say a thing like that? -Because it was in the shopping bag that I was carrying.
-And you didn't put it there? -No! -Whoa, ho, ho, ho! -Shut up, fatso.
-Sorry, Lou.
Let's keep it down.
-What's he in for.
-You don't want to know.
-And what about you, Santa.
What did you do? -Breaking and entering.
-In a Santa suit? -Sure, in a Santa suit.
You know, Christmas is the one time a year that people expect a guy like me to come into their homes.
They even leave sandwiches and cookies.
Then there's that wonderful element of surprise.
-Surprise? -Yeah, normally I know what I'm stealing, but during the holidays I don't know what I got 'til I get home and I unwrap my presents and empty my stockings.
I love Christmas.
-You ought to be ashamed of yourself, stealing people's gifts.
-Look who's talking, Mr.
shop now, pay never.
-No fair peaking, Brandon.
You've got to wait 'til Christmas.
Punky, is something wrong? You were very quiet all the way home.
-I guess I'm just tired from all the shopping.
-Tell me, what did you get for Mrs.
Johnson? -I got her-- a box of cigars? -Cigars.
I thought she quit.
I didn't buy any cigars, or any of this other stuff.
- Well, maybe we've got the wrong bags.
No, this is mine.
- No.
I wonder who got my bag.
-Warnimont residence, Henry speaking.
Hi.
Hi.
You're where? You're where? What happened? Of course it's a mistake.
Don't worry.
We'll be right down there.
-What's the matter? -Mike's in jail.
-Jail? -He got arrested for shoplifting.
-Shoplifting? -The store claims he stole a cashmere scarf.
-Mike didn't steal that scarf.
-Of course he didn't.
It's got to be a terrible mix-up.
But don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of this.
-We will? -Come on, Punky.
We're going to jail.
-Goodbye, Brandon.
See you in 20 years.
-Does that mean that you've been in here 17 days? -No, that means there's only 17 more stealing days 'til Christmas.
-I wonder what's taking Henry so long.
- You're lucky.
You got a friend to spring you.
I got no one, not even an elf.
-Hey folks.
-Yeah.
-You got a visitor.
-Punky! -Hey Mike.
-Where's Henry? -He's getting you bailed, but I've got to tell you something first.
Santa, what are you doing here? -About 5 to 10.
-Don't pay any attention to him.
He's not the real Santa Claus.
Now what is it that you wanted to tell me? -I've got a confession to make.
It's my fault you're in jail.
I wanted to get Henry a special present, but then I ran out of money.
And I saw that beautiful scarf, and I knew it was something Henry always wanted.
So I just put it in my bag, and then my bag became your bag, and your bag became my bag, and I left you holding the bag.
-Punky, you stole that scarf? -Yes.
-And I'm taking the wrap for it? -Yes.
-Just calm down.
Just calm down.
-OK.
-I was talking to myself.
But Punky, I'm surprised at you.
I can't believe that you would steal.
-Well it wasn't really stealing.
It was shoplifting.
-I don't get the difference.
-I heard that stores get a lot of insurance money from shoplifting, so I thought I'd help them out.
-Punky, that's not the way it works.
Shoplifting hurts stores, and to make up for it they have to charge higher prices.
-They do? -Yes.
And I'm paying a higher price for it too.
Getting arrested could cost me my job.
-Mike, I'm really sorry.
I guess I knew all along taking the scarf was wrong, and I could get myself into trouble.
But I never knew I could get you into trouble.
-That's the problem with doing something bad.
You don't know who you're gonna hurt.
-Mike, I'm going to go tell the police what really happened.
I can't let you lose your job.
You're too good a teacher.
-Thanks.
-I'm sorry, Henry.
-This time sorry is not enough.
-I'm really sorry, Henry.
-Not another word.
You stay in this room and come out only for call of nature or call of Henry.
-Mike, I'm so sorry you had to go through that ordeal.
-Well, I have had better Saturdays.
-You should never have been in jail in the first place.
-Well, it's over now.
Punky explained everything, and the charges against me have been dropped.
-Well it's not the end for me.
My job as a parent is to teach her right from wrong.
Obviously I haven't done a very good job.
-Don't come down on yourself, Henry.
You're a wonderful parent.
-Wonderful parents don't raise scarf stealers.
-Henry, didn't you ever steal anything when you were a little boy? -Never.
Well, once, when I was seven.
-What happened? My Uncle Hiram came to visit.
He always had candy in his pockets, and he gave one piece to each of us kids.
Well, one piece wasn't enough for me.
No, sir.
I had to be Henry the hog.
So I stole an extra cherry gumball.
-Is that it? -I've felt guilty about that gumball ever sense.
I'm convinced that's why Uncle Hiram cut me out of his will.
-There, you see? You stole once, and you felt terrible.
So does Punky.
You never stole again, and I'm sure Punky won't either.
-I hope you're right.
-I know I'm right.
Now have you decided on a punishment yet? -She'll have no television for two weeks.
- That's fair.
-She'll be grounded for a month.
- That's fair.
-She'll be grounded for a month.
-She'll be grounded for a month.
-That's certain-- - She'll be grounded for a month.
-That's certain-- -And the store owner and I have devised one more way of driving the point home.
-Excuse me, miss.
Is my package ready yet? -Yes, sir.
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
Attention shoppers, as a special Christmas treat, Mr.
Men's Man Shop is offering free gift wrapping to every mall patron.
Come one, come all.
Come on.
Let's do this one by one.
All right.
Wait, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you handle these?