Robot Chicken s02e13 Episode Script
Metal Militia
It's alive! We're going down! Hello? Come on, this is ridiculous.
Is this button even connected to anything? Hello? Hello? Must Love Dogs, that's a good in-flight movie, huh? What can I tell you? I had a grandmother from hell, OK? She was a Jewish juggler she used to worry about six things at once.
That's reasonably funny.
- Come on! Let's fly! - I can fly! To the sky! Remember to think happy thoughts before you May I help you, son? My dad said I could get a bitchin' sweet ride for my birthday but it has to be under 500 bones.
- I think I have just the thing.
- What the hell is this? Oh, no, no.
Hold it like so.
What's it doing? - Pull this thing over, right now! - I don't know how to stop! This is freakin' awesome! - I have a very small penis.
- So you're looking for an SUV? - A very, very small penis.
- Perhaps a Hummer H2? You are misinterpreting the insignificance of this penis.
- It's literally concave.
- I think I have just the thing.
Yes! Yes! This is very satisfying.
Look at the size of my phantom penis.
This is some serious bullshit.
If only we had Rainbow Brite's Magic Star Sprinkles! We'd turn the whole world gray.
Guys, every night with this.
What's so great about turning the world gray, anyway? Well, it's really more of a metaphor.
I mean, if you want to do something evil, arson is pretty evil.
Look, just Shut up! I say we break into Rainbow Brite's place and take all the Star Sprinkles we want.
None here.
What's under the sink? Tampons.
Game over, man! Game over! Rainbow Brite's gonna kick our asses if she finds us in here! Good God, what a day.
Damn, I was holding that in for hours.
I'm Rick James, bitch.
Black people are so much funnier than white people.
Damn, I am effin' starvin'.
Intruders! Let's get the fuck out of here, man! You're a bitch! "Dear citizens of Rainbow Land, we have changed our ways "and are moving to Tibet to help battle Chinese tyranny.
" Signed, Murky and Lurky.
I knew those guys weren't so bad.
Has anyone seen my cousin Blinky? He hasn't been around lately.
"P.
S.
Blinky came with us.
" Rom Spaceknight! A warrior made of solid metal.
He's beaten the galaxy's toughest villains but now faces a foe in every way his equal.
Jim, the guy with a giant magnet! - Come here.
- No.
- Come on.
- Nuh-uh.
- Chicken.
- You are! - Rom Spacechicken.
- Mature.
Yeah, your mom was mature last night.
- What? - Did her.
- I'll teach you! - Teach this.
- Where's your gun now? - I didn't need it anyway.
- Rommy, it's on the magnet.
- You suck.
- That's what your mom said.
- She did not, my mom was a saint! Saints suck.
- How much is the doggy in the window? - Which one? The one with the waggly tail.
You don't want that one.
He's got cancer.
We've gotta get to that treasure before those bandits do.
That means we'll have to go into the blue.
Hi, I'm Robot Chicken Executive Producer Seth Green.
Because animation takes months to produce we often write our movie parodies before the films have been released.
- Into the blue? - Into the blue.
I hope you've enjoyed this parody of the movie Into the Blue which I'm sure by now has been a box office blockbuster and nominated for several Academy Awards.
Thank you.
- I'm in a bikini.
- I do lots of sit-ups.
Damn it.
I hit the apple.
Where the hell is all the gauze? No, stop! - Mummy time! - You're so scary! Momma, can my new curfew be midnight? Yeah.
When pigs fly.
You heard the lady, Oinky.
Midnight it is.
Wait, wait, wait, he's under a blanket.
He's safe.
Get him, get him, get him! I love beatin' kids! Take that! Young man, if you are not going to use that staff of Ra properly then you can't use it at all.
You'll get this back at the end of the week.
Indy! You have to help me.
Those boys stole my dolly! What do you want, Henry? Please, no! I'm easily nauseated! Look out! Start the station wagon, mom! Start the station wagon! How was school, honey? Did you make any new friends? There's a shake in the car, mom! Why is there a shake in the car? What? I picked up some Burger King for you.
I hate shakes, mom! I hate 'em! I wanted a soda.
Prepare for a visit from the Führer himself.
Mein Gott! Everything must be shpic und shpan! Hogan, will you and your men promise to behave? You better believe it, brother! What's Hitler gonna do when these 24 fighters come for you? Hogan! I know nothing! OK, boys.
The big man's visit is the perfect time to make our escape.
All right, what've we got? We have this rope and this flashlight, the fake passports Playboys, and these.
- Yeah! Snap into a Slim Jim! - Holy shit! Slim Jim! I just love Slim Jims! Roddy, we need your stealth.
Go take out the guard real quiet-like, and the rest of us will sneak past Gotcha, Hogan! Hey, you fucking Nazi! How are ya? Everything had better be in tiptop shape.
Jawohl, mein Führer! - Hulkamania, runnin' wild! - Macho madness is comin' at you! Leaping Lanny Poffo's going baffo! - Mein schnitzel! - Oh, no.
Sergeant Slaughter's not done with you two.
And Hitler takes a flaming chair to the spine in what will surely go down in history as one of WrestleMania's greatest moments.
Sergeant Shultz, do you have any comment? I know nothing!
Is this button even connected to anything? Hello? Hello? Must Love Dogs, that's a good in-flight movie, huh? What can I tell you? I had a grandmother from hell, OK? She was a Jewish juggler she used to worry about six things at once.
That's reasonably funny.
- Come on! Let's fly! - I can fly! To the sky! Remember to think happy thoughts before you May I help you, son? My dad said I could get a bitchin' sweet ride for my birthday but it has to be under 500 bones.
- I think I have just the thing.
- What the hell is this? Oh, no, no.
Hold it like so.
What's it doing? - Pull this thing over, right now! - I don't know how to stop! This is freakin' awesome! - I have a very small penis.
- So you're looking for an SUV? - A very, very small penis.
- Perhaps a Hummer H2? You are misinterpreting the insignificance of this penis.
- It's literally concave.
- I think I have just the thing.
Yes! Yes! This is very satisfying.
Look at the size of my phantom penis.
This is some serious bullshit.
If only we had Rainbow Brite's Magic Star Sprinkles! We'd turn the whole world gray.
Guys, every night with this.
What's so great about turning the world gray, anyway? Well, it's really more of a metaphor.
I mean, if you want to do something evil, arson is pretty evil.
Look, just Shut up! I say we break into Rainbow Brite's place and take all the Star Sprinkles we want.
None here.
What's under the sink? Tampons.
Game over, man! Game over! Rainbow Brite's gonna kick our asses if she finds us in here! Good God, what a day.
Damn, I was holding that in for hours.
I'm Rick James, bitch.
Black people are so much funnier than white people.
Damn, I am effin' starvin'.
Intruders! Let's get the fuck out of here, man! You're a bitch! "Dear citizens of Rainbow Land, we have changed our ways "and are moving to Tibet to help battle Chinese tyranny.
" Signed, Murky and Lurky.
I knew those guys weren't so bad.
Has anyone seen my cousin Blinky? He hasn't been around lately.
"P.
S.
Blinky came with us.
" Rom Spaceknight! A warrior made of solid metal.
He's beaten the galaxy's toughest villains but now faces a foe in every way his equal.
Jim, the guy with a giant magnet! - Come here.
- No.
- Come on.
- Nuh-uh.
- Chicken.
- You are! - Rom Spacechicken.
- Mature.
Yeah, your mom was mature last night.
- What? - Did her.
- I'll teach you! - Teach this.
- Where's your gun now? - I didn't need it anyway.
- Rommy, it's on the magnet.
- You suck.
- That's what your mom said.
- She did not, my mom was a saint! Saints suck.
- How much is the doggy in the window? - Which one? The one with the waggly tail.
You don't want that one.
He's got cancer.
We've gotta get to that treasure before those bandits do.
That means we'll have to go into the blue.
Hi, I'm Robot Chicken Executive Producer Seth Green.
Because animation takes months to produce we often write our movie parodies before the films have been released.
- Into the blue? - Into the blue.
I hope you've enjoyed this parody of the movie Into the Blue which I'm sure by now has been a box office blockbuster and nominated for several Academy Awards.
Thank you.
- I'm in a bikini.
- I do lots of sit-ups.
Damn it.
I hit the apple.
Where the hell is all the gauze? No, stop! - Mummy time! - You're so scary! Momma, can my new curfew be midnight? Yeah.
When pigs fly.
You heard the lady, Oinky.
Midnight it is.
Wait, wait, wait, he's under a blanket.
He's safe.
Get him, get him, get him! I love beatin' kids! Take that! Young man, if you are not going to use that staff of Ra properly then you can't use it at all.
You'll get this back at the end of the week.
Indy! You have to help me.
Those boys stole my dolly! What do you want, Henry? Please, no! I'm easily nauseated! Look out! Start the station wagon, mom! Start the station wagon! How was school, honey? Did you make any new friends? There's a shake in the car, mom! Why is there a shake in the car? What? I picked up some Burger King for you.
I hate shakes, mom! I hate 'em! I wanted a soda.
Prepare for a visit from the Führer himself.
Mein Gott! Everything must be shpic und shpan! Hogan, will you and your men promise to behave? You better believe it, brother! What's Hitler gonna do when these 24 fighters come for you? Hogan! I know nothing! OK, boys.
The big man's visit is the perfect time to make our escape.
All right, what've we got? We have this rope and this flashlight, the fake passports Playboys, and these.
- Yeah! Snap into a Slim Jim! - Holy shit! Slim Jim! I just love Slim Jims! Roddy, we need your stealth.
Go take out the guard real quiet-like, and the rest of us will sneak past Gotcha, Hogan! Hey, you fucking Nazi! How are ya? Everything had better be in tiptop shape.
Jawohl, mein Führer! - Hulkamania, runnin' wild! - Macho madness is comin' at you! Leaping Lanny Poffo's going baffo! - Mein schnitzel! - Oh, no.
Sergeant Slaughter's not done with you two.
And Hitler takes a flaming chair to the spine in what will surely go down in history as one of WrestleMania's greatest moments.
Sergeant Shultz, do you have any comment? I know nothing!